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A 14-year-old Canadian girl was arrested for being drunk and disorderly (she later pleaded guilty) and was placed in a cell. Maybe it’s just me, but how much of a threat can a girl that age – in a jail cell – be? As reported by canada.com:

Roberts [the family’s lawyer] said the two officers used the conductive energy device after the girl had been “sporadically peeling paint from the walls of her jail cell.” The lawsuit said she “remained motionless for nearly an hour.”

You taser a girl in a cell for peeling paint? I know, that’s the family’s lawyer talking. Well, there is a video of the whole thing, which the girls father has seen, but the police won’t release. Hmmm.

Roberts said a surveillance video taken in the jail cell that has been viewed by the girl’s father and the native band chief allegedly showed the girl scream as she was pinned down and Tasered for three seconds by the officers. He said police have refused to turn over the video to him.

I’m with the family’s lawyer on this one.

“This is not a matter of us being anti-cop because we know that most cops do a great service for us every day,” he said. “This tool is something that is to be used only in emergency situations, and now it is being used frequently. I don’t understand why they feel the need to apply an electric shock to a 14-year-old girl presenting no danger to herself or anyone.”

Not cool.

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Man, this crime thing is easy. They’ll never catch us! Hey, I need some new jeans. Let’s head over to Walmart … Well, that’s what 20-year-old Dustin Matthew Marshall and 19-year-old Lindsey Samantha Scholl apparently did. And Mr. Marshall got his jeans. But when he took off with the new ones, he left the old ones behind in the dressing room … with his wallet in the pocket! As reported by NewsChannel5.com (Nashville, Tennessee):

Police said they arrested two people in a string of thefts after one of the suspect’s literally left his identification behind.

… Matthew … and … Scholl were arrested and charged with charged with burglary, three counts of theft from a motor vehicle, two counts of theft under $500 and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Police said they were able to identify the pair as suspects in a string of thefts since October 14 after Marshall allegedly stole a pair of jeans and left his old jeans, containing his wallet with his driver’s license inside, behind in the dressing room at Walmart.

On Saturday night, police said the suspects fled the Longhorn Steakhouse in Gallatin without paying for their meal and left behind evidence that linked them to one of the auto burglaries.

The police never had it this easy.

Officers later located the pair outside their home on East Prince Street and subsequently obtained a search warrant which produced evidence connected the suspects to the remaining auto burglaries and a burglary at the Christian Towers Apartments.

Both Marshall and Scholl were arrested and booked into the Sumner County Jail.

 

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For offenses involving socks, two British men were sentenced to 18 months in jail (for “conspiring to commit acts of gross indecency”), and put on the sex offenders’ registry for 10 years. Really. Per The Southport Visiter:

Two men swindled hundreds of people in Southport out of their socks back in the 1990s.

How do you “swindle” folks out of socks?

Claiming to be collecting the socks for good causes, the men approached unsuspecting victims in the resort’s bars and clubs and paid revellers up to £5 for their footwear.

Creepy.

They made sure to take pictures of the victims with their socks and then meticulously tagged each pair with the donor’s name before wrapping them in sandwich bags.

Creepier. Guess what the police found at one of the dude’s flat?

… 4,000 pairs in binbags in a cupboard. Officers described their astonishment when they found they had to wade through an 18 inch deep “carpet” of smelly socks. “They were everywhere and anywhere,” an officer said.

“They were all over the furniture, hanging from lampshades and even in the microwave, frying pan and cooker.”

“It was like there had been an explosion in a sock factory and socks had blown all over the place. In my 25 years with the police I have never seen anything like it.”

Here’s the source.

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Odds are that even The Juice’s loyal readers are raising their eyebrows. Rest assured, though, breasts may be bared in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. True, they are the breasts of transgender males, but tell that to the folks who complained to lifeguards about the “females showing their breasts.” As reported by Delaware Online:

Rehoboth Beach and the local Internet have been buzzing for days after a few transgendered men caused a stir on the beach over the holiday weekend by removing their tops and revealing their enhanced breasts.

“Passers-by came up to the lifeguard and said they were alarmed and unhappy with the females showing their breasts,” Police Chief Keith Banks said. “The lifeguard responded and saw that they were males.”

Banks said police were called because the men originally refused to put their tops back on, but had consented before police arrived. Officers made sure the situation was under control, and no citations were issued.

Turns out they couldn’t have issued citations.

… Rehoboth law defines indecent exposure two ways:

“A male is guilty of indecent exposure if he exposes his genitals or buttocks under circumstances which he knows his conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm to another person.

A female is guilty of indecent exposure if she exposes her genitals, breasts or buttocks under circumstances which she knows her conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm to another person.”

So …

“It is important to say that under Rehoboth law this was not against the law,” Banks said. “In this case, they had male genitalia; therefore, they are not guilty of a crime.”

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I didn’t steal that MP3 player. It’s my sister’s… Okay, and you’re sticking with that? As reported by The Herald-Tribune:

A teen suspect in several car burglaries, while being questioned by a sheriff’s deputy, reportedly claimed that the MP3 player in his possession belonged to his sister.

Okay, so what’s the problem?

When the deputy turned the device on, however, he reportedly saw another deputy’s family photo. That deputy’s sister-in-law reportedly confirmed that the MP3 player had been stolen from her unlocked car.

Um. I found it? My friend gave it to me? I …

Deputies arrested William Kyle Campbell, 18, of the 9200 block of Anita Avenue, in his Englewood neighborhood Sunday morning after residents complained about suspicious males on bicycles.

Campbell reportedly dropped gloves and a GPS when confronted. Deputies said Campbell had bulging pockets that contained the MP3 player, two flashlights, a wallet, a ring, a woman’s earring, two necklaces, sunglasses and a large amount of coins.

The charges?

… four counts of burglary of a conveyance, four petit theft charges and a count of possession of burglary tools.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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Sure, there have been mistakes made in the “war on drugs” and the “war on terror.” But exactly how Australian customs could make such a colossal mistake is hard to fathom. As reported at news.com.au:

Neil Parry was arrested in June last year at Darwin Airport and charged with trafficking 1.6kg of liquid ecstasy in two bottles of Pantene.

After spending three days in jail last year, and having friends’ homes searched, Mr Parry was granted bail.

There was just one teeny, tiny problem with the case against Mr. Parry.

Customs later admitted the toiletries contained no illegal drugs and all charges against Mr Parry were dropped.

NO DRUGS!

Today, Mr Parry told ABC Radio he had been given $100,000 in compensation for his ordeal and an apology.

Wow, so it worked out well for him after all? Not exactly.

“It is not worth it, no,” Mr Parry said.”I would rather it never happened,” he said.

He said most of the money would go towards his legal expenses.

Here’s the source.

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Nothing this exciting ever happened to The Juice during high school. Of course, The Juice attended high school even before the advent of those brick cell phones. Anyway, aren’t teachers supposed to be telling kids NOT to do this? As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer:

A North Ridgeville High School teacher is on paid administrative leave while police investigate reports that she had an affair with a student.

Police said rumors of a sexual relationship were circulating Wednesday after the teacher sent scantily clad pictures of herself to a student. Police said she admitted sending photos of herself in a bikini.

Police said the teacher admitted having “flirtatious conversations” and texts with one or two students, but denied rumors that she had a sexual relationship with any student.

That would be akin to pulling a Weiner, although a lighter version.

A statement from Captain Marti Garrow indicated that it is likely the information gathered in the investigation would be presented to the Lorain County Grand Jury for consideration of prosecution.

Here’s the source.

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Whatever happened to “live and let live?” Something surely happened to it in the village of Lakemoor, Illinois. Just ask Ms. Tina Asmus, who used two toilets and a sink as planters in her yard. For this abominable crime, she was fined $25 under the village’s public nuisance ordinance, as reported by The Northwest Herald. Fortunately, Ms. Asmus fought the fine. And?

While McHenry County Judge Michael Caldwell said on Wednesday that the planters were “not something that appeal” to him, he cited his decades of experience as a village attorney to say the ordinance was not designed to apply in instances like this. Instead, it was meant to stop old, nonfunctional cars from sitting in driveways and prohibit unauthorized scrap metal recycling yards.

You go Judge. The Juice agrees with Ms. Asmus’s attorney.

“It may be that some of [her neighbors] don’t like it,” [Mr. George] Kililis said. “But frankly, that’s their problem.”

And check this out:

One of the toilets also had “God bless my neighbors” written on it, as well as a smiley face.

Well played, madam.

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Talk about dressing for the occasion. You will not believe what this drunk-driving dude’s shirt said. As reported by The New York Post:

A fashion-forward Long Island boozehound lost control of his car and rammed it into a marked Suffolk County cop car that was on DWI patrol — all while wearing a T-shirt with a message that couldn’t be more fitting for the occasion.

So what did the t-shirt say?

“I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.”

Doh!

The self-professed “drunk” — who has 13 prior arrests and seven convictions for various crimes — spun his 2000 Saturn out of control at about 1:45 a.m. yesterday as he attempted to turn east from County Road 83 to Route 25A in Mount Sinai.

As he came around the bend, he hit the side of a parked Suffolk cop car that was part of the department’s Selective Alcohol Fatality Enforcement Team, in which an officer had been observing traffic for possible drunk drivers.

Oops. You can read more (a fair amount) and see the mug shot here.

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If you were in a food fight, you’d definitely want this guy on your side. As reported by The Union City Messenger (Tennessee):

Emanual Cordell Kennedy, 37, of 907 North Glendale St., Union City, was arrested at 4:38 p.m. Tuesday on a charge of domestic assault, according to a Union City Police Department report.

Brenda King, 55, told police she and her son, Kennedy, had a disagreement at her home at 907 North Glendale St. She claimed the disagreement escalated until Kennedy allegedly threw something and hit her in the back while she was walking down the hall. She left the residence and went to the police department to report it.

So what was it that hit her?

Police reported Kennedy admitted to officers that he threw a ham, but he told police he was not expecting Ms. King to be walking down the hall and did not expect to hit her. He was taken into custody for the domestic assault charge.

You threw a ham at your mama? Not cool, sir. Not cool.

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