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spray bottle liquid

Yes folks, you read that correctly. As reported by detroit.cbslocal.com:

Jason Festerman was called to school after his son was suspended for spraying prank item Liquid Ass in his classroom. Ads claim Liquid Ass is a “power–packed, super–concentrated liquid (that) begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo.”

Festerman claims he was innocently checking the item in the school, when it discharged — and the police were called.

Uh huh.

Festerman was charged with disorderly conduct, which carries a possibly penalty of $200 and/or 90 days in jail. Marine City Schools officials claim he attacked teachers and administrators with the foul smell.

They believe he was acting out over his son’s one-day suspension. In a TV interview, Festerman said his whole family enjoys carrying out “Liquid Ass ” pranks wherever they go, though he said they punished their son for bringing their property to his class and disturbing the room.

What about Festerman’s assertion that he just accidentally sprayed the, um, scent while testing to see if there was any left?

“Our security cameras seem to indicate otherwise,” Wolford said.

Bam! Here’s the source.

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school lockers

Most of us would like to be young again. Okay, so most of the old folks like The Juice would like to be young again. And many of us say that we act young and feel young, and that’s all that matters. Not to this Texas lady. She went back to relive it all. As reported by newschannel10.com:

Police say Charity Anne Johnson was arrested after giving officers a fake name and birthday going by “Charity Stevens.” This is also the same alias Johnson used to enroll at the high school.

A spokesperson for the school said Johnson was brought in to enroll with a person who she claimed was her guardian and gave a date of birth indicating she was only 15. Staff at the school discovered her identification was fake and not only that, but that she had been a student there since October 2013.

People at the school say she claimed to be abused by her biological father.  School officials say she came in as a home-schooled student without any prior transcripts. Her bond has been set at 500 dollars.

You’ll find the source, including a news video, here.    Update: She served about a month in jail, and was released. Here’s that story.

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dollar sign money

Honestly, did she think she would get away with stealing from a fund for U.S. Marshal’s, police, and firefighter’s survivors? Apparently so. As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat:

A 53-year-old St. Louis woman pleaded guilty Wednesday to stealing nearly $19,000 intended to benefit the families of police, firefighters and deputy marshals killed in the line of duty.

Pamela Denise Robtoy appeared subdued when she walked to the lectern, speaking so softly that U.S. District Judge David R. Herndon asked her to speak up, as she pleaded guilty to embezzling money from a charity golf tournament intended to benefit BackStoppers and the U.S. Marshal’s Survivor’s Benefits Fund.

She now faces 20 years in federal prison, three years of supervised release, up to $250,000 in fines for each of two felony counts and mandatory restitution of nearly $19,000. She pleaded guilty to one count of mail fraud and one count of wire fraud.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.




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police badge

You could go online and get red and blue lights and put them in your grill. Presto, you are now driving an unmarked cop car. That’s the game this guy was playing. (Hopefully it was just a game, and not something nefarious, not that the judge is likely to care.) Anyway, if this gent ever saw Casablanca, he would be Humphrey Bogart (he wishes), saying “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” As reported by khou.com:

Flashing red and blue lights on the front grill of a truck caught one officer off-guard Wednesday afternoon, on SH 249 in Tomball.

“I thought it was an unmarked police vehicle,” said Sgt,. Rebecca Carlisle, with Tomball Police.

It almost fooled Carlisle, when she saw them in her rear view mirror.

In case you missed it, that was “Sgt. Rebecca Carlisle” the wannabe pulled over.

“My initial instinct was oh my God! What am I doing to get pulled over?” said Carlisle.

But the sergeant, who was in her full uniform, quickly knew something was wrong.

“Well I’m not speeding. I’m in the city I work in, and I don’t recognize the vehicle.”

Carlisle told KHOU 11 News that she rolled down her window and waived the suspect over.

Uh-oh. You in trouble now.

Tomball police say when 21-year-old Bennjair Pina-Torres pulled his white truck alongside, something spooked him and he sped off.

Carlisle followed and called for backup. She said the suspect was speeding at times, faster than 100 mph, running red lights and running people off the road.

“It scared the death of out of me.”

At one point, the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office and Precinct 5 Constables Office were notified.

“He still got his red and blues on the grill. A precinct five constable initiates a traffic stop and they take him into custody,” said Tomball PD Captain, Rickey Dorre.

And if you think this guy is a serial offender … you would be wrong.

Pina-Torres is charged with impersonating a peace officer, a 3rd degree felony. According to Tomball PD, he has no prior record.

Here’s the source, with video.

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grandma grandmother granny

Hey, if you make a threat and you don’t follow through with it, people won’t take you seriously, right? Sure, but maybe you shouldn’t make the threat in the first place. As reported by ksdk.com:

Madison County Sheriff’s Office investigated an animal cruelty call in Godfrey, Ill. Monday night.

Cat lovers might want to skip this post and come back to Legal Juice tomorrow.

A teenage occupant of the home on the 5000 block of Victor Drive answered the door. She told the deputy that she found her dead cat in the family’s freezer. The deputy asked the girl and her grandmother, Josephine E. Bell, what happened to the cat. Bell interrupted saying that she killed the cat and its four kittens. The 71-year-old grandmother told the deputy that she had previously told her grandchildren that they would lose their animals if they didn’t clean their rooms.

She sure showed them. How does someone do that – to the cats, and to her kin?

Bell said that she didn’t feel she had to take care of the pets and killed them with a hammer.

The kittens had been disposed of and the deputy could not locate them.

Godfrey Animal Control was called to the home and took custody of the dead cat.

Bell was taken into custody and transported to the Madison County Jail. She will remain in custody at the jail pending formal review of facts by the Madison County State’s Attorney’s Office. Bond is set at $15,000.

Stone, stone cold. Here’s the source, which includes mug shots. 

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dog puppy pup

It’s not exactly “the dog ate my homework,” but it’s in the same family of lame excuses. As reported by The Beacon-Times:

An Aurora man who said he was exhausted from taking care of a puppy was charged with DUI after falling asleep in a fast food restaurant drive-through lane Saturday morning.

Police found Matthew Gunderson, 29, 4100 block of Landing Drive, asleep behind the wheel of his car at the Steak and Shake restaurant in the 4300 block of Fox Valley Center Drive around 2:17 a.m.

A restaurant employee called police after she noticed Gunderson asleep. According to police reports, it took officers several attempts to wake the sleeping Gunderson. When he finally woke up, police said he complained of exhaustion. Gunderson said he had a new puppy and was tired from trying to take care of it, police said.

Gunderson was charged with drunken driving after police said they noticed he showed signs of intoxication.

How considerate of him to make the bust so easy! Click here for the source.

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The “lesson” this teacher was trying to teach will – with absolute certainty – never be forgotten by seven South Korean elementary school students. As reported by The Korea Times:

Police Monday investigated an instructor at a rural South Korean boarding facility who bit a hamster to death and swallowed it in front of children.

Yikes! Why?

The instructor, surnamed Yu, 44, said he did so because he was “afraid of rats.”

So that may explain why you chose a hamster instead of a rat. So, again, why?

After finding out that some children were teasing hamsters, Yu bit one to death and swallowed it to teach them “how dear life is,” according to police.

Seven children saw him eat the animal.

Yu also used abusive language in front of the children.

Hmm. Interesting method. Think the parents were a little upset? You betcha.

He left the facility when other teachers protested. Parents have filed a complaint with police, alleging child abuse.

Yu told Yonhap News Agency by phone that he had feared rats after being bitten while at elementary school.

“I couldn’t control the situation and couldn’t stand it,” he was quoted as saying.

He then reiterated that he wanted to teach the children how precious life was.

“While watching the hamsters die from teasing, I thought I should teach the children it was wrong to make light of life,” he said.

He apologized to the children, parents and other instructors, saying he would not have killed the hamster if he had known it would be considered a form of child abuse.

Yu appeared at Jeongeup Police Station and admitted his act. Police booked him without physical detention for child abuse.

Crazy. Here’s the source.


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car wash

Driving around the fountain in your car- that’s hilarious! No, not really. As reported by bt.com:

A cheeky driver thought he’d found a free car wash in the shape of Wakefield’s Bullring fountain – until the police noticed the brazen bather and gave chase.

The video shows the moment a motorist is chased by police after he took his car for a wash – in a fountain.

The incredible footage captures the driver of the silver Vauxhall Insignia spinning round under the jets of the famous Bullring fountain in Wakefield, West Yorkshire.  
As a police car approaches, the car wash cheapskate makes a crawling getaway as the plodding panda car makes after him.

Incredulous onlookers start shouting “nick him” as the police car appears on the scene, cheering as the cop car enters the Bullring.

Here’s the source, including a video of the “action.”


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soccer ball goal

If you ever needed evidence supporting the fact that soccer fans are extremely invested in their teams, look no further than this bizarre incident. As reported by espnfc.com:

The shocking incidents occurred in Maranhao, Brazil, last Sunday. According to reports, referee Otavio Jordao da Silva fatally stabbed footballer Josenir dos Santos Abreu.

A ref doesn’t just stab a player right? Right.

Dos Santos Abreu is believed to have struck the referee after questioning a decision. In retaliation, Jordao da Silva stabbed the player.

This was a very bad decision.

Having witnessed the incident, an outraged group of spectators turned on the referee. He was tied up, beaten, stoned and quartered. They then put his head on a stake and planted it in the middle of the pitch.

One man, Luiz Moraes de Souza, 27, has been arrested over the incident. Police are searching for two more suspects.

You’ll find the source here.

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baseball batter player hitting ball hit

Call me crazy, but shouldn’t you run a criminal background check before you give someone the job, especially one involving children? Er, uh, yup! Fortunately this gent’s crime only involved money.  Per The Shreveport Times:

Bossier Sheriff Julian Whittington says a Haughton man is wanted on felony theft charges for defrauding parents, youth and sponsors by stealing nearly $3,000 from a youth baseball league.

Well, he said he didn’t have a criminal record!

Robert Martin III, 25, of the 2100 block of Rogers Ln. in Haughton, applied with Haughton Dixie Baseball League to be a coach for the spring season. He quickly started accepting payments from parents and sponsors for baseball uniforms, t-shirts, belts and socks. Unbeknownst to them, Martin schemed to take the money and run. Although Martin had indicated on his coaching application in late February that he didn’t have a criminal record, the league discovered through a routine background investigation in March that Martin had a prior criminal history, making him ineligible to coach the children. League leadership immediately contacted Martin to have him return the funds and any equipment, but he never showed up.

Bossier detectives soon began their investigation and determined Martin had cashed checks he had received from parents and sponsors. Others had given him cash. In total, he swindled the group for $2,897.00.

Doh! That is one well-run league. As for “the coach” …

A warrant was issued for his arrest on April 10, and he has continued to elude authorities. Martin is wanted for felony theft charges and faces a $5,000 bond.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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