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Let’s just say this lady does not take criticism well, especially when she’s behind the wheel. What did she do when her husband took exception to her driving? As reported by The Argus Leader (South Dakota):

A Sioux Falls woman tried to run down her husband with a Chrysler New Yorker Thursday night for questioning her driving skills, police say.

Shazam! You might be wondering about the logistics of running someone down for “backseat” driving. The Juice will explain.

The officer had responded to a report of a dispute in the street near the intersection of West 29th Street and South Lake Avenue, where neighbors reported that a man had been hit with a vehicle after arguing with the driver.

Iron Heart sped away quickly when the officer tried to pull her over near 33rd Street and West Avenue, Clemens said, and the pursuit ended due to high speeds near 33rd and Willow Avenue.

The officer returned to the scene of the dispute and spoke with Iron Heart’s husband, who told him he’d upset her when he complained about her erratic driving and demanded to get out of the car. She apparently followed him with the car when he got out, and he later told the officer he’d “bounced” off the hood at one point during the ensuing argument.

Lady, are you high? Well …

Police caught 37-year-old Crystal Lee Iron Heart at the Arena Motel at around 8 p.m. … Iron Hawk was charged with DUI, aggravated assault and aggravated eluding. She also was charged with one count of hit-and-run for allegedly tagging a parked car at 33rd and West.

[HT to a lawyer-source who prefers to remain anonymous. Can you blame him?] Here’s the link to The Argus Leader.

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Certainly domestic life often presents challenging situations. But this? As reported by
BeeNews.com (New York):

Police responded to a North Seine Drive residence where a 
male and female
 were having an argument about how the pizza had been 
sliced.

Really?

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What the hell was this guy thinking? He had just been released from jail. From the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s office:

A Crestview man released from the Okaloosa County Jail on a domestic violence battery charge Wednesday didn’t even make it out of the parking lot before committing crimes which put him right back in a cell.

38-year old Gabriel Allen Kirkpatrick of Grady Lane in Crestview is charged with four counts of burglary.

Kirkpatrick had just been released March 14th when Okaloosa Sheriff’s deputies say he went into the jail parking lot and started trying to break into cars. In one case, he unscrewed the radio antenna from the exterior and was trying to use it to gain entry.

Kirkpatrick was placed into custody and taken back inside for processing.

Dude! Dude? Here’s the source.

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You’re thinking “of course.” Like most things in life, though, it’s not that simple. Or … is it? Dude got married in Pennsylvania, and years later married his girlfriend in Nevada. Pennsylvania charged him with bigamy, and got a conviction.

Not so fast, said Mr. Seiders. I got married in Nevada, not in Pennsylvania. So, even if I did commit bigamy, it was in Nevada, not here. Case dismissed!

What does the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania think of this argument? Not so much. Being married, it says, is conduct that occurred in Pennsylvania. Case closed!

So who won? Mr. Seiders. Said the Court:

The crime of bigamy, under section 4301, is committed at the time when and in the place where the second marriage is contracted or purported to be contracted.

Sentence reversed! Appellant (Mr. Seiders) discharged! The case is Commonwealth v. Seiders (2010 PA Super 194), which you can read here.

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So the police will investigate you if your husband merely claims you are using black magic? Apparently so, at least if you live in Kuwait. As reported by the Arab Times:

A Kuwaiti man has filed a complaint with the Adan Police Station accusing his ex-wife of doing black magic. He claims the magic harmed him and his two daughters, reports Al-Rai daily.
 According to the man the woman planted some magic charms in his home to promote hatred between him and his daughters.
 He also said because of the magic he and his daughters are suffering from dermal disease. The suspect will be summoned for interrogation.

Hmm. Perhaps your daughters don’t like you because you’re a yutz? And maybe your daughters have “dermal disease” because they are teenagers? Just sayin’ …

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If these allegations are true … what a great example this Florida school superintendent is setting for her students. As reported by TCPalm.com:

The Florida Department of Law Enforcement is reviewing allegations that Martin County Schools Superintendent Nancy Kline cheated on a certification exam in 2009.

Yikes.

In a memo to School Board Attorney Doug Griffin dated Jan. 22, Kim Sabol, the district’s labor/employment representative, wrote that Terrie Kenney, a former consultant and volunteer with the district, claimed Kline phoned Kenney “for help in answering test questions while taking what Ms. Kenney later learned was a certification examination for the Florida Superintendent Special Certification Program.”

What are the specific allegations?

According to the memo, Kenney reported Kline called from a hotel room, said some of the questions were “really hard” and admitted she didn’t attend all the class sessions leading up to the test.

So like, if you don’t go to class, that makes the test harder? Who knew?

When Kenney suggested Kline call Frank Raffone, the district’s assistant superintendent, for help on some questions, “the superintendent did not say anything in response.”

Kline’s unwillingness to get help from a school official “solidified” for Kenney that the superintendent “knew what she was doing was wrong,” Sabol wrote.

Kline’s defense?

Kenney reportedly suggested to Sabol that Kline’s calls could have been allowed because it was an “open book exam.”

Sabol wrote that she replied, “Terrie, open book, if that is even true, does not mean cheating!”

“These allegations have no credibility – this is nothing more than a smear campaign,” Kline said Monday night.

Speaking of campaigns …

Kline is up for re-election this year, facing a challenge by School Board member Laurie Gaylord.

You can read more (a fair amount) and see a video here.

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It would be misleading, though not totally false, to say this guy walked into a Florida Papa John’s and stole pizza. Here’s what happened, per wptv.com:

Polk County deputies say a man walked into Papa John’s Pizza restaurant, put on a pizza costume, and then walked out of the Lakeland restaurant Sunday evening.

You stole a pizza costume? The Juice is guessing you didn’t know they have video cameras in the store.

Detectives say a white man, perhaps 18 years old, entered the restaurant with six others, wearing a white button-up shirt, dark pants and a dark tie. He put the costume on and left the store wearing it.

The costume is described as approximately six feet tall, and looks like a giant slice of pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers and black olives.

Video surveillance shows the images of the suspect and four persons of interest. They are described as three older white males with dark hair. One had a full beard. The fourth person of interest is described as a white female with dark hair.

Here’s the source, including a photo and a video (skip to around 2:35).

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If you’re separated, but still living in the same house, don’t you expect awkward situations? Well, a Pennsylvania man claims, in his defense, that he was just trying to avoid those awkward moments (awkward for him, any way). As reported by the Beaver County Times:

Suzanne Cripe, no age given, of 111 Grays Lane, contacted police Feb. 20 and said she had found a “transmitter device” under her bed, according to a township police report. She told police she thought the device had been placed there by her husband, Wayne Comet Cripe, 66, also of 111 Grays Lane.

The Cripes “have been separated for some time,” and were still sharing a house, but they had separate bedrooms, the police report said.

The interrogation of Mr. Cripe was extremely intense, but he finally cracked.

When police made contact with Wayne Cripe he said, “I guess she found the transmitter,” before police even asked him any questions, the report said.

Why’d he do it?

Wayne Cripe told the police he put the transmitter under his wife’s bed because he wanted to know whether she and her boyfriend were having sex. He told police he was tired of hearing them and wanted to know “if the coast was clear” before entering his home, the report said.

Uh huh. The charges?

… a misdemeanor charge of invasion of privacy and a felony charge of intercept communications, which means he intentionally intercepted communication from someone else without that individual’s knowledge.

Like The Juice said, awkward. Here’s the source.

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Has The Juice lost it, you may be asking yourself? No, he’s just referring to a very strange law that is on the books in the City of Everett, Washington. Here it is:

9.24.010 Hypnotism unlawful.

It is unlawful for any hypnotist or mesmerist, or other person, to exhibit or display, or permit to be exhibited or displayed, any subject of any hypnotist or mesmerist, or any person while under the influence of or alleged influence of hypnotism or mesmerism, in any window or public place outside of the hall or theater where such hypnotist or mesmerist is giving his entertainment or exhibition.

You are feeling very sleepy … If you’re really interested, you’ll find the code section here. Just look for Chapter 9.24 (under Title 9).

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So the dude gets busted for going 105 MPH, and drives slower after that. What’s the bad news? He didn’t slow down quite enough. As reported by The Oregonian:

It all began Wednesday morning when a trooper stopped a westbound car hitting 92 mph on Interstate 84, just west of The Dalles.

During a routine check, the trooper discovered the driver – identified as Jose Romero-Valenzuela, 34, of Las Vegas — had already been stopped twice in the past 60 minutes.

The trooper learned that the same car had been pulled over 30 miles to the east for hitting 98 mph. And, before that a Gilliam County Sheriff’s Deputy pulled the driver for hitting 105 mph.

Just to review – 105, then 98, then 92. So over the course of an hour, he was clearly changing his ways. And in case you need further proof:

After letting the driver go, another trooper [number 4] west of Hood River was waiting with a radar gun, Hastings said. The car, he said, was driving within the 65 mph speed limit.

Reformed! Where was Mr. Romero-Valenzuela going in such a hurry?

[he] … told the trooper he was on his way to Oregon City. He had to appear in the Clackamas County Circuit Court for a preliminary hearing on a drug-related charge.

“Your Honor, I would have been on time, but …” Here’s the source.

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