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Woman looking for hook up hooks up with man looking for same. But this was no ordinary hook-up, as reported by theprovince.com.

The 43-year-old man had met a woman four years his senior in a bar in the southern German city on Monday and she took him back to her apartment for sex, a police spokesman said in a statement.

“There they had sexual intercourse several times,” the spokesman said.

“When the 47-year-old wanted even more, her partner said no.”

The man then attempted to leave the apartment but the woman prevented him from escaping and demanded he sleep with her again.

The man then attempted to leave the apartment but the woman prevented him from escaping and demanded he sleep with her again.

“Because the 43-year-old saw no other alternative, he complied with the woman’s wishes another few times so he could finally leave the apartment,” the spokesman said.

Doesn’t life just suck? This poor, poor man. Finally, he took a stand.

“… when she continued to refuse and demanded even more sex from him, he fled to the balcony and alerted the police.”

What exactly do you yell in that situation?

The woman “then tried to talk the dispatched officers into similar activity but was unsuccessful.”

Is there a stronger word than “insatiable”?

She is now facing possible charges of sexual assault and illegal restraint.

Yikes.

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It’s truly shocking that these guys were caught, what with such a great plan and all. As reported by the Columbia County, Florida Sheriff’s Office:

Deputy Sheriff Jesse Cieslik and Deputy Sheriff Will Porter were patrolling the area of East Duval Street. They encountered a subject driving a scooter on NE James Ave. The subject (Wayne Rieley) was carrying two truck tool boxes and two ladders. Deputies Cieslik and Porter approached the man on the scooter and discovered a second person (Paul Bullard) walking rapidly away. Both men were stopped for questioning. When the man on the scooter was approached by the Deputies, he threw the items off his scooter and stated that he “did not have anything to do with it”.

You mean with the stuff you just threw off your scooter, right in front of us? Doh!

Deputies determined that both men had stolen the tool boxes and ladders from the Hacker Sign Company on East Baya Ave. Suspect Bullard was recently fired from the Hacker Sign Company and knew where the items were being stored. The owner of the Hacker Sign Company responded to scene and took possession of the stolen property. The stolen items were estimated to be valued at over $500.00. Both suspects were arrested without incident and transported to the Columbia County Detention Facility.

Click here to see the source, including mug shots.

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While many police officers in the United States will arrest you for flipping them off, the courts have consistently held that doing so is protected by the First Amendment. There is nothing offering one such protection in Dubai, as an Iranian woman found out. As reported by gulfnews.com:

A businesswoman was sentenced to a month in jail for flashing her middle finger at two policemen after dining out with friends in a five-star hotel.

They said she had been drinking too. Her defense?

N.I. pleaded innocent claiming that she bit her nails and scratched her finger due to a skin disease that she suffers from when the policemen “confusingly thought she flashed her finger in their face”.

… and

The defendant claimed that she didn’t drink liquor and alleged that the food she had at the hotel was cooked in liquor.

Okay. Your evidence?

Sources close to the case told Gulf News that N.I. provided the court with a medical report confirming that she suffers from psoriasis.

The report said she remains under treatment because she suffers itchiness in her hands and legs.

And the prosecution?

Records said the policemen spotted N.I. jumping into the backseat of a car and flashed her middle finger in their face.

The policemen chased the vehicle that carried the defendant for two kilometres then asked the driver to follow them to the nearest police station.

N.I. was sent for examination. She tested positive for liquor.

Ma’am?

When asked about the findings, she said: “The liquor in my blood must have been there because the food at the hotel was cooked in liquor.”

What’s cooked is her goose. In addition to the 30 days in jail …

The court also fined N.I. Dh3,000 for consuming liquor and she will be deported after serving her term.

You’ll find the source here.

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You’ve probably guessed that this sentence was not doled out in a US court. As reported by
emirates247.com, here’s what happened:

The two Saudi women, aged 33 and 31 years, had decided to go out with their children for a week end night but differed on where to go.

“An argument ensued and the two women decided to split…one of them later sent a text to her friend’s mobile phone swearing at her,” Kabar daily said.

A text?!?! So how did the authorities learn about this crime?

“The other woman went to court and showed the judge the message…although that woman said she was joking, the court ordered her lashed 50 times.”

Thanks, “friend.” If it’s any consolation, there is at least some hope for the texter.

Kabar said the court gave the sentenced woman the right to appeal the verdict.

Here’s the source.

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It will become readily apparent why you would not want this woman to look after your kid, though you might want her in the foxhole with you. As reported by wwl.com (New Orleans):

Investigators say 31-year-old New Orleans resident Brittany G. London (pictured above) is the woman who assaulted a security guard with a stun gun at the Esplanade Mall Saturday night.

According to police, London was in the Gymboree store in the mall with an infant in a stroller. When the guard confronted her after seeing London shoplifting, officials say the woman disabled the guard with a stun gun and fled in a gold Honda Accord, leaving the child behind.

Wo! But before you rush to judgment …

London was not the baby’s mother, and the child’s mother reportedly contacted authorities to get the child back after Child Protective Services took custody.

See, the baby wasn’t hers! So what’s all the fuss about? She was just babysitting. The charges?

London faces charges of Child Desertion, Aggravated Battery and Theft.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. London.

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You might know the rest of the saying (“so shall ye reap”), and so might Pennsylvania dentist Thomas McFarland, Jr., but he paid it no heed. The “sewing” in this case was the dumping of about 300 used needles [and other medical waste] into the ocean, which washed up on the beach in Avalon, New Jersey – where McFarland owns a vacation home!

How did the authorities figure out it was McFarland? As reported in The Press of Atlantic City:

… using identifying codes on the medical debris, [investigators] zeroed in on a small number of dental practices where the debris could have originated… McFarland’s was one of them.

The reaping?

McFarland was charged with two third-degree felonies [unlawful disposal of regulated medical waste and unlawful discharge of a pollutant] that each carries a possible prison term of five years and a total of $125,000 in fines, [State Attorney General Anne] Milgram said.

 

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Bad things, at least in this instance in Brigantine, New Jersey. As reported in The Press of Atlantic City:

… Kevin Dorsey, 36, was visiting his girlfriend’s West Brigantine Avenue apartment and had the .40-caliber handgun out when he somehow shot it into the floor at about 12:40 a.m. It kept going through the ceiling downstairs, then grazed the right arm of a woman who was in the first-floor kitchen.

But that wasn’t the end of it:

“Then it hits a kitchen cabinet, hits the floor, deflects 90 degrees and strikes the refrigerator,” the detective continued. “That changes the trajectory again, and it winds up about 15 feet away, striking the boyfriend – who’s sitting on the couch.”

Freaky. What happened to the shooter?

They charged Dorsey with aggravated assault and several firearms violations, including unlawful possession of hollow-point bullets and illegal possession of a gun by a felon. They tacked on several drug charges because in a long search of the apartment, which the woman finally consented to, they found marijuana, cocaine and other illegal drugs. Police determined that the drugs belonged to Dorsey.

Yikes.

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Lots of people have a cup of coffee before work. Some weed before work? Not so many. Among those who do so indulge, at least on the day in question, is Mr. Brock Hopkins. Based on the title of the post, you can probably see where this is going. Dude gets high. Dude gets mauled by bear. Dude’s employer blames the weed (and also says Dude was a “volunteer” not an employee.)(And yes, The Juice did recently see “The Big Liebowski”). On that last bit, said Mr. Kilpatrick, the owner of Great Bear Adventures [or misadventures] Park, per the AP,

Kilpatrick and the co-defendant in the case, the Uninsured Employers’ Fund, contended that Hopkins should not be eligible for workers’ compensation for those injuries because he was a volunteer acting outside of his duties and was not a paid employee.

Kilpatrick acknowledged giving money to Hopkins but it was given randomly and “out of my heart,” the owner told the court.

Interesting. So what did Judge James Jeremiah Shea of the Montana Workers’ Compensation Court have to say about that?

Shea ruled that Hopkins was a regularly paid employee and Kilpatrick’s claims were not credible.

“There is a term of art used to describe the regular exchange of money for favors — it is called ‘employment,'” the judge wrote.

Snap! What about the weed?

Hopkins acknowledged smoking marijuana before arriving at work that day, the judge said. Hopkins worked on the park’s gate for about two hours, then prepared food for the bears.

Uh-oh.

After he stepped inside the bears’ pen with a bucket of food, one of the grizzly bears attacked him. Hopkins fled, managing to escape by crawling under an electrified fence. He suffered severe injuries to his leg and had to be hospitalized, according to the court.

The weed! The weed! What about the weed?

“I cannot conclude based on the evidence before me that the major contributing cause of the grizzly bear attack was anything other than the grizzly,” the judge wrote. “It is not as if this attack occurred when Hopkins inexplicably wandered into the grizzly pen while searching for the nearest White Castle. Hopkins was attacked while performing a job Kilpatrick had paid him to do — feeding grizzly bears.”

Bam! Eligible for workers’ compensation. Next case!

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You may recall the case involving Nevada Judge George Assad, who jailed a guy’s girlfriend until he showed up in court. Problem was, she hadn’t done anything! (This innocent nurse had just come to court to explain that her boyfriend just started a new job, so he couldn’t make it.)

So, in June 2008, the Judge was ordered to apologize. But he didn’t send the letter to the Judicial Discipline Commission until over a year later – on July 24, 2009! How was it received by the wrongfully imprisoned girlfriend? We may never know! Per The Las Vegas Sun:

[Ms.] Chrzanowski could not be reached for comment, but her lawyer, Cal Potter, said Wednesday that the apology, coming so many years later, is “hollow” and now “meaningless” to his client. He said he hasn’t been able to locate Chrzanowski, who may have left Las Vegas, to send her a copy of the letter.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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The Juice definitely doesn’t – and not just because it would reduce the amount of material out there. Anyway, talk about a harmless prank. And a damn funny one too … Check this out, as reported by khou.com:

What happens when you drop the C and the L from class? You get in trouble, that’s what.

Three Cypress Ridge High School students were suspended and fined $135 each for allegedly pulling a prank in the senior class photo.

Seniors posed for the panoramic photos last month. First, there was a formal picture with students in the front row wearing t-shirts that spelled out “Class of 2010.”

So far, no problem. But then …

The second panoramic was an informal shot. The students were allowed to move around so they rearranged themselves, leaving only “ass” on the front row.

“I heard C and L ran off. That’s not ass’s fault. That’s C and L’s fault, said senior Austin Knight. “It was funny and they shouldn’t have been punished.”

Right on, sir! You have just been awarded “quote of the month” – “That’s not ass’s fault.”

But it was the three students wearing A, S and S that got in trouble. Along with the fine and suspension, they lost their positions as officers for various clubs.

“S” man George Bermudez, who was the senior class secretary, said it was an accident.

Cy-Fair ISD officials didn’t buy that story.

In a statement, the district said: “Three students were disciplined in accordance with the Student Code of Conduct. ”

Uncool. Here’s the source, including the photo.

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