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There are some records you just don’t want to set. It looks like this Iowan may hold this record for a while. As reported by the Iowa City, Iowa Patch:

Justin A. Clark, 24, of North Liberty, was arrested July 29 after North Liberty police received reports of a driver colliding with curbs and attempting to rev up his engine.

Clark was sitting in the driver’s seat and was unable to answer any of the officer’s questions, police said. He also was unable to get out of the vehicle, walk or perform field sobriety tests, police said.

Police said when they asked Clark where he thought he was, he said he was at home, and when they asked him what day it was, he replied, “Three, but now it is four.”

See where this is headed?

Initially, tests showed his blood alcohol level at .486. When tested at the hospital later, Clark’s alcohol content level in his blood was rated at twice the lethal amount of .3, and almost eight times the legal drinking and driving limit. At that time it was .627.

Shazam!

Michael Takacs, clinical assistant professor of emergency medicine and an emergency room doctor at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics, said 0.627 percent is higher than any level he’s seen during his eight years in the field.

“That’s astronomically high, and the highest I’ve ever heard of,” Takacs said. “For even the most seasoned alcoholic, 0.627 would be a lethal dose possibly.”

Officials in several branches of law enforcement, health care and the county prosecutor are among those who say it is the highest blood alcohol level they’ve ever seen.

Like The Juice said, it’s not a record you want to set.

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Being forgetful is not a crime … or, is it? It depends on the nature of the forgetfulness. In this case, it’s a definite “yes.” As reported by tcpalm.com (Florida):

The crying of a 3-year-old boy sitting alone in a store aisle at night finally attracted a clerk’s attention.

Yup.

The toddler was so upset, he could only ask “where was his mommy,” according to a police report. He couldn’t remember his mother’s last name and a call over the store’s public address system drew no response. A search outside the Deal’s Dollar Tree, in the 400 block of Georgia Avenue, also was unsuccessful.

Finally an hour later, at 9:44 p.m. Tuesday, a gold-colored minivan drove up with the mother and grandmother as police were at the store. The mother “seemed confused when approached about the whereabouts of her child,” according to the police report. “She said she thought he was in the vehicle at the time she left the store.

HOW CAN YOU FORGET YOUR CHILD? FOR AN HOUR?

“But [she] couldn’t find him when they got home,” the report states.

BECAUSE YOU LEFT HIM IN THE STORE!

Yet no one called 911, police said, and she allegedly couldn’t explain hourlong absence.

The child was turned over to the grandmother. The mother, Philleana Peak, 30, of 1200 block of Wyoming Drive, Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges of child neglect and possession of marijuana. She was in the St. Lucie County Jail in lieu of a $6,250 bail.

Now it’s starting to make sense. Here’s the source.

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It’s been a long, hot summer. People everywhere are routinely disrobing and … wait, they’re not? As reported by lancasteronline.com:

A naked couple showed up in a hotel lobby in Manheim Township early Sunday.

Huh?

The couple jumped a hotel’s fence to swim in its pool and then showed up in its lobby — clothing-free — looking for snacks, police said.

Now it makes sense?

Manheim Township Police filed open lewdness [retail theft, and defiant trespassing] charges against Joshua D. Wimer, 19, of Colonial Drive, Akron, and Arielle M. Strosser, 19, of Kingsgate Drive, after the incident.

Police said the naked couple tried to take items from a snack area in the lobby of the Fairfield Inn, 250 Granite Run Drive, at about 4:30 a.m., after swimming in the pool there.

A couple 19-year-olds at 4:30 a.m. – now it makes much more sense.

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Even if you thought this would allow you to avoid a DUI, you probably wouldn’t do it … unless, maybe, you were drunk? As reported by kpel965.com (Lafayette, Louisiana):

Police Chief Scott Silverii says 53-year-old Wayne Benoit was pulled over Tuesday afternoon after police saw his truck swerving down the road, at one point almost hitting someone riding a bicycle.

Almost hit a bicycle? Now The Juice is really pissed!

Silverii says Benoit reeked of alcohol, and he failed a sobriety test. Once it became apparent police were going to slap handcuffs on him, that’s when Benoit’s mind went into creative overdrive, Silverii says.

And … “Action!”

“Officers said that Benoit began straining really hard,” Silverii says. “Eventually, the straining gave way to Benoit purposely defecating himself.”

Apparently, Benoit thought he would be released after “his little episode,” Silverii says. But no, police arrested him anyway, and he was booked into the Lafourche Parish Detention Center.

Benoit had a blood alcohol content level of 0.20 percent.

Yikes. Here’s the source, with a mug shot.

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Of all the places to park your car, this is among the worst choice you could make. As reported by NorthCountryNow.com (New York):

A Potsdam man was arrested for driving while drugged early Saturday after state police discovered him allegedly sleeping while behind the wheel.

Francis T. Green, 34, of 81B Pumpkin Hill Rd., Potsdam, was charged with driving while ability impaired by drugs after police found him sleeping in his white 1992 Subaru at the intersection of Birch Street and Keener Road at about 3:45 a.m.

In the intersection!

He was transported to the Potsdam Police Department where he was evaluated by a drug recognition expert and found to be under the influence of drugs, police said. He was then taken to Canton-Potsdam Hospital where he consented to a blood test.

He is to face the charge Aug. 15 in Pierrepont Town Court. Police said they are waiting for the results of the blood test.

You’ll find the source here.

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Why would a German company have a party for its top salesmen in Budapest, Hungary? Could it be because prostitution is legal in Hungary? Hmmm. As reported by the BBC:

Munich Re is the world’s biggest re-insurer – in other words, the company acts as an insurance company for other insurance companies. One of its divisions, Ergo, told the BBC that the party had taken place to reward salesmen in 2007.

The gathering was held at a thermal baths in the Hungarian capital Budapest as a reward to particularly successful salesmen.

Oh, and you might not want to bring your wives …

There were about 100 guests and 20 prostitutes were hired.

A German business newspaper said the prostitutes had worn colour-coded arm-bands designating their availability, and the women had their arms stamped after each service rendered.

Wonder what those stamps look like …

According to [the newspaper] Handelsblatt, quoting an unnamed participant, guests were able to take the women to four-poster beds at the spa “and do whatever they liked”.

“There were also women with white wrist bands. They were reserved for board members and the very best sales reps.”

What did the company have to say about the party?

A spokesman for Ergo told the BBC that the party had happened, but said it was not the usual way of rewarding their employees.

This will not help in recruiting salesmen. Perhaps “no comment” would have been better … Here’s the source.

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Assuming everything this woman says is true, you just have to scratch your head. As reported by www.timesonline (Beaver, Pennsylvania):

The owner of a Moon Township landscaping business has been charged with exposing himself to a female passenger in his car. Moon police have charged 72-year-old Armando Zucchero of 233 Ewings Mill Road, owner of Zucchero Landscaping, by mail with indecent exposure.

So what happened?

The woman said she was walking home to Ridgewood Drive from the Giant Eagle on University Boulevard when Zucchero pulled over near the Sunoco station and offered her a ride. Thinking he was a neighbor of hers, the woman got into the vehicle, police said.

However, even after she realized Zucchero was not the neighbor, the woman was not suspicious because he knew her name and names of her neighbors, she told police. The woman told Zucchero he could drop her off in front of the old Texaco station at University and Moon-Clinton Road, but Zucchero offered to drive her closer to home to Foxwood Road, according to the police report.

A little strange, right?

Zucchero kept driving past Foxwood, however, and as they passed the Appian Way Lounge, she told police, Zucchero exposed himself. She said he then drove all the way to the Dependable Drive-In before turning around and driving back to the Appian Way Lounge, where Zucchero offered to buy her a drink and she accepted, the report said.

Very creepy, and WTF is up with accepting the drink?

Inside the bar, the woman said Zucchero gave her his business card and asked her if she had any friends before offering her $20 and pointing toward his crotch, which she took to mean he wanted sex, the report said.

Even more creepy. So she took off or asked for help, right? Nope.

The woman then said she had to leave and Zucchero again offered a ride, which she accepted.

Oh no you did not just take that ride!

Once in the vehicle, though, the woman said Zucchero again exposed himself, and she jumped out of the moving vehicle and traveled different paths and trails home so he could not follow her, the report said.

So after all that, you decide it’s time to get away while in a moving car? Wow. So how did they identify the suspect?

When giving her description to police, the woman said she believed the man who had exposed himself was her elementary school bus driver sometime around 1986 to 1991 who knew her name even though she had never given it to him.

Based on the business card and description, police on Wednesday contacted Zucchero, who denied knowing the woman, offering her money for sex or ever being a bus driver.

Truly a strange case. It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out.

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Clearly this lady is not cut out to be a school bus driver. Why? Well, as reported by The Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Florida) …

A school bus driver has been fired for defecating on school grounds and encouraging a student to drop his pants and “moon” other students through the bus window.

Maureen Butler, 50, also reportedly admitted to district investigators that high-school students threw condoms and tampons on her bus that were found later by elementary school children.

A fine example for the youngsters. You can read a fair amount more here. And yes, she was fired.

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Have you heard of license plate readers? They are attached to police cars, and automatically run license plates through databases. Wonder if this guy knew about the pervasive use of this technology? He does now. As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Department Blotter:

Officer Podpora was on routine patrol in the parking lot at Walmart. He was driving an unmarked cruiser equipped with the License Plate Reader, which alerted on a stolen vehicle. The vehicle was occupied by one male. The male was in possesion of drug paraphernalia and .7 grams methamphetamine. The vehicle was returned to the owner.The suspect was taken to CJC for Theft by Receiving and the drug charges.

Here’s an example of a license plate reader.