Squeezed on:

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA
This so strange, you probably just assumed it happened in Florida.  Alas, this odd series of events took place in Ireland. As reported by The Irish Times:

A prisoner in Mountjoy Prison was stranded on a roof of the prison campus for nearly seven hours on Tuesday after climbing up the building to retrieve a bag of drugs.

The Irish Prison Service is investigating how the man, who is serving three and half years for producing an article during the course of a dispute, managed to gain access to the roof area of a building in the Mountjoy Prison Campus.

Squeezed on:

bus
There are many times when you just say “yes sir” or “yes ma’am” or, and especially “yes, your honor.” And even if you’re not going to be polite, it’s just not a good idea to go all the way to the other end of the spectrum, as this gent in New Mexico found out. As reported by krqe.com (Albuquerque, New Mexico):

A man already facing an aggravated assault charge for allegedly attacking a bus driver got himself into even more trouble when he tried to talk tough to a judge Saturday.

So what brought this gent to court?

Squeezed on:

earrings
File this under “strange shoplifters.” Why would you steal a fraction of the amount of the merchandise you paid for? You’ll find this woman’s explanation interesting. From the Moultrie News Police Blotter:

A woman went into a local department store and purchased over $700’s worth of items, but not the two pairs of earrings she allegedly unpackaged and shoved in her pocket – valued at $98.

And because of that, she was taken to jail for shoplifting and put on trespass notice.

Squeezed on:

school black blackboard board
It’s just this simple: if you screw up in school, your parents will find out eventually. These boys thought they could avoid that fate. As reported by The New York Post:

Police in Serbia have arrested two schoolboys they accuse of having stormed a Belgrade classroom masked and armed with a plastic pistol and making off with their teacher’s grade book.

Police said in a statement on Wednesday they had apprehended two unidentified seventh-grade pupils and seized a replica handgun, a knife, a balaclava cap and pair of sunglasses after the incident on Tuesday during school hours in the Belgrade suburb of Kotez.

Squeezed on:

internet
Nobody can argue that the internet has dramatically changed the world. Some folks, though, turn to it when they ought to just do things the old-fashioned way. For example, there’s this woman in Santa Fe, Texas, as reported by kwtx.com …

Police in Santa Fe in Southeast Texas say the mother of a 14-year-old boy who was shot in the leg in a videotaped incident didn’t seek help for her injured son for seven hours while researching gunshot wounds online.

Say what?

Squeezed on:

dancer dancing man
You’re thinking this guy must have been drunk or stoned. Apparently not! As reported at myfoxal.com:

Authorities said a man was arrested for dancing on top of a law enforcement SUV because the man said he was dancing to keep vampires away.

Home surveillance video captured the man pulling up in a car behind a Lee County sheriff’s vehicle, getting out, and climbing on top of it to dance.

Squeezed on:

graduation ceremony graduate caps
This is just so petty, and such an incredible waste of everyone’s time. As reported by wreg.com:

“My 18-year-old daughter, Lanarcia Walker, graduated from Senatobia High,” Linda Walker said.

The pomp and circumstance did not last long for some Mississippi families.

Squeezed on:

courthouse court house
It’s a robe, not a cloak of invincibility. This former Judge just learned that retiring got rid of the ethics charges but … as reported by The Daily Report …

A Fulton County grand jury has indicted the former chief judge of the Brunswick Judicial Circuit for making false statements and violating her oath of office as her judicial conduct was investigated nearly four years ago.

Indicted, as in she could face 1-5 years in prison for each count. About the ethics charges …

Squeezed on:

dentist dental mouth
Nobody just walks into a dentist’s office and does this, except this guy. As reported by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

King County prosecutors claim James Pfitzner, Jr., provided his name, date of birth and Social Security number to an office manager at Aurora Dental Care, located in Seattle’s Greenwood neighborhood. Pfitzner, 43, is alleged to have started masturbating moments later.

Describing the May 20 incident, a Seattle Police Department detective said the office manager then shouted at Pfitzner and called 911. Police responded but couldn’t find Pfitzner.

Squeezed on:

chicken chick
Did you have any idea that there are almost 5,000 KFCs in China? Yup, and they are owned by YUM Brands, who takes rumors about their food very seriously. As reported by bbc.com:

The fast food chain KFC is to sue three Chinese firms it accuses of using social media to spread false rumours about its food, including that it used eight-legged chickens.

KFC is seeking compensation of 1.5m yuan ($242,000, £159,000) and an apology.