Legal Juice

Vietnam veteran and court reporter Ronald Tolkin was in the right place at the right time. That place was a courtroom in Brooklyn, New York. Others present: prosecutor Carolyn Pokorny, defendant Victor Wright, Judge Block, and U.S. Marshal Alvarez. As reported by nymag.com, after lunging at Ms. Pokorny with a contraband razor, "[Wright] was tackled first by ... Tolkin, who later reconstructed the incident based on digital recordings. His unofficial transcript, first leaked to AbovetheLaw.com, is excerpted below."

(Time noted: 3:30 p.m.)
(Whereupon Judge Block takes the bench.)
Ms. Pokorny: Hello.
Court Reporter: Good afternoon, Your Honor.
Mr. Rabkin: How are you? How are you, Judge?
The Court: Fine, and you?
…
The Court: Is [defense attorney] Mr. Batchelder here?
Courtroom Deputy Clerk: Yes. He is in with Mr. Wright.
The Court: All right.
(Whereupon Mr. Batchelder, the defendant, and Deputy U.S. Marshal Alvarez and Deputy U.S. Marshal Vavasis enter the courtroom.)
Courtroom Deputy Clerk: Well, Mr. Wright looks better today. He looked like he was depressed and a broken man the last time.
(Whereupon the defendant turns toward Ms. Pokorny and attacks her.) (Whereupon there is screaming.)
Court Reporter: You cocksucker, get off of her. Get off of her. Get off of her. You cocksucker, get off of her.
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Get off of her.
Court Reporter: I will beat the shit out of you, you motherfucker. You cocksucker. Who the fuck do you think you are?
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Get off.
Court Reporter: Try it on me, man. I’ll kick you in the fuckin’ balls.
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Get off her.
The Defendant: I apologize.
Court Reporter: You apologize, you piece of shit.
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Get off of her.
The Defendant: They are choking me.
Court Reporter: You fuckin’ put your hands behind your back, you cocksucker.
…
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Move your hands behind your back. Move them now.
Court Reporter: I got one. I got one hand. I got one. I got one.
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Put your hands behind your back.
Court Reporter: Get the other one. Cuff from the other.
U.S. Marshal Vavasis: You fuckin’ asshole. You motherfucker.
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Leave him there now.
Court Reporter:: You cocksucker.
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Leave him there.
Court Reporter: Fuckin’ shit. Son of a bitch. I’m all right. Where is Carolyn?
Courtroom Deputy Clerk: I told her to leave.
…
Female Court Security Officer: 10-4 control, we need an ambulance. 10-4. In 10-C we need an ambulance to be called, please.
Control: 10-4.
Court Reporter: Is she all right, Carolyn?
Female Court Security Officer: She wants an ambulance.
Court Reporter: Good. All right. You will have to put this over.
Courtroom Deputy Clerk: No shit, Sherlock.
Court Reporter: Yeah.
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: She is feeling okay but she got like some bruises.
Court Reporter: You better get an ambulance.
U.S. Marshal Vavasis: We are just going to take this guy in the back—
Control: 10-4.
Court Reporter: This is going to be put over anyway.
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Yeah, I know.
Court Reporter: It can be put over because we are not doing nothing today. I have it on audio. I have it all on audio. That fuckin’—
(Telephone ringing.)
The Court: The Marshals are here?
Court Reporter: Two Marshals are here. They took him down. They took him down, Judge. Carolyn is going to have an ambulance to go to the hospital.
The Court: What happened to her?
Court Reporter: She got all bruised, Your Honor. She wants to go to the hospital. I guess we are going to put this over?
The Court: Yes, it is going to be put over.
Court Reporter: Yes.
The Court: But why didn’t the Marshals respond? [The panic button] did not work, Mike? I am terribly concerned about this.
Courtroom Deputy Clerk: All right. In the old building we had to press it in.
(Telephone ringing.)
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: Look what I found.
(Whereupon the Marshal picks up a razor blade.)
Court Reporter: What is that, a razor?
U.S. Marshal Alvarez: It is a razor blade. He was going to cut her.
Court Reporter: Great.
...
Court Reporter: Let me turn this off.

Here's the source.

Can you say that on TV in Australia? Hell yes. Chef Gordon Ramsay, of "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" in Australia (and "Hell's Kitchen" in the U.S.) drops some serious f-bombs. Per The Daily Telegraph,

... celebrity chef Ramsay slipp[ed] in the f-word more than 80 times in one episode.

Shazam! Should the government get involved?

[Australian] Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi said the dropping of the "c-bomb" during a recent 9.30pm episode had gone too far.

Do not mess with a man with a bunch of knives, or the network that broadcasts his show.

Channel 9 hit back yesterday, saying 1.5 million viewers would know better than "one person in Parliament" about what they wanted to watch on TV.

So what does Senator Bernardi want? " ... a study of the effectiveness of the broadcasting code of conduct." Good luck with that, considering chef Ramsay's other program "The F-Word," was reviewed by the Australian Office of Film and Literature Classification, and received just an "M" for moderate coarse language. For more, click here.

For those of you in the United States who are worried about the steady erosion of privacy rights (count me in), transplant yourself to the United Kingdom for a moment. As reported in The Guardian, here's a suggestion from Britain's most senior police forensics expert:

Primary school children should be eligible for the DNA database if they exhibit behaviour indicating they may become criminals in later life.

Gary Pugh, director of forensic sciences at Scotland Yard and the new DNA spokesman for the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo), said a debate was needed on how far Britain should go in identifying potential offenders, given that some experts believe it is possible to identify future offending traits in children as young as five.

Five years-old! And if you're thinking that this could never happen, consider this:

Last week it emerged that the number of 10 to 18-year-olds placed on the DNA database after being arrested will have reached around 1.5 million this time next year. Since 2004 police have had the power to take DNA samples from anyone over the age of 10 who is arrested, regardless of whether they are later charged, convicted, or found to be innocent.

So DNA samples of innocent 10-year-olds are alreadly being collected! And when he reads this, I'll bet President Bush (yes - he's a big fan of the Juice - especially the "Get A Life" entries) will be envious beyond words:

Concern over the issue of civil liberties will be further amplified by news yesterday that commuters using Oyster smart cards could have their movements around cities secretly monitored under new counter-terrorism powers being sought by the security services.

Oh, and the Juice is monitoring your activities, too. For example, he knows that, right now, YOU ARE NOT WORKING. GET BACK TO WORK! Here's The Guardian article

.

Yes, "right to dry," not "right to die," though some people may jump off their condo balconies if, heaven forfend, Project Laundry List, and some New England legislators get their wish. What do they want? Per The Boston Globe:

If successful, the measures in Vermont and Connecticut would be the first in New England, and among the first in the country, to protect the age-old custom of air-drying laundry. (The proposal in New Hampshire died in committee, but proponents say they plan to try again next session.)

And why is this a good idea?

"People think it's silly, but what's silly is to worry so much about having to look at your neighbors' undies that you would prevent them from conserving energy," said Vermont state Senator Dick McCormack, a sponsor of "right to dry" legislation. "We're not making a big deal over clotheslines; we're making a big deal over global warming."

Sign me up. This I why I will NEVER live in a condominium, or anywhere with a homeowner's association. Too many friggin' rules. Here is the Rulies [my word - somebody please add to Urban Dictionary and Wikipedia - props to me] argument:

"If you imagine driving into a community where the yards have clothes hanging all over the place, I think the aesthetics, the curb appeal, and probably the home values would be affected by that, because you can't let one homeowner do it and say no to the next," said Frank Rathbun, a spokesman for the Community Associations Institute, a national group based in Virginia that represents thousands of homeowner and condominium associations, many of which restrict clotheslines.

Mercy! Here's to line-drying. And here's the Globe article (with a lot more on this story.)

For real - this defense was really used in court. The charge against Japanese pin-up Serena Kozakura was kicking a hole in a door, and then crawling through it to enter an apartment. She was convicted. On appeal, Serena's lawyer argued that, with a 44-inch chest, she could not possibly have fit through the hole in the door! The Judge agreed, and tossed the case. Said Serena,

“I used to hate my body so much, but it was my breasts that won in court.”

Shazam! Props to wizbangblog and Japundit for finding this story. Click here to see the story as posted on Weird Asia News (including photos and video).

Just ask Vern Potter. Seems old Vern was wanted for insurance fraud relating to a personal injury claim from an automobile accident. Obviously he didn't get enough to retire on, because he took a job with a roofing company. Just recently, he was up on the roof of an elementary school, shoveling snow off, when a photographer from the New Hampshire Union Leader took his picture. Well sir, it made the papers, and was seen by a Corcord, New Hampshire policman, who recognized Vern. So the police went to the school and got their man. (Here's the source.)

Pubes! "According to the [police] complaint, a second kitchen worker told police [the cook] put a slit in the steak and pushed something inside, then stated, "These are my pubes," referring to pubic hair." (The cook said they were facial hairs. Huh?)

Why would a cook do this? He was pissed that the customer said the first steak was "medium," not "rare" per his order. What happened to Ryan Kropp, the cook?

Kropp, 24, of West Bend, was charged Wednesday with a felony of placing foreign objects in edibles, carrying up to 3 1/2 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. He was released on a signature bond.

Damn! A felony? Up to 3 1/2 years? To read more, click here.

Over the 14 years Noel "Nutsy" Campbell and Miss Jasmine were involved (I can't say "together" because at one point, she left him for 4 years!), she left him 13 times. He always took her back. So why did he finally decide he'd had enough? He was tired of the beatings Miss Jasmine inflicted on him, among other things.

She used a machete to beat me all over my body. I ran into my van to get away from her. I managed to get into the van. Nicholas and Noel Jr (his sons) ran me down ... and began beating me in my head. I drive away and left them.

She attacked me with a machete that gave me a cut to my right finger on my right hand. I ran out of the house. I went into the van and was reversing. (She) used a stone to hit out the windshield and she also broke my rear view mirror.

So he went to went to court to get a protective order. The Judge said this was the first time she'd ever seen a man bring a woman before the court for abuse. She also said:

"The court makes a protection order or interim protection order forbidding the respondent from entering or remaining in the (applicant's) residence." The order, among other clauses, forbids Miss Jasmine from entering Nutsy's place of work or education, and from molesting the (applicant) by using abusive language to or behaving towards (the applicant) in any manner which is of such nature and degree as to cause annoyance to or result in ill-treatment of the (applicant)".

Through all of this, Nutsy said he still loves her! Said Nutsy,

... men who are being physically abused by their partners must do the honourable thing and seek legal protection and, if they "can do better, leave the woman, nuh kill har, cause life hard, but it sweet".

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

So the husband, Ravi, wanted an omelette for dinner. And he's not real flexible (at least he wasn't at the time). Wife Kavitha, a school teacher, didn't feel like cooking no stinkin' omelette. After an argument, she began chopping onions for the omelette. After another argument ensued, she took that old knife and planted it right in Ravi's chest. Do NOT mess with Ravi! (And, generally speaking, don't argue with a knife-wielder.) The fuzz took Kavitha away, while neighbors took Ravi to the hospital. Here's the article. (Trust me, my write-up is better.)

Precisely what Illinois attorney Marvin Gerstein should have asked himself. He had helped his union-member client obtain an arbitration hearing with the client's employer, Kraft Foods. Although the union had a lawyer at the arbitration representing the client, Gerstein was there too in a "nonrepresentative capacity." When the arbitrator asked if anyone objected to Gerstein sitting in, Kraft's attorney, Ms. Nimz, said that she did. She stated that the union's agreement with Kraft "provided that employees who filed grievances were to be represented by the union's attorney and did not have an independent right to be represented by private counsel." The arbitrator agreed, and Mr. Gerstein was booted out. Ten days later, he sent Ms. Nimz a letter including the following paragraph:

More importantly, as far as I am concerned, in the twenty-six years that I have practiced law, I have never met, in a limited basis, a more despicable self-made piece of dog shit than you. You are a fucking slime-ball and a fucking slime-bag and I piss on your existence. What I want to tell you specifically is to take this letter and jam it up your asshole, resulting in severe paper cuts. You are a used condom of the highest order.

Ouch! So what did the diciplinary commission do with this? Very little. Mr. Gerstein was censured (the equivalent of "you've been a bad boy"). If you're really, really bored, you can read the opinion by clicking here, entering "Marvin Ira Gerstein" and clicking on entry #7.

(If you have seen this entry before, SORRY! The site gets a lot of new visitors.) The American Bar Association selected Legal Juice as one of the 100 best websites by lawyers, for lawyers (though Legal Juice is really for regular folks, which obviously excludes most lawyers.) If you want to vote for Legal Juice (in other words, PLEASE VOTE FOR LEGAL JUICE), click on the link below, scroll down 7 blawgs, and vote! (The shameless plugging does take its toll. Make my whoring worthwhile.)

If you're a neighbor of 15-year-old Ryan Bowen, you could always move. (One poor family did.) So what do you have to do to get the court to issue an ASBO (Anti-Social Behavior Order) against you? And to take the unusual step of naming you? (The ASBO imposes a curfew, prevents Ryan from associating with certain people, and imposes other restrictions on his behavior.) As reported in The Herald Express, here are some of the allegations the court heard before imposing the ASBO:

Police legal adviser Mr Quinn told the court that Ryan was a 'complete thug - and that's putting it mildly'. He added: "He may not yet be 16 years, but in his short life he has terrorised the people of Teignmouth and the surrounding area. He seems to have no redeeming features.

He targeted vulnerable neighbours, subjecting them to obscene and racial abuse, threatening their children and attacking their cars and homes.

Ryan went to one woman neighbour's workplace and subjected her to an abusive attack there.

Ryan fired a BB gun at people, pushed used condoms through their doors, walked over their cars, and jumped up and down on them.

One family had finally moved because they could no longer take the abuse and intimidation meted out by Ryan and his friends - only to be subjected to more abuse when they ran into the teenager in a Tesco store. "He was not satisfied to drive them out of their home. He still approached them and abused them," said PC Colley.

Ryan would ride a mini motorbike around the area until 11.30pm and midnight - kicking out at parked cars as he went.

Hoochiemama. It's no wonder that "Devon and Cornwall Police's legal adviser Peter Quinn told magistrates ...: 'Police and the authorities have become increasingly aware of what a force for evil this boy is.'" Click here to read the entire Herald Express article.

Straight from the ABA's "Sample Press Release" - "Editors of the ABA Journal today announced they have selected [blawg name] as one of the top 100 best websites by lawyers, for lawyers." If you want to vote for Legal Juice, click on the link below, scroll down 7 blawgs, and vote!

It looks like she made a damn good decision. Mergers and acquisitions lawyer Laura Saperstein (pictured above) was making $200,000 per year in London when she decided to give up the law. (She also owns 12 flats in London, and runs a building business.) The 36 year-old took up boxing only three years ago, and won all of her amateur bouts, including winning the British amateur lightweight championship. She is so dominating that she has yet to be knocked down, or even hurt. So she went pro. Her first fight was November 18th. Think she won? She did. You can read more about her here and here.

The German "Hugh Hefner" is suing a 19-year-old girl for age discrimination BECAUSE SHE WOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM! Read it here.

Due to popular demand (okay, by me), Legal Juice now features an e-mail subscription option. On the home page, on the right, just enter your e-mail address in the "Subscribe by Email" box. You'll then get an e-mail each day with a few sentences about (and a link to) each day's entry.

Submissions! If you have a submission for Legal Juice, please send it to me via the "Suggest A Story" box on the right side of the home page. Let me know if you want props in the post, or if you wish to remain anonymous.

Search! You can, with the "Search This Blog" feature on the right side of the home page.

Enjoy!

As reported in The Huffington Post, Patrick Syring, who "apparently" is a former State Department foreign service officer, really, really dislikes Arabs and the Arab American Institute. (He's been indicted for threatening the staff at the Arab American Institute.) Here are a few voice-mails and e-mails:

[Voice mail to the Institute:] Hello, I'm Patrick I'm in Arlington VA, and I think James Zogby is worse than Osama bin Laden. Since he supports Hezballah, he's an anti-Semitic motherfucker, and the only good Arab is a dead Arab.

[Voice mail to an Institute employee:] Hello Valerie, you fucking Arab American shit. James Zogby and you are all Hezballah supporters. The only good Arab is a dead Arab... You God [inaudible] bitch.

[E-mail to two Institute employees; all e-mails sent to work addresses:] Zogby's anti-Semitic, anti-American statements (and those of the AAI in general) are abhorrent, repulsive and disgusting. The only good Lebanese is a dead Lebanese (as the IDF knows and is carrying out in its security operations, God bless them.) Fuck the Arabs and Fuck James Zogby and his wicked Hizbollah brothers. They will burn in hellfire on this earth and in the hereafter.

Oh, and there's plenty more here.

Due to popular demand (okay, by me), Legal Juice now features an e-mail subscription option. On the home page, on the right, just enter your e-mail address in the "Subscribe by Email" box. You'll then get an e-mail each day with a few sentences about (and a link to) each day's entry.

Submissions! If you have a submission for Legal Juice, please send it to me via the "Suggest A Story" box on the right side of the home page. Let me know if you want props in the post, or if you wish to remain anonymous.

Search! You can, with the "Search This Blog" feature on the right side of the home page.

Enjoy!

Unless you're a shut-in, at some point in your life, you've probably been frustrated over an airport baggage issue. It is unlikely, though, that you reacted as Congressman Bob Filner allegedly did at Dulles Airport a couple days ago. Per the airport police, Filner, an 8-term Congressman who is Chairman of the House Veterans Affairs Committee, allegedly

attempted to enter an area authorized for airline employees only, pushed aside the employee’s outstretched arm and refused to leave the area when asked by an airline employee.

Per United Airlines, the incident took place after Filner "experienced a delay in claiming his bag." Because the employee took his complaint to a Loudoun County Magistrate, Filner must appear in court on October 2, 2007 to answer the assault and battery charges. And what does the Congressman have to say about the matter?

Congressman Bob Filner is on his way to Iraq, visiting our troops, and will have a full statement when he returns. Suffice it to say now, that the story that has appeared in the press is factually incorrect _ and the charges are ridiculous.

I'm guessing that, no matter what happened, nothing will happen. You can read more in Congressional Quarterly here, or The Washington Post here.

Former NFL superstar wide receiver Andre Rison, most recently of the Raiders, is a real "bad boy." Here are some of his off-the-field accomplishments:

He wrote bad checks totaling $167,627.46 to Elif Jewelry in Atlanta for a Rolex watch, diamond jewelry, and a gold necklace.

He owes his ex-wife $236,949.96 in child support (and legal fees).

He owes about $70,000 to three ex-girlfriends with whom he had a child.

In 1994, he must have really pissed off singer Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, because she burned his house down.

Regarding his candor about his assets, check this out. Per ex-girlfriend Raycoa Handley's attorney Randy Kessler: "One time when I was taking his deposition, he said he couldn't even afford a cell phone. But then all of the sudden his pocket started ringing."

And why has all of this come up? Because the Raiders owe Rison $100,000, which they want to pay him, but are reluctant to because of all of his creditors. So they have asked the court to determine how the money should be paid. To read more, click here.

Deborah Rouvalis told the police that her boyfriend, Steven Pagels, got mad at her for leaving pizza crumbs on their motel room bed. (Apparently he would kick her out of bed for eating crackers.