Articles Posted in Yikes

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Even those among you who think that words like “shit”are “bad” words should concede that they are okay to use when they are integral to the story.  Somehow “contents of the septic tank” just doesn’t get the point across like “shit” does. Anyway, as reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

Stanley Lee Dixon, 52, of 5153 Carolina Highway, Denmark, pleaded guilty on Monday to littering over 500 pounds.

Circuit Judge Maite Murphy sentenced Dixon to one year of incarceration at the S.C. Department of Corrections, but reduced it to six months of probation.

Dixon emptied the contents of a septic tank on private property in Orangeburg County on May 31, 2014.

Although he asked the property owner for permission before emptying the septic tank there, the property owner told him not to and he ultimately did it anyway.

Can you imagine the clean up? Here’s the source.

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trail breadcrumbs bread crumbs candy

Okay so it is vandalism, but it barely register’s on the Vandalometer.  How was he caught? The way many “criminals” are caught, of course – by following the trail of penises! As reported by

A 31-year old man from Aalborg was convicted for a fairly bizarre act of vandalism on Tuesday.

On a visit to the local IKEA in Aalborg, the man had taken one of the store’s wooden pencils and proceeded to casually stroll through the warehouse drawing small penises on the walls and pieces of furniture on display.

“He drew up to 30 penises on walls and shelves around the warehouse,” Rikke Poulsen from the North Jutland police told Berlingske News Bureau.

IKEA staff eventually caught up with the vandal who had left a trail of crudely drawn genitalia in his wake and reported him to the police.

Once caught, the man denied that he was responsible for all the drawings, and that his curious crime was inspired by having seen someone else do it first.

“The man has admitted to being behind these drawings, but not as many as 30. He has no prior convictions and he has explained that he did it because he had seen similar drawings in IKEA. He has regretted his actions, but that doesn’t change the fact that he has still committed vandalism,” Poulsen said.

The man received a suspended sentence of 20 days – and presumably a lifetime ban from IKEA.

Here’s the source.

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You know that when you point a gun in the air and shoot, that the slug will land somewhere, right? This is especially true when you fire a gun inside a building. As reported by The Bismarck Tribune:

A Bismarck man is accused of firing a shotgun into the ceiling of his apartment, nearly striking a woman who was lying in bed in the apartment above his.

Jeffery Royce Jr., 34, was charged in South Central District Court in Burleigh County with felony reckless endangerment and could receive up to five years in prison if convicted.

Police were called to a residence at  409 Riverside Park Road at 9:49 p.m. Wednesday after receiving a call about a possible gunshot inside an apartment.

Officers arrived and heard a man, Royce, arguing with a 33-year-old Bismarck woman, Bismarck Police Sgt. Mark Buschena said.

Inside the residence, police found a spent shotgun shell on the floor and a 12-gauge shotgun inside the bedroom, Buschena said. Officers also noticed a hole in the ceiling approximately 1 inch in diameter.

A 55-year-old woman who lives in an apartment above Royce’s said she was lying in bed when a slug shot through her floor just feet from her, landing inside the apartment’s outer wall.

Police arrested Royce and took him to Burleigh County Detention Center.

Missed it by that much. (For the “Get Smart” fans out there.) Here’s the source, which includes the suspect’s photo.

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united nations building

Sir, your library card! Now! [Shredder sound in the background.] As reported by The Plymouth Herald:

Officers were called to the on campus library around 12pm after a 41-year-old man had reportedly exposed himself to a female library user.

A police spokesperson said: “Police received reports a male had indecently exposed himself to a female library user at Plymouth University.

“A 41-year-old man has been arrested and remains in police custody at Charles Cross station.”

According to eye-witnesses, on-site security detained an “older man” who claimed he was “researching about the United Nations (UN) in order to start a blog”.

Speaking to The Herald, one witness said: “I didn’t see the actual incident, but a girl had reported it to staff who alerted security.

“They are currently talking to the man. He’s using a guest pass, so I’m assuming he isn’t a student here.

“He told the security that he was researching the UN because he wants to start a blog.”

Here’s the source.


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Clearly this gentleman is not a regular Juice reader, or he may not have tried this stunt. (The Juice has posted stories similar to this.)  Sure, being drunk impairs your judgment, but to this degree? As reported by Albany Times Union:

Town police said a Saratoga Springs man had his 10-year-old drive his pick-up truck while he was sitting drunk in the passenger seat.

Stillwater police said they were contacted by someone on Saturday who saw a young child driving a truck on Route 9P. The truck pulled over for police, and it was found that a 10-year-old was driving while his father, John H. Barling, 46, was allegedly intoxicated in the passenger seat. The child was picked up by a family member, and Barling was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, and permitting unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, a traffic infraction.

Barling was given an appearance ticket for town court, and Saratoga County Child Protective Services were contacted by police.


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First this man gets shot just for going to church? (So he wasn’t exactly just “going to church.”) Then, he gets busted for being in a Burger King? (So it was a little after closing?) As reported by

A man [who] was shot and wounded by a church pastor last week after allegedly breaking into a Baytown church is now accused of breaking into a Burger King.

Lee Marvin Blue, 27, was shot in the right shoulder and taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital. Police say that after his surgery, Blue walked out of the hospital.

Shortly before 4 a.m. Monday, police were called to the Burger King at 3598 Cleburne concerning a break in. Inside, police say they found Blue, who told officers that he needed to use the restroom so he broke in the door. He also microwaved some hamburgers.

Blue is now in the Harris County Jail on no bond.

At least he won’t get into any more trouble for a while. Here’s the source, with Mr. Blue’s mugshot.

(Don’t you all forget who brings you Legal Juice every day, and has for the past 8 years. (Yes, there are thousands of searchable posts at  The Juice is a personal injury lawyer who represents folks injured in automobile, bicycle and pedestrian accidents in Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia.)


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ice cream truck

Is it just me, or does it seem like there are a lot of strange ice cream truck driver stories? Here’s another one, as reported by

Last Friday night may have seemed like the prime time for dessert, but those who frequented an ice cream truck in Clarence [New York] met a rude surprise.

Officials say the driver of the truck acted belligerently by yelling at kids, but that wasn’t all parents had to complain about. Police say the driver drove while wearing nothing but his underwear.

Erie County Sheriff’s Deputies who responded to the complaint Friday arrested 24-year-old East Amherst native Ryan Duff. They say following investigation, they realized he was driving high on drugs through the Emily Court neighborhood.

While in police custody, officers say he refused to cooperate with testing, and a drug recognition expert made the final determination that he was under the influence. .

Police charged Duff with DWI-drugs and others charges, then released him to a sober driver.

He’s scheduled to return to Clarence Town Court on Aug. 25.

Yikes. You’ll find the source here.

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Driving on the interstate can get pretty boring. Not this day. As reported by

A Massachusetts woman was arrested Friday evening after she allegedly “mooned” several drivers on Interstate 93.

Bow police Sgt. William Graham was driving a marked police cruiser northbound on the interstate at approximately 7:35 p.m., when he reported that his attention was drawn to a female passenger in the car in front of him.

The female, later identified as Stephanie K. Sherburne, 22, of Billerica, Mass., was standing in a crouching fashion on the passenger’s side front seat of the car, with her backside to the open passenger’s window. She then, allegedly, lowered her pants and exposed her genitals.

Since it was the weekend of the NASCAR race in Loudon, traffic was heavy there were several cars in the vicinity when Sherburne exposed herself, Graham reported.

The police sergeant stopped the vehicle Sherburne was riding in and arrested her on a charge of indecent exposure and lewdness. She was released on personal recognizance bail to appear on Sept. 4, in Concord District Court.

Here’s the source, which includes Ms. Sherburne’s mug shot.


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shoplifters shoplifting shoplift

Maybe this guy’s intentions were good, or maybe he saw what he thought was an opportunity to shoot his gun. Regardless, he is now officially in the soup.  As reported by (Louisville, Kentucky):

It happened in the parking lot of the Kmart on Outer Loop, near New Cut Road, just before 8 p.m. Thursday.

According to an arrest report, police were called to the area after someone reported a shooting. When they arrived, they met with 24-year-old Robert J. Jones, the man police say fired the gun.

Jones allegedly told the officers that an unidentified white man who was carrying merchandise used an emergency exit to get out of the store. Suspecting the man was a shoplifter, Jones said he confronted him from his truck, demanding a receipt.

You’re seriously going to make a citizen’s arrest over a potential shoplifting? Just get the license plate and give it to the cops!  But no ….

Jones told police that the man got into a van and “appeared to reach for a gun,” according to the arrest report. Jones further told police that he did pull a gun.

At that point, police say Jones told them he got out of his truck, shoved a loaded magazine into his own gun and chambered a round. He then allegedly fired two or three rounds at the white male because he, “looked like he was trying to squeeze off a round.”

Jones told officers the man drove his van northbound on New Cut Road — and that the van should have two bullet holes in the hood.

Hmm. “Appeared to reach for a gun.”  Any witnesses?

A witness at the scene told police that he never saw a gun in the unidentified white male’s vehicle — and that the man in the van was trying to get away from Jones, who was shooting at him.

Officers were able to locate the man in the van, who allegedly told them that, “he had to make an evasive maneuver in his vehicle and drive behind the building because the gun was pointed directly towards him facing New Cut Road,” adding that he was, “in extreme fear for his life at the time.”

You in trouble now.

The officer who wrote the report stated that since Jones had enough time to load and chamber a round before firing, and that he fired as the vehicle was leaving, that his actions, “manifested an extreme indifference to the value of human life,” and that, “the action may have ended in serious injury or death to the vic[tim] and anyone else in the parking lot.”

Police say they found three .40 caliber shell casings at the scene, and recovered a .40 caliber handgun from Jones.

Jones was arrested and charged with one count of first degree wanton endangerment.

Bet he keeps it holstered next time. Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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rock paper scissors

Who would think of “rock, paper, scissors” as a gambling game? A Seattle man did (it’s unlikely he will again, at least for a while), and was looking for takers. He found one, and it didn’t end well. As reported by

King County prosecutors claim Michael Langley stabbed at another man after his friend lost a $1 bet on a street corner rock-paper-scissors match. Langley, 36, has been charged with second-degree assault in the June 29 incident.

Prior to the incident, the alleged victim had been soliciting rock-paper-scissors opponents near the intersection of Broadway and East Pike Street in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood.

A friend of Langley apparently took the gambler up on a game shortly after 3:20 a.m., and lost his dollar. While Langley’s friend was sanguine after the loss, police say Langley saw red.

“I’m going to stab you in the (expletive) neck,” Langley told the other man after demanding a refund for his friend, according to charging papers.

Langley then pulled a folding knife and lashed out, slashing inched from the other man’s body and slicing his “rock-paper-scissors for a dollar” sign, a Seattle Police Department detective said in charging papers. The alleged victim gave the other man back his dollar and fled.

According to charging papers, Langley was still near the QFC grocery store at the corner when the alleged victim returned moments later. He identified Langley as his assailant to police at the scene.

Police arrested Langley inside the QFC. According to charging papers, Langley was carrying a knife matching the description given by the victim.

Questioned by police, Langley claimed he threatened to burn the other man’s sign but denied stabbing at him, the detective said in court papers. Langely is alleged to have stuffed two bottles of wine into his pants during his visit to the QFC.

Langley has been jailed since the incident on $80,000 bail. He has not yet entered an initial plea.

Wow. That’s a lot of jack. Here’s the source.


Posted in: Yikes
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