Articles Posted in Yikes

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baby boy

… a turkey baster. This is a good example of why you put things in writing. People rarely think things will go wrong, especially when dealing with friends. But making babies is serious stuff, and should be treated accordingly as the mother in this case now appreciates. As reported by Virginia Lawyers Weekly (via ap):

A woman who used a turkey baster to impregnate herself is on the losing side of a legal battle over parental rights.

You really can’t make these cases up. If you tried, people would say “That’s absurd! That would never happen!”

The Virginia Court of Appeals ruled Tuesday that the child’s biological father is more than a sperm donor and is entitled to be a part of his son’s life.

The case hinged on an informal agreement between two longtime friends: a woman who wanted to get pregnant and a man willing to supply the sperm to make it happen. According to court filings, Joyce Rosemary Bruce impregnated herself with a turkey baster, believing that Robert Preston Boardwine would not have any parental rights — including a say in the boy’s education and other decisions — because they did not have intercourse.

Said the court: “The path to fatherhood may have been unconventional,” … but it doesn’t remove Boardwine’s parental rights.

Bruce could appeal to the Supreme Court of Virginia . Neither her attorney nor Boardwine’s returned telephone messages seeking comment.

Here’s the back story:

The appeals court’s narrative recounts a woman’s quest for single motherhood, the crumbling of a friendship and a man’s persistence in seeking involvement in his child’s upbringing. It also shows what can happen when two people, even trusting friends, do business without putting it in writing.

It began with Bruce’s desire to have a child to raise on her own. She turned to her friend Boardwine, who agreed after some trepidation to provide the sperm. They discussed a written contract but never signed one.

Boardwine would stop by Bruce’s home and give her a plastic container of his sperm.

“Bruce used an ordinary turkey baster to inseminate herself,” the court said. “No other person was involved. They did not go to a doctor’s office or to a medical facility.”

It didn’t work. Bruce turned to a fertility doctor, and two inseminations with sperm from anonymous donors also failed.

So it was back to Boardwine and the turkey baster. After several visits from Boardwine in June 2010, Bruce learned the next month that she was pregnant.

Everything went well for a while, with Boardwine visiting and bringing a stuffed bear and baby clothes. But their expectations for the future were different. Bruce testified in the lower court that she wanted Boardwine to be only as involved as her other friends. He envisioned a more active role — attendance at the boy’s sporting events someday, and a voice in major decisions.

The relationship soured when Bruce rejected Boardwine’s suggested name for the child. They didn’t speak for about five months, until the boy was born and Boardwine showed up at the hospital. Later visits to Bruce’s home were “sort of strained,” the woman said, and she eventually told Boardwine to stay away.

When that happens, there’s really only one avenue of recourse.

That’s when the father went to court.

Bruce argued that Boardwine had no rights because, under the state’s assisted conception law, he was merely a sperm donor. But the law defines assisted conception as a pregnancy resulting from “medical technology,” and that definition doomed her argument.

“The plain meaning of the term ‘medical technology’ does not encompass a kitchen implement such as a turkey baster,” Judge Stephen R. McCullough wrote for the appeals court.

How bizarre is it that the gent’s claim hinges on whether a pregnancy resulting from a turkey baster is one that resulted from “medical techonology”? Here’s the source.

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knife

Missy, I am crossing you off my list of babysitters! What did this woman do to deserve such a fate? Plenty, as reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News.

A Crestview woman is accused of picking up a knife and ordering a child she was babysitting to “go outside,” leaving the child afraid and crying.

The child, whose age is not reported, walked .5 miles to a friend’s house, crying and upset, on March 31, according to the arrest report. Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies were called around 5 p.m. by the friend’s mother.

Investigation found that 37-year-old Alicia Erin Rivera was babysitting the child when she got upset because he wouldn’t obey her and he “intentionally broke a light bulb,” the report said. Rivera told him “several times” to go outside and play, but the child refused and “began cursing” at Rivera.

She grabbed a knife with a six inch blade and told him, while holding the knife, that “he needed to go outside,” according to the report. She allegedly said she picked up the knife to scare the child into going outside.

He got scared and began crying before leaving the residence to walk to his friend’s house, the report said. Other children in the home reported seeing Rivera “display the knife towards” the child and “tell him to ‘get out’ of the residence.”

Yikes! So what is Ms. Rivera looking at?

She is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill and child abuse without great bodily harm.

Here’s the source, which includes a mug shot.

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palm tree

A cautionary tale: If anyone offers you flakka, DON’T TAKE IT! As reported by clickorlando.com:

A Florida man believed to be high on flakka, a drug that authorities say is sweeping the state, attacked a Brevard police officer after twice being shocked with a Taser while he repeatedly saying he was God, according to officials.

Kenneth Crowder, 41, of Melbourne, was arrested Friday on charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer.

According to a Melbourne police report, Crowder was spotted by witnesses running naked through a Melbourne neighborhood, yelling that he was a god before committing a sexual act on a tree.

You’ll find the source, including a mug shot, here. 

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barbecue sauce

Normally when a woman finds her husband appetizing, that would be a good thing, right? Not this time! Per The Palm Beach Post:

City police say a woman poured barbecue sauce on her husband and went after him with a knife in each hand Tuesday, according to an arrest report made public Wednesday.

Viven Palmer, 30, faces charges of battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer. She was released late Tuesday from the Palm Beach County Jail on $5,000 bail.

On Tuesday morning, police were called to the 1300 block of West 37th Street, south of Silver Beach Road near Avenue O, where a 30-year-old man was waving and yelling from his front door, “Help, police!”

Officers say they heard a woman, later identified as Palmer, yelling from the home, but when she came outside, she refused to speak with them. Instead, she just put items into a parked car outside the home. Police noted to children, ages 4 and 9, were seen in a car, according to the report.

Though she refused to speak with police and told them to leave her home, her husband said the two were arguing about getting a divorce. He said things turned violent and his wife came after him, damaging property along the way. Police noted the home appeared to be ransacked in their report.

He said his wife ripped off his shirt, poured barbecue sauce on him and hit him. When he fought back, he realized she had grabbed butcher knives from the kitchen, so he ran outside.

Yikes! You’ll find the source, including Ms. Palmer’s mug shot, here.

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broken heart

Why do ex-lovers so often go after their replacements?  How does the ex escape blame? As reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina)

Police are looking for a woman accused of breaking out a window in a car owned by her ex-boyfriend’s lover, according to a report.

A Laquinta Drive woman notified deputies about 5:20 a.m. Monday that she had had some unwanted visitors earlier. She said a vehicle drove into her yard and three females got out. She said one of the women began striking her car window with a tire jack.

Deputies found traces of what looked like blood on the front steps of the residence and a tire jack in the yard.

The woman said her assailant was angry with her because her ex-boyfriend was inside the Laquinta Drive home.

Go figure. Here’s the source.

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gun

Seriously, it’s a dispute over one spot in a line, and you’re going to brandish a gun? You’re a cop! As reported at fusion.net:

A 911 recording has captured a Tennessee sergeant losing it over a RedBox movie rental.

In the call, obtained by the Knoxville News Sentinel, Sgt. Paul Story, an off-duty Knox County Sheriff’s Office employee, can be heard yelling and threatening a man, Timothy Nelson, after Nelson claimed the sergeant was cutting him in line. According to the KCSO’s own report, the newspaper said, Story was brandishing his gun during the heated exchange.

“You’re a bitch. You threatened me in front of my son,” Story is heard saying. He requested an on-duty officer come to the RedBox, and then called 911 on Nelson, creating the audio that we hear.

“I ain’t done nothing to you. … Are you going to arrest me over a Redbox rental?” Nelson asked.

“Yeah, you did, shit,” Story yelled. “Now that you find out I’m a police officer, you want to back up.”

“Why are you doing this?” asked Nelson.

“Because you’re a bitch,” Story said. “You think you’re somebody. You’re not… Just shut the hell up. I’m done talking to you. I want someone else to come out here and talk to your dumb ass. I’m going to put you in jail is what I’m going to do.”

“For what?” Nelson asked.

Story responded: “For assault, dumb ass. I worked all damn night. So what? You should have got out and stood in line like me. You should’ve waited in line.”

Nelson threatened to file a $25,000 lawsuit concerning the incident, but the department agreed to pay a settlement of $2,500. Story was never officially investigated for the incident, since an official complaint was never submitted. No disciplinary action has been taken.

Yikes. You’ll find the source here.

(Legal Juice is brought to you by Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia personal injury attorney Legal Juice!)

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police car cop

Regular Juice readers would not be surprised to hear about someone hiding drugs in a body cavity. However, the circumstances of this perp’s secreting of the drugs are a bit unusual. As reported by northjersey.com;

Borough police who stopped a man and his pregnant passenger on a minor motor-vehicle violation Friday suspected there were drugs in their car.

But they didn’t find anything until they viewed videotape taken by a surveillance camera which caught the woman in the back seat of the police cruiser shoving what turned out to be 89 bags of heroin into a body cavity, police said.

In the cop car, and she almost got away with it!  Here’s the source.

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Is it worse to burgle your family or strangers? That’s for you to decide. But this particular theft was particularly uncool (and gross) regardless.  As reported by kmov.com (St. Louis, Missouri):

The victim of a burglary says her father’s ashes were stolen and that two relatives and a third man are to blame after they thought they were stealing cocaine.

“I just couldn’t believe that they would take the ashes,” said Debora Matthews, the victim of the robbery. “But you know, they were kids and I guess just stupid.”

Ma’am, there’s no need to guess about that one.

Matthews says Devin Gesell and two minors rummaged through her home in St. Peters, stealing several items in addition to the ashes. She also says she believes the minors are two of her father’s grandchildren.

“I’m very upset because of the minors. I mean [they] were his grandsons,” Matthews said. “They did that to their grandfather. They didn’t even realize it was their grandfather’s ashes.”

But the did realize it eventually. How? Well …

She says the three thought the ashes stored in a container was cocaine, but after they tasted it, they realized what they had really stolen. However, instead of bring it back, they scattered the ashes all over the highway as they fled.

St. Peter’s police arrested Gesell and the minors. Gesell is now facing possible burglary and theft charges.

They tasted their grandfather’s ashes! You’ll find the source, and a video of the story, here.

(This post, and the thousands of others on LegalJuice.com, are brought to you by Washington, DC, Maryland & Virginia automobile, bicycle, and pedestrian accident attorney John Mesirow.)

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restroom bathroom

Nobody likes it when the moment passes. (If you don’t get this reference, you missed a hilarious Seinfeld episode.) Nevertheless, some discretion is called for, especially if you are in a federal building!  As reported by journalstar.com:

An Illinois man who used indoor potted plants as toilets was sent to jail for five days.

The Omaha Police Department says officers responded to a report of a 32-year-old man defecating on a potted plant in the waiting room area of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services building in Omaha. A building supervisor says he then urinated on another plant.

The man pleaded guilty to indecent exposure and received a five-day jail sentence Tuesday in lieu of paying a fine.

Police say the man explained his actions by saying, “Sometimes you have to let the bear outside the woods.”

Here’s the source.