Articles Posted in Uncool

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Even those among you who think that words like “shit”are “bad” words should concede that they are okay to use when they are integral to the story.  Somehow “contents of the septic tank” just doesn’t get the point across like “shit” does. Anyway, as reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

Stanley Lee Dixon, 52, of 5153 Carolina Highway, Denmark, pleaded guilty on Monday to littering over 500 pounds.

Circuit Judge Maite Murphy sentenced Dixon to one year of incarceration at the S.C. Department of Corrections, but reduced it to six months of probation.

Dixon emptied the contents of a septic tank on private property in Orangeburg County on May 31, 2014.

Although he asked the property owner for permission before emptying the septic tank there, the property owner told him not to and he ultimately did it anyway.

Can you imagine the clean up? Here’s the source.

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bicycle sign image

As a daily bicycle commuter, it pains The Juice to speak (ahem, “allege”) ill of a fellow traveler. Alas, it is not looking good for this gent, as reported by NJ Advance Media for

Jose Angel Perez-Luna, 31, Tannersville, Pa., was arrested early Sunday morning near the Holland Tunnel after a Port Authority police officer spotted a Citi Bike in the open bed of his pickup truck, police spokesman Joe Pentangelo said. At roughly 3 a.m., Perez-Luna had passed Lt. Joseph Macaluso and abruptly stopped at a red light at 14th Street and Jersey Avenue, Pentangelo said.

After noticing the Citi Bike, Macaluso stopped Perez-Luna, who explained that he stole the bike from Manhattan to commute to his job. The bike is valued at $1,000. Perez-Luna was also driving with a suspended license and had previously been cited in Virginia for unlicensed driving, Pentagelo said.

He was arrested and charged with receiving stolen property, driving while suspended, driving without a license and careless driving. He was also cited for failing to move over for a marked police officer, since he drove too close to Macaluso while the officer was stopped for an unrelated traffic matter.

Next time, how about Craigslist? Here’s the source.

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united nations building

Sir, your library card! Now! [Shredder sound in the background.] As reported by The Plymouth Herald:

Officers were called to the on campus library around 12pm after a 41-year-old man had reportedly exposed himself to a female library user.

A police spokesperson said: “Police received reports a male had indecently exposed himself to a female library user at Plymouth University.

“A 41-year-old man has been arrested and remains in police custody at Charles Cross station.”

According to eye-witnesses, on-site security detained an “older man” who claimed he was “researching about the United Nations (UN) in order to start a blog”.

Speaking to The Herald, one witness said: “I didn’t see the actual incident, but a girl had reported it to staff who alerted security.

“They are currently talking to the man. He’s using a guest pass, so I’m assuming he isn’t a student here.

“He told the security that he was researching the UN because he wants to start a blog.”

Here’s the source.


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phone smartphone cell

If this is the way he treats his own cousin, strangers beware.  As reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter:

84th Precinct – Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Two louts robbed a man outside a Smith Street convenience store on Aug. 15, and fled in a getaway car driven by the victim’s cousin, cops say.

The victim told police that as he was exiting the store near Warren Street around 10 pm, two men approached him, one with something that looked like a gun under his clothes.

The victim surrendered his phone to the miscreants, only to see the pair flee in a blue Jeep driven by his own cousin, according to a report.

Um, sorry cuz? On a positive note, the police have a line on at least one of the suspects!

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beer bottles open case lots many

In Germany, wasting 1,200 bottles of beer has got to be a felony. Why would anyone do that? You won’t guess, so I’ll tell you, via

Thieves who broke into a shop in Muelheim, Germany, opened 1,200 bottles of Koenig Pilsener beer — but left the otherwise untouched containers stacked neatly in their crates and the amber brew inside to spoil.

Investigators were initially surprised to find that all of the opened bottles were of the same brand.

But they now believe the thieves were trying to win prizes offered through a brewery promotion.

The bottle caps had tokens printed on them — with some entitling the holder to tools and speakers.

Many of the caps weren’t winners and the thieves left bits of the metal strewn across the shop’s floor.

Marc Baron, a Koenig Brewery spokesman, said he found it “quite incredible” the someone would go to all such lengths to steal bottle caps.

“We have no way to track where the bottle caps were sold or in this case stolen, but we will now watch for someone who sends in an unusually high number of caps,” he said.

Why are you telling these miscreants how not to get caught? If they were going to send in a bunch of caps, they certainly won’t now! Here’s the source, including a photo of the “victims”.

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boy child car playing

Clearly this gentleman is not a regular Juice reader, or he may not have tried this stunt. (The Juice has posted stories similar to this.)  Sure, being drunk impairs your judgment, but to this degree? As reported by Albany Times Union:

Town police said a Saratoga Springs man had his 10-year-old drive his pick-up truck while he was sitting drunk in the passenger seat.

Stillwater police said they were contacted by someone on Saturday who saw a young child driving a truck on Route 9P. The truck pulled over for police, and it was found that a 10-year-old was driving while his father, John H. Barling, 46, was allegedly intoxicated in the passenger seat. The child was picked up by a family member, and Barling was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, and permitting unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, a traffic infraction.

Barling was given an appearance ticket for town court, and Saratoga County Child Protective Services were contacted by police.


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Sure thing dude. My house is your house! No, the homeowner wouldn’t have said that, because she had no idea who the guy was! As reported by The Salina Journal (

A burglar apparently got a case of the munchies after breaking into a house in the 700 block of North Seventh Street on Tuesday afternoon, and — possibly even more bizarre — he argued with the occupant and refused to leave once she returned home.

Capt. Mike Sweeney said Luella Garrett, 52, returned to her home about 3:10 p.m. to find a stranger sitting on her couch. She called 911 to report the incident, telling the dispatcher that the man refused to leave, Sweeney said.

Sweeney said officers responding to the call found empty boxes of Cap’n Crunch cereal and Crunch ‘n Munch popcorn in the kitchen trash can. Also, a Brillo pad was missing, and two betta fish were found dead in the bottom of an empty fish tank.

Maurice Scott, 30, who was still at the house when officers arrived, initially gave police a false name. He was arrested on charges of aggravated burglary, interference with a law enforcement officer, theft, animal cruelty and damage to property.

Sweeney said Scott allegedly went to the front door of the house but discovered it was locked. He allegedly took off his shoes and opened a window so he could climb inside. A bedroom door was broken open, causing $50 in damage.

The cereal, popcorn, fish and Brillo pad were valued at a total of $27.

The fish? Man, that’s just mean! (Stole that from Lee Marvin in “Payback.”) Here’s the source.

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emergency 911

While everyone knows 911 is only for emergencies, not everyone respects this fact.  As reported by The Indiana Gazette:

State police said Travis J. Turner, 26, will be charged with obstructing emergency services in connection with an incident Sunday that occupied EMS responders while there was a real medical call elsewhere.

Turner was charged with similar crimes in December 2014 when first responders told state police that Turner had fled the scene after placing an emergency call, causing the Citizens’ Ambulance crew to spend time looking for him. The charges were later withdrawn.

Troopers said Turner placed a 911 call at 1:49 p.m. Sunday saying he was having chest pains and difficulty breathing at his residence along Oakland Avenue. Medics were dispatched from Citizens’ Ambulance, but when they arrived, they found Turner was not having medical issues, but merely wanted the medics to help him fix his air conditioning.

Meanwhile, police said, a legitimate medical call came in from Fortune Buffet at 475 South Ben Franklin Road, White Township, and Turner’s call “endangered the welfare of a true medical patient.”

Turner has placed 63 calls to the 911 center and state police barracks over the past three years for minor and harassing complaints “where no legitimate emergency existed,” police said.

63 calls in 3 years! Seriously, how is this guy not in jail, or at least doing a LOT of community service? Click here for the source.

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Close up of a mobile phone with a touch screen. Focus is on the phone with small DOF.


Court after court has held that you can f-bomb the police.  Depending on the situation, it may be totally disrespectful and rude, or it may be justified and appropriate. Regardless, it is constitutionally protected.  Of course, that doesn’t mean the police can’t charge you, or that a state court can’t convict you, but you will eventually be vindicated.

So this gent, Mr. Buehler, was recording a proceeding in court. The judge was not pleased, although it appears Mr. Buehler was legally permitted to record. A kerfuffle ensued, and just when you thought it might be over …  As reported by PINAC (

As [Gonzalez Police Captain Gayle] Autry turned around to return to the courthouse, a sarcastic “have a nice day” was exchanged between the cop and one of Buehler’s associates.
Buehler then told him to “go fuck yourself” as he was walking away, prompting Autry to turn around, pull out the handcuffs and arrest Buehler for disorderly conduct, even though numerous court decisions have ruled that using profanity against a cop is protected by the First Amendment.

Judge Voigt later denied Buehler’s motion to recuse herself from presiding over the subsequent trial given her involvement leading up to his arrest.

Buehler defended himself in court on June 5, 2013 and was found guilty after a 7-hour trial presided by the biased Judge Voigt.

He immediately appealed the decision and was granted a new trial with a new judge, who hopefully understands Constitutional law better than Voigt.

You can read a ton more here.

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The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer, so he’s not going to weigh in on all these charges, other than to wonder “Does she need to kill someone before she gets a serious sentence? Fifth DUI?”  As reported by The Independent Record (Helena, Montana):

On Wednesday at 11:55 p.m., an officer was conducting preventative patrol in the area of N. Last Chance and Cruse Ave. The officer observed a vehicle run the red light at this intersection. The officer conducted a traffic stop and initiated a DUI investigation. The driver, Tennille Lomahukluh, 35, was placed under arrest. Lomahukluh was transported and booked into the LCSO Jail on suspicion of the following charges: Felony DUI (fifth offense), driving while driving status is revoked, no insurance, red light violation, probation violation.

It’s probably not going out on a limb to suggest that she’s likely to be in a cell for a while.

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