Articles Posted in Uncategorized

Squeezed on:

junk salvage yard

Too many laws are justified, at least in part, on the grounds of promoting the morals of us citizens. Here’s a Minnesota law you can add to that list:


For the purpose of promoting the health, safety, morals, and general welfare of its residents, any county in the state may regulate the activities of secondhand and junk dealers.

How could a secondhand store or a junk dealer or a secondhand store ever be immoral? Anyone? Here’s a link to the statute.

second hand shop


Squeezed on:


What, like you never egged anybody or a house? As reported by The Beacon-News:

Written Naperville police reports indicated [Sabrina] Touchstone was arrested about 3:45 p.m. Thursday following an altercation in the parking lot of the Walmart , 776 S. Route 59.

Hmm. An altercation you say.

Sgt. Steve Schindlbeck said Touchstone’s arrest was “the result of a driving altercation” over whether she or another motorist had the right of way in one of the parking lot’s aisles.

Matters quickly “came to a head” when Touchstone allegedly “threw two, 18-count containers of eggs” at two women ages 53 and 20 and the vehicle in which they were traveling, Schindlbeck said. Several of the eggs struck and shattered against the vehicle, and at least one hit one of the women, Schindlbeck said. She was not physically hurt.

Damn! 36 eggs? That must have taken a while.

Schindlbeck said he did not know whether the woman and the woman she was with were related to one another. He also did not know if Touchstone had just purchased the eggs at Walmart.

An examination of court documents revealed Touchstone has received at least 12 traffic tickets in DuPage, Kane and Will counties, but has no criminal record.

Police ticketed Touchstone on a charge of disorderly conduct/offensive act. She is free on bond, and her preliminary appearance date in DuPage County Circuit Court in Wheaton is pending.

You’ll find the source, with a photo of Ms. Touchstone, here.



Squeezed on:

ski mask robber burglar rob

Here’s a question for all you criminals out there, and anyone else with a modicum of common sense, or anyone who has ever watched TV (so, basically everyone): If you’re committing a crime, what’s a good way to hide your identity? You will never guess the method employed by these three fellas. As reported by, in the 68th Precinct (Bay Ridge—Dyker Heights):

Three thugs holding their hands over their faces jumped a woman on 63rd Street on Sept. 24, police state.

Your hands? First of all, your hands? Second, that leaves you with just 3 hands total to commit the crime. Third, doesn’t that make it hard to see what you’re doing? Brilliant!

The victim reported she was walking between Eighth and Ninth avenues at 12:30 am when a silver minivan pulled up alongside her. The trio of fiends jumped out, hiding their identities behind their palms.

The threesome threw the woman to the ground, and took her iPhone and $1,000 in cash. The crooks dropped the money a few feet away, but held onto the phone.

Yeah, who needs cash any way. You got an iPhone! Go figure, because The Juice can’t.

Squeezed on:

cucumber cucumbers

Exactly how did this burglar get busted by a cucumber? Here’s how, as reported by The Hull Daily Mail:

A dozy burglar was caught by police after having a bite out of a cucumber.

Got it yet?

Billy Donnelly, from Bransholme, Hull was caught after leaving DNA at the scene on a cucumber he had taken a bite from.

Doh! Curse you DNA! Even the Judge noted the unusual nature of this case.

The honorary Recorder of Hull and the East Riding, Judge Michael Mettyear, declared in disbelief: “He was caught by a cucumber.”

You can read a lot more about the case and see Mr. Donnelly’s mug shot here.


Squeezed on:


How crazy is this guy? Or, wow, I didn’t know copper prices were that high! As reported by The Salisbury Post (North Carolina):

A thief pulled a fast one on the Department of Corrections Sunday night after police said someone broke into a minimum-security prison, stole copper and escaped.

Ouch. That’s embarrassing.

Authorities believe someone climbed a fence at 3750 South Main Street at the Piedmont Correctional Institution and “dismantled an A/C unit and stole the copper out of it,” the incident report said.

This raises the question: “Is there a category below ‘minimum-security’ for prisons?”

Salisbury Police are investigating the incident, Capt. Shelia Lingle said, but no one has been arrested.


Squeezed on:


You’re Benjamin J. Marchant, and you’re just sitting in a courtroom in Dickson County, Tennessee. You haven’t done anything, other than give a ride to a friend who does have some business before the court. And what did Judge Durwood G. Moore do to Mr. Marchant? From a decision by the Tennessee Court of the Judiciary:

While he sat in your court you observed him and ordered your bailiff or police officers in the courtroom to take Mr. Marchant into custody and to administer a drug test on his person. Mr. Marchant was neither a litigant, a defendant or a person who had business before the Court and was a citizen observer. Mr. Marchant at your direction was seized by police officials and required to provide a urine sample which was drug tested. When the drug test was revealed to be negative Mr. Marchant was released. The ordering of the seizure of Mr. Marchant and this testing were illegal and neither statutory nor constitutional basis existed for your conduct.

What the hell was he thinking? The judges in charge of the disciplinary process were pissed. They hammered Judge Moore for violating a slew of Mr. Marchant’s rights. But was he booted from the bench?

This public censure represents the highest degree of judicial discipline authorized by law short of the Court seeking a judgment recommending your removal as a judge from office. In the future you are to accord all citizens who appear in your court their constitutional rights and they shall not be seized on your suspicion for unauthorized drug tests. Each individual who appears before you shall be afforded their due process rights and shall be properly charged and noticed before any adverse action is taken against them.

Oh, and he also got censured, the same day, for something else! How many public censures equal a removal in Tennessee? More than two …

Squeezed on:

Or else another blawg will win :( … Anyway … for the second straight year, the ABA (American Bar Association) Journal selected Legal Juice as one of the 100 best legal blogs (from a pool of 2,000+). Yada, yada, yada.


Squeezed on:

For the second straight year, the ABA (American Bar Association) Journal selected Legal Juice as one of the 100 best legal blogs (from a pool of 2,000+). It is one of ten in the “Quirky” category.

From the ABA’s announcement of the top 100: “Half the blogs on last year’s inaugural Blawg 100 list didn’t make the cut this year. That’s a testament to the quality of this year’s honorees, and evidence of the increasing amount of valuable information all legal blogs are publishing.” [Valuable information on Legal Juice? Really?]