Articles Posted in Odd Cases

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heaven stairway

Forget about the other circumstances surrounding this man’s detention. It must have been obvious to the officers that something was amiss when the man said he was told to leave heaven. As reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

A 53-year-old Cordova man was taken into custody and transported to the Regional Medical Center just before 3 a.m. Thursday after he was seen running completely naked down Cannon Bridge Road.

The man told a deputy that he had gone to heaven and was hearing people tell him to go back.

He also stated that he’d disobeyed his mother and would not do it again, that he’d jumped a fence and just started running.

The man remained calm throughout the incident. No charges were filed.

It would appear that the gent caught a break from Johnny Law.

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This so strange, you probably just assumed it happened in Florida.  Alas, this odd series of events took place in Ireland. As reported by The Irish Times:

A prisoner in Mountjoy Prison was stranded on a roof of the prison campus for nearly seven hours on Tuesday after climbing up the building to retrieve a bag of drugs.

The Irish Prison Service is investigating how the man, who is serving three and half years for producing an article during the course of a dispute, managed to gain access to the roof area of a building in the Mountjoy Prison Campus.

The man climbed the building to retrieve a package of drugs which was caught in the netting over the prison’s exercise yard but was unable to get back down.

A spokesman for the Irish Prison Service confirmed there was no risk that the inmate could have gained access to the perimeter of the prison as the building in question is located in an internal yard on the campus.

Nice plan. And if you’re thinking “Hmm, a man alone on a roof for seven hours with his drugs …”

The man, who was removed from the roof at around 8pm on Tuesday, is believed to have been heavily under the influence of drugs having consumed all of the contents of the package.

You were apparently correct! Any more time for that?

The prisoner will be subject to internal disciplinary procedures. An investigation has been launched to try to ascertain how the man accessed the roof and who was responsible for throwing the drugs in from outside the prison walls.

Maybe not. Who knows what “internal disciplinary procedures” means. Click here for the source.

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earrings

File this under “strange shoplifters.” Why would you steal a fraction of the amount of the merchandise you paid for? You’ll find this woman’s explanation interesting. From the Moultrie News Police Blotter:

A woman went into a local department store and purchased over $700’s worth of items, but not the two pairs of earrings she allegedly unpackaged and shoved in her pocket – valued at $98.

And because of that, she was taken to jail for shoplifting and put on trespass notice.

According to the loss prevention officer, he witnessed her actions and stopped her at the exit.

When asked about the earrings, she said she forgot about them, according to the report.

And she kept to that story even when being questioned by the police officer.

She could not, however, explain why she had unwrapped them and discarded the packaging. She just said she forgot.

You forgot! That’s the best you’ve got? Might as well have gone with “How did THAT get there?” Someone must have …

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dentist dental mouth

Nobody just walks into a dentist’s office and does this, except this guy. As reported by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

King County prosecutors claim James Pfitzner, Jr., provided his name, date of birth and Social Security number to an office manager at Aurora Dental Care, located in Seattle’s Greenwood neighborhood. Pfitzner, 43, is alleged to have started masturbating moments later.

Describing the May 20 incident, a Seattle Police Department detective said the office manager then shouted at Pfitzner and called 911. Police responded but couldn’t find Pfitzner.

The office manager identified Pfitzner after reviewing a photo montage, according to charging papers. She later recalled that Pfitzner helped her pronounce his last name while checking in.

Pfitzner, who appears to have been living in a Seattle homeless shelter, was arrested the day after the incident and has been jailed since.

Pfitzner has been charged with felony indecent exposure. He was convicted on two misdemeanor counts of the same crime in December after pleading guilty.

Yikes. Sounds like he needs some help, not jail time. Here’s the source.

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car wash

Driving around the fountain in your car- that’s hilarious! No, not really. As reported by bt.com:

A cheeky driver thought he’d found a free car wash in the shape of Wakefield’s Bullring fountain – until the police noticed the brazen bather and gave chase.

The video shows the moment a motorist is chased by police after he took his car for a wash – in a fountain.

The incredible footage captures the driver of the silver Vauxhall Insignia spinning round under the jets of the famous Bullring fountain in Wakefield, West Yorkshire.  
As a police car approaches, the car wash cheapskate makes a crawling getaway as the plodding panda car makes after him.

Incredulous onlookers start shouting “nick him” as the police car appears on the scene, cheering as the cop car enters the Bullring.

Here’s the source, including a video of the “action.”

 

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telephone phone wall rotary dial

Even the best phone scams succeed just a fraction of the time, but that provides a good living for too many people.  What about a scam that has virtually no chance of succeeding? Here’s just such a scam, as reported in The Brooklyn Paper’s Police Blotter:

90th Precinct – Southside–Williamsburg

A manipulative thief tried to get a woman to hand over a large sum of cash by telling her in a phone call to her Keap Street home on May 10 that they had kidnapped her son and were removing his fingers.

Even if you think it’s a scam, the caller now has your attention because you’re not sure.

The victim told police that she received the call in her apartment between S. Third and S. Fourth streets at 12:30 pm from a man who demanded that she send $1,000 to keep her son alive.

“We have your son,” the man on the phone said. “If you don’t give us $1,000, we are going to kill him.”

Someone else came on the phone and said that they were cutting the son’s fingers off and then another voice screamed.

Then they told the woman to go to Western Union branch and wire them the $1,000.

Now that’s enough to motivate any parent to take action. Of course, you always ask to talk to the victim, or for “proof of life” right? Or you can do what this woman did:

The victim instead called her son, who told her that he was at work and still had all his fingers.

Doh!

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fight fighters fighting

Any dispute that goes on for more than thirty years must have earth-shattering ramifications, no? No. Just money, and horsies. As reported by The Brandon Sun:

A federal appeals court says the United States Polo Association cannot be held in contempt for selling sunglasses with a logo that resembles Polo Ralph Lauren’s famous trademark of a horseman whacking a ball.

The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Manhattan issued its written ruling Wednesday. The decision reversed a finding of contempt by a lower court judge.

The dispute between the polo sports governing body and Polo Ralph Lauren has gone on for more than three decades.

The appeals court says the Polo Association sold nearly a million pairs of sunglasses bearing the double horseman trademark from 2009 to 2012.

Here’s the source.

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You’re trying to sleep, and there’s a loud party [that they didn’t invite you to!], or your neighbor is playing loud music, or [fill in the blank] is keeping you awake. You’re mad. You rarely get justice. You’ll probably like this one, as reported by NorthCountryNow.com (Potsdam, New York):

A Parishville man was charged with unnecessary noise for yelling unreasonably loud early Wednesday morning, according to Potsdam police.

Nicholas J. Avery, 23, was issued an appearance ticket at 12:28 a.m. for the above charge after officers observed him yelling on the corner of Raymond and Market streets, police said.

He is to appear in Potsdam court May 22 at 9:30 a.m., officers said.

Just standing on the corner yelling? Here’s the source.

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help

Who would have thought anything of importance would happen because of an online comment? Well, it did! As reported by arstechnica.com (from a Highlands County Sheriff’s Office press release):

A Florida woman used the comments section of a Pizza Hut order made from her smartphone on Monday afternoon to alert authorities that she and her children were being held hostage. When police responded to her message, arriving at the location, she and her children were quickly released, unharmed, and the kidnapper was arrested.

According to a Highlands County Sheriff’s Office press release, Cheryl Treadway, a woman from Avon Park, about 85 miles southeast of Tampa, had been arguing most of the day with her boyfriend, Ethan Nickerson, who carried “a large knife.”

Well done madam! Here’s a link to the article, and a link to the press release.

(Psst! Legal Juice is brought you by, well, The Juice, who is a personal injury lawyer practicing in Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia. He will not be quitting his day job, which includes handling bicycle, pedestrian, and automobile accidents, to bring you more Juice.)

 

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baby boy

… a turkey baster. This is a good example of why you put things in writing. People rarely think things will go wrong, especially when dealing with friends. But making babies is serious stuff, and should be treated accordingly as the mother in this case now appreciates. As reported by Virginia Lawyers Weekly (via ap):

A woman who used a turkey baster to impregnate herself is on the losing side of a legal battle over parental rights.

You really can’t make these cases up. If you tried, people would say “That’s absurd! That would never happen!”

The Virginia Court of Appeals ruled Tuesday that the child’s biological father is more than a sperm donor and is entitled to be a part of his son’s life.

The case hinged on an informal agreement between two longtime friends: a woman who wanted to get pregnant and a man willing to supply the sperm to make it happen. According to court filings, Joyce Rosemary Bruce impregnated herself with a turkey baster, believing that Robert Preston Boardwine would not have any parental rights — including a say in the boy’s education and other decisions — because they did not have intercourse.

Said the court: “The path to fatherhood may have been unconventional,” … but it doesn’t remove Boardwine’s parental rights.

Bruce could appeal to the Supreme Court of Virginia . Neither her attorney nor Boardwine’s returned telephone messages seeking comment.

Here’s the back story:

The appeals court’s narrative recounts a woman’s quest for single motherhood, the crumbling of a friendship and a man’s persistence in seeking involvement in his child’s upbringing. It also shows what can happen when two people, even trusting friends, do business without putting it in writing.

It began with Bruce’s desire to have a child to raise on her own. She turned to her friend Boardwine, who agreed after some trepidation to provide the sperm. They discussed a written contract but never signed one.

Boardwine would stop by Bruce’s home and give her a plastic container of his sperm.

“Bruce used an ordinary turkey baster to inseminate herself,” the court said. “No other person was involved. They did not go to a doctor’s office or to a medical facility.”

It didn’t work. Bruce turned to a fertility doctor, and two inseminations with sperm from anonymous donors also failed.

So it was back to Boardwine and the turkey baster. After several visits from Boardwine in June 2010, Bruce learned the next month that she was pregnant.

Everything went well for a while, with Boardwine visiting and bringing a stuffed bear and baby clothes. But their expectations for the future were different. Bruce testified in the lower court that she wanted Boardwine to be only as involved as her other friends. He envisioned a more active role — attendance at the boy’s sporting events someday, and a voice in major decisions.

The relationship soured when Bruce rejected Boardwine’s suggested name for the child. They didn’t speak for about five months, until the boy was born and Boardwine showed up at the hospital. Later visits to Bruce’s home were “sort of strained,” the woman said, and she eventually told Boardwine to stay away.

When that happens, there’s really only one avenue of recourse.

That’s when the father went to court.

Bruce argued that Boardwine had no rights because, under the state’s assisted conception law, he was merely a sperm donor. But the law defines assisted conception as a pregnancy resulting from “medical technology,” and that definition doomed her argument.

“The plain meaning of the term ‘medical technology’ does not encompass a kitchen implement such as a turkey baster,” Judge Stephen R. McCullough wrote for the appeals court.

How bizarre is it that the gent’s claim hinges on whether a pregnancy resulting from a turkey baster is one that resulted from “medical techonology”? Here’s the source.