Articles Posted in Odd Cases

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baby boy

… a turkey baster. This is a good example of why you put things in writing. People rarely think things will go wrong, especially when dealing with friends. But making babies is serious stuff, and should be treated accordingly as the mother in this case now appreciates. As reported by Virginia Lawyers Weekly (via ap):

A woman who used a turkey baster to impregnate herself is on the losing side of a legal battle over parental rights.

You really can’t make these cases up. If you tried, people would say “That’s absurd! That would never happen!”

The Virginia Court of Appeals ruled Tuesday that the child’s biological father is more than a sperm donor and is entitled to be a part of his son’s life.

The case hinged on an informal agreement between two longtime friends: a woman who wanted to get pregnant and a man willing to supply the sperm to make it happen. According to court filings, Joyce Rosemary Bruce impregnated herself with a turkey baster, believing that Robert Preston Boardwine would not have any parental rights — including a say in the boy’s education and other decisions — because they did not have intercourse.

Said the court: “The path to fatherhood may have been unconventional,” … but it doesn’t remove Boardwine’s parental rights.

Bruce could appeal to the Supreme Court of Virginia . Neither her attorney nor Boardwine’s returned telephone messages seeking comment.

Here’s the back story:

The appeals court’s narrative recounts a woman’s quest for single motherhood, the crumbling of a friendship and a man’s persistence in seeking involvement in his child’s upbringing. It also shows what can happen when two people, even trusting friends, do business without putting it in writing.

It began with Bruce’s desire to have a child to raise on her own. She turned to her friend Boardwine, who agreed after some trepidation to provide the sperm. They discussed a written contract but never signed one.

Boardwine would stop by Bruce’s home and give her a plastic container of his sperm.

“Bruce used an ordinary turkey baster to inseminate herself,” the court said. “No other person was involved. They did not go to a doctor’s office or to a medical facility.”

It didn’t work. Bruce turned to a fertility doctor, and two inseminations with sperm from anonymous donors also failed.

So it was back to Boardwine and the turkey baster. After several visits from Boardwine in June 2010, Bruce learned the next month that she was pregnant.

Everything went well for a while, with Boardwine visiting and bringing a stuffed bear and baby clothes. But their expectations for the future were different. Bruce testified in the lower court that she wanted Boardwine to be only as involved as her other friends. He envisioned a more active role — attendance at the boy’s sporting events someday, and a voice in major decisions.

The relationship soured when Bruce rejected Boardwine’s suggested name for the child. They didn’t speak for about five months, until the boy was born and Boardwine showed up at the hospital. Later visits to Bruce’s home were “sort of strained,” the woman said, and she eventually told Boardwine to stay away.

When that happens, there’s really only one avenue of recourse.

That’s when the father went to court.

Bruce argued that Boardwine had no rights because, under the state’s assisted conception law, he was merely a sperm donor. But the law defines assisted conception as a pregnancy resulting from “medical technology,” and that definition doomed her argument.

“The plain meaning of the term ‘medical technology’ does not encompass a kitchen implement such as a turkey baster,” Judge Stephen R. McCullough wrote for the appeals court.

How bizarre is it that the gent’s claim hinges on whether a pregnancy resulting from a turkey baster is one that resulted from “medical techonology”? Here’s the source.

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monkey

Tarzan was raised by apes, and looked how well he turned out! Case closed! Maybe, but not so fast. As reported by The Grand Island Indepedent (Nebraska):

A situation in which two monkeys were playing with a baby, as shown in a Facebook video, does not violate state standards for child neglect or abuse, said Sgt. James Laudenklos of the Merrick County Sheriff’s Department.

The video was shot in a Merrick County home not far from Grand Island. After seeing the video on Facebook, someone reported it to the state Department of Health and Human Services, concerned about the safety of the child.

Laudenklos, who spoke to the people involved, said the situation does not meet the criteria for neglect or abuse.

Because the child does not live with the owners of the monkeys, it appears to be a one-time incident, he said. The owners of the monkeys have been advised not to let the monkeys play with the child, he said.

The Department of Health Human Services will not pursue the matter, Laudenklos said.

You’ll find the source here.

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dollar bill paper money

Unless you just don’t follow the news at all, you know about the gent who landed his gyrocopter on the lawn next to the US Capitol. He got that far because he flew under the radar. These two gents also must have been trying to fly under the radar by counterfeiting such a small bill. Otherwise, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Hell, it doesn’t make much sense regardless! As reported by tcpalm.com:

Two Broward County men have been accused of passing counterfeit money at local stores Friday afternoon, said Martin Sheriff’s spokeswoman Christine Christofek.  The men used up to 40 counterfeit $1 bills at Publix in the 2700 block of Southwest Martin Downs Boulevard in Palm City, Christofek said.

Michael Rice, 30, of Fort Lauderdale, is accused of using 14 $1 bills with identical serial numbers inside Publix.  Jacques Michel Desire Jr., 28, of Tamarac, is accused of using 21 $1 bills identical serial numbers at the Publix, reports show.

When deputies arrived Rice, 30, was taken into custody at 2:47 p.m. Friday, reports show. Desire took off running but was found several hours later in a wooded area on Basko Lane in Palm City.The men were each booked on $10,000 bond at the Martin County Jail.

Seriously? Go big, or just don’t go. Click here for the source.

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bicycycle tire tires wheel wheels

You may think you have a good hiding place, but that’s just visually. That won’t stop it from smelling. Just ask these two cyclists. Per The Tucson Sentinel:

Two Douglas-area teens were taken into custody Friday when Customs and Border Protection officers at the Douglas Port of Entry discovered seven pounds of marijuana hidden in their bicycle tires.

Officers arrested a 17-year old boy and girl when a drug dog led officers to inspect the tires of each bike. They discovered 3.5 pounds of marijuana hidden in the tires of each bike, worth an estimated $3,400 overall, a press release from the agency said.

Officers seized the drugs and bicycles, and referred the teens to Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s Homeland Security Investigations.

Curse you doggie! Here’s the source, which includes a photo of the pot-filled tire.

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palm tree

A cautionary tale: If anyone offers you flakka, DON’T TAKE IT! As reported by clickorlando.com:

A Florida man believed to be high on flakka, a drug that authorities say is sweeping the state, attacked a Brevard police officer after twice being shocked with a Taser while he repeatedly saying he was God, according to officials.

Kenneth Crowder, 41, of Melbourne, was arrested Friday on charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer.

According to a Melbourne police report, Crowder was spotted by witnesses running naked through a Melbourne neighborhood, yelling that he was a god before committing a sexual act on a tree.

You’ll find the source, including a mug shot, here. 

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You can’t make this stuff up. As reported by Counter Current News, and found at MintPressNews.com:

His story quickly went viral after a rural Oregon man was slapped with fines for collecting rain water on his own property. But now, as of last Wednesday, Gary Harrington of Eagle Point, has been sentenced to 30 days in jail and more than $1,500 in fines, all because he had three reservoirs on his own property, that he used to collect and use rainwater.

Harrington says he plans to appeal the conviction in the Jackson County Circuit Court. That conviction revolved around nine misdemeanor charges that come from a 1925 law. That archaic ordinance bans what state water managers called “illegal reservoirs.”

You can read A LOT MORE about this interesting case (well, not “interesting” to Mr. Harrington) here.

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barbecue sauce

Normally when a woman finds her husband appetizing, that would be a good thing, right? Not this time! Per The Palm Beach Post:

City police say a woman poured barbecue sauce on her husband and went after him with a knife in each hand Tuesday, according to an arrest report made public Wednesday.

Viven Palmer, 30, faces charges of battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer. She was released late Tuesday from the Palm Beach County Jail on $5,000 bail.

On Tuesday morning, police were called to the 1300 block of West 37th Street, south of Silver Beach Road near Avenue O, where a 30-year-old man was waving and yelling from his front door, “Help, police!”

Officers say they heard a woman, later identified as Palmer, yelling from the home, but when she came outside, she refused to speak with them. Instead, she just put items into a parked car outside the home. Police noted to children, ages 4 and 9, were seen in a car, according to the report.

Though she refused to speak with police and told them to leave her home, her husband said the two were arguing about getting a divorce. He said things turned violent and his wife came after him, damaging property along the way. Police noted the home appeared to be ransacked in their report.

He said his wife ripped off his shirt, poured barbecue sauce on him and hit him. When he fought back, he realized she had grabbed butcher knives from the kitchen, so he ran outside.

Yikes! You’ll find the source, including Ms. Palmer’s mug shot, here.

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law books lawyer treatise legal research

Law school is really expensive, and it takes three years. So how can you avoid it, and still be a lawyer? Well, just say you are a lawyer. That’s what this woman did, apparently quite well, as reported by newser.com:

A woman used forged documents to pose as an estate lawyer for a decade and made partner at her small firm before her fraud was discovered, according to charges announced yesterday. Kimberly Kitchen was charged Thursday with forgery, unauthorized practice of law, and felony records tampering. State prosecutors contend Kitchen fooled BMZ Law by forging a law license, bar exam results, an email showing she attended Duquesne University law school, and a check for a state attorney registration fee. The firm is based in Huntingdon, about 110 miles east of Pittsburgh. Kitchen, of nearby James Creek, handled estate planning for more than 30 clients “despite never having attended law school,” the attorney general’s office says.

She even served as president of her county bar, says her lawyer, who adds that “she’s an incredibly competent person, and she worked very diligently and was devoted to the people she served. There are things about the charges we don’t agree with.” But the Huntington County Bar Association’s current president called the charges insufficient given “the level of betrayal” over 10 years. Local lawyers were the first to raise questions about Kitchen’s credentials; in December, when the Huntingdon Daily News first reported on the case, the firm vowed to review her work. Kitchen, 45, was previously employed at Juniata College, where she worked in fundraising but “started holding herself out to be a lawyer,” says a senior deputy attorney. She’s married to a state conservation ranger and is no longer working, her lawyer says.

Shazam! Looks like those 30+ clients will be getting some free estate planning – from an actual lawyer. Here’s the source. 

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lab laboratory

Yes, they did find it in a Walmart bathroom. What was it? Well, per fox59.com:

According to a Walmart spokesperson, an associate noticed a man walking through the store with a backpack just before 11:30 p.m. at the Walmart in the 1500 block of E. 29th St . The associate recognized the man, and said he had been in the store a number of times before to buy stuff related to making meth. The associate notified police who were already at Walmart. Police followed the man, and he went into the bathroom. A short time later, the man came out of the bathroom without the backpack.

Members of the Pendleton District Meth Suppression Team were called to the Walmart to investigate the suspicious backpack left in the restroom. When troopers arrived, they discovered the backpack had an active meth lab inside.

Alrighty then. Here’s the source.

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neighbors neighborhood

Aspen, Colorado is not a place you would normally find this kind of bizarre conduct.  No place, though, is immune from Juiecworthy behavior. As reported by The Aspen Daily News:

An Aspen Village man faces multiple felonies after he allegedly went into his neighbor’s home twice, poured out liquor bottles, threw away food and moved the man’s truck into his own driveway.

William Hallisey, 58, is charged with felony counts of burglary, robbery, criminal trespass, aggravated motor vehicle theft and two misdemeanors.

Say what? It’s even weirder than it seems, with Mr. Hallisey referring to himself as “the prophet.” You can read a fair amount more here.