Articles Posted in Just Weird

Squeezed on:

magic%20spell.jpg

So the police will investigate you if your husband merely claims you are using black magic? Apparently so, at least if you live in Kuwait. As reported by the Arab Times:

A Kuwaiti man has filed a complaint with the Adan Police Station accusing his ex-wife of doing black magic. He claims the magic harmed him and his two daughters, reports Al-Rai daily.
 According to the man the woman planted some magic charms in his home to promote hatred between him and his daughters.
 He also said because of the magic he and his daughters are suffering from dermal disease. The suspect will be summoned for interrogation.

Hmm. Perhaps your daughters don’t like you because you’re a yutz? And maybe your daughters have “dermal disease” because they are teenagers? Just sayin’ …

Squeezed on:

Captain%20Morgan%20Rum.jpg

You get the idea. This guy was hellbent on getting him some Captain Morgan. Could he have been so focused on the task at hand that he forgot to get dressed? Perhaps, although it’s more likely that he was just already plastered. Anyway, as reported by The Naples Daily News (naplesnews.com):

The [14-year-old] girl told Lee County sheriff’s deputies she was at her home in the 6700 block of Magnolia Lane, Fort Myers, when she heard someone in the kitchen.

According to Lee arrest reports, she left her bedroom, went to the kitchen, and found 47-year-old Kennan Kluesener of Eustis naked and bent over in the pantry taking a bottle of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum.

Scary right?

Terrified, she ran back to her room where she heard him use the telephone before leaving the house.

The girl’s father told deputies he was doing yard work out back when his daughter informed him there was someone in the house. Reports say the father found Kluesener naked in his front yard. A neighbor was inside his home when his dogs began barking.

By and chance did that neighbor have a gun?

According to reports, the neighbor saw Kluesener in the front yard and retrieved his gun. Once outside, he saw Kluesener naked in the neighbor’s front yard and detained him at gunpoint until deputies arrived.

The charges?

Kluesener is facing charges of burglary of an occupied dwelling and petit theft.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

money%20bag%20dollar%20sign.jpg

It’s good when high school students do odd jobs to earn a little extra money, right? This story might make you change your mind, or at least ask what the “jobs” are. As reported by ktla.com:

Charles Hersel was arrested in 2009 during a sting operation at a Thousand Oaks mall.

Westlake High School students said Hersel paid them to yell profanities, spit and slap his face, according to officials.

Several students also said he offered them cash to urinate and defecate on him, Ventura County sheriff’s detectives said.

It was a “sting” so …

Hersel was charged with four counts of annoying and molesting a child.

Mr. Hersel fought the charges. His defense?

During the trial Hersel’s lawyer, Ron Bamieh, admitted the 41-year old paid more than a dozen teenagers to do those acts, but said the acts were not for sexual gratification.

What did the jury think?

Last week, jurors acquitted Hersel of all charges.

Had he lost?

He was facing a year in jail and would have been required to register as a sex offender.

Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

bottle%20rocket.png

Yeah, firing a bottle rocket out of your butt is never a good idea. And it’s even worse if it fails to launch! From the recently filed West Virginia case of Helmburg v. The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity and Travis Hughes:

Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated … and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot a bottle rocket out of his anus on the ATO deck …

Plaintiff and his girlfriend were also present on the ATO deck.

Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rock blew up in Defendant’s rectum, and this startled plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent to the deck.

So, you might be wondering, what legal duties does the plaintiff allege were breached by ATO?

ATO owed plaintiff a duty … to supervise its guests and its own fraternity members, such as Defendant Hughes, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one’s own anus.

What about Mr. Hughes?

Defendant Hughes also owed plaintiff and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to file bottle rockets out of his anus.

And here’s a count for both defendants:

Plaintiff asserts that the activity of underage drinking and firing bottle rockets out of one’s own anus constitutes an “ultra-hazardous” activity which exposes both of these defendants to strict liability.

A painful night, all around.

Squeezed on:

mcnuggets.jpg

What would you do for some nuggies? Definitely not what a California woman was willing to do, as reported by whptv.com.

Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles was seen opening customers’ car doors in the McDonald’s drive through at 1700 block of Olive Avenue about 11 p.m. Wednesday, according to the Burbank Leader. Baseer was allegedly offering to swap sexual favors for the fast food item.

A witness reported her bizarre behavior to the authorities. Baseer was arrested on suspicion of prostitution.

Yikes.

Squeezed on:

protest%20sign.jpg

Let’s just hope that this was the culmination of a series of unsuccessful attempts to get the local government’s attention on some issue. Why? Because if this was the opening salvo, yikes! As reported by The Burlington Free Press:

Witnesses said they saw a middle-aged woman with short blond hair bring the bloody, dripping raccoon up the steps and angrily whack it against the white double doors on the east side of the building, smearing the doors with blood.

Yikes.

Police said the woman is white, with blond hair and was wearing a green winter hat, a tan coat and blue jeans on Nov. 17 when the incident occurred.

Here’s the source, including a picture of the woman provided by the Burlington Police.

Squeezed on:

bad%20breath%20halitosis%20stinks%20smells.jpg

It’s not hyberbole to say that this is almost certainly the strangest ticket ever issued. The offense? As reported by Al-Anba Daily:

In the first incident of its kind, a traffic policeman [in Kuwait City] issued a citation against an Arab motorist for having bad breath. 
A police source said it is a very strange incident and problematic too because the penalty is not known. “Will the motorist be fined; if so, how much will he have to pay and if his car is impounded, how long will it be in the police garage?” he asked. 
Incidentally, it is also mentioned on the citation that the motorist admitted that his mouth smells.

Squeezed on:

gun%20handgun.jpg

Surely she didn’t mean she literally had a gun there… But, after Ms. Patterson was arrested in Orlando, Florida, when the police asked her if she had any weapons or drugs on her person, here’s what she is reported to have said:

“I have a gun in my vagina, you fucking idiot!” [expletive reinserted]

As to how this came to pass, per wftv.com:

A woman called 911 Tuesday night from outside of a nightclub in an attempt to locate her keys. Kelly Patterson was told to leave Pulse nightclub (see map) and given a trespass warning by an employee.

Patterson, officers say, began to shout obscene comments and make gestures towards the employees. She was told a second time to leave the parking lot, but police said she replied by saying. “Fuck you, I need to get my keys from my friend.” [expletive reinserted]

Perhaps this wasn’t the best approach. Nevertheless, the police still tried to assist her.

An officer on scene told Patterson he would help her get her keys, but her friends told the officer they did not have her keys. Investigators said she was given four chances to leave property and was told she would be arrested.

It was then that she called 911, shopping for a more sympathetic cop. Not a good idea.

Patterson refused [to leave the property] and called 911, telling the operator that the officer would not give Patterson her keys and to please send out someone to help her. Patterson was arrested and, when asked if she had any weapons or drugs on her person, police said she replied, “I have a gun in my …

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–

Squeezed on:

What’s up with the whole paddling thing? It makes about as much sense as any other hazing ritual. (“Thank you sir may I have another?”). Why all the “paddle” talk? A paddler from across the pond is in the soup because of his paddling ways. As reported by kotatv.com:

Police spokesperson, Tarah Heupel said Tuesday that 54-year-old [United Kingdom resident] David Spencer offered to sell the clerk a paddle on Saturday. When she turned him down, he told her she could spank him six times for one dollar. Finally, she allowed him to spank her once so he would leave her business but then he spanked her a second time without her permission.

Just couldn’t walk away David. Bad move. Why?

When she [the clerk] saw him again Monday, she alerted mall security.

Spencer told police he was trying to sell the paddles to keep traveling in the United States.

Good luck with that, especially trying to do it from a padded cell.

[Mr. Spencer] was arrested in Rapid City Monday for swatting a mall clerk on the buttocks with a paddle.

You’ll find the source here.

Squeezed on:

skin%20decal%20naked%20nude%20woman%20sihouette.jpg

Honestly, sir, get a life. Don’t look at it. Move to the mountains. Read the Constitution. But please, don’t waste anyone’s time with your complaints about this decal!!!!! As reported by Great Falls Tribune (Montana):

Brian Smith is tired of coming home from work to see what he calls pornography [see above] staring him in the face from across the alley.

Smith, who lives on the 1600 block of 1st Avenue North, said the problem began when he noticed a large decal on the back window of a car in the parking lot of Quality Life Concepts. The decal is a white silhouette of a naked woman.

“To me, this has crossed the line,” he said.

What does the decal’s owner think?

Offensive or not, Shanna Weaver, who owns the car and decal in question, said it’s her right to display the picture.

“It’s my freedom of speech, which he can’t take away,” Weaver said. “It’s no different than the mud flaps that you see on trucks.”

What do you have to say to that, sir [other than that you want all those mud flaps on trucks across the country removed]?

Smith feels differently. There are certain parts of the body in that silhouette that neither he nor his wife, Louise, like to look at when they pull into their garage directly across from Quality of Life Concepts, where Weaver works — and parks.

“My upbringing dictates that the human body is a sacred thing, not something that should be put on display,” Smith said.

Perhaps your upbringing would have been aided with a dose of tolerance. With such disparate views on the subject, could they work this out?

Smith and Weaver confirmed in separate interviews that Smith talked to Weaver about the decal, telling her that he didn’t like looking at it and asking if she could back her car into her parking spot or park it somewhere else where the decal didn’t face his house. Weaver initially agreed, honoring Smith’s request for one day. The next day, the decal was back in Smith’s view.

Although The Juice prefers to back in, good for her! But that wasn’t the end of it for Mr. Smith.

That’s when Smith wondered if he could take his complaint to the police. Smith’s point of view is that the sticker on the back of Weaver’s car is pornography, and it should be illegal to display it in public.

A police officer dispatched to check out the decal determined that the illustration didn’t fit the city or state’s statute defining obscenity. The legal spat between Smith and Weaver never made it past a complaint with the Great Falls Police Department …

You can read more (a lot) here.

—–
EXTENDED BODY:

—–