Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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This has to be one of the worst attempted burglaries of all time. It’s kind of like three guys running from their own shadows.  As reported by khou.com:

The suspects were among three men who walked into a Katz’s Boutique in the 9800 block of the North Freeway on April 13. It was around 3 a.m. and surveillance cameras were rolling.

Police say two of the men had weapons. The suspect with the revolver apparently bumped into the suspect with the rifle, causing the rifle to discharge. “Which then spooked both the suspects,” Officer Brieden said.

Doh! You can probably see where this is going.

Both men began shooting, and police believe they thought they were being fired upon. Nearly a dozen rounds were discharged. In reality, all the gunfire was coming from them. Investigators say that is what makes them so dangerous.

More than a dozen rounds! Let’s go to the videotape. (Click on the link at the end of the post.)

The video shows the suspect with the rifle shooting through a mannequin and the store’s front glass door before the both ran away.

Fortunately …

No customers were inside at the time. Two workers hid and were not harmed.

The burglars are still at large. Click here for the source, including a video news story with surveillance footage.

 

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Adding insult to injury, the public is now aware of this gent’s very own Plaxico Burress moment. But for the reporting law, nobody would have been the wiser. As reported by The Corvallis Gazette-Times:

Ethan Bennett, 36, told Benton County sheriff’s deputies he was at his residence at 24750 Cox Lane in Monroe about 4:15 p.m. Wednesday when he tried to shoot the [squirrel] with a .22-caliber rifle.

The squirrel reportedly ran up his left leg, and he pulled the trigger, hitting himself in the foot.

Doh!

Deputies contacted Bennett at Good Samaritan Regional Medical Center, where he drove himself after the accident. Law enforcement agencies investigate all gunshot wounds admitted to the hospital.

Hospital personnel said Bennett was treated and released.

And if you’re worried about the squirrel …

Capt. Greg Ridler said Bennett did not kill the squirrel.

Whew. Not surprisingly, “Bennett declined to comment about the incident.” Here’s the source.

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Yes, you can get busted for walking down the street with a Bible. And yes, of course there is more to the story. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:

The Bradenton Police Department detained a naked man after he was spotted walking in the 1100 block of Martin Luther King Avenue West at 12:09 a.m. Sunday, according to a report.

Details, details. So the guy was nude. People are too uptight.

Police said the man was carrying a Bible. When an officer tried to make contact with the subject he ran east where he was caught four blocks later after a brief struggle, police said.

The man was taken to Manatee Memorial Hospital for a medical evaluation. A charge of exposure of sexual organs has been filed with the State Attorney’s Office.

You’ll find the source here.

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Are you insinuating, sir, that I am not gainfully employed? Well, let me tell you something … Per wfmj.com:

School authorities report to police that the fifteen year old boy was caught in the school with five packages of pot on Tuesday. The assistant principal told officers that the boy confessed that he intended to sell the marijuana to another student.

Uh-oh.

When officers questioned the teen, they asked the student if he was employed.

Good question.

The student, who was wearing blue jeans and tie-dyed Jimi Hendrix tee shirt replied,”Well, I sell weed.”

Bam! Best answer in the history of Boardman Township, Ohio, ever, in any setting.

He faces charges in juvenile court of trafficking marijuana in school.

You’ll find the source here.

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So this couple was shooting a gun in the woods. What’s the big deal? Well, there are all kinds of woods. As reported by The Bradenton Herald:

A man and a woman have been charged with getting drunk and shooting at a tree at G.T. Bray Park in Bradenton, according to police. About 11:10 p.m. Sunday, officers responded to reports of gunfire at the park, 5502 33rd Ave. Drive W.

They were in a public park! Doh!

As [the police] arrived, officers stopped a car as it was leaving the park. Inside, they found that the driver, identified as Ian Tucker, 29, was drunk and openly carrying a gun, according to a report.

“He explained that he and his female passenger had been shooting at a tree within the park,” the report states.

Yup. Nothing to worry about here officer. Just a drunk couple shooting a gun in a public park.

Tucker and the woman, Rachelle Lacasse, 29, were each charged with openly carrying a weapon, discharging a firearm in public or on residential property and improper exhibition of a weapon. They were released from the Manatee County jail after posting bonds totaling $1,120 each.

You’ll find the source, including mug shots, here.

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It’s unclear if this guy is a member of the first group of folks. He’s definitely someone who sucks at Walmart. As reported by The Independent Tribune (Concord, North Carolina):

Michael Anthony Brown, of 207 Lincoln St. SW, Concord, was arrested and charged with assault on a female in March after police say he approached a woman in a Lincolnton Walmart, told her he was a podiatry student and sucked on her toes.

Very credible story. Can you believe she didn’t buy it? He has tried less subtle approaches.

He is a registered sex offender with a history of similar crimes, including multiple incidents of touching women’s feet in Concord.

In September 2000, he approached a woman who was sitting on her porch, showed a knife and told the woman to let him see her shoe, according to an investigation report attached to a Cabarrus court file. Police accused Brown of sucking on the woman’s toes and committing a sexual act involving her feet.

So Mr. Brown pleaded guilty. The sentence?

WSOC-TV reported Brown’s victim in the Lincolnton incident left the courtroom in tears after the judge pronounced the 60-day sentence, and Brown seemed pleased with what happened in court.

Seems light to The Juice too. A repeat crime by a registered sex offender, and only 60 days? Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

 

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Warning: this is truly disgusting. If you try and think of a product you could buy at CVS, and then return, that would be really, really disgusting, you would NOT think of this. As reported by the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office:

Investigation revealed the individual was frequenting the CVS since March 2012 and began returning the product in April 2012. He would purchase a pack of enemas and return them at a later time. According CVS personnel, the items appeared to be unused and therefore the store would put the box of enemas back on the shelf for resale.

Enemas! Back on the shelf! “Appeared” to be unused …

On Tuesday, June 5, 2012, a CVS employee thought it was strange that the same individual was making returns with the same product. The employee decided to check the box of enemas after it was returned. Upon opening the box, the employee observed all the enemas (6) had been used and the box had been resealed so it would appear to be unopened. An employee then checked the additional three boxes on the shelf and determined they had all been previously used.

Why does one man need so many enemas? Anyway …

On Tuesday, June 12, 2012 at 10:19 a.m., the same unknown individual attempted to return another box of enemas that were purchased at 8:12 p.m. on Wednesday, June 11, 2012. The employee advised the individual that he could no longer take returns for these items. The employee contacted his loss prevention manager and advised all the area CVS stores about this incident.

Oh it’s on now, enema man.

On Wednesday, June 13, 2012 a CVS employee thought he observed the customer’s vehicle, obtained the tag number and contacted the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office.

On Thursday, June 14, 2012 the JSO was contacted by CVS with information to help identify the suspect. CVS personnel were able to determine that the suspect purchased enemas on one occurrence with a credit card. That transaction, as well as other purchases at the store, and the tag number led police to a possible suspect.

But how would they be sure they had their man? Do you really want to know?

Samples were taken of the fluid in the enema bottles and have been sent to the Florida Department of Health for testing. Fecal matter was located on some of the returned enema bottles. The fecal matter has been collected as evidence and submitted to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) for testing.

You were warned.

The individual has been identified, and was arrested on an unrelated outstanding warrant. The investigation continues.

Here’s the source.

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When you hear the word “battery” you think of 2 things:  “Hey, do you have a AAA battery?” Or you think of someone getting the ass kicked.  The Juice is quite confident that you would not think of something like this.  Per The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A man was charged with battery after he poured water on a woman during an argument, an arrest report indicates.

Yes, water.

The man, who is 39 and lives in Niceville, admitted to Niceville Police officers he poured water on the woman during their spat and told officers to take him to jail.

As you wish.

The charge was a misdemeanor.  His plea date is April 22.

Sounds like a candidate for the litter patrol, and maybe some anger management counseling.

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There are lots of ways to resist arrest. This one in particular, every male officer would likely agree, should carry an enhanced sentence. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

“Something’s wrong with her,” said Cook County Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr., who initially ordered the 20-year-old held on $50,000 bail. After a short recess, Bourgeois decided to instead release Ashleigh Heather Edwards on an individual recognizance bond with electronic monitoring.

You’re curious, right? What did she do?

Edwards, of Berwyn, assaulted [an] officer on a parked train outside the Galewood station on Chicago’s Northwest Side at about 3:40 p.m. Friday, according to an arrest report. The officer tried to remove Edwards after crew members said she entered the train’s “engine compartment” without permission.

Edwards yelled and ran to the other side of the train, police allege, before the officer caught her and attempted to place her under arrest. At that point, police and prosecutors said, Edwards grabbed the officer’s penis and squeezed it to inflict pain, while also kicking and punching and trying to pull away.

Ouch, ouch, ouch! But that wasn’t the end of it.

The officer used pepper spray to restrain her, the arrest report said. But while exiting the train in the 2000 block of North Narragansett Avenue and walking toward the police cruiser, prosecutors said Edwards again grabbed and squeezed the officer’s genitals.

The Juice is inclined to agree with the Judge’s assessment that “Something’s wrong with her.” And in case you think it wasn’t that big of a deal for the officer …

The Metra policeman was taken by ambulance to West Suburban Hospital in Oak Park, where he was treated and released, according to court documents.

As for Ms. Edwards:

[She] will return to court Friday. She faces a felony charge of aggravated battery to a peace officer, along with misdemeanor counts of resisting a police officer and criminal trespass to state land. No booking photo was immediately available.

Here’s the source, including her mug shot.

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A pack of cigarettes! She stole a pack of cigarettes! 22 years ago! People! Where is your sense of proportionality? As reported by wesh.com:

A mother of two sits in jail Monday unable to post bail after being put behind bars for the 1991 theft of a pack of cigarettes.

Jail? You couldn’t release her on her own recognizance for this?

“Back in 1991, I shoplifted cigarettes from Walmart,” Hall said.

So how’d they catch her now?

That 22-year-old crime followed her to Port Canaveral Thursday, where she was wrapping up a dream vacation with her husband and two kids.

The family had cruised aboard the Disney Dream, and authorities were waiting for her when they got back. “I was pulled to the side and told I had a warrant,” Hall said.

Authorities said Hall had failed to pay the $85 in court costs when she was 18; and when authorities checked the ship’s passenger list for terrorists, they found a warrant for Hall.

And to this even more ridiculous, check out the exemplary life Ms. Hall has led since her days as a career criminal …

Since the theft, she had put herself through college, receiving a degree in architecture, and now she helps design jet engines for Pratt & Whitney in Connecticut.

Clearly she’s a flight risk, right? What is wrong with these people? Here’s the official explanation:

The Brevard County Jail will not let her post bail because it’s an Orange County charge and she has to be transferred. However, because of the weekend and holiday, that might not be until Thursday.

That’s a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit. The Juice is not pleased with this “case.” Here’s the source, including a video news story.