Articles Posted in Juice Drops

Squeezed on:


Certainly a Judge must control the courtroom. How a Judge may do this, not surprisingly, is determined by the law. One tool is the power to hold someone in contempt. [Hint: It’s a power used, a lot, below.] According to the Supreme Court, if the sentence imposed for contempt is less than 6 months, there is no right to a jury trial. Now, to our man in Maryland.

In 1990, Mr. Johnson was convicted of malicious destruction of personal property, placed on probation, and given a 3-year suspended sentence. He had to stay out of trouble for 3 years. Unfortunately, in 1991 he was convicted of burglary, and sentenced to 10 years. So Mr. Johnson is in jail for a couple years, when he is called to court for violating his 1990 probation – with just 10 days remaining on the 3-year suspended sentence.

Althought the prospect of serving an additional 3 years – on top of the 10 years he was already serving – did not sit well with him, his probation agent told him that the State would not seek to tack on the additional 3 years for violating his probation. WRONG! The Judge added on the 3 years, and a lively, lengthy, colorful conversation ensued. And just when you think it might be over …

THE COURT: Call the next case please.

[PROSECUTOR]: State calls Eugene Wright …

MR. JOHNSON: — at the same time. Don’t make no motherfucking sense.

THE COURT: Bring him back. Take him back.

MR. JOHNSON: No motherfucking sense.

THE COURT: Pull him back.

MR. JOHNSON: Yo, man, stop yanking on my motherfucking arms. Motherfucking —

THE COURT: Sit him back over there in front of the table. [Uh-oh]

THE CLERK: Give me the file back. He might be under contempt of court.

THE COURT: Now, stand up there. Come back to that table there. Step on up now. What’s wrong with you?

MR. JOHNSON: What the fuck you think wrong with me, man? Goddamn, I’m trying to tell you I ain’t have no motherfucking option in this shit, man.

THE COURT: All right.

MR. JOHNSON: What the fuck? You think everybody just want to go sit in prison for the rest of their life because you ain’t got nothing better to do than to sit up there and crack jokes. This ain’t no motherfucking joke, man. This is about my goddamn life.

THE COURT: That cost you five months and twenty-nine days in addition to the three years I’ve just given you [#1, and suspiciously shy of the 6 months that would require a jury trial]

MR. JOHNSON: Fuck this shit, man.

THE COURT: All right. That’s five months and twenty-nine more in addition to the five months and twenty-nine I’ve given you. [#2]

MR. JOHNSON: Fuck you, bitch.

THE COURT: That’s five months and twenty-nine days. That’s three years. That’s five months and twenty-nine days. Now, wait a minute. That’s consecutive to the three years that you’re now doing. Each one of those. Separate and independent. [#3]

MR. JOHNSON: If I had a gun, your motherfucking head would be splattered all over the back of the goddamn wall for —

THE COURT: And you’d better shoot straight when you try. When you get out, come on. Five months and twenty-nine more for that. That’s consecutive to the three others and consecutive to the one that you’re doing now. [#4]

MR. JOHNSON: Whatever man. You’re tired of giving it out? Did you finish or what?

THE COURT: Well, we can see. That’s five months and twenty-nine more. [#5]

MR. JOHNSON: Kiss my ass again.

THE COURT: Five months and twenty-nine more. [#6]

MR. JOHNSON: Kiss my ass until you’re tired of giving me another.

THE COURT: That’s six of them.

MR. JOHNSON: Kiss my ass again.

THE COURT: Seven. Five months and twenty-nine days. [#7]

MR. JOHNSON: Fuck you. Kiss my ass again.

THE COURT: Five months and twenty-nine days. [#8]

MR. JOHNSON: All right.

THE COURT: Consecutive.

THE CLERK: Silence.

MR. JOHNSON: So you finished giving out time?

THE COURT: I guess. Until you cuss again.

MR. JOHNSON: Suck my dick. [Very tricky, because “dick” isn’t a cuss word.]

THE COURT: Five months and twenty-nine days consecutive. [#9] [Damn!]

THE BAILIFF: Quiet in the Court.

MR. JOHNSON: You finished?

THE COURT: I suppose.

MR. JOHNSON: Well, what the fuck are you holding me for then?

THE COURT: Five months and twenty-nine more days. Consecutive. [#10]

MR. JOHNSON: Get the fuck off me, man.

THE COURT: Call the next one.

Not thrilled with the prospect of finishing his 10-year sentence, then 3 more years for the probation violation, then just under 5 MORE YEARS for contempt of court, Mr. Johnson appealed. Who do you think won? Mr. Johnson did. The Maryland Court of Special Appeals reversed the contempt convictions.

In the instant case, the trial judge, by engaging in a prolonged dialogue with the appellant,may have provoked the appellant into repeatedly committing acts of contempt. Convictions for those acts may not stand.

The Court of Special Appeals held that the entire incident described above be considered as only one episode of contempt, and sent the matter back to the trial judge on that one count of contempt, with the not-so-subtle hint that they “leave it to his judgment what further action should be taken.” Johnson v. State, 642 A.2d 259 (Md. Ct. Spec. App. 1994).

Squeezed on:


Old folks like The Juice, especially (and almost exclusively) men, often quote from Animal House. As Dean Wormer said: “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life …” If you could have seen her mug shot (it’s been removed) you would have seen that “fat” doesn’t apply. “Drunk” definitely does. As for “stupid,” judge for yourself. Per The Orlando Sentinel:

An Oviedo Police Department officer who was assisting with security before UCF’s [University of Central Florida] first football game of the season against University of Akron got several reports of a woman urinating inside Parking Garage H.


When he went to check it out, he found Kristine Johnson of Sarasota naked from the waist down. She is not a UCF student, university officials said.

If you think she went along quietly …

When police commanded her to pull her shorts back on, she complied, her arrest report said. But throughout the rest of the encounter, police say, Johnson resisted arrest by pushing officers away, picking fights with strangers and yelling and cursing repeatedly.

When she was arrested, officials say, she spit on the doors and walls of her holding cell and cursed and yelled at officers.

Well, someone needs to learn some manners! The charges?

She faces multiple charges, including exposure of sexual organs, disorderly conduct and battery on a law enforcement officer.

Oh, and one more thing. She was banned from UCF! Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:

door bell doorbell ding dong ditch

There can’t be many boys out there who never played “doorbell ditch.” A few Missouri boys have definitely played this game out. In fact, they may never ring ANY doorbell again. As reported by The News-Leader (

Police say the boys angered the female resident to the point that she tried to run one down with her van, punched another three times while holding a knife to his chest and threatened to kill the boys and others, all while shouting racial slurs.

Ashley D. Crossland followed one boy to the house where the boys were having a sleepover, police say, and illegally entered the home. Confronted by a father of one of the boys, Crossland allegedly “threatened to slit his throat and everyone’s throats in the house, including the babies.”

You can read a lot more, and see the perp’s mug shot here.

Squeezed on:

barbecue sauce

Normally when a woman finds her husband appetizing, that would be a good thing, right? Not this time! Per The Palm Beach Post:

City police say a woman poured barbecue sauce on her husband and went after him with a knife in each hand Tuesday, according to an arrest report made public Wednesday.

Viven Palmer, 30, faces charges of battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer. She was released late Tuesday from the Palm Beach County Jail on $5,000 bail.

On Tuesday morning, police were called to the 1300 block of West 37th Street, south of Silver Beach Road near Avenue O, where a 30-year-old man was waving and yelling from his front door, “Help, police!”

Officers say they heard a woman, later identified as Palmer, yelling from the home, but when she came outside, she refused to speak with them. Instead, she just put items into a parked car outside the home. Police noted to children, ages 4 and 9, were seen in a car, according to the report.

Though she refused to speak with police and told them to leave her home, her husband said the two were arguing about getting a divorce. He said things turned violent and his wife came after him, damaging property along the way. Police noted the home appeared to be ransacked in their report.

He said his wife ripped off his shirt, poured barbecue sauce on him and hit him. When he fought back, he realized she had grabbed butcher knives from the kitchen, so he ran outside.

Yikes! You’ll find the source, including Ms. Palmer’s mug shot, here.

Squeezed on:


There are lots of ways to resist arrest. This one in particular, every male officer would likely agree, should carry an enhanced sentence. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

“Something’s wrong with her,” said Cook County Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr., who initially ordered the 20-year-old held on $50,000 bail. After a short recess, Bourgeois decided to instead release Ashleigh Heather Edwards on an individual recognizance bond with electronic monitoring.

You’re curious, right? What did she do?

Edwards, of Berwyn, assaulted [an] officer on a parked train outside the Galewood station on Chicago’s Northwest Side at about 3:40 p.m. Friday, according to an arrest report. The officer tried to remove Edwards after crew members said she entered the train’s “engine compartment” without permission.

Edwards yelled and ran to the other side of the train, police allege, before the officer caught her and attempted to place her under arrest. At that point, police and prosecutors said, Edwards grabbed the officer’s penis and squeezed it to inflict pain, while also kicking and punching and trying to pull away.

Ouch, ouch, ouch! But that wasn’t the end of it.

The officer used pepper spray to restrain her, the arrest report said. But while exiting the train in the 2000 block of North Narragansett Avenue and walking toward the police cruiser, prosecutors said Edwards again grabbed and squeezed the officer’s genitals.

The Juice is inclined to agree with the Judge’s assessment that “Something’s wrong with her.” And in case you think it wasn’t that big of a deal for the officer …

The Metra policeman was taken by ambulance to West Suburban Hospital in Oak Park, where he was treated and released, according to court documents.

As for Ms. Edwards:

[She] will return to court Friday. She faces a felony charge of aggravated battery to a peace officer, along with misdemeanor counts of resisting a police officer and criminal trespass to state land. No booking photo was immediately available.

Here’s the source, including her mug shot.

Squeezed on:

taxi sign

You’d have to be drunk or stoned to take a cab to a bank robbery and to have it wait for you while you did the deed, right? Right! This gent was drunk!  As reported by The Tallahassee Democrat:

Stanley Geddie arrived by taxicab and was drunk during an attempted heist of a Tallahassee bank Wednesday afternoon, police say.

The 46-year-old was arrested on charges of robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer after demanding $100,000 from a bank manager at the Capital City Bank on Capital Circle Northwest.

Geddie told the manager he had a .357 handgun, was carrying C4 plastic explosives and “would blow this place up,” court records show.

Police arrived at the bank to find the cab driver, who advised them Geddie was drunk and had not paid his $25.50 fare. The driver told police Geddie said, “I will take care of you when I come out.”

When police made contact with Geddie sitting in the manager’s office, he appeared “very intoxicated and spaced out,” according to court records.

Geddie did not follow officers’ commands and was tased during the incident. Court records say that when police told him he would be shot if he made any sudden movements, he said “well then kill me.” He was arrested without further incident. A search revealed Geddie did not have a firearm or explosives.

In an interview with police, the bank manager said Geddie indicated he also had the bank surrounded while continuing to demand the money.

Well, that was a total bust.  You’ll find the source, and Mr. Geddie’s mugshot, here.

Squeezed on:


Carpooling is fantastic. It’s even better when your passenger is a real person! As reported by The New York Daily News:

 “The Most Interesting Man in the World” may be good company, but he’s a bad carpool passenger.

A Washington State trooper couldn’t resist snapping a photo — and issuing a ticket — after he pulled over a man in the HOV lane Tuesday using the famous face as a phony passenger.

“The trooper immediately recognized it was a prop and not a passenger,” Trooper Guy Gill told the Daily News. “As the trooper approached, the driver was actually laughing.”

That’s because the HOV cheat used a cardboard cutout of the Dos Equis beer pitchman, adorned with a polo shirt and wearing his seat belt.

You’ll find the source, and a photo of the “passenger,” here. 

Squeezed on:


The Juice has come across some strange fetishes in his thousands of posts over the years. This may be the strangest yet, as reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer.

The Mayfair Town Watch reported yesterday on its Facebook page that the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has been terrorizing neighborhood women.

Yes, you read that correctly.

According to the group, the suspect, a heavyset white man estimated to be in his late 40s or early 50s, approaches women while driving a silver or black sedan with his genitals exposed. He then displays a piece of sliced Swiss cheese and offers to pay the women to put the cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts on him using it.

All together now: Ewwwwww!

“I understand that people may think this is funny, but this is no laughing matter,” said Milt Martelack, the town watch’s senior adviser. “We’ve had a couple individuals reach out to us. We’re taking this matter very seriously, and we’re working vigorously with police to get this guy off the streets.”

A police source yesterday confirmed that the Special Victims Unit is investigating the man after several women from the Mayfair area filed reports describing similar encounters with a man displaying what the source called a “major sexual cheese fetish.”

Hmmm. This sounds familiar …

And although news of the bizarre case shocked many Mayfair residents, Gabby Chest – who lives in nearby Bridesburg – recognized the behavioral pattern instantly.

In July 2012, Chest, then 19 and having just broken up with her boyfriend, created a profile on the dating website OkCupid.

Within days, she said, she was contacted by a “really strange guy,” who sent her a private message that detailed a very specific request.

“He said he was looking for someone to perform masturbation on him with cheese,” Chest said. “He kept saying how strong his urges were and how desperate he was to find someone to help him with them.”

An excerpt from that message, which Chest sent the Daily News, details the origin of the man’s self-described “fetish.”

“I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more,” he wrote.

“That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.”

It’s not surprising, then, that Chest recognized the man who had contacted her as the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” as soon as she saw his picture on the Mayfair Town Watch’s Facebook page.

“There’s no doubt it was him; it looked exactly like the picture on his profile,” she said. “I was scared and shocked. I never thought the guys you see on those sites would be so close to me.”

Yikes. You can read more here.

Squeezed on:

police car cop

Regular Juice readers would not be surprised to hear about someone hiding drugs in a body cavity. However, the circumstances of this perp’s secreting of the drugs are a bit unusual. As reported by;

Borough police who stopped a man and his pregnant passenger on a minor motor-vehicle violation Friday suspected there were drugs in their car.

But they didn’t find anything until they viewed videotape taken by a surveillance camera which caught the woman in the back seat of the police cruiser shoving what turned out to be 89 bags of heroin into a body cavity, police said.

In the cop car, and she almost got away with it!  Here’s the source.

Squeezed on:


Is it worse to burgle your family or strangers? That’s for you to decide. But this particular theft was particularly uncool (and gross) regardless.  As reported by (St. Louis, Missouri):

The victim of a burglary says her father’s ashes were stolen and that two relatives and a third man are to blame after they thought they were stealing cocaine.

“I just couldn’t believe that they would take the ashes,” said Debora Matthews, the victim of the robbery. “But you know, they were kids and I guess just stupid.”

Ma’am, there’s no need to guess about that one.

Matthews says Devin Gesell and two minors rummaged through her home in St. Peters, stealing several items in addition to the ashes. She also says she believes the minors are two of her father’s grandchildren.

“I’m very upset because of the minors. I mean [they] were his grandsons,” Matthews said. “They did that to their grandfather. They didn’t even realize it was their grandfather’s ashes.”

But the did realize it eventually. How? Well …

She says the three thought the ashes stored in a container was cocaine, but after they tasted it, they realized what they had really stolen. However, instead of bring it back, they scattered the ashes all over the highway as they fled.

St. Peter’s police arrested Gesell and the minors. Gesell is now facing possible burglary and theft charges.

They tasted their grandfather’s ashes! You’ll find the source, and a video of the story, here.

(This post, and the thousands of others on, are brought to you by Washington, DC, Maryland & Virginia automobile, bicycle, and pedestrian accident attorney John Mesirow.)