Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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spray bottle liquid
Yes folks, you read that correctly. As reported by detroit.cbslocal.com:

Jason Festerman was called to school after his son was suspended for spraying prank item Liquid Ass in his classroom. Ads claim Liquid Ass is a “power–packed, super–concentrated liquid (that) begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt–crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo.”

Festerman claims he was innocently checking the item in the school, when it discharged — and the police were called.

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soccer ball goal
If you ever needed evidence supporting the fact that soccer fans are extremely invested in their teams, look no further than this bizarre incident. As reported by espnfc.com:

The shocking incidents occurred in Maranhao, Brazil, last Sunday. According to reports, referee Otavio Jordao da Silva fatally stabbed footballer Josenir dos Santos Abreu.

A ref doesn’t just stab a player right? Right.

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gavel
Certainly a Judge must control the courtroom. How a Judge may do this, not surprisingly, is determined by the law. One tool is the power to hold someone in contempt. [Hint: It’s a power used, a lot, below.] According to the Supreme Court, if the sentence imposed for contempt is less than 6 months, there is no right to a jury trial. Now, to our man in Maryland.

In 1990, Mr. Johnson was convicted of malicious destruction of personal property, placed on probation, and given a 3-year suspended sentence. He had to stay out of trouble for 3 years. Unfortunately, in 1991 he was convicted of burglary, and sentenced to 10 years. So Mr. Johnson is in jail for a couple years, when he is called to court for violating his 1990 probation – with just 10 days remaining on the 3-year suspended sentence.

Althought the prospect of serving an additional 3 years – on top of the 10 years he was already serving – did not sit well with him, his probation agent told him that the State would not seek to tack on the additional 3 years for violating his probation. WRONG! The Judge added on the 3 years, and a lively, lengthy, colorful conversation ensued. And just when you think it might be over …

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football
Old folks like The Juice, especially (and almost exclusively) men, often quote from Animal House. As Dean Wormer said: “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life …” If you could have seen her mug shot (it’s been removed) you would have seen that “fat” doesn’t apply. “Drunk” definitely does. As for “stupid,” judge for yourself. Per The Orlando Sentinel:

An Oviedo Police Department officer who was assisting with security before UCF’s [University of Central Florida] first football game of the season against University of Akron got several reports of a woman urinating inside Parking Garage H.

Uh-oh.

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door bell doorbell ding dong ditch
There can’t be many boys out there who never played “doorbell ditch.” A few Missouri boys have definitely played this game out. In fact, they may never ring ANY doorbell again. As reported by The News-Leader (news-leader.com):

Police say the boys angered the female resident to the point that she tried to run one down with her van, punched another three times while holding a knife to his chest and threatened to kill the boys and others, all while shouting racial slurs.

Ashley D. Crossland followed one boy to the house where the boys were having a sleepover, police say, and illegally entered the home. Confronted by a father of one of the boys, Crossland allegedly “threatened to slit his throat and everyone’s throats in the house, including the babies.”

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barbecue sauce
Normally when a woman finds her husband appetizing, that would be a good thing, right? Not this time! Per The Palm Beach Post:

City police say a woman poured barbecue sauce on her husband and went after him with a knife in each hand Tuesday, according to an arrest report made public Wednesday.

Viven Palmer, 30, faces charges of battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer. She was released late Tuesday from the Palm Beach County Jail on $5,000 bail.

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There are lots of ways to resist arrest. This one in particular, every male officer would likely agree, should carry an enhanced sentence. As reported by The Chicago Tribune:

“Something’s wrong with her,” said Cook County Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr., who initially ordered the 20-year-old held on $50,000 bail. After a short recess, Bourgeois decided to instead release Ashleigh Heather Edwards on an individual recognizance bond with electronic monitoring.

You’re curious, right? What did she do?

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taxi sign
You’d have to be drunk or stoned to take a cab to a bank robbery and to have it wait for you while you did the deed, right? Right! This gent was drunk!  As reported by The Tallahassee Democrat:

Stanley Geddie arrived by taxicab and was drunk during an attempted heist of a Tallahassee bank Wednesday afternoon, police say.

The 46-year-old was arrested on charges of robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer after demanding $100,000 from a bank manager at the Capital City Bank on Capital Circle Northwest.

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hov
Carpooling is fantastic. It’s even better when your passenger is a real person! As reported by The New York Daily News:

 “The Most Interesting Man in the World” may be good company, but he’s a bad carpool passenger.

A Washington State trooper couldn’t resist snapping a photo — and issuing a ticket — after he pulled over a man in the HOV lane Tuesday using the famous face as a phony passenger.

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The Juice has come across some strange fetishes in his thousands of posts over the years. This may be the strangest yet, as reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer.

The Mayfair Town Watch reported yesterday on its Facebook page that the “Swiss Cheese Pervert” has been terrorizing neighborhood women.

Yes, you read that correctly.