Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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Not many Orders merit a block quote on Legal Juice. This one, from the case of Kissel v. Schwartz … out of Kentucky, most definitely does. So, without further ado:

“And such news of an amicable settlement having made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would rather have jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory; IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED AND ADJUDGED by the court as follows: 1. The jury trial scheduled herein for July 13, 2011 is hereby CANCELED.”

You like Kenton Circuit Judge Martin J. Sheehan, right? One more thing:

“4. The Clerk shall engage the services of a structural engineer to ascertain if the return of this file to the Clerk’s office will exceed the maximum structural load of the floors of said office.”

Nicely done sir! Here’s the Order

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Hey, younger drivers are going to make mistakes, especially after they’ve had something to drink. Here’s the latest installment of “Yikes” as reported by The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario):

A Burlington teen faces careless driving charges after crashing into a home. Halton police say ‘miraculously’ no one was injured when the 19-year-old left the roadway at 10 p.m. Wednesday night.

You’ve got to see the pictures. (Click here.)

The novice driver in a Ford Taurus and a male passenger left the west side of the roadway before crossing the front lawns of two homes. The car struck the front of a house with such impact police say the vehicle’s entire front end was lodged inside.

Think the homeowner was pissed?

“I ran right to the guy (driver) and started yelling at him,” homeowner Kathy Thring told the Burlington Post. “He kept telling me he was sorry. I told him he could have hurt someone.” Thring, her husband Darrin, and two daughters, Taylor, 13, and Sutherlin, 10, were home at the time.

The car remained in the house Thursday morning. Police say main support systems of the home looked to be significantly compromised.

The charges?

Mitchell Bolduc, 19 is charged with careless driving and having a blood alcohol concentration above zero. The accused is a novice driver which under the Highway Traffic Act of Ontario, restricts drivers from having any alcohol at all.

Here’s the source.

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Please, please, please just tell The Juice you did not fall for the oldest trick in the book – the “key swap.” Okay, so The Juice had never heard of the “key swap” either. As reported by tcpalm.com:

It sounds like a Hollywood heist. Thieves stole a $55,000 vehicle from the Arrigo Dodge dealership Wednesday afternoon without breaking a sweat or a window.

Maybe Hollywood, Florida, but pretty smooth nonetheless.

Investigators said it happened while an employee was showing a black 2012 Jeep SRT8. The thief took a look inside, started it, and as he was getting out, swapped the keys for an identical pair. The next few moments were all captured on camera.

The male thieves get into the Jeep and drive right off the lot undetected minutes after the salesman had just showed it.

So they just swapped a dummy key for the real one, and then hit the road soon thereafter. As for their current whereabouts? Unknown.  You can read more, and see a video of the story, here.

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It’s a big country. And if you live in or near a major metropolitan area, you may forget about places like Newcastle, Wyoming. Now the folks there may be very nice, but if this is any indication, they’re not very open-minded. Check out this law:

Sec. 17-14. – Obscenity—Public appearance in nude; dress not belonging to sex of wearer; indecent exposure; lewd or indecent behavior.

It shall be unlawful for any person to appear in any public place in the city in a state of nudity or in dress not belonging to the sex of such person or in an indecent or lewd dress or to make any indecent exposure of his person or to commit any lewd or indecent act or behavior.

“… or in dress not belonging to the sex of such person …” Really? Yes, really. Here’s a link to the law.

 

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When a 51-year-old daughter wants to do something nice for her 80-year-old father, it’s a good thing. All agreed? Okay, what if the “thing” is hooking the father up with a prostitute? The Juice’s opinion remains unchanged. As reported by abcactionnews.com:

The pair, who listed their hometown as Dubuque, Iowa, were arrested on Nebraska Avenue, an area of Tampa known for prostitution activity.

Welcome to Tampa, Iowans!

According to the arrest affidavit, 51-year-old Pia Kirchberg offered an undercover police officer $20 if she would have sex with Kirchberg’s elderly father.

Both Pia Kirchberg and 80-year-old Maurice Kirchberg were charged with soliciting for prostitution.

“Prostitution is illegal. It doesn’t matter how old you are,” said police spokeswoman Laura McElroy.”If we catch you trying to solicit a prostitute you’re going to jail.”

With all due respect, wrong!. No judge or jury is going to send an 80-year-old man to jail for seeking companionship, however fleeting. Here’s the source, with mug shots.

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It’s so easy, in the comfort of your own home, or sitting there in your ergonomic office chair, to say that you wouldn’t have reacted as this Houston woman did. But can you really know with certainty? Exactly. As reported by khou.com:

According to officers with the Houston Police Department, the woman got upset over her drink at a McDonald’s restaurant, caused a disturbance, and then sped off [and allegedly led police on high-speed chase.]  Police said they spotted her older Mercedes with an expired sticker, and they tried to pull her over.

Okay, so perhaps she overreacted a little.

They eventually used spike strips to flatten her tires. She came to a stop on Hillcroft near Richmond.

Yikes. So what happened to her?

Police said the woman would be charged with resisting arrest. [She was taken to jail.]

Here’s the source, including a photo of the unhappy customer.

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We’ve all heard a story about someone mistakenly thinking somebody is pregnant. The Juice will wager you haven’t heard of anything remotely similar to this. As reported by TCPalm.com:

A woman told police a dispute began after Jessie Mae Dorsey told her she was pregnant but she said she was “just getting fat.”

Awkward. But okay? Nope, not okay. Here’s how it went down:

“I’ve had five kids, I know how you walk when you’re pregnant,” Dorsey is quoted as saying.

The victim said she was “just getting fat,” and told police Dorsey walked toward her.

“Who the (expletive) are you catching an attitude with,” Dorsey is quoted as saying.

“You,” the victim said.

Dorsey is then accused of lobbing a cinder block chunk at the victim, hitting her head. Dorsey jumped on her, pulled her hair and bit her face.

The man walking with the victim pulled Dorsey off, and Dorsey beat feet.

Um, dude, think you could have jumped in a little sooner? And Ms. Dorsey, you bit her face! After you insulted her!

The victim had teeth marks on her face and bumps on her head.

Dorsey, 46, was arrested [for aggravated battery] March 16 on a warrant stemming from the … fracas … in Fort Pierce.

Go figure. Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Dorsey.

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It’s often said that security guards are wannabe cops. Have you ever heard that said about refs? Me either. But check this out, as reported by wwl.com:

An apparent argument over crowd control between high school football referees and members of the Covington Police Department led to the arrest of two members of the officiating crew.

You probably saw that coming. So what happened?

The incident happened at the Mandeville-St. Paul’s game at about 8:45 Friday night.

St. Paul’s Athletic Director Craig Ketelson told WWL’s Deke Bellavia, who was broadcasting from the game, that an argument between two referees and police that were providing security became heated.

Ketelsen said, “I have never seen anything like this before.”

And you probably won’t again …

Covington Police Captain Jack West told Deke Bellavia what officers say happened in the incident:

“Well, a referee asked a police officer to move some people back.  The police officer moved them back.  Another referee came up to the police officer and told him, ‘that’s not far enough.’  The police officer explained….would you please handle the game, referee the game, and we will handle the crowd for you. The second referee told the police officer, nose-to-nose with the police officer, ‘you’re out of the game…get outta here.’  And the police officer said, ‘excuse me sir, just referee the game, and we’ll handle the crowd.’  And he says ‘no, get out.  Get out now.’

West went on to say, “There’s several witnesses that stepped forward who stepped forward to say that’s what happened. So, the two referees have been arrested for public intimidation.”

Yes, the refs actually thought their authority was greater than the police officers controlling the crowd. Click here for the source.

 

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Mother of the day! So maybe she didn’t tell her kid to go play in traffic. What this Texas mom did do, though, was arguably worse. As reported by khou.com

Police in League City arrested a woman Monday night accused of making her 10-year-old son walk along the Gulf Freeway frontage road as a form of punishment.

According to the police department, officers received a report of a child walking on the shoulder of the 2100 block of the Gulf Freeway around 8:30 p.m.

During the investigation, police said it was discovered the boy had been forced out of a vehicle by his mom and told to walk home.

Yes that was on a “freeway,” at night! So what happened to her?

Angela Graciela Garcia, 34, was later arrested and charged with abandoning/endangering a child. Her bond was set at $7,500.

Here’s the source, including Ms. Garcia’s mug shot.

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After reading this post, you will agree that no man will EVER mess with this woman. Hell, no man will even get within grabbing distance of her. Warning to male Juice readers: you may feel this man’s pain. As reported by wbtv.com:

Police in Shelby [North Carolina] say they arrested a woman over the weekend after she squeezed a man’s testicles out of his scrotum.

Joyce Maxine Gregory, 35, is charged with malicious castration and assault inflicting serious bodily injury, according to Shelby Police Chief Jeff Ledford.

YEOW! But why?

Police say Gregory got into an argument with an older man Saturday morning. When he went outside to call 911 she followed him and grabbed his scrotum.

The man ran to a nearby rescue squad building for help.

How could you possibly run after that? As for the perp …

Police were sent to the residence on Bowman Street to arrest Gregory. When she was placed in the patrol car, she pulled down her pants and urinated in the backseat.

Nice touch, right? You’ll find the source here, including a mug shot.