Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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duel
The most important rule regarding any form of communication is thus: “Would I mind if this was out there for the whole world to see?” Well, in retrospect, I think this fellow would mind. As reported by patch.com:

A Crystal Lake lawyer mocked the size of a client’s penis and challenged him to a duel, according to a complaint filed by the Illinois Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission.

Attorney Donald Franz called client Mike Rutkowski a “small penis a——e” and “insulted Rutkowsky’s manhood and choice of automobiles,” the complaint said.

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If you thought you could find an expert on anything, you would be wrong.  As reported by HurriyetDailyNews.com:

A Turkish judge has taken full responsibility in a pornography case while acquitting the investigation’s suspects after the court failed to find an “expert on artificial vaginas.”

You’re probably wondering why the judge would need such an expert, aren’t you?

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court supreme courthouse

Malcolm Williams came to the Houston County Courthouse to pay some fines and to report to his probation officer. When he emptied his pockets before going through the metal detector, as reported in the Dothan Eagle:

…out spilled two baggies of marijuana along with a wad of cash and a cell phone.

Doh! And you know what else he had on him? A pocket knife and rolling paper. Oops. Deputies tased him, but it didn’t work because of his clothing. Mr. Williams was otherwise subdued and taken into custody, where he is looking at not just probation violation, but a few new charges too.

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Okay, so we’re not talking about the mailman. Surely the newspaper delivery guy is close enough? As reported by ktuu.com:

An Anchorage Daily News deliveryman has been charged with two counts of driving under the influence after his pickup truck slid off the road in Chugiak Wednesday morning — and police found him trying to finish his route in another vehicle.

APD responded at about 6:45 a.m. to a report of a brown Ford pickup with its rear wheels in a ditch creating a traffic hazard at Birchwood Loop and Spruce Crest Drive.

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Close up of a mobile phone with a touch screen. Focus is on the phone with small DOF.
Court after court has held that you can f-bomb the police.  Depending on the situation, it may be totally disrespectful and rude, or it may be justified and appropriate. Regardless, it is constitutionally protected.  Of course, that doesn’t mean the police can’t charge you, or that a state court can’t convict you, but you will eventually be vindicated.

So this gent, Mr. Buehler, was recording a proceeding in court. The judge was not pleased, although it appears Mr. Buehler was legally permitted to record. A kerfuffle ensued, and just when you thought it might be over …  As reported by PINAC (photographyisnotacrime.com):

As [Gonzalez Police Captain Gayle] Autry turned around to return to the courthouse, a sarcastic “have a nice day” was exchanged between the cop and one of Buehler’s associates.

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People use the words “chicken shit” all the time. This fella, though, is accused of doing much more than using the words. As seen at todayskccr.com:

Prosecutors say [Tom] Parsons [49] , following a dispute with the county treasurer over a vehicle registration, placed the registration card in chicken feces and mailed the material to the official in a zip-lock bag.  The first-class mail piece was sent from the Pierre Post Office.

Brilliant! They’ll never trace it back to you… The plea?

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internet
Nobody can argue that the internet has dramatically changed the world. Some folks, though, turn to it when they ought to just do things the old-fashioned way. For example, there’s this woman in Santa Fe, Texas, as reported by kwtx.com …

Police in Santa Fe in Southeast Texas say the mother of a 14-year-old boy who was shot in the leg in a videotaped incident didn’t seek help for her injured son for seven hours while researching gunshot wounds online.

Say what?

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dentist dental mouth
Nobody just walks into a dentist’s office and does this, except this guy. As reported by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

King County prosecutors claim James Pfitzner, Jr., provided his name, date of birth and Social Security number to an office manager at Aurora Dental Care, located in Seattle’s Greenwood neighborhood. Pfitzner, 43, is alleged to have started masturbating moments later.

Describing the May 20 incident, a Seattle Police Department detective said the office manager then shouted at Pfitzner and called 911. Police responded but couldn’t find Pfitzner.

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middle finger the bird flip flipping off
Regular Juice readers know that you have a first amendment right to flip off a police officer. That doesn’t mean you won’t be arrested and thrown in jail. It just means that ultimately you will prevail. Any way, the same does NOT hold true for Judges, as this gent learned. As reported by NewsLeader.com (Springfield, Missouri):

David Hernandez, 31, was arrested Wednesday at about 3 p.m. while in the audience of a court proceeding. According to the judge’s docket sheet, Hernandez disrupted the court three times.

“Upon Mr. Hernandez’s departure from the courtroom, in direct view of Judge (Todd) Thornhill, (defendant) flails his arms and then lifts both arms in the air and extends the middle finger of each hand in utter disrespect and contempt of court,” the docket sheet reads.

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statue pee peeing public urinate urinating
Urinating in public? Well I never! Okay, maybe just this once … or, maybe not. As reported by The Iowa City Press-Citizen:

An Iowa City Man was arrested for public intoxication at 10:40 p.m. Sunday after telling police the yellow liquid flowing through a handrail on steps leading to an apartment building was beer.

Told you it was novel, but …