Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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Hell, The Juice himself is not the most patient driver. Suffice it to say that, if his car were miked, there would have to be a serious delay, with someone’s finger always on the button. But this dude in Houston? He either has an incredibly short fuse, was in a really bad mood, or both. As reported by www.khou.com:

Police said [David Charles] Patronella [age 56] was driving behind another man southbound on Highway 6 on September 28. When the two drivers reached a light on Westheimer at Briargreen, Patronella allegedly lowered his window and pointed a gun at the other driver. No words were ever exchanged.

Who needs words when you have a gun?

Patronella continued on his way once the light turned green, but the other motorist followed him.

The motorist wrote down Patronella’s license plate number and the address of his home. He then turned that information over to police. The victim said he did not know who Patronella was or why he was upset, but thought it could have been because he was driving slow.

The victim was also able to identify Patronella by a photo lineup created by police.

Are you surprised that a slow driver was so detail-oriented? The Juice would have been surprised had it not gone down this way.

Patronella was charged with aggravated assault. [His] bail was set at $30,000.

You’ll find the source here.

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You just can’t go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got to the door, she turned toward the audience and uttered a profanity. “This is [expletive],” she said during the April 21, 2009, meeting. “They are never going to tell the truth.”

Really, AJC? You can’t say “bullshit” when it’s a direct quote that’s at the heart of the story? Anyway …

Kirkendoll was immediately put under arrest and then jailed for more than two hours. Later, she filed a federal lawsuit, alleging her free speech rights had been violated and that she had been falsely arrested and imprisoned.

What did this lulu cost the city? (Fine. What did it cost the city’s insurance carrier…)

This week, the city’s insurance carrier agreed to pay $85,000 to Kirkendoll to settle the litigation, city spokeswoman Jennifer Bennett said. The city was not involved in the carrier’s decision to settle, she said.

“I hope that the city and mayor got the message and that no one else will ever be arrested for simply speaking out during a public meeting,” Kirkendoll said Thursday. “I am certainly thankful the lawsuit is over and that I have finally been vindicated.”

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

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Doesn’t everyone like pizza? Well …

A Central Texas man has been accused of stabbing his girlfriend after she brought home pizza instead of a chicken sandwich he wanted for lunch.

McLennan County jail records show Michael Corsey of Waco was being held Saturday on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Online jail records do not list bond or an attorney for Corsey, who was arrested Friday.

Waco police say Corsey allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed the woman because he had asked for a chicken sandwich, but she brought home pizza. Police say the victim was also choked and struck in the face.

Investigators say the woman, whose name wasn’t immediately released, was treated for minor injuries.

Ouch. You’ll find the source, on www.nbcdfw.com, here.

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You can’t make this stuff up. Well, you could, and people would say “no way would that ever happen.” As reported by The Independent:

A British woman attempted to sue her former lawyers for professional negligence, claiming that, alongside a number of other allegations, they failed to advise that finalising divorce proceedings would inevitably cause her marriage to end.

And you call yourselves lawyers!

The curious case – made against two solicitor firms – had already been rejected by the court, but was revealed in the transcript of a later appeal by the claimant against the dismissal of other aspects of her case.

Jane Mulcahy had argued that the lawyers should have made it clear that a divorce would cause her marriage to be terminated – something which she apparently wanted to avoid.

The lawyers failed to regard her Roman Catholic faith and should have recommended judicial separation – a step down from full divorce – as an alternative course of action, she said.

The allegation was revealed in a subsequent appeal court judgment last month, in which Lord Justice Briggs said: “The most striking of Mrs Mulcahy’s many allegations of negligence against her solicitors was that, having regard to her Roman Catholic faith, Mrs Boots had failed to give her the advice which was requisite in view of her firmly held belief in the sanctity of marriage…

“…either in terms of the alternative of judicial separation, or about the impossibility of pursuing divorce proceedings to a clean break settlement, without thereby inevitably bringing about the final termination of her marriage, which she wished to avoid.”

As you might have guessed …

The appeal was also dismissed.

Here’s the source.

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Of course prison is really, really bad. So what could be worse? Well … as reported by wdrb.com (Loiusville, Kentucky):

An inmate realizes he picked the wrong night to escape from prison.

Officials say 42-year-old Robert Vick turned himself in after escaping from a facility in Lexington on Sunday.

Why would he do that?

As temperatures dipped into the single digits yesterday, officials say Vick walked into a motel and asked the clerk to call police so he could escape the frigid air.

Vick was checked out by paramedics before returning to prison.

Officials say he would have been only wearing prison-issued khaki pants, a shirt and jacket when he escaped in the cold.

Oops.  Here’s the source, including Mr. Vick’s mug shot.

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So you didn’t hear about the sale at Macy’s where, for a very limited time, everything was $5? Well, there is a catch. There’s always a catch. As reported by wpbf.com:

Vasthi Marseille and Marline Santelus were arrested Thursday on charges of grand theft and organized scheme to defraud.

Wait. You’re arresting them for buying things on sale?

Police said the women [Macy's employees] selected almost $1,000 worth of merchandise that they manually marked down to $5 apiece while working at the Macy’s in the Town Center at Boca Raton.

Yeah. Who would ever figure that out? It’s not like it would be in the computer or anything. The back story of this brilliant crime is truly fascinating:

According to the arrest report, Marseille said she knew of another sales associate “who had done unauthorized price adjustments for other employees in the past,” so she figured “why not?”

Or not. Here’s the source.

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Although countless acres of pot are growing throughout the world, it is unlikely many of them are in the garden of a convent. There is (or was) one such acre in the garden of a convent in Uganda, as reported by the BBC:

A regional police chief told the BBC that plants covering one acre had been found and uprooted in the southern Masaka district. Two nuns and two porters have been questioned.

One of the nuns has been quoted by local media as saying the marijuana was used to treat farm animals, such as pigs.

Really? Did she say that with a straight face? Was it before or after she asked if anyone had any food because she was really, really hungry?

Southern regional commander Emmanuel Muhuirwe told the BBC News website that only the porters had been arrested – not the nuns.

He said the nuns had been questioned because the garden was part of the convent. But he said no-one had been charged yet and the porters have been released on bail.

Here’s the source.

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It was an easy day at the office for the police officers assigned to this caper. As reported by The Daily Mail:

It was an early festive gift for John Dacre who had called in ‘special branch’ after the [Christmas] trees and dozens of holly wreaths and festive decorations went missing from his nursery in Spenborough, West Yorkshire.

The thieves had even stolen two of his trollies to cart off their loot.

You were given a hint as to how they were caught…

… once Mr Dacre had spotted the incriminating pine needles on the ground the police were soon on the case.

Together they followed the trail along the Spen Valley Ringway and across fields, stopping at a house in Firthcliffe where the officers found the trees [dumped in a garden].

Ironically, the stolen trees were “supposed to be “low needle drop” trees which don’t shed so easily.” Mr. Dacre was clearly thrilled with the outcome.

‘The police were absolutely brilliant. We walked together following this trail through the pouring rain and I joked to them that all we needed was a big magnifying glass and then we’d be real supersleuths!’

The thieves, not so much. See, the police didn’t just find the stolen items at the house.

‘As an extra present, officers also found a cannabis farm at the address.’

Hmm. Perhaps the owners sampled the crop earlier that day? Here’s the source.

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So the police will investigate you if your husband merely claims you are using black magic? Apparently so, at least if you live in Kuwait. As reported by the Arab Times:

A Kuwaiti man has filed a complaint with the Adan Police Station accusing his ex-wife of doing black magic. He claims the magic harmed him and his two daughters, reports Al-Rai daily.
 According to the man the woman planted some magic charms in his home to promote hatred between him and his daughters.
 He also said because of the magic he and his daughters are suffering from dermal disease. The suspect will be summoned for interrogation.

Hmm. Perhaps your daughters don’t like you because you’re a yutz? And maybe your daughters have “dermal disease” because they are teenagers? Just sayin’ …

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Not many Orders merit a block quote on Legal Juice. This one, from the case of Kissel v. Schwartz … out of Kentucky, most definitely does. So, without further ado:

“And such news of an amicable settlement having made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one-legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would rather have jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory; IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED AND ADJUDGED by the court as follows: 1. The jury trial scheduled herein for July 13, 2011 is hereby CANCELED.”

You like Kenton Circuit Judge Martin J. Sheehan, right? One more thing:

“4. The Clerk shall engage the services of a structural engineer to ascertain if the return of this file to the Clerk’s office will exceed the maximum structural load of the floors of said office.”

Nicely done sir! Here’s the Order