“A woman who impaled herself on a picket fence when she fell while urinating from an unprotected veranda has sued her former fiance for substantial damages…” Yikes! Here’s the rest of the story.
A New Zealand doctor took a number of photographs of his … genitalia, with his cell phone. You might ask, “Why?” According to the judge, the reasons “still remain largely inexplicable.” Our doctor, whose name the court has not released, tried to send the photos to a female friend with the caption “before.” (I don’t think we’ll ever know what “after” would have been.) Well, the e-mail address was incorrect, so it bounced back. When the doctor tried to delete the photos, he caused them to be archived!
Another sexually explicit e-mail the doctor sent led to the discovery of the “self-portrait.” An Employment Court proceeding followed and, as they say in New Zealand, the doctor was sacked. He appealed. How do you think he fared?
He won! The appellate court held that the dismissal process was flawed and that the dismissal was unjustified.
Minnesota man Scott Wagar had enough. His house had been getting hit for 7 years. Per wcco.com:
Wagar never used to have a problem with homecoming traditions, until he became one. Years ago he caught a group of Willmar High School students trying to cover his house in toilet paper and he made them clean it up. Since then, the pranksters have been coming back for more.
“They come with ketchup, and peanut butter, and eggs and toilet paper,” said Wagar.
So Mr. Wagar decided to fight back.
This year, Wagar borrowed a pair of night vision goggles from his son and waited outside. It wasn’t long before he saw a group of about 20 kids approaching his house from the east, through a soybean field. He confronted them and asked them to leave. They refused and began throwing eggs at him. That’s when Scott unleashed his secret weapon.
“I figured that fox urine against eggs was probably equal force, and so I should be okay,” said Wagar.
Using a Super Soaker squirt gun, Wagar sprayed the teens with fox urine. One teen grabbed him around the neck, and when he wouldn’t let go, Wagar bent his finger back.
Question: Where do you get fox urine, let alone enough to fill a Super Soaker? Regardless, though sentiment in town seems to be on Mr. Wagar’s side, he was charged with 5th degree assault for spraying the little miscreants, and other offenses. Per this article, the charges against Mr. Wagar were dismissed.
While many police officers in the United States will arrest you for flipping them off, the courts have consistently held that doing so is protected by the First Amendment. There is nothing offering one such protection in Dubai, as an Iranian woman found out. As reported by gulfnews.com:
A businesswoman was sentenced to a month in jail for flashing her middle finger at two policemen after dining out with friends in a five-star hotel.
They said she had been drinking too. Her defense?
N.I. pleaded innocent claiming that she bit her nails and scratched her finger due to a skin disease that she suffers from when the policemen “confusingly thought she flashed her finger in their face”
The defendant claimed that she didn’t drink liquor and alleged that the food she had at the hotel was cooked in liquor.
Okay. Your evidence?
Sources close to the case told Gulf News that N.I. provided the court with a medical report confirming that she suffers from psoriasis.
The report said she remains under treatment because she suffers itchiness in her hands and legs.
And the prosecution?
Records said the policemen spotted N.I. jumping into the backseat of a car and flashed her middle finger in their face.
The policemen chased the vehicle that carried the defendant for two kilometres then asked the driver to follow them to the nearest police station.
N.I. was sent for examination. She tested positive for liquor.
When asked about the findings, she said: “The liquor in my blood must have been there because the food at the hotel was cooked in liquor.”
What’s cooked is her goose. In addition to the 30 days in jail …
The court also fined N.I. Dh3,000 for consuming liquor and she will be deported after serving her term.
You’ll find the source here.
Come on. Zombies are so slow and easy to kill. But squirrels? Those little varmints are fast. As reported at WashingtonPost.com
Ashburn [Virginia] , Partlow Road, Oct. 21. A caller reported that a squirrel was chasing and attacking children on a playground. An animal control officer observed the squirrel gather food and store it under a swing set. There was no sign of aggression. The officer told people there about wildlife hibernation habits.
Too much coffee? Too much TV? Too many shrooms? Anyway, here’s the source.
Regular Juice readers will, oddly enough, recognize this scenario from a recent post. This, however, led to much more serious consequences for the perps. As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:
Sometimes, good detective work and weeks of investigation are needed to nab suspected criminals. But other times all investigators need is 30 minutes to listen in on an accidental pocket dial to a 911 dispatch center.
That’s the reason 55-year-old Donna Knope, 32-year-old Jason Knope and 41-year-old Thomas Stallings spent their weekend in the Volusia County Branch Jail on drug charges.
According to Volusia County deputies, one member of the trio accidentally dialed 911 about 12:30 a.m. Saturday. When the dispatcher answered and tried to get details about the potential emergency, there was no response.
Instead, she overheard a discussion about drugs.
Deputies say the dispatcher kept the line open and fed details to investigators from the three who were unknowingly being recorded. At one point, the dispatcher reported hearing bubbling noises as if something was cooking.
Using cell phone locater data, deputies tracked the origin of the call to a shed behind a home in the 3200 block of Roland Drive where Donna and Jason Knope lived.
When deputies arrived, the three were actively cooking a batch of methamphetamine, investigators say. Also found were many of the household items after found in meth labs like lighter fluid, coffee filters, a butane torch and batteries.
All three face charges of manufacturing and possession of meth. Stallings also faces charges of violating probation after a previous robbery conviction.
Doh! You’ll find the source, and a video, here.
Nobody has to go to the bathroom this badly. To what length did this man go to try to get his wife to leave the bathroom? You won’t believe this one. Per The Northwest Florida Daily News.
According to the Fort Walton Beach arrest report, the couple was arguing inside of the bathroom of their residence on Windsor Lane on Dec. 8 when the husband [age 38] asked the woman to leave the room so he could urinate. He threatened to urinate on his wife if she did not leave.
Yeah, like you would ever …
She refused and the husband turned toward the wife and urinated on her, according to the report.
Ewwwwww. Yes, that’s why this is posted in The Juice’s “Gross” category.
The wife shoved the husband and told him to stop several times then began to hit the man on the shoulder causing him to stop.
Please, tell me this is a crime.
The man was charged with a misdemeanor domestic violence battery and his court date is Dec. 26.
Yes! Think he’ll agree to a plea, or choose to appear in court? Here’s the source.
True, it was a really, really small gun. But when you’re trying to board a plane, size doesn’t matter as this gent found out. As reported by wmbf.com:
Officers with the Transportation Security Administration found a loaded gun in a backpack at Myrtle Beach International Airport.
A 59-year-old Murrells Inlet man, David Joyner Kelly, was arrested and charged with carrying concealable weapons into certain restricted areas, a misdemeanor.
The gun was a 9mm, loaded with two bullets. It was found in the backpack of the passenger at the security checkpoint on Wednesday, Sept. 4.
Maybe it’s a misdemeanor because of the size of the gun? To see the gun, and the perp, click here.
Actually, madam, your money isn’t good anywhere in the United Kingdom. As a personal injury lawyer, but for his alter ego, this is not something The Juice would normally come across. No doubt Ms. Louise Munro would not have come across a law like the Coinage Act of 1971 either, had she not tried to pay for her gas with, well, coins! As reported by The Liverpool Echo:
Staff at the BP garage in Queens Drive, West Derby, told 24-year-old Louise Munro that they could not accept the 1p and 2p pieces she offered after her bank card failed because of a system failure.
Ms Munro, from Roby, who went home to raid her piggy bank for the loose change to settle her debt, was even told by police over the phone that the garage was correct in refusing the payment after a row broke out.
According to the Royal Mint, 1p and 2p coins are legal only if something is bought for just 20p or less.
Under the little-known Coinage Act 1971 it is illegal to use 21 or more 1p pieces in a single transaction.
A truly brilliant customer relations move by the gas station…
Ms Munro, who denied she was being vindictive by handing over coppers, said: “I admit it’s annoying to have to count pennies but that’s all I had and I’m not the kind of person to leave a debt hanging. I wanted to settle it as soon as I could.
“As far as I was concerned it is legal tender – it has the Queen’s head on it and why would they produce them unless they could be used?”
Seems reasonable. After all, it’s only £30, and it’s not like it’s a daily occurrence.
The dispute happened on Sunday afternoon after Ms Munro’s RBS debit card was rejected because of the bank’s system troubles.
And it was brought about through no fault of Ms. Munro!
… she returned three hours later with two money bags filled with carefully counted-out coppers.
But after the garage searched the internet to see if they could accept the change they stumbled across a newspaper article from earlier this year telling of an accountant who was sued for trying to pay an £800 bill in coppers. There they learned of the Coinage Act 1971.
A phone call to the police also confirmed that Ms Munro’s payment contravened the Coinage Act.
[Garage worker Mugeen] Mohammed said the petrol station has not cashed the loose change and wants Ms Munro to return with an alternative form of payment.
Really? People are probably just lining up to buy gas at such a customer-friendly station.
Merseyside Police confirmed they were contacted over the dispute but said it was a “civil matter”.
Whew. No jail time. You’ll find the source here.
Yeah, yeah. Someone has to review vanity plate applications in every state. Of course, what is approved and what isn’t never seems to make a whole lot of sense. If you want to see A TON of plates requested in Florida and whether they were accepted or rejected, click here. Here’s a sampling, as reported by WTSP.com:
While G8TR H8R, G8TR H8R2, G8R H8, G8RS SUK, and G8R PIMP were all rejected, G8TR HTR was approved in 2007.
While OLD FART was rejected, HORNMAN was approved.
While GUN PLAY was rejected, GUN SAFE was approved.
While BIG TURD was rejected, BG JONSN was approved.
Unfortunately for Rays fans, neither SOX-H8TR nor YKS SUK was approved.
So how are these momentous decisions made?
“(We review) things that would be generally objectionable,” said Department of Highway Safety & Motor Vehicle (DHSMV) spokesperson Leslie Palmer. “Things dealing with race (and) things…of a blatant sexual nature.”
Before a license plate is rejected, the majority of a special DHSMV committee must indicate it could be offensive to a large group of people. Then, one of the agency heads still must uphold the committee’s findings.