Articles Posted in Juice Drops

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drinks drunk

How drunk was he? Pretty darned drunk. Per The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Authorities received a call from a Kingston Court homeowner who reported that a man she did not know had walked into her bedroom.

Uh-oh.

Police responded to the home and found [Ryan] Maszczak [35] asleep in a bed, according to a release.

“Maszczak was intoxicated and appeared to have walked into the wrong residence,” police said in the release.

Oops. The charges?

He was arrested [for criminal trespass] and later released on $1,000 personal recognizance bail. He will be arraigned Aug. 9 at the 9th Circuit Court, Merrimack District Division.

Can’t think of a defense for this one, although to be fair to Mr. Maszczak, The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer.

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no spitting spit

A Minnesota man was thinking no such thought as he got ready to … spit! And he paid the price. As reported by www.kare11.com (Minneapolis):

“I was walking to get some pizza with some buddies,” Thomas said.

The 21-year-old said he was getting over an illness and he spit as he was walking. He quickly learned that’s illegal in Minneapolis.

He must have been really surprised when the police officer warned … wait, he didn’t get a warning?

Police officers driving by in Dinkytown cited him for spitting, which carries a hefty fine. According to the city ordinance if you spit on sidewalks, bus or public areas it’s a $115 misdemeanor.

That could fill the coffers pretty fast, assuming the miscreants pay.

Thomas calls the law “wacky” but he’s sucking it up will pay the fine.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Thomas.

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pills drugs

You know how when you watch TV shows about jail or prison, the joints are filled with contraband? Well, it’s true. Some prisons have such a problem with prisoners using cell phones that they have to jam them! As for drugs in the joint, here’s an example, as reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, NY).

St. Lawrence County Sheriff deputies say they charged a St. Lawrence County Correctional Facility inmate with felonies for allegedly selling drugs while locked up.

Matthew J. Hough is charged with fourth-degree criminal sale of a controlled substance and first-degree promoting prison contraband, both felonies.

Deputies said he was allegedly found in possession of a narcotic drug and allegedly provided it to other inmates.

Hough was arraigned in Canton Town Court and sent back to the jail, deputies said.

Here’s the source.

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turtle

Fans of the Maryland Terrapins have a saying: Fear the Turtle. In this case, it has to be altered slightly: Fear the Turtle’s Owner.  As reported by The Palm Beach Post:

On Tuesday morning, Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies were called to the 500 block of West Kalmia Drive, just east of Old Dixie Highway between Northlake Boulevard and Park Avenue in Lake Park.

[Marie] Seymour [age 53] and her boyfriend were drinking when he said he would harm her turtle and allegedly came after her, according to her recount of the events. The turtle’s name was not released.

You did not just threaten the lady’s turtle. Are you insane?

Seymour said that in defense, she took out her knife and stabbed him, according to the report. It’s not clear where Seymour stabbed her boyfriend.

When deputies arrived, the boyfriend told authorities he did not want Seymour to go to jail.

While he was treated for his injuries at a hospital in Palm Beach Gardens, Seymour was taken to jail for booking.

The charges?

Marie Seymour faces charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. She was released from the Palm Beach County Jail under supervised conditions.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

For offenses involving socks, two British men were sentenced to 18 months in jail (for “conspiring to commit acts of gross indecency”), and put on the sex offenders’ registry for 10 years.  Per The Southport Visiter:

Two men swindled hundreds of people in Southport out of their socks back in the 1990s.

How do you “swindle” folks out of socks?

Claiming to be collecting the socks for good causes, the men approached unsuspecting victims in the resort’s bars and clubs and paid revellers up to £5 for their footwear.

Creepy.

They made sure to take pictures of the victims with their socks and then meticulously tagged each pair with the donor’s name before wrapping them in sandwich bags.

Creepier. Guess what the police found at one of the dude’s flat?

… 4,000 pairs in binbags in a cupboard. Officers described their astonishment when they found they had to wade through an 18 inch deep “carpet” of smelly socks. “They were everywhere and anywhere,” an officer said.

“They were all over the furniture, hanging from lampshades and even in the microwave, frying pan and cooker.”

“It was like there had been an explosion in a sock factory and socks had blown all over the place. In my 25 years with the police I have never seen anything like it.”

Yikes.

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cell phone mobile selfie

A New Zealand doctor took a number of photographs of his … genitalia, with his cell phone. You might ask, “Why?” According to the judge, the reasons “still remain largely inexplicable.” Our doctor, whose name the court has not released, tried to send the photos to a female friend with the caption “before.” (I don’t think we’ll ever know what “after” would have been.) Well, the e-mail address was incorrect, so it bounced back. When the doctor tried to delete the photos, he caused them to be archived!

Another sexually explicit e-mail the doctor sent led to the discovery of the “self-portrait.” An Employment Court proceeding followed and, as they say in New Zealand, the doctor was sacked. He appealed. How do you think he fared?

He won! The appellate court held that the dismissal process was flawed and that the dismissal was unjustified.

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squirt gun

Minnesota man Scott Wagar had enough. His house had been getting hit for 7 years. Per wcco.com:

Wagar never used to have a problem with homecoming traditions, until he became one. Years ago he caught a group of Willmar High School students trying to cover his house in toilet paper and he made them clean it up. Since then, the pranksters have been coming back for more.

“They come with ketchup, and peanut butter, and eggs and toilet paper,” said Wagar.

So Mr. Wagar decided to fight back.

This year, Wagar borrowed a pair of night vision goggles from his son and waited outside. It wasn’t long before he saw a group of about 20 kids approaching his house from the east, through a soybean field. He confronted them and asked them to leave. They refused and began throwing eggs at him. That’s when Scott unleashed his secret weapon.

“I figured that fox urine against eggs was probably equal force, and so I should be okay,” said Wagar.

Using a Super Soaker squirt gun, Wagar sprayed the teens with fox urine. One teen grabbed him around the neck, and when he wouldn’t let go, Wagar bent his finger back.

Question: Where do you get fox urine, let alone enough to fill a Super Soaker? Regardless, though sentiment in town seems to be on Mr. Wagar’s side, he was charged with 5th degree assault for spraying the little miscreants, and other offenses. Per this article, the charges against Mr. Wagar were dismissed.

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middle finger flip flipping bird

While many police officers in the United States will arrest you for flipping them off, the courts have consistently held that doing so is protected by the First Amendment. There is nothing offering one such protection in Dubai, as an Iranian woman found out. As reported by gulfnews.com:

A businesswoman was sentenced to a month in jail for flashing her middle finger at two policemen after dining out with friends in a five-star hotel.

They said she had been drinking too. Her defense?

N.I. pleaded innocent claiming that she bit her nails and scratched her finger due to a skin disease that she suffers from when the policemen “confusingly thought she flashed her finger in their face”

… and

The defendant claimed that she didn’t drink liquor and alleged that the food she had at the hotel was cooked in liquor.

Okay. Your evidence?

Sources close to the case told Gulf News that N.I. provided the court with a medical report confirming that she suffers from psoriasis.

The report said she remains under treatment because she suffers itchiness in her hands and legs.

And the prosecution?

Records said the policemen spotted N.I. jumping into the backseat of a car and flashed her middle finger in their face.

The policemen chased the vehicle that carried the defendant for two kilometres then asked the driver to follow them to the nearest police station.

N.I. was sent for examination. She tested positive for liquor.

Ma’am?

When asked about the findings, she said: “The liquor in my blood must have been there because the food at the hotel was cooked in liquor.”

What’s cooked is her goose. In addition to the 30 days in jail …

The court also fined N.I. Dh3,000 for consuming liquor and she will be deported after serving her term.

You’ll find the source here.

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squirrel squirrels

Come on. Zombies are so slow and easy to kill. But squirrels? Those little varmints are fast.  As reported at WashingtonPost.com

Ashburn [Virginia] , Partlow Road, Oct. 21. A caller reported that a squirrel was chasing and attacking children on a playground. An animal control officer observed the squirrel gather food and store it under a swing set. There was no sign of aggression. The officer told people there about wildlife hibernation habits.

Too much coffee? Too much TV? Too many shrooms? Anyway, here’s the source.