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Even those among you who think that words like “shit”are “bad” words should concede that they are okay to use when they are integral to the story.  Somehow “contents of the septic tank” just doesn’t get the point across like “shit” does. Anyway, as reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

Stanley Lee Dixon, 52, of 5153 Carolina Highway, Denmark, pleaded guilty on Monday to littering over 500 pounds.

Circuit Judge Maite Murphy sentenced Dixon to one year of incarceration at the S.C. Department of Corrections, but reduced it to six months of probation.

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united nations building
Sir, your library card! Now! [Shredder sound in the background.] As reported by The Plymouth Herald:

Officers were called to the on campus library around 12pm after a 41-year-old man had reportedly exposed himself to a female library user.

A police spokesperson said: “Police received reports a male had indecently exposed himself to a female library user at Plymouth University.

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The “lesson” this teacher was trying to teach will – with absolute certainty – never be forgotten by seven South Korean elementary school students. As reported by The Korea Times:

Police Monday investigated an instructor at a rural South Korean boarding facility who bit a hamster to death and swallowed it in front of children.

Yikes! Why?

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palm tree
A cautionary tale: If anyone offers you flakka, DON’T TAKE IT! As reported by

A Florida man believed to be high on flakka, a drug that authorities say is sweeping the state, attacked a Brevard police officer after twice being shocked with a Taser while he repeatedly saying he was God, according to officials.

Kenneth Crowder, 41, of Melbourne, was arrested Friday on charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer.

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Warning: Not safe if you are about to eat.  There are some things you just don’t do in public.  This is damn near the top of the list. As reported by The Daily Mail:

London Midland has vowed to give police CCTV images of a ‘disgusting’ passenger suspected of defecating inside a train carriage as it traveled through the Birmingham area.

The passenger who made the awful discovery said the smell was so bad that it forced the operator to cancel the service from Lichfield Trent Valley to Longbridge.

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beers beer
Dishonesty is just so, so tiresome. Just tell the truth. Make The Juice happy. But no, this gent, like just about everyone else who gets busted for an alcohol-related offense, only had “a couple of beers.” He’s either a cheap drunk or a bald-faced liar. What do you think? Per The Moultrie News police blotter:

Happy hour ended early for one man who was found about 6 p.m., passed out behind a department store, a police report said. According to the report, police arrived and found that the man reeked of alcohol and had “soiled his pants.” He said he only had a couple of beers at the bar around the corner and was trying to walk to his house in a nearby neighborhood which was actually about 8 miles away.

Emergency personnel told police the man had fallen in the bushes and was disoriented and confused, according to the report. They said he was not making any sense. He was arrested for public drunkenness and his father was called to come pick up his belongings.

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Regular Juice readers would not be surprised to hear about someone hiding drugs in a body cavity. However, the circumstances of this perp’s secreting of the drugs are a bit unusual. As reported by;

Borough police who stopped a man and his pregnant passenger on a minor motor-vehicle violation Friday suspected there were drugs in their car.

But they didn’t find anything until they viewed videotape taken by a surveillance camera which caught the woman in the back seat of the police cruiser shoving what turned out to be 89 bags of heroin into a body cavity, police said.

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Is it worse to burgle your family or strangers? That’s for you to decide. But this particular theft was particularly uncool (and gross) regardless.  As reported by (St. Louis, Missouri):

The victim of a burglary says her father’s ashes were stolen and that two relatives and a third man are to blame after they thought they were stealing cocaine.

“I just couldn’t believe that they would take the ashes,” said Debora Matthews, the victim of the robbery. “But you know, they were kids and I guess just stupid.”

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restroom bathroom
Nobody likes it when the moment passes. (If you don’t get this reference, you missed a hilarious Seinfeld episode.) Nevertheless, some discretion is called for, especially if you are in a federal building!  As reported by

An Illinois man who used indoor potted plants as toilets was sent to jail for five days.

The Omaha Police Department says officers responded to a report of a 32-year-old man defecating on a potted plant in the waiting room area of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services building in Omaha. A building supervisor says he then urinated on another plant.

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If you wash your clothes in a laundromat, you might not want to read this. You have been warned. As reported by

Waterbury police say the teenager who urinated in a washing machine has turned himself in. Police released surveillance video Monday showing the suspect standing on a chair and relieving himself.

After the video aired, police received tips that led them to the 15-year-old boy. He could face charges in juvenile court or have his case referred to a restorative justice panel.