Articles Posted in Get A Life

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Okay, The Juice ran out of material, so he just flat-out made this up. Ha! No, loyal readers, sadly this is a true story. From The Toronto Star, we have this story of a tremendous waste of government resources.

On a Monday evening in October 2011, 62-year-old Kathryn David returned to her home near Mt. Pleasant Rd. and Eglinton Ave. She pulled into the shared driveway between her home and that of her neighbour, Kevin Cooper. According to the judge’s decision, she got out of her car to move Cooper’s hose that went along the side of Cooper’s house and under a tall wooden gate to the backyard. Eventually, she tugged on the hose, causing it to catch on a patio chair in Cooper’s backyard and tear.

No big thing, you might think? What if The Juice told you this, this awful act was caught on videotape? Right, still no big thing, or … was it?

The incident was caught on video surveillance cameras set up by Cooper and he called the police to report property damage. David was then handcuffed and taken to a police station in the back of police car, says her lawyer, Erec Rolfe.

What? Why?

That is standard procedure, says Toronto Police spokesperson Victor Kwong, adding that “if the public wants us to be police and not be judge and jury, we go ahead with the charge regardless of dollar amount. And then it’s up to the courts to decide whether to mediate this or go to trial with it.”

The Juice isn’t blaming the cops, just the geniuses who set up this ridiculous, overly-inclusive procedure.

“The criminal charges were laid against our neighbour following a detailed police investigation and an independent decision by the Crown prosecutor to pursue those charges,” said Cooper and his wife Sylvia by email late Tuesday night.

So what happened?

“Fortunately for the Toronto Police Service, the Supreme Court of Canada has said that stupidity in relation to the law and negligence is not a case for malicious prosecution.” said Provincial Court Justice William Wolski before dismissing the charge, according to a transcript. “Why these charges were laid is still a mystery to me.”

Next case! Here’s the source, including a photo of the scene of the crime.

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Prison? Marry this boy? Prison? Marry this boy? This is just so wrong. As reported by

A school teacher in North Carolina had sex with a 15-year-old boy, but she avoided going to prison because she married him.

42-year-old Leah Gayle Shipman waited until her divorce was final, then married Johnny Ray Ison six days later. By that time, Ison was 17, and his mother had to give permission since her son was still a minor.

Shipman was facing 15 years in prison on charges of statutory rape; but now, under North Carolina law, Ison can’t be compelled to testify against his new wife.

Without his testimony, prosecutors have no case.


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Craigslist is a great resource. However, as has been demonstrated all too often, it’s susceptible to abuse by all kinds of strange and bad folks. As reported by The Union Leader:

A Hooksett man with a history of faking a brain injury to get home care workers to change his diaper has been indicted for his latest alleged ruse in Hampton.

Eric Carrier, 24, is facing a single count of attempted indecent exposure and lewdness for his encounter with a home care worker in Hampton on Sept 12. A Rockingham County grand jury handed up the charge while deliberating earlier this month in superior court, according to an indictment made public this week.

Carrier allegedly responded to an advertisement the woman posted on the website, claiming he was a 22-year-old disabled man. When the two met in Hampton, Carrier claimed he needed help changing his soiled diaper in an attempt to expose himself to the woman, police said.

As for the other charges …

Carrier was charged last year by Hooksett police with indecent exposure for soliciting five other women by posing as a disabled person on Craigslist, according to police. He was convicted of indecent exposure on July 30, police said.

Court documents suggest that Carrier may already be negotiating a plea deal following his latest arrest. A conviction in his latest case could land him in state prison for up to 3½ to seven years. It’s unclear whether he may face additional punishment for a subsequent conviction.

Hampton police say Carrier claimed he could not control his bowel movements due to a brain injury. A 30-year-old Nashua woman who met Carrier on Sept. 12 grew suspicious of his behavior and later notified police, according to a court complaint.

Hooksett police said they received reports from several other women during their investigation last year, but could not go forward with those cases because they were beyond the statute of limitations. Carrier will be arraigned on his latest charge in Rockingham County Superior Court on Jan. 31.

Looks like he’ll be out of commission for a while. Here’s the source, including a photo.

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Sometimes “fans” truly are “fanatics.” Something happened during the Falcons-Seahawks game this weekend that set a strange chain of events in motion. Per

According to an arrest affidavit, the family was watching the game when the 56-year-old Crawford made rude comments about an unidentified player. That led to a family argument and his threatening other people in the house. The argument continued outside where, according to the affidavit, he was quoted as saying he was going to kill everyone “by breaking their necks and spitting on their grave.

Whoa there buddy. How do you get from comments about a player to spitting, er, mass murder?

He allegedly spit on someone just before police arrived and arrested him [for domestic battery] at 2:45 p.m. at the home in the 1300 block of Southeast Floresta Drive.

Thank goodness he just did the spitting part.

On Monday he remained in jail under a $1,500 bail bond.

Click here for the source.

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With everything that’s available on the internet, legally, do you really need to do this to people? This is just creepy. As reported in The Kennebec Journal (Maine):

The arrest [of William Tibbals, 31, of Pepperal Street] followed a long investigation triggered by reports by customers that a man with a camera in his shoe was capturing images up women’s skirts, said Scarborough Police Detectives.

Can you believe people noticed a guy with a camera in his shoe, hovering around females with skirts? Who would have guessed that? The charges?

… a felony count of visual sexual aggression against a child under 12 and multiple counts of violating privacy.

Tibbals is being held at the Cumberland County Jail. 

You’ll find the source here, including a mug shot.

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Hey lady, get a life. If you were so offended by what you thought this guy was doing, why did you follow him? For the children? As reported by

A 34-year-old woman told Port St. Lucie police she saw a man in his vehicle in a plaza on Southwest Port St. Lucie Boulevard. He was “making an up and down motion in the area of his crotch,” a recently released police report states.

The woman didn’t see his genitals but believed the man was masturbating. He started to circle the parking lot, and she began following him and called police.

Get a hobby! Or is being a busy body your hobby? Or is it keeping the world safe from masturbators?

He noticed the woman looking at him and stopped.

Police spoke to the man, also 34, who explained “he got the urge to scratch his testicles,” a report states.

“He raised his right short leg up and began to scratch himself because of a rash … on his testicles,” a report states.

The proof is in the, um, er, uh …

He asked whether he could show police the rash to prove he wasn’t engaged in anything else.

He “presented” his testicles to an officer, who verified the rash.

Police determined the man, who has no criminal history, did not expose himself and found no proof that he was performing lewd acts in public.

Think this one is making its way around the police precinct?

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Some people just seem intent on sucking all of the joy out of life. Here’s a case in point, as reported by The Seattle Times:

The staff at Lafayette Elementary School in West Seattle has decided to uphold its decision not to allow students to dress up for Halloween this year, according to a Seattle Public Schools spokeswoman.

The decision, however, was centered around the costumes being a distraction during an abbreviated day of school, not around the possibility of offending students from other cultures, or offending some students’ religious beliefs, district spokeswoman Teresa Wippel said in an email sent out this morning.

So you made a bad decision, reviewed it, and decided to stick with it. Brilliant!

“Staff suggested that since Halloween falls this year on a half day of school, the school not allow costumes. It takes students a while to change into their costumes, and students are distracted, taking away from the already limited instructional time,” Wippel wrote.

“The principal said that staff also had a conversation about cultural issues that will also be discussed further, but the reason for the final decision about costumes this year was due to instructional time.”

As Colonel Sherman Potter of M.A.S.H. was fond of saying, “horse hockey!” In keeping with the teachings of Otter in Animal House (“We’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!”), one parent is somewhat defiant.

Although Halloween has its roots as a religious observance, parent Ken Allen said it’s pretty clearly a secular holiday now, and that’s what he’s hearing from other parents.

Allen’s daughter plans to dress up as Hunger Games protagonist Katniss Everdeen, and will get in costume after school if the costume ban holds.

Wippel said there is no district-wide policy on costumes. The decision to allow costumes is up to individual schools.

At least he’s a straightforward joysucker. Here’s the source.

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Just the other day, The Juice blogged about a cancer faker. That lady had nothing on Ms. Lori E. Stilley. As reported by The Gloucester County Times (New Jersey) at

Making more than $3,000 from sales of an e-book was far from the only thing a township woman did to rake in tens of thousands of dollars from lying about having cancer, authorities allege.

According to a statement released from the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office, the scheme began and ended in 2011.

Lori E. Stilley, 40, told family and friends in February that she had been diagnosed with Stage III bladder cancer, authorities said.

She told them she’d undergone radiation and chemotherapy treatment, prosecutors said, posting the same on Facebook and her personal website.

In April, Stilley allegedly said the cancer had progressed to Stage IV. She told her loved ones she didn’t have health insurance, although authorities said investigation would show she’d never been diagnosed with cancer.

Surely if you’re telling folks your cancer is Stage IV, you have an end game, right? Well … Anyway, in the interim …

The friends and relatives organized several efforts to raise money for Stilley, including a T-shirt sale. A fundraising banquet in July 2011 raised $8,400. Another fundraiser and cash raffle that summer brought in another $1,000.

Stilley sold her e-book about struggling daily with cancer – posted for sale in October – for $14.99. She reportedly told people she wanted to marry her boyfriend before she died.

So again, loved ones came through for her. They planned the wedding that took place within a week and a half. The organizers haggled the wedding hall price down to $500 and covered the cost on their own.

Then there were the donations of gift cards totaling more than $1,600.

One friend even created a meal calendar – posted on Stilley’s website – by which kind souls prepared and delivered meals to her. They scheduled dates for deliveries months ahead of time.

That’s one helluva support group this lady had.

But the alleged scheme wouldn’t include a faked death. In November, when she was supposedly due soon for hospice care, Stilley posted on her Facebook page a message saying she was feeling better and believed a miracle was coming.

A miracle? That’s the exit plan for your despicable scheme? And you thought people would buy it? A miracle?

When she postponed hospice, her long-loyal friends became suspicious.

Following investigation, Stilley surrendered Wednesday morning, authorities said, at the Delran Township Police Department.

She was charged theft by deception and was released after posting $25,000 bail.

Here’s the source, including a photo of Ms. Stilley.

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Surely you will agree with The Juice that this food company has crossed the line. Fortunately, there’s a watchdog group who is on it. As reported by

The Prosecutor General’s Office received an official complaint from the public organization – “Russian People’s Council“. Its activists accused Wimm Bill Dann (food company specializing in dairy products) in promotion of homosexuality.

Reason: packages of milk and yogurt contain the image of rainbow, which according to the head of People’s Council is “the universal symbol of LGBT movement and therefore is the open propaganda of vice“.

No! Not … a … rainbow!

Complaint was filed by the Saint-Petersburg section of the organization. It should be noted that in the beginning of this year Saint Petersburg passed the law banning propaganda of “sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality or transgenderism among minors”. In its current draft the violation of this ban is punishable by fine.

Word is the group is working on a super-secret device that will zap rainbows whenever they appear in nature … Here’s the source.

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This woman who pretended to have breast cancer to raise money for a certain elective surgery deserves some jail time. Think she got it? Read on, as reported by The Arizona Republic:

The Phoenix woman accused of pretending to have cancer to raise money for breast implants was sentenced to a year in jail and three years of probation Wednesday.

Jami Lynn Toler, 27, accepted a plea agreement in Maricopa County Superior Court in Phoenix. The agreement included paying restitution in addition to her sentence. The jail time began Wednesday.

Well done, your Honor. That sentence works for The Juice.

Toler pleaded guilty last month in Superior Court to theft, officials said. She told her former boss and her family that she needed a double mastectomy and that breast reconstruction was uninsured, according to court records.

Authorities said Toler raised more than $8,000.

What about the money?

Medical records had shown she did not have cancer and paid for the operation in cash.

So, so low. Here’s the source.