Articles Posted in Extra Pulp

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monkey

Tarzan was raised by apes, and looked how well he turned out! Case closed! Maybe, but not so fast. As reported by The Grand Island Indepedent (Nebraska):

A situation in which two monkeys were playing with a baby, as shown in a Facebook video, does not violate state standards for child neglect or abuse, said Sgt. James Laudenklos of the Merrick County Sheriff’s Department.

The video was shot in a Merrick County home not far from Grand Island. After seeing the video on Facebook, someone reported it to the state Department of Health and Human Services, concerned about the safety of the child.

Laudenklos, who spoke to the people involved, said the situation does not meet the criteria for neglect or abuse.

Because the child does not live with the owners of the monkeys, it appears to be a one-time incident, he said. The owners of the monkeys have been advised not to let the monkeys play with the child, he said.

The Department of Health Human Services will not pursue the matter, Laudenklos said.

You’ll find the source here.

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beers beer

Dishonesty is just so, so tiresome. Just tell the truth. Make The Juice happy. But no, this gent, like just about everyone else who gets busted for an alcohol-related offense, only had “a couple of beers.” He’s either a cheap drunk or a bald-faced liar. What do you think? Per The Moultrie News police blotter:

Happy hour ended early for one man who was found about 6 p.m., passed out behind a department store, a police report said. According to the report, police arrived and found that the man reeked of alcohol and had “soiled his pants.” He said he only had a couple of beers at the bar around the corner and was trying to walk to his house in a nearby neighborhood which was actually about 8 miles away.

Emergency personnel told police the man had fallen in the bushes and was disoriented and confused, according to the report. They said he was not making any sense. He was arrested for public drunkenness and his father was called to come pick up his belongings.

A proud day for dad. Here’s the source.

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hov

Carpooling is fantastic. It’s even better when your passenger is a real person! As reported by The New York Daily News:

 “The Most Interesting Man in the World” may be good company, but he’s a bad carpool passenger.

A Washington State trooper couldn’t resist snapping a photo — and issuing a ticket — after he pulled over a man in the HOV lane Tuesday using the famous face as a phony passenger.

“The trooper immediately recognized it was a prop and not a passenger,” Trooper Guy Gill told the Daily News. “As the trooper approached, the driver was actually laughing.”

That’s because the HOV cheat used a cardboard cutout of the Dos Equis beer pitchman, adorned with a polo shirt and wearing his seat belt.

You’ll find the source, and a photo of the “passenger,” here. 

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dogs puppies dog

People are always going on about how loyal dogs are. Well, I’ll will go with this guy over the loyalest of dogs. Why? Well, as reported by The Colorado Springs Police Department:

On Saturday 03/21/2015 at approximately 0123 hours, Officers were dispatched to the 2100 block of Eddington Way reference an animal complaint. The reporting party advised that he had shot three pit bulls that were attacking his dogs. Officers arrived on scene and found the three pit bulls deceased in the RP’s garage. Investigation revealed that the pit bulls entered the garage from the back yard via a dog door and attacked the RP’s dog. The RP, who was asleep inside, heard the commotion and went to the garage. He then retrieved a handgun and shot the three pit bulls.

Yes,  your author is also wondering what three pit bulls were doing just roaming around the neighborhood.

(Your author, The Juice, is a personal injury attorney who handles, among other things, dog bite cases, in Maryland, Washington, DC, and Virginia.)

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short shorts

Sure, it seems like a stupid defense. But it does seem to work every now and then. Anyway, as reported by The Florida Times-Union (at jacksonville.com):

A Jacksonville police officer disciplined for a widely circulated picture of him in uniform closely embracing his girlfriend is in trouble again.

This time Officer Irving Diaz let a “scantily” dressed woman in “short shorts” drive his police car to a Southside Hooters in October.

You can read a lot more, and see a photo, here. 

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bank building

Surely there have been plenty of bank robberies that have benefited from the help of an insider.  But have you ever heard of a bank robbery where all of the participants were insiders? Well, you have now. As reported by emirates247.com:

Staff at a branch of Afghanistan’s central bank in southern Kandahar province may have got away with as much as 81 million Afghanis ($1.4 million) when they robbed their own bank and ran, an official said on Saturday.

That is a truckload of Afghanis!

The Kandahar raid is believed to have been carried out by a senior official at the bank, an employee of nine years, with the help of his son and brother-in-law who were also on staff, according to Azimi.

Think they’ll be apprehended?

The robbery at the branch in Spin Boldak near the border with Pakistan was discovered on Thursday and investigators believed the group has escaped to Pakistan.

Fuhgeddaboutit. Here’s the source.

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red cup

When making a decision, one component is often something like this: “What is the worst thing that will happen to me if I do this?” This gent certainly did not make that calculation before he made this recent decision, as reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

Potsdam police report that at 2:08 a.m. Thursday, an officer saw [MD] walking on Main Street with an open container of an alcoholic beverage.

Hey, not so fast with the jumping to conclusions. Okay, so it was probably the right conclusion, but still …

“Patrol made contact with [MD] who refused to obey the officer’s orders which was to stop walking away from the officer. [MD] was then escorted to the ground by patrol and was placed into custody. [MD] was transported to the Potsdam Police Department where he was processed and released on appearance tickets for the listed charges,” then department’s blotter report said.

Doh! Should’ve just taken the open container citation! That could have been the worst thing that happened to him. But it was not to be.

[MD], 28, of Potsdam, [was] charged with resisting arrest after allegedly refusing an officer’s order to stop walking away with a presumed open container of alcohol.

Oh, so now it’s “presumed” to be alcohol? Here’s the story.

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panty panties

In describing this woman as the “best panty thief ever,” The Juice is talking volume. But volume isn’t everything. You know how athletes are often characterized by their level of field awareness? Well, this woman has absolutely NO camera awareness, which will probably lead to her apprehension. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

A woman pilfered 785 pairs of panties at the Victoria’s Secret at Lenox Square Mall on Saturday, Officer Ralph Woolfolk said Thursday.

The suspected thief put the panties in three shopping bags in a raid on the store lasting two hours and absconded, Woolfolk said.

Retail for the panties was estimated at more than $10,000.

Atlanta detectives hope the public can help and have released surveillance photos of the suspect, described as a black woman wearing a red hat, a white and black T-shirt, a black jacket, blue jeans, and red and white tennis shoes.

Several things come to mind. Two hours, and no store employees noticed anything unusual? 785 pairs of panties worth over $10,000 fit in those 3 bags? Clearly the cost of the fabric is not a factor in determining the cost of the panties.  Or perhaps there is an inverse relationship between the amount of fabric used and the cost.  Click here for the source, which includes multiple photos of Ms. X in action.

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suitcase travel airport woman

Sure, maybe you get 2-for-1 occasionally. Hell, maybe you go to a super sale now and again, and with multiple markdowns, get something for 90% off the original price. But you will never, ever get the deals this woman gets when she travels. Via kstp tv (Minneapolis, Minnesota):

ABC News reports “serial stowaway” Marilyn Jean Hartman [age 63] was arrested Monday in Florida. She’s accused of posing as a guest and checking into a resort property after boarding a flight to Jacksonville International Airport without a boarding pass.

Two questions: How the hell do you get through security without a boarding pass? How the hell do you get on the plane without a boarding pass?

After the flight landed in Florida, Hartman took a shuttle to the Omni Amelia Island Plantation Resort, where she checked in under a false name, according to a Nassau County Sheriff’s Office.

When the actual guest arrived, Hartman disappeared. Security found her the next day in a room that was being renovated, ABC News reports.

Working all the angles! The charges?

Hartman is charged with felony fraud and misdemeanor trespassing.

You probably already guessed that this was not her first rodeo.

Hartman has been arrested numerous times for similar offenses in previous years, including three arrests in August 2014.

Here’s the source, which includes a photo of Ms. Hartman.

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teach class classroom

If you have successfully beaten the system (way to go New Jersey!), and are getting paid on an ongoing basis, why would you take an on-the-books job? See, that’s how you get caught. As reported by NJ Advance Media for nj.com:

[Former Piscataway, New Jersey teacher] John Brishcar, 59, of Front Royal, Va., admitted he received the money [$248,960] after claiming in 2003 he could no longer work as a middle school teacher for the Piscataway School District due to “prolonged stress and chronic back pain,” the Attorney General’s Office said.

The application for disability was approved in 2004. By that time, Brishcar was working as a substitute teacher in West Virginia, and, in 2005, he accepted a full-time job as a sixth grade science teacher at Warren County Middle School in Front Royal. Brishcar has since been suspended from his Virginia job pending the outcome of the case.

Brishcar pleaded guilty to theft by deception before state Superior Court Judge Timothy Lydon in Mercer County. As part of the plea deal, he must repay $248,960 and will be permanently barred from public employment in New Jersey. In return, prosecutors will recommend he be sentenced to three years in prison.

Crooked and greedy! What a great combination of traits in an educator. Click here for the source, including a photo of Mr. Brishcar.