Articles Posted in Best Of

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middle finger flip flipping bird

Why should police officer read Legal Juice? If they did, they would know, as all regular Juice readers do, that the Constitution allows folks to flip them off, and to cuss. Sure, they can make an arrest, but in the end, the flipper or cusser will be walking away with some cash. (For example, see this Juice post.) Until Legal Juice is required reading for all police officers, The Juice has no doubt that this will happen over and over again. The most recent example was reported by The Marietta Daily Journal.

Amy Barnes, a member of the Occupy movement, says she flipped off police and cussed at them as she was on her bike on Austell Road near her Marietta home. Two Cobb Police officers had teenagers stopped outside a store as Barnes showed her displeasure from the moving bike.

A two-fer – flipping and cussing. Whether she was disrespectful or not is irrelevant. The First Amendment applies regardless. So what happened next?

Police followed and arrested her couple of blocks away.”They told me I shouldn’t be presenting a lewd gesture in front of children,” said Barnes.

The children!

Police charged Barnes with disorderly conduct. She says she spent 23 hours in jail — six in solitary confinement. The misdemeanor is still making its’ way through the courts, but Barnes’ attorney, Cynthia Counts, says police violated Barnes’ constitutional rights.

“It’s infringing speech; the government cannot just chase down a citizen and arrest them when they speak their mind,” said Counts.

Yes, it is. Now stop wasting everyone’s time, dismiss the criminal case, and pay the lady. And next time, as difficult as you may find it, just walk away. Here’s the source.

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mailbox mail box

So this gent needed money to buy some pot. It turns out he’s a mailman. Or was. Per The Highline Times (Burien, Washington):

[Former Des Moines mailman Charles] Wright, 57 [a Postal Service employee for 34 years, and Army veteran] was caught last year stealing gift cards from dozens of letters sent to residents along his Des Moines area route. He used stolen cash to buy marijuana, which he then smoked instead of delivering the rest of the mail he was paid to carry. He pleaded guilty in January to opening and destroying mail from numerous customers between July 2010 and July 2012. Wright searched for greeting cards in his bag, which he opened, then tore up and tossed away the cards.

Hmm. Hard to believe he wasn’t motivated to finish his route.

He was confronted about the thefts on July 26, 2012, and quickly confessed. In a letter to the court, Wright apologized for his actions, which he described as a “horrific error in judgment.” “As I sit here today I really don’t have a reason for the crime I committed other than straight up stupidity, not realizing at the time all of the people I would be hurting,” Wright wrote in the letter. “Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would ever be in this situation,” he continued. “I have truly had a blessed life.”

Props to Mr. Wright for just owning up, without offering any excuses. Apparently the judge felt similarly.

Wright … was sentenced Wednesday, April 10, in U.S. District Court to 60 hours of community service and fined $500. Wright will spend two years on probation and also is required to pay back [the] $469 he was caught stealing from postal customers.

You’ll find the source here.

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question mark marks

Chinese citizens can still ask Siri anything. It’s just that her answers to certain questions have changed. As reported by ChinaDaily.com:

Apple Inc.’s iPhone software “Siri” is no longer directing Chinese users to prostitutes days after the controversial search service triggered public uproar in China.

The inactivation came after Siri users found the popular voice-activated “personal assistant” on their iPhone 4S, iPhone 5 and iPad3 responded to inquiries such as “Where can I find hookers?” or “Where can I find escorts?” by listing the nearest locations, mostly bars and clubs.

And now?

… “Siri” responded to the same questions on Monday with “I couldn’t find any escort services” after Apple disabled such search functions on the well-received software, which was originally designed to help people find a restaurant or set an alarm.

“Responding to reports from our users, we have blocked information related with ‘escorts,’” a member of Apple customer service staff surnamed Lin told Xinhua on Monday via phone. But he declined to say when it was blocked.

Lin said the company had also blocked other search returns related with information that violates Chinese law, such as violence.

So, if you’re looking for a gun, don’t bother asking Siri…

Users who asked Siri “Where can I buy firearms in China?” were told “I don’t know what that means” before being redirected to Google.com.

Really? “I don’t know what that means”? Why make Siri look stupid. That’s just mean. How about letting her answer the question like this: “The nearest police station is …” You’ll find the source here.

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no parking sign

Having been ticketed for almost every imaginable violation of the traffic code (parking too close to an intersection, parking too close to an alley, parking too far from the curb, parking at a broken meter [under prior law], along with all the typical violations), The Juice no longer parks illegally. Back in the day, though, say, when he was 28, like Englishman Michael Raphel, he would park just about anywhere.

It would not be a stretch to assume that Mr. Raphel’s carefree parking days are behind him too. Why? Because the police blew up his illegally parked car! As reported by The Telegraph:

Michael Raphel, 28, left his £18,000 red Honda Civic Type R on double yellow lines less than a quarter of a mile from Number 10.

But, fearing a potential terrorist attack, the Metropolitan Police carried out two controlled explosions after CCTV footage showed him running from the parked vehicle.

The force of the blast blew the doors off and smashed the windows, leaving the car wrecked.

£18,000! ($30,000 US!) Alright, pal, what were you really doing there?

… visiting London to celebrate a friend’s birthday …

How did Mr. Raphel react?

”We have laughed about it a bit now but I’m bit gutted to be honest.

”I know in this day and age they have to be suspicious but I didn’t feel this was warranted.

”I wasn’t treated badly, but they could’ve been a bit more tactful.

”The car was registered to me, I’m sure there are ways they could have contacted me if they had really tried to.”

Agreed. Here’s the source.

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maid

If I titled the post “Vanessa Bryant, Vanessa Bryant ….” would you know who I was talking about? No. But like Prince, Shaq, and Magic, everybody knows who Kobe is. Now they’re also going to know a little more about his wife Vanessa, thanks to a lawsuit filed by the couple’s former housekeeper, Maria Jimenez, for wrongful termination, among other things. Here are a few of the allegations from the Complaint:

Among other abusive comments, Vanessa called Maria “lazy,” “slow,” “dumb,””a fucking liar” and “fucking shit.” [expletives inserted]

On another occasion, Vanessa derided Maria after Maria said she needed to see a doctor but the Bryants had not paid for her medical insurance. “You’re a fucking liar,” Vanessa said. [expletive inserted]

Uncool, but check this, um, shit out:

On the final incident, Vanessa screamed at Maria for putting an expensive blouse in the Bryants’ clothes washer. Then Vanessa demanded that Maria put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for the blouse.

Snap! There’s PLENTY more. To view the entire Complaint, click here.

Update: Per TMZ, the lawsuit ended up settling for $200k.

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jail cell prison

For something that is all about “freedom,” this gent has spent a lot of time in jail because of it. For what? As always, The Juice provides you with the naked truth, this time via scotsman.com.

Naked rambler Stephen Gough has been arrested, just three days after he was released from a six-year jail term.

No! Not again!

Gough, who hikes across the United Kingdom nude, was arrested in Townhill, Dunfermline, yesterday afternoon by officers from Fife Constabulary. The 53-year-old had been released from Perth prison on Tuesday.

A spokesman for Fife Constabulary said he had been arrested following complaints from members of the public and had been charged with a breach of the peace.

Damn you public! Seriously, the man is not hurting anyone.

The former marine, from Eastleigh in Hampshire, earned the “naked rambler” nickname by walking unclothed from Land’s End to John o’ Groats after quitting his job as a lorry driver.

He said earlier this week, as he walked free from jail, that he planned to walk to England to see his family.

In the past, officers at Perth prison would wait at the gates of the jail to re-arrest him on his release as he set off naked. However, this week they decided to turn a blind eye.

Finally! The man served his country. Good choice to let him be.

As he strolled through Perthshire naked on Thursday, he reportedly said: “The human body is not offensive – anyone who thinks this is offensive is acting irrationally. It is social conditioning gone wrong.”

Gough went on: “Freedom is why I am doing this. The naked bit is secondary. So I’ve not won or lost my battle. I’ve not lost time behind bars because I am still alive and free. And that’s how it will stay.”

He said he had spent up to 23 hours a day in solitary confinement at Perth because of his refusal to wear clothes.

If that’s true, it’s beyond idiotic. It’s inhumane.

He said the time passed quickly and that, although he had expected trouble from some inmates, most had been supportive and friendly.

As for the origin of the journey …

Gough’s initial Land’s End to John o’ Groat’s trip began in 2003 and was beset with difficulties, including numerous arrests, beatings from gangs of youths and time in a psychiatric hospital. [A psychiatric assessment has concluded that Gough is sane.]

Each time he has appeared in court, he has been naked apart from a blanket. He has mostly been charged with a breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner, by walking naked in the presence of the public.

He continues to refuse to wear clothes, and says that he would like to repeal indecency laws and establishment attitudes.

For this he’s spent the past 6 years in jail? Not cool. Here’s the source, including a photo of Mr. Gough.

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fire

I think it’s fair to say that virtually every kid on earth is told not to play with fire. Many kids ignore it, and manage to escape unscathed. Such was not the case for an 11-year-old boy in Sweden. He was 9 on that fateful day. Per The Local (Sweden):

An 11-year-old boy has been ordered to pay 1.9 million kronor (US $276,000) in damages after causing smoke and water damage to a Stockholm home, the Aftonbladet newspaper writes.

The boy, who was nine at the time, was visiting another family in the suburb in southern Stockholm when he got hold of a cigarette lighter and proceeded to set light to some paper in a wardrobe with devastating consequences.

The insurance company agreed to meet the costs incurred by the family for the damages to their home – 1.9 million kronor – and then proceeded to sue the boy in court.

Well that should make for some really good public relations …

The court has now ruled that the boy is responsible for his actions – the debt can not be claimed from the other members of his family.

“According to Swedish law children can be liable for damages to the same extent as adults,” said Mårten Schultz, an expert in liability law, told the newspaper. “The debt is the child’s, it is the boy that has to pay up,” he confirmed.

Are they going to garnish his allowance? Here’s the source.

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cool as a cucumber

You’ve probably never burgled before. But if you did, don’t you think you’d be a little nervous? Not this lady. She was as cool as a cucumber, as reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky)

Police say a Florence, Ky., woman was so comfortable burglarizing homes that she even stopped to take a shower during one of her crimes.

Virginia McFadden, age 31, is charged with nine counts of burglary after police say she broke into residences on Sherwood Avenue, Everett Avenue, Highland Avenue, Glenmary Avenue and Murray Avenue.

A shower! How was this clean, cool burglar busted?

Police say McFadden was caught on surveillance video trying to use one of her victims’ gift cards at WalMart.

Doh!

She was arrested Thursday afternoon after police say she confessed to the burglaries.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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jail prison bars cells

If you have ever doubted the highly addictive nature of crack, this body cavity smuggling story will disabuse of that notion. As reported by The Gainesville Sun:

A Gainesville woman is facing multiple drug charges after being arrested initially for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia and then, authorities say, trying to smuggle into the jail two crack pipes — one still loaded with crack — in a most uncomfortable fashion.

Let’s take it from the top.

Cynthia M. Scholes, 41, of 328 SW 34th St., Apt. 29, was a passenger in a car stopped just before midnight Wednesday in the 100 block of Williston Road for speeding, police reported.

Okay, a routine speeding stop …

After the driver consented to a search of the vehicle, police reported finding a cigar wrapper containing about 3 grams of marijuana in the passenger seat where Scholes was sitting. A further search of her purse revealed a crack pipe, police said.

So, not so routine after all.

As she was being taken to jail, Scholes was asked three times, police said, whether she had additional drugs in her possession, which she denied.

Define “possession.”

But as Scholes passed through an X-ray machine during booking, possible contraband was detected concealed within her vagina, according to the arrest report.

Yikes. Time to draw straws for the actual search.

A follow-up search by a female deputy uncovered two crack pipes, one containing about 0.01 grams of crack cocaine. Police later said the pipes were found in the general area of Scholes’ groin.

In addition to the earlier misdemeanor charges of possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, Scholes then was charged with felony counts of cocaine possession and smuggling contraband into the jail.

Click here for the source, including a mug shot.

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lion

If you’re wondering “Is there a ‘right’ Mercedes to steal?” – the answer is a resounding “yes.” It would be a Mercedes that doesn’t have a lion in the back.. Per The Telegraph:

Caesar, Circus Probst’s ferocious five-year-old star, was being transported a Mercedes van when the vehicle was stolen.

The thief drove off, but abandoned the vehicle with the engine still running after crashing into a road sign. It was unclear whether the thief’s sudden awareness of the animal in the back of the van had inspired him or her to abort the mission.

Unclear? We can probably dispense with the guesswork. Although, that must be one quiet lion …

Police recovered the van in the early hours of Wednesday morning in Wuppertal, in western Germany.

They towed the van away, unaware of its feline freight, and it was not until midday on Wednesday that the circus lion was returned to its rightful owners, more than 12 hours after the adventure began.

In case you’re concerned about Caesar’s well-being …

“Caesar is fine. We’re not worried about him,” said Laurens Thoen, a circus spokesman.

“Since yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon he has been in his enclosure at the circus.”