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If you want to get the police department’s attention, there are other ways. This way, though, will definitely work! As detailed in the Colorado Springs Police Department blotter:

On 01-09-14 at approximately 0756 hours, officers from the Sand Creek Division were dispatched to the Brunswick Zone, 999 N Circle Drive regarding a robbery. The investigation revealed an unknown male entered the business and verbally threatened the victim to open the cash register. The victim was unable to comply compelling the suspect to leave the area. The suspect is described as a white male in his mid- 30s, approximately 5’7 with a thin build, short blonde hair with a goatee, wearing a large black jacket and jeans. The investigation is continuing.

He got away! Or … did he?

***UPDATE***
On 01/10/2014 at approximately 12:51am, the Colorado Springs Police Department received a call from the pay phone at the 7-11 at 995 N. Circle Drive. The caller, later identified as 36 year old Paul Harrill, advised that he was upset that police had not come when he had attempted to rob the Brunswick Bowl earlier. Officers responded to the scene and located Harrill a short distance away from the 7-11. The investigation revealed that Harrill was upset with police officers and firefighters over a disturbance that he had been involved with on the evening of 01/09/2014. So a couple of hours later, he had called the police from the 7-11 pay phone complaining about the contact. When officers did not come to talk to him as soon as he wanted, Harrill went and attempted to rob the Brunswick bowl to get officers attention. When officers did not locate him after the attempted robbery, he was even more upset so he called back again on the morning of 01/10/2014. Harrill was booked into the El Paso County Criminal Justice Center on the charge of Attempted Robbery.

Think he’s satisfied with the police response now?

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hug

If more people were as suspicious as this “good samaritan,” The Juice would move to an island. Hell, he might just do it any way. As reported by khou.com:

A loving husband triggered a massive police presence on Tuesday at a Cricket Store in southeast Houston

Police received a call that someone in the store was being held against their will.

What did the man do to warrant all this?

Actually, the store manager was hugging her husband goodbye.

A passerby saw the embrace and thought she was being held hostage.

Next time, do us all a favor, and keep it to yourself!

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What exactly is HRUI? You have to ask? It’s horseback riding under the influence. The Juice has blogged daily for 7 years, and he hasn’t come across a similar case. Driving a motorized barstool under the influence? Yup. Driving riding mowers under the influence? Many times. Anyway, as reported by 9news.com (Denver, Colorado):

Patrick Schumacher is facing charges of riding a horse while under the influence of alcohol after witnesses saw the rider and horse occasional wandering into traffic on Broadway near the school Monday afternoon [in Boulder].

Officers observed that Schumacher was slumped to his right side as he crossed streets and forced pedestrians off the sidewalk. Police pulled the horse over, and Schumacher was arrested on suspicion of riding under the influence after he was given a sobriety test.

How do you pull a horse over? But wait, it gets a little stranger still.

Police say Schumacher had a small dog in his backpack and beer in one of his saddlebags. The horse and the dog have been impounded.

 Schumacher is also facing a misdemeanor animal cruelty charge as well as prohibited use of weapons and a reckless endangerment charge.

Wow. Lots of charges. In case you’re wondering where he was going with his dog and his beer …

Schumacher told officers that he was traveling from Larkspur to Bryce, Utah (a 600-mile journey by car) on his horse in an effort to attend his brother’s wedding.

Schumacher said he previously lost his driver’s license, so he decided to ride his horse to Utah.

Brilliant! You’ll find the source here.

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turtle slow road street

The Juice should have a separate flavor (check out the “flavors” [categories] on the right-hand side of Legal Juice) for posts like this: “What were you thinking?”  As reported by The Baxter Bulletin (Mountain Home, Arkansas)

Bull Shoals police officer David Chatman gave Stephen Lewis [age 47] a simple choice on Friday afternoon: take down a sign Lewis was putting up in Bull Shoals or receive a citation. (Lewis is the owner of Lewis Sign & Neon in Mountain Home.)

You should know that Mr. Lewis was driving a 30-foot-long, 12-foot-high bucket truck!

The incident started when Chatman informed Lewis that the sign he was erecting in Bull Shoals did not have a permit. Because sign owners didn’t have the proper documentation, Chatman told Lewis that the sign had to come down or he would receive a ticket.

Chatman described Lewis as uncooperative, saying he would not produce his driver’s license and would not get out of the truck when Chatman asked him to do so. Lewis eventually did get out of the truck and give his license to the police officer.

“I went and sat in my patrol car to write the citation out,” Chatman said. “At that time, I observed Mr. Lewis get into his truck, put it in drive and take off.”

Now that is a man with a plan.

Chatman informed his dispatcher that he was in pursuit of the large white truck heading east on Arkansas Highway 178. The pursuit was slow, never getting above 45 mph, according to authorities. Officers from Flippin, the Arkansas State Police and the Baxter County Sheriff’s Office headed out to various points in hopes of laying down spike strips.

45 mph? Shoot, even on his beater commuting bicycle, The Juice can almost hit that. Ok, maybe 30, going down a steep hill.

The pursuit ended at the intersection of AR Highway 178 and AR Highway 5 North when officers boxed Lewis in, forcing him to pull over.

Lewis was arrested by Bull Shoals police and taken to the Marion County jail, charged with fleeing and obstructing government operations, plus two additional misdemeanor offenses. He was released Friday night on $855 bond.

Think he’ll get the “proper documentation” next time? Here’s the source, including a photo of the getaway vehicle.

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question marks mark

The facts: Ms. Kirkland works at Morton’s of Chicago as the catering manager, where her boss is Mr. Hickey, the restaurant manager. According to the court, there is no genuine dispute as to the following (in other words, “it’s true”):

… that Hickey told Kirkland that she “needed to get laid”; that Hickey told Kirkland to “blow me”; that Hickey asked Kirkland out on a date, which she rejected, the most benign of Hickey’s acts; that Hickey called Kirkland a “fat pig”; that he placed his hand inside of Kirkland’s blouse; that he asked Kirkland about the color of her bra and whether it matched her panties; that he pulled up Kirkland’s dress; that he pulled his pants down and exposed his buttocks to Kirkland; that he put his hand all the way up Kirkland’s dress; and that he waved a vibrator at Kirkland and other women.

Quite the charmer. The test for whether he created a “hostile work environment is

whether a reasonable woman would find that Hickey’s conduct was sufficiently severe or pervasive to alter the conditions of employment and create an abusive work environment.

What do you think? Is Hickey a sexual harasser?

Continue reading →

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The Juice often blogs about the misuse of Tasers by the police, but not this time. No, this time the use appears to have been justified – it’s just that the officer’s aim was abysmal! As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

An unusual injury followed a confrontation in downtown Orlando last month when police tried to disarm a man outside One Eyed Jack’s sports bar, records show.

Rather than shoot Travis James Rodriguez for not dropping a Glock pistol on Dec. 8, a police officer used an electronic stun gun that delivers 50,000 volts through prongs tethered by tiny wires. One prong punctured Rodriguez’s right eyeball as the Taser automatically discharged a five-second shock, according to Orlando police.

Of course the bar was called One Eyed Jack’s.

“Rodriguez had removed the gun from his waistband and was holding it up at chest level, parallel to his body,” Officer Jason Portilla wrote of why he triggered his stun gun. “As a result of Rodriguez turning his body…one of the Taser prongs struck Rodriguez in the right eye. The other Taser prong struck …his left side.”

Rodriguez, 22, was admitted afterwards to Orlando Regional Medical Center for an undisclosed period of treatment. He was charged with carrying a concealed firearm and resisting arrest.

Rodriguez gave police a false address and could not be reached Friday. The incident report was recently released after a request by the Orlando Sentinel.

You’ll find the source here.

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handcuffs handcuffed

There’s just no way 48-year-old William King was going to get away with the multiple burglaries he recently committed. How do we know this? Per The Toronto Star:

A man burrowed his way through drywall into two salons where he stole cash, cigarettes and a lighter, had a smoke and a bathroom break.

Then he made his big mistake: He dropped his wallet.

Doh! And what was in the wallet?

…a City of Toronto paycheque, a credit card, a parole card.

If you live in Toronto, you might find this a little troubling:

In the hair salon, the police found fingerprints but somehow walked over the caper’s key clue. A store employee stumbled upon the wallet while sweeping up the damage.

Maybe the officer and the store employee should change jobs? Here’s the source.

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What’s up with the whole paddling thing? It makes about as much sense as any other hazing ritual. (“Thank you sir may I have another?”). Why all the “paddle” talk? A paddler from across the pond is in the soup because of his paddling ways. As reported by kotatv.com:

Police spokesperson, Tarah Heupel said Tuesday that 54-year-old [United Kingdom resident] David Spencer offered to sell the clerk a paddle on Saturday. When she turned him down, he told her she could spank him six times for one dollar. Finally, she allowed him to spank her once so he would leave her business but then he spanked her a second time without her permission.

Just couldn’t walk away David. Bad move. Why?

When she [the clerk] saw him again Monday, she alerted mall security.

Spencer told police he was trying to sell the paddles to keep traveling in the United States.

Good luck with that, especially trying to do it from a padded cell.

[Mr. Spencer] was arrested in Rapid City Monday for swatting a mall clerk on the buttocks with a paddle.

 

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yin yang

Is it really a good idea to let someone tattoo your back after you’ve had an argument with him? Um, NO, as a 25-year-old Australian man learned the hard way. The tattoo was supposed to be a yin yang symbol with dragons. As reported by The Courier Mail:

A 21-year-old man has been charged by police in Ipswich for allegedly tattooing a penis on a man’s back – instead of the image he had requested.

Yikes.

The 25-year-old victim had been visiting the man, an amateur tattooist, at his home in Bundamba last Wednesday when he was talked into getting a tattoo.

He wanted a yin and yang symbol with some dragons, but was instead shocked to discover the 40cm [almost 16 inches!] tattoo was of a penis with an obscene slogan.

The key word in the slogan was also misspelled.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

The man now faces considerable cost [and pain?] to have the image removed.

Police said the tattooing followed an argument between the men, during which the tattooist allegedly took offence at something the other man said.

The victim has also alleged he was punched and thrown out of the house following the tattooing.

All-in-all, not a good night for the vic. What about the perp? Any charges?

The 21-year-old is due to appear in Ipswich Magistrates Court on November 15 charged with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one charge relating to the Public Safety Act.

Here’s the source.

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It’s hard to make the “Wet Bandits” look good, but these gents have done it. How? By leaving their DNA at every crime scene. Brilliant! As found in The Star Online (Malaysia):

A gang of thieves in Ipoh is leaving “a souvenir” behind everytime they rob a house.

The police are trying to track down the group which urinates and defecates in the living room of each house they rob.

The group, dubbed as the geng tahi or “faeces gang”, is believed to be practising black magic to put a “spell” on the home owners.

Doh! Here’s the source.