Articles Posted in Best Of

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You list a car on Craigslist, and get a check for almost twice the asking price. Are you suspicious? You should be. This scam has been around for a long time. As reported by The Times and Democrat (Orangeburg, South Carolina):

The victim said Thursday she listed her vehicle [on CraigsList] back in December. She said she was contacted online and via cell phone.

On Dec. 5, she received a check from someone in Cleveland for $2,200 for the vehicle. She was only asking $1,200, the report said.

HUGE RED FLAG!

The victim said she was instructed to deposit the check and then send the buyer $1,000 of it to pay for the towing, the incident report said.

Don’t do it! It’s a …

She said she sent $1,000 through Western Union to a woman in California on Dec. 16.

… scam!

The callers are still trying to scam her for more towing expenses, the victim said.

And why wouldn’t they? That’s what they do.

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It’s easy to play Monday-morning bird smuggler. But do you have any better ideas? From the L.A. Now blog (by Scott Glover) of the Los Angeles Times:

A man who allegedly flew from Vietnam to Los Angeles with 14 live birds hidden in his pants was one of two men indicted on smuggling-related charges today by a federal grand jury in Los Angeles.

Duc Le, 34, and Sony Dong, 46, are charged in an eight-count indictment with conspiring to smuggle dozens of birds into the United States, including red-whiskered bulbuls, magpie robins and shama thrushes.

Both men were arrested last month after investigators determined that Dong had 14 birds fastened to pieces of cloth around his calves, said Asst. U.S. Atty. Mark Williams. A subsequent search revealed dozens more illicit birds, officials said.

The photo is from the U.S. Attorney’s office.

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It’s not uncommon for people to try to shoplift by putting items down their pants. But an entire rack of ribs? Twice? Truth, as reported by The Sentinel (Pennsylvania).

After going three months without getting in trouble, a Carlisle man was back in police custody Sunday afternoon after trying to steal a rack or ribs by sticking them in his pants.

Carlisle police said Donald Noone, 65, attempted to pull the same stunt on May 22 at the Giant on South Spring Garden Street.

This next bit will shock you.

Both times, Noone was found to be “highly intoxicated” when he tried to steal the meat, police said.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

 

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It’s really nice when siblings hang out together. After this stunt, they’re going to be doing something else together that’s not so nice. As reported by the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office (Florida):

Two sisters from Miami were both arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol Saturday night because after being stopped by deputies, they switched seats in the vehicle they were traveling in.

That there was some quick thinking. Why settle for one DUI when you can get two?

Deputy Juan Martin-Reyes followed the Volkswagen northbound from the 23 mile marker to the 30 mile marker of the highway just before 11 p.m. He observed the vehicle swerving, increasing and decreasing speeds and braking suddenly. He turned on his lights and siren and the car stopped suddenly in the lane of traffic. Through the back window he could see the driver and passenger quickly switch seats.

Deputy Spencer Curry arrived as back up. The deputies had both 18 year old Steffany Miranda and 24 year old Vanessa Miranda perform field sobriety exercises. Both girls had trouble performing the exercises and were, according to the deputies, visibly impaired and smelled of alcohol.

And if you’re wondering how the second sister could get a DUI since the car was stopped …

Because both girls were, at some point, in control of the vehicle behind the steering wheel with the keys in the ignition, they were both charged with driving under the influence of alcohol.

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The source for today’s Juice? A Change.org petition that came The Juice’s way. No doubt this law will end homosexuality in Alabama… Clearly a class adhering to the requirements of this law cannot be called sex “education.” The law is Section 16-40A-2 of the Alabama Code:

MINIMUM CONTENTS TO BE INCLUDED IN SEX EDUCATION PROGRAM OR CURRICULUM

… (c) Course materials and instruction that relate to sexual education or sexually transmitted diseases should include all of the following elements:

… (8) An emphasis, in a factual manner and from a public health perspective, that homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense under the laws of the state.

This is just stupid and wrong on so many levels. Who is this “general public” referring to? Not the American public.  And “homosexual conduct is a criminal offense”? Sure, some of it is (sodomy). But what about two men holding hands? You can read the full text of this small-minded, bigoted law here.

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As reported in The Huffington Post, Patrick Syring, who “apparently” is a former State Department foreign service officer, really, really dislikes Arabs and the Arab American Institute. (He was indicted for threatening the staff at the Arab American Institute.) Here are a few voice-mails and e-mails:

[Voice mail to the Institute:] Hello, I’m Patrick I’m in Arlington VA, and I think James Zogby is worse than Osama bin Laden. Since he supports Hezballah, he’s an anti-Semitic motherfucker, and the only good Arab is a dead Arab.
[Voice mail to an Institute employee:] Hello Valerie, you fucking Arab American shit. James Zogby and you are all Hezballah supporters. The only good Arab is a dead Arab… You God [inaudible] bitch.

[E-mail to two Institute employees; all e-mails sent to work addresses:] Zogby’s anti-Semitic, anti-American statements (and those of the AAI in general) are abhorrent, repulsive and disgusting. The only good Lebanese is a dead Lebanese (as the IDF knows and is carrying out in its security operations, God bless them.) Fuck the Arabs and Fuck James Zogby and his wicked Hizbollah brothers. They will burn in hellfire on this earth and in the hereafter.

Oh, and there’s plenty more here.

 (He was convicted and sentenced to a year in prison.)

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Since the Juice is against school dress codes, how do you think he feels about “hair” codes? Check this out, from The Hindu (the “Online edition of India’s National Newspaper”):

In a bizarre incident, a teacher snipped off the hair of five students in a school in Burdwan district of West Bengal for allegedly not adhering to the institute’s code of conduct related to hairdo.

The teacher, Manisha Ray, cut short the hair of the students for violating the rule of tying two plaits and coming with with a single plait during the morning prayers. As news of the incident spread, irate guardians entered the school premises in protest. They locked the teachers in a room and demanded Ms. Ray’s suspension. The police arrested Ms. Ray following complaints by the guardians of the students whose hair was cut off.

“We have arrested the teacher, based on a complaint. Charges against her will be framed under relevant sections of the Indian Penal Code,” Burdwan’s Additional Superintendent of Police Utpal Naskar said.

Members of the school’s managing committee later suspended Ms. Ray indefinitely from service.

Paws (and scissors) off the hair.

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You know the cops are getting annoying, idiotic calls like this all the time. As reported in the Sun Star Courier:

FRAUD, CRYSTAL CREEK DRIVE [Brecksville, Ohio]: A resident reported April 1 that someone had hacked into her email account and sent money requests to those on her contact list.

The victim was made aware of the situation when her friends began calling to inquire about the emails. The report did not state if anyone sent the requested funds.

One question for the complainant: Really? The Juice literally gets an email like this weekly! Hey lady – stop wasting the cop’s time!

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Do not read this within 30 minutes of eating. It’s gross. It’s about diarrhea. As reported by Syracuse.com, there was a dispute between two roommates about said diarrhea.

Palmieri, 59, was suffering from severe diarrhea March 10 in the apartment he shared at 473 Pleasantview Ave. with David Utt, 62, according to a Syracuse police report.

“I asked him to use the bathroom fan so that it wouldn’t smell up the house,” Utt said in a written statement. The request upset Palmieri.

Seems like a reasonable request to The Juice.

“Thanks for the sympathy,” Palmieri said, according to Utt.

“It’s common courtesy,” Utt replied.

Uh-oh.

Palmieri then vowed to “crap all over the house, the bathroom and my car,” Utt told police.

Oh it’s on.

Palmieri got into his pajama bottoms, then went outside, Utt told police. Utt was suspicious because Palmieri doesn’t smoke.

During the night, Utt discovered Palmieri had defecated “all over the floor in the bathroom and in the hallway near the bathroom,” Utt’s statement said.

The next morning, Utt opened the door to his 1997 Lincoln and saw “that Palmieri had, in fact, defecated over the back seat of his car, on the leather seats,” a police report said.

Utt had to drive the feces-laden car because he had to get to a doctor’s appointment that morning, he said. When he got home, he gave Palmieiri five minutes to start cleaning it all up.

Yeah. Think that happened?

“How does it feel to be (expletive) on?” Palmieri asked, Utt told police. Then Palmieri punched him in the face, Utt said.

So you shit all over the place, and then you punch him in the face?

Utt told police he doesn’t know how much it will cost him to have the car professionally cleaned, the report said.

Just junk it pal. You’re wasting your time.

Palmieri told police in a phone interview that he didn’t want to give his version of the story or return to the scene, “adding that he has diarrhea,” said the report written by Officer Shawn Prue.

The Juice hopes the new roommate has a bad sniffer. The charges?

Palmieri was charged with second-degree harassment and fourth-degree criminal mischief.

Here’s the source.

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In some ways, The Juice is like a comedian hoping the buffoon gets elected so he’ll have good material. Well, folks like this will keep The Juice knee-deep in oranges for years to come. Here’s yet another example of a time-wasting prosecution of an f-bomb case. The Juice has two words for these folks: First Amendment. As reported by KJZZ (Arizona):

A Mohave County man convicted of trespassing for wearing an obscenity-laced T-shirt to a Board of Supervisors meeting has lost another round in court. KJZZ’s Al Macias reports.

Just remember, he lost a “round.” He’ll win the fight.

KJZZ first told you about Mervin Fried in March of this year. A justice court found him guilty of trespassing in February after wearing a shirt with obscenities to the Mohave County Board of Supervisors meeting. Fried had maintained that he wore the T-shirt to express his opinion of the board’s decision to increase the county tax rate.

What did the shirt say? On the front, it said “Fuck The Tax.” On the back was the paraphrasing of quote from Supreme Court Justice Harlan from the case of Cohen v. California:

“One Man’s Obscenity is Another’s Lyric.” Harlan

What law was Mr. Fried accused of violating?

A Superior Court judge recently upheld the trespassing conviction, saying the county’s dress code specifically prohibits vulgar messages.

Fried told the Kingman Daily Miner that he plans another appeal.

And he’ll win.

Fried now is running for a seat on the Board of Supervisors.

Here’s the source. Here’s an earlier story, which includes much more detail, and photos of Mr. Fried’s shirt.