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sleep sleeping asleep

It can’t be said with certainty what this woman was up to, but … As reported by brooklynpaper.com, from the 76th Precinct (Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook):

Cops cuffed a woman who they say was sleeping in an apartment building stairway with a knife, pills, and some tools on her person on Bond Street on Dec. 3. Officers stated they found the 47-year-old woman passed out on the staircase in the complex near and Hoyt Street at 5:25 am.

When she awoke, they noticed that she had a knife on her belt and a few loose pills out in the open, cops said. Further inspection revealed a pry bar and wire cutters, according to a police report.

Hmm. A pry bar. Wire cutters …

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

For offenses involving socks, two British men were sentenced to 18 months in jail (for “conspiring to commit acts of gross indecency”), and put on the sex offenders’ registry for 10 years.  Per The Southport Visiter:

Two men swindled hundreds of people in Southport out of their socks back in the 1990s.

How do you “swindle” folks out of socks?

Claiming to be collecting the socks for good causes, the men approached unsuspecting victims in the resort’s bars and clubs and paid revellers up to £5 for their footwear.

Creepy.

They made sure to take pictures of the victims with their socks and then meticulously tagged each pair with the donor’s name before wrapping them in sandwich bags.

Creepier. Guess what the police found at one of the dude’s flat?

… 4,000 pairs in binbags in a cupboard. Officers described their astonishment when they found they had to wade through an 18 inch deep “carpet” of smelly socks. “They were everywhere and anywhere,” an officer said.

“They were all over the furniture, hanging from lampshades and even in the microwave, frying pan and cooker.”

“It was like there had been an explosion in a sock factory and socks had blown all over the place. In my 25 years with the police I have never seen anything like it.”

Yikes.

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cell phone mobile selfie

A New Zealand doctor took a number of photographs of his … genitalia, with his cell phone. You might ask, “Why?” According to the judge, the reasons “still remain largely inexplicable.” Our doctor, whose name the court has not released, tried to send the photos to a female friend with the caption “before.” (I don’t think we’ll ever know what “after” would have been.) Well, the e-mail address was incorrect, so it bounced back. When the doctor tried to delete the photos, he caused them to be archived!

Another sexually explicit e-mail the doctor sent led to the discovery of the “self-portrait.” An Employment Court proceeding followed and, as they say in New Zealand, the doctor was sacked. He appealed. How do you think he fared?

He won! The appellate court held that the dismissal process was flawed and that the dismissal was unjustified.

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squirt gun

Minnesota man Scott Wagar had enough. His house had been getting hit for 7 years. Per wcco.com:

Wagar never used to have a problem with homecoming traditions, until he became one. Years ago he caught a group of Willmar High School students trying to cover his house in toilet paper and he made them clean it up. Since then, the pranksters have been coming back for more.

“They come with ketchup, and peanut butter, and eggs and toilet paper,” said Wagar.

So Mr. Wagar decided to fight back.

This year, Wagar borrowed a pair of night vision goggles from his son and waited outside. It wasn’t long before he saw a group of about 20 kids approaching his house from the east, through a soybean field. He confronted them and asked them to leave. They refused and began throwing eggs at him. That’s when Scott unleashed his secret weapon.

“I figured that fox urine against eggs was probably equal force, and so I should be okay,” said Wagar.

Using a Super Soaker squirt gun, Wagar sprayed the teens with fox urine. One teen grabbed him around the neck, and when he wouldn’t let go, Wagar bent his finger back.

Question: Where do you get fox urine, let alone enough to fill a Super Soaker? Regardless, though sentiment in town seems to be on Mr. Wagar’s side, he was charged with 5th degree assault for spraying the little miscreants, and other offenses. Per this article, the charges against Mr. Wagar were dismissed.

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tv television

A tv? If you’re wondering how this is possible, so is The Juice. As reported by WCCO (Minneapolis):

The officer then saw in plain view that King had a large item wrapped in plastic and stuffed down his pants. It was a 19-inch flat screen television. King also had other items in his pants, including a media player television remote, power cords, a bottle of brake fluid and two Xanax pills, a Schedule IV controlled substance.

Shazam! You can read more, and see a photo of the perp here.

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fish

How could The Juice possibly know that people in Wyoming were fishing with guns? Well, do you think they would have passed a law prohibiting it if nobody was doing it? Exactly! Here’s the law:

23-3-201. Fishing tackle; designation of waters for setline fishing; taking fish with firearm prohibited; snagging; penalties.

… (d) No person shall take, wound or destroy any fish of Wyoming with a firearm of any kind or nature.

Very sporting, right? And so much fun! Here’s the source.

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middle finger flip flipping bird

While many police officers in the United States will arrest you for flipping them off, the courts have consistently held that doing so is protected by the First Amendment. There is nothing offering one such protection in Dubai, as an Iranian woman found out. As reported by gulfnews.com:

A businesswoman was sentenced to a month in jail for flashing her middle finger at two policemen after dining out with friends in a five-star hotel.

They said she had been drinking too. Her defense?

N.I. pleaded innocent claiming that she bit her nails and scratched her finger due to a skin disease that she suffers from when the policemen “confusingly thought she flashed her finger in their face”

… and

The defendant claimed that she didn’t drink liquor and alleged that the food she had at the hotel was cooked in liquor.

Okay. Your evidence?

Sources close to the case told Gulf News that N.I. provided the court with a medical report confirming that she suffers from psoriasis.

The report said she remains under treatment because she suffers itchiness in her hands and legs.

And the prosecution?

Records said the policemen spotted N.I. jumping into the backseat of a car and flashed her middle finger in their face.

The policemen chased the vehicle that carried the defendant for two kilometres then asked the driver to follow them to the nearest police station.

N.I. was sent for examination. She tested positive for liquor.

Ma’am?

When asked about the findings, she said: “The liquor in my blood must have been there because the food at the hotel was cooked in liquor.”

What’s cooked is her goose. In addition to the 30 days in jail …

The court also fined N.I. Dh3,000 for consuming liquor and she will be deported after serving her term.

You’ll find the source here.

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babushka souvenir

Sure, lots of folks pick up a few keepsakes when they’re on vacation. Maybe something to remind them of the fun they had on the trip. Well check out what this man picked up in Tibet, as reported by The Highline Times (Washington State):

A traveler was stopped at the Sea-Tac Airport by a dog that smelled something funny. Customs and Border Protection agriculture specialists contacted the man and he told them he had four yak skulls in his duffel bag. The traveler told the specialists he found two of the skulls while hiking in Tibet. He also bought two yak skulls at a village store to keep as souvenirs. Two of the skulls had dried flesh on them, which is what alerted a federal Beagle named Woody. An Agriculture program manager said the skulls were destroyed under high-pressure steam to prevent the introduction of animal diseases.

Nothing like a fleshy yak skull to start that stroll down memory lane.

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police helicopter

You’re up in a police helicopter, looking down at 3 plants on a guy’s deck. Can you really identify them as marijuana? Really? That’s what they’re saying, as reported by The Times at nj.com:

Peter R. Taylor, 23, was allegedly growing the marijuana on the back deck of his home on the 100 block of Coachman Drive. The plants were spotted by the state police Marijuana Eradication Unit during a helicopter flight yesterday, officials said.
“He saw the helicopter and attempted to pull the plants and destroy them,” said Sgt. Gregory Williams, a State Police spokesman.

Florence police and the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office had received confidential information about the marijuana growing at Taylor’s house and initiated the joint investigation with the state police, officials said.

“Joint” investigation! Get it?

Law enforcement officers on the ground arrested him immediately after the team in the helicopter saw the plants, police said.
A search of the home revealed just over six ounces of processed marijuana valued at $1,800, Williams said. The three plants have a combined value of $6,000, according to the state police.

If they had information from a confidential informant, why not just get a search warrant? Why the flyover?

Taylor was charged with possession of marijuana, manufacturing drugs, and hindering apprehension by destroying evidence, Florence police said.
He was released after posting $25,000 full cash bail.

Here’s the source.

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