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no parking sign park

At some point in your time behind the wheel, you found a great parking spot and said “Wow, we couldn’t get any closer than this!” Well, you were wrong, as this gent proved. As reported by This Is Lancashire:

A driver has been arrested after his car ploughed into a pub in Bolton town centre.

The male driver of the silver discovery vehicle was arrested and led away from the scene of the crash, which occurred just after 5pm at the Dog and Partridge pub in Manor Street.

Onlookers said it looked as though people who were inside the building at the time of the smash kept the driver inside the pub until police could arrive and arrest him.

You’ll find the source, a photo of the scene, and a fair amount more on the story here.

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crowbar crow bar

A crowbar? Really? The Juice wouldn’t waste your valuable time on such an ordinary crime. Maybe a stapler, a tape measure, or a soda can? Nope. You would never, never, ever guess this woman’s weapon of choice. As reported at thelocal.de:

The mother entered the store at 4.25pm and asked to buy a breast pump, police reported.

The Juice can hear the cogs slowly beginning to turn in your brain.

But after handing over a €200-note to pay for her €20 purchase, she suddenly uncovered one breast and used her fingers to squirt milk from it at the pharmacist.

Bam!

She then rummaged through the counter display and went to a second cash register.

Ignoring the pleas of staff and customers to cover herself up, she again rooted through the counter displays and unleashed a fresh spray of milk.

Boom!

Apparently satisfied with her handiwork, she quickly left the pharmacy, leaving the breast pump behind.

The pharmacists only noticed that €100 was missing from their cash register some time later when counting the day’s takings.

Police believe the woman, who they described as having a “robust” figure, long dark hair tied into a ponytail and speaking an unknown language, stole the cash while customers and staff were distracted by her antics.

Officers described the woman’s antics as “almost unbelievable”.

Now that is one for the ages.  Here’s the source.

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

They wouldn’t buy this woman’s plasma the other day. And based on what she did after being rejected, she’ll be peddling her plasma elsewhere in the future. As reported by news4jax.com:

A woman is in the hospital but she soon could be heading to jail after she intentionally drove her car into a Westside plasma donation center, sending eight other people to the hospital, according to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office.

Yikes!

The crash happened after noon Saturday at DCI Biologicals on Blanding Boulevard, a facility where people can donate plasma.

Police said 35-year-old Pamela Miller arrived at DCI Biologicals with her boyfriend Saturday morning. People inside told News4Jax she had taken several pills while waiting.

From there, police said Miller got into an argument with employees.

“We’re getting conflicting stories,” said Lt. Derrick Mitchell, of JSO. “Some folks are saying that she was upset because she wasn’t able to donate. After she was told she couldn’t donate, that’s when she crashed the car into the front of the business.”

Authorities said Miller was the only one inside of the car when she drove it about 40 feet inside of the business. It didn’t take long for police to arrive, as the JSO substation is next door.

40 feet! Shazam! Here’s the source, including photos.

 

 

 

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police stop

DUI checkpoints are unconstitutional because they violate the 4th Amendment, no matter what the Supreme Court said. (Where is the probable cause to stop someone when they are just driving down the road, minding their own business?) Still, it’s the law of the land. Anyway, in this particular case, they did catch an allegedly drunk driver, but in a most unusual way. As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat:

The village of Caseyville lost a police cruiser in the line of duty Monday when an alleged intoxicated driver crashed into it at a sobriety checkpoint.

Yeah, that’s not exactly the way the police would like the checkpoints to function.

They were operating the checkpoint along with Caseyville officers as part of the Illinois Department of Transportation’s Sustained Traffic Enforcement Program.

Neither the officer nor the motorist was injured in the crash. But both cars suffered extensive damage, police said.

The motorist was charged with suspicion of driving under the influence by Illinois State Police.

Click here for the source.

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thief busted hidden camera

Yes, loyal readers, the cameras are everywhere. So you might as well behave yourself. It’s too late for this gent, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Detective David Dupont said a homeowner arrived home just before 4 p.m. Aug. 1 to find his 72 Fern lane home burglarized. A Marshall amplifier and electric guitar, kept in an upstairs office, were missing along with a pocketbook, a Coach wristlet and $100 taken from a bedroom closet.

Dupont said the burglar went through every room of the house, leaving drawers open after rifling through them.

But …

Unknown to the burglar, the homeowner had set up a hidden camera and captured two pictures of him smiling and a third with his tongue hanging out, while holding the guitar, amplifier and purse. The photos had a time stamp of 12:40 p.m.

Dupont said the homeowner set up the camera in the event someone broke into his residence, which is located in the Crystal Lake area of the city.

Bam! Here’s the source.

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knives

Working on your knife-throwing in a public area is not a good idea under normal circumstances.  How about under these circumstances, as reported by kval.com (Eugene, Oregon):

Police responded to the commercial district near NW 9th Street and NW Spruce Avenue around 5:30 p.m. Sunday to a report of a man throwing a knife at trees [near a credit union drive-through].

The officer contacted [Drew William] Phillips, [23] who told police he was practicing his knife-throwing skills with a 3.5-inch fixed blade knife.

Phillips had 7 warrants out for his arrest. He was arrested and booked into jail.

Perhaps keeping a low profile would have been wiser? You’ll find the source, including mug shots, here.

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working work at on computer laptop

Yes, this man was busted for going on Facebook, as he should have been. As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

A Norwood man was arrested for allegedly contacting a female via Facebook who had an order of protection against him, according to St. Lawrence County sheriff’s deputies.

Matthew J. Allen, 27, was charged with second-degree criminal contempt, officers said.

He was arraigned in Norfolk Town Court and released on his own recognizance, deputies said.

Time to move on, jack. Let the lady be. Here’s the source.

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roadrunner%20coyote%20acme.jpg

If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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craigslist

Craigslist is a fantastic marketplace. You can literally buy and sell anything, or so these gents thought. As reported by The Colorado Springs Police Department:

On 02/01/14 at approximately 1700 hrs. Officer M. McCormick, was dispatched to the 1600 block of Loraine St. to investigate a reported burglary. Upon arrival he contacted the Victim who stated that between approximately 2200 hrs. on 1/31/14 and 1000 hrs. on 02/01/14 that an unknown person illegally entered his open attached garage and removed his Cannondale brand mountain bike valued at approximately $5,000.00. The Victim stated that his bicycle was very unique in that it was comprised of parts that he specifically purchased to put on the bicycle.

Not to digress,  or say anything negative about a fellow cyclist, but you left the garage door open? Oh well. The damage has been done. Or … has it?

The Victim immediately began a search on Craigslist in an attempt to see if he could locate an ad containing his stolen bicycle. The Victim located an ad for a Cannondale bicycle that was posted approximately 12 hours after he initially reported the burglary.

That’s my bike! That’s my bike! But the police will never believe me. Or … will they?

The Victim then contacted Officer Brian Kelly, with the Colorado Springs Police Department and showed him the photographs of the Cannondale brand mountain bike. On 02/03/14 at approximately 1500 hrs, Officer Kelly contacted Detective Strachan and explained that the Victim was confident that the photos on the Craigslist ad were of his bicycle. Officers established telephone contact with the party on the Craigslist ad and a meeting was arranged at the Safeway store located at 624 W. Highway 105 in Monument Colorado. The Monument Police Department was notified and present as Detectives and Officers took part in a coordinated plan to meet with the party selling the bicycle. At the pre-arranged meeting, Officers checked for the serial numbers and were able to recognize the bicycle as the same one in the ad from the upgraded parts.

Four individuals that were posing as the sellers of the bicycle were detained. William Fortune (20), and Tyler Fraser (22) were taken into custody and transported to the Gold Hill substation. At the time Mr. Fortune was taken into custody he was in possession of a .40 Caliber Smith and Wesson semi-automatic handgun. The handgun was concealed on his person in the back waistband underneath his shirt and pants. Mr. Fortune does not have a valid Concealed Carry Permit and is only 20 years old.

Mr. Fortune confessed to removing the Cannondale bicycle from the open garage. Mr. Fortune took the bicycle back to his residence and contacted Tyler Fraser and asked him for assistance selling the bicycle on Craigslist for $2,000.00.

William Fortune was charged with Second Degree Burglary, Theft (Felony) and Unlawfully Carrying a Concealed Weapon and Tyler Fraser was charged with Theft (Felony). Both were transported to the Criminal Justice Center.

Bam!

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please be quiet

“Um, excuse me. Could you please keep it down?” Fuhgeddaboutit. Ain’t nobody quieting this lady down. As reported by The Star-Ledger at nj.com:

A 47-year-old Hackettstown woman went on a rampage and was arrested when police arrived at her house to check into a noise complaint last week, authorities said.

Gail Tortorella was drunk when police showed up to her home on Ashley Avenue at about 6:45 p.m. Thursday, Hackettstown police said in a release. Instead of calming down, police said she became belligerent.

Rampage? Yeah, not the right move.

While being placed under arrest she allegedly kicked an officer in the groin and spit on him.

Kicking up a cop in the man zone? You just motivated at least one officer to push your case very, very hard. Plea bargain? Fuhgeddaboutit. Oh, and she wasn’t done yet.

Tortorella then threatened to kill the police and her neighbor, authorities say. She also kicked down the neighbor’s door.

So what’s she looking at?

She is charged with resisting arrest, aggravated assault on police, threats, disorderly conduct and criminal mischief. Tortorella was held on $7,500 bail at the Warren County jail, police said.

Here’s the source.

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