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knives

Working on your knife-throwing in a public area is not a good idea under normal circumstances.  How about under these circumstances, as reported by kval.com (Eugene, Oregon):

Police responded to the commercial district near NW 9th Street and NW Spruce Avenue around 5:30 p.m. Sunday to a report of a man throwing a knife at trees [near a credit union drive-through].

The officer contacted [Drew William] Phillips, [23] who told police he was practicing his knife-throwing skills with a 3.5-inch fixed blade knife.

Phillips had 7 warrants out for his arrest. He was arrested and booked into jail.

Perhaps keeping a low profile would have been wiser? You’ll find the source, including mug shots, here.

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working work at on computer laptop

Yes, this man was busted for going on Facebook, as he should have been. As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

A Norwood man was arrested for allegedly contacting a female via Facebook who had an order of protection against him, according to St. Lawrence County sheriff’s deputies.

Matthew J. Allen, 27, was charged with second-degree criminal contempt, officers said.

He was arraigned in Norfolk Town Court and released on his own recognizance, deputies said.

Time to move on, jack. Let the lady be. Here’s the source.

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If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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craigslist

Craigslist is a fantastic marketplace. You can literally buy and sell anything, or so these gents thought. As reported by The Colorado Springs Police Department:

On 02/01/14 at approximately 1700 hrs. Officer M. McCormick, was dispatched to the 1600 block of Loraine St. to investigate a reported burglary. Upon arrival he contacted the Victim who stated that between approximately 2200 hrs. on 1/31/14 and 1000 hrs. on 02/01/14 that an unknown person illegally entered his open attached garage and removed his Cannondale brand mountain bike valued at approximately $5,000.00. The Victim stated that his bicycle was very unique in that it was comprised of parts that he specifically purchased to put on the bicycle.

Not to digress,  or say anything negative about a fellow cyclist, but you left the garage door open? Oh well. The damage has been done. Or … has it?

The Victim immediately began a search on Craigslist in an attempt to see if he could locate an ad containing his stolen bicycle. The Victim located an ad for a Cannondale bicycle that was posted approximately 12 hours after he initially reported the burglary.

That’s my bike! That’s my bike! But the police will never believe me. Or … will they?

The Victim then contacted Officer Brian Kelly, with the Colorado Springs Police Department and showed him the photographs of the Cannondale brand mountain bike. On 02/03/14 at approximately 1500 hrs, Officer Kelly contacted Detective Strachan and explained that the Victim was confident that the photos on the Craigslist ad were of his bicycle. Officers established telephone contact with the party on the Craigslist ad and a meeting was arranged at the Safeway store located at 624 W. Highway 105 in Monument Colorado. The Monument Police Department was notified and present as Detectives and Officers took part in a coordinated plan to meet with the party selling the bicycle. At the pre-arranged meeting, Officers checked for the serial numbers and were able to recognize the bicycle as the same one in the ad from the upgraded parts.

Four individuals that were posing as the sellers of the bicycle were detained. William Fortune (20), and Tyler Fraser (22) were taken into custody and transported to the Gold Hill substation. At the time Mr. Fortune was taken into custody he was in possession of a .40 Caliber Smith and Wesson semi-automatic handgun. The handgun was concealed on his person in the back waistband underneath his shirt and pants. Mr. Fortune does not have a valid Concealed Carry Permit and is only 20 years old.

Mr. Fortune confessed to removing the Cannondale bicycle from the open garage. Mr. Fortune took the bicycle back to his residence and contacted Tyler Fraser and asked him for assistance selling the bicycle on Craigslist for $2,000.00.

William Fortune was charged with Second Degree Burglary, Theft (Felony) and Unlawfully Carrying a Concealed Weapon and Tyler Fraser was charged with Theft (Felony). Both were transported to the Criminal Justice Center.

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please be quiet

“Um, excuse me. Could you please keep it down?” Fuhgeddaboutit. Ain’t nobody quieting this lady down. As reported by The Star-Ledger at nj.com:

A 47-year-old Hackettstown woman went on a rampage and was arrested when police arrived at her house to check into a noise complaint last week, authorities said.

Gail Tortorella was drunk when police showed up to her home on Ashley Avenue at about 6:45 p.m. Thursday, Hackettstown police said in a release. Instead of calming down, police said she became belligerent.

Rampage? Yeah, not the right move.

While being placed under arrest she allegedly kicked an officer in the groin and spit on him.

Kicking up a cop in the man zone? You just motivated at least one officer to push your case very, very hard. Plea bargain? Fuhgeddaboutit. Oh, and she wasn’t done yet.

Tortorella then threatened to kill the police and her neighbor, authorities say. She also kicked down the neighbor’s door.

So what’s she looking at?

She is charged with resisting arrest, aggravated assault on police, threats, disorderly conduct and criminal mischief. Tortorella was held on $7,500 bail at the Warren County jail, police said.

Here’s the source.

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no littering sign don't litter litterbug bug

Have you EVER heard of anyone getting a ticket for littering? They should, but it just never seems to happen, much to The Juice’s chagrin.  Well, a litterbug in New York got busted, sort of. As reported by brooklynpaper.com:

The litterbug told police that he tossed some trash in the parking lot of a fast-food chain between Kingsland and Morgan avenues at 12:50 pm. A moment later, two men came up to him and showed him shields.

Officer, arrest that man! He just admitted to littering! No?

“Hold on,” said one of the men. “What you are doing is illegal.”

Citizen’s arrest! Citizen’s arrest! (This is funny only to geezers like The Juice who watched The Andy Griffith Show.) Sadly, there was no citizen’s arrest, but there was a little bit of strange justice doled out.

The fake cops told the man that they would write him a ticket if he did not give them $60 on the spot. They followed him to his house, but he could not find any money there, so they walked him to an automatic teller machine, where he withdrew $60 and gave it to the men, the real cops reported.

Bam! $60 fine! The Juice is smiling.

 

 

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crime

A Mississippi state legislator waisted little time in between talking about the crime problem in Jackson to becoming part of it. As reported by wapt.com:

Hours after state Sen. John Horhn hosted a meeting addressing crime problems in Jackson, he was arrested on a DUI charge, police confirmed.

Horhn had called a meeting at the State Capitol earlier in the evening and heard from Jackson residents about crime.

The gent called the meeting! It must not have gone too well.

Horhn was pulled over about 11:30 p.m. Thursday on Beasley Road in front of Callaway High School, a Jackson police official said.

Horhn was booked and released early Friday morning, authorities said. A court hearing is scheduled for Monday, officials said.

You’ll find the source, and a photo of the senator, here.

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Old folks like The Juice, especially (and almost exclusively) men, often quote from Animal House. As Dean Wormer said: “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life …” When you look at her mug shot, you’ll see that “fat” doesn’t apply. “Drunk” definitely does. As for “stupid,” judge for yourself. Per The Orlando Sentinel:

An Oviedo Police Department officer who was assisting with security before UCF’s [University of Central Florida] first football game of the season against University of Akron got several reports of a woman urinating inside Parking Garage H.

Uh-oh.

When he went to check it out, he found Kristine Johnson of Sarasota naked from the waist down. She is not a UCF student, university officials said.

If you think she went along quietly …

When police commanded her to pull her shorts back on, she complied, her arrest report said. But throughout the rest of the encounter, police say, Johnson resisted arrest by pushing officers away, picking fights with strangers and yelling and cursing repeatedly.

When she was arrested, officials say, she spit on the doors and walls of her holding cell and cursed and yelled at officers.

Well, someone needs to learn some manners! The charges?

She faces multiple charges, including exposure of sexual organs, disorderly conduct and battery on a law enforcement officer.

Oh, and one more thing. She was banned from UCF! Here’s the source, including a mug shot.

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Unless you’re the most anal person on earth, you don’t pick your neighbors. You pick the house and the location. Well this gent clearly was not happy with the neighbor he drew, and he picked a strange way to express his displeasure. As reported by The Anchorage Daily News:

A Fairbanks man was arrested for making a false report to police after he punched himself in the face in an attempt to get his neighbor arrested for assault, the Alaska State Troopers said in an online dispatch Monday.

Brilliant!

Tony Gesin, 50, called 911 and reported being assaulted by a neighbor at around 10:30 p.m. on Sunday night, troopers said.

When troopers showed up to interview him he allegedly blamed the injuries on his neighbor but ultimately admitted to punching himself because he wanted his neighbor to be arrested.

Excellent plan. Well-executed too. Here’s the source.

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Yes people waste an insane amount of time on Facebook (that is, unless they’re going here.) That said, every now and then something very useful comes from Facebook use. This was posted on the Martin County Sherrif’s Office Facebook page on June 17, 2013:

********URGENT BOLO ALERT******PLEASE SHARE******* The Martin County Sheriff’s Office is asking you to Be On the Look Out for 48-year old Timothy Moriarty of Stuart. Moriarty is wanted for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. We have information that he is still in our area. The suspect was driving a blue 1996 Dodge van, Florida tag number AHP4G. Timothy Moriarty is said to be armed and dangerous. If you see him, call 9-1-1 immediately.

Lo and behold, the following day, this was posted:

Moments ago, 48-year old Timothy Moriarty was located and arrested by our SWAT Team, Uniform Patrol Deputies and K-9 Units who were led to Sandsprit Park by your tips. The Martin County Sheriff’s office would like to thank our Facebook followers who led MCSO to Sandsprit Park, shortly after our BOLO posting. Moriarty was awakened by our SWAT Team and taken into custody without incident.

Bam! You can see the posts, and photos of Mr. Moriarty, here.

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