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duel

The most important rule regarding any form of communication is thus: “Would I mind if this was out there for the whole world to see?” Well, in retrospect, I think this fellow would mind. As reported by patch.com:

A Crystal Lake lawyer mocked the size of a client’s penis and challenged him to a duel, according to a complaint filed by the Illinois Attorney Registration & Disciplinary Commission.

Attorney Donald Franz called client Mike Rutkowski a “small penis a——e” and “insulted Rutkowsky’s manhood and choice of automobiles,” the complaint said.

Franz also allegedly sent an email to Rutkowski that said, “My mistake, there is only one man involved between us. I challenge you to a duel, you pick the time, place and manner.”

Franz and Rutkowski were in a dispute over $400. Franz had billed that amount for his “efforts to reduce the assessed value of real property (Rutkowski) had recently purchased,” the complaint said.

In his answer to the complaint, Franz admitted to the “general characterization” of the small-penis quip but “denies insulting Rutkowski’s manhood or choice of automobiles.” He also said the duel challenge was taken out of context.

The entire message reads: “Can you please tell me where you would like to be served? Fee agreements are not required in these matters and not between men. My mistake, there is only one man involved between us. I challenge you to a duel, you pick the time, place and manner. I choose small claims court. See you very soon. Don,” Franz said in his answer.

“In its totality, the email is not a threat of violence or challenge to a duel, it is a threat to sue in small claims court,” he said.

Alrighty then. Here’s the source.

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money dollar sign

Dude, it’s not your money. Was it worth risking your life? Okay, don’t answer that since you look pretty good right now. How good would you have looked with a hole in your head? Seriously, just hand over the money. Even if you get fired, good things will happen! (See yesterday’s Juice post.) Any way, back to the present, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Capt. Peter Albert said a person wearing a mask and a hooded sweatshirt — believed to be a man — entered the Gulf gas station at 1 Continental Blvd. shortly before 11 p.m. Wednesday.

Albert said a handgun was shown to the store employee.

The man demanded cash from the register, but the store clerk refused, Albert said.

According to police, the robber hit the clerk with the gun, causing non-life threatening injuries. The gun was not fired, police said.

The unsuccessful robber fled and was seen entering the passenger side of a small, compact gray vehicle, Albert said.

In hindsight, brave. Had he been shot, stupid. Click here for the source, which includes a still taken from the store’s video surveillance footage.

 

 

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taxi sign

You’d have to be drunk or stoned to take a cab to a bank robbery and to have it wait for you while you did the deed, right? Right! This gent was drunk!  As reported by The Tallahassee Democrat:

Stanley Geddie arrived by taxicab and was drunk during an attempted heist of a Tallahassee bank Wednesday afternoon, police say.

The 46-year-old was arrested on charges of robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer after demanding $100,000 from a bank manager at the Capital City Bank on Capital Circle Northwest.

Geddie told the manager he had a .357 handgun, was carrying C4 plastic explosives and “would blow this place up,” court records show.

Police arrived at the bank to find the cab driver, who advised them Geddie was drunk and had not paid his $25.50 fare. The driver told police Geddie said, “I will take care of you when I come out.”

When police made contact with Geddie sitting in the manager’s office, he appeared “very intoxicated and spaced out,” according to court records.

Geddie did not follow officers’ commands and was tased during the incident. Court records say that when police told him he would be shot if he made any sudden movements, he said “well then kill me.” He was arrested without further incident. A search revealed Geddie did not have a firearm or explosives.

In an interview with police, the bank manager said Geddie indicated he also had the bank surrounded while continuing to demand the money.

Well, that was a total bust.  You’ll find the source, and Mr. Geddie’s mugshot, here.

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facebook

You lose varying amounts of privacy by being on Facebook, but you can lose a lot more. Just ask this gent.  As reported by The Daily News (Galveston County):

Police say a man’s Facebook posts led to his arrest for allegedly stealing an SUV valued at $38,000.

Doh!  Exactly what breadcrumbs did they follow, you might wonder?

An employee at Texas Direct Auto in Stafford reported the stolen 2011 Infiniti QX5 on Friday morning, police said.

The employee, who knew the suspect, told officers the man’s Facebook posts showed the stolen vehicle’s keys, police said. The posts also tagged his location in League City at UTMB Health Specialty Care Center at Victory Lakes in the 2200 block of Gulf Freeway. Officers arrested him at the clinic.

And you thought nobody paid attention to your location!

Christopher Andrew Lee, 29, of Wharton, is charged with unauthorized use of a motor vehicle.

He was being held in Galveston County jail on $60,000 bond.

Here’s the source.

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school bus

Regular Juice readers will remember this recent post about a school bus aide in New Jersey who stole lunch money – and lunches! – from a bunch of kids on her bus. Well, it turns out that’s not all she stole.  Per The South Jersey Times (via nj.com):

The bus aide who allegedly stole lunches and lunch money from 29 kids was given an additional charge of theft for also stealing from the bus driver, police said.

Rosa M. Rios, 33, of East Broad Street, was charged on Feb. 20 with robbery and theft after being caught on camera rifling through backpacks of kids — ranging between 3 and 5 years old.

Bam!

Millville police began investigating Rios on Feb. 4 after the bus driver complained about money being stolen from her. When police watched the security camera footage from the bus, they saw Rios going through the backpacks.

Upon further viewing of the security camera footage, she was also observed stealing from the bus driver’s pocketbook as well, according to Lt. Jody Farabella.

Here’s the source, including a mug shot of Ms. Rios.

 

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fireworks

Just jumping up and down and yelling after touchdowns apparently was not a sufficient celebration for some of these folks. (Like most fans, they must not find field goals very exciting.) As reported by The Highline Times (Burien, Washington):

A resident in the Boulevard Park neighborhood of Burien called the police anticipating a neighborhood disturbance of fireworks and bullets during the Superbowl. The call went out to police on the afternoon of Saturday, January 31st. They told police that after each Seahawks scoring drive, one of their neighbors fires off “ridiculously loud illegal fireworks” but what ultimately caused them to alert authorities was when a separate neighbor began firing off a handgun after every scoring drive. Police confiscated the illegal fireworks but did not report any contact with the neighbor who allegedly fires off their handgun after successful scoring drives.

Guess they’ll all be shooting guns next year, and probably for years to come, given their youth, stellar defense, stellar running game, and a very good young quarterback (who had a bad game at the worst time).

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suitcase travel airport woman

Sure, maybe you get 2-for-1 occasionally. Hell, maybe you go to a super sale now and again, and with multiple markdowns, get something for 90% off the original price. But you will never, ever get the deals this woman gets when she travels. Via kstp tv (Minneapolis, Minnesota):

ABC News reports “serial stowaway” Marilyn Jean Hartman [age 63] was arrested Monday in Florida. She’s accused of posing as a guest and checking into a resort property after boarding a flight to Jacksonville International Airport without a boarding pass.

Two questions: How the hell do you get through security without a boarding pass? How the hell do you get on the plane without a boarding pass?

After the flight landed in Florida, Hartman took a shuttle to the Omni Amelia Island Plantation Resort, where she checked in under a false name, according to a Nassau County Sheriff’s Office.

When the actual guest arrived, Hartman disappeared. Security found her the next day in a room that was being renovated, ABC News reports.

Working all the angles! The charges?

Hartman is charged with felony fraud and misdemeanor trespassing.

You probably already guessed that this was not her first rodeo.

Hartman has been arrested numerous times for similar offenses in previous years, including three arrests in August 2014.

Here’s the source, which includes a photo of Ms. Hartman.

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drunk drink glass martini

We’ve all been there. You drink to much, and you do something stupid. Usually though, not this stupid.  As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Department’s blotter:

Incident Date: November 15, 2014

Colorado Springs police received a 911 call shortly before 9 p.m. reporting that gunshots could be heard coming from inside a home on the 1200 block of Royale Drive. As officers arrived at the home described by the reporting party, they saw its front door open. At that time they heard numerous gunshots being fired from inside the home. Reacting immediately, officers moved inside the home, toward the sound of the gunshots. The officers contacted three people inside the residence. Further investigation into the incident revealed that the homeowner, and a friend, decided to alternate using a handgun to shoot glass bottles in the basement of the residence, while the third person watched. Both the homeowner and the friend were under the influence of alcohol at the time of the incident. 28 year-old Christian Clark and 23 year-old Codie Leslie were charged with Prohibited use of weapons and Reckless Endangerment.

Brilliant!

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squirt gun

Minnesota man Scott Wagar had enough. His house had been getting hit for 7 years. Per wcco.com:

Wagar never used to have a problem with homecoming traditions, until he became one. Years ago he caught a group of Willmar High School students trying to cover his house in toilet paper and he made them clean it up. Since then, the pranksters have been coming back for more.

“They come with ketchup, and peanut butter, and eggs and toilet paper,” said Wagar.

So Mr. Wagar decided to fight back.

This year, Wagar borrowed a pair of night vision goggles from his son and waited outside. It wasn’t long before he saw a group of about 20 kids approaching his house from the east, through a soybean field. He confronted them and asked them to leave. They refused and began throwing eggs at him. That’s when Scott unleashed his secret weapon.

“I figured that fox urine against eggs was probably equal force, and so I should be okay,” said Wagar.

Using a Super Soaker squirt gun, Wagar sprayed the teens with fox urine. One teen grabbed him around the neck, and when he wouldn’t let go, Wagar bent his finger back.

Question: Where do you get fox urine, let alone enough to fill a Super Soaker? Regardless, though sentiment in town seems to be on Mr. Wagar’s side, he was charged with 5th degree assault for spraying the little miscreants, and other offenses. Per this article, the charges against Mr. Wagar were dismissed.

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no parking sign park

At some point in your time behind the wheel, you found a great parking spot and said “Wow, we couldn’t get any closer than this!” Well, you were wrong, as this gent proved. As reported by This Is Lancashire:

A driver has been arrested after his car ploughed into a pub in Bolton town centre.

The male driver of the silver discovery vehicle was arrested and led away from the scene of the crash, which occurred just after 5pm at the Dog and Partridge pub in Manor Street.

Onlookers said it looked as though people who were inside the building at the time of the smash kept the driver inside the pub until police could arrive and arrest him.

You’ll find the source, a photo of the scene, and a fair amount more on the story here.

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