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drunk drink glass martini

We’ve all been there. You drink to much, and you do something stupid. Usually though, not this stupid.  As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Department’s blotter:

Incident Date: November 15, 2014

Colorado Springs police received a 911 call shortly before 9 p.m. reporting that gunshots could be heard coming from inside a home on the 1200 block of Royale Drive. As officers arrived at the home described by the reporting party, they saw its front door open. At that time they heard numerous gunshots being fired from inside the home. Reacting immediately, officers moved inside the home, toward the sound of the gunshots. The officers contacted three people inside the residence. Further investigation into the incident revealed that the homeowner, and a friend, decided to alternate using a handgun to shoot glass bottles in the basement of the residence, while the third person watched. Both the homeowner and the friend were under the influence of alcohol at the time of the incident. 28 year-old Christian Clark and 23 year-old Codie Leslie were charged with Prohibited use of weapons and Reckless Endangerment.

Brilliant!

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squirt gun

Minnesota man Scott Wagar had enough. His house had been getting hit for 7 years. Per wcco.com:

Wagar never used to have a problem with homecoming traditions, until he became one. Years ago he caught a group of Willmar High School students trying to cover his house in toilet paper and he made them clean it up. Since then, the pranksters have been coming back for more.

“They come with ketchup, and peanut butter, and eggs and toilet paper,” said Wagar.

So Mr. Wagar decided to fight back.

This year, Wagar borrowed a pair of night vision goggles from his son and waited outside. It wasn’t long before he saw a group of about 20 kids approaching his house from the east, through a soybean field. He confronted them and asked them to leave. They refused and began throwing eggs at him. That’s when Scott unleashed his secret weapon.

“I figured that fox urine against eggs was probably equal force, and so I should be okay,” said Wagar.

Using a Super Soaker squirt gun, Wagar sprayed the teens with fox urine. One teen grabbed him around the neck, and when he wouldn’t let go, Wagar bent his finger back.

Question: Where do you get fox urine, let alone enough to fill a Super Soaker? Regardless, though sentiment in town seems to be on Mr. Wagar’s side, he was charged with 5th degree assault for spraying the little miscreants, and other offenses. Per this article, the charges against Mr. Wagar were dismissed.

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no parking sign park

At some point in your time behind the wheel, you found a great parking spot and said “Wow, we couldn’t get any closer than this!” Well, you were wrong, as this gent proved. As reported by This Is Lancashire:

A driver has been arrested after his car ploughed into a pub in Bolton town centre.

The male driver of the silver discovery vehicle was arrested and led away from the scene of the crash, which occurred just after 5pm at the Dog and Partridge pub in Manor Street.

Onlookers said it looked as though people who were inside the building at the time of the smash kept the driver inside the pub until police could arrive and arrest him.

You’ll find the source, a photo of the scene, and a fair amount more on the story here.

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crowbar crow bar

A crowbar? Really? The Juice wouldn’t waste your valuable time on such an ordinary crime. Maybe a stapler, a tape measure, or a soda can? Nope. You would never, never, ever guess this woman’s weapon of choice. As reported at thelocal.de:

The mother entered the store at 4.25pm and asked to buy a breast pump, police reported.

The Juice can hear the cogs slowly beginning to turn in your brain.

But after handing over a €200-note to pay for her €20 purchase, she suddenly uncovered one breast and used her fingers to squirt milk from it at the pharmacist.

Bam!

She then rummaged through the counter display and went to a second cash register.

Ignoring the pleas of staff and customers to cover herself up, she again rooted through the counter displays and unleashed a fresh spray of milk.

Boom!

Apparently satisfied with her handiwork, she quickly left the pharmacy, leaving the breast pump behind.

The pharmacists only noticed that €100 was missing from their cash register some time later when counting the day’s takings.

Police believe the woman, who they described as having a “robust” figure, long dark hair tied into a ponytail and speaking an unknown language, stole the cash while customers and staff were distracted by her antics.

Officers described the woman’s antics as “almost unbelievable”.

Now that is one for the ages.  Here’s the source.

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

They wouldn’t buy this woman’s plasma the other day. And based on what she did after being rejected, she’ll be peddling her plasma elsewhere in the future. As reported by news4jax.com:

A woman is in the hospital but she soon could be heading to jail after she intentionally drove her car into a Westside plasma donation center, sending eight other people to the hospital, according to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office.

Yikes!

The crash happened after noon Saturday at DCI Biologicals on Blanding Boulevard, a facility where people can donate plasma.

Police said 35-year-old Pamela Miller arrived at DCI Biologicals with her boyfriend Saturday morning. People inside told News4Jax she had taken several pills while waiting.

From there, police said Miller got into an argument with employees.

“We’re getting conflicting stories,” said Lt. Derrick Mitchell, of JSO. “Some folks are saying that she was upset because she wasn’t able to donate. After she was told she couldn’t donate, that’s when she crashed the car into the front of the business.”

Authorities said Miller was the only one inside of the car when she drove it about 40 feet inside of the business. It didn’t take long for police to arrive, as the JSO substation is next door.

40 feet! Shazam! Here’s the source, including photos.

 

 

 

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police stop

DUI checkpoints are unconstitutional because they violate the 4th Amendment, no matter what the Supreme Court said. (Where is the probable cause to stop someone when they are just driving down the road, minding their own business?) Still, it’s the law of the land. Anyway, in this particular case, they did catch an allegedly drunk driver, but in a most unusual way. As reported by The Belleville News-Democrat:

The village of Caseyville lost a police cruiser in the line of duty Monday when an alleged intoxicated driver crashed into it at a sobriety checkpoint.

Yeah, that’s not exactly the way the police would like the checkpoints to function.

They were operating the checkpoint along with Caseyville officers as part of the Illinois Department of Transportation’s Sustained Traffic Enforcement Program.

Neither the officer nor the motorist was injured in the crash. But both cars suffered extensive damage, police said.

The motorist was charged with suspicion of driving under the influence by Illinois State Police.

Click here for the source.

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thief busted hidden camera

Yes, loyal readers, the cameras are everywhere. So you might as well behave yourself. It’s too late for this gent, as reported by The New Hampshire Union Leader:

Detective David Dupont said a homeowner arrived home just before 4 p.m. Aug. 1 to find his 72 Fern lane home burglarized. A Marshall amplifier and electric guitar, kept in an upstairs office, were missing along with a pocketbook, a Coach wristlet and $100 taken from a bedroom closet.

Dupont said the burglar went through every room of the house, leaving drawers open after rifling through them.

But …

Unknown to the burglar, the homeowner had set up a hidden camera and captured two pictures of him smiling and a third with his tongue hanging out, while holding the guitar, amplifier and purse. The photos had a time stamp of 12:40 p.m.

Dupont said the homeowner set up the camera in the event someone broke into his residence, which is located in the Crystal Lake area of the city.

Bam! Here’s the source.

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knives

Working on your knife-throwing in a public area is not a good idea under normal circumstances.  How about under these circumstances, as reported by kval.com (Eugene, Oregon):

Police responded to the commercial district near NW 9th Street and NW Spruce Avenue around 5:30 p.m. Sunday to a report of a man throwing a knife at trees [near a credit union drive-through].

The officer contacted [Drew William] Phillips, [23] who told police he was practicing his knife-throwing skills with a 3.5-inch fixed blade knife.

Phillips had 7 warrants out for his arrest. He was arrested and booked into jail.

Perhaps keeping a low profile would have been wiser? You’ll find the source, including mug shots, here.

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working work at on computer laptop

Yes, this man was busted for going on Facebook, as he should have been. As reported by North Country Now (Potsdam, New York):

A Norwood man was arrested for allegedly contacting a female via Facebook who had an order of protection against him, according to St. Lawrence County sheriff’s deputies.

Matthew J. Allen, 27, was charged with second-degree criminal contempt, officers said.

He was arraigned in Norfolk Town Court and released on his own recognizance, deputies said.

Time to move on, jack. Let the lady be. Here’s the source.

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roadrunner%20coyote%20acme.jpg

If you don’t follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), the bird gets it. And rumor has it that Mr. Wile E. Coyote is ending his longstanding relationship with Acme for “a more reliable supplier.” When asked if maybe he’s the problem, not the equipment, Mr. Coyote maintained his characteristic silence.

And don’t forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

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