Public urination must occur almost as frequently as … um … public intoxication? Anyway, you probably wouldn’t be reading this if the gentleman in question, Mr. Nathan Strawn, had not allegedly urinated on the Nativity scene in a public square in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania! The Juice is not a criminal lawyer, but how about this defense:
Public? I thought it was some old, abandoned barn. Damn you pea-sized bladder!
Back to the crime scene. As reported by The Times Leader:
[King’s College student] Nathan Strawn, 22, was arrested after “he was observed fully exposed urinating on the Nativity scene located on Public Square,” city police said in a press release.
The incident occurred at approximately 1:54 a.m., police said.
Strawn was charged with indecent exposure, desecration of venerated objects, open lewdness, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct.
Say what? “Desecration of venerated objects?” Venerated by who? Regardless of one’s religious beliefs, the problematic nature of this vague charge should be axiomatic. As for the rest of the charges, well … er … uh … um. “Say, how ’bout those [fill in sports team]?”