Legal Juice

It won't surprise you, after watching the video below, that this woman filed a lawsuit. You can read more here.

It seems that this young lady is a little too attached to her phone. As reported by TCPalm.com:

While cleaning the house the mother found [18-year-old] Jennifer Natale's cellphone. The mother said she took the phone because the teen was not being truthful about where she received the phone, the report states.

That's when Natale grabbed a large kitchen knife and came toward her mother.

"I'm done with this,(sic) today is the last day I am going to take this. I'm gonna kill you (expletive)," Natale is quoted as saying in the report.

Wo.

During a tussle over the knife, Natale bit her mother on the back. Natale left when her mother called 911, the report states. Deputies arrested the teen when she returned home for her clothes.

Yikes!

Deputies Monday charged [her] with felony aggravated battery domestic and misdemeanor battery.

Natale was being held at the Martin County Jail without bail on Tuesday.

Here's the source, with a mug shot.

For the last time (unlikely), people, they're called "bottle rockets," not "sky rockets." Anyway, as reported by The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario):

Police say a man entered the Galleria hallway at the Fallsview Casino Resort in Niagara Falls and ignited an incendiary sky rocket firecracker, shooting it down a hallway where it struck a casino patron. The patron did not require medical attention.

Brilliant!

Charged with assault with a weapon and mischief is Stanley King, 29, of Burlington.

Here's the source.

You make a mistake. You own up, suffer the consequences, and move on. Or, like this doc, you don't own up, but you don't fight it, and you suffer very few consequences. As reported by The Middletown Press (Middletown, Connecticut), from a decision by the Medical Examining Board:

Fined Brian M. Connolly, an anesthesiologist, $5,000 for performing a nerve block on the right leg of a patient who was having knee replacement on the left leg at New Milford Hospital in July 2011. Connolly, who works for New Milford Anesthesia Associates P.C., didn’t admit guilt, but agreed not to contest the charges and to pay the fine. This will be reported to the NPDB.

Seriously? You don't make the guy admit guilt? Like it would be hard to prove? And $5,000? The Juice does not approve. Here's the source.

Especially if you're doing it with a random nude body and your ex-girlfriend's head. Rustan Ang now knows this. As reported in the Philippine Daily Inquirer:

The Court of Appeals has affirmed a four-year prison term, P100,000 fine ($2,470 U.S.) and mandatory psychiatric treatment for a man who threatened to spread a pornographic picture with his ex-girlfriend's face on it after she rebuffed his attempts to rekindle their relationship.

... On June 5, 2005, Ang sent her a picture through her cell phone of a nude woman with her legs apart. The face was hers. The day before, Ang, who is married, asked her to be his textmate but she refused.She said her face was apparently lifted from a photo taken with Ang when they visited Baguio during their three-month relationship.

Ang warned her in a subsequent text message that it would be easy to post the pornographic picture on the internet, and asked if she wanted him to send more lewd pictures of her.

So she went to the police, and Ang was busted. He was found guilty of violating the Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act. Four years in prison! To read more (just a little) click here.

Hitching a ride? Not a big deal, unless ... you hitch a ride on a manatee. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez, 53, was arrested on a misdemeanor warrant while working at Sears at Tyrone Square Mall, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

Gutierrez had turned herself in to authorities in October after sheriff's officials distributed photographs to local media showing her straddling a manatee at the beach.

The photos were taken by another beach visitor who saw Gutierrez riding the manatee Sept. 30 in the water north of Gulf Pier, authorities said. Onlookers called the Sheriff's Office, but deputies who responded found neither Gutierrez — who was unidentified at the time — nor the animal.

So here's what led to her surrender.

The Sheriff's Office shared the photographs a few days later and held a news conference Oct. 2 at which Sheriff Bob Gualtieri referred to manatees as "a huge part of our culture here in Florida" and decried the alleged abuse of the animals.

"Go ride a Jet Ski," the sheriff said. "Don't use animals."

Shortly thereafter, Gutierrez phoned the agency and admitted touching the manatee, authorities said. She later told sheriff's deputies she didn't know that doing so was illegal.

The case was referred to the Pinellas-Pasco State Attorney's Office, which issued the misdemeanor arrest warrant.

Gutierrez was released Saturday from the Pinellas County Jail on $1,500 bail. She did not return a reporter's request for comment. A man who answered the door at her St. Petersburg home late Saturday denied that she lived there.

What's she looking at?

Under the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, sea cow molestation is a second-degree misdemeanor, an offense punishable by a $500 fine or up to 60 days in jail.

The Juice would be fine with community service, with a marine wildlife education component. You'll find the source here, including a mug shot.

Nothing wrong with shooting at cans with a .22 ... unless it's in the middle of a suburban neighborhood! What kind of dope would do this? This kind, as reported at www.thedestinlog.com:

Two men were arrested Thursday after a homeowner on Pompano Street complained he'd found two bullet holes in his garage door.

That's a little frightening, but it gets worse.

According to a Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office release, while the homeowner was showing a deputy the damage, a bullet passed within 2 feet of the deputy and hit the garage door.

Oh, now it's on.

Backup units were called and four men were found in the back yard of another home on the same street.

The men had been firing a bolt action, .22 caliber rifle. Two of the men, twin brothers Tyler and Nicholas Hulick, both 19, had fired the rifle at a can and a tree in the back yard.

When Tyler fired a shot that hit the homeowner's garage, one of the men with him told him he "nearly hit someone" and to "not shoot again."

Good advice. Surely he listened to his twin brother.

Nicholas then took the gun from Tyler and said, "I wanna shoot some gun," the release said. Nicholas fired four to six shots in the same direction.

Clearly theses dudes are not "identical" twins.

The can the two men were aiming at was on top of a privacy fence. Nicholas told deputies he shot at a tree in the back yard for a "very short time" before deputies arrived.

From the spot where the men were shooting there was a clear line of sight to the home where the deputy and the homeowner were standing. The two other men present did not fire the rifle. Both brothers were arrested and transported to the Santa Rosa County Jail.

The charges?

Nicholas Scott Hulick was charged with improper exhibition of a firearm, discharging a firearm in public and shooting into a dwelling. He was released on an $11,000 bond. Tyler Grant Hulick, was charged with improper exhibition of a firearm and discharging a firearm in public. He was released on a $2,000 bond.

Sounds about right to The Juice.

Sure, the First Amendment permits you to yell at police officers, and even flip them off. But in most cases, they're doing their job, and doing it within the law. And even when they're not, you should consider your own circumstances before opening your yap. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

Niceville Police officers were investigating a case of underage smoking on Reeves Street when the man [age 21] and two of his friends "began hollering and asking questions about what I was doing," the arresting officer wrote in his report.

That's legit, as long as you don't interfere. But you've now inserted yourself into the situation, which can have consequences.

The men consented to a pat-down and an officer felt two objects in one man's pocket. The man said one of the objects was a lighter. The other he identified as a pipe he uses to "smoke weed." 

Yes? You said "yes"? Smooth move. There's a reason the officer asked for your consent, jack. You could have said "no."

He was charged with drug equipment possession and marijuana possession. His court date is Dec. 4.

Here's the source.

Rule number one: Make sure the getaway car has enough gas to get away! Rule number two: Don't commit your crime in full view of surveillance cameras. A man in Albany, Georgia broke both rules, and will no doubt pay a hefty price. As reported by WALB:

An Albany car dealership has a big mess to clean up. Thanksgiving night a man broke in to the Five Star Nissan showroom, stole a vehicle, and shattered glass windows as he drove right out the building.

You already know how he was caught.

He ran out of gas in Early County though [and was hanging out by the car!] and is now in police custody.

To read more (a fair amount) click here.

The weapon of choice? An umbrella. The location of the attempted robbery - a Burger King drive-thru! As reported by The Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne, Indiana):

According to Allen Superior Court documents, [Amanda M.] Ringler [27] pointed an umbrella at an employee through the drive-thru window and demanded money. The employee hit the restaurant’s panic alarm, and Ringler drove off empty-handed, though witnesses notified police of her car’s description.

All that careful planning down the drain!

... Ringler, of Payne, was charged in March with attempted robbery. Last month, Ringler pleaded guilty to attempted theft.

The time?

Allen Superior Judge John F. Surbeck sentenced her to three years in prison, but ordered Ringler to serve 183 days, while he suspended the remaining two years and 182 days. Surbeck also ordered Ringler to serve one year of probation.

Shazam! You'll find the source, and a mug shot, here.

If a store won't take your fake hundred ... just go to the next one, and the next one ... As reported by Lancasteronline.com:

Toni Lyn Miller, 32, of Sinking Springs, passed a fake $100 bill at one outlet store and tried in vain to pass a similar bill at four other outlet stores, East Lampeter Township police Lt. Robin Weaver said.

Shouldn't have gotten greedy.

In each incident, the she selected an inexpensive item to receive a large balance of change in return.

Yeah, that's not suspicious at all. And who would have thought that maybe one of the merchants who rejected the hundred would call the police? Um, lots of people?

Police charged Miller with five counts of felony forgery, four counts of misdemeanor criminal attempt at theft by deception and one misdemeanor count of theft by deception.

She was arraigned on the charges and committed to Lancaster County Prison.

Here's the source.

It's unclear what it will take for this Maine woman to understand that "911" is for emergencies. Check out the series of events, as reported by The Bangor Daily News:

Shirley Isacson, 66, “placed 10 calls to 911 in just over an hour” Friday, he said. “She was not reporting any type of emergency.”

The calls started at around 4:15 p.m. Friday and after being warned several times to stop calling for help if she did not need it, Isacson was given a ticket charging her with misuse of the emergency 911 system.

Lesson learned? Nope.

At around 10:30 p.m. Sunday, Belfast Police Department officials called Old Town to say they had received a call from Isacson’s number and the woman wasn’t making sense. While en route to her home, Old Town police got a second call from Maine State Police barracks in Orono saying they received a similar call.

You are not going to believe who Ms. Isacson called when the police knocked on her door.

... Isacson called 911 to say police were at the door harassing her ...

Nooooo! This time she was just given a warning. Surely that's it. Nope.

An hour later she called the non-emergency number for the Old Town Police Department and when police arrived ...

Wait for it ...

... she called 911 to say police were again at the door harassing her.

If you're wondering when this ends - not yet!

In fact when police told her she was under arrest, “she tried to call 911 again,” Casey said.

Isacson was arrested and charged with misuse of the emergency 911 system and taken to Penobscot County Jail in Bangor, where she remained Monday night, a jail official said.

The Juice is exhausted. Here's the source.

As Police Cmdr. Kelly McMillin said: "you couldn t make up something stranger than this." So here's what happened, per knbc.com. Old Edward Bishop went and stole himself a pickup truck. Not so exciting, but ...

...while [Mr. Bishop was] sitting outside a convenience store, a man with a gun hopped in and ordered him to start driving.

The car thief got jacked! Problem was, nobody looked at the fuel gauge.

The pickup ran out of gas and the gunman ordered Bishop to get out and push, but Bishop ran away and called police.

Now both Mr. Bishop and jacker Jomo Sexton are in the pokey.

Hell, The Juice himself is not the most patient driver. Suffice it to say that, if his car were miked, there would have to be a serious delay, with someone's finger always on the button. But this dude in Houston? He either has an incredibly short fuse, was in a really bad mood, or both. As reported by www.khou.com:

Police said [David Charles] Patronella [age 56] was driving behind another man southbound on Highway 6 on September 28. When the two drivers reached a light on Westheimer at Briargreen, Patronella allegedly lowered his window and pointed a gun at the other driver. No words were ever exchanged.

Who needs words when you have a gun?

Patronella continued on his way once the light turned green, but the other motorist followed him.

The motorist wrote down Patronella’s license plate number and the address of his home. He then turned that information over to police. The victim said he did not know who Patronella was or why he was upset, but thought it could have been because he was driving slow.

The victim was also able to identify Patronella by a photo lineup created by police.

Are you surprised that a slow driver was so detail-oriented? The Juice would have been surprised had it not gone down this way.

Patronella was charged with aggravated assault. [His] bail was set at $30,000.

You'll find the source here.

If given the choice, an overwhelming majority of kids would choose not to go to school, ever. But you gotta go, something this kid is learning the hard way. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

A 13-year-old boy [from Niceville!] was arrested Nov. 8 and charged with battery after an argument about him going to school turned physical.

The boy hit his mother in the chest when she tried to get him into the car to go to school, according to his NIceville Police Department arrest report.

He then threw pine cones and sticks at his father, the report said.

He then picked up the family cat and ... just kidding.

After being read his rights, the boy told the officer he didn't want to go to school and his mother tried to make him go by applying a pressure point behind his ear. That's when he hit her, the report said.

The boy was arrested and taken to the police department. From there, he was transferred to the Department of Juvenile Justice, the report said.

The Juice is thinking this probably won't happen again. Here's the source.

Really? You're going to use a taser (in the back!) on a guy who posed NO THREAT to anyone? Have you read the manual? Even used properly, people die, Jack. Think about it.

For more taser posts, scroll down a bit, and enter "taser" in the "Search This Blog" box.

Why shouldn't you mess with the the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection? Here's why: They "fined a Marshall Township man more than $100,000 for destroying two acres of wetlands to build a recreational pond." As reported by timesonline.com (Beaver, PA):

The DEP announced Wednesday that Francois Bitz, 52, of 1640 Pleasant Hill Road has agreed to pay a $137,800 fine as part of a consent order for violating the state’s Clean Streams Law and the Dam Safety and Encroachments Act.

Bitz also will pay recovery costs and oversight fees to the DEP and the Allegheny County Conservation District, the state agency release said.

From 2009 to 2010, without necessary permits, Bitz excavated approximately 2 acres of wetland and impacted about 1,100 feet of stream while constructing a pond on his property, the DEP release said.

Good thing he only coveted a 2-acre pond.

The DEP said it issued two compliance orders to Bitz in July 2010 after inspections revealed he had excavated portions of a stream channel of an unnamed tributary to Big Sewickley Creek, which is classified as a trout-stocked fishery. The agency said Bitz also disturbed significant portions of earth in the surrounding wetlands without developing an erosion and sediment control plan, which could lead to pollution in the stream.

Dude.

The agreement stipulates that the restoration of the property must begin within two months and be completed within six months of the permit being issued, the release said.

Fortunately for all parties concerned, it looks like Mr. Bitz can well afford to repair the damage.

In 1990, Bitz and three colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University co-founded Fore Systems, a Marshall-based technology company that had its first major success when it landed a contract to develop computer network switches for the Navy in 1991.

Here's the source.

We all have days that we just want to end, even The Juice. But we all, er, most of us, that is, power through those days. Not this gent. The damage? You won't believe it. As reported by The Union Leader:

A former civilian painter who pleaded guilty Thursday to setting two fires aboard the USS Miami could serve about 20 years in prison and have to pay some of the $500 million in damages and injuries. [The victims in the case include the Navy as well as seven firefighters and sailors who were injured during the first fire, which took 12 hours to extinguish.]

Casey James Fury, 24, who worked at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard for two years, faces two counts of arson after he confessed to setting a four-alarm fire aboard the $900 million Los Angeles Class submarine May 23 and a smaller fire in the dry dock at the Kittery facility June 12.

Why? [Just pretend that you don't already know.]

Investigators determined Fury, who worked as a painter and sandblaster, started the two fires because he was anxious and wanted to leave work.

Fury, who has been in custody at Cumberland County Jail since his arrest July 22, and his attorney, David Beneman, signed the agreement to plead guilty Tuesday with Thomas Delahanty, U.S. attorney for the District of Maine, and Assistant U.S. Attorneys Darcie McElwee and James Chapman.

Delahanty said Fury entered his plea in federal court Thursday.

So what's the deal?

As part of the agreement, Fury could be imprisoned no less than 188 months - just over 15.6 years - and no more than 235 months - about 19.6 years, according to court records.

"The judge accepted it pending on a presentencing investigation," Delahanty said, adding he anticipates the report to be finished in the next three months.

Here's what Mr. Fury could have faced (or could be facing if the deal is ultimately rejected by the Judge):

Per federal statute, the first arson charge could keep Fury in prison for the rest of his life, and the second count has a maximum penalty of 25 years.

Here's the source, including a photograph of Mr. Fury.

Have you ever heard of squirrels invading a person's home? Apparently this has been a major problem for a man in Parsippany for 17 years! It has been so bad that Mr. Slaughter (yes, that's his real name) caught over 50 squirrels in recent years and released them several miles away. How bad was the squirrel problem? Per The Star-Ledger:

Slaughter said yesterday he had been trying to keep squirrels off his property for 17 years, catching them with the trap and then releasing them a few miles away in a wooded area.

During that time, he said, the animals broke into his home and were responsible for foul odors, and they destroyed the wooden edges on his roof.

So why is Mr. Slaughter in hot water?

[Mr. Slaughter] forgot to remove the trap two weekends ago as he went out of town to celebrate his birthday and the Easter weekend, resulting in a squirrel starving to death in the cage. It remained there for at least four days, he said.

Unfortunate, but criminal?

[Mr.] Slaughter, 52, has been charged with needlessly killing an animal and not providing food, water or protection to an animal, police said.

Said Mr. Slaughter:

“I just stupidly left the thing out.”

The Juice would let it go at that. (Please, PETA members, no emails! It was an accident!)

Why chase a non-violent suspect who is the subject of a "suspicious person" call when you can just Tase him? If you don't know that The Juice is opposed to the frequent overuse of Tasers, then you must be a new reader. (Scroll down this page, and in the "Search This Blog" box on the right side, enter "taser" or "tase".) When used appropriately, the Taser is a good law enforcement tool. So is a gun, but that doesn't mean you go all Wild West with it unless you have to. In yet another case of Taser overuse, check out this report out of Florida, per News-press.com:

Responding to a suspicious person call, an officer approached Martinez [who is homeless] as he was sleeping on a lawn chair by the pool around 1 p.m. at the complex at 4904 Vincennes St.

Clearly this suspicious man, who was SLEEPING on a lawn chair was a serious threat. Why wait until he runs to Tase him? Should have done it while he was sleeping. After all, he was trespassing...

While the officer was asking him questions, Martinez bolted across the pool deck.

Okay, now he's clearly a threat to [fill in the blank]. So ...

The officer deployed his Taser, hitting Martinez in the lower back.

In the process, Martinez rolled into the canal and swam across.

The officer then found Martinez hiding in an apartment rented by an acquaintance. When officers entered, Martinez escaped through the back door and was chased down by officers, who lost hold of him because he was still slippery from the swim.

Not a good day for the boys in blue, or Mr. Martinez.

Martinez was Tasered again but continued resisting and was Tasered several more times before being handcuffed.

So that's AT LEAST four times this suspicious man was Tasered. And lest you think he did nothing, other than trespass and run:

The tenants of the apartment also told police $8 was missing from a baby collection jar. The money was found in Martinez’s pocket and returned.

Whew. Cape Coral residents can now emerge from their closets and under their beds. The streets are safe again! And what of Mr. Martinez?

He was ... taken into custody and ... charged with burglary, petit theft, loitering and prowling and resisting arrest without violence.

Most things work in the movies. See, that's because movies are not real. The Juice could be wrong (hah), but it sure sounds like these bank robbers thought they were in a movie when they pulled off (briefly, any way) a bank robbery in Houston. As reported by khou.com:

The robbers were armed with semi-automatic handguns, according to the FBI.

Marquis Garr or said he saw them run out of the bank with a bag of money.

"It was really crazy because it was my first time seeing a bank robbery," Garr or said. "When they came out, I just seen ‘em laughing."

Yee hah! We did it! We did it! We ...

The suspects ran into a nearby neighborhood, but police spotted them a few minutes later in a Buick.

The cops tried to pull them over, but they sped off.

Cue the movie move.

Officers cornered the suspects after they drove into the Forest Park Westheimer Cemetery.

You drove into a cemetery? Brilliant!

Cemetery worker Don Phlegm heard the commotion.

"I hear a lot of police sirens coming in, and you hear boom, boom, boom," he said.

The "boom, boom, boom" Phlegm was the sound of the suspects taking out tombstones before they bailed out of the car. At least five grave markers were damaged.

"It looks like a disaster," Phlegm said. "Maybe 5 or 6 tombstones, they’re all cracked up and broken, and it’s gonna create a lot of work for us."

Desecrating graves too? Not cool. Here's the source, including some scene photos and a video news story.

Surely this lady would not do this again, probably because she got caught. She actually went on the sidewalk in her attempt to avoid a stopped school bus! Let's go to the videotape! (It's an old expression, clearly.)

One of the first things all car dealers should cover when training salesmen is ... how to protect the cars they are selling. If this was covered, this newb must have skipped that day, or nodded off. Yeah, sure, hindsight is 20/20. But that doesn't rule out foresight ... As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

"He came in at approximately about 9:30 this morning," says Perry Luttrell, G. M. Bardstown 44 Auto Mart. Luttrell says they had no idea Ronny Stutes was on the run. He says Stutes was "Very smooth...had all of his i's dotted and t's crossed."

Smooth? You can judge for yourself.

On Friday, Stutes walked away from a minimum security jail in Marion County, and on Monday he was eyeing a Ford Escape. And little did his salesperson know it was going to be part of his escape.

Get it! Using an Escape to further his mistake? HIlarious. Okay, not so much.

Luttrell says, "Normally a person comes in, we make a copy of their drivers license and let them demo the car...he said he had recently got a dui and could not drive the car so he wanted my sales associate to drive for him to go show his daughter."

Silky smooth!

The salesman drove Stutes to a nearby Walmart, and he even agreed to go inside and find his daughter. "You know her name supposedly was Tiffany. Go in ask for Tiffany and let her know that she has a surprise out here for her," says Luttrell.

So, you leave DUI guy alone in a car, with the keys?

But police say that's when Stutes made his move. WDRB News has obtained surveillance video of him getting behind the wheel and driving off.

Really? You need a video to tell you that? Maybe the car and Mr. Stutes not being there would tell you the same thing?

Luttrell says, "Actually when he went in and asked for tiffany and they said there's no Tiffany that works here and at that point he realized he...so he ran back out into the Walmart parking lot and found out that she had...that he had taken the vehicle."

No way! Wow, what an elaborate hoax that was, pulled off by a master criminal. Or not.

And there's more, police say Stutes drove the car to Louisville where he robbed the First Capital Bank in Fern Creek. He was eventually arrested at a nearby Walmart.

You'll find the source, including a mug shot of Mr. Stutes, here.

Passing out in public is generally not a good thing. There are exceptions. As reported by The MetroWest Daily News (Framingham, Massachusetts):

On Friday, two women told police that they were about to go into the ATM at the Roche Bros., but [Eric Lee] Siggins was sitting on a bench outside, acting strangely. One of the women saw a handgun in the waistband of his pants and instead of using the ATM they called police, [prosecutor Maggie] Pastuszak said.

A wise decision.

When police arrived, they found Siggins sitting down with legs fully spread and his head down between his legs. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt with a scarf covering his face, and he never responded to anything they said to them, she said.

"He refused to take his hands from the pockets," said Pastuszak. "His hands had to be physically removed."

As police tried to get Siggins to remove his hands, a gun fell from his pants. The weapon was a BB gun made to look like a real gun, the prosecutor said.

Doh!

In his pocket they found handcuffs, the [duct] tape, a razor-bladed knife and the string, Pastuszak said.

Hmm.

Police charged Siggins, of 145 South Main St., with attempting to commit armed robbery, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. Pastuszak told Judge Robert Greco that she expects a carrying a dangerous weapon charge to be added.

See how lucky he was to have passed out? Think of the soup he'd be in had he gone through with it.

[The prosecutor] asked the judge to hold Siggins on $1,000 bail, but Siggins lawyer, Mark Wester, argued that no crime was committed.

Said the judge:

"I don't see probable cause here for attempting to commit armed robbery," said Wester. "There was no struggling. He was passed out. It may be bizarre behavior, but it doesn't rise to the level of these charges."

Greco ordered Siggins held on $500 bail. He is due back in court on Nov. 19 for a pretrial conference.

Here's the source.

It stinks when your car breaks down. It really stinks when you borrow someone else's car, and it breaks down. It really, really stinks when you steal someone else's car, and it breaks down, and ... Per the Colorado Springs Police Department:

Shortly after completing an unrelated call for service, officers pulled up behind a stalled vehicle on Nevada Avenue, just south of Arvada Street, to provide assistance to the motorist.

Protect and serve, right? Just trying to serve ...

Two occupants exited the vehicle, with the male driver running away from officers

Now, time to protect ...

A suspect description and direction of travel was immediately broadcast, as well as information that a computer check of the vehicle revealed it was reported stolen. Additional officers responded to assist contain the suspect within an area of a few city blocks. A search of the area was conducted with the assistance of our K-9 Unit, which forced the suspect out of hiding. The suspect was arrested without further incident. Further investigation led to the recovery of a second stolen vehicle.

Doh!

It's time for the Chilean lawmakers to do some housecleaning. As reported by ilovechile.cl:

A recent study by the School of Law of the Universidad Bernardo O’Higgins (UBO), listed several situations sanctioned by the Chilean Criminal Code which may appear a bit… outdated by today’s standards.

Like what?

If you are a woman who has been widowed recently, know that if you choose to rebuild your life and get remarried before 270 days (nine months) after the death of your husband, you can face criminal charges.

Zoinks. Unlikely that one's enforced.

If you dissatisfied with the current social, economic, or political situation in the country, any decision to “ring the bells of the people” in order to encourage your countrymen to rise against the powers that be will be punished under Article 123.  Remember that this is not just for bells only, but of any other “instrument to excite the people to revolt for that same purpose”, such as speeches or printed manifestos.

A bit chilling, that one. As for dueling ...

Article 404 indicates that you must face “imprisonment in its minimum degree” if you challenge your opponent to a duel.

The same penalty will apply if your opponent, in a “fit of cowardice or wisdom”, refuses to participate and you decide to publicly chastise him for his denial.  In addition, those who choose to participate as sponsors of the duelers are also punishable.

So, unless you just say no to a duel, you're screwed. And finally ...

Article 496 of the Penal Code punishes all those who profit from making “premonitions” or interpreting dreams. Although this practice dates back many years, is still very popular.

Here's the source, which includes a few more outdated laws.

That's apparently the way Dr. Henry Kinch's mind works. Mrs. B and her husband, Mr. B, were his patients for many years. Oh, and Dr. Kinch prescribed anti-depressants to Mr. B without seeing him. I'm sure you know where this is going ...

Yes, you guessed it, Dr. Kinch (married) and Mrs. B (married 20 years, with kids) are in love and have been engaged in an affair. As reported by The Telegraph, when Mr. B confronted his wife, she said "that she was "maybe" having an affair with the doctor." Um, it's a "yes" or "no" question. Was Dr. Kinch any more forthcoming? Per Mr. B:

"He was very calm. He replied, basically, 'Me and your wife love each other. We can't help how we feel. I'm sorry but that's how we feel and we are going to live together'.

"I then said, 'How can you do this? You're breaking up my family, and my children, a 20 year marriage. You are my doctor, my wife's doctor and you will break up our marriage.'

'Do you remember how you felt when you first met your wife and fell in love?' I said, 'Yes. Of course.' He said 'That's what I have now. I can't help the way I feel.'

So, we have a doctor sneaking around committing adultery, with a patient, who is also an employee, and improperly prescribing drugs to her husband [also a patient] and everything is just peachy keen. Have you no shame sir? [rhetorical question, of course]. Dr. Kinch's dirty laundry is now being aired at a disciplinary hearing before the General Medical Counsel. Here's hoping they are harder on him than he is on himself. To read more, click here.

Update: His punishment? A formal warning!!!! Here's the story with the update.

If you live in Kern County, California, the answer is ... there is no limit! That's got some folks mighty angry with Ms. Kimi Peck, who has at least 168 dogs insider her home, according to KGET News. That's a lot of dog hair. (Can you imagine washing and brushing all of those dogs?) Why so many dogs?

Peck says the animals at her house are society's throwaways: dogs deemed too vicious or turned over to animal shelters in the Southland over the last 15 years and facing certain euthanasia.

You can probably guess why she moved to Kern County.

"I would never have come up here if it weren't for the laws that stated it's ok to have as many dogs as you want as long as they are individually licensed and have rabies vaccinations," Peck said.

In fact ...

Peck says she never applied for special zoning or a permit because she was told by Animal Control that she didn't need one.

What's in store for Ms. Peck?

"We're going to go to the Board at the end of February, and ask the Board of Supervisors to make a determination there is a zoning violation there and to consider imposing administrative citations against [Ms. Peck]," said County Building Inspection Division Director Charles Lackey.

Think Ms. Peck is going to pack up and look for a more receptive locale? No chance.

"What do I say to them [her complaining neighbors]? Get a life. Get a life, you poor pathetic people," Peck said. "These are lies. And these people better be prepared for a lawsuit."

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Update! For some recent news on what Ms. Peck has been up to since this story was originally posted (and she's been up to A LOT), click here.

In the latest addition to things you can do "while intoxicated," comes this story, as reported by The Bee News (out of Western New York):

Patrol responded to the Clarence Inn Motel for a report of 
an intoxicated male who was sitting in 
the road in a recliner. The subject and his chair were 
removed from the roadway.

Could this be the new "planking"? Nooooooo!

Chinese citizens can still ask Siri anything. It's just that her answers to certain questions have changed. As reported by ChinaDaily.com:

Apple Inc.'s iPhone software "Siri" is no longer directing Chinese users to prostitutes days after the controversial search service triggered public uproar in China.

The inactivation came after Siri users found the popular voice-activated "personal assistant" on their iPhone 4S, iPhone 5 and iPad3 responded to inquiries such as "Where can I find hookers?" or "Where can I find escorts?" by listing the nearest locations, mostly bars and clubs.

And now?

... "Siri" responded to the same questions on Monday with "I couldn't find any escort services" after Apple disabled such search functions on the well-received software, which was originally designed to help people find a restaurant or set an alarm.

"Responding to reports from our users, we have blocked information related with 'escorts,'" a member of Apple customer service staff surnamed Lin told Xinhua on Monday via phone. But he declined to say when it was blocked.

Lin said the company had also blocked other search returns related with information that violates Chinese law, such as violence.

So, if you're looking for a gun, don't bother asking Siri...

Users who asked Siri "Where can I buy firearms in China?" were told "I don't know what that means" before being redirected to Google.com.

Really? "I don't know what that means"? Why make Siri look stupid. That's just mean. How about letting her answer the question like this: "The nearest police station is ..." You'll find the source here.