Legal Juice

The world is so vast and full of excitement and wonder. Why would you not want to explore it? Well, in a word, xBox. As reported by The Review (East Liverpool, Ohio):

A deputy was called to a home on Wayne Bridge Road, Lisbon, at 9:10 a.m. Sunday, because a 17-year-old boy became unruly after his aunt and uncle took away his xBox system. The boy was told he needed to mind his aunt and uncle, and he agreed there would be no further problem.

Hey kid, take a hike.

So maybe you're sitting up above the rest of the folks in the courtroom. But this stuff? Uh-uh. Nope. Fuhgeddaboutit. It's totally unacceptable. As reported by The Houston Chronicle:

"It was horrible," Houston attorney Wesley Clements said about the alleged behavior of District Judge Lonnie Cox. "When he started yelling like that at the top of his lungs, it got my attention."

The allegations are in a motion filed by Clements asking that Cox remove himself from a plea hearing in the probation violation case of Maricelda Marie Aguilar, 22, of Alvin.

Clements said he was in the process of filing a complaint with the State Commission on Judicial Conduct about Cox's conduct during the Oct. 5 hearing.

And about that motion to recuse himself from the case?

Cox said he was unable to comment about an ongoing case. He filed an order refusing to recuse himself and referring the recusal decision to the presiding judge for the 2nd Administrative Judicial Region, Montgomery County District Judge Olen Underwood.

So what went down with Judge Cox?

Aguilar, now seven months pregnant, has been in the Galveston County Jail since July for violating her probation on an earlier drug conviction. She learned shortly before her arrest that she was pregnant and while in jail has developed a bacterial infection she fears could harm the fetus, she said in a written statement attached the recusal motion. Clements said she also has a condition that cannot be fully diagnosed until after Aguilar gives birth.

The Galveston County drug court had obtained Cox's agreement to move Aguilar from the Montgomery County Jail to a drug rehabilitation center until she gave birth, allowing her mother to accompany her for medical treatment when necessary, Clements said.

Probation Department Director Janis Bane said the District Attorney's Office approved the agreement. "It sounded like a good option and a good use of our resources," Bane said. Nevertheless, the department will respect the judge's decision, she said.

Everyone is in agreement. So what's the problem? Well ...

At the hearing, Cox became agitated when he discovered that Aguilar had missed several meetings with her probation officer, according to the recusal motion. "The judge while sitting on the bench in open court looked at the plea papers and then screamed, 'This is shit. This kind of bullshit is not what the drug court should be doing and it is just costing the taxpayers money,'" the motion states.[expletives reinserted]

Oh. So that's the "temper" in "judicial temperament." Now it makes sense!

The judge told Aguilar she was worthless and asked "if she thought he would turn her loose to kill the child," the motion states. "He told the defendant she was worthless and then told the defendant she was not worth the paper and ink that the plea agreement was written on and proceeded to rip the papers to shreds and throw the papers in the air.

"Then he stormed out of the courtroom."

True, these are just allegation in a motion, but ...

The court reporter was not present during the alleged outburst, Clements said, but there were at least 14 witnesses. Aguilar's mother was present and her statement was attached to the recusal motion.

That's a bunch of witnesses. And ...

The flare-up is not the first attributed to Cox, attorney Byron Fulk said. Fulk said Cox erupted in anger when he and and an assistant district attorney presented a plea agreement in a similar case.

Like Aguilar, the defendant had violated probation after conviction on a drug charge, Fulk said. "The judge takes the bench, looks at the file and says, 'I'm not going to do this,'" he said. "Then he pounds his fist on the table and starts screaming at the client."

When Fulk tried to reason with the judge, he said, Cox "starts yelling at me, 'Step away from the bar, counselor, step away from the bar.' "

Attorneys know that the judge almost always wins these battles. That's assuming that the attorney has the nerve to even engage in such a battle.

Fulk said he admired Clements for doing what other attorneys feared to do. Fulk, who supported Cox when he ran for office in 2008, said, "It's what we call in the legal profession, black robe disease," he said. "In my opinion he's a bully."

You'll find the source, including a photo of the judge, here.

Couples fight. Couples make up. In between, sometimes things are done or said. But this? Gents, if you insist on continuing to read this, be forewarned, it will hurt. As reported by The Jersey Journal (at nj.com):

A Jersey City man who went to sleep after an argument with his girlfriend was awakened late Thursday night when she bit his scrotum, tearing right through the skin, authorities said.

Yeowwwwwww!!!!!

Linda Mendez, 40, was charged early this morning with aggravated assault and domestic violence, over the objection of her boyfriend, who told police he did not want to press charges. The mother of three appeared in court yesterday and her bail was set at $35,000 with a 10 percent cash option.

The 46-year-old victim told police that the two argued at 11:30 Thursday, and to avoid the argument he went to sleep, reports said. Minutes later Mendez woke him by biting his neck and his scrotum, causing bleeding, police said.

Maybe he doesn't want to press charges because he's terrified what she'll bite next? Here's the source, with a photo of Ms. Mendez.

Or else what? If you don't like The Juice on Facebook, and/or follow him on Twitter (@LegalJuice), expect a visit from Officer Cartman. He gets very angry if you do not respect his authority.

This woman either had a serious case of the munchies, is just filled with rage, or is an alien sent to earth specifically to gather chicken nuggets. As reported by WNWO in Toledo, Ohio:

Toledo Police say Melodi Dushane, 24, stopped at the fast-food restaurant at Front and Main Streets in East Toledo early Friday morning and asked for chicken nuggets. When the drive-thru attendant told her the restaurant was only serving breakfast and that the item was not available, Dushane reached through the window and punched the attendant in the mouth.

Talk about shooting the messenger ... But that's not all ...

After a night manager came to the window, Dushane began swinging her fists at her. The manager attempted to pull Dushane through the window by her hair. After being released, Dushane then punched through the drive-thru's glass window.

Damn!

Dushane was treated at Mercy St. Charles Hospital for her injuries and then incarcerated at the Lucas County Jail.

In court on Saturday, Dushane pleaded not guilty to a felony vandalism charge. She was released from police custody on her own recognizance and is scheduled to be in court next on Jan. 28.

Think she'll be going back to that McDonald's anytime soon? Nope.

A judge has ordered that Dushane not visit the 90 Main St. McDonald's location again.

That leaves about 13,000 other McDonald's (in the U.S. - really) that she is free to visit... Here's the source, including a photo of Ms. Dushane.

There's this thing called "plausible deniability." "Hey, I did not know anything about that!" See if you think this gent can rely on this defense. As reported by The Guyana Chronicle:

Colin Manson, 25, of Lot 377 Turkeyen, Greater Georgetown, was remanded to prison yesterday on a drug trafficking charge.

The prosecutor said the defendant was at Ogle Airport, with an intention of going to Port Kaituma, North West District, when a bag on his back was searched by (CANU) officers and found to contain the narcotic.

Now, maybe he could argue that someone put the drugs in his backpack without his knowledge. But ...

On being taken to the CANU Head Office, another search was conducted on the defendant’s person and one more package containing the illegal substance was discovered in his crotch, the prosecutor related.

Now what do you have to say?

Manson denied having knowledge of the illegal substance.

Perhaps Mr. Manson might want to consider an alternative defense? You can read more (a little bit) here.

Maybe this guy and the Niceville police officers are all regular Juice readers? While this is unlikely (The Juice aspires, but is realistic about his current reach), their behavior is indicative of the knowledge of a regular reader. As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

On Oct. 17 officers were called to a Natheny Street residence to enforce an emergency injunction against a man, who was told to stay away from a woman and her son.

He gathered his personal belongings from a back bedroom, then put them back in the room he gathered them from.

As he was leaving, the woman and her son asked that he take his copy of the injunction with him. "The defendant laughed as he vacated," the officer wrote. "I stepped to the door and verbally advised him, 'Do not come within 500 feet of this residence,' and the defendant's reply was, 'F--- you.' "

As he was crossing a nearby church parking lot, "he displayed his middle finger towards us as we passed. (The Bird)," the officer wrote.

An f-bomb and a bird, but no arrest - at least not for that.

The man returned to within 372.5 feet of the residence as measured by laser before stopping and challenging police to measure his distance.

Doh!

He was charged with violation of an injunction and has a Nov. 13 court date.

You'll find the source here.

Hey lady, get a life. If you were so offended by what you thought this guy was doing, why did you follow him? For the children? As reported by tcpalm.com:

A 34-year-old woman told Port St. Lucie police she saw a man in his vehicle in a plaza on Southwest Port St. Lucie Boulevard. He was "making an up and down motion in the area of his crotch," a recently released police report states.

The woman didn't see his genitals but believed the man was masturbating. He started to circle the parking lot, and she began following him and called police.

Get a hobby! Or is being a busy body your hobby? Or is it keeping the world safe from masturbators?

He noticed the woman looking at him and stopped.

Police spoke to the man, also 34, who explained "he got the urge to scratch his testicles," a report states.

"He raised his right short leg up and began to scratch himself because of a rash ... on his testicles," a report states.

The proof is in the, um, er, uh ...

He asked whether he could show police the rash to prove he wasn't engaged in anything else.

He "presented" his testicles to an officer, who verified the rash.

Police determined the man, who has no criminal history, did not expose himself and found no proof that he was performing lewd acts in public.

Think this one is making its way around the police precinct? Here's the source, which includes the police incident report.

Why should police officer read Legal Juice? If they did, they would know, as all regular Juice readers do, that the Constitution allows folks to flip them off, and to cuss. Sure, they can make an arrest, but in the end, the flipper or cusser will be walking away with some cash. (For example, see this recent Juice post.) Until Legal Juice is required reading for all police officers, The Juice has no doubt that this will happen over and over again. The most recent example was reported by The Marietta Daily Journal.

Amy Barnes, a member of the Occupy movement, says she flipped off police and cussed at them as she was on her bike on Austell Road near her Marietta home. Two Cobb Police officers had teenagers stopped outside a store as Barnes showed her displeasure from the moving bike.

A two-fer - flipping and cussing. Whether she was disrespectful or not is irrelevant. The First Amendment applies regardless. So what happened next?

Police followed and arrested her couple of blocks away."They told me I shouldn't be presenting a lewd gesture in front of children," said Barnes.

The children!

Police charged Barnes with disorderly conduct. She says she spent 23 hours in jail -- six in solitary confinement. The misdemeanor is still making its' way through the courts, but Barnes' attorney, Cynthia Counts, says police violated Barnes' constitutional rights.

"It's infringing speech; the government cannot just chase down a citizen and arrest them when they speak their mind," said Counts.

Yes, it is. Now stop wasting everyone's time, dismiss the criminal case, and pay the lady. And next time, as difficult as you may find it, just walk away. Here's the source. (Image via Thirteen-Fifty/Shutterstock.com)

So you say you did this for lunch money? Who knew the cost of living in Goose Creek, South Carolina was so high? As reported by The Post and Courier (Charleston, South Carolina):

Goose Creek police responded to an alarm at Stratford High School about 9:30 p.m. They chased down a man with a yellow crowbar, a prying instrument and $125 in dollar bills that had been taken from vending machines, according to the incident report.

The man told police he was breaking in because he was starting a new job the next day and needed lunch money, according to the report.

And the next day, and the day after that, and ...

Matthew Thomas Moses, 33, of Ladson was charged with second-degree burglary, making implements capable of being used in a crime and resisting arrest. He’s being held at the Berkeley County jail.

Here's the source.

Who do you think this woman called after the crash, on the way to the hospital? She called her insurance company - to report it, right? Well, not exactly. As reported by PhillyBurbs.com:

On the way to the hospital after she was involved in a four-car accident last October, Regina Whitehead did what most people do: She called her insurance company.

Really? As a personal injury lawyer, The Juice can assure you that this is not something most crash victims do in an ambulance, on their way to the hospital. Anyway ...

Only she didn’t call to report the accident, but to add comprehensive, collision and rental coverage, according to the Pennsylvania Attorney General’s Office.

On Friday, Whitehead was charged with insurance fraud and criminal attempt/theft by deception. The 22-year-old Ambler woman was arraigned before Bensalem District Judge Joseph Falcone, who set her free on $25,000 unsecured bail.

Both charges are third-degree felonies punishable by up to seven years in prison.

According to the AG’s office, Whitehead’s 1998 Ford Taurus was involved in the accident Oct. 6, 2011, shortly before 4 p.m. on West Chester Pike in Chester County. At the time, Whitehead was insured through Infinity Insurance, which has an office in Bensalem, according to a probable cause affidavit.

About an hour after the accident — during an ambulance ride to Chester County Hospital for treatment — Whitehead allegedly called the insurance company to add extra coverage to her car, according to court documents.

Better late than never? Not exactly.

A few hours later on the night of the accident, she called Infinity to report she was involved in an accident and to verify that she had comprehensive collision coverage. She was told during the phone call that if she didn’t have the coverage in place at the time of the accident, the insurer wouldn’t cover the damage, according to the attorney general.

The next day, Whitehead spoke with an Infinity representative in Bensalem and specifically affirmed that her collision coverage was added “before the accident,” according to the affidavit. Later that same day, though, she withdrew her insurance claim.

The attorney general said Whitehead admitted last month that she added the coverage after being injured in the accident and while in the ambulance and then lied about it. “Whitehead said she did this at the advice of a friend so she would be covered by the insurance company,” according to the attorney general.

Time for a new "go to" fiend. Here's the source.

Criminals don't always make the best decisions. Here's an excellent example, as reported by the South Asian Post:

Angry villagers in eastern India [Jharkhand] burned eight robbers and beat four others to death, police said. About 20 robbers raided a remote village in Jharkhand state, but were surrounded by hundreds of villagers, who began chasing them, the police said. “Four were beaten to death, while eight took shelter in a house, which was set on fire by the villagers,” Mohamed Nehal, a senior police officer, said. Armed villagers stood guard to ensure none of the robbers escaped.

Yikes. Think that village will be safe for a while?

Some people just seem intent on sucking all of the joy out of life. Here's a case in point, as reported by The Seattle Times:

The staff at Lafayette Elementary School in West Seattle has decided to uphold its decision not to allow students to dress up for Halloween this year, according to a Seattle Public Schools spokeswoman.

The decision, however, was centered around the costumes being a distraction during an abbreviated day of school, not around the possibility of offending students from other cultures, or offending some students’ religious beliefs, district spokeswoman Teresa Wippel said in an email sent out this morning.

So you made a bad decision, reviewed it, and decided to stick with it. Brilliant!

“Staff suggested that since Halloween falls this year on a half day of school, the school not allow costumes. It takes students a while to change into their costumes, and students are distracted, taking away from the already limited instructional time,” Wippel wrote.

“The principal said that staff also had a conversation about cultural issues that will also be discussed further, but the reason for the final decision about costumes this year was due to instructional time.”

As Colonel Sherman Potter of M.A.S.H. was fond of saying, "horse hockey!" In keeping with the teachings of Otter in Animal House ("We're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!"), one parent is somewhat defiant.

Although Halloween has its roots as a religious observance, parent Ken Allen said it’s pretty clearly a secular holiday now, and that’s what he’s hearing from other parents.

Allen’s daughter plans to dress up as Hunger Games protagonist Katniss Everdeen, and will get in costume after school if the costume ban holds.

Wippel said there is no district-wide policy on costumes. The decision to allow costumes is up to individual schools.

At least he's a straightforward joysucker. Here's the source.

Running from the authorities? Not a good idea. Running from the authorities in the courthouse? Doh! Per wane.com:

It happened Tuesday in Tampa. A 25-year-old man in a purple shirt refused to sign his paperwork in a court case. Surveillance video shows the man took off running through the courthouse.

Bailiffs and two Tampa police officers gave chase and he was eventually tackled. The man was arrested and jailed without bond.

He was in the courthouse to be sentenced for giving false information to a police officer. Now, he faces battery on a police officer and resisting arrest charges.

You can see the video here.

It's nice to see a couple in love, right? Yes, and no. In this case, definitely "no." As reported by wkmg (clickorlando.com):

Orlando police said Jeremie Calo, 32, and his date were "having sex on a table in view of minor children" on the patio of Paddy Murphy's restaurant.

Yikes!

"That's ridiculous that they would do that out in public and also in front of kids," said Ashley Webster. Several witnesses told Local 6 that parents with children were eating on the patio as the couple started making out, then things went further.

The kids!

"That's totally unacceptable and insane. I'm shocked. I can't believe that," said Jackie Kelvington as she watched her daughter at gymnastics across the street. "I would absolutely yank my kids, get them away from that situation and hope that they didn't see too much."

Run!

The manager at Paddy Murphy's, Tom Murphy, said as soon as he realized what was going on he put a stop to it. He told the couple, "Compose yourself, pay your tab or I'll call the police," according to the report.

Said Mr. Calo:

"She can't get up at this time" because his date was still on top of him.

Funny. Not smart or cool. But pretty funny.

Murphy called police, and the couple then stopped what they were doing.

When police arrived, they arrested Calo for fighting with the manager and refusing to pay the $101 bill.

Wait, not fornicating in public, or some such charge?

Neither Calo nor his date were arrested for any of the sex allegations because none of the parents who saw the sex acts wanted to write statements for police.

Here's the source.

You will not believe what this bus driver did to this passenger. You can see it at the 3:05 mark in the video.

To read an article about the incident on cleveland.com, click here.

Hey, what's the big deal? Clearly their yard wasn't big enough for the bash, so these Texas twin brothers decided to "borrow" someone else's property. Can you believe the property owners were not okay with this? As reported by khou.com:

[19-year-old twin brothers] Shawn and DaShawn Butler reportedly promoted the party online and invited people to an open field in Huffman on Saturday.

Deputies said they found the twins and a juvenile there on Friday. They also discovered the lock on the private property's gate had been cut.

The land owners said they never gave anyone permission to use their land for a party and they agreed to pursue criminal trespassing charges.

So, how many people were expected to post?

Four thousand people were expected to converge on the property until deputies had one of the twins post a message saying the party has been cancelled.

Shazam! Here's the source, including mugshots of the brothers.

Do you think these provisions of the Tennessee Constitution might be unconstitutional?

ARTICLE IX
Disqualifications.

Section 1. Whereas ministers of the Gospel are by their profession, dedicated to God and the care of souls, and ought not to be diverted from the great duties of their functions; therefore, no minister of the Gospel, or priest of any denomination whatever, shall be eligible to a seat in either House of the Legislature.

Section 2. No person who denies the being of God, or a future state of rewards and punishments, shall hold any office in the civil department of this state.

Yikes. Here's the text. (Scroll down to page 553.)

It's undisputed that, if you postpone dealing with a problem it goes away. Wait, you mean that's not true? Then why does everyone act as if it were? Anyway, per The Orlando Sentinel:

According to an arrest report, the incident began in a shopping plaza at Pine Hills Road and State Road 50, where 31-year-old Schyvonne Whitaker saw her boyfriend talking to another woman.

The woman, Tina Reese, said that Whitaker approached the pair in a red sport utility vehicle. The boyfriend's response, Reese said, was to tell Whitaker to "drive off."

Oh, it's on now.

Reese left the shopping plaza at the intersection, heading north on Pine Hills in a Pontiac G6, when suddenly she saw Whitaker's Suzuki XL7 approach at a high speed.

Whitaker began ramming the rear bumper of the sedan, witnesses said, and both drivers lost control. They crashed into a house at the intersection of Deauville Drive.

Before the crash, it seems that Ms. Whitaker was a bit overconfident.

Whitaker was taken into custody shortly after the incident. A passenger in her SUV told deputies that Whitaker said "I got you now" as she rammed Reese's bumper.

And the fallout?

Reese, Whitaker and the other occupants in both vehicles survived mostly unscathed. The front walls of the small, one-story structure, however, suffered heavy damage in the crash.

Deputies arrested Whitaker in the suspected attack, charging her with aggravated battery with a motor vehicle, aggravated assault with a motor vehicle and criminal mischief.

An arresting deputy added a charges of providing a false identification and driving with a suspended license after he said Whitaker purposely misspelled her name while in custody.

And here's another reason why maybe Ms. Whitaker should have dealt with her problems off the road.

The deputy wrote in his report that he later discovered Whitaker's license has 24 active suspensions dating back to 2008, and is also currently expired.

Records show Whitaker has several previous arrests in Orange County, and served more than three years in prison after a 1995 conviction on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

She remained in the Orange County Jail on Saturday afternoon. Her bail was set at $5,650.

What? With that history, and trying to run someone off the road, bail is $5,650? How do you even come up with a number like that?

You just can't go around arresting people for cussing, or you may be ponying up, as this Georgia city discovered. As reported by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Community activist Mary Kirkendoll grew so frustrated with Smyrna’s town hall question-and-answer session, she stood up and began to leave. Before she got to the door, she turned toward the audience and uttered a profanity. “This is [expletive],” she said during the April 21, 2009, meeting. “They are never going to tell the truth.”

Really, AJC? You can't say "bullshit" when it's a direct quote that's at the heart of the story? Anyway ...

Kirkendoll was immediately put under arrest and then jailed for more than two hours. Later, she filed a federal lawsuit, alleging her free speech rights had been violated and that she had been falsely arrested and imprisoned.

What did this lulu cost the city? (Fine. What did it cost the city's insurance carrier...)

This week, the city’s insurance carrier agreed to pay $85,000 to Kirkendoll to settle the litigation, city spokeswoman Jennifer Bennett said. The city was not involved in the carrier’s decision to settle, she said.

“I hope that the city and mayor got the message and that no one else will ever be arrested for simply speaking out during a public meeting,” Kirkendoll said Thursday. “I am certainly thankful the lawsuit is over and that I have finally been vindicated.”

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Surely at one point this law served some purpose - maybe back when people knew what roentgen rays were. But now? It seems unlikely, though RCW 70.98.170 (Prohibition — fluoroscopic x-ray shoefitting devices) is still on the books in Washington. It reads as follows:

The operation or maintenance of any X-ray, fluoroscopic, or other equipment or apparatus employing roentgen rays, in the fitting of shoes or other footwear or in the viewing of bones in the feet is prohibited. This prohibition does not apply to any licensed physician, surgeon, *podiatrist, or any person practicing a licensed healing art, or any technician working under the direct and immediate supervision of such persons.

You'll find the law here.

He crashed his Hummer into their - um, his - house! At about 2:30 a.m.! As reported by delawareonline:

According to New Castle County police, the tenants, a 50-year-old man and his 53-year-old wife, awoke around 2:30 a.m. to a loud crash at their home on Lute Court in the Harmony Woods development in Ogletown.

They looked outside to see "headlights shining into the bedroom" and quickly went to check on their 6-year-old son sleeping in a separate bedroom. They then heard what sounded like a person attempting to kick in the front door.

As the woman was on the phone, calling 911, Ott allegedly shouted, "Tell the police it's the landlord that tore up the building."

He then fled the scene, according to police, leaving a footprint on the front door.

Officers investigating the incident later went to Ott's home on Old Baltimore Pike and found his Hummer, damaged, with a pine branch lodged in the bumper.

Doh! What is the landlord, Mr. Ott looking at?

...charges of attempted burglary, harassment, leaving the scene of an accident, reckless driving, failure to report an accident and endangering the welfare of the three occupants of the home.

Whew. The Juice is out of breath.

At a boot sale, which is roughly the equivalent of a swap meet, an elderly couple must have been delighted with the lovely plant they purchased. Certainly it was treated quite well, as evidenced by its incredible growth. So why is this Juiceworthy? As reported by the BBC:

An elderly couple have unwittingly grown the "biggest cannabis plant" police officers had seen after buying what they thought was an innocuous shrub from a car boot sale.

Oops.

The couple, who live in Bedford, had planted the drug in their garden.

Police officers were astounded when they spotted the plant. They have collected it and a spokesperson said it would be disposed of.

The couple will face no action from the police.

Whew.

The officers took to their @bedfordlpt Twitter account to express their surprise at the find, saying: "Seized today. Elderly couple bought shrub at car boot sale, tended carefully - biggest cannabis plant we had seen!!"

Here's the source. (See the tweeted photo above.)

Of course you can, especially under circumstances like these, as reported by The Hamilton Spectator (Hamilton, Ontario):

Hamilton police responded to reports of an abandoned vehicle at 4:45 a.m. in the middle of the roadway at Ridge Road near 5th Road.

Abandoned? Not exactly.

They found the car with the headlights on, the vehicle in gear and keys in the ignition.

The driver was passed out in the front seat. She was arrested and refused a breathalyzer test.

The 24-year-old was charged with impaired and refusing to take a breathalyzer test. She was released on a promise to appear.

No bail? The Juice would not have been so trusting. Here's the source.

Please, save your apologies, especially the ones that were part of the judge's sentence! As reported by The Sun Chronicle (Attleboro & North Attleboro, Massachusetts):

A Plainville resident, a former municipal water superintendent, must write an apology to the town where he was once employed and pay to have apologies printed in a major regional newspaper and a trade magazine as part of the sentence for falsifying municipal water safety records.

John Tetreault, a Plainville resident and the former water superintendent for the town of Avon was sentenced by a federal judge Thursday to apologize to the town's residents by having to write an apology for falsifying water safety records, and placing that apology in the Boston Globe and in a local and regional trade publications, the Boston Globe reported Saturday.

Is this a joke? The Juice is all for creative sentencing, but how does this help anyone? What a total waste of money. Well, at least he'll be doing some jail time. Wait, no jail time?

He must also pay a $15,000 fine and was placed on probation for a year.

No, not probation! Oh the humanity! As for what specifically Mr. Tetreault did:

According to the published report, Tetreault, 55, pleaded guilty to two counts of knowingly submitting federally required reports with false information about disinfectant levels at the town's two water treatment facilities, saying they met safety standards when they didn't.

Hmm. Sounds like a pretty serious infraction. In fairness to the judge, perhaps it was a factor that ...

Officials said public health was not threatened because Avon's water was clean and safe without the disinfectant. It was reported that the records were tampered with on four occasions in 2010, according to investigators who worked on the case.

Why cut the guy a break because he apparently lucked out on the water not being dangerous in spite of his fraud. Surely the disinfectants serve some purpose? Not cool judge. Not cool at all. Dude should have seen the inside of a cell, at least for a few months. Here's the source.

If you've never played doorbell ditch (a/k/a ding dong ditch), well, you're from Mars. Still, as common as it is, kids who hear this story may think twice about it. And perhaps the "victims" of this harmless prank will think twice about how they react. From an article in the Albany Times-Union:

A lawyer retained by the parents of a 14-year-old prankster tackled by a Delmar homeowner characterized the man as an over-aggressive vigilante.

The attorney's account of the incident challenged the folk hero status a deluge of online commentators have granted 37-year-old homeowner Daniel P. Van Plew since the incident Saturday night when the boy rang his doorbell and tried to run away with three friends.

What do you think?

"He (Van Plew) crossed the line. He never should have used that kind of force when he realized it was a 14-year-old who's a small kid," said attorney Kristie Hanson, who represents the teen's parents, Rob and Ann Madeo of Glenmont.

The boy, whose name is being withheld because of his age, is 5-foot-7 and 120 pounds. Van Plew is 5-foot-11, 170 pounds and plays hockey.

Speaking on behalf of the Madeos at her Rotterdam law office on Thursday, Hanson alleged that Van Plew tackled the teen on the asphalt roadway of Egmont Court more than 100 feet beyond his property line, roughly dragged the boy back inside his house with his arms pinioned behind his back, forced him to sit on the floor and said he was going to kill the boy if he tried to leave.

Both Van Plew and the police report stated that the Madeo boy was brought down in the homeowner's yard, an important legal distinction because a homeowner is afforded more protection in a case of self-defense that occurs on one's property compared to off the property.

Hanson said the three other teens engaged with the Madeo boy in "ding-dong ditch" concur that Van Plew tackled the teen off the homeowner's property. "People have a right to defend their homes and property, but when they leave their property to effect a citizen's arrest, the use of force has to be reasonable based on the crime committed," said Lt. Robert Berben.

Interesting, right? You can read more - a fair amount - by clicking here.

Update: Mr. Van Plew was charged and ... the charges were dropped. Read about it here.

What do you think? Is a diplomat entitled to immunity from prosecution for a DUI? As reported by NaplesNews.com (Florida):

Collier County sheriff's deputies found an uninjured Louis Vlasho outside his Mercedes sport utility vehicle at the intersection of U.S. 41 North and Pelican Bay Boulevard around 8:40 p.m. The 75-year-old told deputies he lost control of the SUV while turning into Pelican Bay.

Vlasho at one point handed a deputy a Department of State identification card and said he knew the sheriff, according to an arrest report. He later said he was on his way home from a political fundraiser.

So he played the diplomat card and the "sheriff" card? How'd that go?

Following his arrest, Vlasho told deputies at the Naples Jail Center he had diplomatic immunity because of his position, a report stated. The Department of State said Vlasho was not exempt because he was not on official business and because "driving his vehicle intoxicated would never fall within his official duties."

Fuhgeddaboutit!

Vlasho, of the 6500 block of Crown Colony Place, faces charges of DUI and DUI property damage.

Here's the source, including a mug shot.

You're the new boss. You want to let your employees know that you're in charge. If you're in Saudi Arabia, this is NOT the way to do it. As reported by Emirates 24/7:

The new manager at the mall in the western Red Sea port of Jeddah met the workers at his section and gave them job instructions.

“He then told them they must obey and implement his orders to the letter, saying that he is their god,” Kabar newspaper said.

Uh oh.

It said eight workers reported the new manager to the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.

“Commission members went to the mall and arrested the man, who will be referred to court for claiming he is a god…the eight workers will testify in court.”

So long, "boss." Here's the source.

Just the other day, The Juice blogged about a cancer faker. That lady had nothing on Ms. Lori E. Stilley. As reported by The Gloucester County Times (New Jersey) at nj.com:

Making more than $3,000 from sales of an e-book was far from the only thing a township woman did to rake in tens of thousands of dollars from lying about having cancer, authorities allege.

According to a statement released from the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office, the scheme began and ended in 2011.

Lori E. Stilley, 40, told family and friends in February that she had been diagnosed with Stage III bladder cancer, authorities said.

She told them she’d undergone radiation and chemotherapy treatment, prosecutors said, posting the same on Facebook and her personal website.

In April, Stilley allegedly said the cancer had progressed to Stage IV. She told her loved ones she didn’t have health insurance, although authorities said investigation would show she’d never been diagnosed with cancer.

Surely if you're telling folks your cancer is Stage IV, you have an end game, right? Well ... Anyway, in the interim ...

The friends and relatives organized several efforts to raise money for Stilley, including a T-shirt sale. A fundraising banquet in July 2011 raised $8,400. Another fundraiser and cash raffle that summer brought in another $1,000.

Stilley sold her e-book about struggling daily with cancer - posted for sale in October - for $14.99. She reportedly told people she wanted to marry her boyfriend before she died.

So again, loved ones came through for her. They planned the wedding that took place within a week and a half. The organizers haggled the wedding hall price down to $500 and covered the cost on their own.

Then there were the donations of gift cards totaling more than $1,600.

One friend even created a meal calendar - posted on Stilley’s website - by which kind souls prepared and delivered meals to her. They scheduled dates for deliveries months ahead of time.

That's one helluva support group this lady had.

But the alleged scheme wouldn’t include a faked death. In November, when she was supposedly due soon for hospice care, Stilley posted on her Facebook page a message saying she was feeling better and believed a miracle was coming.

A miracle? That's the exit plan for your despicable scheme? And you thought people would buy it? A miracle?

When she postponed hospice, her long-loyal friends became suspicious.

Following investigation, Stilley surrendered Wednesday morning, authorities said, at the Delran Township Police Department.

She was charged theft by deception and was released after posting $25,000 bail.

Here's the source, including a photo of Ms. Stilley.

Or else what? If you don't follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), Kenny gets it.

And don't forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

It was good of this niece to look after her sickly aunt. Or was it? Her motives are certainly in question now, since her aunt died over 2 years ago and, as reported by TheSpec.com (Hamilton, Ontario) ...

Police are searching for the body of a Hamilton woman they allege was illegally disposed of by her niece more than two years ago in order to keep cashing disability cheques.

A police media release initially stated the 62-year-old woman died of natural causes in 2009, but case manager Detective Sergeant Matt Kavanagh clarified Friday afternoon that her remains have yet to be recovered.

He said medical records indicated the woman was in “very, very poor health,” but without a body, the coroner cannot confirm a cause of death.

Yeah, it's generally a good idea to examine the body before determining the cause of death.

“We have an idea where the body is, and we’re still trying to locate it,” Kavanagh said, declining to offer any other details because the investigation is ongoing.

In the mean time ...

The woman’s 45-year-old niece was arrested Thursday morning and was released on a promise to appear. She had been living with her sickly aunt, acting as her caregiver in their Stoney Creek home.

She is co-operating with police in the retrieval of the body, Kavanagh said.

So what was the take?

According to the Ministry of Community and Social Services, the maximum amount a single person on Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP) could receive for basic needs and shelter is $1,064 per month — $31,920 over two-and-a-half years.

How was she caught?

Police began their investigation — led by the homicide unit — in July after a concerned family member contacted them, worried the woman had died without the proper authorities being contacted.

The charges?

... the niece was charged with offering an indignity to a dead person, two counts of forgery, fraud over $5,000, impersonation with intent to gain advantage and uttering a forged document.

Here's the source.

As The Juice always says, if you don't like what you're looking at, look away! Per The Dutch Harbor Telegraph (Dutch Harbor, Alaska):

1312 - Assistance Rendered – Previously convicted assailant reported that since he returned to town, his victim has been giving him the stink-eye. An officer advised the assailant to simply avoid looking at the victim.

No, not the stink-eye! Run!

Surely you will agree with The Juice that this food company has crossed the line. Fortunately, there's a watchdog group who is on it. As reported by redhotrussia.com:

The Prosecutor General’s Office received an official complaint from the public organization – “Russian People’s Council“. Its activists accused Wimm Bill Dann (food company specializing in dairy products) in promotion of homosexuality.

Reason: packages of milk and yogurt contain the image of rainbow, which according to the head of People’s Council is “the universal symbol of LGBT movement and therefore is the open propaganda of vice“.

No! Not ... a ... rainbow!

Complaint was filed by the Saint-Petersburg section of the organization. It should be noted that in the beginning of this year Saint Petersburg passed the law banning propaganda of “sodomy, lesbianism, bisexuality or transgenderism among minors”. In its current draft the violation of this ban is punishable by fine.

Word is the group is working on a super-secret device that will zap rainbows whenever they appear in nature ... Here's the source.