Legal Juice

Family law cases often involve a lot of emotional behavior. Typically, though, the Judge is not a participant. This is clearly not a typical case. Of particular interest are the portions beginning at about 35 seconds, and at the 6:55 mark. You can read a lot more about this case here.

Nobody likes waiting in the ER. But few people, if any, have reacted as this woman did. And it didn't stop there. As reported by The Cleveland Plain Dealer at cleveland.com

Prosecutors said in April that [37-year-old Teri] Garko sought emergency medical treatment at the hospital and became angry at being kept waiting. She attacked the technician who was assigned to check her vital signs.

That will certainly get you attention. Not help, but attention.

"Garko punched and kneed the female victim numerous times in the face, chest and spine," the news release said. "She also slammed the woman's head into the floor and ripped a patch of hair and scalp from the woman."

Note: "news release" - so The Juice did not make that up. But that wasn't the end of it.

While out on bond for the hospital attack, Garko broke into the home of her ex-boyfriend and stabbed him and the woman he was sleeping with. Prosecutors said she stabbed the woman in the chest, which led to the attempted murder charge.

Okay, now it's over. So what happened to Ms. Garko?

Summit County Prosecutor Sherri Bevan Walsh said Teri Garko pleaded guilty to attempted murder, felonious assault and assault of an emergency medical worker.

The time?

[She] was sentenced Tuesday to 11 years in prison ...

Here's the source, with a mug shot of Ms. Garko.

Actually, madam, your money isn't good anywhere in the United Kingdom. As a personal injury lawyer, but for his alter ego, this is not something The Juice would normally come across. No doubt Ms. Louise Munro would not have come across a law like the Coinage Act of 1971 either, had she not tried to pay for her gas with, well, coins! As reported by The Liverpool Echo:

Staff at the BP garage in Queens Drive, West Derby, told 24-year-old Louise Munro that they could not accept the 1p and 2p pieces she offered after her bank card failed because of a system failure.

Say what?

Ms Munro, from Roby, who went home to raid her piggy bank for the loose change to settle her debt, was even told by police over the phone that the garage was correct in refusing the payment after a row broke out.

According to the Royal Mint, 1p and 2p coins are legal only if something is bought for just 20p or less.

Under the little-known Coinage Act 1971 it is illegal to use 21 or more 1p pieces in a single transaction.

A truly brilliant customer relations move by the gas station...

Ms Munro, who denied she was being vindictive by handing over coppers, said: “I admit it’s annoying to have to count pennies but that’s all I had and I’m not the kind of person to leave a debt hanging. I wanted to settle it as soon as I could.

“As far as I was concerned it is legal tender – it has the Queen’s head on it and why would they produce them unless they could be used?”

Seems reasonable. After all, it's only £30, and it's not like it's a daily occurrence.

The dispute happened on Sunday afternoon after Ms Munro’s RBS debit card was rejected because of the bank’s system troubles.

And it was brought about through no fault of Ms. Munro!

... she returned three hours later with two money bags filled with carefully counted-out coppers.

But after the garage searched the internet to see if they could accept the change they stumbled across a newspaper article from earlier this year telling of an accountant who was sued for trying to pay an £800 bill in coppers. There they learned of the Coinage Act 1971.

A phone call to the police also confirmed that Ms Munro’s payment contravened the Coinage Act.

[Garage worker Mugeen] Mohammed said the petrol station has not cashed the loose change and wants Ms Munro to return with an alternative form of payment.

Really? People are probably just lining up to buy gas at such a customer-friendly station.

Merseyside Police confirmed they were contacted over the dispute but said it was a “civil matter”.

Whew. No jail time. You'll find the source here.

Sure, neighbors have their disagreements. But check this out, as reported by nj.com:

An elderly man was arrested Monday night after a neighbor's fart allegedly drove him to threaten him with a gun, police said.

Daniel Collins, 72, had been involved in an ongoing dispute with the unidentified neighbor for some time, Det. Lt. Andrew McGurr told NJ.com.

The neighbor told officers that Collins pointed a revolver at him in the vestibule of their apartment building at 694 Cedar Lane at around 9:25 p.m.

Collins said he confronted the man after hearing him pass gas in front of his apartment door, but denied threatening him with a gun. He consented to a search, and officers recovered a .32 caliber revolver from his vehicle.

Wait, you could hear it in your apartment? Yikes.

He was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats.

Here's the source, including a mug shot of Mr. Collins.

If you have glasses, chances are you've misplaced them at some point. Let's say you are a deputy, chances are, at some point ... No! Chances are, this virtually NEVER happens, although it did to a New Mexico deputy, as reported by krqe.com:

An off-duty Bernalillo County Sheriff's deputy left a gun behind at a local hospital ...

Um. Er. My bad.

While patients shuffled in and out of Presbyterian Hospital Saturday, the search for the missing gun had hospital security and Albuquerque Police on high alert. "Anytime a weapon is involved, we're very concerned, but we have highly trained security staff on site that make routine patrols," explained Paul Sandoval, Director of Security for Presbyterian.

The Sheriff's Department confirmed an off-duty deputy carrying his personal weapon left it in a restroom by accident. Worried who might find it and pick it up, APD sent officers to the security room of the hospital where detectives reviewed surveillance video.

Roughly 160 cameras are scanning the hospital everyday and one camera shows the hallway leading in and out of the bathroom where the gun was left. "It took a little while to determine who the person was and to make sure that we knew who exactly it was," Sandoval explained.

Drum roll please ...

Video showed just one person entering the restroom after the deputy from the time the gun was reported missing - Dr. Robert Gordon, a non-Presbyterian physician with privileges to practice there.

Gun? What gun?

Hours after the gun went missing, APD found and questioned Gordon. Sources said at first he hesitated to give the gun back but finally handed over the weapon.

Doh! Here's the source.

True. As reported in The Knox County Times, Camden-Rockport Middle School in New Jersey has banned farting, apparently due to a bunch of superfarting eighth-graders. This is from the Fire Cracker, the school's newsletter:

Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS. It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!

A few questions: (1) If the noise emanates from a group of kids, how will the [?] Fart Monitor know who uncorked it? (2) How will "intent" be determined? (3) Will the teacher supervising the detention get time-and-a-half? A clothes pin? Hey Principal Libby, lighten up. It's just a phase!

This is really gross and weird. Who likes sucking blood so much that he would do it for 2-3 minutes? Why would you let someone do that? As reported by The Arizona Republic:

A vampire-crazed man was sentenced Monday to three years probation for stabbing a friend who had refused to let him suck his blood.

Some "friend" he turned out to be ...

[Aaron] Homer [age 24] stabbed the arm of Robert Maley, 25, of Chandler on Oct. 4 after Maley refused to let him suck his blood a second time, the police report said.

Maley had let Homer suck his blood before, but only because Homer was threatening to cut his ex-girlfriend or her friend. Homer sucked his blood for two to three minutes that time.

Two to three minutes!

On Oct. 4, Homer was demanding to suck his blood a second time.

"I said no, and he flipped," Maley told police. "He said, 'I'm doing it,' and then boom . . . he stabbed me."

Maley fled from Homer's apartment on the 600 block of North Alma School Road, leaving a trail of blood in addition to fake blood that Homer or his girlfriend, Amanda Williamson, 21, had spread on the floor, according to the police report.

"They think they are vampires," said Maley of Homer and Williamson. The pair, he said, are also into paganism.

Homer later admitted to police he stabbed Maley because he was making fun of their "religion."

How do you get no jail time after admitting that you stabbed someone? Here's the source.

Either these gents did an amazing job with their make-up and clothes, or their pursuer was looking through some mega-thick beer goggles, or both. Regardless, he could've handled the discovery that the ladies were gents a little better. As reported by The Marco Eagle:

Josue A. Hernandez, 27, of an unknown Immokalee address, according to reports, was at a bar on Boston Avenue in Immokalee when he learned the people he was socializing with and purchased drinks for, which he believed to be female, “were in fact men dressed in women’s clothing,” according to deputies. He then became irate, breaking bottles, starting fights with other customers and causing a disturbance, deputies said.

A large, fixed-blade, hunting-type knife was discovered in Hernandez’s waistband. The knife, which had a wooden handle and a 6-inch blade, was hidden under his shirt, according to reports. The knife is the kind “normally used for the skinning and gutting of deer and other large animals and was in no way a common pocket knife based on its blade length and design,” deputies said.

Fortunately, it appears he kept the knife sheathed. The charges?

Hernandez was arrested shortly before 1 a.m. Saturday and charged with disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon.

With all that bottle-breaking and fighting, he probably blew his shot at just plain "orderly intoxication." Here's the source, including a photo of the accused.

There are folks who garden in more traditional garb (clothes), and then there are the Pierces of Boulder, Colorado. They were spotted gardening in front of their rental unit with very little on - Ms. Pierce was sporting pasties and a thong; Mr. Pierce was was just wearing a thong. Some uptight neighbors called the cops. As reported by the Daily Camera:

... the officers who responded confirmed what the Pierces already believed to be true: Their dress, though scanty, was legal.

As long as a person's genitalia are covered, no law has been broken, Boulder police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley said.

Yeah! Take that, you uptight, puritanical ... What's that? You say there's a nuisance clause in my lease? And I'm going to get kick out anyway?

... the Pierces received a letter form Annie Mount at Boulder Housing Partners, their landlord, warning that the behavior was a "nuisance" to the community and needed to be changed. A clause in the Pierces' lease prohibits "nuisance" behavior, and violating the lease agreement can be grounds for eviction.

Kind of a vague term, no? Yes.

Betsy Martens, executive director of the Boulder Housing Partners, which administers Boulder's affordable housing program, acknowledged that defining the word nuisance is one of the "most difficult concepts in the law."

If Boulder tries the nuclear option, the Pierce's won't go down without a fight.

"We want our freedom," Robert Pierce said. "We want exactly what the law gives you, and we don't want to be harassed about it."

No doubt there are many ways to smuggle things into a country. But check out this lizard-smuggling story from KTLA-TV:

A man was arrested at LAX for trying to smuggle 15 live lizards into the United States by strapping them to his chest.

Special agents with the U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife arrested Michael Plank, 40, of Lomita, as he tried to clear U.S. customs at the airport on a flight from Australia last week.

Agents say the lizards were concealed in a money belt that was strapped to Plank's torso. Inspectors seized two geckos, eleven skinks, and two monitor lizards. Monitor lizards are a protected species under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. The lizards are valued at $8,500 according to U.S. Fish and Wildlife Special Agent Mona Ianelli.

The crime and the time?

Federal law required that travelers declare items brought to the United States from abroad, including wildlife. Concealing the illegal import of wildlife into the United States is a felony. The maximum penalty is 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Zoinks!

At any given time, most students dislike at least one of their teachers. That said, you can't just go around putting STAPLES in a disfavored teacher's coffee! As reported by WHSV (Virginia):

As of Tuesday, charges have been filed against a 15-year-old William Monroe High School student for allegedly putting staples in his teacher's ice coffee.

In case you might be thinking the charge is a misdemeanor ...

At a court hearing Monday, the teen was charged with felony adulteration of food, drink, drugs, cosmetics, etc. with the intent to kill or injure any individual who ingests, inhales or uses such substance.

And if you're wondering how the staples went down, surprisingly, the answer is: unnoticed.

The victim of the assault, a ninth grade English teacher, unknowingly drank the staple-spiked coffee May 10 but was not seriously injured.

But that may not be the end of it for the teacher.

Maj. Randall Snead, with the Greene County Sheriff's Office, reports authorities are monitoring the teacher's condition since the damage caused by the staples may not be readily apparent.

Here's the source.

So this woman, Briana "don't make me pounce on you" Pouncy, told her live-in boyfriend Joseph Boykins to do the dishes. He didn't. When she came home to a sink full of dirty dishes, it was on. They argued, and she told Mr. Boykins to leave. When he refused, it got ugly. Per the Fort Worth Star-Telegram:

... police say she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face [causing visible cuts] and swung at him with a sword ...

Yikes.

A 26-year-old man in Northern Ireland has 104 convictions. His crimes include, per The Belfast Telegraph,

... a string of offences including burglary, theft, assault and other dishonesty type offences.

And, per the police, “every single time he was granted bail he broke the conditions.” After a recent arrest, he asked to be let out on bail, and ... got it! He was released ...

... on the condition that he resides at an agreed address, adheres to a strict curfew, does not enter Belfast in the evening, does not drink any alcohol and takes a breathalyser test any time police request it.

Of course, this time was different, right? Surely he learned his lesson.

When the Telegraph called at his address in Co Down on two occasions this week we were told he was not there — during the hours of a strict curfew.

An occupant at the house said she had not seen him and was unsure of his whereabouts.

Doh! You can read more (a lot) here.

Things must not be going well if you get to a place where you need to return a box of condoms for a refund. And, when the clerk won't give you a refund, you call 911, claiming that you were robbed. As reported in the North Jersey Record,

Kadien Jackson, 21, of Blauvelt, N.Y., told police he made the bogus report to help him get his money back. Instead, he was charged with making a false report -- a crime that carries prison time upon conviction.

"So, what are you in for?"

One can imagine the would-be abductors talking beforehand: "Hey, how about that kid?" "Sure, why not?" Here's why not: Not only was he on his way home boxing training, but the kid is "the two-time Australian junior champion and two-time Queensland champion." As reported in The Cairns Post:

It seemed innocent enough - three people in a mini-van asking for directions at a well-lit intersection at 8pm on Wednesday in the quiet rural community of Yungaburra.

"It seems so innocent," 15-year-old Jackson said yesterday. "They stopped and asked for directions and I walked up to the campervan to help. The sliding door opened fast and I spun around to see what was happening.

Here it comes ...

"Then this bloke grabbed me by the collar and tried to drag me into the van. He was really trying to drag me in but I pulled back with all my weight and then I hit him in the left ear."

Bam!

It only took one punch from the two-time Australian junior champion and two-time Queensland champion to send the alleged abductors fleeing up Maple St from the scene.

Nice. Here's the source, including a photo of the pugilist.

There are many ways to steal. But have you ever heard of a thief whose tool of the trade is a vacuum? Well, you're about to. As reported by The Lincoln Journal Star:

The vacuum remains at large, but Lincoln police ticketed a man who they believe used one to suck a bunch of quarters out of several apartment house laundry machines.

After surveillance photos from the March 4 laundry room theft were released Friday, police received three tips via Crimestoppers that identified the suspect as William Logan Jr., 40, 5709 Hartley St.

There is a mitigating factor.

He had a mountain bike in tow ...

The Juice has a soft spot for cyclists ... Here's the source.

The term "road rage" is used a lot, probably too much. But this case right here, this is definitely road rage. As reported by The Tampa Bay Times:

The onslaught began when Bonnie N. Coleman, 31, was driving west on Tampa Road in Oldsmar and Therese O'Neill, 29, cut in front of her 2012 Saturn station wagon.

Oh no you didn't just cut in front of her.

Coleman didn't like that, deputies said, so she ran into the rear bumper of O'Neill's 1992 Dodge station wagon. "They didn't know each other," said Pinellas County sheriff's spokeswoman Cecilia Barreda. "It just appears the victim had switched lanes and the suspect became very angry."

So she bumped her. Not cool, but ... oh wait, there's more.

Coleman trailed O'Neill and bumped her car several times, officials said, before they reached East Lake Road and were stopped by a red light.

Coleman then tried to push O'Neill's station wagon into the intersection, deputies said.

Holy crap! Sure seems like she trying to get Ms. O'Neill either killed or seriously injured.

That's when O'Neill retaliated. She backed up into Coleman's car, then ran the light to try to escape the enraged driver, according to the Sheriff's Office.

"I think she was trying her best to do what she could to get away from this woman," Barreda said. "But (Coleman) continued and continued and was so persistent. It didn't end.

Deputies said Coleman followed O'Neill from Tampa Road onto Mayfair Place in Palm Harbor, where the two women got out of their cars and began to fight. Coleman pulled O'Neill's hair, kicked and punched her, officials said.

A 45-year-old witness to the road rage incident, Jill Ann Atwood, stopped nearby, called 911, then got out of her car, ran up to the brawling women and attempted to help O'Neill.

That's got to be it. No?

Coleman struck Atwood in the eye with her fist, deputies said.

That, actually was the end of it, pretty much.

Coleman was charged with aggravated battery, aggravated assault with a motor vehicle and simple battery. Deputies said she was uncooperative to the last and acted "agitated" as she was taken into custody.

As for the victims ...

Both O'Neill and Atwood were taken to Mease Countryside Hospital in Safety Harbor with non-life-threatening injuries following the attack.

Whew! The Juice is exhausted. Here's the source.

If this were to become a trend, perhaps golf would become a lot more popular? As reported by kmov.com (St. Louis):

On Monday afternoon, police arrested two women after they allegedly exposed themselves while on an Alton, Illinois golf course.

And people say golf is boring ...

Officers with the Madison County Sheriff’s Office responded to Woodlands Golf Course at 2839 Harris Lane around 2 p.m. in reference to a citizen complaint. The caller stated that two women were exposing their “sexual organs” while on the course.

When officers arrived, they saw Alicia Binford, 43, and Shelly Lewis, 45, lewdly exposing their breasts.

Binford and Lewis, both from O'Fallon, Missouri, were arrested and charged with public indecency. They were taken to the Madison County Jail and held on $100 bond.

Here's the source, including mug shots of the ladies.

When he was a kid, in addition to being a tool, this California elected official must have really sucked at baseball. Sadly, below you can see him taking it out on his stepson.

You can read more about it here.

Shouldn't a grandfather know that his love for his grandchild is unconditional? You won't believe why this grandpappy was displeased with his granddaughter. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

The Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office was contacted May 31 by the victim's adoptive mother, who said her daughter had been threatened by the victim's biological grandfather.

The victim told deputies she'd been staying with her grandfather since May 26 and had asked him to drive her to a fast food restaurant so she could apply for a job. Her grandfather said he didn't want her working there because she'd be working with African Americans.

Right. Like he said "I don't want you working with African Americans."

That prompted an argument between the two, and the victim said her grandfather threatened to "crack her skull" and "slit her from ear to ear." The victim contacted her drill instructor and asked that he pick her up, as she feared for her safety.

The drill instructor said he picked her up but before leaving, the grandfather said in a serious tone he would kill her and "slit her ear to ear." The drill instructor then drove her to her adoptive mother's residence in Shalimar.

Not cool, pappy. Not cool. Older, but not wiser. We're all one people. The charges?

The grandfather was charged with misdemeanor assault. His court date is June 26.

You'll find the source here.

Sure, it's illegal. But can it possibly be that this is a judicious use of police manpower? Unlikely. As reported by The Morning Call (Lehigh Valley, PA):

A detective from the Monroe County district attorney's office made arrangements to meet Brian K. Ryder Friday after reading his ad on Craigslist from a male seeking a female to "smoke with." The ad read, "Any females into 420? It's nice out. Let's go smoke. Email if interested."

Investigators made arrangements to meet Ryder at the Stroud Mall on Route 611, but Detective Joseph Coddington pulled him over in his pickup truck prior to arriving at the mall. Ryder was charged with possession with intent to delivery marijuana, possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He also was cited for having an expired inspection on his truck.

Yes, that's him. [The photo is from the Monroe County District Attorney's office.] Dude looks like he's thinking "Really? You did all that for this?" Here's the source.

Be honest. You've smacked or kicked a machine - a parking meter, a vending machine, a copier ... But this guy took it to another level. Per The Salt Lake Tribune:

A Salt Lake City mortgage company employee allegedly got drunk, opened fired on his firm’s computer server with a .45-caliber automatic, and then told police someone had stolen his gun and caused the damage.

Maybe he didn't do it?

Salt Lake County prosecutors say Campbell called police late on Aug. 12, claiming a man had stolen his gun and fired into the $100,000 computer server owned by RANLife Home Loans, located at 268 W. 400 South.

A probable cause statement alleges that Campbell told police he had been “mugged, assaulted with his own firearm and drugged” by a mystery assailant.

So don't be so quick to judge. Wait, something is coming in over the wire ...

... acquaintances of Campbell reportedly told police he had earlier been drunk, was armed and had threatened to shoot the computer and maybe himself.

Doh! Of note: "acquaintances" not "friends." The charges?

... criminal mischief, a second-degree felony; carrying a dangerous weapon while under the influence and providing false information to police, both Class B misdemeanors; and public intoxication, a Class C misdemeanor.

No word on whether the server will make it ...

The cops have you red-handed, with the evidence right there in front of you. So what do you do?
Here's an option you might not have considered. As reported by the Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey):

On Thursday, June 1, at about 1:55 a.m., Patrolman Joseph SanGiovanni saw a 2012 Nissan Maxima driven by LaQuan Mayes, 38, of Newark, allegedly fail to stop at a red light on Route 22.

Upon stopping the car, Patrolman SanGiovanni smelled raw marijuana inside the vehicle and saw a dime bag of marijuana in plain view inside of the cup-holder in the center console, police said. When the patrolman requested that Mayes hand over the bag, Mayes picked it up and ate it.

Gulp. "Bag? What bag?"

A consensual search of Mayes’ car did not turn up any additional contraband.

Free to go? Not exactly.

Mayes was charged with possession of less than 50 grams of marijuana, obstruction of justice, failure to make lawful disposition of a controlled dangerous substance, driving while in possession of a CDS and failure to observe a traffic signal. He was released on his own recognizance.

What? You released him? And the evidence? Here's the source.

After reading this post, you will agree that no man will EVER mess with this woman. Hell, no man will even get within grabbing distance of her. Warning to male Juice readers: you may feel this man's pain. As reported by wbtv.com:

Police in Shelby [North Carolina] say they arrested a woman over the weekend after she squeezed a man's testicles out of his scrotum.

Joyce Maxine Gregory, 35, is charged with malicious castration and assault inflicting serious bodily injury, according to Shelby Police Chief Jeff Ledford.

YEOW! But why?

Police say Gregory got into an argument with an older man Saturday morning. When he went outside to call 911 she followed him and grabbed his scrotum.

The man ran to a nearby rescue squad building for help.

How could you possibly run after that? As for the perp ...

Police were sent to the residence on Bowman Street to arrest Gregory. When she was placed in the patrol car, she pulled down her pants and urinated in the backseat.

Nice touch, right? You'll find the source here, including a mug shot.

Sure, some people don't get along with their in-laws. And some parents don't get along with their kids' spouses. But this? A whole 'nother level, as reported in The Las Cruces Sun-News:

A 44-year-old woman who allegedly ripped her daughter-in-law's nipple off during a drunken argument could be facing criminal charges, the 3rd Judicial District Attorney's Office confirmed Wednesday.

Ouch, ouch, ouch!

It's believed to be the first time a local victim has suffered a body part being torn from them, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Amy Orlando.

Ya think?

The victim told officers she, her husband, his mother and one of her husband's friends had spent Saturday night drinking ...

Wait, alcohol was involved?

Sometime after 3 a.m., the victim's husband had started arguing with his mother, and because it was becoming "very intense," the victim went to stand in between the two to separate them.

Uh-oh.

When the victim began arguing with her 44-year-old mother-in-law, the older woman allegedly "grabbed (the victim's) right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple." The victim yelled to stop, but her mother-in-law allegedly continued to pull until the younger woman began punching her in the face, according to the police report.

The victim then told police she threw her mother-in-law into the yard, but the older woman allegedly kicked in the back door and had to be physically removed again. It was when the victim was putting her mother-in-law's belongings in the yard that she felt fluid on her breast and realized there was blood on her shirt.

When she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor, she told police.

YEOW! Can you fix that? ...

... doctors were already in the process of reattaching the nipple to the 30-year-old victim's breast [when Las Cruces police officers responded to Memorial Medical Center on Sunday morning].

Whew.

The love that siblings have for each other is special. Of course, that doesn't apply if they have no love for each other. In those cases, the feelings they have for each other can be "special" too. As reported by The Oregonian:

Don Fred Stoll [age 58] is accused of using a hatchet to attack and injure his 60-year-old brother, Russell Stoll, according to Milwaukie [Oregon] police.

Yes, that there's the hatchet above (from the Milwaukie Police Department). This next bit is truly going to shock you.

Investigators say alcohol was a factor in the fight.

No! Alcohol? Who would have even suspected that? Not to worry, though.

Russell Stoll had injuries that were not life-threatening, and he was treated at Providence Milwaukie Hospital.

As for his little brother ...

Don Fred Stoll was arrested and taken to the Clackamas County jail. He is charged with second degree assault and unlawful use of a weapon.

Not cool, Donny. Not cool. Here's the source.

Perhaps the thief was so excited about nearly completing his mission, that he forgot to steal the charger! As reported by The Daily Mail:

A gold-plated vibrator has been stolen from a luxury sex shop in Brazil after an armed raider stormed into the shop and demanded staff hand over the item.

Police say the man walked into the Brasilia store, tied up the sales assistant and then took the 18-carat gold sex toy from the display case. He left without taking anything else. The sex toy sells for $4,000, or £2,600.

Store owner Vanessa Baldini, told the G1 news website, the robber might not get any satisfaction from Wednesday's theft.

Why not?

... the robber didn't take the charger for the sex toy.

Doh! And if you're thinking perhaps he did it for the gold plating ...

[The store owner] said the Swedish-made vibrator has a stainless steel core, making removing any gold plating extremely difficult.

A few days later ... Um, excuse me. Do you sell chargers separately? ... Here's the source, with a photo of the spoils.

Who knew a couple mankinis would cause such a fuss? As reported by the BBC:

Two students who dressed up as the TV character Borat are at the centre of a row in Vietnam.

The pair performed a dance act at a company party dressed as the spoof Kazakh journalist in his notoriously skimpy "mankini" swimming costume.

They have now found themselves suspended from college for 12 months.

The incident, dubbed the "nude dance of FPT Arena students", has stirred up a storm on internet forums and also in the domestic media.

The leading technology firm FPT owns the college where the two performers were studying design.

In a statement, FPT Arena said the organisers of the party did not know about the act in advance, adding that two of the firm's executives had been sacked over the incident.

Hanoi Cultural Inspectorate on Tuesday fined the college 4m dong ($240; £135) for a number of offences including "use of improper clothing".

You can read more here.

If you went to law school, you probably read the title of the post and thought, hmm, that sounds like a question on a law school exam. If you're a normal person, you probably thought "finders, keepers." So, who gets the money? As reported by azcentral.com:

An Arizona court says a man's heirs are entitled to $500,000 cash that was found in the walls of his former home years after he died.

The Court of Appeals ruling Thursday upholds a judge's decision that the money, stashed in ammunition cans inside the walls, belongs to Robert Spann's estate.

Spann died in 2001. According to the ruling, his daughters found stocks, bonds, cash and gold hidden in his suburban Phoenix home before they sold it seven years later.

The couple who bought the home in Paradise Valley claimed the cash after a worker found it in the walls during kitchen and bathroom remodeling.

We're rich! We're rich! No? Exactly how is that money not the property of the current homeowner?

The Court of Appeals said that legally, the money was only mislaid, not abandoned, so it still belonged to Spann's estate.

Lawyers: Yes, of course. Normal folks: WTF are you talking about? Here's the source.

Yes, it's important to follow the law. And yes, sometimes the state must pursue cases based on principle. But this case? Really? As reported by The Juneau Empire, here's what happened:

Prosecutors said 19-year-old Tyler John Leatham angrily pushed over and damaged a trash can receptacle in the lobby of the fast food restaurant after he didn’t receive the correct amount of change back for his meal.

Hang him! Here's how Mr. Leatham described it:

Outside the courtroom, Leatham told the Empire it wasn’t even his money that was in question. Leatham said he and his friend were going through the drive-thru for breakfast around 7 a.m. that morning, and his friend accidently handed the cashier an extra $10 that he thought was a $1 bill.

His friend went inside the restaurant to talk to management, but to no avail. After waiting inside the car for 15 minutes, Leatham said he went inside to see what was going on.

One of the managers told Leatham she was going to call the police, which Leatham said made him frustrated. He pushed the trash can over on the way out of the door, a fact which Higgins told the judge he conceded.

He admitted it! Guilty! Not so fast. Check out the charge:

Leatham was charged with fourth-degree criminal mischief for intentionally causing damage to property in an amount of $50 or more, but less than $500.

Assistant Attorney General Chris Peloso said the receptacle cost about $940 to replace.

Even though The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, the defense is relatively obvious (at least it is after reading the story ...)

An invoice for the $940 replacement cost was submitted to the court.

Wait for it ...

But defense attorney Kevin Higgins argued the critical element for valuation under criminal mischief statutes is the amount of damage caused by the defendant, not simply the value of the damaged property.

The amount of damage has to be established through evidence showing either diminution in value or cost of repair, Higgins said.

“Diminution in value is measured by determining the difference between the pre-damage value of the property and the post-damage value of the property,” Higgins wrote in his motion to acquit which he submitted to the court after the state rested its case. “The cost of repair is also an acceptable method of valuing property damage.... Replacement cost is an unacceptable measure of the amount of damage.”

Bam!

Juneau District Court Judge Keith Levy agreed and concluded the state did not present enough evidence regarding the amount of damage actually caused during the Dec. 20 incident.

“It’s sort of like if you had a 1978 Plymouth that got damaged and the cost to replace it — I think we would know that that would far exceed the current value,” Levy said. “Here, there’s no evidence from which I think a reasonable juror could figure out what the current value of the trash receptacle was before and after the alleged damage.”

“I don’t believe a reasonable juror could conclude that the amount of the damage here exceeded $50,” Levy added.

Leatham and the jury were excused before 1 p.m. and the charge was dropped.

Kind of makes you wonder why the charge was brought in the first place. Here's the source.