Squeezed on:

Must Have Captain Morgan. Must Have Captain Morgan. Must …


You get the idea. This guy was hellbent on getting him some Captain Morgan. Could he have been so focused on the task at hand that he forgot to get dressed? Perhaps, although it’s more likely that he was just already plastered. Anyway, as reported by The Naples Daily News (naplesnews.com):

The [14-year-old] girl told Lee County sheriff’s deputies she was at her home in the 6700 block of Magnolia Lane, Fort Myers, when she heard someone in the kitchen.

According to Lee arrest reports, she left her bedroom, went to the kitchen, and found 47-year-old Kennan Kluesener of Eustis naked and bent over in the pantry taking a bottle of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum.

Scary right?

Terrified, she ran back to her room where she heard him use the telephone before leaving the house.

The girl’s father told deputies he was doing yard work out back when his daughter informed him there was someone in the house. Reports say the father found Kluesener naked in his front yard. A neighbor was inside his home when his dogs began barking.

By and chance did that neighbor have a gun?

According to reports, the neighbor saw Kluesener in the front yard and retrieved his gun. Once outside, he saw Kluesener naked in the neighbor’s front yard and detained him at gunpoint until deputies arrived.

The charges?

Kluesener is facing charges of burglary of an occupied dwelling and petit theft.

Here’s the source.