Legal Juice

A tv? If you're wondering how this is possible, so is The Juice. As reported by WCCO (Minneapolis):

The officer then saw in plain view that King had a large item wrapped in plastic and stuffed down his pants. It was a 19-inch flat screen television. King also had other items in his pants, including a media player television remote, power cords, a bottle of brake fluid and two Xanax pills, a Schedule IV controlled substance.

Shazam! You can read more, and see a photo of the perp here.

Incredibly it can, and did. Mind you that this happened in Australia, where the loser pays the other side's court costs. Still ... How did it all start? As reported by The Cairns Post:

A fixed radar on a police car clocked [Steven Edward ] Osgood [54] driving at 93km/h in an 80km/h zone on the Kennedy Highway near Kuranda in June, 2006. Osgood contested the charge, saying the radar's accuracy was in doubt because the police car was coming over the crest of a hill and around a bend.

Noooooooooooo. Couldn't just pay the $250 [AUS] ticket.

A trial was held in Cairns Magistrates' Court over three days in January and February 2008, with both Osgood and police calling expert witnesses.

After hearing the evidence, a Cairns magistrate convicted him of speeding and fined him $250 as well as an additional $65 in court costs and $7209 in prosecution costs.

At this point, the thinking must have been "why quit now?"

Last year, Osgood lost an appeal against those costs in Cairns District Court and was ordered to pay another $1800.

Uncle? Nope.

Representing himself in court via video link in his final appeal bid yesterday, Osgood claimed there were shortcomings in the use of police radars and there would be huge ramifications if his appeal was successful.

In her written judgment, Judge White refused to grant leave to appeal and ordered Osgood to pay the respondent's costs.

"No issue of public policy about the accuracy of the devices used by police to detect breaches of the speed limits on Queensland roads is raised on the evidence which would suggest that leave to appeal ought to be granted."

That has GOT to hurt, to say nothing of the cash Mr. Osgood shelled out for his own experts. Here's the source.

So he wanted to be the first kid on the block with an AK-47? Is there a problem? As reported by the Hernando County Sheriff's Office (in Florida, of course):

On February 23, 2012, a detective with the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office arrested a 13 year- old for grand theft of a firearm. The suspect’s mother cleans houses in Hernando County as a source of income. On or about February 12, 2012, the suspect was assisting his mother with a residential cleaning in Spring Hill. While cleaning, the suspect proceeded to remove a rifle bag containing an AK-47 assault rifle, numerous rounds of ammunition, as well as several magazines. After a detective notified the suspect’s mother of the theft, she eventually located the rifle bag hidden in her son’s closet. The rifle was returned to the owner with all of its accessories intact. The suspect confessed to stealing the rifle, because he really liked it and knew that his mother would never buy him one. He advised that he had no other intentions for the rifle and denied committing any other crimes. The suspect was subsequently arrested for the felony theft and later transported to Ocala per the Department of Juvenile Justice. Detectives are in the process of contacting the mothers other clients to make sure the suspect did not take any other items. As of this date, no other crimes have been reported involving this suspect.

“This is a situation that could have ended in tragedy,” said Sheriff Al Nienhuis. “Recently in the Tampa Bay area, there have been several incidents that have involved guns and accidental shootings that have ended in the death of, or serious injury of, innocent victims. I would like to take this opportunity to remind homeowners, whether you have children or not, to please make sure your firearms are properly secured, especially when others will be entering your home.”

You'll find the source here.

That older man over there, do you know what he used to do? He looks vulnerable, but ... A couple of young men learned that a certain 62-year-old still has it. As reported by TheLocal.se:

Gray-haired and requiring the use of a rollator to get around, Rolf Klasson certainly didn't give the impression that he would put up a fight when two young men approached him on Tuesday in central Lidköping.

Klasson was about to take out money from a cash machine when one of the hoodlums demanded the elderly gentlemen give up his wallet, while the other brandished a knife, the local Nya-Lidköpings Tidning (NLT) reported.

What Klasson's attackers didn't know was that their seemingly helpless victim was a retired professional boxer who had once been a sparring partner for Bo 'Bosse' Högberg, who held the European light-middleweight boxing title in 1966.

"I said to them, 'this isn't going to go well'," he told the Expressen newspaper.

That is classic. Definitely the line for that moment.

But the two young men simply scoffed at the old man's warning, something they would soon regret.

Before the pair of cocky thugs knew what had happened, Klasson knocked the knife-wielding thief to the ground with a right hook.

"Then I laid out the other with a left jab," he told Expressen.

Both men fled the scene, still in shock at having been decked by a man who was likely more than twice their age and required assistance to get around town.

What did the authorities think about Mr. Klasson's handiwork?

Margita Johansson of the Lidköping police praised the former boxer for his efforts.

"It was well done. One does have the right to defend oneself," she told NLT.

As if right on cue, said Mr. Klasson:

"They came after the wrong guy."

Well done sir. Here's the source.

You get the idea. This guy was hellbent on getting him some Captain Morgan. Could he have been so focused on the task at hand that he forgot to get dressed? Perhaps, although it's more likely that he was just already plastered. Anyway, as reported by The Naples Daily News (naplesnews.com):

The [14-year-old] girl told Lee County sheriff’s deputies she was at her home in the 6700 block of Magnolia Lane, Fort Myers, when she heard someone in the kitchen.

According to Lee arrest reports, she left her bedroom, went to the kitchen, and found 47-year-old Kennan Kluesener of Eustis naked and bent over in the pantry taking a bottle of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum.

Scary right?

Terrified, she ran back to her room where she heard him use the telephone before leaving the house.

The girl’s father told deputies he was doing yard work out back when his daughter informed him there was someone in the house. Reports say the father found Kluesener naked in his front yard. A neighbor was inside his home when his dogs began barking.

By and chance did that neighbor have a gun?

According to reports, the neighbor saw Kluesener in the front yard and retrieved his gun. Once outside, he saw Kluesener naked in the neighbor’s front yard and detained him at gunpoint until deputies arrived.

The charges?

Kluesener is facing charges of burglary of an occupied dwelling and petit theft.

Here's the source.

It may not be the oldest trick in the book, but it's on the list. As reported by The Florida Times-Union (jacksonville.com):

Jacksonville police are looking to find a man who attempted to rob a Gate gas station on 103rd Street Monday morning.

About 3 a.m., a man with a plastic bag over his head walked behind the counter and ordered the clerk to "open the register and give me all the money," according to a report from the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office.

The man had a pointed object protruding from his shirt.

About that pointed object ...

... the clerk immediately realized it was the man's finger and said, "I'm not giving you anything," according to the report.

Time to cut your losses? Not quite.

The would-be robber then turned his attention to a customer.

He told the customer to give up all of his money and, "[t]he customer laughed at the suspect," according to the report.

The suspect was last seen heading northbound on foot from the business at 7023 103rd St.

Click here for the source.

It's good when high school students do odd jobs to earn a little extra money, right? This story might make you change your mind, or at least ask what the "jobs" are. As reported by ktla.com:

Charles Hersel was arrested in 2009 during a sting operation at a Thousand Oaks mall.

Westlake High School students said Hersel paid them to yell profanities, spit and slap his face, according to officials.

Several students also said he offered them cash to urinate and defecate on him, Ventura County sheriff's detectives said.

It was a "sting" so ...

Hersel was charged with four counts of annoying and molesting a child.

Mr. Hersel fought the charges. His defense?

During the trial Hersel's lawyer, Ron Bamieh, admitted the 41-year old paid more than a dozen teenagers to do those acts, but said the acts were not for sexual gratification.

What did the jury think?

Last week, jurors acquitted Hersel of all charges.

Had he lost?

He was facing a year in jail and would have been required to register as a sex offender.

Here's the source.

Good things come to those who wait? So maybe that wouldn't have been the case here, since our perp was waiting in line at the KFC/Taco Bell drive-through... Still, patience is a virtue. Impatience, at least when manifested this way, is criminal. As reported by tampabay.com:

Jennifer Lynn Betterly was angry at how long the woman in front of her was taking to order food in the drive-through lane Saturday evening.

Sure. It happens.

So after screaming at her, police said, Betterly repeatedly rammed her Ford Focus into the woman's car, then drove off.

Yikes.

Betterly, 24, was arrested at 6:45 p.m. Saturday, about an hour after the incident at the KFC/Taco Bell at 1648 Missouri Ave. S, according to an arrest report. She was driving with a suspended license, and police found a prescription pill bottle containing a single pill of the sleep aid Ambien. The label was torn, and she was unable to prove the pill was prescribed for her, according to the report.

The charges?

Betterly faces felony charges of aggravated battery and possession of a controlled substance, in addition to misdemeanor charges of driving with a suspended license, reckless driving and leaving the scene of a crash.

Crazy, right? It's not like she was at Wendy's ...

The Juice understands that sometimes it's hard to just walk away. This was NOT one of those times... As reported by ObserverToday.com (New York):

Maria K. Sams, 18, of McDonough Street, Dunkirk was charged with second-degree harassment and littering on Feb. 11. Police responded to a fight at McDonald's but the fight had broken up before police had arrived. When asked to leave the restaurant, Sams threw down a paper cup while walking away. When being arrested for littering, she became resistant and combative kicking an officer in the face. She was released on $100 bail.

Doh!

When some folks are ready for supper, there's just no telling what they'll do if it's not ready. What this fella allegedly did will make it very difficult for his wife to prepare dinner for him, at least in the near future. From the Charleston (West Virginia) Daily Mail:

A Sissonville man who was upset that dinner wasn't ready set fire to his home Sunday, according to the Kanawha County Sheriff's Department.

Deputy A.J. Miller responded to 19452 Derrick's Creek Road just before midnight after Beverly Jones called to report that her husband, Guy, 60, had started the fire.

Jones said her husband returned home after drinking and was upset because she didn't have dinner on the table. After an argument, Jones fled to a neighbor's home. She told deputies she saw flames coming from the basement and her husband exiting the basement door.

Miller said the home was engulfed in flames when he arrived. Jones was arrested and charged with first-degree arson. He was taken to South Central Regional Jail.

Zoinks!

So this 78-year-old woman thinks her 84-year-old husband had an affair 35 years ago. What did she do? As reported by The Daily Herald:

The woman allegedly told police she pushed her husband down and hit him with a bowl and a metal pipe. Investigators recovered the woman's diary in which she allegedly wrote, "I beat him again." The diary described how she hit her husband with a carpet sweeper and went after him with a knife. The diary entry also stated that "I told him it would be worth going to jail just to watch him bleed to death," [Snohomish County deputy prosecutor Valerie] Shapiro wrote.

A witness told police the woman admitted that she had kicked her husband three times in the groin over the last six months because she believed he'd had an affair 35 years ago, according to court documents.

Damn! His injuries?

The man suffered several broken ribs, a shattered pelvis and a fractured wrist, ... Shapiro wrote in court documents.

The woman was charged with assault.

Yes, Juice readers, this is still on the books, like all laws The Juice writes about.

860.11 - Injuring railroad structures; driving cattle on tracks.—Whoever ... salts the track of any railroad company for the purpose of attracting cattle thereto ... shall be guilty of a felony of the second degree ...

The cows are coming! The cows are coming! Here's the statute.(Click on "Chapter 860," then "860.11.")

If you think your parents ever embarrassed you, step aside, and let this girl through. She is clearly at the front of the line. As reported by thelocal.de:

A German judge has dismissed a lawsuit by a couple of swingers after their 15-year-old daughter discovered a video of them in a sex club with their faces undisguised on the website of TV channel RTL.

Can't top that, can you? Didn't think so. How did it happen?

The production company responsible for producing the report for RTL had meant to pixelate the couple’s faces but forgot, according to a report in the Süddeutsche Zeitung on Thursday.

So ...

The swinging parents wanted compensation for the alleged pain and suffering their family faced after the embarrassing revelations.

Just one problem ...

... the presiding judge said that in order to proceed with the lawsuit, the girl would have had to appear in court to testify and describe her shock – something he said she should be spared.

“I wouldn’t want be in your shoes,” he told the parents, according to the Süddeutsche. "That's simply embarrassing."

He explained that the parents weren’t due compensation because they had agreed to the filming in the first place and the production mistake had been an honest one.

So how do we get out of this mess?

[The judge] suggested a compromise: That the production company and RTL pay the parents a small fee for their appearance and cover their legal expenses of about €3,000 [euros].

After all, he said, the fact that real people could say “this is what these people look like” probably made the show even more successful than normal.

That "small fee" better be going to that poor girl. Here's the source.

When you hear the facts, you'll no doubt agree that the boyfriend clearly had it coming. As reported by lancasteronline.com:

An officer responded to Lancaster General Hospital at 9:39 a.m. Monday for a report of a stabbing victim, city police said in a criminal complaint.

A 19-year-old Lancaster man said he had been stabbed at 11 p.m. Sunday in the 600 block of St. Joseph Street, police said. He sustained two one-inch lacerations to his left arm.

Jasmine Marie Rivera, 18, of the first block of East Walnut Street, admitted that she had stabbed the man, who is her boyfriend, police said.

Ouch. So what did he to do deserve being stabbed?

She said she had become upset because she had waited outside for him Sunday and he took too long to arrive.

She has a knife, and apparently a bad temper. The Juice hopes he never cheats on her ...

Rivera was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and simple assault before District Judge Cheryl Hartman, city police Lt. Todd Umstead said.

Unsecured bail was set at $15,000, and Rivera was released Monday night.

Here's the source, including a photo of Ms. Rivera.

Yeah, firing a bottle rocket out of your butt is never a good idea. And it's even worse if it fails to launch! From the recently filed West Virginia case of Helmburg v. The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity and Travis Hughes:

Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated ... and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot a bottle rocket out of his anus on the ATO deck ...

Plaintiff and his girlfriend were also present on the ATO deck.

Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rock blew up in Defendant's rectum, and this startled plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent to the deck.

So, you might be wondering, what legal duties does the plaintiff allege were breached by ATO?

ATO owed plaintiff a duty ... to supervise its guests and its own fraternity members, such as Defendant Hughes, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one's own anus.

What about Mr. Hughes?

Defendant Hughes also owed plaintiff and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to file bottle rockets out of his anus.

And here's a count for both defendants:

Plaintiff asserts that the activity of underage drinking and firing bottle rockets out of one's own anus constitutes an "ultra-hazardous" activity which exposes both of these defendants to strict liability.

A painful night, all around.

For this judge, the job is apparently not all about banging away on a gavel and doling out some justice. Although she has only been charged, it's not looking good. As reported by lancasteronline.com:

A Lancaster city district judge has been removed from the bench after she was charged Monday with a dozen criminal offenses.

The charges relate to District Judge Kelly S. Ballentine dismissing three of her own parking tickets last year and in 2010, according to a police affidavit.

After a lengthy investigation, the state Attorney General filed 12 charges, including nine felonies, regarding Ballentine's conduct while on the bench.

She's charged with tampering with public records (six counts), restricted activities due to a conflict of interest (three counts), and obstruction of the administration of law (three counts).

As of Monday, Ballentine will no longer hear cases or serve as district judge.

"At this time, I have issued an order that she be placed on indefinite administrative leave until all criminal charges are resolved," said Lancaster County President Judge Joseph Madenspacher, who has authority over the county magistrates.

If you're wondering how the Judge will get by, here's how.

Ballentine will receive pay during that time, [Judge] Madenspacher said. "I have no power to suspend her."

Here's the skinny:

According to records, Ballentine dismissed three of her own tickets for parking illegally in front of her house.

Ballentine, 43, dismissed a no-parking ticket and an expired registration ticket in December 2010 and a no-parking ticket in January 2011, the affidavit shows.

As The Juice said, it's not looking good. Here's the source.

Such a brilliant hiding place. Who would possibly notice a large protrusion in the front of your pants? As reported by triblocal.com (Naperville, Illinois):

A 28-year-old man from the 200 block of North Smith Street, Aurora, was arrested about 6:08 p.m. Feb. 6 in the 2900 block of Audrey Avenue and charged with retail theft after placing a spool of copper wiring valued at $105 into the front of his pants.

Hey, how'd that get there? Doh!

How could a 55-year-old man get arrested for playing on a trampoline? Here's how, as reported by stv.tv.

As [his neighbor] looked out of her window, she saw James Burden stark naked with a cigarette in one hand and his genitals in the other. Falkirk Sheriff Court heard the gobsmacked victim told police that 55-year-old Burden was "as bold as brass ...and purposeful".

"gobsmacked" ... nice

Mike McMahon, prosecuting, said that the woman, who lives in a block of four flats in Falkirk’s Westquarter, had got up to go to her bathroom as 5.14am on March 25 this year.

As she passed her kitchen window, she saw Burden - her upstairs neighbour - in the back garden. She then saw Burden approach the back door of the block of flats.

The woman rushed into her living room and called police. Mr McMahon said: "He told police he had gone out to the trampoline and had masturbated himself there."

Zoinks! If you're wondering "why?" ...

... Burden told officers: "Just for the thrill of it." He added: "I did not intend anyone to see me."

Burden, of Yew Terrace, Westquarter, pled guilty to publicly exposing his person in a shameless and indecent manner, and approaching his neighbour's house and placing the occupant in a state of fear and alarm.

The time?

Sheriff Craig Caldwell deferred sentence until next month for reports.

There's probably not a lot of precedent for this particular crime.

This is an example of a ridiculously over-the-top reaction to a totally harmless "event." As reported by wdam.com:

Bond has been set for a JCJC student who was arrested for a hand written note claiming there was a bomb on campus.

Sounds serious, right? Nope, as you'll see below.

Judge Billie Graham set a $20,000 bond for Harold Wayne Hadley Jr., 19. Hadley was arrested at his home in Seminary on Tuesday after the note was found in a bathroom at the industrial services building on the JCJC campus. In all, 11 agencies responded to the threat, but no bomb was found. Officials said Hadley was arrested after they matched his handwriting to the note, which was written on toilet paper. His family says the word "bomb" is often used by Hadley in reference to a bodily function and not an explosive device.

In case you haven't figured it out, "bomb" = "fart".

"He was in the restroom doodling on some toilet paper and I am going to just let modesty go and tell you we are from the country, and so he calls passing gas, bombs," said Hadley's Aunt. "So, he was doodling on the toilet paper and put I passed a bomb in the library, talking about passing gas and somebody come in and found it, give it to the teacher that recognized his hand writing and it blow all out of proportion."

He was doodling on toilet paper, people, about farting!

While investigators will not reveal exactly what was written down by Hadley, they tell News Seven that the written bomb threat was more explicit than "I passed a bomb in the library"

Sure. Probably can't say because of "national security." It couldn't be that they were just embarrassed.

Hadley's family says he was an all "A" student who was scheduled to graduate in May. Meanwhile, he remains in the Jones County jail.

Well, we can all rest safely now... Here's the source.

All this time it was right under your nose. So close to your nose, in fact, that one would think you would have smelled it. As reported by scotsman.com:

A cannabis farm has been discovered yards away from a city-centre police station.

And it was only discovered by chance.

More than 300 plants, worth £100,000, were found on the third floor of a disused multi-story warehouse after a blaze in the building, which is 40 yards away from, and opposite, Manchester’s Bootle Street [police] station.

It is thought the fire may have been started by an electrical short circuit that affected lighting used to grow the plants.

Curse you, fuse box! Here's the source.

When this man decided to follow a certain woman, he made a BIG mistake, as reported by
BeeNews.com (New York).

A male called from Corrine Lane stating that an unknown 
male had followed
his wife from Amherst and that he and some friends had the 
vehicle blocked
in on a dead-end street. The man was a private investigator 
who was
 investigating an insurance disability case.

Sounds legit. The problem?

The investigator 
had mistakenly
 been following the wrong person.

Doh!

How do you know when it's time to find somewhere else to live? If your landlord starts losing it over the dishes, pack your bags! As reported by TCPalm.com:

A man told Port St. Lucie police that he's renting a room from Carraway and "all of a sudden Ricky started yelling at him for leaving his dish out and got into his face," the affidavit states.

Uh oh.

The man said Carraway entered his room, pushed him against a wall and choked him. He said Carraway left and came back. Carraway, he said, pointed a gun at him and said he was "about to put some holes in you," the affidavit states.

Holes?! What did Mr. Carraway have to say?

Carraway said he was upset about the man's mess and asked him to clean up. He said the man brushed against him so he pushed him off. Carraway said he got his gun and pointed it toward the ground, telling the man to get out.

So, we're good, right? Nope. Mr. Carraway "was arrested on charges including aggravated assault and battery." Here's the source, including a photo of Mr. Carraway.

You try to be nice to people, and what do you get? Spit on, literally, and more. As reported by the
Northwest Florida Daily News:

A woman who gave her ex-boyfriend a ride to the bowling alley called for help after he called her names, spit in her face, pushed her head against a pillar and threw a glass of water at her.

He also pulled her hair, which was a wig and came off in his hand.

The 35-year-old Fort Walton Beach man had left the area before Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office deputies arrived, according to his arrest report.

Probably didn't even say "thank you."

The incident happened on Jan. 16. Deputies located and arrested him the next day. He was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery.

Here's the source.

As reported in the Tacoma Washington News-Tribune:

In May, a 22-year-old Gig Harbor man spent a night drinking at a tavern with a friend before seeing how fast he could drive his car – on an airport runway. According to court documents, the man, who worked at the Tacoma Narrows Airport, used a code to let himself in, drove onto the runway – and floored it. He hit 105 mph before the car sheared off a runway light, went airborne and landed upside down at the bottom of an embankment, court records said. He suffered minor scrapes, police said. His passenger was more seriously injured. The man pleaded guilty to DUI and had his pilot’s license, er driver’s license, suspended 90 days.

Motha trucka!

As a daily bicycle commuter, it pains The Juice to blast a fellow cyclist. All he can say about this gent is ... DUDE! From The Cairns Post:

A drunken cyclist wobbled along a highway before falling off his bike into a ditch in front of police.

Police say the 26-year-old Feluga man’s blood alcohol concentration was more than five times the limit when they breath-tested him after he crashed on the Bruce Highway at Tully.

They say he returned a reading of 0.28 per cent just after the incident, which happened about 10.50pm on Saturday.

The man was charged with riding a bicycle whilst under the influence of liquor, and will appear in the Tully Magistrates Court on November 19.

Uncool, very uncool.

The Juice is feeling it just thinking about pounding 20 beers. But that's exactly what a 26-year-old Kalamazoo, Michigan man did. Fortunately he did not succeed with what he set out to do after the binge. He did do some damage though, including a pretty disgusting grand finale. As reported by mlive.com:

Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety Assistant Chief Brian Uridge said the man told officers he was feeling depressed, went to the top of the Radisson [Plaza Hotel & Suites] ramp at 100 N. Rose St. and drank 20 beers to "get enough courage to commit suicide," Uridge said.

The man, whose name has not been released, then proceeded to drive out of the ramp and struck eight vehicles, causing $75,000 worth of damage.

You're probably wondering about the grand finale?

The man then got on top of a car and defecated on it, Uridge said.

Perhaps it was a symbolic act, with the car representing his life, or him, or ... who knows. At least he didn't kill himself.

Uridge said the man was arrested at about 3 p.m. on suspicion of drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level of 0.17 or higher, which under state law is called "super drunk." Police did not release the man's BAC Friday.

Here's the source.

It's 3:30 a.m. What's the rush? That would be a good question to ask Mr. Warren Melamed. As reported by www.newschannel5.com:

Mount Juliet Police say the two ambulance drivers were taking a patient out of a home on a stretcher at 3:30 Saturday morning, when they say, Melamed, attempted to drive the ambulance away.

"They immediately laid the patient down and asked the gentlemen to get himself out from behind the wheel," said Wilson Co. Emergency Management Director John Jewell.

Police say the Brentwood resident was angry because the ambulance was blocking him in, and he was trying to move it.

The Juice concurs with this neighbor.

"What's the urgency at 3, 3:30 in the morning? Why do you have to leave that quickly that you can't wait until they load this man up and get him where he needs to be," said neighbor Amanda Hamblen. "That person having that emergency right then is the only person that matters."

So, what happened to Mr. Melamed?

[He] was arrested and charged with a misdemeanor, unauthorized use of a class A vehicle.

Hmm. And who is this fellow anyway?

Online Melamed lists himself as CEO of Oral Health Management, a local chain of dentist offices. Calls Tuesday for comment weren't returned.

Oh my. That's not going to be good for business. Here's the source, including a photo of Mr. Melamed.

This man, just convicted of sexual battery and facing 20 years to life, just walks right out of the courtroom, and the courthouse? Yup. As reported by The Times-Picayune:

Orleans Parish Sheriff Marlin Gusman said his office is reviewing just how a freshly convicted sex offender simply walked out of a criminal courtroom, down the steps of the courthouse and out of sight before anyone noticed.

Gusman's office also released a photo of Teddy Magee, who faces 20 years to life in prison after a jury convicted him of second-degree sexual battery Monday, despite the victim's support during the trial.

How did it happen?

Following the verdict, the woman grew hysterical, and as Criminal District Court Judge Benedict Willard and lawyers were discussing a possible appeal bond for Magee, the defendant apparently walked to the back of the courtroom and out the door.

So nobody was responsible for keeping tabs on a violent sex offender?

In a news release, Gusman said his office was looking into whether any policies or procedures were broken.

See, apparently there's a simple explanation.

"One deputy was escorting the jury out, and you had the other with the situation about the woman doing what she was doing [acting hysterical]. All that was part of the process of what was going on," Ehrhardt said.

Really? That's it? A minor distraction, and a felon walks right out of the courthouse? You can read more here.

The Juice is not aware of any stats on the quickest violation of a protective order. If any such compendium existed, this case would have to be near the top. As reported by sonomanews.com:

Deputies didn't have to go far to arrest an individual who had violated a court order – he was still in jail. The man had been arrested earlier that morning on a domestic violence charge and was served with an emergency protective order forbidding him or any third party from having any contact with his wife. The man called his wife three times from the county jail, leaving messages on her answering machine. The man's grandmother also called the wife and left a message saying she was going to bail her grandson out. The man, who was still in jail, had a probation violation and disobeying a court order added to the charges he's facing.

A two-fer! Violations by calling directly, and through granny. Brilliant!