Legal Juice

Remember the "wet bandits" from the movie "Home Alone"? Their m.o. was to flood a house after burglarizing it. So, caught for one, caught for them all. While this Rhode Island gent did not flood any houses, he had a very revealing clue in his pocket. As reported by WPRI (Pawtucked, Rhode Island):

Police said MCU detectives arrested Jimmy Honeycutt and his girlfriend Stephanie McDole Wednesday.

Detectives pulled over the pair in the city because their car matched the description of a vehicle wanted in connection with a similar robbery at a Getty gas station the day before in Attleboro.

Wait for it ...

Major Martins of the Pawtucket Police Department says Honeycutt was found with evidence linking him to the robberies. In his pocket police discovered torn pages from a phone book, with asterisks next to some of the businesses robbed this month.

Boom! It doesn't get much easier than that.

Police said during two of the earlier robberies, the suspect used a syringe to threaten the clerks.

The charges?

Honeycutt is charged with five counts of first-degree robbery. McDole is charged with two counts of first-degree robbery.

Click here for the source, including a video.

[Sorry if this disappoints anyone, but that there is a costume.]

So wet t-shirt contests might not be your thing, but really, is it something you want to spend time prosecuting? In Mason City, Iowa, that would be a "yes," as reported by RadioIowa.com.

A magistrate court jury in Cerro Gordo County has found the owner of a Clear Lake tavern not guilty of violating that community's adult entertainment ordinance. The six-member panel returned the verdict after Alan Slater was charged last June after allegedly holding a wet t-shirt contest at The Marina.

Slater testified that he was planning to hold a wet t-shirt contest at the bar, but then backed out after thinking that he'd receive a citation from the city. He said he then let the public host the contest at the bar and directed his staff to keep things within the law.

Clever man, that Mr. Slater.

Why is this not your average dog bite case? Well, because a man bit a dog. And not just any dog, but a police dog. Yikes. As reported by NBCConnecticut.com:

West Haven officer Scott Bloom was on patrol with his K-9, Onyx, near the Rite Aid on Elm Street early Thursday morning, when he noticed Roderick Lewis walking toward him.

Lewis yelled out "I need a bag of dust," referring to Angel Dust, according to police.

That's when things went south, for all parties concerned.

Lewis, 23, walked toward the officer and reached into his waistband. The officer grabbed Lewis' arms and told him to stop. That's when Lewis punched officer Bloom in the face, according to police.

Woof, woof! [Dog-to-English translation: Oh no you din't!]

Onyx, the police dog, jumped from Bloom's cruiser and attacked the suspect, latching onto his leg, according to police.

But then Lewis did his own chomping, biting into the dog's side, police said. Lewis didn't let go until the officer had to physically pull him off the dog, police said.

The charges?

... assault on a police officer, disorderly conduct and cruelty to animals.

Here's the source, which includes a mug shot.

Does marinating a cat really enhance the flavor? Hey, don't shoot the messenger. (And please, PETA folks, no more emails. The Juice truly likes animals, especially cats.) Mr. Gary Korkuc was caught literally marinating his cat. Here's the story, as reported by www.buffalonews.com:

Buffalo police say officers heard the cat meowing when they stopped 51-year-old Gary Korkuc of Cheektowaga to ticket him for running a stop sign Sunday night.

They say they checked the trunk and found 4-year-old Navarro in a cage, his fur covered with oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers.

Very uncool. But why?

Police say Korkuc told them he did it because Navarro was ill-tempered.

... he [also] told them he was going to cook Navarro. But they say Korkuc also complained that the neutered male cat got pregnant after he was spayed.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] A pregnant male cat? Anyway, it looks like Navarro will be fine, as he was cleaned up and is awaiting adoption. And Mr. Korkuc?

[He] was charged with cruelty and released; his phone number isn't listed.

Think he's glad he opted for an unlisted number?

After 6 years of litigation, everything else was settled in this divorce, which began just 4 months after the birth of the child at the heart of the controversy. Just what is the controversy? Whether the birth mother can prohibit her daughter's stepmother from calling the stepmother "Mum" or a variation thereof. Really. This was the only issue left for a Judge in Australia to decide. Per the Australian:

The woman, who cannot be named, argued that her ex-husband was deliberately undermining her role as their child's mother, by encouraging his new wife to answer to the terms "Mum" and "Mummy" and "Mummy-D" (D being the first letter of the stepmother's first name).

Biological mum's argument:

... the stepmother should not be permitted to refer to herself "as a motherly figure".

Biological dad?

By consent, her ex-husband agreed that his new wife should not be "Mum or "Mummy" but thought "Mummy-D" was fine.

Sounds like a reasonable compromise. Mum?

Ms Klement [mum] was "adamant that the child should only call her Mum" or any variation of "Mum".

Judge, please, put an end to this.

The court declined to make an order that the child not refer to her stepmother as "Mummy-D" in part because the judge was concerned that such an order would lead to further litigation "where it would be up to the court to determine whether the father had breached the order in relation to encouraging the child to use the term Mummy-D".

Well done, sir. Here's the source.

The public library is a terrific place for a 92-year-old man to try to ... hook up? So thought Florida resident Herbert Johnson. The library's employees were not flattered. Per nbcmiami.com:

Stuart resident Herbert Johnson, 92, has been ordered to stay out of Martin County public libraries after waging an amorous campaign toward female employees.

His offensive included, for one librarian in particular, a letter left on the front desk "containing sexually explicit language stating what (he) wanted to do to" her.

Authorities say Johnson also sent the woman "innapropriate" gifts and letters, which she either refused or destroyed. A second employee reported Johnson made unwanted advances toward her, as well.

You're really not going to tell us what the "inappropriate" gifts were? Not cool.

A Martin County deputy visited Johnson at home, handing him a trespass warning for all county libraries.

Banned! Here's the source.

Actually, Dayton, Ohio resident Tony Henderson only thought the woman he propositioned was a prostitute. Unfortunately for him, she was a police officer. So what happened that fateful night in April 2006? As reported by the Court of Appeals of Ohio, Dayton Police officer Dyan Briggs was working as a prostitution decoy. She testified that

Mr. Henderson asked me if I was working, to which I replied I was. Mr. Henderson then stated, come on, and motions for me to follow him back across the street ... And I said what do you want. And he said I want to make love. And I said, okay, you want to have sex. What do I get. He said what do you get. I said, yeah, what do I get.

A fair question, but it raised a red flag for Mr. Henderson.

"He's like man, you sound like a cop. [Walk away, dude. Walk away.] I was like I'm not a cop. And he's like, well, I got some candy. [Doh!] And I said you have candy. And he said, yeah, I got candy. And I said what kind of candy do you have. He said bubble gum. I said what flavor. He said bubble gum. I said is it grape or what. And he said it's strawberry. I said is it sugarless.

Mr. Henderson apparently grew tired of the chit-chat.

"And he's like, fuck you. And I said, you offered me candy. And at that point Detective St. Clair drove up in his car and I believe he placed Mr. Henderson in a set of handcuffs."

Snap! Busted for soliciting a prostitute by offering a stick of gum! Fast forward: Mr. Henderson is before a Judge, and arresting officer Raymond St. Clair testifies:

I asked Mr. Henderson why he asked her, being Officer Briggs, for sex, and Mr. Henderson replied because she's a whore. And I asked why did you offer her bubble gum for sex, and Mr. Henderson replied because I have no money."

Click here to find out the judge's decision.

Continue reading "What Happens If You Offer Gum To A Prostitute?" »

So you're going out for a beer. What's the big deal if you order a cold one, and then step out to, say, rob a bank? As reported by wtsp.com:

[Pasco County, Florida] Deputies say they got a call around 1:42 Thursday afternoon of a man robbing the Wells Fargo Bank located at 8994 State Road 52. About 10 minutes later, they encountered a man who fit the robber's description a few doors down at the Hayloft Bar.

No, it can't be him. Or could it?

A bartender told deputies the man ordered a beer, disappeared for about 30 minutes, and then returned to his drink.

Think he ordered a Duff beer? Doh!

Deputies arrested 52-year-old John Robin Whittle on one count of robbery.

Here's the source, including a photo.

If you don't follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), you missed this, and the occasional story that The Juice thinks is time-sensitive (not timeless, like The Juice's other posts.)

Judge orders that Defendant have duct tape over his mouth for his next court appearance. Really. http://goo.gl/KD5fX

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It was an easy day at the office for the police officers assigned to this caper. As reported by The Daily Mail:

It was an early festive gift for John Dacre who had called in 'special branch' after the [Christmas] trees and dozens of holly wreaths and festive decorations went missing from his nursery in Spenborough, West Yorkshire.

The thieves had even stolen two of his trollies to cart off their loot.

You were given a hint as to how they were caught...

... once Mr Dacre had spotted the incriminating pine needles on the ground the police were soon on the case.

Together they followed the trail along the Spen Valley Ringway and across fields, stopping at a house in Firthcliffe where the officers found the trees [dumped in a garden].

Ironically, the stolen trees were "supposed to be "low needle drop" trees which don’t shed so easily." Mr. Dacre was clearly thrilled with the outcome.

'The police were absolutely brilliant. We walked together following this trail through the pouring rain and I joked to them that all we needed was a big magnifying glass and then we’d be real supersleuths!'

The thieves, not so much. See, the police didn't just find the stolen items at the house.

'As an extra present, officers also found a cannabis farm at the address.'

Hmm. Perhaps the owners sampled the crop earlier that day? Here's the source.

So you didn't hear about the sale at Macy's where, for a very limited time, everything was $5? Well, there is a catch. There's always a catch. As reported by wpbf.com:

Vasthi Marseille and Marline Santelus were arrested Thursday on charges of grand theft and organized scheme to defraud.

Wait. You're arresting them for buying things on sale?

Police said the women [Macy's employees] selected almost $1,000 worth of merchandise that they manually marked down to $5 apiece while working at the Macy's in the Town Center at Boca Raton.

Yeah. Who would ever figure that out? It's not like it would be in the computer or anything. The back story of this brilliant crime is truly fascinating:

According to the arrest report, Marseille said she knew of another sales associate "who had done unauthorized price adjustments for other employees in the past," so she figured "why not?"

Or not. Here's the source, with photos of the ladies.

Have you ever heard of an ice cream truck driver - while parked - getting hurt on the job? Well, you're about to. And it's a strange one. As reported by The Salt Lake Tribune:

A Taylorsville woman is accused of spraying an industrial-strength cleaning solution in the eyes of an ice cream truck driver because she thought the treats were too expensive.

The Juice doesn't even know where to begin with this one.

The driver’s "eyes burned," and she was hospitalized after the Aug. 7 confrontation at an apartment complex near 700 West Mackinac Drive, police wrote in charges filed Monday.

According to court documents, the suspect approached the driver and ordered her to leave. When the driver did not leave, the woman sprayed the truck’s windows then sprayed the driver multiple times in the face with Mean Green cleaner, police wrote.

Clearly this is a woman with major issues.

The woman later told police she sprayed the ice cream truck driver because "she charges too much for ice cream," investigators wrote. When the officer arrested her, she tried to pull away and threatened him, saying she would "sock [the officer] in the face" and "kick [the officer] in the balls," police wrote.

So, instead of paying an extra, say, dollar, she's looking at charges of ... "assault, assault against a peace officer, interference with an arresting officer and committing a violent offense in the presence of a child." Brilliant! Here's the source.

You're really going to make a federal case over a can of beans? Well, yes. Because that was no ordinary can of beans, as reported by The Hartford Courant.

Police on Saturday arrested a Fair Haven man who they say received a kilogram of cocaine through the mail that had been hidden inside cans of beans.

So maybe it was a few cans of beans.

William Suarez-Claudio, 26, of 63 Market St., was charged with possession of narcotics with intent to sell ten ounces or more of narcotics and possession of narcotics with intent to sell within 1500-feet of a school. The drugs had a value of more than $100,000, police said.

Who spilled the beans?

Officers from the New Haven police department's Tactical Narcotics Unit, working with inspectors from the U.S. Postal Service in Connecticut, intercepted a parcel that had been mailed in Puerto Rico.

After obtaining a search warrant, police opened the package and discovered the cocaine. It had been divided and hidden inside sealed cans of kidney beans. The beans had been removed and replaced with water. The cocaine had been compressed into large chunks, wrapped in plastic and covered with petroleum jelly, police said.

The parcel was delivered to 63 Market Street, first floor, where it was received by the first floor resident, Suarez-Claudio, police said.

Snap! It's the fuzz. Head for the back door!

Suarez-Claudio attempted to flee through the rear of the apartment building as officers were coming through the front door to execute a warrant, but police stationed in the back yard took him into custody. Suarez-Claudio had the parcel in hand as he attempted to flee, police said.

Should have known they always cover the back door, at least on TV. Here's the source.

Sure was nice of the police officer to offer this dude a ride home on a cold night. Sure was dumb of the dude to accept. As reported by the Cleveland.com (Parma Sun Post):

Police saw the man walking on Broadview at about 2:40 a.m. Dec. 11. Because it was cold, the officer offered him a ride to a house on Meadowlane Road. While patting him down, police found marijuana [and arrested him].

Doh!

The man also was wanted on a warrant from a municipal court.

Doh! Here's the source.

Sure, everyone is forgetful occasionally. But some things you just can't forget. Like that you left your baby in the car ... for 40 minutes. It happened in Colorado Springs. This is from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

Incident Date: June 24, 2010 - Time: 1:30:00 PM - Location: Panera Bread Restaurant

Summary: On the above date and time, officers from the Gold Hill Division were dispatched to the Panera Bread Restaurant to investigate the report of a child that had been left in a car. Officers determined that a 9 month old child had inadvertently been left in a locked car in the parking lot for approximately 40 minutes while the parents had gone into the restaurant for a meal. When the parents came out and realized their mistake, they took immediate actions to call the police and medical personnel.

Two questions: 1) HOW DO BOTH PARENTS FORGET ABOUT A CHILD FOR 40 MINUTES? 2) How can it possibly take you 40 minutes to eat at Panera? Back to the report ..

They took first-aid steps for their child's welfare and the child recovered and was responsive on scene. The baby was transported to Memorial Hospital (Central) as a precautionary measure for evaluation. There was no indication of any injury to the child and he was released to the custody of the parents.

So what do you think? Crime or no crime?

After an exhaustive investigation and consultation with appropriate agencies, no criminal charges were filed in this case. This incident serves as a reminder that leaving children unattended in a vehicle is dangerous and potentially fatal.

Really? Perhaps the reminder would be a little more powerful if the parents were punished!

It sounds crazy, right? A light saber beating a taser? But it happened. It all started one night ... as reported by kgw.com (Portland, Oregon) ...

Officers were dispatched to the [Toys R Us] store shortly before 10 p.m., Wednesday on reports that the man had already assaulted three customers with [two 'Star Wars' light sabers]. None of them was injured.

Before officers arrived, dispatchers were told the man had walked out into the parking lot, still swinging the swords. Police found the man in the lot talking incoherently.

An officer tried to use a taser, but the device failed. A second Taser also failed after the man used the light sabers to break one of the wires, Simpson said.

You doubted The Juice? The light saber neutralized the taser! So, it had to be done the old-fashioned way.

Officers then rushed the man, taking him to the ground as he struggled violently and continued to shout nonsense.

David A. Canterbury, 33, was placed on a police hold at a hospital for a mental evaluation.

The charges?

He was cited for three counts of fourth-degree assault, second-degree disorderly conduct, third-degree theft, resisting arrest and interfering with a police officer.

Here's the source, including a photo.

You come between this lady and her beer, YOU WILL PAY. And it doesn't matter if you're her husband. As reported by TCPalm.com:

The husband on Dec. 9 showed Fort Pierce police a cellphone video of his wife, Tricia Renee Habeb, searching for beer in the refrigerator.

“The suspect became irate at the fact the victim put her beer in the garbage can,” an affidavit states.

Oh yeah? Keep that up, and I'll call the cops!

The husband was heard saying that he’d called police, and Habeb hit her spouse in the face area.

Yikes.

The husband said Habeb came home drunk, and was looking for more beer but couldn’t find it. He said he disposed of the beer and that he wouldn’t give her the car keys because she was intoxicated.

Sounds like a good man. Surely even a drunk woman would appreciate this show of concern?

That, he said, is when Habeb got incensed and chomped him on the arm and neck.

Ouchee! How does she say it went down?

Habeb said her husband held her against her will and that he punched her in the mouth.

Applying the smell test ...

Police saw little, if any, injury to her.

So ...

Habeb [age 35], of the 1400 block of North Lawnwood Circle in Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges including battery and resist officer without violence.

Here's the source, including a photo of Ms. Habeb.

It's not like Ms. McCollister (of Garnerville, Nevada) just gave her son the keys and said "drive." She had him sit on her lap! How drunk was she? .299! To put that in context, having simply read a BAC that high, you should be buzzed. How did Ms. McCollister get to this point? As reported by The Record-Courier:

McCollister told District Judge Dave Gamble on Tuesday that she had been drinking all that weekend. She said she invited an acquaintance to stay at her home because she was in the process of obtaining a temporary restraining order against her husband and she was afraid to be alone.

“He (the houseguest) kept pressuring me to take him home. He drove himself home, and we were in the car. I was pretty much passed out all the way. He pulled into his driveway and just left us there. There was another lady with us, but she didn't have her glasses, so she refused to drive. I had my son get on my lap and drive us,” McCollister said.

Other than lying, there may be nothing judges despise more than the failure to accept responsibility for your actions. Judge Gamble is no exception:

“You just gave me the identities of three or four people whose fault this was, and none of it was yours,” Gamble said. “As long as you think this was anyone else's fault but yours, I have no reason to show any leniency toward you, and you'll get no good out of this.

“All that conspired from your perspective to force you to commit felony child abuse. That's nonsense,” Gamble said. “Next time you're in here, I hope I don't hear a pocketful of excuses for the absolute evilness and irrationality of putting your son on your lap while you're drunk and driving you home.”

And if you're wondering how she got caught, not surprisingly, it turns out a 12-year-old drives a lot like a drunkard.

She was arrested Oct. 17 near the intersection of El Dorado Drive and Village Way in Gardnerville after a Douglas County reserve deputy reported seeing a brown Buick headed north on Highway 395 weaving in and out of the travel lane and varying its speed.

The witness said he passed the vehicle and saw a child in the driver's seat. According to the sheriff's report, he and a deputy contacted McCollister after the vehicle stopped near her residence.

So what is she looking at? ... up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine at her Dec. 14 sentencing [after pleading guilty to attempted child abuse or neglect]. And if the situation wasn't bad enough ...

A woman and a 7-year-old child also were in the vehicle.

And ...

McCollister is to appear Jan. 5 in East Fork Justice Court for sentencing on a second conviction of driving under the influence to which she plead guilty Oct. 20.

It's not that The Juice is unsympathetic to this woman's problem with alcohol. It's just that there is no excuse for putting the lives of your child and others in jeopardy. Here's the source, including a photo.

Yup. A 30-year-old Toronto man was riding the bus. After making eye contact with the man next to him, the friendly guy said "hello." This was too much for the unfriendly guy, who, as reported in The National Post, then asked

Why do you say hello to me? I don't know you.

Um, er, okay. Nevermind. No such luck for the friendly guy.

The victim apologized on the bus, and again when they got off, but the man pulled out a knife and stabbed him. The victim was taken to hospital and received numerous stitches.

Friendly guy is doing alright. Unfriendly guy remains at large.

Probably every generation, as they age, at some point says "kids these days!" That day came for a certain New Yorker, as reported by The Bee Newspapers (New York):

A Redleaf Lane resident reported three teenage males were carrying a baseball bat and a golf club. The complainant told police the youths were not “using them for the appropriate sports.”

Hmm.

Juice devotees know that Sweden really is Big Brother when it comes to names. Apparently that applies to license plates too. Check this out from The Local:

Officials with Sweden’s Road Administration (Vägverket) have denied a driver’s request for a licence place with what at first glance appears to be a completely innocent combination of characters.

Recently, the agency received a request from an individual who wanted a licence plate reading X32IARO.

Despite no obviously offensive reference in the desired combination, Vägverket nonetheless rejected the application.

“It looks like something completely different when seen through a rear-view mirror, and on the road, many end up reading things through the rear-view mirror,” said Vägverket spokesperson Mikael Andersson to the Svenska Dagbladet newspaper.

When read in reverse, as it would be seen through a rear-view mirror, X32IARO suddenly appears as ORALSEX.

So?

Andersson explained that the agency has no specific set of rules for how applications are reviewed and that the hidden meaning of seemingly harmless set of letters and numbers just happened to be uncovered by a Vägverket employee reviewing the application.

Give that man a ... kick in the arse!

“It’s not like we have a checklist for how we check the applications, but it requires a certain degree of creativity to discover inappropriate words,” said Andersson.

So nice to see someone take pride in their work ...efilateg...

You're Benjamin J. Marchant, and you're just sitting in a courtroom in Dickson County, Tennessee. You haven't done anything, other than give a ride to a friend who does have some business before the court. And what did Judge Durwood G. Moore do to Mr. Marchant? From a decision by the Tennessee Court of the Judiciary:

While he sat in your court you observed him and ordered your bailiff or police officers in the courtroom to take Mr. Marchant into custody and to administer a drug test on his person. Mr. Marchant was neither a litigant, a defendant or a person who had business before the Court and was a citizen observer. Mr. Marchant at your direction was seized by police officials and required to provide a urine sample which was drug tested. When the drug test was revealed to be negative Mr. Marchant was released. The ordering of the seizure of Mr. Marchant and this testing were illegal and neither statutory nor constitutional basis existed for your conduct.

What the hell was he thinking? The judges in charge of the disciplinary process were pissed. They hammered Judge Moore for violating a slew of Mr. Marchant's rights. But was he booted from the bench?

This public censure represents the highest degree of judicial discipline authorized by law short of the Court seeking a judgment recommending your removal as a judge from office. In the future you are to accord all citizens who appear in your court their constitutional rights and they shall not be seized on your suspicion for unauthorized drug tests. Each individual who appears before you shall be afforded their due process rights and shall be properly charged and noticed before any adverse action is taken against them.

Oh, and he also got censured, the same day, for something else! How many public censures equal a removal in Tennessee? More than two ...

There are many variations on the theme, including "You're in a shitload of trouble," or "You're in some deep shit." That last one is particularly appropriate in the case of 52-year-old Thomas Hovis Jr. As reported by WANE:

A wanted man in Albion literally created a big stink to avoid being captured by police. He was found hiding neck-deep in a pit of liquid manure.

Police were seeking to arrest Hovis for multiple felony drug charges out of Steuben County, including manufacturing and possession of methamphetamine. His previous offenses include multiple drug charges, aggravated battery, and even a murder conviction in Florida.

Quite a few strikes there.

"We had units that were observing the location," explained Doug Harp, Chief Deputy for the Noble County Sheriff's Department. "We decided based on the information that we had about his criminal background, the charges he was faced with, that we should use our tactical teams [and our clothes pins...]."

When officers arrived, they saw Hovis run into an outbuilding at the rear of the residence. Police attempted to coax Hovis out of the building, but he refused.

SWAT Team members eventually deployed tear gas to enter the building and locate Hovis hiding inside a manure pit.

And if you think he just gave up, nope.

Hovis was removed from the pit and continued to fight arrest. Officers had to tase him before taking him into custody.

A search of the home where Hovis was found also turned up three one pot meth labs, 18 marijuana plants and two grams of methamphetamine. Three guns were also seized, including an assault rifle.

Now that's some serious ...

Some fetishes I get, and some I don't. I don't get this one. As reported in The Courier Mail:

After a night out at a pub in Boggabri, in northern NSW [New South Wales, Australia], a group of people went to a private home on March 27.

So far, so good.

"Police will allege that a man went to the home's bathroom and set up his mobile phone to record people going to the toilet," police said in a statement.

"

Uh oh.

About 1am a 29-year-old woman went to the bathroom to use the toilet and discovered the phone.

"The woman viewed the recording, seized the phone and left the gathering."

Dude probably forgot to turn the ringer off.


Police were alerted to the matter and yesterday arrested a 36-year-old man at the property.

 He has been charged with filming a person in private without consent and is due to face Narrabri Local Court on May 25.

Not cool.

People trying to sneak stuff into jail is not news. You can probably guess one of the techniques that is frequently attempted. Well here's a new one, at least new to The Juice. As reported by North Country Now (New York):

A Moira woman has been arrested for allegedly trying to enter St. Lawrence County Correctional Facility with seven Tylenol PM pills taped to the bottom of her foot, according to St. Lawrence County Sheriff’s Deputies.

So it was unsuccessful. At least it was creative.

Brandy A. Carbino, 32, 64 Birch Lane, Moira, who was being booked into the jail, allegedly tried to smuggle in the pills, deputies report. She is currently sentenced to serve weekends at the jail on another charge.

Carbino was charged with second-degree promoting prison contraband, a class A misdemeanor and issued an appearance ticket for Canton Village Court on Dec. 20.

Looks like they'll be tacking a few more weekends on. Here's the source.

Knowing his demographic, The Juice feels confident that most of you are scratching your heads, or mumbling "WTF does that title mean?" or both. If you don't know, see Casablanca. Anyway, this lady picked perhaps the worst bus stop, of all the bus stops, in all the ... As reported by the Hunterdon County [New Jersey] Democrat:

Detectives Jesse Winfield and Lamont Garnes had just finished their shift and were leaving their office in Flemington when they drove past the LINK bus stop on Court Street next to their office.

Winfield recognized the woman waiting for the bus as Drexcella Jacque, 45, of Raritan Township and knew that she was wanted for violation of probation.

Uh oh.

They approached Jacque and after speaking with her, determined that she was unaware she was sitting at the bus stop that was next to the Sheriff’s Office, authorities said.

Oops.

Jacque was then arrested and lodged in the county jail on the warrant without bail, pending a court appearance.

Here's the source.

Everyone has to start somewhere. If this is any indicator, and it probably is, a life of crime is not in the cards for these blokes. As reported by BeeNews.com (New York):

The clerk at a gas station on Main Street reported a suspicious white Chevy in the parking lot. A male kept getting out of the vehicle and coming into the store to attempt to sell the clerk drugs. The passenger had been grinding up aspirin on the floor mat and attempting to sell it as cocaine.

Doh!

Let's just hope that this was the culmination of a series of unsuccessful attempts to get the local government's attention on some issue. Why? Because if this was the opening salvo, yikes! As reported by The Burlington Free Press:

Witnesses said they saw a middle-aged woman with short blond hair bring the bloody, dripping raccoon up the steps and angrily whack it against the white double doors on the east side of the building, smearing the doors with blood.

Yikes.

Police said the woman is white, with blond hair and was wearing a green winter hat, a tan coat and blue jeans on Nov. 17 when the incident occurred.

Here's the source, including a picture of the woman provided by the Burlington Police.

This guy could not have made it easier for the police officer to bust him. He just flat-out looked guilty. From pennlive.com:

Cesar Lopez, a 29-year-old Lebanon, Pa., man, was busted Saturday when he walked up to a police officer with a small bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead, according to Lebanon police.

Police said the officer went into a Turkey Hill convenience store on Lehman Street at 3:25 a.m. Saturday and saw Lopez holding a baseball cap and peering inside it. When Lopez approached the officer, he looked up, and the officer said he saw a small plastic bag stuck to Lopez's forehead. The bag appeared to contain marijuana, police said.

The officer retrieved the bag from Lopez’s forehead and said, “Is this what you are looking for?,” according to the police report. Lopez was charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Kind of bizarre, right? Not too.

It is not uncommon for people to hide drugs in the inside lip of a cap, police said.

Here's the source.

Is this guy the worst son of the year? If he's not, he's certainly a nominee, The Juice thinks you'll agree. As reported by wtsp.com:

A concerned neighbor called deputies to the home of Sandra Newkirk and her 45-year-old son Ramey, after Sandra allegedly told the neighbor her son had beaten her.

Responding deputies say they found Sandra's face bruised, but the 65-year-old woman was reluctant to tell investigators what happened, because she claimed her son had threatened to kill her if she told.

Meanwhile Ramey Newkirk claimed his mother got her injuries in a robbery on her porch a week earlier and never reported it because she "did not want to be bothered with it."

Are you sure she didn't fall down the stairs? Walk into a door?

Deputies continued speaking with Sandra, who eventually told them her son did indeed hit her with a glass eggnog bottle about a week earlier. She also claimed Ramey hit her in the head with a metal oxygen tank and was struck several times with a stun gun.

Damn! A bottle, a metal tank, and a stun gun? You're probably wondering why a son would do this to his mama.

After being given his Miranda warning, deputies say he admitted to hitting his mother with a glass bottle. Ramey allegedly said he blacked out and was not sure why he did it.

Guess you'll have to keep wondering. The charges:

Newkirk was arrested and charged with aggravated battery on a person 65 years of age or older. He also faces charges of tampering with a witness and grand theft.

Here's the source, including a mug shot of Mr. Newkirk.

If you have a lot of Facebook "friends", things like this can happen real easily - especially if you're the type to constantly update your whereabouts. It's unlikely this Pennsylvania woman will be quite so forthcoming in the future. As reported by phillyBurbs.com:

A New Jersey man is facing trial in Doylestown for allegedly burglarizing an acquaintance's Wrightstown home after learning that she was on vacation via her Facebook posts.

Newtown district Judge Donald Nasshorn sent the case against Steve Pieczynski, 36, of Lambertville, to Bucks County Court following a preliminary hearing to review the case Monday. 

How'd they catch the "friend"?

Newtown Township police tracked Pieczynski down using a license plate number that suspicious neighbors had taken down, court records show. 

Good things those neighbors weren't busy updating their Facebook pages.

A 13-year-old kid was busted for burping, so says the lawsuit!

Adding insult to injury, the public is now aware of this gent's very own Plaxico Burress moment. But for the reporting law, nobody would have been the wiser. As reported by The Corvallis Gazette-Times:

Ethan Bennett, 36, told Benton County sheriff’s deputies he was at his residence at 24750 Cox Lane in Monroe about 4:15 p.m. Wednesday when he tried to shoot the [squirrel] with a .22-caliber rifle.

The squirrel reportedly ran up his left leg, and he pulled the trigger, hitting himself in the foot.

Doh!

Deputies contacted Bennett at Good Samaritan Regional Medical Center, where he drove himself after the accident. Law enforcement agencies investigate all gunshot wounds admitted to the hospital.

Hospital personnel said Bennett was treated and released.

And if you're worried about the squirrel ...

Capt. Greg Ridler said Bennett did not kill the squirrel.

Whew. Not surprisingly, "Bennett declined to comment about the incident." Here's the source.