Legal Juice

If you're a dog person, and your dog is sick, you're going to be upset. But what if the vet tells you that your dog is fine? This story from The Hamilton Spectator (Ontario) illustrates that sometimes, hell oftentimes, things don't make sense.

Police say the two downtown Hamilton residents took their dog to the vet’s office on Highway 8 in Greensville just after 6 p.m. and – although he and his assistant were closing up and leaving for the night – the vet agreed to open up and examine a growth on the dog’s body.

No good deed goes unpunished ...

When he returned from the examination room a few minutes later and told the couple the growth was nothing to worry about ...

They were ecstatic, right? Nope.

... the woman became very angry and pulled a large knife from her backpack and menaced the doctor and the assistant.

When the assistant tried to call 911, the woman slashed the phone cord with the knife. The man with her then armed himself with a hammer from the backpack but did not raise it in a threat.

WTF is wrong with you people?

Sergeant Terri-Lynn Collings said a cleaner who was in another part of the building heard the commotion and called police.

Admit it. This is getting exciting.

While the cleaner was calling, the vet got between the woman and his assistant, allowing his staff member to scoot out of the room to safety. The doctor then ran out the front door to a neighbour’s home and called 911.

Well done sir. And the perps?

The man and the woman and their dog ran from the office as police began to swarm into the area.

The pair were caught hiding in a nearby yard as the woman was trying to call a cab.

The charges?

The woman, who is 21, from Hamilton, is charged with two counts of assault with a weapon, possession of a dangerous weapon and mischief.

The man, who is 41 and also from Hamilton, is charged with possession of a dangerous weapon.

Crazy. Here's the source.

Honestly, sir, get a life. Don't look at it. Move to the mountains. Read the Constitution. But please, don't waste anyone's time with your complaints about this decal!!!!! As reported by Great Falls Tribune (Montana):

Brian Smith is tired of coming home from work to see what he calls pornography [see above] staring him in the face from across the alley.

Smith, who lives on the 1600 block of 1st Avenue North, said the problem began when he noticed a large decal on the back window of a car in the parking lot of Quality Life Concepts. The decal is a white silhouette of a naked woman.

"To me, this has crossed the line," he said.

What does the decal's owner think?

Offensive or not, Shanna Weaver, who owns the car and decal in question, said it's her right to display the picture.

"It's my freedom of speech, which he can't take away," Weaver said. "It's no different than the mud flaps that you see on trucks."

What do you have to say to that, sir [other than that you want all those mud flaps on trucks across the country removed]?

Smith feels differently. There are certain parts of the body in that silhouette that neither he nor his wife, Louise, like to look at when they pull into their garage directly across from Quality of Life Concepts, where Weaver works — and parks.

"My upbringing dictates that the human body is a sacred thing, not something that should be put on display," Smith said.

Perhaps your upbringing would have been aided with a dose of tolerance. With such disparate views on the subject, could they work this out?

Smith and Weaver confirmed in separate interviews that Smith talked to Weaver about the decal, telling her that he didn't like looking at it and asking if she could back her car into her parking spot or park it somewhere else where the decal didn't face his house. Weaver initially agreed, honoring Smith's request for one day. The next day, the decal was back in Smith's view.

Although The Juice prefers to back in, good for her! But that wasn't the end of it for Mr. Smith.

That's when Smith wondered if he could take his complaint to the police. Smith's point of view is that the sticker on the back of Weaver's car is pornography, and it should be illegal to display it in public.

A police officer dispatched to check out the decal determined that the illustration didn't fit the city or state's statute defining obscenity. The legal spat between Smith and Weaver never made it past a complaint with the Great Falls Police Department ...

You can read more (a lot) here.

Truth be told, The Juice isn't a Kohl's guy either. But some people get really excited about shopping there ...

A man from Oconomowoc, accused of fondling himself in a department store, was charged Monday with one count of Lewd and Lascivious Behavior.

According to the criminal complaint, Daniel Wagner, 38, was seen masturbating in a Kohl's Department store on St. Paul Ave. in April.

Wagner was also charged with Disorderly Conduct. If convicted, he faces up to a year in prison.

(The above is from a report by Wisconsin station TMJ4 at todaystmj4.com.)

What do you do when your live-in girlfriend comes home early, and your Craigslist date arrives at the door? Perhaps it shouldn't be all that surprising that a two-timer, when caught in a situation like this, wouldn't just come clean. As reported by The Gazette (Colorado Springs):

Five Colorado Spring police officers sped to the aid a man and his girlfriend early Wednesday who pleaded for help from a person outside his house supposedly wielding a gun.

All they found was his “other woman.”

Really? Who would think that would work? Well ...

Police suspect the frenzied rush came when Keith Gaylor, 24, called 911 to convince his girlfriend that the woman at his door was a burglar and not his date.

Gaylor met the “other woman” on Craigslist and agreed to meet her at his home in the 4900 block of Picturesque Circle, according to the Colorado Springs Police Department.

Gaylor’s plan met a hitch, however, when his live-in girlfriend arrived home unexpectedly, police said.

While his date knocked on the door shortly after 3 a.m., Gaylor called 911 and reported that a person was trying to break down the door, police said. Gaylor added the woman had a gun — prompting five officers to speed to his home.

Hmm. 3 a.m.? Not your typical dating hour.

Police immediately detained the supposed burglar, but soon let her go free.

As for Mr. Gaylor ...

Officers served Gaylor a summons for false reporting to authorities, a misdemeanor.

Not so good under pressure, that one. Here's the source.

Nation, you've probably heard this expression before: "I may not agree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Fuhgettaboutit. Not in these times. Reinforcing that notion, as reported by wkrn.com ...

A Nashville man says he and his 10-year-old daughter were victims of road rage Thursday afternoon, all because of a political bumper sticker on his car.

Give me an "O" ..

He said Harry Weisiger gave him the bird and rammed into his vehicle, after noticing an Obama-Biden sticker on his car bumper.

Duren had just picked up his 10-year-old daughter from school and had her in the car with him.

"He pointed at the back of my car," Duren said, "the bumper, flipped me off, one finger salute."

But it didn't end there.

Duren told News 2 that Weisiger honked his horn at him for awhile, as Duren stopped at a stop sign.

Once he started driving again, down Blair Boulevard, towards his home, he said, "I looked in the rear view mirror again, and this same SUV was speeding, flying up behind me, bumped me."

Duren said he applied his brake and the SUV smashed into the back of his car. He then put his car in park to take care of the accident, but Weisiger started pushing the car using his SUV.

Duren said, "He pushed my car up towards the sidewalk, almost onto the sidewalk."

Damn!

Police say Harry Weisiger is charged with felony reckless endangerment in the incident.

Here's the source.

Do you think you would wake up while someone was setting your pants on fire? This gent didn't. As reported by nj.com:

A 47-year-old Trenton man suffered burns to his leg when his pants were set on fire last night after he fell asleep on the front porch of his home, police said.

The man awoke around 9 p.m. on the 1200 block of East State Street to find his pant leg on fire, police said.

Is The Juice the only one who thinks this guy was shitfaced?

The man was taken to the hospital and treated for second-degree burns to his calf.

The man told police no one was in the area when he awoke and no suspects have been identified. The case remains under investigation.

Here's the source.

Or else what? If you don't follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), Kenny gets it.

And don't forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

Sorry to break the news (okay, not exactly "break"), but you know that flute part of the song that goes "I come from the land down under..."? It was cribbed! And that's final! Per theaustralian.com:

The High Court denied the band's bid to appeal a federal court judge's earlier ruling that the group had copied the signature flute melody of Down Under from the children's classic Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree.

Kookaburra was written more than 70 years ago by Australian teacher Marion Sinclair for a Girl Guides competition. The song went on to become a favorite around campfires from New Zealand to Canada. The wildly popular Down Under remains an unofficial Australian anthem.

How big of a hit was the song?

Down Under and the album it was on, Business As Usual, reached No. 1 on the Australian, American and British charts in early 1983. That year, Men at Work won the Grammy Award for Best New Artist.

So what did the court award?

The judge later ordered Men at Work's recording company, EMI Songs Australia, and Down Under songwriters Colin Hay and Ron Strykert to pay fove per cent of royalties earned from the song since 2002 and from its future earnings.

Probably some serious coin. You can read more here.

Seriously - if you're name has 30 characters, it's time for a change of some sort. This doctor will make that decision quite simple, as his real offenses include some egregious conduct. As reported at walesonline.com:

A trainee gynecologist squeezed a patient’s bottom, kissed a colleague’s breast over her tunic and told a woman an examination would be “the most pleasurable experience” of her life, a disciplinary panel has ruled.

His name?

Dr. Priyantha Perera Kandanearachchi ...

Shazam!

... who worked for Cardiff and Abertawe Bro Morgannwg health boards, denied telling the patient the procedure would be intensely pleasurable during an examination in October 2008.

He also denied squeezing a patient’s bottom in February 2010 and putting his mouth to a colleague’s breast in July of last year while working at the Princess of Wales Hospital, in Bridgend.

But a General Medical Council (GMC) disciplinary hearing sitting in Manchester today ruled the allegations against the medic were proven.

The doc is waiting to see if he'll be allowed to continue practicing medicine. Hopefully not. Here's the source.

If your cash haul is only a quarter, it's just petty theft, right? Well, it depends ... on what the quarter was in. As reported by The Gainesville Sun:

A Gainesville woman was taken to jail Monday after being charged with helping to steal an $800 cash register.Inside the cash register was a quarter, police said.

Doh! And to get the cash register, they broke a window in the front door! You can read more here.

The Route 66 Kitchen in Toledo is apparently the place to be ... if you like out-of-control gunfights. Check out the security video below. Incredibly with all those people shooting at each other (police believe at least 20 shots were fired), nobody was hurt!

Unfortunately The Juice doesn't have the surveillance video yet. Anyone? Anyway, suffice it to say that a Florida woman was not pleased with a woman she believes slept with her boyfriend. Check out how she displayed her displeasure, as reported by The Gainesville Sun.

According to the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office, the incident happened inside the store at 5200 NE Waldo Road, where a woman was working as a clerk. Deputies said a 23-year-old woman entered the store and began cussing at the clerk and asking her highly personal questions.

Based on witness statements and a surveillance video, deputies said the woman apparently was angry because she was involved in a sexual relationship with a man who also had been in a relationship with the clerk.

And she showed how angry she was by ...

When the clerk declined to answer the questions, the woman opened a bag of used condoms and dumped them onto the counter, sheriff’s spokesman Sgt. Todd Kelly said.

Um, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

“Next she pulled her shorts down and lifted her shirt, which fully exposed her to the clerk — and the camera,” Kelly said. The woman left the store but returned shortly after and threw a condom that hit the clerk, deputies said.

Yikes!

The Sheriff’s Office filed a sworn complaint against the woman, accusing her of battery and indecent exposure. A sworn complaint means the case has been forwarded to the State Attorney’s Office before an arrest is made.

Kelly said the store had to stop making sales for a short time so that the contaminated counter could be thoroughly cleaned.

Nasty. Here's the source.

Have you ever had to go to the bathroom so badly that you couldn't make it from the bar to the bathroom? Yeah, neither has The Juice. One Adolfo Mosmann would answer differently. Or, if he could make it to the bathroom, he decided not to make the trip. As succinctly stated by the sorority girls in Animal House, ewwwwww! Per The Orlando Sentinel ...

Adolfo Mosmann, 24, who is from Brazil and in the U.S. on a student visa, was arrested about 1:15 a.m. Monday.

An off-duty Orange County Sheriff's Office deputy who was working security at the [House of Blues] in the 1400 block of East Buena Vista Drive noted in an incident report that Mosmann was caught urinating in the cups and placing them on the bar, where other people were drinking, even though bathroom facilities were nearby.

The security guy must have been ... pissed.

[Mr. Mosmann] was thrown out of the club about 11:45 p.m. Sunday and told not to return, documents show.

And of course a guy who urinates in cups at the bar is going to do as he is told ...

An employee and another witness later saw Mosmann return to the club in Downtown Disney Westside. He was wearing a different shirt.

A different shirt? Brilliant!

Mosmann, who has a Jacksonville address, was described in an Orange County sheriff's report as "intoxicated."

He then was arrested on a trespassing charge.

Sadly, this bender may cost Mr. Mosmann A LOT. Why?

Rosters show that Mosmann has played soccer on college teams at Jackson Community College in Michigan and University of South Florida.

It is unclear whether his student visa is in danger because of his arrest.

"While I cannot comment on the specifics of this case, convictions for some criminal offenses can result in the revocation of student visas," said Dani Bennett, a spokeswoman for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. "If a student visa is revoked, the individual may request reconsideration of the revocation."

Where is he now? Hopefully taking a break from the bar scene.

There is certainly a lot of racial profiling in the United States. But this ain't Kuwait. As reported by Arab Times:

Police arrested an Asian expatriate for selling male and female sex toys plus drugs for sexual enhancement in Salmiya area.
 Sources said the man was spotted by police with a bag while he was walking along the street, so they asked him to stop for checking and found the aforementioned items. Additional KD 200 cash, believed to be proceeds from the trade, was also recovered. The culprit has since been taken to the concerned authority for necessary action.

If this is any indication, clearly probable cause is not an issue in Kuwait. The Juice isn't judging, he's just saying ... that he likes probable cause.

As you'll soon see, this fella has an appetite for dollar stores, and ice cream sandwiches. As reported by tcpalm.com:

32-year-old Robert Silvia, was arrested Oct. 12 after an assistant manager at a Family Dollar saw a man take "an ice cream sandwich from the front of his pants" and start eating it, a recently released Fort Pierce police report states.

The assistant manager said the man came in the store in the 700 block of South U.S. 1 in Fort Pierce and went to the cooler. The man took something, and left without paying.

"She watched him as he walked across the street to the Dollar Tree store, as he walked he removed an ice cream sandwich from the front of his pants and began eating it," the report states. "He then entered the Dollar Tree and came out a few minutes later with a drink and then began to walk west on Georgia Ave."

From the Family Dollar to the Dollar Tree to ... the pokey? Yup. The man admitted to lifting the $1.00 ice cream sandwich, and apologized. To no avail. The assistant manager wanted to press charges. You can see the arrest report and the mug shot by clicking here.

This one sounds like something out of a movie. Just when you think, okay, that has to be it, the dude keeps it going. It all started with a call to the Wyoming Highway Patrol reporting a man driving erratically. Per The Kemmerer Gazette:

The first caller advised the patrol dispatcher that a white car was swerving all over the highway and had run off the road. The driver of the white car was out of the car and was running back and forth across the roadway in front of traffic. The dispatch center began getting multiple calls from motorists advising that the white male driver of the ... vehicle was standing out in the roadway and was wearing no clothes.

Drunk or crazy guy swerving, running off the road, streaking ...

Approximately four minutes later, calls were received that advised the naked man, later identified as 26-year-old Armondo Cano from Moroni, Utah, was now fighting with another man. Cano eventually re-entered his vehicle and headed eastbound on the Interstate once again.

Naked fighting man, now naked driving man ...

Approximately 17 miles later Cano intentionally rammed another eastbound vehicle occupied by a couple from Cheyenne.

Dude! Really?

When both vehicles stopped Cano, still unclothed, attempted to enter the couple's vehicle. Seeing the crash and unaware of what was really happening, a female passerby stopped to offer assistance.

Uh-oh

Cano forced his way into her vehicle climbing into the back seat as the female driver fled her vehicle on foot.

Smart gal. So that's it? Nope.

Cano found a 9mm semi-automatic handgun in the female's vehicle and began firing it from inside the vehicle out the closed windows. At this time it is unclear how many rounds he fired or exactly what or who he was shooting at.

Once the shooting began the Cheyenne couple [who he'd rammed] attempted to drive away from the scene however Cano, who was now back in his own vehicle, chased after them and rammed them once again.

Reminds The Juice of "The Hitcher" ...

Cano, still in possession of the semi-automatic firearm, traveled approximately 3 miles further down the road where he stopped, exited his vehicle and then lay in the highway with the handgun.

Dude has to be gassed by now, right? Um, not yet.

Several truck drivers and motorists stopped and Cano, with a pipe, began breaking out the glass windows in an unknown number of trucks. One truck driver was cut however it is unknown haw badly he was cut or by what.

Help, police!

At this point, one Trooper arrived on scene and attempted to take Cano in to custody. A struggle began between Cano and the Trooper. The Trooper was assisted by several of the truck drivers in wrestling Cano to the ground. A Sweetwater County Sheriff s Deputy arrived moments later and the individuals were able to gain control of Cano which enabled the officers to handcuff him.

So what happened to Mr. Cano?

[He] is currently being held on an emergency detention and has not been charged ... but does face numerous felony charges.

The Juice needs to take a breather. That was one helluva rampage. Here's the source.

Seriously, you won't believe what this man claims he found in his cereal. Warning: DO NOT READ THIS WITHIN ONE HOUR OF EATING. As reported by The Telegraph (Macon, Georgia):

An Upson County man and his wife have filed a federal suit against a grocery store chain and cereal manufacturer, contending that the man found a used tampon in a bowl of cereal.

If you didn't just about hurl, what is wrong with you?

In the complaint, Thomas and Lynn Roddenberry said they bought a box of Chocolate Chip Crunch cereal from the Save-A-Lot store at 1021 N. U.S. 19 in Thomaston on Oct. 23, 2008.

The following day, Thomas Roddenberry opened the cereal box and poured cereal and milk into a bowl. After taking a bite, Roddenberry said he discovered the tampon in his bowl, according to the suit, filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Macon.

Roddenberry said he spit out the milk and cereal and became nauseated almost immediately. He went to an emergency room for treatment, according to the complaint.

The seal for the cereal box and the plastic bag containing the cereal showed no signs of having been broken by anyone previously.

Roddenberry sustained physical injuries “from the adulterated food” as well as emotional worry, according to the lawsuit.

The Roddenberrys are seeking unspecified general and special damages, as well as court costs.

Chon Tomlin, a Save-A-Lot spokesperson, declined to comment Friday, citing pending litigation.

A representative of Ralston Foods, the cereal manufacturer, also declined to comment in a phone message.

Now that is one bizarre, gross case. Here's the source.

How often do you think to yourself "I love work so much, I wish I never had to go home"? Me too. Still, how far would you go to get off of work early? Would you, say, start a fire in your office? How about turning off the breaker for the entire office building? How about rigging the phones so that there would be no incoming calls? Sounds crazy, right? Check this out, as reported by the St. Petersburg Times:

Pasco sheriff's investigators said Michelle Perrino, 40, started a fire at Bayonet Point Oxygen on May 12, 2009. Perrino drew suspicion when she mentioned the fire's origin — a filing cabinet — during an employee meeting. Employees had not been told where the fire started.

Filing cabinet? No, I didn't say "filing cabinet." I said "hire a rabit." You know, rabbits are fast, and they're so cute ...

[The] Sheriff's reports also quoted Perrino's friend, who said she told him she also tripped the main breaker for the office building so it would lose power and adjusted the phones so no calls could come in, all so she would be sent home from work early with pay.

So what happened to Ms. Perrino?

[She] pleaded guilty Monday to criminal mischief and was sentenced to nine months in jail, followed by five years of probation. She must also pay $4,800 in restitution and have no contact with Bayonet Point Oxygen or its employees.

Works for The Juice.

It might be tempting to simply chalk this one up to bad timing, but the dude tried to steal the hottest item in the world on the first day it was available! As reported by WDRB (Louisville, KY)

According to an arrest report, on Thursday afternoon, 21-year-old Raylon J. Brooks an employee of UPS, removed an iPhone -- worth $649 -- from a shipping pallet and hid it inside his boot, then tried to walk out of the building with it.

But it didn't quite work out as he planned.

How could this ingenious plan have failed?

"UPS did a random audit today, and as employees were leaving, they made them take their shoes off," the arrest report states.

Random my arse.

Police say that, when Brooks took his boots off, the iPhone fell out.

Brooks allegedly admitted to stealing the iPhone and gave a written statement. He was arrested and charged with theft.

Given the available choices: (1) What? How'd that get in there? (2) No hablo Ingles. (3) I was just checking to make sure the facility is secure. (4) Okay, you got me... - It's hard to give the guy too much credit for fessin' up. Here's the source.

As a personal injury lawyer himself, The Juice has heard many stories about behavior before, during and after car accidents.
This one, though, takes the cake. As reported by The Union Leader (New Hampshire):

Jared D. Hooper, 21, of 26 Partridge Lane, was arrested after police responded to the area of Garden and Westville roads around 6:30 p.m. to investigate the accident involving Hooper and another vehicle.

Arrested for what was described as a "minor" car accident? Hmm.

Deputy Police Chief Kathleen Jones said Hooper struck the other vehicle and then got out of his car and ran over to yell at the female driver.

Not cool, but ... wait for it ...

“He started smashing on the window and was yelling at her. Then he stopped and took off all of his clothing,” Jones said.

Bam!

“When officers got there he was standing there naked. He was still screaming. He had absolutely nothing on. This was definitely an unusual occurrence” said Jones...

As for the obvious question ...

Contacted at his home Wednesday night, Hooper said he couldn’t comment on the accident or the reasons why he took off his clothes.

“Unfortunately I can’t respond to questions. I have nothing to say,” he said.

The crime?

Hooper was charged with driving while intoxicated, and with disorderly conduct, lewd behavior and criminal threatening.

Here's the source, which includes a photo of Mr. Hooper.

Let's say your neighbor has a trailer in the parking lot with a bunch of furniture in it. You're tired of looking at it, but what to do? In a word ... Craigslist! Yeah, sure, technically (and in ever other way) it's not yours. Carpe diem, right Ms. Kimball? Per the Tampa Tribune:

The 29-year-old resident of Chelsea Meadows apartments got sick of looking at a trailer loaded with furniture in the complex parking lot, Pasco County deputies say.

So she took matters into her own hands by taking a picture of it and posting an advertisement on Craigslist, deputies say.

I doubt Craig was pleased.

"Come get this trailer, attach it to your car and get it out of here," it read. "I'm tired of looking at it, and I have no idea what to do with it. You must take couches and dresser too either keep them or dispose of them, just get them out of here! Thank you! No need to email or call just come get it," it stated. The ad continued with specific directions to the complex. "The trailer is sitting in the parking lot ready to be attached to the car and take. I will delete this post when it is gone. Thank you!"

And?

[The trailer owner's fiancee - actually it belongs to his dad] Jennifer Lepage, ... was home when someone knocked on the door looking for the free trailer. She said it wasn't free and looked outside and saw it had vanished, Andrews said.

Snap! And Ms. Kimball almost pulled it off.

At some point, another person came over looking for the freebie and had the printed advertisement in hand and waited for deputies to arrive.

"If he had not had printed it out, I would have had no way of proving to the deputy that it was on Craigslist because by that time it had been deleted," Andrews said.

The charges?

... deputies arrested Vanessa Kimball, 29, on a charge of grand theft.

The trailer? The furniture? ...

By the next day, according to a sheriff's office report ... the [now damaged] trailer reappeared - still loaded with the furniture - at the end of the complex's driveway ...

Click here for the source.

Dude didn't say that, but he might has well have, given the way he presented himself. As reported by the Hunterdon County Democrat (New Jersey) at nj.com:

Police gave the following report:

A man called police from the Hess gas station on Route 31 north on Wednesday, Oct. 5 at about 7:50 p.m., reporting the situation and noting that he was unable to wake the driver.

So being tired is a crime? No, but ...

Patrolman Lawrence Anthes found Daniel Wilson, 36, of Frenchtown asleep in the van, which was still running and had been parked at the gas pumps for about one hour.

Anthes also tried to wake Wilson but initially could not, police said. The patrolman saw that the van’s passenger-side rear tire was gone and that the vehicle had been driven on the rim. The patrolman reached into the vehicle, turned it off, and then physically shook Wilson awake.

Wilson, who had the odor of alcohol on his breath, was removed from the vehicle and arrested after the patrolman determined that he was intoxicated. The minivan was towed from the scene and impounded.

Um ... sorry? Here's the source.

This information was on a need-to-know basis. Clearly, this was not something the officer needed to know. As reported in The Highline Times (Washington State):

Suspicious vehicle

An officer contacted and identified a suspicious subject parked behind the Normandy Park Athletic Club in the 19900 block of 1st Ave. S. The subject admitted to the officer that he had planned to urinate behind the building. The subject was warned and released.

Say what? Released to drive home drunk? (Although it's not certain he was drunk, he makes a pretty case for it.)

There's an old saying:"If it seems too good to be true, it is." There's another old saying: "There's an exception to every rule." Here's an exception, as reported by Reuters:

Standing in the aptly chosen "Frohsinnstrasse" ("Cheerfulness Street") in the town of Aschaffenburg, the unnamed pensioner wore a sign around his neck explaining his philanthropy: "I am not unemployed or homeless. I have a wife. I am well. That's why I'd like to give you a euro."

A passer-by who feared the pensioner was running a scam alerted police, who were surprised at the man's explanation that he merely wanted to share his happiness at retiring.

[Note: The passer-by also enjoys hunting golden-egg-laying geese.]

After explaining himself, the pensioner was allowed to continue his generous retirement celebrations, because after all there's no law against giving away your own money to passing strangers, according to local police.

Really? There's no law against just giving money away money? Shocking. Here's the source.

A handcuffed man (behind the back!) escapes from your patrol car, and you're going to include a charge of stealing handcuffs? Are you sure that's a part of the case you really want to highlight? Pick one: "Fugitive escapes!" or "Handcuffed fugitive in back of patrol car escapes, and steals $29 handcuffs that are supposed to be restraining him, under the nose of the officer who should be watching him." As reported by The Daily News (Washington State):

A DOC officer arrested Eric Mitchell Lair on a felony warrant Oct. 1, according to a Longview police report. On the way to Cowlitz County jail, "Lair was able to open the back of (an) unmarked DOC caged vehicle and flee," the report said.

"Lair was handcuffed behind his back at the time of escape," the report said. Officers from multiple agencies conducted an "extensive search" of the area, but couldn't find Lair.

On Thursday, a Superior Court judge issued a warrant for Lair's arrest on suspicion of first-degree escape.

Police also noted that the handcuffs Lair escaped with are valued at $29 and requested he be charged with third-degree theft.

Not the handcuffs! Cut your losses! HT: The Daily News.

In this case from Australia, two 20-year-old men, Robert Karaca and Jarred Royce Price, were charged with attempted murder. Their “victim” was a 32-year-old friend of theirs named Bruce Levin, who was intent on killing himself, and convinced them to help.

Levin spoke of overdosing on sleeping tablets. If that failed, he wanted to be hit on the back of the head with a steel bar. Oh, and he threw in more than $5,000. (That’d be a little less than $5,000 U.S., but, still, nothing that a couple of broke 20-year-olds would scoff at.)

When Levin’s sleeping pills appeared not to work, Karaca couldn’t bring himself to hit Levin with the pole, so Price was asked to do it. Apparently, Levin thanked them profusely before he was hit, then suddenly had a change of heart – after he was hit twice. He laid still and played dead to avoid being hit again.

Thinking Levin was dead, his pals took off. A bloodied Levin got his wounds stitched at the hospital. A remorseful Karaca told the police what they had done.

So, what happened to them?

Continue reading "If The Sleeping Pills Don't Kill Me, Please Hit Me On The Head With A Pole - And Here's $5k For Your Troubles" »

Admit it. You've occasionally had one too many. But perhaps not as many as a San Diego, California man recently did, as reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune.

A Pacific Beach man had a surprise waiting for him in his living room Sunday morning: a stranger sleeping naked on his couch.

And just in case you need another reason to lock your doors ...

The naked man had mistakenly arrived at the condominium after a night of drinking, inexplicably took off his clothes on the porch and entered the unlocked front door, San Diego Police Lt. Jim Filley said.

After discovering the disrobed interloper around 7:30 a.m., the homeowner went back upstairs to his bedroom, armed himself and told his wife to call 911, Filley said.

“This gentleman thought he had been walking into his own home, which is in Mission Valley” nearly 20 miles away, the officer said. “We think it was an honest mistake.”

The homeowner declined to press trespassing charges against the intruder.

“He was sober, so he got dressed and went on his way,” Filley said.

Here The Juice was getting ready to holler about getting a gun out to deal with a naked guy, and the gunslinger goes and does the right thing. Well done, sir.

Now that is an interesting question, and not an academic one, for identical twins Gavin and Rhys Higgins, and for the alleged victim, Darryl Churchill. Per the Daily Mail:

Darryl Churchill had claimed that one of the twins set upon him after a dispute over a game of pool which he had refereed.

He told the court he was 'punched and kicked' and needed an operation to fix his nose after the alleged attack, but could not tell which brother was responsible because they look so alike.

And this went to trial why? Was the Cardiff Crown Court Judge supposed to flip a coin? Shockingly, the Higgins brothers ...

... walked free today after a jury took less than a hour to acquit them over [the] rugby club altercation.

The jubilant pair were found not guilty of one charge each of assault causing actual bodily harm at a birthday party at their local rugby club.

What did the brothers have to say after the verdict?

Gavin said: 'Me and my brother always seem to get dragged into trouble because we look alike. People are always mixing us up.

Um, okay. So that would mean one of you gets into trouble, and you both get "dragged" into it because it's uncertain which one of you caused the trouble? Hmmm. That sounds familiar ... Here's the source, with photos of the brothers.

You're out for a bike ride, with a backpack full of tools. Is that a crime? Apparently it can be. As reported by The St. Petersburg Times:

Kurtis Martin was riding his bicycle Sunday night with no headlight, in an area hit by recent burglaries, with an open backpack full of tools, Pasco deputies said.

When a deputy pulled Martin over, he found the backpack contained several screwdrivers, a claw hammer, pliers, wire cutters and a machete, according to a Pasco County Sheriff's Office report. The deputy asked what the tools were for.

You have to give this man credit for being honest, some of which you can deduct for failing to know about his right to not incriminate himself.

"I hadn't stolen anything tonight," replied Martin, according to the report. "I had the tools with me in case the opportunity arose. I was only scouting the area."

Doh!

Martin, 36, of Lacoochee, was arrested on suspicion of possessing burglary tools. He remained in the county jail Monday afternoon in lieu of $5,000 bail.

Not being a criminal lawyer, The Juice did not know this was a crime. Did you? Here's the source.

The "Brown 'N Serve" sausages were 98 cents in the aisle, but rang up at $1.00. When it happened the second time, consumer activist Mary Bach resorted to a familiar remedy - court. Wal-Mart said the overcharge was a mistake. What did the judge say? Per The Tribune-Review:

Murrysville District Judge Charles Conway sided with Bach in her civil lawsuit alleging unfair trade practices. He awarded Bach $100 in damages, plus about $80 in court costs.

Said a victorious Bach:

"Wal-Mart abandoned an earlier chainwide practice of offering scanner guarantees -- for no explainable reason -- and they also appear not to be following established store procedures for correcting scanner errors when customers report them. This also was occurring at two other stores, in Greensburg and North Versailles." Wal-Mart has 30 days to appeal to Common Pleas Court.

You can read more (a lot) here.

You will be not be surprised to learn that Mr. William Ernst (who owns a bunch of convenience stores called QC Mart) was known by some as the "boss from hell." A recent brainstorm to make the case? How about a memo titled “New Contest – Guess The Next Cashier Who Will Be Fired!!!"? As reported by The Des Moines Register, here's what the memo said:

“
To win our game, write on a piece of paper the name of the next cashier you believe will be fired. Write their name [the person who will be fired], today’s date, today’s time, and your name. Seal it in an envelope and give it to the manager to put in my envelope.

“Here’s how the game will work: We are doubling our secret-shopper efforts, and your store will be visited during the day and at night several times a week. Secret shoppers will be looking for cashiers wearing a hat, talking on a cell phone, not wearing a QC Mart shirt, having someone hanging around/behind the counter, and/or a personal car parked by the pumps after 7 p.m., among other things.

“If the name in your envelope has the right answer, you will win $10 CASH. Only one winner per firing unless there are multiple right answers with the exact same name, date, and time. Once we fire the person, we will open all the envelopes, award the prize, and start the contest again.

“And no fair picking Mike Miller from (the Rockingham Road store). He was fired at around 11:30 a.m. today for wearing a hat and talking on his cell phone. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!”

As a result of this wonderful team-building contest, several workers quit. When they sought unemployment, the boss fought it and ... lost!

Administrative Law Judge Susan D. Ackerman sided with the workers, calling the contest “egregious and deplorable.” Shelsky was awarded unemployment benefits.

“The employer’s actions have clearly created a hostile work environment by suggesting its employees turn on each other for a minimal monetary prize,” Ackerman ruled. “This was an intolerable and detrimental work environment.”

That'll probably be the end of the contests, at least for a little while. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Yes, folks, this bird is protected by the Constitution, as the City of Pittsburgh learned the hard way. Back in 2006, David Hackbart (of Butler, Pennsylvania) flipped off a cop, and got a disorderly conduct citation. He fought it, hard. Per the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

Pittsburgh City Council initially approved today a $50,000 settlement for a lawsuit filed by a Butler County man who gave the middle finger to a motorist and a police officer in 2006.

The officer cited him for disorderly conduct. The county eventually dropped the charge, but Hackbart sued to recover the cost of defending himself. U.S. District Judge David S. Cercone ruled in March that the officer violated Hackbart's First Amendment right to free speech.

You can read more bird-flipping stories here, here, here, and here

Nobody likes packing for a move. A Florida family, though, would be thrilled to pack. The problem is, there's virtually nothing to pack. Why? As reported by nbc-2.com:

Denisse Velez was out of town looking for a new place to live when burglars pulled a truck up to her house and stole nearly everything from her home ...

What does "nearly everything" include?

...the family's electronics, furniture, tools, kitchen appliances [including the a/c unit and air-handler], washer and dryer, all the children's clothing and toys – even their bicycles.

Children's toys and clothes? How do you do that? Here's the sadly ironic reason nobody was home during the burglary:

Two weeks ago, the mother of 7 decided she didn't want to live in her neighborhood anymore because of all the crime in the area. She went to Tampa looking for a new place to live.

Here's the source, including a news video about the incident.