Legal Juice

Maybe, maybe when the police find a body, they miss a small stab wound. But, and this a big "but," what if the knife is still in the body? Could they miss it? Yup. As reported in The Medway Messenger:

Police failed to spot a dead pensioner had been murdered - until undertakers found a knife in his back, an inquest heard.

Officers were called to the home of Antoine Denis, in New Road, Chatham, after neighbours raised the alarm.

The 66-year-old was pronounced dead by a police nurse when he was found slumped on his bedroom floor.

But an inquest was told the weapon and a stab wound were only found by undertakers as they prepared to move his body on January 9.

DC [Detective Constable] Linda Robb told coroner Roger Sykes the knife was missed because it was dark in the flat and Mr Denis was lying on his back.

What, you expected the police officer to turn the body over? Don't be ridiculous.

Recording a verdict of unlawful killing, Mr Sykes said Mr Denis had died from a single stab wound, which penetrated his lung due to "the unlawful act of a person whose identity has not yet been established".

The perp? Still at large.

Kim Albone, of Luton Road, Chatham, was charged with murder on January 21, but was later released after a decision by the Crown Prosecution Service. Officers are still hunting Mr Denis' killer.

Here's the source.

This is just gross - really, really gross. A guy broke into two separate cars and, well, you'll have to hear it from The Star-Ledger (via nj.com):

Twice in one night, a burglar entered cars in Carteret, ransacked the vehicles and then defecated inside, according to police.

How would you like to be the police officer who catches this case? "Yeah, we'll need some of that for DNA testing."

On Tuesday night, an intruder entered a 2005 Chrysler Pacifica parked on Park Avenue, grabbed a GPS unit, and before leaving, relieved himself on the backseat, police said.

The same night somebody entered a 2007 Toyota Camry parked on George Street. Nothing was taken, but the burglar also relieved himself on the rear seat, authorities said.

Not cool, dude. Not cool. (It reminds The Juice of a certain Seinfeld episode.)

To look at this 79-year-old gentleman, you wouldn't think that he's capable of what he's been charged with. As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

According to an arrest report, the alleged victim was pulling out of his driveway in the 9800 block of Fairmount Road, just west of Old Bardstown Road, when James W. Handy [age 79] threw coffee on him through his open car window.

Not cool. But wait.

The victim quickly stopped his car and got out, "to ask what the problem was." Police say Handy quickly replied by smashing the coffee mug against the man's head. Handy then allegedly cut up the victim's arm with the broken handle.

Okay. There has got to be some serious history between these two.

When police asked Handy why he did it, he allegedly told them that, "he owed it to him" and that the victim "was staring at him."

Police say Handy added that he would do it again, too, if the victim "looked at him."

Perhaps that's setting the bar a little low for a beat down?

Handy was arrested and charged with second-degree assault.

Here's the source.

After getting sentenced to 10 years for robbery, like Mr. Taylor, I'm sure you wouldn't be in the best mood either. Still, you better be prepared to pay the price if you lay into the judge, as Mr. Taylor did. Here are excerpts from the decision by the Superior Court of New Jersey, Appellate Division:

Defendant appeals from his conviction for second-degree robbery ... his sentence on that charge, and the imposition of two consecutive six-month sentences for contempt ...

Did someone say "contempt"?

When the court asked defendant if he understood his appeal rights, defendant responded by stating, "Yeah, I understand that you all railroaded the shit out of me. That's what I understand."

Uh-oh.

Although his attorney attempted to calm him down and the court attempted to resume asking him if he understood his right to appeal, defendant persisted in confrontational behavior, stating, "you're all — so full of shit." The court warned defendant that he would impose an additional six months for contempt of court. Defendant was defiant, stating, "Add six. What the fuck I care now."

This reminds The Juice of a truly classic, early Juice post ...

The court warned defendant again about imposing six months for contempt. Defendant replied, and repeated, "Fuck contempt of court." Both his attorney and a court officer attempted to calm defendant down. The court said, "I'm going to give you one opportunity —" but defendant interrupted, "Give me — give me — don't give me shit, mother fucker. Do what the fuck you've been doing to every black mother fucker that come in this courtroom."

Defendant continued to interrupt the court, repeating, "Fuck you" three times, calling the judge a "crazy ass mother fucker," telling him, "Eat shit and bark at the moon, sorry son of a bitch." When the judge said he was going to place on the record his reasons for imposing an additional six month sentence, defendant interrupted again, stating "[i]s that all you're going to put on it, the six months?" He continued to interrupt and taunt the court, saying, "Keep adding six months then" and "well shut the fuck up and do . . . what you're going to do."

Yikes.

The court proceeded to set forth the acts it deemed contumacious as the basis for imposing an additional sentence of six months. Defendant continued to interrupt. The court noted further that this exchange occurred in a courtroom filled with fifty people.

After the court ordered defendant to be remanded, defendant replied, "Fuck you, bitch" and then stated "Suck my ass, you cracker bitch." The court had him returned to counsel table and imposed an additional six months for contempt, to be served consecutive to the prior sentences. After remanding defendant once again, the court noted that defendant "held up his left hand with the middle finger extended in a gesture[.]"

So how do you think the appellate court ruled? Affirmed. The case is STATE v. TAYLOR, No. A-3326-09T2, Superior Court of New Jersey, Appellate Division. (August 24, 2011). You can read the opinion on Leagle here.

This much is certain: the attorney asking the question needs to get out more. Not so for the responding attorney. From an actual case...

NTERROGATORY NO. 16: Please describe how “beer pong” is played, including the needed equipment and/or materials.

RESPONSE TO INTERROGATORY NO. 16: Defendants object to this Request as vague, ambiguous, overly broad, unduly burdensome, and not reasonably calculated to lead to discovery of admissible evidence. Subject to and without waiving the foregoing objections, Defendants state that the term “beer pong” appears to refer or relate to at least two different activities, each of which require different equipment and/or materials, and both of which are subject to substantially varying “house rules,” depending on the players and/or location of the specific instance of the activity.

Defendants further provide the following information, available from www.wikipedia.org, catalogued under the title, “Beer pong”. In providing this response, Defendants do not vouch for the veracity, accuracy, or validity of the information contained within the online resource www.wikipedia.org. ; Neither do Defendants claim the response as their own, but have merely provided the information to respond to this Interrogatory to the best of their ability based on diligent research and investigation:

Setup

1. Teams

Beer pong is usually played with two teams of two players each, though it can be played with two teams of one person each, or other numbers of players. Each team begins the game standing at either end of the table behind their rack of cups.

2. Playing field

Although the game is typically played on either a ping pong table or a folding banquet table, enthusiasts may create a personalized table for use by friends and visitors. In general, this will be a plywood board cut to proper size, sometimes painted with sports, school, or fraternity symbols and given a liquid-proof coating. Some companies sell tables, and there are companies making portable or inflatable tables. The game can be played on any flat surface, such as a door or dining table.

3. Equipment

The most common cups used are 16 ounce disposable plastic cups (such as red Solo cups) with ridge-lines which can be used precisely to measure the amount of beer to be poured into the cup. On each side of the table, teams assemble equilateral triangles, with a convergence point focusing on the other team. Games typically use either six, ten, or twelve cups. Each team usually has a separate cup of water as well, used to rinse off the ball.

38 mm or 40 mm table tennis (ping pong) balls are typically used for game play.

This diagram illustrates a standard set up for a game of Beirut, with either 6 or 10 cups being used.

4. Alcohol

An inexpensive pale lager or light beer of 3.2–5% ABV is sometimes preferred because of the large quantities of beer which may be consumed during the course of several games. For non-drinkers, the game may be played without beer, as is done at Utah State University, where alcohol is not allowed on campus—root beer is used instead. The game may also be played with water instead of beer, or with cups full of water that players do not drink from, instead using another cup of beer or alcohol. Water pong has been banned at some freshman Dartmouth dorms due to a possibility of water intoxication.

Game play

There are very few universal or “official” rules. Typically, players abide by a uniform set of "house rules", which are often consistent within one university or region of the country (e.g., "Ivy League rules" or "West Coast rules"), or may vary on a "house-by-house" basis. Number of cups, bouncing, amount of alcohol, the distance shots must be taken from, et cetera, may all vary.

In some house rules, players must immediately drink any cup that has been hit. Failure to do so incurs a penalty, such as drinking more beer or losing the game. Some rule sets allow for "re-racking" (also known as "rearranging", "consolidation", and other names), which is a rearrangement of a team's remaining cups after some have been removed. The formations, number of cups, when to rearrange and so on depend on the rule set. For example, a team with three remaining cups may ask the other team to "re-rack" their multiple targets into a single triangle formation.

Teams have many possibilities for reracks.

Some other house rules allow swatting the ball away if it bounces and if the ball spins around the cup. Other rules state that if a team makes both shots in a round, they may shoot again, sometimes called a "repo" or "rollback". With WSOBP rules only one repo/rollback is allowed and is a single ball. If this ball is also made the three consecutive shots are referred to as a "splash-trick".

After shooting, teams may dunk the ping pong balls into cups of water in order to wash off the balls. However, research showed that the wash cups still hold bacteria, such as E. coli.

1. Shot techniques

There are three key ways to shoot in beer pong: the arc, the fastball (or "laser"), and the bounce shot. The most common throwing technique is the "arc" shot, where one grasps the ping pong ball with the tips of the thumb and forefinger, holds the arm at an angle with the ball upwards, then throw by using gentle elbow motion, holding the upper arm parallel with the table.

Some players throw "fastball" style, which uses more of a hard chopping motion to send the ball in a more direct line to the intended target cup. Also, a fastball shot may be favorable if house rules dictate a cup that is knocked over is taken off the table, in which case a fastball can eliminate multiple cups if thrown hard enough.

A "bounce" shot is performed by bouncing the ball toward the cups. Since (depending on house rules) the other team may have the opportunity to swat away a bounced ball, a bounce may be worth more than one cup. In some rule sets, bouncing is not allowed; in others, it is required.

The typical path for the different kinds of shots.

2. Winning the game

If the opposing team makes the last cup, the other loses unless they can make either all remaining cups or simply one cup, depending on "house rules"—this is called a rebuttal or redemption. In some rule sets, if the opposing team hits the last cup with both of their balls, no redemption is given to the losing team.

A shutout rule is a house rule usually stated before a game or during the game in the midst of a shutout. If the shutout does occur the losing team must do whatever the two teams decided on, such as going streaking or drinking a large quantity of beer.

Defendant further provides the following information, available from www.wikipedia.org, catalogued under the title, “Beer pong (paddles)”:

Game play

No "official" codified version of the rules of pong exist, and many "house rules" variations exist. In general terms, players start by assembling cups of beer or other obstacles onto either side of a table and a median in between. Like table tennis, pong requires one side to serve the ball and the other side to attempt to return the ball and begin a rally. Both the serve and the intra-game volleys generally must propel in an arch trajectory. Players may not return the ball until it has struck their own side, objects on their side, or the floor. Following the serve, players attempt to hit or sink in the opponents cups, whereby the opponent will lose one or more points. Once all points for a cup or obstacle have been taken away, the object is removed. The game is won when all objects have been removed from the opponents side.

1. Equipment

Pong requires a table, paddles, a ball, cups, and beer. Also, a median is sometimes utilized.

The table is not a regulation ping-pong table but is made from one or two sheets of plywood, usually measuring 4'x8', 5'x9', or 5'x10'. However, a regular ping-pong table may be utilized, as long as the net is removed. The sheets are propped up on supports such as sawhorses, garbage cans, or frames specially built from lumber or steel pipes.

The median is a divider placed across the center of the table, such as a pole, hockey stick, broom handle, or the net of a table tennis set.

Paddles are commercial ping pong paddles, sometimes in modified form to suit the house rules. Typically, the handles are broken off.

Cups are predominately 12oz plastic cups arranged in a predetermined configuration, 16 oz. cups are utilized as well.

Beer (or water for water pong, cocktails for tails pong, champagne for champong) fills each cup approximately 5/6ths of the way full before each game.

2. Configuration

Cups or obstacles may be assembled in a number of configurations. Often these configurations vary widely between groups, with players remaining very loyal to their original form of play.

* Two Cup: Two cups are placed next to each other a set distance from the edge of the pong table, typically one paddle length. Two cup can be played for points and/or simply until your two cups are gone.
o Four Cup: Each player on a side has a "Two Cup" set up.

* Line: An expansion of "Two Cup" to any number of cups lined up in a single row a set distance from the edge of the pong table, typically one paddle length.
o Wall: Cups in a line across the width of the table.
o Great Wall: Cups lining all sides of the table.

* Triangle: A six cup triangle centered on each end with the base along the back line.

* Shrub: A six cup triangle centered on each end, a paddle's width from the edge of the table, with a single 'stem' cup behind them.
o Tree: An eleven cup variant with a ten cup triangle.
o Double-stemmed Tree: A twelve cup variant with a ten cup triangle and two stem cups.
o Sequoia: A seventeen cup variant with a 15 cup triangle and two stem cups.
o Tower: A twenty-one cup variant. The base consists of a "Tree," a "shrub" is carefully balanced on top of the base. A miniature three-cup tree is balanced on the "shrub" and finally a single cup is balanced on the top.
o Sequoia Tower: A thirty-eight cup variant. "Tower" with a "Sequoia" base.
o Enchanted Forest: Typically played with two pong tables placed side by side. The number of players is unlimited to the extent that the tables get too crowded. Each player starts with a "Tree" and once your last cup is gone - magically another "Tree" appears in front of you. Etiquette dictates that you do not hit towards the person immediately to your left or right, but etiquette quickly dissipates as the game proceeds. The game ends when you decide to walk away.
o Social: Same as "Enchanted Forest" but each player has a "Scrub" instead of a "Tree" and 2 ping pong balls are in play at any given time.

* Ship or Battleship: A configuration modeled after the classic board game Battleship. Each team positions five "boats" aligned to a grid. The "boats" consist of one 5-cup arrangement, one 4-cup arrangement, two 3-cup arrangements, and one 2-cup arrangement, similar to the board game. Additionally, there is a "mine" or two which if hit by an opponent is drunk by the opponent. Sometimes the "mine" is movable and may be refilled.
o Pearl Harbor: Originally called 8-Man. A variant on "Ship" where two pong tables are placed side by side. There are 4 teams each defending a corner of the pong field, instead of the normal short side of the table. A 6-cup "boat" is added to the game, as well as an additional "mine." Again, the "mine" may be movable and may be refilled.

* Battlestar: A combination of "Ship" and "Tree."
o Battlestar Gallatica: A combination of "Tower" and "Ship"
o Towerstar Gabootica: A combination of "Sequoia Tower" and "Ship"

* Tic-Tac-Toe: A massive game in which all likelihood will require substitutions as 81 cups are placed on each side of the table. The cups are sets up 9 groupings of 9 cups obviously in the formation of a Tic-tac-toe board. You win by getting rid of three 9 cup groupings as per the normal rules of Tic-tac-toe.

* Table: Another massive game. Cups are set up to cover the entire surface of the table. A player must continue to serve and incur penalties until they have cleared a space on the table large enough to legally serve.

* The Unholy: Another version is where a shot of Jagermeister is put in a shot glass in front of the single beer glass one paddle length ahead on the center line. If the person hitting the shot toward the beer glass hits the shot glass, they must take the shot, hence the name "The Unholy".

3. Primary rules

Start of game: Usually the challenging team serves first. Often, it is considered polite for one team to volunteer to serve first. Sometimes players will throw the ball, similar to Beirut, to determine who serves first.

Serve: A player serves by striking the ball so that it makes contact with their own side once, immediately followed by contact with the opposing side.

Serve fault: Failing to contact the opposing side on a serve is considered a fault. Often a predetermined number of faults results in the serving team losing one or more points.

Serve hit: Making contact with cups or obstacles on the opposing side when serving is considered a serve-hit. Often the serving team immediately loses one or more points.

Ace: A serve resulting in the ball bouncing in an awkward fashion, such as off the cornered edge of the table, is called an ace. An ace is legal and generally sought after by experienced players.

Dirty serve: Serving in a disreputable manner, such as striking a ball that is already bouncing or squeezing the ball between the thumb and paddle, is considered a dirty serve. A dirty serve is typically legal, but frowned upon.

Volley: After the serve, teams alternate striking the ball onto the opposing team's side of the table.

Hit: Striking the opponents cups during a volley is considered a hit. Usually the opponents will lose one point or drink.

Sink: Having the ball come to rest in one of the opponents cups during a volley is considered a sink. Usually the penalty for the opponents would be doubled, costing two points or drinks in most circumstances.

End of volley: A volley ends when the ball bounces twice, misses the opposite side, is double hit, or hits or sinks in the cups. The team that caused the volley to end must then serve the ball to restart play.

Double hit: A team striking the ball twice is considered to have double hit the ball. This generally results in the end of a volley.

4. Secondary rules

The rules included in this section are an outline of popular rules that exist in standard variations. Localizations of beer pong will often be based on a subset of these or may include additional rules not listed here.

Save: Immediately after the ball strikes a team's cups, the team may attempt a subsequent return called a save. A save generally cancels the penalty associated with the hit.

Cup Save: When the ping pong ball hits an opponent's cup and the ball bounces high and far enough to cross back over to a team's side, negating the hit penalty.

Throw Save: Throwing one’s paddle to save a hit penalty. Usually occurs, when a team's cup is hit on the edge or side closest to the opponent, and the ping pong ball ricochets back toward the opponent's side but not far enough to avoid hitting a team's side of the table twice, which would result in the hit penalty being accessed. Because of the ricochet of the ball and the distance from a player, the player is required to throw their paddle in an attempt to hit the ball over to the opponent's side.

Blow Save: Where a ping pong ball hits a cup and while swirling around the cup about to "sink" into the cup, but before the ball touches the beer, a player blows air under the ball and pops it out of the cup. Obviously, this only saves a "sink," and a penalty for a hit is still accessed unless the player in the same motion is able to hit the ball onto the opponent's side. This type of save is contentious.

Save hit: In attempting a save, if a player strikes the opponents cups, it is generally referred to as a save hit. A save hit often results in the players on whom the hit was made losing a point or drink.

Save sink: In attempting a save, if a player strikes the ball so that it comes to rest in the opponents cups, it is generally referred to as a save sink. The consequence of a save sink is often the dual-doubling of the combined save and sink, costing in four points or drinks in the general course of play.

Floor shot: On hitting the floor, a team may attempt one final shot to hit the opponents cups called a floor shot. Hitting or sinking from a floor shot is generally considered the same as hitting or sinking during a volley. A floor shot may similarly be saved, although the volley is still terminated once all save shots have completed.

Variants

1. Lob pong

The game mirrors the basic form of a friendly game of regulation table tennis. Each serve and return must complete an arc acceptable to opponents and observers, though the goal of sinking the ball in a cup tends to reward returning in the proper form. Hitting an opponent's cup means one-fifth, one-half or simply a "sip" of the cup is drunk (depending on the school), and sinking a ball in a cup (aka, a "plop") means that a player or a team must drink a half or the entire cup. Spilling one's own cup usually merits drinking an entire cup of freshly poured beer. Other beverages than beer, including water or cocktails, are sometimes permitted, but some beverage is necessary.

a. Service

The ball is properly served by striking it with the paddle, ensuring it bounces only once off the serving team's half of the table, and then lands on the opposing team's half. If the ball hits an opponent's cup the serving team must drink one sip from their cup and serve again. This is a "fault". If the serve lands in an opponent's cup the serving team must drink an entire beer. This is also a "fault".

Two "faults" are allowed if the ball fails to make its second bounce on the opponent's half of the table. If a server faults three times, the opponent gets one point and gets to serve. Note that hitting or sinking on the serve do not count as faults; in this case, the opponent collects 1 or 2 points respectively and immediately gets to serve.

Since a game cannot be lost on a service error, at match point the losing server has an unlimited number of "faults", and the server does not lose points or service if the opponent's cup is accidentally hit or sunk on the serve. As a result, the server should keep trying for the best serve possible when the opponent is at match point. Some players institute a three-fault rule, however, the violation of which requires that a full beer be drunk.

A related strategy is to foul up the ball and intentionally serve it into your opponent's cup. If you are able to sink it later, your opponent must drink a fouled beverage. This is known as "intentional gorfing".

In some places, continuing service after the ball has hit a cup is, not only commendable, but results in "one on". Roughly explained, if a cup has been hit and the opponent is able to keep the ball in play, there will be "one drink" on the table. The losing side of that service will not only lose a point, but will have the pleasure of drinking a "drink" from their cup. Obviously this rule is not limited to just one hit of a cup but can expand infinitely, depending upon the skill of the players.

b. Return

The ball must be returned after it has bounced just once off the returning team's half of the table; this includes the table top and the cups. Blowing a spinning ball out of a cup and returning it is permitted but it is highly-frowned upon unless done by girls. Ricocheting the ball off external objects such as a vertical or horizontal structural member in the basement, a ceiling, or a bystander is usually permitted. If a ball is extremely hard to return or if it is "un-returnable", both teams can agree to call it a "DB," "Dive-bomb," or "stoner." If a "DB" or "stoner" is agreed upon, then the point is played over.

There are a number of formal variants of Lob, including the standard Two-Cup (one full cup per player), Four-Cup (two full cups per player), Shrub (a triangle of six beers with a "stem" attached to one side), Tree (much like Shrub, except the triangle includes 10 beers), Line (with four half cups per player), Full-Cup Line or Wall (cups in a line across the width of the table), Great Wall (cups lining all sides of the table), Table (cups covering the surface; one must foul out to clear a space on his own side for service), Battleship (or 'Ship, two lines of three cups and one line of five, four and two cups placed strategically, similar to the formations in the board game Battleship), Rotating Randomness (irregular groups of cups placed in irregular pie-shaped sections of the table and played by six or more people who change positions after each point, encouraging shifting ad-hoc team behavior), and Henge (stacked cups or trilithons in irregular pie-shaped zones, with each player having a separate "Tourist" cup whose strategic drinking out of turn imposes the requirement that all others drink theirs, and other ritual elements).

2. Gentleman's game

This version is similar to "lob pong" but with key differences. This game is always played as either a one-on-one or doubles match, with one keg cup of beer per person. The game is always played to 21 points, and victor(s) must win by at least 2. When a side reaches 20 points, or any time thereafter when its total is one point ahead of the other side, the match is at game point. The winning side must end the game with a "hoop" (see below); when at game point, merely hitting the opponent's cup does not result in an additional point for the leading team, though a sip is "on the table" (see below).

An optional (though highly recommended) variation employs the "hoop rule", in which the winning side must tally at least as many "hoops" as the other side. Under this condition, the winning hoop cannot come until the winning side has at least evened the hoop count. Any hoop that comes on game point prior to the hoop that evens the count does not result in an additional point for the leading team, but shall be treated as any other hoop in terms of drinking requirements. Between evenly matched foes, the "hoop rule" can result in quite lengthy competitions and continued debauchery long into the night. It is believed, though not confirmed, that the record for most amount of "hoops" in a game is 17. Of course if an opponent feels the sudden urge to "boot", a gentleman always allows a short break, though said opponent is then expected to "rally". Anything less would be uncivilized.

a. Service

The ball is properly served by striking it with the paddle, ensuring it bounces only once off the serving team's half of the table, and then lands on the opposing team's half. If the ball hits an opponent's cup the serving team must drink one sip from their cup and serve again. If the serve lands in an opponent's cup the serving team must drink an entire beer. If the ball fails to make its second bounce on the opponent's half of the table after two attempts, the serving team must take a sip and continue serving. No points are awarded to either side on the serve. Service changes sides after every combined 5 points. In doubles play, teammates must alternate serving the 5 point sets with each side change.

b. Return

The ball must be returned after it has bounced just once off the returning team's half of the table; this includes the table top and the cups. Ricocheting the ball off external objects is permitted. Points may be scored anytime after the first serve.

Points are scored one at a time for either a "hoop" (the return lands in the opponent's cup) or for hitting the opponent's cup followed by the opponent's failure to make a successful return. When a hoop occurs, the side whose cup was "hooped" drinks an entire beer per team member. When a hit cup occurs (without a successful return), the side whose cup was hit drinks one sip per team member. A successful return off a hit cup negates the point, but a sip is "on the table", and the side that fails to sustain the rally must take a sip at its conclusion.

If a ball hits the edge of the table at any time and is thus impossible to return both teams can agree to call it a "stoner" and replay the point.

3. Fast pong

As the name suggests, fast pong happens at a faster pace than lob pong. While there are many variations of the game, one major difference is that the goal is often just to hit the opponents cup and sinking the ball into the cup happens much less frequently. The game can be played either with points (with each hit counting as a point) or with drinks (with each hit requiring the opponent to drink a certain amount of beer, usually half of the 12-ounce cup).

4. Bucknell variant

a. Purpose of game and winning

The purpose of Bucknell pong (referred to as "pong" to Bucknellians) is to hit the opponents' cup three times. After one hit, the team being hit has to drink half of their beverage. After the second hit the team must drink the rest. After the third hit the team loses. One can also win the game by hitting the ball into the opponents' cup once. If that happens, the game automatically ends and the losing team must chug their beverage. In this style of pong, the ball is never out of play and one side always has the option to take a shot from wherever the ball lies, whether on the floor, in the garbage, or in an empty cup.

b. The table and table lay-out

The Pong Table sits 33 inches off the ground and the surface area is exactly 9'x5'. Because the Pong Table is a close sibling to the ping pong table, two hinges for a net should be fastened at the middle point of the table. Additionally, a flattened ping pong net should lie between and connected to the hinges. While Pong can be played with actual ping pong paddles, the more traditional and acceptable way to play involves paddles which use sandpaper-like material as padding and have the handles broken off.

Four 12-oz cups of beer should be placed on opposing sides of the table, one for each of the four players. The placement may be six inches from both the end and the side of the table, but it is most important that it remain uniform for all four players, ensuring that no team gains an advantage. Typically, one side of the table is declared “Winners’ Side”, and the team that wins the previous match will play on that side while the challengers will use “Losers’ Side”.

c. Service and return

The serve must always be made to the person standing diagonally across the table and needs to hit both sides of the table. If it doesn’t, the opposing team has the choice to accept the serve or to call out “One Side” or “No Sides” and give the ball back to the serving team.

If the team serving the ball hits any cup with the ball, that will be considered “A Hit” against the serving team and they will serve the ball again unless that would be the third hit against them. If the serve knocks over a cup, regardless of how much beer is in the cup (or if the cup is empty), the serving team loses the match and must chug one cup of beer as a penalty.

When the opposing team serves the ball, the receiving player can either hit it with his paddle immediately or choose to hit it off of his body for a better shot. The latter maneuver is called “A Body”. If the ball hits either of the receiving players’ hands, arms, or paddles, it is considered that player’s shot.

d. "Bodying" the ball

Players have the choice of either hitting the ball off of the table or “Bodying” it to either side for a better shot off of the ground. Because a player’s hands and arms are considered extensions of the paddle, you cannot Body the ball with either your hands or arms. If you do, this is considered a shot. You also cannot body the ball with your foot or your leg below the knee. This is a “Foot” and the player that does this should pick up the ball and serve. Additionally, you cannot Body a ball that has already hit the floor, even if done by accident.

If the ball gets stuck in an article of clothing, that player may take one step before inducing the ball to drop on the floor, at which time normal play resumes. This is the same rule if the ball rolls into an empty cup.

e. Defense

While the opposing team takes a shot, a player has the choice of playing defense (more commonly referred to a "D") by placing either their hand or their paddle in front of their cup. Some players consider this weak, but it is a common and acceptable practice. Defense only works against a ball that has already hit the table. If the ball hits the table first and then hits the defense, the player should pick the ball up and serve. If the ball bounces off of the defense onto the other side, that team must play the ball; the hand is treated like the paddle, and so defense can be considered a shot.

If the one team hits the ball and it hits the other team’s defense in the air, that will be considered a hit if it would have hit the cup were the defense not there. However, this is a difficult thing to ascertain. Ultimately, the team that shot the ball gets to make the decision of whether the shot is a Hit or not. However, the arguments of the bystanders and the other team should be listened to and respected. For this reason, playing defense can sometimes increase the risk both of the other team calling a hit and the ensuing arguments.

f. Knock-overs and dunks

If a team knocks over their own cup with the ball, their paddle, their body, or by hitting the table, they lose and must drink a beer. This is true regardless of how much beer was in the cup (or if it was empty). If a player hits a ball (not on the serve) and knocks over the other team’s cup, his team automatically wins, regardless of how full the cup is. The Full Cup Knockover is considered the most difficult shot in the game.

If a player hits the ball and it lands into the other team’s beer, that player’s side wins the game and the other team must chug their beers. This is called a Dunk.

Technically it's a burglary, since the home was broken into, and something was stolen. But really, jellybeans? And nothing else? As reported by the Erie Times News:

Police said the burglar broke the window in the front door of a home in the 12000 block of East Lake Road in North East Township sometime between 7 and 11:59 p.m. on April 24. Once inside, the burglar took some jellybeans sitting on the dining room table and left.

Police said no other property inside the home was missing or moved.

Nutty. Here's the source. (In the same vein, check out this post.)

Perhaps this man's ex-wife had no hard feelings about the end of the marriage. He, on the other hand, was clearly not pleased with the outcome. As reported by kdvr.com:

Ronald Smith, 58, broke into his ex-wife’s home and poured an unknown substance into a baby grand piano, put raw chicken parts into the heating vents, and erased the hard drive on a computer.

The Denver jury deliberated for about six hours before finding Smith guilty of second degree burglary and criminal mischief.

The time?

[He] could face up to 18 years in prison ...

Click here for the source, including a photo of Mr. Smith.

If you don't like the maid, why not just fire her? And if you guessed that this didn't happen in the US, you're right. It was in Kuwait. Per the Arab Times:

Police have arrested an Asian housemaid for allegedly ‘ruining’ the family of her sponsor through black magic, reports Al-Shahed daily.

The arrest came when a Kuwaiti in his 40s filed a complaint with the police that seven days after hiring the housemaid there was a high degree of confusion in his home and he suspected the maid of doing black magic.


The man added he children complained of suffering from illusions and they looked terrified. He added he kept a watch on the maid and heard her uttering strange words while practicing magic in the kitchen. On the day of the incident he interrupted her and seized magic charms from her possession.


During interrogation the maid is said to have admitted to the act.

She added the family was treating her bad and wanted to take revenge.


Now that's the first thing that has made any sense.

The maid has been referred to the General Immigration Department to prepare her deportation from the country.

Well, as long as she got a fair hearing ...

["Schrute" by Capkirk94 at quickmeme.com]

Clearly this gent is not an adherent of the age-old retail philosophy that "the customer is always right." As reported by wdrb.com (Louisville, Kentucky):

A smoke shop owner is in trouble with the law after police say he pulled a gun during a dispute with a customer.

It happened on Sept. 12 at the Smoke Shoppe II at 1850 south Hurstbourne Parkway. According to the arrest slip, 25-year-old Tariq L. Bayoud was arguing with four people when he pulled the weapon and pointed it in their direction.

Clearly there is such a thing as bad publicity. And it gets worse for Mr. Bayoud.

Police arrested Bayoud for violating a DVO [domestic violence order] which stated he could not possess firearms. The next day, police learned the gun was stolen during a burglary in Florida in 2007.

He was subsequently arrested on September 16 and charged with receiving stolen property.

It's probably safe to assume there won't be a "Smoke Shoppe III." Here's the source.

"Show and tell" didn't turn out too well for the mother of a Missouri kindergartner. As reported by kctv5.com:

The task for the fresh-faced kindergartner students was to bring important family items for show and tell.

But one kindergartner floored his teacher and local law enforcement officers when police say he pulled his mother's crack pipe and an ounce of drugs from his backpack.

The child's mother was charged with possession of a controlled substance and one count of first-degree child endangerment. Bond was set at $7,500 for 32-year-old Michelle Marie Cheatham.

The rocks turned out to be meth. You can read more here.

Remember, this guy was allegedly drunk. So what kind of DUI was it? Per the Beaver County Times (Pennsylvania):

An Ohioville police report said a 911 call came in at 1:40 p.m. Thursday for an “out-of-control male” in the 6000 block of Tuscawaras Road.

Hmm. Seems pretty average so far.

On the way to the location, the officer spotted Mark Grove, 44, of 146 Valleyview Drive driving a lawn tractor down the middle of the road, the report said.

Go on ...

Grove smelled of alcohol, was slurring his words and was nearly unintelligible, the report said. There was also a coffee mug sitting on the tractor that was leaking beer, the report said. Grove told the officer, “I’m drunk. Just take me home,” the report said.

"Oh sure. No problem. What's your address?" Um. No.

Once in the patrol car, Grove tried to kick out the window of the car and then kicked the officer three times, the report said. Grove then threatened to “tear up the hospital” and head-butted the partition between the front and rear seats of the patrol car, the report said.

Now you're really not getting that ride home.

At the hospital, Grove refused to take a blood-alcohol test or sign any forms, the report said. Once back at the police station, Grove attempted to escape from police custody and damaged a bench and the floor of the station, the report said.

As Mr. Sulu would say "oh my."

Grove is charged with drunken driving, aggravated assault, criminal mischief, institutional vandalism, resisting arrest, escape, disorderly conduct, driving under suspension, habitual offender for driving under suspension and disregard for traffic lanes.

Here's the source.

It's hard finding work in this economy. But the economy had nothing to do with this gent not getting a job with the sheriff's department in Warren County, Mississippi. That would have been due to the outstanding warrant for his arrest! Per The Herald Tribune (Florida):

Authorities say Ronald Wade walked into a sheriff's department in Mississippi to apply for a job as a jailer.

So, after the routine background check - whoa there buddy!

Warren County Sheriff Martin Pace said the 31-year-old Wade was wanted in Florida on a warrant for driving under the influence-manslaughter.

Pace said Wade had been involved in a wreck in Manatee County, but was never arrested on the charge. The initial background check revealed the warrant for his arrest. Deputies arrested Wade on Wednesday.

That's one tough collar right there. Mr. Wade waived extradition and is heading back to Florida. Here's the source.

Why would The Juice presume that no celebrities would stay in James City County, Virginia? Because they have a law prohibiting the use of a fake name when registering at a hotel. Here it is:

Sec. 15-38. False registration by guests.

It shall be unlawful for any person to write, or cause to be written, or knowingly permit to be written, in any guest register in any lodging place in the county, any other or different name or designation than the true name of the person registered therein, or the name by which such person is generally known, or to enter false information regarding any vehicle. Any person violating the provisions of this section shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

Surely all those law-abiding adulterers give their real names ... Here's the source. (You'll have to scroll down to page 19.)

Fries definitely taste better when they are hot, and go downhill fast. But it appears that if indeed this woman did get cold fries, she grossly overreacted. Per The Highline Times (Washington State):

The manager of a fast food restaurant located in the 15800 block of 1st Ave. S. called to report and incident with a customer. A female customer returned to the drive-through window after receiving her purchase. The customer felt her fries were too cold. She began yelling profanities and flipping off the manager.

After trying to diffuse the situation, the manager told her to leave or she would report it to the police. The woman did leave. The next customer to come to the drive-through stopped half way through. They noticed a handful of nails in the lane. The manager was able to clean up the nails before any damage was done to a vehicle. No one was able to identify the customer or prove that she was the one that dumped the nails.

Really, cold fries lady? You try to take it out on an innocent customer? Not cool.

Why on earth would it matter if a chicken is a "beast" or not? Well, it mattered a great deal to a man in Indiana who was charged with sodomizing a "beast." Or, as set forth in the opinion:

[Mr. Murray], without benefit of counsel, entered a plea of guilty to a charge by affidavit that he committed the "abominable and detestable crime against nature with a beast ..."

Armed with a lawyer, based on the title of the post, you can probably guess what the defense was.

[Mr. Murray] contends that the term "beast" as used in Sec. 10-4221, supra, does not include "fowl" ...

This is Indiana - in 1957. How do you think that argument was received? Webster's Dictionary looked to offer some encouragement.

2. Any four-footed animal, as distinguished from birds, reptiles, fishes and insects.

Hmm. What about definitions 1. and 3.?

1. Any living creature; any animal. 3. An animal; - distinguished from man.

Uh oh. The court also noted that ...

Under a statute concerning cruelty to animals, this court has held [in 1887!] that a fowl, i.e., a goose was an animal.

A duck has been held to be an animal under an English statute pertaining to sodomy. Reg. v. Brown (1889).

Said the Supreme Court of Indiana ...

In our opinion a chicken is a beast within the meaning of that term as used in Sec. ... Judgment affirmed.

The case is Murray v. Indiana, 143 N.E.2d 290 (1957).

Your home is your castle, right? And your garage too? Not always, as this Florida man found out. As reported by tcpalm.com:

Port St. Lucie police on Sunday went to Francisco Rojas' home after his wife told 911 dispatchers her 49-year-old husband was "drunk and in the garage trying to pull his tooth out with a pair of pliers, and she needs the police to respond."

Yeow!

Three officers made contact with Rojas. "We observed him attempting to extract his tooth and there was vomit on the floor from his attempts," an affidavit states.

Rojas' wife lifted the garage door at an officer's request to dispel the barf smell.

Asked what was troubling him, Rojas started cursing and was asked to calm down. "This is my [fucking] house, I can say and do whatever the [fuck] I want," an affidavit states. "I'm [fucking] drunk and you can't do nothing about it." [expletives reinserted] 

Another officer asked Rojas to calm down, but he's accused of more yelling and cursing that "affected the public decency as well as the peace and quiet of the children playing in the neighborhood."

Rojas, of the 1000 block of Southwest Firestone Avenue in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a breach of peace charge.

Breach of peace? Wasn't the guy quietly trying to pull out his tooth (and puking) before the police came and stirred things up? Ay ay ay. Here's the source, including the charging papers.
 
 

That Chinese cooking oil you brought is probably be fine. It's probably not the product of a certain illegal operation, as reported by chinadaily.com:

Chinese police have arrested 32 suspects for producing and selling illegal cooking oil in a cross-province crackdown, the Ministry of Public Security said in a statement Tuesday.

Why is it gross? Well ...

More than 100 tonnes of such oil, made from leftovers dredged from gutters behind restaurants, were seized after busting a criminal network spanning 14 provinces, the ministry said.

Tasty! Here's the source.

Nobody can argue that times are not tough. Some people might argue, though, that this is not the best way to go about getting money. As reported by wesh.com:

It’s not normally a problem when a disrobed woman asks customers for money at a strip club. But it is when the woman doesn’t work there.

Deputies said that’s exactly what happened Tuesday night at the Baby Dolls strip club in Pinellas County.

Deputies arrested Natalie Marie Behnke, 25.

Yikes. You can read more, and see her photo here.

Your mission: theft. You think you're the only one out there with that mission? A ten-year-old found out the hard way that stealing isn't such a great idea. Per The Bee News (Buffalo, New York):

Two 10-year-old boys tried to steal a game from a 
Thruway Plaza Drive
business, but tuhe manager sent them on their way. The 
boys were then seen on
the curb outside crying, because one of their bicycles had 
been stolen.

Bad day, but hopefully lessons learned (stealing = bad idea; locking your bike = good idea).

Lots of people eat fish. Probably most people. Is it really so bad to eat a goldfish? Apparently so, as Briton Chris Caswell found out the hard way. As reported - with no slant whatsoever[!] - in The Sun:

Cruel Chris Caswell was arrested yesterday over the sick stunt that was videoed by his giggling pals and posted on Facebook.

Damn you Facebook!

The lout, 30, paid £1.99 for a fish then asked staff to put it in a glass he had brought along, claiming he lived just across the road.

A puzzled shop worker agreed - then watched in horror as he downed the fish in one swallow.

Oh the humanity!

After Caswell ate the creature, his pal doing the filming crowed: "Goldfish down the hatch!" The yobs then marched out of the shop cackling and joking.

Police were alerted after the appalling footage was posted on the web.

Roofer Caswell was arrested in a dawn raid at his home in Newton Aycliffe, Co Durham, yesterday on suspicion of cruelty to animals.

Really? A "raid"?

He was quizzed at a police station for an hour then released.

Should have asked President Obama for special dispensation to send the gent to Guantanamo Bay.

The yob last night insisted he was an animal lover and it was just a prank.

He bleated: "It was over a year ago. We had been out drinking at a friend's party. I can't remember much about it. I have just got a puppy. I like animals."

If Caswell is found guilty of animal cruelty he could face a £20,000 fine or six months in jail.

This guy is a criminal? Sounds more like a prankster. Here's the source, including video of the incident.

Yes, Juice readers, it is still illegal in Florida for unmarried couples to live together! Here's the statute:

TITLE XLVI CRIMES Chapter 798 ADULTERY; COHABITATION

798.02 Lewd and lascivious behavior.

If any man and woman, not being married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together, or if any man or woman, married or unmarried, engages in open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, they shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083 [A $500 fine and up to 60 days in jail]

Good luck to Republican Representative Ritch Workman who is trying to get this ridiculous, oft-violated (1 million+ lawbreakers in Florida!) off the books. Seems there aren't a lot of lawmakers in Florida with a spine. Here's an article about it in The Orlando Sentinel.

The good news: Legal Juice has a new, populated category: "Don't Tase Me, Bro!"

The bad news: If you check it out, you'll see that The Juice needs to find some different Taser photos. Doh!

You know the cops are getting annoying, idiotic calls like this all the time. As reported in the Sun Star Courier:

FRAUD, CRYSTAL CREEK DRIVE [Brecksville, Ohio]: A resident reported April 1 that someone had hacked into her email account and sent money requests to those on her contact list.

The victim was made aware of the situation when her friends began calling to inquire about the emails. The report did not state if anyone sent the requested funds.

One question for the complainant: Really? The Juice literally gets an email like this once a month! Hey lady - stop wasting the cop's time!

Would you believe it if The Juice told you a woman was busted for noisy sex? Well, he is. As reported in The Northern Echo:

A woman pleaded guilty today to breaching a sex Asbo [anti-social behavior order] three times.

Caroline Cartwright, 48, and her husband Steve were hit with a noise abatement notice after neighbours, the local postman, and a woman taking her child to school complained about their noisy lovemaking.

However, when Cartwright was convicted of breaching the notice, magistrates made her the subject of an anti-social behaviour order as well.

Cartwright pleaded guilty at Newcastle Crown Court today to breaching the Asbo three times in April 2009.

Earlier this year Cartwright appealed against her conviction for breaching the noise abatement notice and the issuing of the Asbo, which bans the couple from "shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance".

She used Article 8 of the Human Rights Act to argue she had a right to "respect for her private and family life".

Jobless Cartwright, who lost her appeal against the order, also claimed that she could not help making the loud noise during sex with her husband.

Really? Screaming during sex is not a basic human right? What is wrong with people?

The hearing heard that the Cartwrights' nightly sex sessions at their home in Hall Road, Concord, Washington, Tyne and Wear, were making their neighbours lives hell.

Their lovemaking was described as "murder" and "unnatural" and drowned out their neighbours' televisions.

Neighbours said the Cartwrights' sex sessions would usually start around midnight and last for two or three hours, every night of the week.

That there is a lot of sex.

Specialist equipment installed in a neighbour's flat by Sunderland City Council recorded noise levels of between 30 to 40 decibels, with the highest being 47 decibels.

Giving evidence Cartwright said she was unable to control the noise she made during sex.

"I did not understand why people asked me to be quiet because to me it is normal. I didn't understand where they were coming from," she said.

"I have tried to minimise the situation by having sex in the morning - not at night - so the noise was not waking anybody. I maybe sympathetic to it but it is not something I am doing on purpose."

Breaching an Asbo carries a maximum sentence of five years imprisonment but Judge Beatrice Bolton said Cartwright, who now lives in a bail hostel, would not face jail.

She adjourned the case until next year for sentencing and released Cartwright on bail.

Judges can do many things to end up facing discipline. They can skip out on work too much. They can treat parties poorly. They can disrespect lawyers who appear before them. Or, as a Pennsylvania disciplinary court found regarding Allentown District Judge Maryesther Merlo, all of the above, per The Morning Call.

Regarding attendance:

Merlo had a habit of calling out of work when dozens of hearings were scheduled and litigants, police and attorneys were assembled in her courtroom, her staff testified. According to the decision, Merlo missed 116 days of work from September 2007 to December 2009.

"This is not to mention that on the days when [Merlo] did come to work, she was never on time — she was always late," the court added.

Former Lehigh County President Judge William H. Platt and Court Administrator Gordon Roberts testified their efforts to address her work habits fell on deaf ears. The disciplinary court noted Merlo's explanation that her absences were excused because she never took vacation was belied by the fact she did take 49 days of vacation during the period at issue.

Excellent work habits. How did she treat parties and witnesses?

In one case, Merlo described a young man who appeared in court with his mother on a traffic offense as "a dog who needs to be retrained." In another case, she ordered deputy sheriffs to arrest a woman who had been counseled by her lawyer not to testify to avoid incriminating herself, according to the decision.

[There was also testimony about] bizarre courtroom behavior, including an episode in which she ordered a defendant to call himself "scumbag."

And the court examined Merlo's conduct in 10 cases and found six in which her demeanor constituted a violation of the rules of conduct. Witnesses testified Merlo's behavior was often demeaning, intimidating and offensive.

Okay. But what about Judge Merlo's side of the story?

In each of the six cases, the court found the witnesses who complained about Merlo's behavior to be more credible than the judge.

Doh! That hurts.

The state disciplinary court examined Merlo's demeanor during truancy hearings, noting her practice of continuing cases to give the kids "a second chance" interfered with the district's efforts to discipline students with attendance problems. Her own tardiness set a poor example for the students, the court noted.

Suzette Arcelay, a school counselor, testified Merlo's behavior was often rude and erratic, including an episode in which Merlo told her to "shut up."

Judge Merlo has the option of appealing the findings. You can read more here.

If everyone just went about their business, we'd all be better off. But the cops would sure be bored. No worries about being bored for some cops in Indiana, as reported by The Chicago Tribune:

The still-unidentified man was discovered wandering along the [Interstate 65] just south of U.S. Highway 30 at about 2:30 p.m. "marching like a drum major" while holding the 35-inch [samurai] sword, state police said in a news release.

The shirtless man moved the sword rhythmically like a baton until Master Trooper Rick Hudson approached, officials said. The man swung defensively at Hudson, but dropped the sword when Hudson ordered him to, authorities said.

So far, so good ...

Authorities said the suspect then tried to get into the 2010 Chevrolet SUV until he was ordered to the ground at gunpoint and Merrillville police took him into custody.

Nice job, pal. Just got yourself some more charges.

Once in custody, the man gave authorities different names and addresses, but told Lake County Jail officials that he was “Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

The charges?

Though his identity hadn't been verified, authorities charged the man with attempted car jacking, resisting law enforcement and possession of marijuana.

You'll find the source here.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has had a haircut they have been unhappy with. But, unlike with virtually every other problem, this one actually does go away with time. A man in Norway couldn't wait. So, as reported at newsenglish.no:

A man in Drammen was so unhappy with his new haircut that he called police, demanding assistance because he didn’t want to leave the hair salon.

News bureau NTB reported that according to the Søndre Buskerud Police District’s logs, the man claimed that the hairdresser had done such a bad job that he couldn’t go outside without a cap. He apparently didn’t have one.

He also had complained about the result of his haircut to the salon’s proprietor, but was told it was too late to do anything about it.

If only the owner had told him he could take care of it ... and then shaved him bald!

The police receiving his call for help told him they had many duties in the course of a day, and responded to many calls, but his would not be one of them.

Here's the source.

You'll have a hard time believing what this Minnesota man's fetish is, and that he will be spending a year in jail because of it. Per the Duluth News Tribune:

Christopher Neil Bjerkness is not a rapist, but a Duluth judge lectured him on Wednesday that unless he stops carrying out a bizarre sexual fetish of slashing exercise balls with a knife, he could some day find himself facing an indeterminate civil commitment as a sexual psychopath.

Bjerkness was sentenced in St. Louis County District Court to 21 months in prison, but as part of a plea agreement the sentence was stayed for five years of supervised probation, which includes a one-year sentence at the Northeast Regional Corrections Center, where he will enter a sex offender treatment program.

Why jail?

The judge said no one wanted to send him to prison at this time but that his behavior was a violation of privacy and his predilection for the fetish seemed to be escalating.

And after that year in prison?

If he doesn’t change his ways, the judge said, Bjerkness could wind up in prison and potentially face a civil commitment process.

Sexual psychopaths can be civilly committed after their prison sentences when the court determines they still pose a risk to the public. It can be a lifelong commitment.

If you're wondering why Mr. Bjerkness does this ...

In a July interview, [he] told the News Tribune that he couldn’t explain his fetish. He said he suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome, bipolar depression and cerebral palsy. That information was later confirmed by his adoptive parents.

Does anyone else think that outpatient therapy would have been appropriate instead of jail?

Bjerkness said his fetish for exercise balls has nothing to do with the people who work or exercise at gyms and he doesn’t believe he is a threat to anyone. He is unemployed, but said he has worked mowing lawns, as a dishwasher and as a telemarketer.

No, this wasn't his first conviction. In 2005, he was convicted of ... breaking into a facility and ... damaging inflatable exercise balls.

Surely you can recall watching a show or a movie where the bad guy gets away, even though he was supposedly surrounded. And you said, or thought, "no way." Well, it happens in real life too. As reported in The Daily News (Galveston County):

The hijacker [of a cigarette delivery truck] accosted the truck driver as he made a delivery at Bulldog Lane and state Highway 6 in Hitchcock at 11:53 a.m. Tuesday. He led police on an Interstate 45 chase that went to League City, south again to La Marque and back to League City.

He's going in circles, and they're not going to catch him?

The pursuit, involving several police agencies ended shortly after noon when the hijacker crashed into a tree-lined fence south of League City United Methodist Church off Wesley Drive.

Police described the hijacker as a black man, who wore all black and was of medium height and build. Police last saw him armed with a gun as he ran into a neighborhood. That prompted heavily armed police to close streets in the area.

After all that, how could he escape?

Police wore bullet-resistant vests and went door-to-door looking for the gunman. After an extensive search using a police dog and helicopter surveillance, police were unable to find him, League City police Sgt. John Jordan said.

Fortunately, nobody was hurt. Here's the source.

It's not uncommon for people to try to shoplift by putting items down their pants. But an entire rack of ribs? Twice? Truth, as reported by The Sentinel (Pennsylvania).

After going three months without getting in trouble, a Carlisle man was back in police custody Sunday afternoon after trying to steal a rack or ribs by sticking them in his pants.

Carlisle police said Donald Noone, 65, attempted to pull the same stunt on May 22 at the Giant on South Spring Garden Street.

This next bit will shock you.

Both times, Noone was found to be "highly intoxicated" when he tried to steal the meat, police said.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Before I tell you what Christopher Lucero told New Mexico State Police Officer Kurtis Ward, just remember one thing: he was drunk! As reported in The Albuquerque Journal, Lucero said he was weaving because:

His passenger spilled his beer ...

Doh! There's more.

... next to Lucero, 31, was a half-emptied bottle of Corona in a cup holder, police said. And that wasn't even the beer he spilled. That was the one he had popped open to replace the one that had spilled on the floorboard while he went across three lanes of traffic on the interstate ...

What about the field sobriety tests? Lucero was too drunk to do them. And, this was his SIXTH DWI arrest. What was he still doing on the road?