Legal Juice

Mr. John Renshaw built a 2-story, 2-bedroom house inside a ... barn! Totally inside a barn! Why? Because he knew he couldn't get a permit to build it, and, per The Telegraph,

[Council officers] think he attempted to use a loophole in the law that states that properties built without planning permission are allowed to stand if they have been lived in and undetected for at least four years.

So you're probably wondering how long he managed to keep the house hidden? Turns out, it doesn't matter.

... the High Court recently ruled the four-year period only begins when any sheilding is removed, meaning that even if he had managed to hide the house and live in darkness for four years, he faced having to knock it down the moment it was unveiled.

Doh! Doh! Doh! Mr. Renshaw was ordered to demolish the house, or face a very stiff fine. He apparently complied. Click here to read a little more.

If you need a reminder of just how different cultures (and their customs and laws) can be, this ought to do it. As reported by The Times of India:

The incident took place in the tribal dominated Masinda village in Debagarh's Barkote police station area. It houses more than 40 tribal families. Surrounded by thick forests, the village is cut off from main land because of poor communication. The victim, identified as Mani Hanaga (50) became the lone bread earner of the family after her husband Sibio Hanaga became invalid last year.

"She had sown paddy seeds in her filed last month. But in tribal community, sowing seeds is considered a sin for women. It is against their custom. So they warned her and imposed a fine on her as they felt her act could displease the village deity. They asked her to pay Rs.10,000 along with a goat and 10 chickens to appease the village deity," a social activist from Barkote Surendra Guru said on Thursday.

A deity who is appeased by cash?

Guru, who visited the village after the incident, informed that the village body outcast her whole family after she refused to obey their direction. "When women take part in farming everywhere, why should I be stopped from sowing the seeds?", she asked.

Meanwhile, the district collector has taken the matter seriously. He has asked officials to look into the matter and submit a report for further action. "The incident has come to my notice and I have asked the local BDO to prepare a report on the issue. I will take action once I receive the report," Deogarh collector B B Jena said on Thursday.

You go Mr. Jena. Here's the source.

You have to be pretty hammered to think that the candor pander has any chance of working when you're driving drunk. As reported by www.beenews.com (New York):

A man was arrested for driving while intoxicated after patrol observed his vehicle 
pass 
through a steady red light at Seneca Creek Road and swerve several times on 
Union Road.

The 
man told patrol, “I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been drinking,” then produced a Rite Aid 
rewards card 
for ID instead of his driver’s license.

Doh!

No matter how desperate you are, you just don't steal from your Granny. Don't tell that to this fella in New York. As reported by northcountrynow.com:

St. Lawrence County Sheriff’s Deputies charged Codey A. Royce, 21, 38 Ames Rd., Edwards, with fourth-degree criminal mischief and petit larceny for allegedly stealing his grandmother’s safe and throwing it into the Oswegatchie River when he could not open it.

The safe belonged to Elizabeth Bishop, 28 Ames Rd., Oswegatchie. [aka "Granny"].

He was issued an appearance ticket for Edwards Town Court at a later date.

Hmm. Option 1: return the safe to Granny and still have no loot, but avoid Johnny Law (most likely). Option 2: throw the safe in the river, still have no loot, and get busted? And make your Granny retrieve her safe from the bottom of the river! Hmm. Tough choice right? Here's the source

Question: How petty was it? Answer: a sticky bun! As reported by WPTV:

A Florida man was arrested by police Monday after allegedly stealing a sticky bun from Walgreens, according to a Boynton Beach Police Dept. report.

Police say James Gomperts fled from police and then crashed his bicycle into a patrol car.

No! A fellow cyclist!

Gomperts was later taken to the Palm Beach County Jail where he was charged with the theft of the bun and resisting officers.

Here's the source, including the mug shot.

Yeah, you generally want to be clean when you leave the house. The Juice would suggest, though, that this does not apply when it's a house you've broken into! A Texas man would beg to differ. As reported by KETK News:

Around three thirty [Sunday] morning, [Tyler, Texas] officers got a call that someone had kicked in the door of a house on the 3300 block of Garden Valley Road.

Okay. Just another break-in ...

When officers entered the residence, they found 25 year-old Larry Ticey naked in the bathtub.

After a brief struggle, Ticey was arrested and taken to the Smith County Jail. He's charged with criminal trespassing.

I mean, really! Can't a man just take a bath in peace!

If the wacky law isn't bothering you, why bother the wacky law? Maybe to look like you are doing something? In any event, as reported by The Edinburgh Evening News:

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has launched a drive to banish both types, inviting people across the UK to nominate needless laws and excessive regulations which should be ditched.

Any examples?

Failing to report grey squirrels in your garden, it turns out, is illegal. So is being drunk in charge of a cow.

Fans of mince pies, though, should count their blessings that they don't live south of the Border, as eating the sweet treats on Christmas Day is still banned in England under a law brought in by Oliver Cromwell in the 17th century.

More? Okay.

It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the Queen's image upside-down.

A law passed in 1313 makes it illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour. Bizarrely, it is also illegal to die there – allegedly because anyone who dies in parliament is technically entitled to a state funeral and the authorities once wanted to guard against such potential expense.

And if you have to go to the bathroom ...

... a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants ...

But ...

It is apparently legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

There is also seemingly a law that if someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.

Good to know, that last one. Here are a few more:

It appears still to be illegal to stand within 100 yards of a ruling monarch if you are not wearing any socks.

It is also against the law to allow your pet to fornicate with any pet of the royal household.

Okay, so why bother?

Mr Clegg believes letting dormant laws accumulate on the statute book sends out the "wrong signal".

Really? The Juice feels otherwise, and agrees with Professor Kenneth Norrie, head of the law school at Strathclyde University.

"When I heard about this initiative, it struck me it was a bit of a wasted exercise," he says. "Civil servants will be able to advise ministers which laws are causing a nuisance by being there."

Hear, hear. Here's the source.

If you're a cornered criminal, sometimes just taking off is your best bet. But if you're going to do that, it's best not to leave any evidence behind. As reported in The Naples Daily News:

Cory L. Dalton had some simple advice for his mother, Lori Lynn Larocque, when Collier County sheriff’s deputies say they were caught shoplifting from a Kmart in June: "Run, ma, run."

Remember what The Juice said about the evidence?

Dalton and his mother did run, and got away temporarily. But Larocque left her debit card behind, and on Tuesday investigators located them at Dalton’s home and arrested them.

I thought you had it! Uh-uh. I thought you had it!

Both Dalton, 19, of the 4500 block of Coral Palm Lane, Golden Gate Estates, and Larocque, 38, of the 8900 block of Bonita Beach Road, Bonita Springs, were charged with petty theft. Dalton was also arrested on a warrant for failure to appear in court on a marijuana possession charge.

And in case the cops needed more evidence ...

Surveillance video showed a distinctive tattoo on Larocque’s arm. That tattoo was clearly visible when she was located.

Doh! Here's the source, including photos.

You're trying to get out of a bad situation. You have at your disposal a knife and ... your [alleged] flesh-eating-bacteria-infected penis. Which do you deploy first? Not a tough call, right? Here's how it played out in a Seattle Radio Shack, as reported by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

According to police reports regarding the Jan. 16 incident, a clerk at the 3rd Avenue electronics store spotted Anthony Joseph Urga attempting to steal two iPod Nano players. When the clerk and another employee confronted Urga, the man returned the iPods but refused to open his backpack to see whether he was attempting to steal additional items.

Should of just done it ...

"Urga then proceeded to plead with (the clerk) to allow him to leave, because he was sick," a Seattle police detective said in a June 9 affidavit. "When (the clerk) said no, Urga dropped his pants exposing his penis and stated that he had a 'flesh eating bacteria' and that he would expose (the clerk)."

Really? Not the knife?

The detective said Urga then drew a knife from his belt but was tackled before he could unfold the blade.

Too late ...

Urga was arrested and taken to King County Jail, which declined to admit him due to an unspecified medical condition, the detective said. The 42-year-old Loyal Heights resident was then driven to Harborview Medical Center; the detective told the court. Urga then walked out of emergency room.

Just walks right out of the ER!

Charged with second-degree assault, Urga is not currently in custody, according to jail records. A $50,000 warrant for his arrest has been issued.

Here's the source.

Darn it! I went and gave it away, didn't I? If I asked you to guess what some of the members of Polk County's High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area task force were doing while their coworkers were executing a search warrant, you'd probably guess "playing a Wii" right? As reported by Florida's News Channel 8:

With guns drawn and flashlights cutting through darkened rooms, Polk County undercover drug investigators stormed the home of convicted drug dealer Michael Difalco near Lakeland in March.

As investigators searched the home for drugs, some drug task force members found other ways to occupy their time. Within 20 minutes of entering Difalco's house, some of the investigators found a Wii video bowling game and began bowling frame after frame.

While some detectives hauled out evidence such as flat screen televisions and shotguns, others threw strikes, gutter balls and worked on picking up spares.

A Polk County sheriff's detective cataloging evidence repeatedly put down her work and picked up a Wii remote to bowl. When she hit two strikes in a row, she raised her arms above her head, jumping and kicking.

Now, you may be asking yourself "how did anyone find out about this?" The answer, loyal Juice readers, will surprise you:

... detectives with the Polk County Sheriff's Office, the Auburndale, Lakeland and Winter Haven police departments did not know that a wireless security camera connected to a computer inside Difalco's home was recording their activity.

Doh! You can read more (a lot) here and see excerpts of the security camera footage here.

Even in late 2009, long hair is STILL an issue in some schools. The crazy thing about this story is, we're talking about a 4-year-old boy! (Click on the link at the end of the post to see his picture.) Seems Taylor's long hair violates this Texas schools dress code. As reported by The Dallas Morning News:

It's too long, Mesquite ISD administrators say, and Taylor can't attend class with other students until he gets a haircut.

Since early November, the pre-kindergartner has had lessons with a teacher's aide in the library at Floyd Elementary School, cut off from other students. Neither his parents, who refuse to cut his hair, nor the school district is happy about that, but no one knows when it is likely to end.

A 4-year-old essentially in solitary confinement because of his hair. Brilliant!

"The school cannot give us an honest reason why we should force him to cut his hair. He loves his hair," said Taylor's father, Delton Pugh Jr., on Tuesday. "I'll move out of this school district before I'll force him to cut his hair."

According to Taylor's mother, Elizabeth Taylor, no one complained about her son's hair until October, when the principal told her it needed to be cut. She refused because he likes his hair long, his father has long hair and the family has American Indian heritage.

Even so, she tried to work with the school and this idiotic rule.

She did trim the child's hair along the sides and back, but school officials said it was still too long. She offered to put Taylor's hair in a pony tail and slick back the front so it "will look nice," she said.

Aaaargh! You can read more (a lot) and see a picture of Taylor here.

The old saw remains true: if it's sounds too good to be true, it is. So how did former high school secretary Caroline McNeal allegedly assure that her daughter increased her grades and SAT scores? Per The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

The first clue that something was amiss came when a high school guidance office employee in fall 2007 noticed that the SAT college entrance exam score in the school computer for Ms. McNeal's daughter was higher than the one sent by the College Board, 1730 vs. 1370.

Further investigation showed the girl's grades had been altered about 193 times in 24 courses between May 30, 2006 and July 12, 2007, covering school years from 2003-04 through 2006-07.

Many of the changes boosted grades that were already in the 90s, such as changing an accelerated social studies term grade from 94 to 95 and a family and consumer sciences final grade from 98 to 100.

In some cases, the increase was significant, such as raising an exam grade in advanced algebra from 69 to 94.

But that's not all. She's also charged with reducing the grades of two other girls!

The girls had higher class ranks than Ms. McNeal's daughter did before the grades were altered.

According to the affidavit, the grades of the two girls were changed by a couple of percentage points, such as reducing one's advanced algebra grade for one term from 96 to 94 and the other's accelerated English grade for a term from 96 to 93.

All very uncool, and felonious.

[Ms. McNeal] was charged with 29 counts of unlawful use of a computer and 29 counts of tampering with public records, all third-degree felonies.

Click here to read more.

Rule number one for a bank robber preparing a note for the teller: make it legible!

"Hokc ogll sht es wlll ikkk you! Now!"

I totally made that up. In her defense, Stephanie Martin's note probably wasn't that bad. Here's what happened, as reported by kptv.com in Oregon:

Hillsboro police said Stephanie Martin walked into a Wells Fargo bank in Hillsboro and handed the teller a note that read, "Need $300 or I'll kill you. I'm serious."

The teller told Martin she couldn't read the handwriting, police said. Martin then walked to a counter and re-wrote the note on a bank slip, according to Lt. Mike Rouches, of the Hillsboro Police Department.

The teller then hit the silent alarm and the bank's manager asked how he could help Martin, Rouches said.

Note, what note?

Martin then said she wanted to open an account with the bank, according to officers.

They bought it, right?

Police and FBI agents arrived at the scene and arrested Martin

Since EVERYBODY knows about silent alarms, dye packs, etc., there is only one possible explanation: drugs.

... police determined [Martin] was under the influence of drugs ...

Doh!

Paul Ewing was certainly a stand-up guy to admit killing his neighbor's plants with Roundup (in what has to be a unique way - see below). But was it really necessary to tell the police why he was mad at his neighbor? From The Bradenton Herald:

To get back at his neighbor for owing him money, Paul Ewing resorted to a series of drive-bys toting a water gun filled with Roundup weed killer, the Bradenton Police Department reports.

He told investigators that he was upset because his neighbor owed him more than $200 for drugs.

Brilliant!

The 35-year-old, who lives in the 100 block of 10th Street West, confessed to his actions after he was pulled over Thursday for driving with a suspended license.

In the front yard, Ewing gunned down flowers and bushes, the report stated. To get to the plants in the backyard, he filled water balloons with the weed killer and tossed them onto his neighbors property. Ewing estimated the landscaping damage to be about $250.

The Bradenton Police Department had been investigating the incidents that began May 1 and lasted until July 1.

Ewing was released from Manatee County jail Thursday after posting a $500 bond. He was charged with criminal mischief with property damage.

Here's the source.

You might think that the government official who represents the Motor Accidents Authority, and is also the Education Minister for over 1 million kids in New South Wales, Australia, biked to work to set a good example. You would be wrong. Minister John Della Bosca was riding his bicycle to work because he received seven speeding tickets, from the same camera, in the same place. So his driver's license has was suspended. Here he is!

See if you can follow this. So this lady's cat illegally (and stupidly) goes into the neighbor's yard. Why was it stupid? Because a pit bull resides there. Things got ugly, and the pair ended up under a neighbor's mobile home. Dog owner's sister tries to get cat out and, for her services, cat bites her hand. Dog owner then shoots the cat! Why? To protect herself, her sister, and the dog, from ... the cat. According to the cat's owner, the cat was just trying to get away from the dog [which wouldn't have been an issue if it wasn't illegally outside!]

Everyone got charged in this one. Dog owner was charged with animal cruelty (a felony) and discharging a firearm in public (a misdemeanor - sorry PETA, but shouldn't those charges be reversed?). Cat owner was cited for letting her cat loose, and improper vaccination documentation. The Juice suspects we've not heard the last of this. For the full story in The Lakeland Ledger, click here.

It's always a good idea to check your doctor out online before your first visit. Had some of Dr. George Korol's patients done so, they probably would have asked to see another doctor. As reported in The Edmonton Journal:

A Winnipeg doctor who previously lost his U.S. medical licence for violent criminal behaviour has been stripped of his ability to practise medicine in Manitoba ...

First question [rhetorical]: How did he ever get a license in Manitoba?

The provincial body that regulates doctors revoked Dr. George Korol's medical licence and registration at a discipline hearing on Aug. 31, according to new documents posted on the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Manitoba's website this week.

Korol was suspended in February 2009 after he was arrested on assault charges and accused of writing fake prescriptions.

A college investigation found Korol had an intimate sexual relationship with a female patient, "who was in a highly vulnerable psychological state and under financial stress."

So so low. How did he get the drugs for the vulnerable female patient?

Regulators discovered Korol wrote prescriptions for drugs in his wife's name which he gave to the female patient. He also obtained blood and cervical swabs from the patient which were submitted for testing under a different name, and prescribed antipsychotic drugs under his wife's name so he could use the drugs himself.

Korol "misled and failed to fully co-operate" with the investigation, and initially denied several of the improper activities. The investigation found Korol failed to inform the college he had been arrested and charged for domestic violence, uttering threats and possessing a weapon.

Hey college, nice background check. Way to protect your patients.

Or else what? If you don't like The Juice on Facebook, and/or follow him on Twitter (@LegalJuice), expect a visit from Officer Cartman. And you don't want to make Eric angry. Just ask Scott Tenorman what can happen when Eric gets angry. (Warning: If you really like chili, you won't like how this episode ends.)

So this woman is on a Delta flight that lands at Logan International Airport in Boston. As she would make sure everyone knows, she is FAMOUS! As reported in The Boston Globe:

The general manager of WHDH Channel 7 was arrested after an allegedly drunken, obscenity-laced tirade at Logan International Airport in which she threatened to call a news crew and put a state trooper "on TV and ruin [his] life," according to a police report.

Randi Goldklank flailed her arms and screamed at State Police when they took her into custody after her Delta flight landed Sunday night, according to the report. She had to be helped off the plane by two crew members, according to the report, and struck a trooper in the chest, breaking the prescription glasses in his pocket.

How much did she have to drink?

... she was overheard by police telling medical personnel that she had had "about three dozen drinks." Goldklank smelled of alcohol and was so intoxicated that police had difficulty booking her, the report stated

Holy Moses! Here are a few of her comments:

"I'm a big shot in Boston and I'll have your [expletive] jobs."

"You think you're a [expletive] tough guy, just you watch and see what the [expletive] happens to you when I get out of here."

You know I don't delete expletives, but "The Globe redacted the obscenities ..." Something changed because, after being so belligerent, Ms. Goldklank told one of the troopers:

'You think I’m cute and I think you're cute, just drive me home.'

Check out her defense:

Goldklank defended her behavior to the Boston Herald Monday night and told the paper she was inappropriately touched by a male passenger seated beside her.

But ...

There was no mention of the male passenger in the State Police report. Trooper Eric Benson, a department spokesman, said this morning that “there has been no complaint made to the State Police alleging any such improper contact.”

Ms. Goldklank was put on administrative leave. You can read more (including the police report - the link is in the 4th paragraph) here.

Remember that post about the woman who refused to return the "obscene" library book she checked out? (Hint: It was yesterday's post.) So do you think she returned the book, or was sent to jail? Wrong. Neither. The city (Lewiston, Maine) decided not to pursue the matter any further. Why? As reported in The Sun Journal:

[City Administrator Jim] Bennett .. said that proceeding with that kind of legal action [having Ms. Karkos put in jail] would have accomplished nothing. Putting the matter to rest, he said, is in the best interest of the city. It saves money that would need to be spent to pursue the case in court, he said, and will keep Lewiston from becoming the epicenter of the debate over decency in publications.

Ms. Karkos was pleased, no? No.

Karkos said she would have been happy to see it go further. By dismissing the matter, she said, the city is trying to make the issue go away.

"They didn't do me any favors," Karkos said Friday night. "They knew what they were doing. They were protecting themselves."

Will she pay the $100 fine imposed by the Court? You can read more here.

Maine resident JoAn Karkos said she'll take jail. And it's not because she likes the book, "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health." It's because "she claims [it] violates the city's obscenity ordinance," per The Sun Journal. What she's doing is just "civil disobedience." It's not working.

After Karkos' actions were picked up by the media, the library received eight copies of the sexual education book from people around the country, including parents and concerned educators, [Lewiston Public Library Director Rick] Speer said.

So, after she admitted to the Judge that she had the book, but wouldn't turn it over, what did the Judge do? She gave Karkos a few days to turn it over - after which she will face contempt of court charges.

If you ask a Los Alamos, New Mexico man named Variable, a lot. Variable wanted to change his name to Fuck Censorship. But Bernalillo County Judge Nan Nash refused his requested. So Variable appealed. The Court of Appeals ... denied it. Why? Per WTOPnews.com:

The man has the right to call himself whatever he wants, unless there's fraud or misrepresentation involved, the judges said.

But once he seeks court approval for a name change, the court has the authority to turn him down on several grounds, including if the name is offensive to common decency and good taste, the judges ruled.

You're not going to believe what Variable's old name was: Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokligon. You can read more here.

Some bank jobs are planned very well, at least in the movies. This was no movie-type heist. Per a report by wpxi.com:

A North Braddock man is behind bars after police said he robbed a Swissvale bank wearing a blond wig, fake breasts and clown pants.

Swissvale police Chief Greg Geppert said Dennis Hawkins, 48, was sitting in a parked car covered in dye from an exploding packet when he was arrested Saturday.

The most amazing thing about this is that there is still at least one person WHO DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE EXPLODING DYE PACK! The suspect stealthily entered the bank... um, not exactly ...

Geppert said Hawkins was spotted in a Giant Eagle grocery store before shoplifting a BB gun from K-Mart before entering the bank.

And then?

Authorities said Hawkins robbed the bank at gunpoint then dropped some of it after the dye pack blew up.

The bail? $230,000. Click here for the source, including video footage from the bank.

Hahaha. It's so funny to post videos of me doing illegal things! Trouble? No cop will see this. No way! As reported by wfsb.com:

A 19-year-old Watertown man was arrested after posting a two-minute video on Facebook that shows him ramming his car into  trash cans set out along a quiet street. 

Watertown police say Dylan Muscio slammed the Subaru station wagon he was driving into  two trash cans on Kimberly Lane before posting the video online.

Detectives said Muscio and an unidentified passenger intentionally rammed into Rinaldi's and her next door neighbor's garbage can with the car.

"It's a little scary. It looks like the video was during the day, and we have kids here playing all the time, " Rinaldi said.

Brilliant! Click here for the source, and to watch a news story about the incident (including some of the video).

It's a little strange to call 911 on yourself. It's even stranger if you're doing it because ...

"Basically I slapped him this morning because he wouldn't have sex with me, and he hasn't had sex with me in a couple of months, so I slapped him across the face and he wants me to go to jail," reported the caller.

So why did this South Carolina woman call the cops?

She also told officers her husband was going to call the police, so she would do it for him, according to the report.

But before you take me to jail ...

The wife then told the dispatcher she was going to change clothes and get ready for the police to arrive, because she didn't want to go to jail in a sweatshirt and a pair of boxer shorts she was wearing at the time.

What did the husband have to say?

The husband claimed she never hit him and she just wanted to go to the J. Reuben Long Detention Center.

Quite the interesting family. The source is WMBF News. Click here for more.

It's not uncommon for police officers to charge people who flip them off. When those people fight the charges, they win. But what about f-bombing a police officer? Well, that depends, as an Ohio woman recently found out. As reported in The Knoxville News Sentinel:

Dorthea Frazier’s son Cody was arrested by Akron police after a brief car chase. Dorthea Frazier yelled at the arresting officers: “What the f[uck] are you arresting my son for? What are you doing?” She then yelled at a lieutenant: “You f[uck]ing crooked a– cop” and “You’re a b[astard?].” [uncensored by The Juice].

The lieutenant apparently ordered her to desist from further yelling, but Frazier persisted. Officers on the scene testified that her cursing drew a growing crowd and presented a possibly dangerous situation.

Officers charged her with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. In the course of her arrest, she suffered a broken arm.

Her defense, of course, was the First Amendment. The result?

A jury found her guilty of disorderly conduct. During that trial, she requested a jury instruction on freedom of speech that read in part:

“In the event that you find that the Defendant’s conduct was Constitutionally protected free speech, then you must find the defendant not guilty. A person cannot be convicted of disorderly conduct based on the words the person has spoken because such speech is constitutionally protected unless the defendant’s words rise to the level of fighting words.

“A person cannot be convicted of disorderly conduct by the use of words because the First Amendment protects a significant amount of verbal criticism and challenge directed at police officers.”

The Judge refused the request. Ms Frazier appealed and ... lost. You can read a lot more here.

The dumb part? Getting so drunk that he passed out. The lucky part? That he passed out on train tracks. Yes, that is the "lucky" part because this youngster crashed in between the tracks. So when the train ran over him, per The Des Moines Register:

Two railroad engineers for Iowa Interstate Railroad said they saw 17-year-old Christian Latshaw on the railroad tracks as they were moving east and crossing a Des Moines River bridge to East First Street south of Court Avenue about 10:45 p.m., according to a Des Moines police report.

When the engineers, David Good Jr. and John Knutson, realized a person was in front of the train, they applied the emergency brake, but the engine and first car still went over the top of Latshaw before the train stopped.

Latshaw told officers he had been drinking at the 80/35 Music Festival, about a mile away, then blacked out and woke up on the tracks.

Officers said Latshaw had bloodshot, watery eyes and smelled of alcohol. He was taken to Mercy Medical Center for treatment of two lacerations on the back of his head and a bruise on his right thigh.

The charges?

Latshaw was arrested and received a delayed referral to juvenile court on trespassing and public intoxication charges, according to the police report.

Click here for the source.

So maybe it's an unusual way to round out your outfit, but to each his own. From www.pennlive.com:

A 21-year-old Harrisburg man who wears a red clown nose while walking in New Cumberland is not violent and poses no serious threat to the public, borough police said.

Witnesses told officers they've seen the man point a toy gun at passing traffic and stare at people walking by, police said. He's been cited for disorderly conduct three times since May, police said. 

The issue has garnered much attention on New Cumberland's Facebook page, where some people say they are concerned about him. New Cumberland police say the man is mentally ill.

Maybe turn that concern into a helping hand? Here's the source.

Oh the joy of setting off a bottle rocket - unless it's in ... your pants! As reported by The Highline Times (Washington):

Police responded to a call for medical assistance in the 12000 block of Ambaum Blvd. A man accidentally set off a bottle rocket firework in his pants. He was transported to Harborview by ambulance to be treated for superficial burns on his groin, face and hand. No other injuries were reported.

Oops.

It's like natural law - you don't have to write it down. It just is. Here's the natural law in question: You don't mess with someone's toothbrush. Period. Tell it to Ms. Deborah Woist who, according to the police, definitely messed with HER SON'S toothbrush. As reported by The Morning Call:

Investigators say Deborah Woist, 52, decided on July 18 to tidy up a bathroom inside her Springtown Hill Road because it hadn't been cleaned in two months. The problem, police said, is that she used her son's toothbrush for the job and later returned it to its holder.

Yikes.

The son, 26-year-old Justin Novack, called police claiming his mother applied feces to his tooth brush.

Zoinks. The cops? Yup.

When police arrived at the home, Woist admitted she used the brush for cleaning and then put it back on the holder, police said.

The Juice gives her props for fessin' up, though the cops clearly didn't.

Woist was cited for harassment, police said.

So she ends up cleaning the bathroom and getting busted for her unorthodox methods. Harsh.

&@#$#@)+&!!!! Everyone has thought about cussing someone out. Lots of us have done it. Not so many have done it on another attorney's voicemail. A longtime prosecutor in Clark County, Washington sure wishes he hadn't. As reported in The Columbian ...

A 27-year veteran attorney of the Clark County Prosecutor’s Office — who has tried a number of high-profile criminals — has been demoted after leaving an explosive, profanity-laced two-minute voice-mail message on a defense attorney’s cellphone.

What made Mr. David so angry?

The situation started May 25, when [prosecutor Jim] David received an email from defense attorney John Terry notifying him that the defense attorney was prepared to go to trial the following week. Terry was representing Matthew L. Coonce, arrested on March 3 on suspicion of possessing methamphetamine and stealing a car.

David was under the impression that Terry wanted to postpone Coonce’s trial, so David said he had already scheduled several conflicting appointments. The next day, he called Terry, telling him a trial would force him to "cancel my weekend."

Here it comes (with expletives reinserted):

"You’ve been telling me you wanted a continuance on the [fucking] case, and now you are telling me you want to go to trial next week," David said in the voice mail. "I’m [fucking] laying you out. This is absolute [bullshit]."

David went on to say harsh words about [defendant] Coonce.

"It’s coming out of your client’s hide if I have to go to trial next week, and there ain’t going to be no stinking offers," David said in the message. "There ain’t going to be nothing coming other than go to prison for a very long time."

Although Mr. David has paid a price for losing his temper, he was right about that last bit.

Prior to trial, Terry filed a motion to dismiss the case because he felt David was guilty of telephone harassment and his actions unfairly prejudiced his client. Clark County Superior Court Judge Barbara Johnson denied the motion. The case went to trial and Coonce was convicted on June 3.

You can read a fair amount more here.

Everyone speeds some. This Illinois gentleman, though, is in a class by himself. Let's hope so, anyway. From the pages of The Beacon News:

At 182 mph, Rodney Jones was covering almost the length of a football field every second on his Suzuki Hayabusa motorcycle.

That is not a typo. 182! This probably won't surprise you:

.... Jones, 39, has what officers believe is the fastest speeding ticket ever recorded in the Chicago area — and likely the state.

Hell, probably the world.

“When I looked at the radar and saw 182, I couldn’t believe it,” said Heinzl, who clocked Jones going more than three miles a minute in what he characterized as “moderate” traffic, before Jones surprised him by stopping.

“I asked him why he didn’t run and he said, ‘I wasn’t in the mood to run. If I’d wanted to run, I’d have run.’”

It's unlikely he displayed the same demeanor before the court, because he surely could have done a lot worse.

Jones was fined $375 and ordered to buy high-risk insurance, according to court records and the Illinois Secretary of State.

Click here for the full story, including a photo of Mr. Jones.