Legal Juice

Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when ... [I'll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don't write them like they used to.]

It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting "sicker and sicker." Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]

I ... think ... I'm ... going ... to ... be .........sick. So I guess you know what happened to Pillars at the trial court.

Continue reading "Excuse Me, But There's A Rotten Toe In My Chewing Tobacco!" »

Nothing wrong with shooting at cans with a .22 ... unless it's in the middle of a suburban neighborhood! What kind of dope would do this? This kind, as reported at www.thedestinlog.com:

Two men were arrested Thursday after a homeowner on Pompano Street complained he'd found two bullet holes in his garage door.

That's a little frightening, but it gets worse.

According to a Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office release, while the homeowner was showing a deputy the damage, a bullet passed within 2 feet of the deputy and hit the garage door.

Oh, now it's on.

Backup units were called and four men were found in the back yard of another home on the same street.

The men had been firing a bolt action, .22 caliber rifle. Two of the men, twin brothers Tyler and Nicholas Hulick, both 19, had fired the rifle at a can and a tree in the back yard.

When Tyler fired a shot that hit the homeowner's garage, one of the men with him told him he "nearly hit someone" and to "not shoot again."

Good advice. Surely he listened to his twin brother.

Nicholas then took the gun from Tyler and said, "I wanna shoot some gun," the release said. Nicholas fired four to six shots in the same direction.

Clearly theses dudes are not "identical" twins.

The can the two men were aiming at was on top of a privacy fence. Nicholas told deputies he shot at a tree in the back yard for a "very short time" before deputies arrived.

From the spot where the men were shooting there was a clear line of sight to the home where the deputy and the homeowner were standing. The two other men present did not fire the rifle. Both brothers were arrested and transported to the Santa Rosa County Jail.

The charges?

Nicholas Scott Hulick was charged with improper exhibition of a firearm, discharging a firearm in public and shooting into a dwelling. He was released on an $11,000 bond. Tyler Grant Hulick, was charged with improper exhibition of a firearm and discharging a firearm in public. He was released on a $2,000 bond.

Sounds about right to The Juice. Here's the source.

It is true that "shock" can mask a lot of things, but this? Per The Sun ...

A mugging victim had a six inch knife plunged deep into her back — and she didn't even feel it.

Skeptical? Check out the picture here.

Incredibly the 22-year-old, who was knifed by a mugger on her way home from work, failed to notice the appalling injury and managed to calmly stroll to safety.

The office worker had grappled with her attacker when he snatched her handbag as she walked to her parents' house in the Russian capital Moscow.

But she was so shocked by the ordeal she didn't know that the thug had buried a kitchen knife in her neck just fractions of an inch from her spinal cord.

When she got home her horrified parents rushed her to hospital where surgeons managed to remove the blade without damaging Julia's spine.

Crazy.

Why would prisoners be forced to play computer games? In a word: cashish. (Money). As reported by The Guardian:

As a prisoner at the Jixi labour camp, Liu Dali would slog through tough days breaking rocks and digging trenches in the open cast coalmines of north-east China. By night, he would slay demons, battle goblins and cast spells.

Liu says he was one of scores of prisoners forced to play online games to build up credits that prison guards would then trade for real money. The 54-year-old, a former prison guard who was jailed for three years in 2004 for "illegally petitioning" the central government about corruption in his hometown [wow - you get paid for that in the States], reckons the operation was even more lucrative than the physical labour that prisoners were also forced to do.

"Prison bosses made more money forcing inmates to play games than they do forcing people to do manual labour," Liu told the Guardian. "There were 300 prisoners forced to play games. We worked 12-hour shifts in the camp. I heard them say they could earn 5,000-6,000rmb [£470-570] a day. We didn't see any of the money. The computers were never turned off."

Maybe the work was virtual, but the punishment related to it was very real.

"If I couldn't complete my work quota, they would punish me physically. They would make me stand with my hands raised in the air and after I returned to my dormitory they would beat me with plastic pipes. We kept playing until we could barely see things," he said.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Sure, there's an old saw about "hiding in plain sight." But really, does it sound like a good idea to grow marijuana on school property? And if you're going to throw out there that it was in "a wooded area," you probably think that "hiding in plain sight" is actually a good idea. As reported by News4Jax.com:

A homeless man was arrested Monday after a school resource officer at Lake City Middle School [Florida] found several marijuana plants growing in a wooded area on school property, Columbia County deputies said.

Detectives said they were able to use surveillance of the area to find 33-year-old Damon Crosby caring for the plants.

Crosby was arrested while taking care of the plants Monday and was booked into the Columbia County Detention Facility with bail set at $16,000.

The nine marijuana plants ranged from 1 foot to 2.5 feet in height. The estimated value of the plants is more than $5,000.

The charges?

... cultivation of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and trespassing on school grounds.

Here's the source, including a mug shot.

It's great that this dude went to the courthouse to pay a traffic ticket. But to go into the courthouse with cocaine, a syringe, and drug paraphernalia? And to have more goodies in your car? As reported by the Galveston County Daily News:

When the 30-year-old Santa Fe man pulled up to the court, which is next door to the police station, a Santa Fe police officer recognized him from a drug bust in February, Santa Fe Sgt. Eric Bruss said.

Uh-oh.

“The officer also knew (he) had a suspended driver’s license,” Bruss said.

The officer went into the courtroom to arrest the man and charge him with driving with a suspended license.

During a search after arresting the man, police said they found a syringe, a bag with less than a gram of cocaine and some drug paraphernalia, Bruss said.

Doh!

A search of the man’s car uncovered a scale and materials often connected to drug sales and what police believe was a drug pipe.

Doh! The Juice does not know if they went to his house, but has some idea what they might find there. And if the above wasn't bad enough ...

Ryan Dan Wheeler, who is still facing methamphetamine possession charges from a bust three months ago, was charged with possession of a controlled substance and was being held in the county jail on $70,000 bond.

Does anyone else find it odd that this particular gent went to court to pay a traffic ticket? Here's the source.

At any given time, most students dislike at least one of their teachers. That said, you can't just go around putting STAPLES in a disfavored teacher's coffee! As reported by WHSV (Virginia):

As of Tuesday, charges have been filed against a 15-year-old William Monroe High School student for allegedly putting staples in his teacher's ice coffee.

In case you might be thinking the charge is a misdemeanor ...

At a court hearing Monday, the teen was charged with felony adulteration of food, drink, drugs, cosmetics, etc. with the intent to kill or injure any individual who ingests, inhales or uses such substance.

And if you're wondering how the staples went down, surprisingly, the answer is: unnoticed.

The victim of the assault, a ninth grade English teacher, unknowingly drank the staple-spiked coffee May 10 but was not seriously injured.

But that may not be the end of it for the teacher.

Maj. Randall Snead, with the Greene County Sheriff's Office, reports authorities are monitoring the teacher's condition since the damage caused by the staples may not be readily apparent.

Here's the source.

(source: e-boost consulting)

Not only did this gent have an interesting method of shoplifting shoes, but he took orders by text! As reported by www.fox41.com:

An arrest report for 36-year-old Sean A. Harrington lists him as "not employed," but some may say that's debatable after reading the description of his alleged crimes. Police say he was caught stealing merchandise from Rack Room Shoes on S. Hurstbourne Pkwy., near Six Mile Lane, on Friday afternoon. According to the report, Harrington was allegedly, "concealing shoes down the front of his pants" and left the store without paying.

That can't be too comfortable ...

From there, he allegedly proceeded to a Marshalls clothing store, and allegedly stole clothing valued at $99.95.

Police eventually caught up with Harrington and arrested him.

Let's go to the videotape ...

When a security at Rack Room Shoes reviewed their surveillance records, they discovered that Harrington had stolen a total of $539.89 worth of goods from their store between April 17 and May 20.

And how did the police figure out he was taking orders? Easily.

Upon Harrington's arrest, police were able to examine his cell phone -- and they made a significant discovery. The arrest report states that the phone, "had numerous text messages of others ordering merchandise from [Harrington], who would then go out and steal specific items."

Doh!

He was charged with receipt of stolen property and theft by unlawful taking.

Here's the source.

Over the years, The Juice has had many personal injury cases where folks have attempted to avoid service of process. Guess how many of them were eventually served? All of them! Here's a story of a man who really did not want to be served, as reported by Ocala.com:

The victim [process server] told authorities he went to the Southwest Ocala home early in the day but was told by a woman that her father was not there and that he should come back after 6 p.m.

Not uncommon, but ...

The man said he returned to the home and got out of his vehicle and was approached by several dogs, which were aggressive. He said he was afraid of being bitten so he used pepper spray to stop the dogs from attacking him.

Whew. But that was just the first line of defense.

Then, he said, a man standing by the front window watching him came out of the home with a black semi-automatic weapon and fired a shot over his head.

The official said he first hid behind his car, then got in the vehicle and drove away and called law enforcement.

So much for not shooting the messenger.

Deputies arrived and detained David W. Fisher, 57. He told them he deliberately let his dogs outside because they are trained guard dogs and he knew the court official would be back to serve him paperwork. Fisher was charged with aggravated assault and threatening a public official.

You'll find the source here.

There are more 5 million people in Scotland. So would it shock you to learn that some people have the same name? Me either. One name that at least 2 people in Scotland share is "Derek Lyon." One of them is a convicted drunk driver who lost his license, and the other is ... just Derek Lyon. Guess who the police busted? The wrong Derek Lyon. He told them that - but - you see - the machine had spoken.

And it got worse after the bogus bust. Mr. Lyon was taken to jail, where he spent 4 hours before being released. His car was impounded. Because he couldn't afford to pay the fees to get his car back, the police CRUSHED it! Nooooooooo! Without his car, Mr. Lyon couldn't get to work, and was fired. He also couldn't visit his kids for months because he lacked transportation. (He was arrested in July, and just recently acquitted.)

Think he's going to sue? Hell yes. As reported by Scotland TV:

Speaking after his court appearance, Mr Lyon, 36, of Balgarthno Terrace in Dundee, said he was going to sue Aberdeen Sheriff Court's clerk's office, the DVLA and Tayside Police.

He said: "I'm going to take legal action against the police for taking my car, the DVLA for putting somebody else's offence on my licence, and the court in Aberdeen.

"I haven't been able to drive until today. I spent four hours in the cells when I got arrested and my car got crushed even though I told them at the time it wasn't me.

"The police came the next day and I told them again that I'd never been in Aberdeen Sheriff Court and that I wasn't disqualified. The police in Dundee didn't believe me but a local policeman in Blairgowrie where I lived at the time did and he tried to sort things out for me."

To see the story as reported by Scotland TV, click here.

So maybe it's not CSI, but it's damn impressive nevertheless. As reported by www.big1059.com out of Miami,Florida:

An Akron man who pleaded guilty to aggravated burglary and robbery will spend six years in prison. 40-year-old Charles Smallwood was also sentenced to an additional four years on two other pending cases for a total ten year sentence.

About the duct tape ...

The victim, who was 91-years-old at the time of the offense, was awakened around 2:30 a.m. on August 5 when two men broke into his house. The burglars put duct tape on one of the windows so there would not be noise when they broke in.

The burglars went to the victim’s bedroom and pushed him around demanding money. The victim began to yell, at which point they found some money in the pants he had worn that day. They took off before police got there.

The victim could not identify the suspects, so DNA was taken from the duct tape on the window. There was a hit on Smallwood and a swab was obtained. His DNA matched the DNA on the duct tape.

Bam! Nicely done, officers. Here's the source.

Why would a German company have a party for its top salesmen in Budapest, Hungary? Could it be because prostitution is legal in Hungary? Hmmm. As reported by the BBC:

Munich Re is the world's biggest re-insurer - in other words, the company acts as an insurance company for other insurance companies. One of its divisions, Ergo, told the BBC that the party had taken place to reward salesmen in 2007.

The gathering was held at a thermal baths in the Hungarian capital Budapest as a reward to particularly successful salesmen.

Oh, and you might not want to bring your wives ...

There were about 100 guests and 20 prostitutes were hired.

A German business newspaper said the prostitutes had worn colour-coded arm-bands designating their availability, and the women had their arms stamped after each service rendered.

Wonder what those stamps look like ...

According to [the newspaper] Handelsblatt, quoting an unnamed participant, guests were able to take the women to four-poster beds at the spa "and do whatever they liked".

"There were also women with white wrist bands. They were reserved for board members and the very best sales reps."

What did the company have to say about the party?

A spokesman for Ergo told the BBC that the party had happened, but said it was not the usual way of rewarding their employees.

This will not help in recruiting salesmen. Perhaps "no comment" would have been better ... Here's the source.

Better lucky than good? Hell yeah! And nobody knows it better than this Wisconsin driver. As reported by The Green Bay Press-Gazette:

According to the police report:

 [Nichole] Lavin was traveling northbound on Memorial Drive at a high rate of speed and swerving in and out of traffic when she lost control of her car.

Uh-oh.

Witnesses said her vehicle struck the median, went airborne, crossed the southbound lane and then rolled four times before landing in the front yard of a home in the 3600 block of Memorial Drive. 



Damn! But wait. Then ...

Lavin was thrown from the car, likely through a back window that was already broken, flew through the branches of a pine tree and landed on the garage roof of the home. 



On the garage roof, out cold ... What? Not out cold?

Lavin climbed off the roof, with help from bystanders, and tried walking away from the scene.

Clearly this woman needs to capitalize on her superpowers. Or play the lottery. Who walks away from all that? And you'll be shocked to hear that ...

Alcohol was a factor in the accident.

Here's the source.

So maybe watching TV isn't the most social activity. Nevertheless, it's still more enjoyable to watch TV with someone else, right? Well, what if the "someone else" is a complete stranger, who walked in off the street? As reported by The Arab Times:

In a bizarre incident, an unidentified person took the liberty to enter the house of a Kuwaiti man and switch on the TV in the sitting room, reports Al-Rai daily.

According to reports this happened when the Kuwaiti with his wife was sitting in the first floor balcony of his apartment and he heard the TV sound coming from the sitting room below.

When he went down the stairs to check he found a stranger watching the TV. When the Kuwaiti approached him the intruder did not even make an attempt to escape rather he agreed to go to a police station.

Wacky.

Remember, The Juice said this was "a solution" not a good one. The solution? Grab your 22 and shoot the dog. That's just what a town councilman in Utah did. Yikes. As reported by The Salt Lake Tribune:

Rick E. Wilberg, 58, was arrested after he admitted to killing his neighbor’s dog [a 9-month-old teacup chihuahua!] with a .22-caliber rifle. The dog, named Rocky, belonged to Peggy Redmiles, whose three-quarter acre lot shares a fence line with Wilberg’s property.

Police reported that children had been playing nearby when Wilberg shot the dog. When police spoke with Wilberg, he admitted to shooting the dog, saying “he had been sick of listening to the dog bark and warned her and she done nothing about the dog so he shot the dog,” the police report states. He also had been drinking vodka.

He warned her! And she did nothing! This does not strike The Juice as a very good defense. (Mind you, The Juice is a personal injury lawyer, not a criminal lawyer.) As you might have guessed, Mr. Wilberg had other problems with his neighbor.

Redmiles, who moved into their home six years ago, describes her relationship with Wilberg becoming contentious about three years ago, for reasons she still doesn’t understand. She said that he complained about her chicken coop, over-watering her garden and the noises her swimming pool made. She said she has since gotten rid of the chickens and garden, and turns the pool off at night to try to keep the peace.

The charges?

Wilberg was booked into the Duchesne County Jail on suspicion of animal cruelty, a third-degree felony, and for public intoxication.

Here's the source.

So you're drunk, and you're driving a car. The cops pull you over. Yet they don't charge you with drunk driving. In fact, they can't. If it sounds like a riddle, the answer is: the drunk driver was a 9-year-old boy! As reported by The Sun:

The lad was breathalysed by police and taken into custody after they spotted him behind the wheel in Cumbria.

But they were forced to let him back on the streets as his age meant he was not old enough to be held accountable for his actions.

The child, who has not been named, was among thousands of under 18s arrested in the north of England over the past two years.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

No doubt Ponce de Leon High School (Florida) Principal David Davis would deny it's hatin'. Decide for yourself. As reported by the Student Press Law Center:

The lawsuit, filed Thursday [by a junior at the school], alleges that Principal David Davis told several students who were wearing rainbow belts and shirts and writing pro-gay expressions on their hands that supporting gay and lesbian rights was impermissible at the school. Davis suspended several of the students, leading junior Heather Gillman to question what expressions the school board prohibits.

Benjamin James Stevenson, a Florida ACLU attorney representing Gillman, sent a letter to the school board asking for guidance on what was regarded as permissible speech. The letter included 16 examples of phrases, symbols and images, such as "I Support My Gay Friends," "GP [Gay Pride]" and "Pro-Gay Marriage," and asked which if any of the symbols or phrases students could wear at school.

Brandon J. Young, an attorney for the school board, replied in a Nov. 12 letter that none of the symbols or phrases would be allowed. The letter said that, although the school board does not restrict pro-gay or anti-gay expression as such, school policy bars students from wearing anything "that may reasonably disrupt and interfere with the educational process of that student or other students."

No! No! Not .... the rainbow! We're doomed! So how much loot is the student asking for? A dollar.

The complaint asks the court for an injunction to prohibit school officials from suppressing students' First Amendment rights. Among other things, the suit also asks for $1 in nominal damages, attorney fees and a declaration that the school violated Gillman's rights.

To read more (a fair amount) click here.

UPDATE: A federal judge awarded the students' attorneys $325,000 in fees, finding that the school principal violated the students' first and fourteenth amendment rights. You can read a lot more here.

Apparently looking different is a problem in East Cooper, South Carolina. Two teens must have known this when they hatched their plan, which The Juice has dubbed "The Spandex Chronicles." As reported by The Post and Courier:

Two teens wearing black from head to toe drew suspicion at a local pharmacy about 3 p.m. April 20 and police were called, a report states.

All black? Head for the hills!

On the way to the pharmacy, Mount Pleasant police were told by dispatchers that the boys had left the pharmacy and were walking around the mall parking lot. Dispatchers said the boys were wearing black suits that covered them from head to toe.

Police looked for the boys but couldn't find them, so they went to the pharmacy that had reported the teens. A woman working there was visibly nervous and told police what the boys looked like, the report says.

We got ourselves a manhunt!

Another officer had found the boys walking near another pharmacy. The teenagers said they bought the spandex black suits from an online website and that they were walking around just looking for attention. They said their parents had dropped them off.

Whew. That was a close one! What did the police do with the boys?

Police told the teenagers about the impression they had made and called their parents to pick them up.

You mean the same parents who dropped them off? Here's the source.

If this boy can't get his candy on, well, there's gonna be trouble. And there was. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

According to a Niceville (yes, Niceville!) police report, the [13-year-old] boy was told by his mother that he could not have any candy.

Oh shizzle.

The boy told his mother, "(Expletive) you, (expletive)" and refused to go home.

Two of the three quoted words deleted? Not cool, or necessary. Let The Juice attempt to decode it for you. "Fuck you, bitch." (Deep breath. Another deep breath. There - everyone alright?)

Mom was not hearing any of that. So ...

The woman said she attempted to whip the boy with a belt on his rear end, but he turned around and was struck on his arm.

The 13-year-old then turned around and punched his mother.

That oughta get you a battery charge. It did. Any defense there, sonny?

The boy told officers the incident happened because of candy that he wanted to get for someone else and not for himself.

Oh, well in that case ... Here's the source.

To be fair to Cuyahoga Falls City Councilman Jerry James, perhaps this is not his signature legislative initiative. Maybe he'll tackle the saggy pants problem next. But about the proposed ordinance that will no doubt vault Cuyahoga Falls City to the top of the "best places to live" list, as reported by AkronNewsNow.com:

Cuyahoga Falls City Council will see legislation introduced tonight to control those bird feeders in back yards across the city.

Councilman Jerry James tells AkronNewsNow.com "There's a lot of seed that comes out on to the bird feeders, and they spill on to the ground, and the seeds that aren't eaten by the birds decay and then some birds will come and get them, and then they end up getting sick and dying."

Before you panic, this epic legislation would not ban bird feeders. It would simply regulate them.

James says his proposed ordinance would deal with the maintenance of the bird feeders, making sure that the overflow does not lay down on the ground, decay, and cause a problem.

So it's a jobs bill! They'll need at least one bird feeder inspector, right? Here's the source.

A despicable Wisconsin man pleads "no contest" to molesting four young boys. Before sentencing him (to 7 years), Waupaca County Judge Philip Kirk had some interesting things to say, including the following, as reported by fox11online.com:

In his pre-sentence comments he challenged Delton Gorges' claim of being heterosexual.

"I think you were born gayer than a sweet-smelling jockstrap,” said Judge Kirk.

If you're not scratching your head, then please explain to The Juice exactly what a "sweet-smelling jockstrap" is. There's more.

“I think that if anyone believes that in the last 10 years or 15 years all of a sudden you developed an interest in homosexuality and young boys, then I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress this year,” Kirk said.

Certainly some strange imagery, but the point is well-taken. The judge did, though, express some empathy for the defendant, albeit in a strange way.

At one point, Judge Kirk said he believes Gorges was a victim of society's homophobic attitude, especially considering the era in which Gorges grew up.

“I can't imagine in the '40s or '50s admitting your sexual orientation,” said Judge Kirk. “No one knew there was a closet to come out of in those days. You know you had to be very careful because you could have found your penis floating in the Wolf (River) as walleye bait. It was a terrible life to have to live.”

Say what? You can read more here, and watch a courtroom video of the judge in action here.

Ecotourism is so yesterday. There's a new kind of tourism you may not have heard of. Per Whatcom County (Washington) Sheriff Bill Elfo, as reported in The Seattle Times:

[Douglas Spink] was "promoting tourism of this nature for bestiality."

Oh my.

When county deputies and federal investigators searched the property they found videotapes that included images of a man, who was visiting the property, having sex with several large-breed dogs.

The man, a 51-year-old British national, was arrested for investigation of four counts of bestiality, Elfo said. He is being held in the Whatcom County Jail in lieu of $150,000, Elfo said.

How do federal prosecutors allege this all came about?

Douglas Spink, 39, a one-time dot.com millionaire, convicted drug smuggler and horse trainer, was quietly living on rural property south of Sumas when he connected with James Tait, who was in a Tennessee jail on a bestiality charge.

Tait had earlier been convicted of trespassing in 2005 in the Enumclaw case, in which a Gig Harbor man died after having sex with a horse.

The two men's communications set in motion an investigation that resulted in Spink's arrest Wednesday at the Sumas farm for suspicion of violating his federal probation for drug smuggling. Federal prosecutors and Whatcom County sheriff's officials say Spink also allowed people to come to the farm and have sex with animals.

This is a wild one, readers. You should click here to read a lot more.

You just have to wonder WTF this Kansas woman was thinking, or drinking, or ... As reported by The Wichita Eagle:

Police said the woman reportedly pulled into the driveway of a house in the 5000 block of West Douglas at about 8:20 p.m. Wednesday. She got out, urinated in the yard and then slapped a 3-year-old child in the face a number of times.

She then drove away, pulling into a second yard and then a third, where she ran over a mailbox. The locations were several blocks apart, Capt. Darrell Atteberry said.

The woman was pulled over at a fourth address and taken into custody.

Yikes.

If you blamed your mom for the severing of your pinky, would you sue her? A contractor in New Jersey did. As reported at NorthJersey.com:

In 2006, John P. Garrity was installing hardwood floors for his mother, Nancy, when the accident occurred, according to court papers. While working with a miter saw in her garage, Nancy came up behind John and tapped him on his right shoulder. In depositions, John Garrity said that when he quickly turned around, his finger slipped into the saw’s path and severed his pinky.

Yikes. The case went to trial. The verdict? $95,500 for Mr. Garrity, plus $18,500 for medical expenses. The actual award was double that, but the jury found that Mr. Garrity was 50% responsible.

American Airlines Pilot James Yates showed up at the Manchester, England airport for the Manchester- to-Chicago flight. Yes he was a little late, and DRUNK! Almost 8 times the legal limit.

It seems that Mr. Yates had been out drinking with his two co-pilots the night before. He visited at least 4 pubs before returning to his hotel. He then took a sedative around midnight. He was awakened at 9:00 a.m. the next morning by his captain's banging on the door. But what about that bottle of Irish whiskey he had purchased the day before? One-third of it was gone! Mr. Yates said he had no memory of drinking it.

When he arrived at the airport, Yates could not find his security pass. He smelled strongly of alcohol and had a red face. Hmmmmm. He was charged with carrying out an activity ancillary to an aviation function while over the drink limit.

HIs trial lasted three days. Testifying for Mr. Yates were senior American Airlines executives, and Brigadier General Thomas Botchie, who was a fighter pilot with Mr. Yates. The defense theory was a good one - he never intended to fly. He went to the airport (in full uniform) to tell his captain that he was unable to fly. Did the jury believe him?

You bet your Irish whiskey they did. It took them only 90 minutes to acquit Mr. Yates, who then slapped his colleagues on the back and simply smiled, but did not comment.

To read more about this story, click here.

Sure, it's so easy to say - "just keep your eyes on the road." Some distractions are not that easy to ignore. Such was the case on I-95 in Connecticut, as reported by The Online Hour (Norwalk) Connecticut).

A naked man "yelling that he was Jesus" was the catalyst for a five-vehicle accident on I-95 Northbound near exit 16 early Saturday morning that injured three people, mangled a tandem tractor-trailer truck and slowed traffic to a crawl for nearly six hours, according to Darien Police Sgt. Jeremiah P. Marron Jr.

Marron said Darien Police responded to a call regarding a nude male causing a disturbance on I-95 north at exit 14. When police arrived, they saw the man hop into a silver car. With assistance from Norwalk and State Police, Darien officers were able to pull the car over near exit 16.

Now that has the makings of an interesting traffic court proceeding!

A young lady (19 years old) in Georgia was busted for passing a stopped school bus. She claims she didn't see it because her view was blocked by 2 trucks. The judge didn't buy it, and, per the Atlanta Journal Constitution, sentenced her to ...

..write 2,500 times, “I will not dishonor myself by passing a school bus.”

Nancy Nguyen was ordered to write that sentence and pay a $350 fine, perform community service and take a defensive driving course for passing a stopped school bus in Forest Park in March.

So what's the problem? She won't write the sentence.

Nguyen refused to write the sentences because, she said, she didn’t intentionally pass the stopped bus; two tractor-trailer trucks blocked her view, she said. She said she would go to jail rather than write the sentences because she did not feel she had dishonored herself.

"I'm not going to demean myself and be demeaned by other people," Nguyen told WSB-TV last week.

The Juice is without sufficient information to comment on the merits of her decision. This much is clear, though - she's got guts.

(Prepare to hit "pause" if you want to read these.)

It's unlikely you'll ever read another story like this. An inmate trying to stop guards from fighting? Actually, there's a simple explanation: the dude liked the guards. As reported by The Buffalo News:

An inmate at the Erie County Correctional Facility lost a tooth last week when he intervened in a fight between two corrections officers scrapping over a bag of chips, prison personnel told The Buffalo News.

A bag of chips?!

[Undersheriff Mark] Wipperman said the disagreement began over "what appears to be the dissemination of food products." A source familiar with the event said a bag of potato chips somehow sparked the fight. He asked to remain unidentified because he lacks permission to disclose information about the facility.

Wipperman said the inmate told internal investigators that he got involved because he likes both officers and didn't want them to lose their jobs.

Here's the source.

(No, not in the book.) Warning: This post is not suitable for children. And The Juice isn't just saying that to pique your interest. You will not believe this woman's hiding place. As reported by The News-Press:

A Pompano Beach woman is in custody at the Lee County Jail for possession of a counterfeit driver's license and a fraudulent credit card, which she allegedly hid inside her vagina.

Shazam!

According to the Lee County Sheriff's Office, Ann Marie Hernandez,46, was arrested during a traffic stop on Interstate 75 on Friday night when deputies discovered thousands of dollars in items bought with a fraudulent credit card aboard her vehicle.

Members of the Highway Interdiction Unit pulled her vehicle over at about 7 p.m. Upon making contact with the driver, the detective immediately noticed the vehicle was full of high-end power tool equipment, some of which still had security tags attached.

As the investigation unfolded, a detective determined the items were recently purchased at a Cape Coral Home Depot using a fraudulent credit card account.

Home Depot was contacted and Citibank confirmed the fraudulent transactions totaling more than five-thousand dollars. Nearly half of the fraudulent items purchased were recovered during the traffic stop.

Yeah. Yeah. But how do you get from there to ...

After a female deputy was called to the scene, Hernandez admitted to concealing a fraudulent credit card and fraudulent Florida driver’s license inside her vagina.

Say what? Having gone to the trouble of concealing the items in this manner, it's unlikely Ms. Hernandez would have just fessed up. So? For now anyway, it's a mystery. Here's the source, including a mug shot.

What's next? Tasing every pulled-over motorist before requesting a license and registration? For god's sake man, you don't have to tase someone just because you can! Here's a ridiculous story out of Cincinnati, as reported by WKRC:

A St. Paris, Ohio man, not even registered in the Flying Pig Marathon, caused quite a commotion at the race Sunday morning.

Not registered? Tase him!

Police say 35-year old Brett Henderson was running down the course completely naked.

Naked? Tase him!

Officers told him several times to stop and get in a police cruiser, but Henderson did not listen.

Not listening? Tase him!

Police took him into custody in front of the Greyhound Bus Station on Gilbert Avenue, after using a taser on him.

The Juice doesn't know where the offficer aimed the taser, but if he had to guess ... Here's the source.

You hear "police chase," you think of police cars chasing a car, usually a drunk driver. Not this time. Sure, the police were in cars, but not the "perp." He was on foot, and naked! And the cops bothered to chase him way too long, as reported by wpxi.com:

Police in Beaver County said a naked man led them on a three-mile foot chase through several communities.

Three miles!

Investigators said the man was first spotted near a busy intersection with a lot of traffic on April 20.

A groundskeeper for a nearby cemetery said he was shocked when he saw the man without any clothes on roaming the streets.

"We were working and I saw out of the corner of my eye this flash go by. I looked and I saw his naked butt go by. I didn't need to see anymore," said Mike Zorich.

Zorich said the man ran past him and kept running through Beaver Falls Cemetery. "He went by in a flash and that was the end of it," Zorich said.

Well, maybe that should have been the end of it. But no way was this naked guy going to getting away with it?!

Police estimate he made it through three townships and ran about three miles completely nude through several wooded areas before they were able to catch up with him.

Investigators said they eventually were able to catch him while he was wading through a creek. Police said they have no idea why he was in the water.

The charges?

Carlos Noel Pena, 24, was charged with open lewdness.

Really? Open lewdness? Truly an excellent use of police resources. Here's the source.

Then high-school junior Avery Doninger was ticked off that the battle of the bands (Jamfest) was cancelled. So, at home, on her own blog, she posted an entry stating that

Jamfest is canceled due to the douchebags in central office.

As events unfolded, it turns out her characterization was pretty accurate. Her punishment? She was told to apologize to the school superintendent, show her mom the blog entry, and withdraw her candidacy for Class Secretary (an office she held since entering high school). She agreed to the first two, but would not withdraw from the race. So the school refused to let her run (she would have won as a write-in candidate, but the votes were ignored!), and she filed suit, claiming that the school violated her right to free speech.

The result? She lost! "The content of the blog was related to school issues, and it was reasonably foreseeable that other LMHS students would view the blog and that school administrators would become aware of it," said U.S. District Court Judge Mark Kravitz. I think her Mom, who was praised on local radio for telling Avery "you're grounded, and we're going to federal court to file a civil suit," has it right. She said:

Punishment is up to me. This erodes the training ground for the democratic process, which must be that you have to distrust democracy occasionally in order to make it work. The embedded lesson of democracy at Lewis S. Mills is hollow. Theirs is an overreaching power to orchestrate.

Here's hoping the Court of Appeals agrees. Update: The Court of Appeals didn't, upholding Judge Kravitz's decision. But wait! Ms. Doninger's attorney is going to appeal the case to the Supreme Court.