Legal Juice

Hmm. A woman convicted of forgery appeared in court to receive her sentence. She asked the judge for a postponement due to health reasons, and presented a doctor's note. Hmm. As reported by the San Luis Obispo Tribune:

Michelle Elaine Astumian was free on $45,000 bail and pleaded no contest in January to felony counts of forgery and using a fraudulent check.

The 41-year-old woman arrived Monday for sentencing in a San Luis Obispo County courtroom and presented a note with a doctor's signature asking for a postponement.

The Juice knows what you're thinking: "hmm."

Prosecutor Dave Pomeroy called the doctor, who said the note is a forgery.

No! Who would do such a thing?

The judge immediately ordered Astumian into custody and she collapsed to the floor. An ambulance took her to a hospital.

Immediately into custody? So ...

Pomeroy [said] ... that Astumian will be sentenced later, but he doesn't know when.

Victory! Sort of? Here's the source.

How can you stay in a luxury accommodation for free? You can follow this gent's lead, as reported by The Panama City News Herald:

According to the Bay County Sheriff’s Office, the three businesses were approached by a man who claimed to have $20 million to invest in the purchase of motels or condominiums.

Hey, The Juice never said it was legal ...

However, prior to purchase, the suspect insisted on staying in the penthouse or motel room to check out the property.

In each case, the man stayed on the property for a weekend or a week, sometimes bringing family with him, and then disappears without making any offer to purchase a property or pay for his stay.

Doh! No offense to the victims, but, really?

Sheriff Frank McKeithen encourages any property owner to request a financial statement from any individual expressing an interest to invest in beach property to confirm that, in fact, that person is a qualified buyer for the property.

Here's the source.

What's in a name? Plenty, if you're talking about beer names and the Michigan Liquor Control Commission. You're in trouble when the standard you're using, as here, is whether the product is "deemed ... to be detrimental to the health, safety or welfare of the general public.” A little vague, perhaps?

As reported by www.mlive.com:

Flying Dog Brewery is suing the state Liquor Control Commission, alleging the agency is censoring its free speech by rejecting labels for the bottler's “Raging Bitch” 20th Anniversary India Pale Ale.

So Michigan has a problem with "Raging Bitch" beer. What Flying Dog beers has it okayed, you might be wondering?

[Flying Dog] markets approved labels, including “Doggie Style” Classic Pale Ale [and] “In Heat Wheat” Hefeweizen Ale ... at many chain and specialty stores in West Michigan.

And don't forget about this one ...

... the state has allowed sales of alcoholic beverages with a vulgar term on the label. Among those are a Grand Rapids brew “Dirty Bastard,” crafted by Founders.

If you're wondering why "Doggie Style," "In Heat Wheat," and "Dirty Bastard" are okay but "Raging Bitch" isn't, The Juice also wonders. To read a lot more, including Flying Dog's connection to Hunter S. Thompson, click here.

Burglary is one thing, but punching an elderly woman in the process? Not cool, and in this case, not effective either. Turns out granny can take care of herself, and then some. As reported by thisisnottingham.co.uk:

Joan Parmenter, 79, discovered Luke Clay with his brother, Lee Clay, in her front room at 11pm on Friday, February 18.

Luke hit her right temple and she responded with an "almighty punch" to his jaw. He landed face down on her couch amongst her collection of toy animals from her travels around the world, she said.

The Clays then fled from her home, but ran into the path of a car, which had to make an emergency stop.

Miss Parmenter ran out of her house after the burglars and shouted "stop him!" Sophie Buckthorpe, who had been in the car, called police. Both men were later arrested and admitted they were the burglars.

You can read more (a fair amount) and see a photo of our heroine here.

Judges put up with a lot of crap, figuratively, and, well, sometimes literally. Tyrone Clarke, of Trinidad & Tobago, came to court with two bags of "human feces" in his pockets! As reported in the Trinidad & Tobago Express:

On January 8, Maharajh-Brown, who was presiding in the Eleventh Court, screamed and fled the courtroom after Clarke dipped into his side pocket and pulled out a plastic bag which he threw.

The first bag missed Maharaj-Brown, but hit the wall behind her, causing the bag to burst and spill onto the wall and Maharaj-Brown.

As Clarke dipped his hand again into his pockets, [police prosecutor] Carty quickly rose from his seat and positioned himself in the middle of Maharaj-Brown and Clarke, in a bid to protect the magistrate.

You know the crime. The time? One year, six months and 28 days hard labor. Oh, and there are still those charges of arson and malicious damage that brought Mr. Clarke to court.

Think of the last place a man would want to be kicked? Well, the same goes for being tased. Just ask the Arizona police officer who got zapped there. Per The Arizona Daily Star:

A Nogales police officer who claims his former sergeant used a Taser on his genitals last February has filed a federal lawsuit against the Police Department and former sergeant.

Yeowwww!

According to the lawsuit, Sgt. Sergio Bon "aggressively" pushed a clipboard holding citations at Officer Pedro Molera when Molera placed the clipboard on Bon's desk on Feb. 8, 2010. Bon then unholstered his Taser, removed the front cartridge and pointed it at Molera, the lawsuit states.

When Molera responded "Are you going to use it? Go ahead," Bon placed it on Molera's penis over his clothes and squeezed the trigger for a "couple of seconds," the lawsuit states.

[Police Chief] Kirkham previously confirmed Bon, an 18-year veteran, resigned as a result of the incident, and acknowledged Bon would likely have been terminated had he not submitted his resignation.

You can read more here.

For more information about what happened, click here.

No need for a sobriety checkpoint. This Florida woman gets a huge assist in her own arrest, as reported by wtsp.com:

A Tampa Bay-area woman faces several charges after authorities say she passed out while she and three children waited at a Burger King drive-thru.

The Pasco County Sheriff's Office reports that employees called authorities Tuesday night after watching 27-year-old April A. Musson fall asleep in her car. Children -- ages 1, 3 and 5 -- were also in the vehicle.

Why so sleepy? The sheriff's office says deputies found an oxycodone pill and marijuana on Musson, and she told them she had smoked marijuana earlier that day.

Here's the source, including a photo of Ms. Musson.

Without Johnny Law, there would be chaos, right? In this situation, Johnny Law needs to step off. In the Australian city of Whitehorse, little children drawing with chalk in front of a cafe have been deemed to be ... taggers! As reported by The Whitehorse Leader:

Children drawing with chalk on a Nunawading footpath have been labeled graffiti artists.

THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

Whitehorse Council has drawn the line over pre-schooler’s scribbles outside White’s Cafe in the Mt Pleasant Rd shopping strip.

Sally White, who runs the family-friendly cafe with husband PJ, said she was told by a council officer that the children’s drawings were graffiti and had to stop, after a complaint from a resident.

A single complaint? Was it the nature of the drawings?

Mrs White, who has boys aged three and four, said the cafe had allowed children to draw on the footpath of the quiet shopping strip for the past 12 months.

She said the drawings were usually stick figures, scribbles, fish or pirates.

Nunawading artist and author Lucienne Noontil, a cafe regular, said she could not believe anyone would find them offensive. ``I love the drawings and seeing the kids be creative,’’ she said.

First Tunisia, then Egypt, Wisconsin, Bahrain, Yemen, Syria, and now ... Nunawading!

Ms Noontil said stopping the drawings would dampen the strong community spirit of the cafe.

Mrs White said she and the children were all in tears when told the drawing had to stop so they had decided to still allow it.

HELL NO, WE WON'T ... stop letting the children create art that enriches their lives, enriches the community, and harms nobody... But wait! What about the mess?

Mrs White said they would be willing to wash the drawings off each afternoon when they shut or apply for a permit from council if that was relevant.

Curse you, reasonable lady! But Johnny Law is unmoved by any of this.

Council’s general manager corporate services Peter Smith said the drawings were in contravention of council’s Local Law No. 1 2006 and the state government’s Graffiti Act 2007.

``No matter the age of the person, drawing on public property is considered graffiti,’’ he said.

Let it go, Pete. Let it go. That appears unlikely.

Mr Smith said the council would be obliged to issue a compliance notice if the drawing continued or if a further complaint was received.

Silly complainer. Silly Council. If you're ever in Whitehorse, make sure you patronize White's Cafe, because Mrs. White is certainly deserving of your support for her pro-children, pro-art, anit-stupidity stance. Here's the source, which includes a photo of some of the artists.

For more on the story, click here.

Who knew what "flex" was? Maybe you hipsters, but not The Juice. Anyway, it would seem that one can make some serious jack selling the stuff. As reported by Creative Loafing Atlanta:

Around 2 p.m., police responded to a silent panic alarm at an Armour Drive apartment, and a 30-year-old man came to the door. An officer wrote in his report, "It appeared that [he] was hiding something and attempted to place something in his right pants pocket." Turns out he was hiding stuff pretty much everywhere. After picking up a search warrant and a drug dog, police reportedly found $20,879 in cash on the kitchen counter, more than $16,000 cash in the right kitchen drawer and $3,954 cash in the left kitchen drawer.

The dog moved to the hallway, and found $32,171 in a computer desk, three bags in a closet stuffed with more than $93,000 cash, a Gucci bag filled with $9,394, and 12 grams of white powdery stuff. The man told police he sells flex, aka fake drugs. An initial test on the powder came back negative. Police gathered up the white stuff and sent it to a lab for more tests.

Total cash police say they found in the apartment: $295,583.

Wow.

The action starts 22 seconds in.

In relationships, as with many other things, you need to know when to cut your losses. For this Florida woman, it's clearly time. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

A man was arrested after he locked his girlfriend in a shed and threw cottage cheese at her.

The woman called law enforcement about her boyfriend of about five years after the 43-year-old locked her in a shed, threw a container of cottage cheese at her and then tried to pour gasoline on her, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

Cottage cheese and gasoline? Kind of a mixed message there.

The container holding the cottage cheese didn’t hit the woman, but its contents did.

Harold McCleery was arrested and charged for battery and false imprisonment.

Here's the source, including a mug shot.

Even though McDonald's has sold over 100 billion burgers (can you feel your arteries clogging?), a restaurant named "McCurry" (Malaysian Chicken Curry) would not be intimidated. As reported by the BBC News:

The American fast-food giant McDonald's has lost an eight-year legal battle to prevent a Malaysian restaurant calling itself McCurry.

Talk about David vs. Goliath.

McCurry opened for business in Kuala Lumpur in 1999, and serves Indian dishes, including fish head curry and breads including tandoori naan.

So it was McDonald's (with over 30,000 "restaurants" worldwide, including 180 in Malaysia) against 1 McCurry. With the end of the litigation, McCurry looks to change that.

"We can now go ahead with whatever we plan to do such as opening new branches," [McCurry owner P Suppiah] said.

Here's the source.

Who doesn't want a Land Rover? Even if you are going to steal one, clearly this is not the best way to go about it. As reported by FloridaToday.com:

A 24-year-old man is in jail today after sheriff’s investigators said he broke into a car dealership, drove through two sets of bay doors and crashed into 11 vehicles on the lot.

Travis Stone was charged with burglary, grand theft auto and 11 separate counts of criminal mischief in connection with the break-in that left behind $30,000 in damage to the Island Lincoln Mercury dealership at 1850 Merritt Island Causeway.

Now this might surprise you ...

“He was highly intoxicated. He told us that he didn’t remember how he got into the dealership but he remembers driving through the bay doors,” said Agent Craig Carson of the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office.

Investigators said Stone got into the garage and drove off with a 2000 Land Rover that was in the dealership for repairs. Investigators said Stone then drove through locked bay doors, damaging the building in the process.

Deputies spotted the Land Rover and attempted to stop the vehicle. Stone was arrested after a short foot pursuit, investigators said.

Here's the source, including a mug shot.

When you think of a crime spree, don't you think of a string of similar crimes? Irishman
Richard William O'Flynn, in Australia on a 2-year visa, defied convention with his spree. As reported by livenews.com.au:

His most bizarre act was to take a goldfish into a Ticketek office in the CBD and demand money so he could pay for food to feed it.

On another occasion he and a male friend got drunk and entered a cake store, where he demanded a "gay cake" for their "gay wedding". O'Flynn then picked up a cake decorating knife and threatened the assistant, asking for money. When she told him she would call the police, he and his friend left the store, the court was told.

O'Flynn... also pleaded guilty to wilful damage for kicking a car during an argument in Bundaberg.

And finally,

He also pleaded guilty to using [the telephone] to menace, harass or cause offence after repeatedly calling a real estate agent and abusing her because she left a flyer in his mailbox.

We all hate those flyers, but seriously dude, recycle, don't hate. What is Mr. O'Flynn's fate? His guilty pleas were met with a sentence of "12 months [in] jail suspended after 80 days, which he has already served in pre-sentence custody." A few parting words from the Judge:

Judge Griffin described O'Flynn's behaviour as "disgraceful" and said Australia would be better off without him. [O'Flynn is returning to Ireland at the end of the month.]

"We will all be altogether pleased to see you go," Judge Griffin said.

Really, is that any way to treat a guest in your country?

The Juice has shared many "911" stories over the years. (Click here for all Juice posts with "911.") This one is clearly "top 5" material. As reported by The Sandusky Register (Ohio):

Officers responded to the 100 block of E. Water St. at 3:17 a.m., where several bar patrons had been arguing. Police told Joseph A. Walsh, 26, to calm down and leave the area.

And of course Mr. Walsh ... didn't.

Walsh started to get into a vehicle with some friends to leave, but then began arguing with one of the men and shoved him, police said.

Police arrested Walsh for persistent disorderly conduct. While taking him into custody, officers said Walsh was unsteady on his feet, had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech.

Officers also found a rolled $20 bill containing suspected cocaine residue on it in Walsh’s front pocket.

Having clearly done nothing wrong ...

Walsh became belligerent with officers while en route to the police department, so they placed Walsh in a holding cell, but he screamed and pounded on the door, refusing to settle down, they said.

Police then handcuffed Walsh to the holding-cell door to keep him from hurting himself or damaging department property.

Apparently that was the final straw for Mr. Walsh.

... while officers completed charges against Walsh, he managed to take out his cell phone and call 911 to complain that he was being held against his will.

Brilliant!

Police took the phone and served Walsh with charges of possession of cocaine, persistent disorderly conduct and misuse of 911. He was booked into the Erie County Jail.

Doh! Here's the source.

"We just robbed the Chicken Shack! We just robbed the Chicken Shack!" Okay, so these Lakeland, Florida perps didn't actually yell that out, but they might as well have. As reported by wtsp.com:

Tuesday morning, Officers Tony Williams and David Kaiser responded to reports of a burglary at the Chicken Shack located at 813 West Memorial Blvd. When police showed up, they found the business had been robbed of t-shirts, beer and other property.

A witness who called in the burglary also reported seeing two men running from the store and was able to give a description of the men. A short time later, and not very far away, the officers spotted 35-year-old Chad Berrien and 31-year-old Rickey Wright.

You'll recall that they stole some t-shirts. Yup ...

Police say Berrien and Wright were both wearing Chicken Shack t-shirts and had several more in a bag. The suspects also still had some of the stolen beer minus what they had already drank.

They were drinking? No way.

Both men are charged with burglary and grand theft.

Here's the source, including mug shots.

This is really gross and weird. Who likes sucking blood so much that he would do it for 2-3 minutes? Why would you let someone do that? As reported by The Arizona Republic:

A vampire-crazed man was sentenced Monday to three years probation for stabbing a friend who had refused to let him suck his blood.

Some "friend" he turned out to be ...

[Aaron] Homer [age 24] stabbed the arm of Robert Maley, 25, of Chandler on Oct. 4 after Maley refused to let him suck his blood a second time, the police report said.

Maley had let Homer suck his blood before, but only because Homer was threatening to cut his ex-girlfriend or her friend. Homer sucked his blood for two to three minutes that time.

Two to three minutes!

On Oct. 4, Homer was demanding to suck his blood a second time.

"I said no, and he flipped," Maley told police. "He said, 'I'm doing it,' and then boom . . . he stabbed me."

Maley fled from Homer's apartment on the 600 block of North Alma School Road, leaving a trail of blood in addition to fake blood that Homer or his girlfriend, Amanda Williamson, 21, had spread on the floor, according to the police report.

"They think they are vampires," said Maley of Homer and Williamson. The pair, he said, are also into paganism.

Homer later admitted to police he stabbed Maley because he was making fun of their "religion."

How do you get no jail time after admitting that you stabbed someone? Here's the source.

There's a dress code at the mall? At least at the Quaker Bridge Mall in Trenton, New Jersey there is. And in case you think the saggy pants looks is a male thing, think again. As reported by The Lawrenceville Patch:

Ashley L. Diggs, 24, of the 800 block of East State Street in Trenton, was charged with disorderly conduct after she allegedly refused to pull her pants up inside Quaker Bridge Mall, according to Edgar.

Diggs was reportedly walking around the mall, in the 3300 block of Brunswick Pike (Route 1), about 6 p.m. Saturday with her underwear visible, Edgar said. He said mall security officers approached Diggs, advised her of the mall’s dress code, and asked her to “pull her pants up.”

Edgar said Diggs allegedly started yelling obscenities at the security guards and became so unruly that she scared “numerous children” nearby. Police were contacted and Diggs was arrested by Officer Steve Simon, he said.

Sure, make it about "the children." Who could be against "the children" and in support of baggy pants woman? The Juice, for one. Ridiculous. Here's the source.

Next time you want to do something nice for a neighbor, think about this story, and then do it anyway. Because there can't be a lot of neighbors with this particular dynamic ... As reported by wftv.com:

Authorities said Joseph Florence was upset with how his neighbor's yard looked, so he decided to water it. His neighbor called police.

Calling the cops? An overreaction, perhaps? Now that we're talking about overreactions, how did Mr. Florence respond when the police arrived?

Police said when they arrived and tried to arrest Florence for trespassing, there was a struggle and he punched and choked the officers.

No! Bad move. [See above.]

The officers were not seriously hurt, but Florence ended up with two black eyes.

Florence was arrested and charged with battery to a law enforcement officer, assault on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, depriving an officer of communication, and resisting an officer without violence. Florence was taken to the Polk County jail.

The Juice has a feeling that won't be the end of it. Here's the source.

Yes, it's German. But the language is irrelevant, as you'll see.

No offense to the kid who started all of this "no cussing" hullabaloo, but really, has the word "shit," by itself, ever hurt anyone? Right. What about "You're fat" or "You're ugly" or "You're stupid?"

Off the soapbox, though, and on to Mr. Anthony Ruano. Seems that young Mr. Ruano (age 18) had an argument with his dad, then headed across the street, spray paint in hand. On the wall of the building facing his dad's house, he wrote a 7-foot-long message - "Fuck You." Unfortunately for Mr. Ruano, that building WAS AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

As luck (bad) would have it, Mr. Ruano chose to do this during Los Angeles County's "No Cussing Week." Per The Contra Costa Times,

Ruano finds himself prosecuted under a City Attorney's Office plan to work to improve safety and security at the city's school campuses....

[He] was charged with one count of vandalism and could go to jail for a year and pay up to $10,000 in fines if convicted.

It's pathetic, but props to The Contra Costa Times for at least saying the graffiti rhymed with "Muck Goo," placing it one notch above the legions of "expletive deleted" censors.

You're driving down the road in Florida and you see a beautiful orange grove, or a cow with a silhouette of Jesus on her. You'll have to resist the urge to take a photograph unless you have the owner's permission, at least if a Florida legislator has his way. Here's part of a bill proposed by Senator Jim Norman:

(2) A person who photographs, video records, or otherwise produces images or pictorial records, digital or otherwise, at or of a farm or other property where legitimate agriculture operations are being conducted without the written consent of the owner, or an authorized representative of the owner, commits a felony of the first degree ...

A felony? Why pass such a law? Would it pass constitutional muster? As reported by The Florida Tribune:

Media law experts say the ban would violate freedoms protected in the U. S. Constitution. But Wilton Simpson, a farmer who lives in Norman's district, said the bill is needed to protect the property rights of farmers and the "intellectual property" involving farm operations.

Simpson, president of Simpson Farms near Dade City, said the law would prevent people from posing as farmworkers so that they can secretly film agricultural operations.

So this is a problem in Florida?

[Mr. Simpson] said he could not name an instance in which that happened. But animal rights groups such as People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and Animal Freedom display undercover videos on their web sites to make their case that livestock farming and meat consumption are cruel.

Sorry Mr. Simpson, but The Juice agrees with this lady.

Judy Dalglish, executive director for the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, said shooting property from a roadside or from the air is legal. The bill "is just flat-out unconstitutional not to mention stupid," she said.

Here's the proposed law, and here's the rest of the Trib article.

The Juice has the utmost respect for police officers. But, just as there are lawyers who do bad things, such is the case with police officers too. But there are no dashboard cameras for lawyers... Unfortunately for this baton-wielding officer (see below, at the 15 second mark), his dashboard camera was up and running. He was subsequently fired, criminally charged, and convicted, which you can read about here.

You find out your husband is cheating on you. You fly from the east coast to Chicago, and this is the best you can do? As reported by www.triblocal.com:

A wife flew to Chicago and cut the crotches out of the pants of a woman who was vacationing with her Wilmette husband, police said.

That's it? Actually there was one more thing ...

[she] put [the clothes] in a suitcase and left it in the home’s driveway, she told investigators.

Based on the backstory, the gent is fortunate that's all she did with the scissors.

Reached later by telephone, the man’s wife allegedly acknowledged to Wilmette police that she had damaged the clothing — and that the two are still married, talk on the telephone several times per day, and have lived separately because of their work situations.

The woman said her husband told her he was traveling to a business conference, but she became enraged when she discovered he was vacationing in the Caribbean with another woman, the report states.

Surely the husband admitted to the affair? Well ...

The man told police the woman was just a friend and was visiting him from Turkey. She declined to press charges over the damage. The man also told police that he was separated, though not divorced, from his wife, who lives out of state.

Plausible, but ...

She told investigators she flew from the East Coast to O’Hare Airport on March 4, took a cab to the Wilmette home she still co-owns with her husband, and was shocked to find that her husband “had hidden everything that would reveal he was married.”

Just sayin', it doesn't look too good for the husband. So, the charges?

Since the woman whose clothes were destroyed refused to sign a criminal complaint, no charges were filed and the case is considered closed.

Hmmm. Here's the source.

It's always nice when folks get divorced, yet remain civil. On the other end of the spectrum, at least from the ex-wife's standpoint, we have this story out of Eutawville, South Carolina, as reported by The Times and Democrat:

The victim told deputies he got into an argument over the phone with his former wife at around 12:30 a.m. and it was agreed they meet at a location on Cement Bridge Road several miles southeast of Eutawville.

"Meet me outside of town on Cement Bridge Road." Who would accept that invitation? Well ...

When the man made his appearance at the designated location ...

No!!!!

...he was met by four men who were strangers to him. He described one of the men as being "stocky." The four men proceeded to beat the victim in the face and head, the report said.

Not cool. Adding insult to injury ...

Two of the victim's assailants then began punching his Chevrolet Silverado, the report said. One of them, described as 6-foot-2-inches and 240 pounds, "ripped the tailgate from the truck," according to the incident report.

Not ... my ... truck! And what kind of justice is the ex looking for?

The victim said he wanted to file charges for the damages done to the truck.

Really? Just the truck? Apparently so. Here's the source.

If you're short on time, skip a bunch of the f-bombs and go to the 2:13 mark. The guy's reaction upon learning the amount of the ticket is something to behold. And you won't find a cooler cop - anywhere. Of course, that just makes the guy angrier.

All you regular readers know that The Juice is not a big fan of Big Brother. Like-minded Juicegoers probably won't be too fond of this proposed ordinance now pending in Sullivan's Island, South Carolina:

Sec. 14-15G. Yelling, shouting, etc.

It shall be unlawful for any person to yell, shout, hoot, whistle, or sing on the public streets, particularly between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. or at any time or place so as to annoy or disturb the quiet, comfort, or repose of persons in any office, or in any dwelling, or other type of residence, or of any persons in the vicinity.

Really? You're actually considering passing this? No offense to whoever drafted this, but The Juice really hopes he/she/they did not go to law school because this absurd ordinance sets a new standard for vagueness. What a hoot! Good luck enforcing it! Here's a link to the proposed ordinance on the town's website.

P.S. It passed! Here's the link. (Scroll down to 14-15G.

A frog? Forget about the mechanics of it (if you can). How can someone possibly derive sexual pleasure watching a woman and a frog? At least one gent did, as reported by The Sun:

Michael Hall, 46 — who is also a school governor and worked on a council panel to protect children — downloaded the disgusting images on to his laptop computer.

When police raided his home they found 230 photos and 150 videos showing women engaging in sex acts with horses, a donkey, dogs, a gerbil, a frog and a live snake.

Police acted on a tip-off after learning the magistrate, from Rotherham, South Yorks, had an account on a file-sharing website which was raising concerns.

Guess those animal fetishists aren't the most loyal bunch. Maybe they coveted the same frog.

They found the filthy porn stash when they raided his home in Swinton, Rotherham, last September.

Hall admitted 21 specimen charges of possessing hard-core pornography when he appeared before Leeds magistrates.

Jail time? Nope.

He was sentenced to a three-year community order which requires him to spend 144 days completing a programme for sex offenders.

Can you imagine when, during group therapy, this dude has to stand up and say "I'm Michael, and I love frogs, gerbils, dogs, donkeys ..." You can read more [a fair amount] here.

A Texas Inmate named George Morgan filed a habeas petition, which the state moved to dismiss. This didn't sit well with Mr. Morgan. So he wrote a note to assistant U.S. attorney Susan San Miguel on toilet paper. What did the note say? As reported by Courthouse News Service:

"Dear Susan, Please use this to wipe your ass, that argument was a bunch of shit! You[rs] Truly, George Morgan."

Ba da bing. Ba da boom.

One of Miguel's co-workers returned the note to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, where Morgan is incarcerated.

And?

Morgan was charged with using vulgar language and was punished with a loss of 15 days of credit earned for good behavior.

Morgan appealed, arguing that the punishment violated his right to free speech. And he ... lost.

Judge Jolly acknowledged that prisoners have certain First Amendment rights, but said those rights are restricted by the state's interest in rehabilitating the prisoner.

"Morgan's note demonstrated a completely unjustified disrespect for authority, expressed in the most unacceptably vulgar form, which would be offensive in mainstream society," Jolly wrote.

"It would not be tolerated from a peer member of the bar, and would not be tolerated from a pro se litigant in the free setting."

Here's the source.

Mess with this lady's kid, and you may be looking at the back of her hand - coming at your face. As seen above, as reported by nbcmiami.com:

A Broward County mother is accused of being a school bus bully after she took justice into her own hands and confronted a child who hit her kid.

Toccara Daniels, 27, was arrested Tuesday and charged with burglary with assault or battery and child abuse without great harm.

Police say Daniels became irate when her young daughter told her another kid had hit him. The children are ages 6 and 7.

"Irate" about sums it up.

Daniels knocked on the bus door and the driver opened it, telling her she wasn't allowed on, but she ignored the driver.

As evident in the video, the mad momma charged onto the school bus, had her daughter point out the boy who hit her. She then smacked the kid in the mouth with the back of her hand and told him, "don't touch my child."

As she she walked back to the front of the bus, the bus driver is heard telling her that she isn't allowed on the bus, to which she replied, "I don't give a f[uc]k." The driver closed the bus doors and initially wouldn't let her out.

As you might imagine, she wasn't pleased, but she regrouped...

"Let me off this f[uck]in' bus," she can be heard saying. Eventually, she changes her tone, apologizes and the driver lets her off.

Click here for the source.

How can The Juice be sure that "the question" was actually asked? Because he heard it himself, today. He was listening to a painfully long recorded statement taken before he was retained [DON'T GIVE THEM!] in an automobile accident case. Remember, this question was asked DURING A RECORDED STATEMENT. So, in the 25th minute [!!!], the following was asked of the accident victim:

Is the recording true and correct to the best of your knowledge?

HOW THE HELL WOULD HE KNOW, GENIUS? YOU ARE IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING THE RECORDING! And she was clearly reading from an idiotic insurance company script! If you know of a more idiotic question posed in the context of a legal claim or case, let The Juice know!

Of all the buildings in Los Angeles this [allegedly] drunk person could have crashed into, he "picks" a sober living home? That's just bizarre. As reported by KTLA:

A DUI suspect crashed a sport utility vehicle into a South Los Angeles sober living home early Saturday.

The driver and a passenger were trapped in his Ford Explorer temporarily after the vehicle slammed into Watts Healthcare Corp. Inc. located at 8005 S. Figueroa Street just before 1:00am, officials said.

Once the two were rescued from inside the vehicle, they were taken to local hospitals along with four building residents, officials said.

According to officials, the driver may be held accountable for driving under the influence, though no more details have been made available at this time.

Doh! Here's the source.

No, the "B" bomb this kid dropped wasn't "bitch." It was "bomb." In this post-Columbine, post-9/11 world, that can cost you - big time. As reported by the Northwest Florida Daily News:

A 14-year-old boy was arrested Monday after telling his Walton Academy teacher that his phone battery was a bomb and then asking if the teacher "was ready."

Brilliant! Certainly there will be no consequences...

He was charged with making a false report of an explosive device on school property, which is a felony. He was also charged with interfering with a school's administrative functions, which is a misdemeanor.

A felony? Really? That's just a gross overreaction to a disrespectful kid making a stupid comment that nobody could honestly take seriously. Here's the source.

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Well, this is one of the most one-way relationships ever. As in, a truckload of money went one way, and "virtually" nothing went the other way ... As reported by The Naperville Sun

A Naperville man is out $200,000 after wiring money to an online girlfriend he didn’t realize was a fake.

NOOOOO! 200,000 clams! And it would have continued, had the scammer not overdone it.

The 48-year-old man called Naperville police at 6:57 p.m. Wednesday to ask for help in rescuing the woman, whom he believed had been kidnapped in London, according to a police report.

He told police he started the relationship online 2 1/2 years ago. During that time, the man wired about $200,000 total to several different bank accounts in Nigeria, Malaysia, England and the United States, according to the police report.

An identification card the woman provided to the man was a sample driver’s license from Florida, the report said. According to the report, when the officer stated the female did not exist, the man “was in disbelief.”

Hopefully he has some cash left, and stays off the internet ... Here's the source.