Legal Juice

This gent was just minding his own business, enjoying the show, when a dancer's shoe flew through the air and nailed him in the mouth, busting his tooth! Kinda ruined the show ... and his teeth, at least according to the lawsuit he filed against the strip club. As reported by The Indianapolis Star:

According to a lawsuit filed Wednesday in Marion Superior Court, 34-year-old Jake Quagliaroli was sitting about 20 feet from the stage at PT's Showclub, 7916 Pendleton Pike, earlier this month when a dancer's shoe flew off in the middle of her performance.

The shoe allegedly hit Quagliaroli in the face, chipping his front teeth.

He had to get veneers and temporary caps as a result of his injuries. The veneers will have to be replaced every 10 to 15 years, and he might need a root canal in the future, his attorney said.

He's claiming battery and negligence and is asking a jury to determine appropriate damages.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

A crushing blow has been dealt to schoolboys throughout the Indian State of Andhra Pradesh by it's highest court.

The Andhra Pradesh High Court on Friday barred the release of a controversial Telugu movie after it allegedly inspired a Warangal schoolteacher to elope with her student.

The ruling came on a public interest litigation alleging that the film High School, said to be woven around a 30-year-old teacher’s love affair with a 13-year-old schoolboy, could have a corrupting influence on students and vitiate the atmosphere in schools.

"Vitiate?" Takes The Juice back to the SATs ...

The petitioner, S. Chakrapani, president of the Warangal Town Consumer Council, also challenged the state censor board’s decision to clear the movie without considering its social impact.

On behalf of teenage boys across Andhra Pradesh: Curse you Mr. Chakrapani!

The film’s plot has been in the news for some time. It is said to have encouraged a 21-year-old teacher and her 15-year-old student to elope and marry by exchanging garlands at a temple in Warangal on February 15.

It's a movie! Not a directive! And what about this 15-year-old?

B Nagesh, a student of C V Raman High School, told his parents of his marriage with his Hindi teacher D Ramyasri four days later.

Hmmm. Four days later ...

The parents complained to the State Human Rights Commission. Unlike the movie, their marriage was declared null and void.

“This act... on part of the teacher is not only immoral but also illegal,” commission chairperson Justice B Subashan Reddy said

Indeed, but don't blame the movie. The Juice wonders if "Call of Duty" is popular in Andhra Pradesh...

Source: Hindustan Times

That older man over there, do you know what he used to do? He looks vulnerable, but ... A couple of young men learned that a certain 62-year-old still has it. As reported by TheLocal.se:

Gray-haired and requiring the use of a rollator to get around, Rolf Klasson certainly didn't give the impression that he would put up a fight when two young men approached him on Tuesday in central Lidköping.

Klasson was about to take out money from a cash machine when one of the hoodlums demanded the elderly gentlemen give up his wallet, while the other brandished a knife, the local Nya-Lidköpings Tidning (NLT) reported.

What Klasson's attackers didn't know was that their seemingly helpless victim was a retired professional boxer who had once been a sparring partner for Bo 'Bosse' Högberg, who held the European light-middleweight boxing title in 1966.

"I said to them, 'this isn't going to go well'," he told the Expressen newspaper.

That is classic. Definitely the line for that moment.

But the two young men simply scoffed at the old man's warning, something they would soon regret.

Before the pair of cocky thugs knew what had happened, Klasson knocked the knife-wielding thief to the ground with a right hook.

"Then I laid out the other with a left jab," he told Expressen.

Both men fled the scene, still in shock at having been decked by a man who was likely more than twice their age and required assistance to get around town.

What did the authorities think about Mr. Klasson's handiwork?

Margita Johansson of the Lidköping police praised the former boxer for his efforts.

"It was well done. One does have the right to defend oneself," she told NLT.

As if right on cue, said Mr. Klasson:

"They came after the wrong guy."

Well done sir. Here's the source.

The Juice has reported many strange crimes. This one fits in there somewhere. As reported by The Brooklyn Paper:

The victim told cops that a man broke his window at around 5:35 am, then entered his apartment, near Fourth Avenue. Instead of swiping the the normal goodies, the quirky crook grabbed a white toilet and headed down the block, schlepping the heavy porcelain god.

To add insult to larceny, he later came back to tell the lawyer, “I’m going to slit your throat.”

Cops arrested a 53-year-old man the next day.

Please, if you are prone to being grossed out, stop here. Remember, The Juice warned you. So, it started with what appeared to be a routine suspected DUI. Then it got weird, and gross. As reported by The Durango Herald (Colorado):

According to an arrest affidavit, the events began at 11:59 p.m. Feb. 11 when a Durango Police Department officer observed a vehicle turn right onto 32nd Street from Main Avenue without using a turn signal.

The officer, Chad Langley, pulled Kausalik [a 31-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Service who has been in Durango since 1982] over ...

While speaking to Kausalik, the officer detected alcohol on his breath, according to the affidavit. Kausalik said he had not been drinking.

Kausalik performed voluntary roadside maneuvers, but not to Langley’s satisfaction, the affidavit says.

A preliminary breath test indicated he had a blood-alcohol level of 0.142, almost three times the 0.05 legal driving limit in Colorado.

Fairly routine stop thus far. Man appears to be drunk, smells of alcohol, denies drinking, fails field sobriety test, fails initial BAC test.

Langley arrested Kausalik and took him to the Durango police station ... for a formal breath test.

Please, not the formal breath test...

At the station, Kausalik asked to use the restroom. Officer Langley twice found Kausalik asleep in the restroom.

He told Kausalik he could not stay in the restroom all night to avoid the breath test, and he needed to either take the test or choose a refusal.

Actually, there is another option, which could be considered a refusal of sorts ...

Kausalik eventually left the bathroom looking at the floor, walking toward the officer.

Langley asked Kausalik what was in his mouth, and he continued to walk toward the officer, head down and expressionless.

When Kausalik was about 4 feet from the officer, Kausalik looked up, opened his mouth and took a deep breath.

“As I observed what he had in his mouth, I took a step back and began turning my head as he violently spit the contents of his mouth toward my face,” officer Langley wrote in the affidavit. “I felt the matter [FECES!!!!!] strike the left side of my face and head.” Kausalik also had feces on his hands, the affidavit says.

If you're not completely grossed out, check your pulse. You can read the full story here.

Hey, The Juice is a big fan of Thin Mints. But this lady in Florida? Check out what happened to the housemate she believed took her box of Thin Mints. As reported by WZVN:

[Hersha] Howard's roommate, Jasmin Wanke, told deputies she was asleep when Howard burst into her bedroom and accused her of eating the cookies.

Wanke said she gave them to Howard's kids because they were awake and hungry at 1 a.m., according to a Collier County Sheriff's Office report.

"Oh, cool. Thanks for looking out for my kids ..." Um, no. That's what should have happened. Here's what did happen.

The women began to argue, then Howard reportedly jumped on top of Wanke and struck her in the face.

The two continued to fight until Wanke's husband separated them.

A few hits to the face - that's it? Not by a long shot.

When Wanke walked out of the bedroom, Howard grabbed a pair of scissors and began chasing and threatening Wanke, the report said.

As women ran down the stairs, Howard reportedly dropped the scissors, picked up a board and struck Wanke.

Damn! Sounds like pro wrestling.

Wanke then ran to the kitchen, where Howard confronted and attacked her again, according to the Sheriff's Office.

During the fight, Howard bit Wanke in the breast and continued to hit her until the two were separated again, the report said.

The women ran out of the house, then Howard reportedly picked up a sign and struck Wanke with it several times.

A board, then a sign? What about a chair? Where's the husband during all this?

Wanke's husband tackled Howard before deputies arrived and arrested her (and charged her with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

Finally!

She was taken to the Naples Jail Center for booking.

Here's the source, including Ms. Howard's mug shot.

THEY TRIED TO ROB A GUN STORE - WITH AN OPENLY-ARMED EMPLOYEE. Who does that? And the kicker? These gents lost $40 in the process. As reported The Kansas City Star:

It all started about 2 p.m. when one of the robbers came into Guns Unlimited, 8113 N. Oak Trafficway, and asked for a box of .357 Magnum ammunition. The clerk told him it would cost about $50. The man, who looked to be in his 20s, said he needed to get more money and left.

Note that the clerk told him the cost would be "about $50." So what does the dude do? He comes back with $40!

Just before 5 p.m., he returned with a partner and said he wanted to buy the ammunition. The clerk looked at his identification to check his age, rang up the sale and told the man he owed $50.19. The man slid two $20 bills onto the counter.

“You’re $10.19 short,” the clerk said.

The man pulled a blue .357 revolver with a 4-inch barrel from his waistband, pointed it at the clerk and said, “Give me your money!”

If you're wondering how this ends with the robbers out $40 ....

[The clerk] zeroed in on the robber’s cylinder and saw it was empty as he reached for his own gun and pulled it from its holster.

Advantage, clerk.

“His eyes got as big as two dinner plates,” the clerk said. “Before I got mine pointed at him, he ran to the door at, like, 95 mph. I’m surprised he didn’t bust the glass out of the door.”

The clerk, who had started to squeeze his trigger, relaxed his finger as the robbers fled, leaving behind the two $20 bills.

And the would-be robbers? "[They] were last seen running south." Here's the full story.

What's worse than driving under the influence? is bad. Trying to weasel out of it. So props to this lady for her candor. As reported by The Bee Group Newspapers (Buffalo, NY):

Police responded to an accident on Transit Road. Officers asked the driver where she was coming from, and she said she was drinking at a nearby bar because "I work my butt off and I deserve it."

I'll drink to that! (Please - MADD - no more emails!)

New Hampshire Federal Judge James R. Muirhead was not amused (okay, he was really amused) when prisoner Charles Wolff included a hard-boiled egg with his request for a better diet. Here is what the Judge had to say, in an Order issued about the filing of the egg:

No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Just like no ham
On the kosher plan.

This egg will rot
I kid you not.
And stink it can
This egg at hand.

There will be no eggs at court
To prove a clog in your aort.
There will be no eggs accepted.
Objections all will be rejected.

From this day forth
This court will ban
hard-boiled eggs of any brand.
And if you should not understand
The meaning of the ban at hand
Then you should contact either Dan,
the Deputy Clerk, or my clerk Jan.

I do not like eggs in the file.
I do not like them in any style.
I will not take them fried or boiled.
I will not take them poached or broiled.
I will not take them soft or scrambled
Despite an argument well-rambled.

No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Destroy that egg!
Today! today! Today I say! Without delay!

SO ORDERED (with apologies to Dr. Seuss).

Snap. And The Juice was having a bad day. Here's a link to the Order.

As a regular bicycle rider (and commuter), The Juice must confess that, if he lived in Florida, he would be a serial offender of this absolutely ridiculous law. And yes, it's still on the books.

Title XXIII - MOTOR VEHICLES - Chapter 316 - STATE UNIFORM TRAFFIC CONTROL

316.2065 - Bicycle regulations.

... (7) Any person operating a bicycle shall keep at least one hand upon the handlebars.

Might as well outlaw "things you do for kicks" ... Here's a link to the statute.

If this is how she treats her sister, The Juice can only wonder how she treats her friends, let alone her enemies ... As reported by The Northwest Florida Daily News:

The 15-year-old shared a bedroom with her sister for the last three years, according to the [Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office] report. The sister said she had $2,000 stashed in a hiding place in their room and that the 15-year-old had stolen it.

Do you get the feeling this is not going to end well?

During the argument, the sister admitted that she stole the money and said she had spent it on an Ipod touch and some other items, according to the report.

Uh-oh.

The 15-year-old pushed and slapped her sister during the argument. When the sister pushed her back, the 15-year-old went into the kitchen, grabbed a fork and stabbed her sister in the right side with it, according to the report.

Ouch. While it sounds bad, although it wasn't a spoon, it could've been a knife! With such strong criminal lawyer instincts, clearly The Juice should not be spending his time as a personal injury lawyer.The charges?

The 15-year-old is charged with misdemeanor battery and felony theft of more than $300, according to the report.

Think their family meals will be fun? Here's the source.

Most of the stuff speaks for itself - but not all of it. Per the Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Florida):

A homeless man went to court and was arrested on Friday, but the notable part of the story is what he hid from the judge as he stood before him.

The judge sent Neil Lansing to jail, where corrections deputies conducting a routine search in a cell block found part of a condom sticking out of his rectum, the sheriff's office said.

Conducting those "routine" searches must be a highly sought after assignment.

According to sheriff's officials: inside the condom they found 17 round blue pills, one cigarette, six matches, one flint, one empty syringe with an eraser over the needle, one lip balm container, one additional unused condom, a receipt from CVS pharmacy and a paper coupon.

A CVS receipt and a coupon? Say what? Adding insult to injury ...

Lansing, 33, now faces charges he possessed a drug and a tobacco product inside the Sarasota County Jail. He is being held there without bond.

Click here for the source.

It's unclear what it will take for this Maine woman to understand that "911" is for emergencies. Check out the series of events, as reported by The Bangor Daily News:

Shirley Isacson, 66, “placed 10 calls to 911 in just over an hour” Friday, he said. “She was not reporting any type of emergency.”

The calls started at around 4:15 p.m. Friday and after being warned several times to stop calling for help if she did not need it, Isacson was given a ticket charging her with misuse of the emergency 911 system.

Lesson learned? Nope.

At around 10:30 p.m. Sunday, Belfast Police Department officials called Old Town to say they had received a call from Isacson’s number and the woman wasn’t making sense. While en route to her home, Old Town police got a second call from Maine State Police barracks in Orono saying they received a similar call.

You are not going to believe who Ms. Isacson called when the police knocked on her door.

... Isacson called 911 to say police were at the door harassing her ...

Nooooo! This time she was just given a warning. Surely that's it. Nope.

An hour later she called the non-emergency number for the Old Town Police Department and when police arrived ...

Wait for it ...

... she called 911 to say police were again at the door harassing her.

If you're wondering when this ends - not yet!

In fact when police told her she was under arrest, “she tried to call 911 again,” Casey said.

Isacson was arrested and charged with misuse of the emergency 911 system and taken to Penobscot County Jail in Bangor, where she remained Monday night, a jail official said.

The Juice is exhausted. Here's the source.

Either these gents did an amazing job with their make-up and clothes, or their pursuer was looking through some mega-thick beer goggles, or both. Regardless, he could've handled the discovery that the ladies were gents a little better. As reported by The Marco Eagle:

Josue A. Hernandez, 27, of an unknown Immokalee address, according to reports, was at a bar on Boston Avenue in Immokalee when he learned the people he was socializing with and purchased drinks for, which he believed to be female, “were in fact men dressed in women’s clothing,” according to deputies. He then became irate, breaking bottles, starting fights with other customers and causing a disturbance, deputies said.

A large, fixed-blade, hunting-type knife was discovered in Hernandez’s waistband. The knife, which had a wooden handle and a 6-inch blade, was hidden under his shirt, according to reports. The knife is the kind “normally used for the skinning and gutting of deer and other large animals and was in no way a common pocket knife based on its blade length and design,” deputies said.

Fortunately, it appears he kept the knife sheathed. The charges?

Hernandez was arrested shortly before 1 a.m. Saturday and charged with disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon.

With all that bottle-breaking and fighting, he probably blew his shot at just plain "orderly intoxication." Here's the source, including a photo of the accused.

There's not enough money in the world ... Per The Courier & Mail:

French police say they have arrested a 63-year-old woman who was leading her 40-year-old companion along a busy shopping street by a leash attached to his exposed penis.

The couple were detained on Wednesday afternoon in the southwestern city of Carcassonne and were due to appear in court in April on charges of public indecency.

The couple admitted to being sex addicts and said they were in the middle of a game when arrested, police said on Thursday.

Only in France (until The Juice hears otherwise). And if you do hear otherwise, let The Juice know so he can create a new category (e.g. "Say What?", "Just Weird", "Odd Cases") ...

Crime must be down in Strathclyde (Scotland). Why? Because police there apparently have nothing better to do than to give a man a ticket for blowing his nose! And his car was stopped! As reported by Sky News:

Michael Mancini had stopped his van in traffic and wiped his nose with a handkerchief.

When he moved off, he was pulled over by police who told him he had not been in control of his vehicle.

Mr Mancini, from Ayrshire, was handed a £60 fixed penalty and given three points on his driving licence.

He told Sky News: "I thought they were joking and that it was a wind-up."

If it is a joke, kudos to the police for letting it play out for so long ...

"I was stopped in traffic and had the handbrake on and thought to myself, 'Ive just got time to blow my nose.'

"Then police pulled me over and I was booked. I genuinely thought they were joking, that it was a wind-up."

The incident occurred in October, but Mr Mancini has refused to pay the penalty.

Well done, sir!

His solicitor wrote to prosecutors earlier this month explaining the offence could not have occurred because Mr Mancini's handbrake was on.

But prosecutors replied the next day warning that if the fine wasn't paid, the case would be taken to court.

Mr Mancini added: "I intend taking this all the way to court. I still don't believe it actually happened."

A Strathclyde Police spokesman said: "A 39-year-old man is the subject of a report to the procurator fiscal in connection with an alleged traffic offence on October 26."

Here's the source.

Do you think Mr. Mancini caved? Nope. And the charges were dropped! This will give you some insight into why the ticket was issued. As reported in The Daily Record:

The cop who handed out the ticket was PC Stuart Gray, who has been dubbed PC Shiny Buttons for his zealous approach and attention to detail.

He was exposed last year after issuing a £50 fixed penalty to a man who dropped a £10 note in the street by mistake.

If you want to confirm that The Juice did not make this up, click here for the source.

It was not a good night for this young lady, who will most likely be looking for a new boyfriend. As reported by the Colorado Springs Police Department:

February 10, 2011 Time: 2:28:00 AM Division: Stetson Hills Title: Disturbance

Summary: Officers were sent to a residential area in close proximity to Sand Creek High School, to investigate a domestic disturbance. A couple had gone to a downtown nightclub and had a good time partying together. On the way home, it turned sour and resulted in the 22 year old male striking his 22 year old girlfriend several times while she drove home.

They continued their trip home while still arguing, the male grabbed the steering wheel causing the demise of the vehicle in which they were traveling. The 2009 Ford Sedan struck a tree, causing extensive damage and minor injury with the deployment of both front air bags.

The male fled the scene, but not before stealing his girlfriends purse. He was apprehended after an extensive search of the area by officers about a mile and a half from the scene. He was made to post bond on the charges of Theft from a Person (Felony) and three Misdemeanors; Reckless Endangerment, Third Degree Assault, and Harassment. Alcohol was a factor with all aspects of this event.

Hmmm. Smacked her a bunch of times while she was driving, caused them to crash into a tree, stole her purse, and then ditched her at 2:30 a.m. Not cool.

If this dude is a sports fan, here's guessing that his favorite cliche is the one about running a successful play over and over until the opposing team stops it. Now, It may be useful in sports, but in crime? Not so much. Especially crimes against property ... As reported in The Spectator [Hamilton, Ontario]:

Police had staked out a Subway restaurant on Lake Street Tuesday that’s been robbed three times before, when a man robbed the Esso gas bar next door at Scott Street.

The suspect was nabbed with the cash running from the gas bar. Turns out, detectives say the man is the same one who’s hit the Subway so often.

A 38-year-old St. Catharines man has been charged with four counts of robbery and was scheduled to appear in St. Catharines court Wednesday.

In his defense, at least it was a neighboring establishment ... You can find the source here.

If you have a son, or know someone who has a son, or have even a tenuous connection to popular culture, then you know how many young males play Xbox LIVE. (It allows gamers to play with other gamers, online, and to talk with each other.) So, why did The Juice warn you not to let your son read this? As reported by wbaltv.com:

Police said a California woman was arrested Friday after she allegedly befriended a 13-year-old Maryland boy on the Internet and traveled to his home to have sex.

Rachel Ann Hicks, 36, of Lake Forest, was arrested Friday by Orange County Sheriff's investigators on suspicion of child molestation and rape.

Hicks and the teen initially met in September on an X-box Live chat room, police said. The online relationship progressed to phone calls, texting, e-mails and sexually explicit images and movies between one another, according to a police news release.

Hicks allegedly told the boy she was 23 years old. Police said she flew to Maryland and met him at his home, where they engaged in sexual intercourse on Thanksgiving.

Couldn't find any gamers in the most populous state in the nation? Well ...

Hicks admitted to having sex with another minor male victim in California, police said.

The charges?

Hicks was charged with two counts of rape, one count of a second-degree sex offense and one count of sexual solicitation of a minor.

Here's the source, including a photo of Ms. Hicks.

The Juice is confident this kid wishes he was just playing with matches and burned himself. Why? Because, while playing with a gun, he shot himself in the ... As reported by The Orlando Sentinel:

An Orlando teen begged police to call an ambulance late Saturday after shooting himself in the testicles, according to police reports.

"I shot myself by accident," the 17-year-old boy said. "Get an ambulance."

Yikes. And how exactly did you do that?

The unidentified teenager was lying on his bed, watching TV and playing with a 9 mm. pistol about 8:30 p.m. when it fired. "I was trying to tie the gun around my leg," he said, describing the accidental discharge to officers.

While it was loaded? Dude! Adding insult to - ouch! - injury:

The police department is recommending that the Orange-Osceola State Attorney's Office charge the victim with unlawful possession of a firearm by a minor and unlawful discharge of a firearm.

Here's the source.

Under virtually any scenario, this lady would have gotten away with stealing (not borrowing - she didn't return it) a neighbor's shovel to dig out her car after the Chicago snowstorm. Unfortunately for her, the gent she stole the shovel from is in the video equipment business (think "surveillance cameras" - lots of them). So, having reviewed his footage and having seen it all go down, as you can below, he got his revenge (also included in the clip below).

Regular Juice readers may recall that this will not be the first post involving a Motion to Continue a trial due to ... a football game! I'm sure it won't be the last, unfortunately.

And just in case you think that maybe The Juice just doesn't like football ... He was spotted at 3 Super Bowls over the years, coincidentally all involving the Redskins ... Furthermore, he was spotted at almost every home Redskins game from 1967 until that painful day in December 1996 (notwithstanding the thrashing of the Cowboys) when the curtains closed at RFK.

Having established his bona fides, let's just say it's not a motion The Juice would ever file (not that there's anything wrong with it ...) Think the judge granted it? Yup, he did. Click here to read the Motion.

No! I told you not to tell me that! As reported by The Cincinnati Enquirer:

The 88-year-old Blue Ash woman arrested after refusing to give a 13-year-old neighborhood boy his football back after it landed in her yard has sued the youth's parents, alleging emotional distress.

Don't laugh. This is serious stuff.

The suit contends that members of the Tanis household "have thrown objects against the side of Ms. Jester's house, into her gardens and onto her porch."

The Tanises and their minor children "regularly and without permission" enter Jester's yard to retrieve footballs and other play items that have been "carelessly tossed" onto her property, the suit adds.

See what I mean? Very serious stuff. Oh, the pain! This is exactly the kind of case a personal injury lawyer hates to see.

He did! Listen to the 911 call [above]. So what happened after the call? As reported by The Hartford Courant:

Dispatchers traced the call to 192 Waterville Road, the home of Robert J. Michelson.

He told narcotics officers who visited his home that he had spent a lot of money online buying everything he needed to grow marijuana. He had one small plant at home, along with seeds and equipment for growing, police said.

Michelson also had drug paraphernalia for personal use.

If this was an attempted candor pander, it failed.

He was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, illegal cultivation of marijuana, possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia in a drug factory.

Michelson was brought to Farmington police headquarters where he was released on $5,000 bond. Police said he was cooperative with officers, but made an obscene gesture at the dispatchers.

Yeah, it was all the dispatcher's fault. Here's the source.

Just remember that you heard it here first: If you call a spade a spade, it's a spade for certain purposes if you think it is, even if it's really not. Confused? So, most likely, are the New York women who are referred to as "prostitutes" by Johnny Law because a man thought they were (they weren't). As reported in North County Now (New York):

Robert E. Millar, 60, offered two females money in exchange for sex Monday morning at about 10:15, troopers said, and squeezed the buttocks of one of the females.

Millar has been charged with two counts of patronizing a prostitute and one count of forcible touching. The females were not prostitutes and did not accept any money, and state police explained that the law uses the word "prostitute" for anyone who is solicited to engage in sexual conduct.

Feel better ladies? Didn't think so. Here's the source.

How would you like your books today - with syrup, catchup, or mayonnaise? A library in Boise, Idaho had a real problem because someone kept dumping condiments in the book-drop. The perp was finally caught after a surveillance system was installed. And yes, she did get jail time. Why did she do it? She was retaliating against the library for being banned from entering it. As reported by The Idaho Statesman:

Joy L. Cassidy was taken away in handcuffs Friday after pleading guilty to misdemeanor malicious injury to property.

The special prosecutor hadn’t pushed for jail time, and Cassidy’s attorney said she needed weekly counseling that had helped her with anger-management and other issues.

But Judge Kevin Swain sentenced her to serve at least 27 days in jail. “Judge Swain sent a message today that people who engage in the kind of conduct that Ms. Cassidy engaged in will not be tolerated,” said Special Prosecutor Tim Fleming of the Canyon County Prosecutor’s Office. “You’re going to go to jail.”

Cassidy’s sentencing was the final chapter in one of the more bizarre crimes in Boise in recent years. When she was arrested after dumping syrup, ketchup and mayonnaise into a library book-drop, many wondered what her motive was — other than to destroy public property and create a gooey mess.

It came out in court on Friday that Cassidy, 75, was retaliating for being banned from the Ada Community Library in 2007 because of conflicts she’d had with the staff and other patrons.

“The library was the one place that she went in a social setting where she had contact with people,” Cassidy’s attorney, Gabriel McCarthy, told Judge Swain. “It broke her heart when she couldn’t go back. And it’s something she couldn’t let go.”

In spring 2009, Cassidy dumped maple syrup in the box, the first of more than 10 acts of vandalism over the course of the next year, according to police and library officials. The library spent about $1,000 on a surveillance system to finally catch her.

10+? That's a serious grudge. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

If this dude decides to remain in the relationship, he would be well-advised to have a pack of cigarettes on hand at all times, and be willing to share them. As reported by The Morning Call (Allentown):

Bethlehem police said a woman went on a rampage Monday night when her boyfriend denied her a cigarette and attacked him with a steak knife.

Linda Sellers, 55, is charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, simple assault, reckless endangerment, terroristic threats, harassment and possessing an instrument of crime. Sellers, of 714 Hayes St., is in Northampton County Prison under $750,000 bail.

Yikes. Here's the official police version:

Officers were called to the home for a report of a woman yelling. Sellers answered the door and said, "Oh, good. It's the (expletive) police!"

Police said Sellers pointed to Camilleri, who was sitting on the couch holding a steak knife he had wrestled away from her, and told the officer she was going to kill him.

Camilleri told police he was sleeping on the couch when Sellers awoke him and asked for a cigarette. When he told her to buy her own, police said Sellers threw items around the apartment and overturned a glass coffee table.

Sellers went into the kitchen, grabbed a steak knife and attacked Camilleri, police said. He suffered three cuts on the top of his head and was treated and released from St. Luke's Hospital-Fountain Hill, police said.

Here's the source.

Sure, there are more delicate ways to say this. But regular readers know The Juice prefers the blunt approach. So ... The governing administration in Malawi is proposing legislation that would outlaw farting in public! Truth! As reported by afrik-news.com:

The Bingu wa Mutharika led administration is to introduce a raft of legislation that seeks to criminalize an everyday natural occurrence of “passing gas” with the intention to “mold responsible and discipl[ined] citizens.”

Certainly a fair amount of discipline would be involved ...

The Local Courts Bill of 2010, according to Malawi media reports, is to be presented in the forthcoming Parliament sitting by Minister of Justice, George Chaponda. The bill, reports say, also deals with citizens who hinder the burial of dead bodies as well as people who pretend to be fortune tellers.

Is there any opposition?

Mr. John Tembo’s [he's the leader of the opposition party] criticism of the bill is believed to have stricken a chord with local critics who argue that the capacity of the local justice system to handle the expected influx of cases is questionable.

And this, from an anonymous citizen:

Commenting on the bill, a Malawian is quoted as saying: “How can this government criminalise the release of intestinal gases …. Everyone does that, even if it’s in public or it has an accompanying sound which is boring, making it criminal is a joke of democracy.”

Any supporters out there? At least one.

Another [Malawian] said he “support(s) the bill and is welcome. Sometimes breaking wind in public or during meetings is a disturbance of the peace".

Since the anti-flatulence provision is only part of the proposed bill, perhaps it's removal would take the wind (oh!) out of the opposition's sails. Here's the source.