Legal Juice

This simple plan failed in the execution (of the plan, not the flies ...). As reported in The Nanjing Morning Post:

Police in Nanjing, Jiangsu province, recently arrested three men who cheated restaurants of money after putting dead flies in their food.

Wu, Wang and Zheng, all in their 20s and jobless, extorted money from three restaurants using this modus operandi, threatening to smash the eatery if they are not compensated.

Smash the joint? Crude, but definitely faster than filing a lawsuit. So how were they caught?

They were arrested after a restaurant owner spotted them putting a fly in their food and phoned the police.

Should have eaten the evidence ...

Most of you are too young to remember that Henny Youngman punchline. Anyway, why do so many people who have done something wrong, like this gent, call the police? As reported in Al-Watan Arabic Daily:

A Kuwaiti man filed a missing person’s report on his Moroccan wife at Maidan Hawalli Police Station. 
Police managed to identify the wife’s hideout and summoned her for interrogation.

The woman’s story, however, shocked police. She said her husband offered her to another man to have sex in exchange for dropping his loans. Hence, the woman said, she ran away and insisted that she would not return.

So much for "You've made your bed, now lie in it."

No worries using the phone in the police station lobby under normal circumstances. Unfortunately for a certain young man in Eugene, Oregon, these were not normal circumstances! As reported in The Register-Guard:

A man suspected of bank robbery, who apparently just wanted to phone his parents, was arrested Wednesday. His mistake: making the call from the Eugene police station lobby. “I just assume that he didn’t believe that we’d recognize him,” Detective Ralph Burks said.

Note to self: Doh!

Police arrested Nathan Alan Bramlage, 23, about two blocks from the police station after an officer spotted him in the lobby and apparently recognized him from a surveillance tape of the bank robbery, which had occurred the previous day.

The officer alerted detectives, who trailed Bramlage on foot and arrested him without incident. He was booked into the Lane County Jail on charges of second-degree robbery as well as violating probation on an earlier charge of delivering heroin.

The arrest was made a little more than 24 hours after police responded to the Wells Fargo bank at 99 E. Broadway in downtown Eugene. A man had approached a teller, claimed to have a gun and left with an undisclosed amount of cash, police said. The bank also is just a few blocks from the police station where Bramlage came to use the public phone in the lobby.

With everything so close together, how about that minimal carbon footprint? Here's the source.

Outrageous, right? But true. As reported by UPI:

Police in Australia have set what they describe as "very generous limits" for an upcoming auto race [The Bathurst 1000]

The limit?

... no more than a case of beer a day for adults.

Holy shiznit. You know Aussie's like their beer if a case a day is a "limit." For The Juice, it would mean death by alcohol poisoning. And if you're not a beer drinker:

Racing fans who do not like full-strength beer have other choices. They can bring in 36 cans of beer with alcohol content of 3.5 percent or less, a case of pre-mixed cocktails or up to 4 liters (about 8 quarts) of wine.

Zoinks. That's a lot of booze!

If Pennsylvania residents Kimberly Holzlein and Jill Hillard ever offer you ANY food or drink, don't take it! Why not? Per The Citizens Voice:

The two were charged with neglect of a care-dependent person while they were employees of ARC of Wyoming County.

The charges stem from accusations that Holzlein and Hillard served feces as pudding and urine as lemonade to a mentally challenged woman in their care during the summer of 2008 at an ARC group home in Tunkhannock Township.

They pleaded guilty. The sentence?

... up to a year in prison ... [with] a minimum of 30 days.

Here's the source.

The Juice can say with near certainty that such a pleading has not been filed before. The pleading? A writ of possible simcha. Say what? Was it granted? Click here to read it, and Judge Wood's ruling. (It's short.)

Let's just say this story involves seeking comfort from an animal, specifically, a donkey. You have been warned. As reported in The Sunday News:

In an incident that left the people of Filabusi dumbstricken, a 71-year-old widower was last week arraigned before the courts after he was caught raping a donkey.

The accused, Edwin Ndlovu, resides at Lunyame Village [in Zimbabwe] under Chief Bekezela Sibaya. He was charged for contravening section 74 of the criminal law (Codification and Reform Act) chapter 9:23, Beastility.

He appeared before Filabusi magistrate Miss Sheila Nazombe on 18 November and was found guilty.

Mr Jethro Mada for the state told the court that on 15 November at around noon the accused was caught having sex with a donkey in a bush near the fields.

The offence was discovered by the owner of the donkey, Mr Jeconiah Gumpi (62), who resides in the same village. Upon catching him at the scene, Mr Gumpi demanded an explanation as to why the accused was having sexual intercourse with his donkey.

The accused did not give a satisfactory answer, and the owner of the donkey reported the matter to the police leading to his arrest.

[scratching head] What exactly would qualify as a "satisfactory answer?" Here's the source.

This dude couldn't have made it much easier for the police to bust him. As reported in the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

Summary: On 11/20/2010 at approximately 1230hrs, female victim came into the Sand Creek Substation to report a possible violation of restraining order. While the victim was being interviewed by officers, the male suspect continued to contact her through text messages.

In one of his messages, he stated he was inside the victim's home. Officers were dispatched to victim's home and discovered the male inside the residence. He was taken into custody on multiple domestic violence charges.

Wait. You mean this violates the restraining order? Doh!

See if you can follow this. So this lady's cat illegally (and stupidly) goes into the neighbor's yard. Why was it stupid? Because a pit bull resides there. Things got ugly, and the pair ended up under a neighbor's mobile home. Dog owner's sister tries to get cat out and, for her services, cat bites her hand. Dog owner then shoots the cat! Why? To protect herself, her sister, and the dog, from ... the cat. According to the cat's owner, the cat was just trying to get away from the dog [which wouldn't have been an issue if it wasn't illegally outside!]

Everyone got charged in this one. Dog owner was charged with animal cruelty (a felony) and discharging a firearm in public (a misdemeanor - sorry PETA, but shouldn't those charges be reversed?). Cat owner was cited for letting her cat loose, and improper vaccination documentation. The Juice suspects we've not heard the last of this. For the full story in The Lakeland Ledger, click here.

In many countries this would simply be considered pathetic, not criminal. But in Kuwait? As reported by The Arab Times:

Police have arrested an Egyptian man for luring a Kuwaiti woman to commit immoral act, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. 



The arrest came when the man was distributing leaflets to residents of Nugra. When he came in contact with the victim he allegedly began to flirt with her and used indecent words.

The woman sought the help of a Syrian woman, her neighbor, and handed the man over to the police.


According to reports the man attempted to escape but the Syrian screamed for help and neighbors wrestled the man to the ground and beat him.


An arrest and a beat down? Yikes.

Let's just say that you wouldn't want to live in an apartment owned by Vincent Tan of Edmonton, Alberta. Here's what he was up to: A tenant came home and found Mr. Tan with his pants off and an erection visible through his underwear. Zoinks! Enter the police, who then searched Mr. Tan's home, and found a cache of videotapes.

On some of the videos, Tan is in the women's apartment, and is masturbating while wearing their lingerie and clothing. On others, Tan is featured, in the women's apartment, in “various sexually compromising positions.” And, this is truly, truly nasty [cat lovers - you have been warned - go now, and come back to Legal Juice tomorrow] Tan disclosed that he once masturbated a male cat for "experimental purposes." You were warned!

You'll never guess who this man lives with. His mother! And his sentence? Three months house arrest (they had to punish his mother too?), 9 months with an 11:30 p.m. curfew (keep your cats in during the day!), 100 hours of community service, and psychological counseling.

Sometimes folks close a door a little loudly by accident. But when you slam a door, you're saying something. When Marbelis Dorado left Judge Chet A. Thorpe's Florida courtroom, she let the door do the talking. And Judge Chet didn't like what he heard. As reported in The St. Petersburg Times:

... the judge had modified her probation as she had asked, but he also read a letter from her probation officer stating that said she regularly defies authority.

Hmm. "Defies authority."

[She] ... punctuated her courtroom exit with a loud thud.

Bad move.

"Go get her," Tharpe told the bailiff, who returned with the woman. "Take her into custody."

"Oh, please!" she told him. "I'm sorry!"

"Hook her up," Tharpe responded.

Clearly hooking someone up has a different meaning in Judge Tharpe's courtroom than almost everywhere else.

So she sat with other defendants, shackled at the ankles and wrists, weeping into her hands.

More than half an hour later, Tharpe found her guilty of criminal contempt, ordered her to anger management and told her to have a nice day.

Not surprisingly ...

This time, she made a more quiet exit.

Click here for the source.

So if the guy has 43 shoplifting CONVICTIONS, how many times do you think he actually shoplifted? As reported by The Toronto Sun:

Anthony Bennett looked back at a bank of reporters and observers at his court appearance Tuesday and mouthed a silent obscenity at them.

The career shoplifter, with 43 previous convictions, faces another five counts of theft laid in October. His case was put over once again and he will now appear Thursday.

But he’s most famous for being chased down and tied up by Lucky Moose grocery owner David Chen.

Chen was charged with assault and forcible confinement but later acquitted at a celebrated trial where Bennett testified for the prosecution.

No doubt that helped the prosecution's case ... But back to the present ...

Bennett, 52, mouthed “f--- you” at the group seated behind him, which included journalists and Chi-Kun Shi, a lawyer who has been helping the alleged victim in the case, grocer Jeff Ng.

Perhaps Mr. Bennett is angry because ...

Shi said she has been trying to convince Crown prosecutors to consider banning Bennett from Kensington Market and Chinatown as a condition of any bail he may get in the case,

43 times! Here's the source.

Before you go calling the police about that giant schlong on your driveway, perhaps it's worth determining if it's paint or ... A homeowner in Millville, New Jersey skipped that step, and called Johnny Law, unnecessarily, as reported by The News of Cumberland County.

Someone graced an East Vine Street driveway with a drawing of a penis early Monday morning or before.

The person who called police reported that someone had spray painted the phalus, but police on scene discovered it was chalk. They advised the property owner to wash it off with water and reported no actual property damage.

Hey, sidewalk chalk! We could be on to something big here!

It was not The Juice's intention to focus on poorly executed crimes this week. Nevertheless, fresh on the heels of yesterday's post, comes this story of a woman whose getaway car had vanity plates WITH HER NAME ON THEM. As reported by WMUR-TV:

Police said surveillance video show a woman wearing a ski mask and hooded sweatshirt robbing the store. Investigators said the robber approached a clerk who was stocking candy and said the pharmacy was being robbed.

Police said employees were on edge after the pharmacy was robbed two days earlier by two men with a shotgun, and workers thought the woman was armed, as well.

"The clerk saw an object in her hand," said Capt. Gerald Lessard. "The clerk assumed she was armed with a handgun because of statements made by the woman." Police said Usher was armed with a painter's knife.

No doubt the perp thought it was all good as she drove away. But ...

Police said a witness who saw the robber get into a car made a note of the license plate, "B USHER."

Damn witnesses are everywhere! So what's Ms. Usher's defense?

In court, Usher said she doesn't remember anything that happened that day. She said she was just released from a hospital and was on medication.

You can see a video of the story and read more here.

What happens when a robbery is both poorly planned and poorly executed?

Even money says the dude is still running.

You can put your eyeballs back in their sockets. You read it right: 3 months in the slammer (and a fine of about $600!) for possessing 5 firecrackers. From the New Straits Times (Malaysia):

A jobless man was sentenced to three months' jail and fined RM2,000 by the magistrate's court yesterday for possessing five firecrackers.

Mohd Zafizie Mohd Zawawi, 29, pleaded guilty to committing the offence at Gate J of Sultan Mohamed IV Stadium at 9pm on Saturday.

Zafizie, from Kampung Belakang Masjid, who was unrepresented, told magistrate Nik Habri Muhamad neither he nor his parents could afford to pay a high fine.

"I have repented and I promise not to commit the offence again. This will be my first and last offence."

Krykie! A first offender too.

[The magistrate] told Zafizie that he had committed a serious offence because the stadium was a place for recreation.

Oh, and if Zafizie's family can't pay the fine ...

"If you fail to pay the fine, the jail sentence will be extended by another month."

So it will probably be almost 1 month in jail per firecracker...

Forget about "I only had 2 drinks ..." or "I was looking for the Easter Bunny..." Wait, that's what this dude said he was doing. As reported by The Union Leader:

John Fowler, 50 ... claimed a man had come to his house with information about the location of the Easter Bunny, and Fowler said he attempted to follow him.

What, like you wouldn't do exactly the same thing?

When he lost the Easter Bunny informant, he tried to return home but crashed his car, Fowler reportedly told police.

Fowler did not sustain any injuries in the minor crash in the area of 105 Main St. around 1:30 a.m., but faces numerous charges, including driving while intoxicated, reckless driving, driving after suspension and misuse or failure to display plates. He was also arrested on two outstanding warrants from the court, police said.

Fowler was released on personal recognizance bail and is scheduled to appear in Candia District Court on Dec. 13 for arraignment.

Personal recognizance for a guy busted for drunk driving, on a suspended license, with two outstanding warrants? The Juice is not so trusting. Here's the source.

Hey man, The Juice just finds the news. He doesn't make this stuff up. (I know him, and seriously doubt his imagination would be up to the task.) Darin Cassler of Burlington, Vermont was arrested for starting a pillow fight, albeit a large one. As reported by The Burlington Free Press:

The pillow pugilism broke out Friday afternoon on Church Street and involved perhaps 50 people, according to a video organizers posted on the social-networking site Facebook. The “fight” wrapped up in less than two minutes, and then a police officer strolled up to the scrum, removed Cassler from the crowd and led him away by the left arm, according to the video.

Asinine. The charge?

[Cpl. Paul] Glynn issued Cassler a citation for disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor that carries a maximum sentence of 60 days in jail and $500 in fines. The statute requires a person to have acted with “intent to cause public inconvenience, or annoyance or recklessly creating a risk thereof” by engaging in “fighting or in violent, tumultuous or threatening behavior,” making “unreasonable” noise, using “abusive or obscene language” in public, disturbing a legal assembly or meeting, or obstructing vehicle or pedestrian traffic.

Excellent work, Corporal!

You did. You just jacked that little girl's Barbiemobile. Curse you! As reported by Florida's nwfdailynews.com:

A Crestview woman was arrested recently after city police determined she had slipped an acquaintances granddaughter’s Barbie Power Wheel Jeep into her car, on the advice of her boyfriend.

The boyfriend then sold the little girl’s toy, valued at $75, for $20, according to a Crestview police report.

How'd they get caught?

Notified of the theft by an in-law, the victim offered to not go to the police if the thief would return the Barbie Power Wheel Jeep within 24 hours.

A nice offer but ...

The Barbie Power Wheel Jeep had already been sold, according to the police report.

So ...

The victim went to the police.

Here's the source.

All couples have disagreements. Fortunately, most folks don't handle them the way this Sioux Falls, South Dakota couple did. Here's what went down, as reported by The Argus Leader (per the police):

Edward Martin Lopez Jr. and Russett Lynn Cantrell, both 27, began to argue at their home ... early Sunday morning.

Mr. Lopez struck Ms. Cantrell.

Ms. Cantrell then chased Mr. Lopez around the house, throwing things at him.

Not surprisingly, Mr. Lopez left.

Mr. Lopez returned, and allegedly tried to hit Ms. Cantrell with the car.

In response, Ms. Cantrell then grabbed a rake and swung it at the car, then continued to swing it at Mr. Lopez as he got out of the vehicle brandishing the painter's pole.

What about the knife?

A witness called police after Cantrell went into the house for a knife then came after Lopez with it ...allegedly stabbing at the car as he drove away again.

So the police came. After all that, guess who wanted to press charges? Neither of them! To no avail, though.

Lopez was pulled over near the house and charged with aggravated assault and DUI. Cantrell was charged with aggravated assault.

HT: Juice fan who [understandably!] wishes to remain anonymous. Here's the source.

You're thinking "of course." Like most things in life, though, it's not that simple. Or ... is it? Dude got married in Pennsylvania, and years later married his girlfriend in Nevada. Pennsylvania charged him with bigamy, and got a conviction.

Not so fast, said Mr. Seiders. I got married in Nevada, not in Pennsylvania. So, even if I did commit bigamy, it was in Nevada, not here. Case dismissed!

What does the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania think of this argument? Not so much. Being married, it says, is conduct that occurred in Pennsylvania. Case closed!

So who won? Mr. Seiders. Said the Court:

The crime of bigamy, under section 4301, is committed at the time when and in the place where the second marriage is contracted or purported to be contracted.

Sentence reversed! Appellant (Mr. Seiders) discharged! The case is Commonwealth v. Seiders (2010 PA Super 194), which you can read here.

A police officer who stepped up in a Fortitude Valley freestyle rap battle has become a cult hit on YouTube, as reported by The Courier-Mail.

The clip shows the officer being taunted by local rapper Fluence, who risks arrest for obscenity and public nuisance with a line about ``makin' bacon''.

Instead of whipping out the cuffs, Constable Jay pulls out a put-down - referring to his adversary ``downloading gay porn and watching it in slow-mo''. The crowd erupts. Constable Jay then quells the uproar with a plea to ``not cause too much of a ruckus''. Constable Jay has since earned the nickname ``Slim Shady'' from his fellow officers.

Here it is:

Constable Jay may have a new career ...

And Real Talk Battles League president Dennyson Willoughby has invited him to participate in a police versus citizens ``battle'' fundraiser at the PCYC. ``Honestly, I've had run-ins with officers and I've never met one so cool,'' Mr Willougby said.

"He just basically stood there, took it with a grain of salt, gave back his two cents and before it got out of hand, said: 'Oi, oi, calm down'.

``He's obviously got skills. Not only did his rhyme make sense, and it was an effective punchline, but he actually fed off of Fluence's rhyme scheme, rhyming 'low-low' and 'po po' with 'hobo' and 'slo-mo'.

``It was a pure, quality, 100 per cent battle-style rebuttal - which came from a cop... which was unexpected.''

Here's the source.

Sure, getting kicked there hurts. How about getting shot there?

A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.

Police said the 17-year-old, whose name is being withheld because he's a minor, walked into Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center at about 5:45 p.m. with a gunshot wound.

The gun is still outstanding, police said, and the teen has not been cooperative.


Cooperation is probably not at the forefront of this kid's mind right now... Source: The Oakland Tribune/Times-Herald

Now, dear, don't be ... oh my! He is driving backwards - down the highway! As reported by tdn.com (Washington State):

Police arrested a driver Thursday night who was cruising along Interstate 5 — in reverse.

The 41-year-old man drove at least three miles backward on Interstate 5 before his arrest around 8:30 p.m. Thursday, Cowlitz County Sheriff’s deputy Ryan Cruser said.

Holy shiznit! 3 miles in reverse? That's some serious talent right there.

Police said they saw the man laughing as they approached the vehicle, which came to a stop in the middle of three northbound lanes at milepost 55 — not far from a rest area by the Cowlitz County-Lewis County border, according to Cruser.

The man refused to roll down his windows when police approached his rented 2009 Dodge Avenger, Cruser said. Police broke the window to arrest him.

Wait. Don't ta ....zzzzzzzzzz

Deputies used a Taser to subdue the driver when he began to struggle during the arrest, said Sgt. Blair Schmidt with the Washington State Patrol.

Alcohol and drugs are not believed to be a factor in the incident, Cruser said. Police plan to have the driver, a resident of Canada whose name wasn’t released, evaluated for possible mental problems.

Perhaps mad, definitely mad skills ... Here's the source.

You've been on the lam for 12 years. Is Facebook really a good idea? In a word: NO! And even if you are bold enough to do this, would you name the town where you're working? Especially if it's a really, really small town? Well, Robert Lewis Crose named the town (Cut Bank), and he got busted. As reported in The Independent Record (Helena, Montana):

A man who absconded from parole in California 12 years ago after shooting a man has been arrested in Cut Bank, where authorities say he’s been working harvests for a decade.

Sgt. Tom Siefert of the Glacier County Sheriff’s Office said a fugitive task force in California learned Robert Lewis Crose, 47, was working in the Cut Bank area from updates to Crose’s Facebook page.

He was on parole following prison for a 1996 incident in Ventura, Calif., in which Crose, then the owner of an appliance store, used a shotgun to fend off an intruder armed with a rubber hose, according to reports from the Los Angeles Times.

He was convicted of making a terrorist threat and another gun violation, served less than a year in prison before being released on parole, had his parole revoked, and was paroled again in October 1998.

California authorities sent pictures of Crose to Montana, which police and deputies handed out around town Friday. Saturday around 11:30 a.m., they got a call saying Crose was in a local casino, where he was arrested without incident.

Damn you Zuckerberg! You can read more here.

It's not like Ms. McCollister (of Garnerville, Nevada) just gave her son the keys and said "drive." She had him sit on her lap! How drunk was she? .299! To put that in context, having simply read a BAC that high, you should be buzzed. How did Ms. McCollister get to this point? As reported by The Record-Courier:

McCollister told District Judge Dave Gamble on Tuesday that she had been drinking all that weekend. She said she invited an acquaintance to stay at her home because she was in the process of obtaining a temporary restraining order against her husband and she was afraid to be alone.

“He (the houseguest) kept pressuring me to take him home. He drove himself home, and we were in the car. I was pretty much passed out all the way. He pulled into his driveway and just left us there. There was another lady with us, but she didn't have her glasses, so she refused to drive. I had my son get on my lap and drive us,” McCollister said.

Other than lying, there may be nothing judges despise more than the failure to accept responsibility for your actions. Judge Gamble is no exception:

“You just gave me the identities of three or four people whose fault this was, and none of it was yours,” Gamble said. “As long as you think this was anyone else's fault but yours, I have no reason to show any leniency toward you, and you'll get no good out of this.

“All that conspired from your perspective to force you to commit felony child abuse. That's nonsense,” Gamble said. “Next time you're in here, I hope I don't hear a pocketful of excuses for the absolute evilness and irrationality of putting your son on your lap while you're drunk and driving you home.”

And if you're wondering how she got caught, not surprisingly, it turns out a 12-year-old drives a lot like a drunkard.

She was arrested Oct. 17 near the intersection of El Dorado Drive and Village Way in Gardnerville after a Douglas County reserve deputy reported seeing a brown Buick headed north on Highway 395 weaving in and out of the travel lane and varying its speed.

The witness said he passed the vehicle and saw a child in the driver's seat. According to the sheriff's report, he and a deputy contacted McCollister after the vehicle stopped near her residence.

So what is she looking at? ... up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine at her Dec. 14 sentencing [after pleading guilty to attempted child abuse or neglect]. And if the situation wasn't bad enough ...

A woman and a 7-year-old child also were in the vehicle.

And ...

McCollister is to appear Jan. 5 in East Fork Justice Court for sentencing on a second conviction of driving under the influence to which she plead guilty Oct. 20.

It's not that The Juice is unsympathetic to this woman's problem with alcohol. It's just that there is no excuse for putting the lives of your child and others in jeopardy. Here's the source.

So says Green Tree [Pennsylvania] Council President Mark Sampogna. As reported in The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

Green Tree officials said they will not pursue any disciplinary action against police Chief Andrew Lisiecki for his conduct while on prostitution detail last month.

In the letter to Pittsburgh Police Chief Nate Harper and the Allegheny County Chiefs of Police Association, District Attorney Stephen A. Zappala Jr. said the Pennsylvania court determined that it is not necessarily inappropriate for police officers to take off their clothes during such investigations.

Media reports and a criminal complaint revealed that the chief allegedly took off his clothes during an undercover investigation during a sting operation on Sept. 9 at the Radisson Green Tree.

Oh the humanity! The poor man had to get naked in bed with a woman! We already know who to blame for this.

"The fact is that the prostitutes are extremely aware of the laws and know precisely how to avoid arrest" [said Mr. Sampogna].

"What is required for an arrest and conviction is an overt act that unfortunately may require the officer to disrobe. As distasteful as this may seem, the judicial system has created these levels of proof," he said.

What's distasteful is the imposition of one's morals on others. But hey, it's the law. So violate it at your peril. The more relevant law though? The law of supply and demand. Here's the source.

Is it really a good idea to let someone tattoo your back after you've had an argument with him? Um, NO, as a 25-year-old Australian man learned the hard way. The tattoo was supposed to be a yin yang symbol with dragons. As reported by The Courier Mail:

A 21-year-old man has been charged by police in Ipswich for allegedly tattooing a penis on a man's back - instead of the image he had requested.

Yikes.

The 25-year-old victim had been visiting the man, an amateur tattooist, at his home in Bundamba last Wednesday when he was talked into getting a tattoo.

He wanted a yin and yang symbol with some dragons, but was instead shocked to discover the 40cm [almost 16 inches!] tattoo was of a penis with an obscene slogan.

The key word in the slogan was also misspelled.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

The man now faces considerable cost [and pain?] to have the image removed.

Police said the tattooing followed an argument between the men, during which the tattooist allegedly took offence at something the other man said.

The victim has also alleged he was punched and thrown out of the house following the tattooing.

All-in-all, not a good night for the vic. What about the perp? Any charges?

The 21-year-old is due to appear in Ipswich Magistrates Court on November 15 charged with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one charge relating to the Public Safety Act.

Here's the source.

Or else what? If you don't follow Legal Juice on Twitter (@LegalJuice), Kenny gets it.

And don't forget to like Legal Juice on Facebook.

Son of a biscuit! She did crash that funeral. As reported by FoxCarolina.com:

According to a[n] incident report, Nicole Leonard walked into the church while the funeral was going on and started dancing near the casket.

Sure, that's weird, but read on.

The report said that Leonard then started waving a wand around the casket before opening it and laying her hands on the deceased. Leonard then started tapping the deceased man’s head with the wand, which was described as a car antenna.

You might be wondering, as I did, what her connection was to the deceased. None!

“(It’s) kind of ironic and weird in its own right, especially for someone with no connection to the family or the deceased in any way that we can find,” [Laurens County Sheriff Ricky] Chastain said. [He happened to be at the funeral.] “(She) just picked this funeral at random to stop in and do what she did.”

Surely Ms. Leonard can clear this up.

According to the incident report, when Leonard was asked why she did it, she said that she thought it was the right thing to do at the time.

See? It all makes sense. (She was charged with "disrupting a funeral.") Here's the source.