Legal Juice

Most folks want a clean record. But seriously, would you care if you got busted for jostling? If you would, you best watch your step if you find yourself in Warren, Michigan. From the Warren Code of Ordinances:

Sec. 22-108. Jostling.

It shall be unlawful for a person to be found jostling or roughly crowding people unnecessarily in a public place.

Can you imagine someone getting cited for "jostling" and fighting it in court? Think of how many times you could hear people say "jostle." The thought makes The Juice chortle.

The Juice's first reaction upon reading about this was OUCH! This was followed by OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH! That had to hurt - a lot. For a whole bunch of reasons, this dude has to be regretting the piercing. From a report in The Jersey Journal:

A Belmar man was arrested in Downtown Jersey City after allegedly masturbating in front of a sharp-eyed 76-year-old woman who helped identify the man by telling police she noticed his penis was pierced, officials said.

Lionel B. Froloff, 32, was arrested in Hamilton Park at 2:26 p.m. Monday and charged with lewdness and endangering the welfare of children in a nearby playground, reports said.

The woman, who was sitting with her sister, told police she saw Froloff looking at her with a strange expression on his face and then realized what he was doing, reports said.

Arriving officers noticed Froloff had a pierced tongue and when the cop asked if he had any other piercings, Froloff confirmed what his victim had spotted moments earlier, reports said.

The officers said Froloff became angry at police headquarters, used profanity, and insulted one female officer using a racial slur and a second female officer with a sexual suggestion, reports said.

Charming.

Finally, Froloff began complaining of pain in his pants and said the piercing might be infected, reports said. He was taken by ambulance to the Jersey City Medical Center for treatment, reports said.

What a way to cap off the day. Here's the source.

It's like natural law - you don't have to write it down. It just is. Here's the natural law in question: You don't mess with someone's toothbrush. Period. Tell it to Ms. Deborah Woist who, according to the police, definitely messed with HER SON'S toothbrush. As reported by The Morning Call:

Investigators say Deborah Woist, 52, decided on July 18 to tidy up a bathroom inside her Springtown Hill Road because it hadn't been cleaned in two months. The problem, police said, is that she used her son's toothbrush for the job and later returned it to its holder.

Yikes.

The son, 26-year-old Justin Novack, called police claiming his mother applied feces to his tooth brush.

Zoinks. The cops? Yup.

When police arrived at the home, Woist admitted she used the brush for cleaning and then put it back on the holder, police said.

The Juice gives her props for fessin' up, though the cops clearly didn't.

Woist was cited for harassment, police said.

So she ends up cleaning the bathroom and getting busted for her unorthodox methods. Harsh.

Doesn't everyone like colorful birds? Well, if you're in Center Line, Michigan, and want to make your drab bird a little more colorful - don't. Why? In addition to the obvious reasons (so please, PETA, no more emails) because of this law:

Sec. 10-4. Artificially coloring birds.

It shall be unlawful for any person to artificially color, spray or paint any bird or fowl or to sell, offer for sale, or otherwise dispose of any such colored bird or fowl.

Must have been a craze back in the day. And yes, this law is still on the books, under Chapter 10 - Animals.

Some bank jobs are planned very well, at least in the movies. This was no movie-type heist. Per a report by wpxi.com:

A North Braddock man is behind bars after police said he robbed a Swissvale bank wearing a blond wig, fake breasts and clown pants.

Swissvale police Chief Greg Geppert said Dennis Hawkins, 48, was sitting in a parked car covered in dye from an exploding packet when he was arrested Saturday.

The most amazing thing about this is that there is still at least one person WHO DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE EXPLODING DYE PACK! The suspect stealthily entered the bank... um, not exactly ...

Geppert said Hawkins was spotted in a Giant Eagle grocery store before shoplifting a BB gun from K-Mart before entering the bank.

And then?

Authorities said Hawkins robbed the bank at gunpoint then dropped some of it after the dye pack blew up.

The bail? $230,000. Click here for the source, including video footage from the bank.

Lock the doors! Batten down the hatches! Man the battle stations! Why? The homosexuals are coming! Nooooooooo! As reported by The Arab Times:

KUWAIT CITY, April 29: Capital Governorate securitymen have arrested seven homosexuals for wearing indecent clothes while sea swimming in Sharq.
After receiving information on a group of homosexuals clad in indecent clothes, the securitymen rushed to the location and found some of the homosexuals swimming and others on the seashore. They were referred to the authorities for the necessary legal action.

Certainly the United States has a ways to go, but it ain't Kuwait.

Wow. This guy could not have made it easier for the police officer to bust him. He just flat-out looked guilty. From pennlive.com:

Cesar Lopez, a 29-year-old Lebanon, Pa., man, was busted Saturday when he walked up to a police officer with a small bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead, according to Lebanon police.

Police said the officer went into a Turkey Hill convenience store on Lehman Street at 3:25 a.m. Saturday and saw Lopez holding a baseball cap and peering inside it. When Lopez approached the officer, he looked up, and the officer said he saw a small plastic bag stuck to Lopez's forehead. The bag appeared to contain marijuana, police said.

The officer retrieved the bag from Lopez’s forehead and said, “Is this what you are looking for?,” according to the police report. Lopez was charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Kind of bizarre, right? Not too.

It is not uncommon for people to hide drugs in the inside lip of a cap, police said.

Here's the source.

If you've never played doorbell ditch (a/k/a ding dong ditch), well, you're from Mars. Still, as common as it is, kids who hear this story may think twice about it. And perhaps the "victims" of this harmless prank will think twice about how they react. From an article in the Albany Times-Union:

A lawyer retained by the parents of a 14-year-old prankster tackled by a Delmar homeowner characterized the man as an over-aggressive vigilante.

The attorney's account of the incident challenged the folk hero status a deluge of online commentators have granted 37-year-old homeowner Daniel P. Van Plew since the incident Saturday night when the boy rang his doorbell and tried to run away with three friends.

What do you think?

"He (Van Plew) crossed the line. He never should have used that kind of force when he realized it was a 14-year-old who's a small kid," said attorney Kristie Hanson, who represents the teen's parents, Rob and Ann Madeo of Glenmont.

The boy, whose name is being withheld because of his age, is 5-foot-7 and 120 pounds. Van Plew is 5-foot-11, 170 pounds and plays hockey.

Speaking on behalf of the Madeos at her Rotterdam law office on Thursday, Hanson alleged that Van Plew tackled the teen on the asphalt roadway of Egmont Court more than 100 feet beyond his property line, roughly dragged the boy back inside his house with his arms pinioned behind his back, forced him to sit on the floor and said he was going to kill the boy if he tried to leave.

Both Van Plew and the police report stated that the Madeo boy was brought down in the homeowner's yard, an important legal distinction because a homeowner is afforded more protection in a case of self-defense that occurs on one's property compared to off the property.

Hanson said the three other teens engaged with the Madeo boy in "ding-dong ditch" concur that Van Plew tackled the teen off the homeowner's property. "People have a right to defend their homes and property, but when they leave their property to effect a citizen's arrest, the use of force has to be reasonable based on the crime committed," said Lt. Robert Berben.

Interesting, right? You can read more - a fair amount - by clicking here.

Update: Mr. Van Plew was charged and ... the charges were dropped. Read about it here.

Ieshuh Griffin of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, surely must believe in the old adage that "there is no such thing as bad publicity." Otherwise, why would this candidate for the Wisconsin state assembly want to place the words "not the whiteman's bitch" next to her name on the ballot?

Snap! She may want to use those words (she can pick 5 words to go next to her name on the ballot), but will she be allowed to? Almost, but ... nope. As reported by www.CBS58.com:

After first saying she couldn't use the phrase on the grounds that it's obscene and derogatory, the state's Government Accountability Board voted 3-2 Wednesday to allow it. However, four votes were needed for the reversal, so as of now, Griffin will only have "independent" next to her name on the ballot.

Griffin denied a request from CBS 58's Eric Rucker to do an on-camera interview, but defended her slogan over the phone.

"Not, the whiteman's bitch and whiteman's bitch is in quotations," said Griffin. "It's not geared towards a person. The whiteman is a compound word put together. A bitch is a dog or a rollover. I'm making a statement that says, I'm not an average politician."

True. Here's the source, including a video.

Remember that these are just allegations. A man has been charged with having sex with his dog, "a Great Dane named Christie Brinkley" according to The Palm Beach Post.

Armand M. Pacher, 64, a former insurance executive, was booked into a Miami-Dade jail on a charge of animal cruelty, a third-degree felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

Pacher's veterinarian in Gainesville reported him to police after an office worker called him to reschedule eye surgery for the 2 ½-year-old dog and Pacher talked about sex, according to an arrest warrant.

What's the basis for the charge?

"She doesn't seem to enjoy it as much when we have sex. Maybe it's because I haven't been as energetic lately and that's why she's not enjoying it," he allegedly told the staffer when she asked about the dog's health, the arrest warrant said.

Later, at the clinic, a veterinarian concluded that the spayed dog's body had evidence of forced sexual activity, the warrant said. The doctor said the evidence could not have come from another dog, the warrant said.

The defense?

Pacher's attorney, Jeffrey Weiner, said his client denies making the comment, and the allegation. He said the employee misunderstood a wisecrack.

"I'm quite familiar with the evidence that exists, and I'm really disappointed that Aventura police would make an arrest based on unsupported evidence and conclusions," Weiner said. "I expect my client will be full vindicated."

Here's the source.

Unless you're a troglodyte, you've heard this refrain, or something similar, many times over the years, and rightly so: "If you're too drunk to drive, take a taxi." So how could it be that an Australian guy did just that and still got arrested? Let's just say there are different ways to "take" a taxi ... Per The Cairns Post:

The 21-year-old man allegedly stole the taxi from Cooktown's central business district about 6pm on Friday.

Police allegedly found the driver, who was unlicensed, at home where he recorded a blood alcohol level of .209 per cent.

He was charged with unlicensed driving, unlawful use of a motor vehicle and drink-driving and will front Cooktown Magistrates' Court.

No worries. That's only 4 times the legal limit. Crikey.

Sure, it was a big blow to Cleveland Cavaliers fans when LeBron announced that he was headed south. But really, how upset can you get? Pretty upset, judging from this dude. From the Strongsville Ohio Police Blotter:

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, MEADOW LANE: A Strongsville man was advised by police last Thursday evening after he got a little too emotional about LeBron James’ defection to the Miami Heat.

A scared resident called police at 11 p.m. because she heard a man yelling in the woods behind her home. The woman told police the man sounded like he was in distress.

When police arrived, they found the Strongsville man in an agitated state. He was highly intoxicated and he said he was upset about James’ decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers. Police advised the man to go home and calm down.

The Juice has an idea of how this gent might channel all that emotion - Heat-hating.

Seriously, I thought you were someone else ... As reported by The Arkansas Times:

Best reason not to work under your car

In August, a Springdale man, angry at his girlfriend, went to the trailer park where she lived, saw her doing some mechanical work under a jacked-up car, kicked the jack away, causing the car to fall, seriously injuring the woman underneath it. Man was charged with assault, among other felonies, and got no satisfaction from the crime since, uh, it wasn't his girlfriend the car fell on. Some other woman. No word on whether his plea was, “Oops, sorry! Meant to kill somebody else.”

How petty was the theft? Eight dollars! But it didn't end there, per The [Tacoma] News Tribune.

Charging documents gave this account:

Troy J. Montgomery went into the store, picked up a pair of tweezers and put them in his pocket. A store employee confronted Montgomery and told him she was calling police.

It could've ended there ... but it didn't.

Montgomery took the tweezers from his pocket, threw them and headed for the door.

The store’s pharmacist stepped into Montgomery’s path to stop him and was shoved aside. The pharmacist fell to the floor and suffered a 3-inch cut to his arm.

Shoppers took Montgomery to the ground and detained him until Pierce County sheriff’s deputies arrived.

All that over some tweezers? Dude must have desperately needed them.

A deputy asked Montgomery whether he wanted to answer questions about what happened.

“Not really,” Montgomery replied. “Besides being stupid, I don’t even need the thing, about the dumbest thing I ever did.”

Let's hope so. The charges?

... third-degree assault and third-degree theft.

"So, what are you in for?" Well ...

Certainly all relationships have their ups and downs, but this is ridiculous. Chalie Simon, a 19-year-old sophomore at the University of Colorado, and her ex-boyfriend had, according to him, broken up about 20 times over the course of a year!

I'm guessing that he broke up the 20th time, and here's why, as reported by The Boulder Daily Camera:

Cmdr. Tim McGraw said Simon ... went to her former love interest’s apartment in the early morning hours and began throwing rocks at his window.

When the man opened the door for her and offered to let her come in from the cold, she allegedly became irate and tried to make her way into the man’s bedroom [where there was another woman], McGraw said.

After several attempts to remove her from the apartment, the woman allegedly grabbed the man’s genitals and “squeezed hard,” McGraw said.

Ouch!!!!!! thought the males reading this. BFD, thought the females. The police?

[Ms. Simon] was arrested and booked into the Boulder County Jail on suspicion of third-degree assault, domestic violence and first-degree criminal trespass.

You have to wonder WTF this Kansas woman was thinking, or drinking, or ... As reported by The Wichita Eagle:

Police said the woman reportedly pulled into the driveway of a house in the 5000 block of West Douglas at about 8:20 p.m. Wednesday. She got out, urinated in the yard and then slapped a 3-year-old child in the face a number of times.

She then drove away, pulling into a second yard and then a third, where she ran over a mailbox. The locations were several blocks apart, Capt. Darrell Atteberry said.

The woman was pulled over at a fourth address and taken into custody.

Hey, I'll bet if clown intruders infiltrated your house, you'd try to blast them with your shotgun too. Shot-up stuff can be fixed or replaced. But if the clowns get you, it's curtains. As reported by the Hudson Star-Observer, a Roberts,Wisconsin man was not about to take any chances ...

St. Croix County Sheriff Dennis Hillstead said the man was apparently suffering from some kind of hallucination when the incident took place at 3:56 a.m. Friday (July 9) at the home of the man's parents where he resided.

“Deputies got a report that a number of rounds had been fired within the home,” Hillstead said. “More shots were fired when the deputies arrived and he apparently fired a shot at his parents as they fled in a vehicle.” The shots hit the windshield.

The man came out of the house carrying a shotgun, with a bag of shells over his shoulder and yelling at persons unknown, the sheriff said. The man was taken in to custody without incident and has been placed in emergency detention.

The man told investigators that he felt a number of men dressed in clown suits were attempting to invade the house, Hillstead said. The home was severely damaged during the shoot-up.

If these allegations prove to be true, it would be a travesty if this guy keeps his license. Here are the allegations, as reported by The Sudbury Star:

The Notice of Hearing document lists some of the allegations. Patient A was with Bonin from 2003 to 2008. During their patient-physician relationship, he allegedly engaged in "touching, fondling, and kissing Patient A's breasts and making comments of a sexual nature to Patient A."

Patient B was under his care for a year, from 2007 to 2008. During this time he is alleged to have been "making comments of a sexual nature."

What's the governing body doing about this while the charges are pending?

The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario has posted the following explanation on its website:

"It is alleged that Dr. [Miguel] Bonin sexually abused two patients, and committed acts relevant to the practice of medicine that, having regard to all the circumstances, would reasonably be regarded as disgraceful, dishonourable or unprofessional."

How about all three - disgraceful, dishonourable AND unprofessional?

Until his hearing before the college's Discipline Committee, Bonin, who has been practising as a family physician since the mid-1990s and delivers babies, can only meet with his female patients in the presence of a monitor, approved by the college. This monitor is required to log all of the doctor's encounters with female patients. As well, a representative from the college can drop in unannounced at any time to inspect his office.

You can read more - a fair amount - here. And if you want to read more "doctor, doctor" posts, click here.

You're never going to get rich robbing convenience stores, especially this way. In hindsight, it's funny. In all other sights, it's just dumb. Risking getting killed for what's in a 7-Eleven till? Here's the skinny, from the San Diego Union-Tribune:

The 20-something suspect entered the 7-Eleven on Gateway Drive near Home Avenue in the San Diego community of Webster about 4:30 p.m., pointed a gun at the woman staffing the cash register and demanded money, police said. But the clerk indicated to the suspect that she could not understand his demand and refused to hand over any money, according to police.

The would-be robber exited the building and drove away in a late-model green Ford sedan. A detailed description was not available.

If you're a cornered criminal, sometimes just taking off is your best bet. But if you're going to do that, it's best not to leave any evidence behind. As reported in The Naples Daily News:

Cory L. Dalton had some simple advice for his mother, Lori Lynn Larocque, when Collier County sheriff’s deputies say they were caught shoplifting from a Kmart in June: "Run, ma, run."

Remember what The Juice said about the evidence?

Dalton and his mother did run, and got away temporarily. But Larocque left her debit card behind, and on Tuesday investigators located them at Dalton’s home and arrested them.

I thought you had it! Uh-uh. I thought you had it!

Both Dalton, 19, of the 4500 block of Coral Palm Lane, Golden Gate Estates, and Larocque, 38, of the 8900 block of Bonita Beach Road, Bonita Springs, were charged with petty theft. Dalton was also arrested on a warrant for failure to appear in court on a marijuana possession charge.

And in case the cops needed more evidence ...

Surveillance video showed a distinctive tattoo on Larocque’s arm. That tattoo was clearly visible when she was located.

Doh! Here's the source, including photos.

How does this doctor get away with just losing his license and getting fined? The conduct seems criminal to The Juice. What do you think? Per the Winnipeg Free Press:

In what college officials called "an egregious breach" of ethics in their written decision, a Beausejour doctor has been barred from practicing after having a sexual relationship with a mentally unstable patient.

David Corder treated an unnamed woman for five years in the early 1990s. During that time, the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Manitoba found Corder had questionable boundary issues with the patient, had prescribed numerous drugs and failed to properly chart her treatment.

The woman was suicidal, depressed, addicted to prescription drugs and suffered numerous mental health issues, making her particularly vulnerable, the College noted in a recent decision.

It was in 1995 and 1996 that the relationship turned sexual and exploitative.

"He victimized Ms. X," wrote the College. "He used her, abused her trust."

Think that might be a bit of an understatement?

In the same decision the college also noted Corder also had an inappropriate -- but not sexual -- relationship with a second female patient to whom he prescribed potentially addictive drugs.

You already know the punishment:

The College's discipline committee revoked Corder's registration and medical licence and demanded $20,000 in costs.

Really?

Of course, if you don't mind having your head handed to you ... As reported in The South Asian Post:

A woman chopped the head off a man who allegedly tried to attack her and then paraded the head through a market in northern India, police said. Police arrested the woman late on Thursday after receiving calls from frightened witnesses, said police officer Ram Bharose. The woman, 35, told police she had gone to a nearby forest to cut grass for fodder for her cattle when a man attacked her from behind. ''In a bid to save her dignity she beheaded him with a sickle,'' Bharose said, adding that the woman had bite marks on her neck and cheek.

Safe to say she's unlikely to be attacked again ...

Everyone - okay almost everyone - knows that Chinese food comes in those little cardboard containers with the little wire handle. So what was Mr. Edward Ridley of Cordele, Georgia thinking when he tried to smuggle some pot to an inmate in Chinese food in a styrofoam container? Needless to say, the guards were suspicious. As reported by the Dothan Eagle (Alabama):

Court records show deputies arrested Edward Ridley, 41, of Cordele, Ga., and charged him Saturday with felony promoting prison contraband. Records show Ridley apparently entered the Pike County Jail with a styrofoam container with Chinese food inside, including rice and shrimp, for inmate Vincent Thomas. A jailer at the facility used a fork to search the food and found a bag of marijuana.

Things went south from there.

If convicted of the class C felony charge, promoting prison contraband, Ridley faces one to 10 years in prison. He was being held in the Pike County Jail on a $7,500 bond.

Doh!

When is a $15,000 cockatoo not worth $15,000 (12,000 euros)? When it doesn't fly right, of course. And how would a judge make that call? By watching it fly, naturally. Per The Scotsman:

A cockatoo has been made to fly in front of an Austrian judge to try to identify whether it is lopsided in flight and, therefore, not worth the €12,000 (£9,943) its owner paid for it.

The Danish owner is claiming that the bird cannot fly properly because of chronic gout and is demanding his money back from the Austrian seller through the courts.

The owner told the court: "When the cockatoo flies around all crooked, it's worthless."

The cockatoo took its test flight in a hall in front of the judge and a vet.

Exciting stuff no? So does the bird fly right? Not so fast...

A report on the bird's health is expected to be produced in three to four months.

Damn you slow wheels of justice!

Say your neighbor has a trailer in the parking lot with a bunch of furniture in it. You're tired of looking at it, but what to do? In a word ... Craigslist! Yeah, sure, technically (and in ever other way) it's not yours. Carpe diem, right Ms. Kimball? Per the Tampa Tribune:

The 29-year-old resident of Chelsea Meadows apartments got sick of looking at a trailer loaded with furniture in the complex parking lot, Pasco County deputies say.

So she took matters into her own hands by taking a picture of it and posting an advertisement on Craigslist, deputies say.

I doubt Craig was pleased.

"Come get this trailer, attach it to your car and get it out of here," it read. "I'm tired of looking at it, and I have no idea what to do with it. You must take couches and dresser too either keep them or dispose of them, just get them out of here! Thank you! No need to email or call just come get it," it stated. The ad continued with specific directions to the complex. "The trailer is sitting in the parking lot ready to be attached to the car and take. I will delete this post when it is gone. Thank you!"

And?

[The trailer owner's fiancee - actually it belongs to his dad] Jennifer Lepage, ... was home when someone knocked on the door looking for the free trailer. She said it wasn't free and looked outside and saw it had vanished, Andrews said.

Snap! And Ms. Kimball almost pulled it off.

At some point, another person came over looking for the freebie and had the printed advertisement in hand and waited for deputies to arrive.

"If he had not had printed it out, I would have had no way of proving to the deputy that it was on Craigslist because by that time it had been deleted," Andrews said.

The charges?

... deputies arrested Vanessa Kimball, 29, on a charge of grand theft.

The trailer? The furniture? ...

By the next day, according to a sheriff's office report ... the [now damaged] trailer reappeared - still loaded with the furniture - at the end of the complex's driveway ...

Click here for the source.

You've occasionally had one too many. Admit it. But perhaps not as many as a San Diego, California man recently did, as reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune.

A Pacific Beach man had a surprise waiting for him in his living room Sunday morning: a stranger sleeping naked on his couch.

And just in case you need another reason to lock your doors ...

The naked man had mistakenly arrived at the condominium after a night of drinking, inexplicably took off his clothes on the porch and entered the unlocked front door, San Diego Police Lt. Jim Filley said.

After discovering the disrobed interloper around 7:30 a.m., the homeowner went back upstairs to his bedroom, armed himself and told his wife to call 911, Filley said.

“This gentleman thought he had been walking into his own home, which is in Mission Valley” nearly 20 miles away, the officer said. “We think it was an honest mistake.”

The homeowner declined to press trespassing charges against the intruder.

“He was sober, so he got dressed and went on his way,” Filley said.

Here The Juice was getting ready to holler about getting a gun out to deal with a naked guy, and the gunslinger goes and does the right thing. Well done, sir.

It was the night of January 30, 1974, when a young woman, who shall remain nameless, was arrested for prostitution. Having solicited a police officer (doh!), she sought a sentence of probation. Magistrate Judge Richard J. Rome complied. Unfortunately, he also issued the following Memorandum Decision:

This is the saga of ___ ___ ___,
Whose ancient profession brings her before us.
On January 30th, 1974,
This lass agreed to work as a whore.

Her great mistake, as was to unfold,
Was the enticing of a cop named Harold.
Unknown to ___, this officer, surnamed Harris,
Was duty-bent on ___’s lot to embarrass.

At the Brass Rail they met,
And for twenty dollars the trick was all set.
In separate cars they did pursue,
To the sensuous apartment of ___ ___.

Bound for her bed she spared not a minute,
Followed by Harris with his heart not in it!
As she prepared to repose there in her bay,
She was arrested by Harris, to her great dismay!

Off to the jailhouse poor ___ was taken,
Printed and mugged, her confidence shaken.
Formally charged by this great State,
With offering to Harris to fornicate.
Her arraignment was formal, then back to jail,

And quick as a flash she was admitted to bail.
On February 26, 1974,
The State of Kansas tried this young whore.
A prosecutor named Brown,
Represented the Crown.

___ ___, her freedom in danger,
Was being defended by a chap named Granger.
Testimony was presented and arguments heard,
Poor ___ waited for the Judge's last word.

The finding was guilty, with no great alarm,
And ___ was sentenced to the Women’s State Farm.
An appeal was taken, to a higher court ___ went,
The thousand dollar fine was added to imprisonment.

Trial was set in this higher court,
But the route of appeal ___ chose to abort.
And back to Judge Rome, came this lady of the night,
To plead for her freedom and end this great fight.

So under advisement ___’s freedom was taken,
And in the bastille this lady did waken.
The judge showed mercy and ___ was free,
But back to the street she could not flee.

The fine she’d pay while out on parole,
But not from men she used to cajole.
From her ancient profession she'd been busted,
And to society's rules she must be adjusted.

If from all of this a moral doth unfurl,
It is that Pimps do not protect the working girl!

The matter was brought to the attention of the Commission on Judicial Qualifications to determine if Judge Rome violated the Code of Judicial Conduct. What do you think they decided?

Continue reading "Judge Who Rhymes Calls Woman A "Whore." Me Thinks That He Will Rhyme No More." »

If the wacky law isn't bothering you, why bother the wacky law? Maybe to look like you are doing something? In any event, as reported by The Edinburgh Evening News:

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has launched a drive to banish both types, inviting people across the UK to nominate needless laws and excessive regulations which should be ditched.

Any examples?

Failing to report grey squirrels in your garden, it turns out, is illegal. So is being drunk in charge of a cow.

Fans of mince pies, though, should count their blessings that they don't live south of the Border, as eating the sweet treats on Christmas Day is still banned in England under a law brought in by Oliver Cromwell in the 17th century.

More? Okay.

It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the Queen's image upside-down.

A law passed in 1313 makes it illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour. Bizarrely, it is also illegal to die there – allegedly because anyone who dies in parliament is technically entitled to a state funeral and the authorities once wanted to guard against such potential expense.

And if you have to go to the bathroom ...

... a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants ...

But ...

It is apparently legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

There is also seemingly a law that if someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.

Good to know, that last one. Here are a few more:

It appears still to be illegal to stand within 100 yards of a ruling monarch if you are not wearing any socks.

It is also against the law to allow your pet to fornicate with any pet of the royal household.

Okay, so why bother?

Mr Clegg believes letting dormant laws accumulate on the statute book sends out the "wrong signal".

Really? The Juice feels otherwise, and agrees with Professor Kenneth Norrie, head of the law school at Strathclyde University.

"When I heard about this initiative, it struck me it was a bit of a wasted exercise," he says. "Civil servants will be able to advise ministers which laws are causing a nuisance by being there."

Hear, hear. Here's the source.

So, after discovering the glitch (the man's account was only debited 1/1,000th of the amount withdrawn!), he made an additional 171 withdrawals, to the tune of about $25,000. And yes, it was in China, where he could have been sentenced to death (for real). But really, isn't a life sentence just a little bit harsh? Yes, said the Guangdong Provincial High People's Court. After a retrial, Xu Ting was sentenced to 5 years. Here's what his father had to say:

He is innocent He just made a silly mistake. So he should be set free.

Dude - 171 "silly mistakes?" After which your son was on the run for a year before being caught? Xu said he won't appeal. To read more (just a bit), click here.

This one sounds like something out of a movie. Just when you think, okay, that has to be it, the dude keeps it going. It all started with a call to the Wyoming Highway Patrol reporting a man driving erratically. Per The Kemmerer Gazette:

The first caller advised the patrol dispatcher that a white car was swerving all over the highway and had run off the road. The driver of the white car was out of the car and was running back and forth across the roadway in front of traffic. The dispatch center began getting multiple calls from motorists advising that the white male driver of the ... vehicle was standing out in the roadway and was wearing no clothes.

Drunk or crazy guy swerving, running off the road, streaking ...

Approximately four minutes later, calls were received that advised the naked man, later identified as 26-year-old Armondo Cano from Moroni, Utah, was now fighting with another man. Cano eventually re-entered his vehicle and headed eastbound on the Interstate once again.

Naked fighting man, now naked driving man ...

Approximately 17 miles later Cano intentionally rammed another eastbound vehicle occupied by a couple from Cheyenne.

Dude! Really?

When both vehicles stopped Cano, still unclothed, attempted to enter the couple's vehicle. Seeing the crash and unaware of what was really happening, a female passerby stopped to offer assistance.

Uh-oh

Cano forced his way into her vehicle climbing into the back seat as the female driver fled her vehicle on foot.

Smart gal. So that's it? Nope.

Cano found a 9mm semi-automatic handgun in the female s vehicle and began firing it from inside the vehicle out the closed windows. At this time it is unclear how many rounds he fired or exactly what or who he was shooting at.

Once the shooting began the Cheyenne couple [who he'd rammed] attempted to drive away from the scene however Cano, who was now back in his own vehicle, chased after them and rammed them once again.

Reminds The Juice of "The Hitcher" ...

Cano, still in possession of the semi-automatic firearm, traveled approximately 3 miles further down the road where he stopped, exited his vehicle and then lay in the highway with the handgun.

Dude has to be gassed by now, right? Um, not yet.

Several truck drivers and motorists stopped and Cano, with a pipe, began breaking out the glass windows in an unknown number of trucks. One truck driver was cut however it is unknown haw badly he was cut or by what.

Help, police!

At this point, one Trooper arrived on scene and attempted to take Cano in to custody. A struggle began between Cano and the Trooper. The Trooper was assisted by several of the truck drivers in wrestling Cano to the ground. A Sweetwater County Sheriff s Deputy arrived moments later and the individuals were able to gain control of Cano which enabled the officers to handcuff him.

So what happened to Mr. Cano?

[He] is currently being held on an emergency detention and has not been charged ... but does face numerous felony charges.

The Juice needs to take a breather. That was one helluva rampage. Here's the source.

The Juice is not willing to excuse parents who FORGOT - for 40 minutes - that they left their kid locked in the car ... while they ate. (See yesterday's post.) So, you can imagine how The Juice feels about a parent who INTENTIONALLY left her 2-year-old child in a car for 30-45 minutes while she did some [allegedly] bad things. As reported by the Argus Leader (South Dakota):

A Sioux Falls woman reportedly left her 2-year-old daughter in a running car early this morning while she played video lottery.

Bad, right? It gets worse.

Police found the child after a casino employee at Diamond Dan's on 18th Street and Minnesota Avenue called to report a fraudulent lottery ticket at 1:30 a.m., police spokesman Sam Clemens said.

So, not only was she apparently breaking the law, but who knows how long she would have left the child in the car? And about the reported fraud ...

The employee cashed one $300 ticket for 26-year-old Annie Marie Bowden but got suspicious when she returned moments later with another $300 winner.

When police arrived, Clemens said, they found the employee attempting to restrain Bowden, who was trying to tear up the tickets.

Rookie. Everyone knows in that situation you need to EAT the evidence.

Police found four tickets - one of which was an obvious photocopy, he said. The authenticity of the other tickets was unclear.

What about the child?

Bowden reportedly asked officers if she could check on her daughter, who was sitting in a car in the parking lot of a nearby business.

The casino employee told police Bowden had been inside for 30-45 minutes. The child, who Clemens said was crying for her mother when police found her, was taken into protective custody.

The charges?

Bowden was charged with possession of a forged instrument, counterfeiting video lottery tickets and contributing to the abuse or neglect or a minor.

Here's the source.