Legal Juice

Everyone is forgetful occasionally. But some things you just can't forget. Like that you left your baby in the car ... for 40 minutes. It happened in Colorado Springs. This is from the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

Incident Date: June 24, 2010 - Time: 1:30:00 PM - Location: Panera Bread Restaurant

Summary: On the above date and time, officers from the Gold Hill Division were dispatched to the Panera Bread Restaurant to investigate the report of a child that had been left in a car. Officers determined that a 9 month old child had inadvertently been left in a locked car in the parking lot for approximately 40 minutes while the parents had gone into the restaurant for a meal. When the parents came out and realized their mistake, they took immediate actions to call the police and medical personnel.

Two questions: 1) HOW DO BOTH PARENTS FORGET ABOUT A CHILD FOR 40 MINUTES? 2) How can it possibly take you 40 minutes to eat at Panera? Back to the report ..

They took first-aid steps for their child's welfare and the child recovered and was responsive on scene. The baby was transported to Memorial Hospital (Central) as a precautionary measure for evaluation. There was no indication of any injury to the child and he was released to the custody of the parents.

So what do you think? Crime or no crime?

After an exhaustive investigation and consultation with appropriate agencies, no criminal charges were filed in this case. This incident serves as a reminder that leaving children unattended in a vehicle is dangerous and potentially fatal.

Really? Perhaps the reminder would be a little more powerful if the parents were punished!

No doubt that, unfortunately, lots of people have pushed their kids around in a stroller while intoxicated. But this takes the cake, as reported by annarbor.com:

Ypsilanti police arrested a drunken couple early this morning after they were pushing a baby stroller with two young boys, open containers of alcohol and a bayonet inside, a police news release said.

According to the release, officers responded to the 500 block of Perry Street about 1:30 a.m. after the woman attempted to grab a bicycle off someone's porch.

Security guards had been watching the couple and detained the woman, the release said. Officers found the woman's sons, ages 1 and 4, in the stroller - along with the open containers and a "double-edged bayonet," the release said.

Police said both were highly intoxicated and a "long way" from their residence.

The 30-year-old woman and 52-year-old man, both from Ypsilanti Township, were taken into custody. The woman was taken to a local hospital to be checked out after she complained of abdominal pain, the release said. The children were turned over to a relative who lives nearby, the release said.

Just to recap: The kids are 1 and 4. The man and woman were "highly intoxicated." It was 1:30 a.m.! They were a "long way" from home. There was a "double-edged bayonet" in the stroller. There were open containers in the stroller. Oh, and the woman was trying to steal a bike. The charges?

It's unclear what charges may be filed in the case.

The Juice can think of a few ...

One might think the f-bomb has the power of an a-bomb, the way folks deal with it. Take the recent case of a judge in New York who was not pleased with the shirt an alternate juror was wearing. Per the New York Post:

The shirt in question, worn by 19-year-old alternate No. 3, Nneka Eneorj, as she sat in the front row of the jury box, caught the judge's eye just as the defendant was about to take the stand. "WHO THE F[UCK] IS KANYE WEST?" the shirt read, the offending obscenity resting just above the wood veneer rail of the jury box.

Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Thomas Farber ordered the other jurors out of the courtroom -- directing Eneorj to stand before his bench.

Uh-oh.

"Do you think it's appropriate to wear a shirt that says 'f---' on it in my courtroom?" the judge asked, anger in his voice.

Based on the reporting, The Juice is unclear. Did the judge say "f---" (How do you pronounce that anyway?) or "fuck"? If it was the latter, oh no you din't! Anyway ...

When Eneorj started to protest about having a sweater on -- not that it covered the front of the shirt -- the judge cut her off, demanding, "You're excused." "Sounds like a personal problem," she sniffed of the judge as she walked out of the courthouse, indignantly.

So she's already an alternate juror, and is not even given the opportunity to turn her shirt inside out? Oh, and here's some of the testimony from the case later that day:

Officer David London -- caught on surveillance tape delivering a violent, 20-blow baton beating to a prone suspect in an Upper West Side lobby two years ago -- let at least a dozen "F-bombs" fly as he recounted what suspect Walter Harvin was purportedly threatening as the blows fell. Among Harvin's shouts, London told the remaining jurors, were, "You can't take me," "I'm gonna f---ing kill you," and, it's derivation, "I'm gonna f---ing kill you motherf---er."

And here's Ms. Eneorj after leaving the courthouse:

"You will not believe what the f[uck] just happened!" she gabbed into her cell phone, as two news photographers snapped away on the sidewalk outside.

Here's the source, including a photo.

Maybe it wasn't a very judicial comment, but is it a firing offense? Apparently so. Here's what happened, as reported by the San Francisco Chronicle:

A retired San Joaquin County judge is about to lose his part-time job as a substitute jurist.

California Chief Justice Ron George is declining to renew Judge Peter Saiers' court assignments after July 2. A spokeswoman declined to give the reason, saying it's considered a personnel matter.

So what caused all the fuss?

The Stockton Record reported Friday that Saiers won't be put back on the bench because he used profane language to describe two robbery defendants appearing before him in a 2008 hearing. According to court documents cited by the newspaper, Saiers referred to the men as "lazy (expletive)."

Again with the expletive deleted! The world would end if the paper reported "lazy shits" or "lazy fucks"? I'm sure it's a "family newspaper." Please. Anyway, back to the [former] Judge ...

A state appellate court later ruled that Saiers didn't jeopardize the case, but it scolded him over the comment.

No matter. He got fired anyway, though he has asked the Chief Justice to reconsider. The Juice humbly requests, sir, that you reconsider.

Well, it depends. In this case, the offender had 2 previous drug offenses. He also had hidden over a pound of weed in a washing machine. But, and this was a big "but" for the Judge, the offender is a high-achieving environmental scientist, as reported by The Cairns Post (Australia). So, not only did Isha James Segboer, 34, get off with just 100 hours of community service ...

... Supreme Chief Justice Paul de Jersey took the unusual step of not recording a conviction, despite two previous drug offences, because he did not want to ruin the high-achieving environmental scientist’s career potential to help others.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] I almost forgot the "cake" defense.

Segboer’s lawyer Bebe Mellick said Segboer had been given the shopping bag of drugs by an associate and had intended to bake a cake out of it because of its poor quality, but had forgotten about it.

Huh? An interesting defense, to be sure. Here's the source.

How often do you think to yourself "I love work so much, I wish I never had to go home"? Me too. How about "Wow, I wish this day would end so I can go home"? Me too. Still, how far would you go to get off of work early? Would you, say, start a fire in your office? How about turning off the breaker for the entire office building? How about rigging the phones so that there would be no incoming calls? Sounds crazy, right? Check this out, as reported by the St. Petersburg Times:

Pasco sheriff's investigators said Michelle Perrino, 40, started a fire at Bayonet Point Oxygen on May 12, 2009. Perrino drew suspicion when she mentioned the fire's origin — a filing cabinet — during an employee meeting. Employees had not been told where the fire started.

Filing cabinet? No, I didn't say "filing cabinet." I said "hire a rabit." You know, rabbits are fast, and they're so cute ...

[The] Sheriff's reports also quoted Perrino's friend, who said she told him she also tripped the main breaker for the office building so it would lose power and adjusted the phones so no calls could come in, all so she would be sent home from work early with pay.

So what happened to Ms. Perrino?

[She] pleaded guilty Monday to criminal mischief and was sentenced to nine months in jail, followed by five years of probation. She must also pay $4,800 in restitution and have no contact with Bayonet Point Oxygen or its employees.

Works for The Juice.

Regular readers know that The Juice is not a big fan of Big Brother. Like-minded Juicegoers probably won't be too fond of this proposed ordinance now pending in Sullivan's Island, South Carolina:

Sec. 14-15G. Yelling, shouting, etc.

It shall be unlawful for any person to yell, shout, hoot, whistle, or sing on the public streets, particularly between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. or at any time or place so as to annoy or disturb the quiet, comfort, or repose of persons in any office, or in any dwelling, or other type of residence, or of any persons in the vicinity.

Really? You're actually considering passing this? No offense to whoever drafted this, but The Juice really hopes he/she/they did not go to law school because this absurd ordinance sets a new standard for vagueness. What a hoot! Good luck enforcing it! Here's a link to the proposed ordinance on the town's website.

Lots of people have a cup of coffee before work. Some weed before work? Not so many. Among those that do so indulge, at least on the day in question, is Mr. Brock Hopkins. Based on the title of the post, you can probably see where this is going. Dude gets high. Dude gets mauled by bear. Dude's employer blames the weed (and also says Dude was a "volunteer" not an employee.)(And yes, dude, The Juice did recently see "The Big Liebowski"). On that last bit, said Mr. Kilpatrick, the owner of Great Bear Adventures [or misadventures] Park, per the AP,

Kilpatrick and the co-defendant in the case, the Uninsured Employers' Fund, contended that Hopkins should not be eligible for workers' compensation for those injuries because he was a volunteer acting outside of his duties and was not a paid employee.

Kilpatrick acknowledged giving money to Hopkins but it was given randomly and "out of my heart," the owner told the court.

Interesting. So what did Judge James Jeremiah Shea of the Montana Workers' Compensation Court have to say about that?

Shea ruled that Hopkins was a regularly paid employee and Kilpatrick's claims were not credible.

"There is a term of art used to describe the regular exchange of money for favors -- it is called 'employment,'" the judge wrote.

Snap! What about the weed?

Hopkins acknowledged smoking marijuana before arriving at work that day, the judge said. Hopkins worked on the park's gate for about two hours, then prepared food for the bears.

Uh-oh.

After he stepped inside the bears' pen with a bucket of food, one of the grizzly bears attacked him. Hopkins fled, managing to escape by crawling under an electrified fence. He suffered severe injuries to his leg and had to be hospitalized, according to the court.

The weed! The weed! What about the weed?

"I cannot conclude based on the evidence before me that the major contributing cause of the grizzly bear attack was anything other than the grizzly," the judge wrote. "It is not as if this attack occurred when Hopkins inexplicably wandered into the grizzly pen while searching for the nearest White Castle. Hopkins was attacked while performing a job Kilpatrick had paid him to do -- feeding grizzly bears."

Bam! Eligible for workers' compensation. Next case!

Wow. Quite a compendium. These folks were caught (and some were busted for) having sex in all kinds of places. As reported by The Mirror, the places are ...

On a cop car

For some people having sex in public just isn’t daring enough and they must take it that extra mile by, for instance, having sex on a police car. But not just any old cop car, one that has bobbies in it.

A randy Dutch couple – known for their clogs and proclivity to fornicate in full view of emergency service personnel - decided the bonnet was the place to bonk and say they didn’t notice the two cops sitting in the car (eating donuts and watching, no doubt).

The police got out of their car and politely asked the couple to stop and go somewhere else, as the law doesn't specifically prohibit people from having sex on top of a cop car but does state that police officers need to be available for duty.

In church

Sometimes the Holy Spirit takes over in church and people leap to their feet to praise the Lord. A couple in Cesena, Italy, put a whole new spin on worship when they 'took communion' in the confessional booth during morning mass.

The police were called after members of the congregation heard ‘grunts and moans’. The couple – who were drunk – were cautioned for obscene acts and disturbing a religious function, which ‘religious function’ was disturbed we ask?

At school

That hotbed of hormones is a well known breeding ground for dangerous sexual liaisons but it’s not so controversial if two teachers get together on campus, unless they do it in front of a security camera.

That’s exactly what one stupid, married principal in North Carolina did. Not once, but many times with various women. He had the presence of mind to do it behind closed doors but neglected to turn off, or avoid, the security camera pointing directly at his desk. Video was later released forcing him and his co-stars to resign.

In a car park (parking garage)

A car park isn’t a particularly unusual place to find a copulating couple but this month two love cheats were exposed in Scotland when they “got carried away”. Gillian Stalker and John McDougall denied 'dogging' after having sex in a car and moving the romp outside into the car park at Irvine beach in Ayrshire.

Gillian Stalker, 40, said she was aware of another man watching them from his car but denied police claims that the area was busy with dog walkers and children and said neither she nor her lover would normally have sex in public.

The self-employed saleswoman told the court: "John and myself had engaged in some sexual activity in the car. "But as there was not much room, and also because it was a nice day, we decided to continue outside and in a public place."

She said she and McDougall did not take much notice of the man watching them "as we were getting a bit carried away, as you do in a situation like that".

In a bank

The French are well known for their sexual passion and one couple just couldn’t hold back when they found themselves alone in the bank.

The duo was caught by a group of teenagers armed with a mobile phone across the street. Be warned, the video is explicit, but the woman’s reaction when she realised she’s been sprung is priceless. She faints.

In the cockpit

In 1916, the first ever known case of sex on a plane resulted in a plane crash – probably because it was the pilot who was immersed in the action. Is this why it’s called the cockpit?

The National Transportation Safety Board has also attributed one fatal accident to a pilot being distracted by extra-curricular activities noting that she made an “improper in-flight decision to divert her attention to other activities not related to the conduct of the flight.”

Clear evidence that while joining the mile high club may be fun it’s not such a great idea if you’re in charge of keeping the plane up.

At work

One quite night in England a Polish contractor working late on a children’s hospital decided the stress of the day was just too much and he needed to relieve himself. There beneath him lay Henry, a vacuum cleaner with a great big cartoon smile on its face. Who could possibly resist?

A passing security guard saw the man in flagrante and asked him to clean himself, and the vacuum, up before leaving the premises.

On a crane

Have you ever looked at a crane and thought ‘Pwoar, I’d really like to get down on that’? Thought not. But Florida couple Justin Dunn and Nicole Albert climbed up on a crane in broad daylight to bump and grind.

The couple got off with just a warning, as Dunn's father owned the crane and it was private property. They were told to try to be more discrete in the future.

In jail

In Boston Legal lawyers are prone to frenzied expressions of affection on the law books so perhaps we should expect high jinks of a David E. Kelly kind in real life?

Prison tends to evoke unfortunate images best left untouched but nothing as outrageous as a Seattle public defender getting caught having sexual relations with a triple-murder defendant she was representing.

Train tracks

This September a couple in South Africa decided that having sex in the path of a fast-moving train was a good idea...

When the train pulled into the station and the conductor shouted out the window for the couple to move they decided to finish off rather than save their own lives.

So here's what Andrew Allen admitted stealing from a home in Blackpool, England, per the Blackpool Gazette:

"He stole a dustpan and brush, a cat basket, a trowel and lawn feeder, a basket with tools and a gardening glove."

Street value - £51 ($75 US)! Dude, why? In a nutshell: Methadone, sleeping pills, and alcohol.

How do you think this conversation will go? "So, what are you in for?" Uh, er, um ...

Really? All this for some cigarettes? Check this out from the Pocono Record:

Two males backed a pickup truck through the front glass door of the Tobacco Road store on Route 209 in Middle Smithfield Township at 3:38 a.m. Monday, police said.

And then they took a bunch of cigarettes? Not exactly.

The males then exited the vehicle and tried to break in, but couldn’t.

Damn. Where are we going to find another closed store with a window and cigarettes at 3:40 in the morning?

They fled the scene in the vehicle and, 12 minutes later, drove the same vehicle into the front entrance of Beer Nuts in Jay Park Plaza on Route 209 in Smithfield Township. They entered that store, took cartons of cigarettes and fled the scene.

Mission accomplished. The men are still at large, no doubt puffing away.

No doubt regular readers know that The Juice is a hardcore free speech advocate. That said, surely most folks would agree that Pembroke Pines Principal Peter [damn you for not having a last name beginning with "P" !] Bayer grossly overreacted? As reported by CBS4:

On Friday, November 9th, 2007, then high school senior Katherine Evans posted a picture of her Advanced Placement English teacher, Sarah Phelps, on her page and called her "the worst teacher I've ever met."

Ms. Sarah Phelps is the worst teacher I've ever met! To those select students who have had the displeasure of having Ms. Phelps, or simply knowing her and her insane antics: Here is the place to express your feelings of anger.

Evans created the posting after school hours and on her computer at home.

Principal Bayer suspended Ms. Evans for 3 days and "forced her into lesser honors classes." The actual "charges?"

At the time, Bayer said Evan's actions constituted "Bullying/Cyber Bullying Harassment towards a staff member" and "Disruptive Behavior."

My response? WTF? NFW! Ms. Evans' response? The ACLU filed suit on her behalf, stating that the posting ....

... was "protected off campus speech" and it didn't contain any threats of violence, did not disrupt any school activities and "gave rise to a spirited exchange of opinions by students who disagreed with Evans, who ultimately proved her wrong in her assessment of the teacher."

So what does she want? " ... that the three day suspension be revoked and removed from Evan's permanent record." Nevermind "the force." May The Juice be with her.

Yes, of course grandparents spoil their grandchildren. Maybe a little candy from grandma, or some new clothes. But how about this: 54-year-old Brenda Bouschet was arrested after driving around a Marathon, Florida supermarket parking lot with her 3-year-old granddaughter sitting on the roof! Not to worry, said Ms. Bouschet. Per the AP, "she was driving at "snail-speed" and holding the child's leg." And besides, she was just doing it to give the child some air and let her have some fun. Doesn't everyone do this sort of thing? Uh, no. Ms. Bouschet is looking at child abuse charges.

What was this young man thinking? I'm feeling depressed, so I'll throw a dog at a motorcycle gang? Here's the story, as reported by Reuters:

A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell's Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.

German police said on Monday that after making his getaway from the Hell's Angels club, the 26-year-old dumped the bulldozer, causing a 5 km (3 miles) traffic jam near the southern town of Allershausen, local police said. He then fled to his home nearby where he was apprehended by the police.

"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear," said a spokesman for local police, adding that the student had lately been suffering from depression.

The puppy was now in safe hands, the spokesman added.

A clever theft job in which nobody is hurt is much easier to swallow than, well, a crime like this one out of Australia. Per The Courier-Mail:

About 2am, the offenders kicked in the windows of the Coffee Club in the Home Centre on Springwood and dragged a hefty safe out of the store. Police believe they used ropes to hook the safe up to their vehicle and then drove off, dragging the safe behind them.

So inconspicuous. Brilliant!

But the plans came unstuck when the car performed a u-turn and the safe ``flicked'' into a culvert.

Despite attempting to hide it with cardboard and some old tyre, a passer-by noticed the safe [essentially intact] before the baddies could return and reported it to police.

These guys are good. Incredibly, they have not yet been caught. Who thinks that day won't be far off? [The Juice has his hand raised.]

Detectives will examine CCTV footage today in the hope of identifying the culprits.

CCTV!

It was not a good night for employees at a Kalamazoo, Michigan Wendy's. Why? A drive-thru order turned into a melee - outside of, and inside, the restaurant. As reported by The Kalamazoo Gazette:

Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety officers said they were called to the restaurant at 2814 Portage St. at about 12:17 a.m. Saturday to quell a large fight.

Upon arrival, officers encountered a loud disturbance between unsatisfied customers and frustrated employees inside the business, according to a police news release.

Remember, these were drive-thru customers.

During their investigation, officers were told the incident started outside when four customers in a vehicle, voiced their displeasure with an employee at the drive-up window.

According to the news release, customers said there was a discrepancy between the food that was ordered and that what they received. Wendy’s workers said it was simply a communication breakdown that could have been easily fixed.

But it wasn't ...

... officers said they were told that as tempers flared, fountain beverages, hamburgers and fries were all hurled through the drive-up window and the food struck an employee inside.

Well, the customer's always right, right?

The employee allegedly then threw food items back out at the vehicle, striking it with carbonated soda, ketchup and fries.

Oh no you di'int.

Officers said two of the vehicle occupants went into the restaurant and began fighting with employees . Punches and chairs were thrown.

Wo. And?

Two of the customers, Kalamazoo residents, were arrested on charges of assault and excessive noise. The employee received minor scrapes and abrasions during the melee.

Shazam!

All of this over a wire bra, and the jail's dress code. As reported by The Miami Herald:

Attorney Brittney Horstman was not packing heat. She was wearing an underwire bra.

So what's the problem?

And when the metal detector went off on a visit to the Miami Federal Detention Center, guards wouldn't let Horstman in to see her client.

Really?

The attorney reminded guards of a detention center ``memo'' allowing female attorneys wearing an underwire bra to enter. But the guards would not relent.

Memo? I didn't see any memo. You see any memo? Sorry.

Horstman stepped into a bathroom and removed her bra. In blouse and jacket, she returned, and cleared the walk-through detector.

It's all good, right? Nope.

Again, guards refused to let her pass -- now, because she was braless, which is against prison dress code guidelines.

Oh, so they don't read the memos, but the guards know the dress quote? You can read more (a lot) by clicking here.

Yup, the kid was busted for farting in school, and otherwise "disrupting" his class. From TheLedger.com, here's the story:

A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities say he was "passing gas" and turned off his classmates' computers.

According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.

The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School student was arrested Nov. 4. A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother.

To read a totally unrelated school flatulence story, click here. And for a few other flatulence stories (relating to the law, of course), click here and here.

One can imagine the would-be abductors talking beforehand: "Hey, how about that kid?" "Sure, why not?" Here's why not: Not only was he on his way home boxing training, but the kid is "the two-time Australian junior champion and two-time Queensland champion." As reported in The Cairns Post:

It seemed innocent enough - three people in a mini-van asking for directions at a well-lit intersection at 8pm on Wednesday in the quiet rural community of Yungaburra.

"It seems so innocent," 15-year-old Jackson said yesterday. "They stopped and asked for directions and I walked up to the campervan to help. The sliding door opened fast and I spun around to see what was happening.

Here it comes ...

"Then this bloke grabbed me by the collar and tried to drag me into the van. He was really trying to drag me in but I pulled back with all my weight and then I hit him in the left ear."

Bam!

It only took one punch from the two-time Australian junior champion and two-time Queensland champion to send the alleged abductors fleeing up Maple St from the scene.

Nice. Here's the source, including a photo of the pugilist.

Although countless acres of pot are growing throughout the world, it is unlikely many of them are in the garden of a convent. There is (or was) one such acre in the garden of a convent in Uganda, as reported by the BBC:

A regional police chief told the BBC that plants covering one acre had been found and uprooted in the southern Masaka district. Two nuns and two porters have been questioned.

One of the nuns has been quoted by local media as saying the marijuana was used to treat farm animals, such as pigs.

Really? Did she say that with a straight face? Was it before or after she asked if anyone had any food because she was really, really hungry?

Southern regional commander Emmanuel Muhuirwe told the BBC News website that only the porters had been arrested - not the nuns.

He said the nuns had been questioned because the garden was part of the convent. But he said no-one had been charged yet and the porters have been released on bail.

Here's the source.

How can you be guaranteed that you'll catch the thief who stole your car? Easy. Report it stolen, then get caught driving it. Really. Per The Rome (Georgia) News-Tribune:

Ryan Lance Roland, 24, of 2005 Dean Ave., Room 315, told police that someone came to his room while he was at the store and that his 2001 Acura Integra was stolen.

After placing a lookout for the car, police found Roland driving it three hours later on Maple Street. Roland took an alcohol sensor test and was found to be over the legal limit.

Roland is charged with false report of a crime and DUI. He was released on $2,700 bond Sunday.

Doh!

How could a 55-year-old man get arrested for playing on a trampoline? Here's how, as reported by stv.tv.

As [his neighbor] looked out of her window, she saw James Burden stark naked with a cigarette in one hand and his genitals in the other. Falkirk Sheriff Court heard the gobsmacked victim told police that 55-year-old Burden was "as bold as brass ...and purposeful".

"gobsmacked" ... nice

Mike McMahon, prosecuting, said that the woman, who lives in a block of four flats in Falkirk’s Westquarter, had got up to go to her bathroom as 5.14am on March 25 this year.

As she passed her kitchen window, she saw Burden - her upstairs neighbour - in the back garden. She then saw Burden approach the back door of the block of flats.

The woman rushed into her living room and called police. Mr McMahon said: "He told police he had gone out to the trampoline and had masturbated himself there."

Zoinks! If you're wondering "why?" ...

... Burden told officers: "Just for the thrill of it." He added: "I did not intend anyone to see me."

Burden, of Yew Terrace, Westquarter, pled guilty to publicly exposing his person in a shameless and indecent manner, and approaching his neighbour's house and placing the occupant in a state of fear and alarm.

The time?

Sheriff Craig Caldwell deferred sentence until next month for reports.

There's probably not a lot of precedent for this particular crime.

It's so easy to say - "just keep your eyes on the road." Some distractions are not that easy to ignore. Such was the case on I-95 in Connecticut, as reported by The Online Hour (Norwalk) Connecticut).

A naked man "yelling that he was Jesus" was the catalyst for a five-vehicle accident on I-95 Northbound near exit 16 early Saturday morning that injured three people, mangled a tandem tractor-trailer truck and slowed traffic to a crawl for nearly six hours, according to Darien Police Sgt. Jeremiah P. Marron Jr.

Marron said Darien Police responded to a call regarding a nude male causing a disturbance on I-95 north at exit 14. When police arrived, they saw the man hop into a silver car. With assistance from Norwalk and State Police, Darien officers were able to pull the car over near exit 16.

Now that would be an interesting court proceeding!

The landscape is littered with men who have gone to great lengths to entice women to have sex. But this may be a new low. As reported by The Arab Times:

Police have arrested a Kuwaiti man for cheating an unidentified young woman, reports Al-Anba daily.


According to reports the man wanted to have ‘fun’ with the woman and he to fulfill his wish said he wants to marry her.
He then allegedly took her to a marriage officer in Ahmadi and married her in front of a marriage officer.

However, a few days later when the girl asked to see the marriage contract, she was shocked when she discovered the marriage officer was a fake person. 
Police are looking for the marriage officer.

Leaves one to wonder when he was going to tell her ...

By now just about everyone has heard of a few stupid homeowner's association rules. But check this one out. Jim Greenwood lives in a suburb of Dallas, Texas called Frisco. More specifically, he lives in - hold your nose up, and speak nasally - Stonebriar Village. Now with his son just turning 16, old Mr. Greenwood wanted to get him a safe ride. So he dropped about $30,000 on a nicely appointed 2007 Ford F-150.

Now, if you're thinking that the Stonebriar Village Homeowner's Association does not allow trucks to be parked in driveways.... You would be ... wrong! They just don't allow FORD trucks [to be parked overnight, that is, in a driveway]. If Mr. Greenwood had dropped the extra coin for a Lincoln Mark LT, that would not violate the rules. What's the difference? According to Mr. Greenwood, not much.

"It happens to come off the same assembly line in Dearborn, Mich., as the Ford F-150."

What is the penalty for this high crime? $50 each night he's cited for leaving the truck in the driveway overnight. It's Texas, so you can probably guess what Mr. Greenwood decided to do.

"We're doing the right thing now. We're parking it in the garage."

Yeah, that wasn't my guess either. I'm with Austin American-Statesman writer John Kelso:

I wouldn't call that doing the right thing. Greenwood should stick it to these snoots. After all, this is Texas. If you can't park a new pickup in your driveway in the Lone Star State, what's next? A ban on high school football, deer season and chicken-fried steak?

I can already tell that even The Juice's loyal readers are raising their eyebrows. Rest assured, though, breasts may be bared in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. True, they are the breasts of transgender males, but tell that to the folks who complained to lifeguards about the "females showing their breasts." As reported by Delaware Online:

Rehoboth Beach and the local Internet have been buzzing for days after a few transgendered men caused a stir on the beach over the holiday weekend by removing their tops and revealing their enhanced breasts.

"Passers-by came up to the lifeguard and said they were alarmed and unhappy with the females showing their breasts," Police Chief Keith Banks said. "The lifeguard responded and saw that they were males."

Banks said police were called because the men originally refused to put their tops back on, but had consented before police arrived. Officers made sure the situation was under control, and no citations were issued.

Turns out they couldn't have issued citations.

... Rehoboth law defines indecent exposure two ways:

"A male is guilty of indecent exposure if he exposes his genitals or buttocks under circumstances which he knows his conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm to another person.

A female is guilty of indecent exposure if she exposes her genitals, breasts or buttocks under circumstances which she knows her conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm to another person."

So ...

"It is important to say that under Rehoboth law this was not against the law," Banks said. "In this case, they had male genitalia; therefore, they are not guilty of a crime."

To read more (a fair amount), click here.

It's one thing for a boss to be a jerk to an employee. There are only so many Michael Scotts out there ... One must draw the line, though, at beating an employee. Local prosecutors have drawn that line in the case of Vladimir Khapalov, the mayor of the Russian town of Shakhtyorsk. As reported by Reuters:

The woman was on the night watch at the administration building ... when [the] mayor showed up after midnight one night last November, Interfax said.

Citing local prosecutors, it said Khapalov struck her with the door when she opened it, and hit her two more times.

Done? Nope.

He then kicked her in the hip area after accusing her of sleeping on the job and demanding she resign, Interfax said.

At one point the woman fell and hit her head on a radiator, the report said. She suffered scrapes, bruises and concussion. Interfax said the woman was hospitalized for 20 days afterwards.

Shazam! What happened to the mayor?

Khapalov has now been suspended and faces a criminal charge of violent abuse of authority.

In Readington Township, New Jersey, a 59-year-old man actually went to his 88-year-old mom's senior center residence - apparently drunk - and got into it with her. So what did she do? She put the hurt on him! Per the Hunterdon County Democrat:

An incident between a mother and her son brought police to the Mirota Senior Residence on Van Horn Road on Friday. Police were called around 8:30 a.m.; they gave the following account of the incident.

An 88-year-old woman and her 59-year-old son got into an argument and then the mother assaulted the son, causing visible injuries to his face. The son appeared to be intoxicated and was being loud and disturbing other residents at the complex.

The son was arrested for harassment and disorderly conduct and was released after being detained for several hours.

The mother was also arrested and charged with simple assault. She was released after being served with a summons.

Both were offered various forms of assistance provided by the county, but they both declined.

Who needs assistance? Everything is totally under control ...

Drunk people often do really stupid things, as illustrated by the acts of a gentleman in New Port Richey, Florida. Per the St. Petersburg Times:

A man was arrested Friday after deputies said he called 911 multiple times to complain his mother took his beer away.

BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! SHE TOOK HIS BEER!

Charles Dennison, 32, who was "very intoxicated," told a deputy who went to their home at 1739 Dennison Road that he wanted his mother arrested for taking his beer, according to a Pasco County Sheriff's Office arrest report. If she wasn't charged, he said, he would continue to call 911.

A deputy charged him with making false 911 calls and took him to the jail in Land O'Lakes, where he remained Monday morning. His bail is $150.

Perhaps it's time to find an apartment? A group house?

(Hang in there. It gets funny at 46 seconds.)

It would be harder to make this stuff up than to tell you about it. Yes, Mr. Imran Khan, or Bristol, England, filed a claim against his employer for offering wine as an incentive. Mr. Khan, a Muslim, claimed that he was a victim of racial and religious discrimination because Muslims may not drink alcohol. He asked for damages for "hurt feelings" before the employment tribunal. The result? A unanimous raspberry. Said Chairman Clive Toomer:

A teetotal non-Muslim would have been in precisely the same position as the claimant. In those circumstances it did not seem to us that the claimant could show that there was, in fact, less favourable treatment than would have been afforded to such a hypothetical comparator.

Indeed. You can read more, but not much, here.