Legal Juice

Remember the post the other day about the doctor who got a one week suspension for having a sexual relationship with a patient? Well, Dr. Mark Blaylock got a one month suspension for ... putting a picture of a government official in the trash! For real. Dr. Blaylock is the chief medical officer at the Manguzi Hospital in South Africa. It would appear that health MEC [Member of the Executive Council] Peggy Nkonyeni took great offense at this most heinous crime. So who will really suffer as a result of Dr. Blaylock's suspension? Per allAfrica.com:

Ironically, Blaylock will make more money working as a locum doctor in the private sector during this month's suspension than he does as a senior doctor at the rural hospital.

A hospital source who asked not to be named said that, ultimately patients would suffer most as the hospital was short-staffed and Blaylock's skilled would be greatly missed.

They sure showed him.

At least, don't fall asleep in Melissa Nadeau's class. Why not? Just ask Vinicios Robacher, a 15-year-old student in Danbury, Connecticut. When Vinicios crashed, Ms. Nadeau allegedly awoke him by slamming [the palm of] her hand down on his desk so hard that it injured his left eardrum! The boy's parents have filed papers with the Danbury town clerk, as the AP reported, which is "a prelude to a lawsuit." Here's the source.

So this young lady (19 years old) in Georgia was busted for passing a stopped school bus. She claims she didn't see it because her view was blocked by 2 trucks. The judge didn't buy it, and, per the Atlanta Journal Constitution, sentenced her to ...

..write 2,500 times, “I will not dishonor myself by passing a school bus.”

Nancy Nguyen was ordered to write that sentence and pay a $350 fine, perform community service and take a defensive driving course for passing a stopped school bus in Forest Park in March.

So what's the problem? She won't write the sentence.

Nguyen refused to write the sentences because, she said, she didn’t intentionally pass the stopped bus; two tractor-trailer trucks blocked her view, she said. She said she would go to jail rather than write the sentences because she did not feel she had dishonored herself.

"I'm not going to demean myself and be demeaned by other people," Nguyen told WSB-TV last week.

The Juice is without sufficient information to comment on the merits of her decision. This much is clear, though - she's got guts.

(Prepare to hit "pause" if you want to read these.)

Times are tough. Some folks can't even pay their electric bill. Reuters reports the case of man who went about getting his juice in an unusual and very dangerous way.

The 36-year old man from Sibbesse in Lower Saxony concocted the plan to steal electricity after the power company cut him off for failure to pay his bills, police said.

How did he steal the juice?

The man attached a cable to the meat hook and tossed it onto an overhead power line. He then drew power from the transmission line to his home, located about 150 meters away.

Yikes.

"I've never seen anything like this in my 34-year-career," said Friedrich-Wilhelm Lach, chief executive of regional utility Ueberlandwerke Leinetal GmbH, told Reuters. "It's incredibly dangerous and utterly stupid."

Man goes to Presque Isle Downs & Casino in Pennsylvania. Man plays slots. Man wins $2,001 jackpot. Man can't keep the jackpot? Nope. And here's why, per the Erie Times News:

The man, 55, had banned himself from the state's casinos under a Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board self-help program.

What does this mean?

Not only does he forfeit his winnings, but he will be facing a summary criminal trespass charge.

Injury, meet insult. (adding insult to injury ...)

The gaming board, which regulates the state's casino industry, offers the self-exclusion program for people who know they need help. Those who sign up decide whether they want to ban themselves for one or five years, or for life.

The Waterford man gambled at the casino Friday, between 10 a.m. and noon, police said. He had signed up for the self-exclusion program in April 2009, police said.

It's a popular program.

The man is one of 1,351 people across the state, including others from the Erie area, who are currently enrolled in the PGCB's self-exclusion program. The total number has grown steadily each year, from 185 at the end of 2007.

How about having the winnings go to a charity? It seems to be a win-win situation for the casinos. They get the money, and don't have to pay the jackpot. Or ... do they? The Juice has learned that the money goes to a compulsive and problem gambler treatment fund.

When some folks are ready for supper, there's just no telling what they'll do if it's not ready. What this fella allegedly did will make it very difficult for his wife to prepare dinner for him, at least in the near future. From the Charleston (West Virginia) Daily Mail:

A Sissonville man who was upset that dinner wasn't ready set fire to his home Sunday, according to the Kanawha County Sheriff's Department.

Deputy A.J. Miller responded to 19452 Derrick's Creek Road just before midnight after Beverly Jones called to report that her husband, Guy, 60, had started the fire.

Jones said her husband returned home after drinking and was upset because she didn't have dinner on the table. After an argument, Jones fled to a neighbor's home. She told deputies she saw flames coming from the basement and her husband exiting the basement door.

Miller said the home was engulfed in flames when he arrived. Jones was arrested and charged with first-degree arson. He was taken to South Central Regional Jail.

Zoinks!

Sadly, this is not The Juice's first report on crimes of this ilk. Click here for a recent story, and here for another. The most recent report comes from news.scotsman.com.

A pensioner has been sent to prison for having sex with a horse and a donkey.

Joseph Squires was sentenced to a total of 22 months, a Leicester Crown Court official confirmed today.

He previously pleaded guilty to buggery of a donkey between February 2 and February 5 1999, and buggery with a horse between March 15 and 18 2004.

Squires, whose address was previously given as Overpark Avenue, Leicester, also admitted charges of damaging property – relating to the two animals on the same dates.

Yikes.

Think about this story next time you kiss your girlfriend/boyfriend in public. From the Arab Times:

Police arrested a Kuwaiti youth and his compatriot girlfriend [in Kuwait City] for consuming alcohol and behaving indecently while swimming opposite Al-Sha’ab Al-Bahari, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. 
Police rushed to the site after receiving information that a girl and her boyfriend were kissing while swimming together. The girl was reportedly wearing a bikini and police smelt alcohol in their breath.

Ojai, California's loss is Ashland, Oregon's gain? Ms. Jennifer Moss, as reported by The Oregonian ...

...often pedaled a bicycle around Ojai in a hemp G-string and flower-shaped pasties to promote Earth-friendliness.

Live and let live, right?

Her most recent misdemeanor arrest was for removing everything but her G-string and pasties in front of parishioners leaving an Easter Sunday Mass outside a Catholic church in Ojai. Stunned parishioners thought she was naked, police said.

So that's why she left? Not really.

"Police attention was part of the reason I left ...But the number one reason I left Ojai is they are not conscious enough about the air, the soil and the water. Either you get it or you don't."

How are things working out in Ashland?

Moss said she confirmed with police that Ashland's laws do not prohibit public nudity. She celebrated by stripping off all of her clothes and doing a headstand right outside the police station. Then she rode her bike naked through the center of Ashland.

Here's the source.

If you believe your soul needs saving, how would you go about doing it? Probably not the way Shafiq Mohamed did. As reported by www.wafb.com:

A man was arrested early Thursday morning after police responded to a complaint and found him walking down the street completely naked.

According to the Thibodaux [Louisiana] Police Department, Shafiq Mohamed was charged with obscenity after they saw him walking in the 2200 block of Audubon Avenue without any clothes on just before 2 a.m.

Officers said Mohamed told them ... "God told him to walk the streets naked to save his soul."

Here's the source, including a photo.

Can you just imagine how much money a college could take in if it could collect $25 from students for public cursing (and $50 for a second offense)? My guess is ... a lot. And yes, there really is a college that has such a policy on the books. That school is Hinds Community College in Mississippi. The fines can be doled out for "public profanity, cursing and vulgarity" as reported at www.insidehighered.com. Here's the skinny on the alleged f-bomber:

And the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education has taken up the case of a student who faced charges following an incident in which -- after class, but in the presence of an instructor -- he said that a grade he had just received was "going to fuck up my entire G.P.A." The instructor first threatened to place the student in detention and when the student pointed out (correctly) that the college doesn't have detention, the "flagrant disrespect" charges were made.

Detention? Hilarious. Why not a "time out" for the young man? Regular Juice readers know that this policy is going down. See, there's this document out there called the Constitution (note to school: See Amendment 1). You can read more - a lot - here.

Yes sir. These streakers were in for a real surprise when they ran into a police officer while streaking through a neighborhood in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. And they got what was coming to them, which was ... nothing! As it should have been with this truly victimless crime. Per The Union Leader:

In a scene reminiscent of Will Ferrell's run through the neighborhood au naturel in the movie "Old School," a Greenland police officer working a construction detail on Bartlett Street early Monday morning got a surprise when a naked woman ran by him.

Portsmouth police responded around 3:30 a.m., and found a man also out and about without any clothes on. The pair said they were playing strip poker with friends and, as part of losing, had to run around the block in the buff.

When police brought the two back to retrieve their clothes, they found two other people in various stages of undress. The streakers got off with a warning.

Sanity! Here's the source.

Keep in mind that this is the same town, Kure Beach, North Carolina, that outlawed thong bathing suits. Anyway, way back when (way pre-thong), someone must have been playing the piccolo really loud. Why would the Juice hazard this guess? This is from the Kure Beach nuisance laws:

Sec. 11-31. Certain noises prohibited.

(a) The creation and continuation of any loud, disturbing and unnecessary noises in the town is hereby prohibited...

(b) The following acts, among others, are declared to be loud, disturbing, annoying and unnecessary noises in violation of this section ...

(2) Radios, phonographs, etc. The playing of any radio, phonograph, piccolo or any musical instrument in such manner or with such volume as to annoy or disturb any person, or disturb the quiet, comfort or repose of any person in any dwelling, hotel or other residence. (emphasis added)

Picking on the piccolo? Not cool. Here's the source. (Click on Chapter 11, then Article III.)

Here's a very good example, per WTHR.com:

It was a day that kept getting worse for a Terre Haute man who put his car in a ditch and then tried to get it out with a "borrowed" tractor.

When officers arrived, they discovered a large farm tractor and car in a ditch, apparently after falling from the bridge. The driver of the tractor had fled the scene.

Yeah, no chance the police would figure out it was him, what with his car being in the ditch ...

Troopers got a tip that the driver was hiding at a nearby farm house on Rio Grande Road. Officers went to the residence and took the driver into custody without incident.

Damn you tipster!

The driver was identified as Kevin Michael Whitesell, age 31, of Terre Haute, IN. Whitesell was taken to the Vigo County Jail. He faces charges of Driving While Intoxicated, Class A misdemeanor; and Leaving the Scene of a Property Damage Crash, Class C misdemeanor. Additional charges may be filed.

The blow-by-blow:

Police say at around 5:00 am, Whitesell crashed his 2000 Chevrolet Cavalier on Bluejay Road just west of Eppert Road. He then walked to a farm house on Rio Grande Road, approximately two miles from the scene, and obtained a 1998 John Deere 9100 Series four-wheel driver tractor.

So after walking 2 miles, it still didn't dawn on him that this was a bad idea.

Whitesell then drove back to his car on Bluejay, hooked the overturned car to the tractor and began dragging the car (on its top) eastbound on Bluejay.

As Whitesell attempted to make a right turn onto Eppert, he lost control and drove the tractor over the west side of the bridge, dragging the car with it. The tractor was owned by Plant Farms and the owner of the car was Whitesell. Police say Whitesell was an employee of Plant Farms, but he took the tractor without his employer knowing about it.

Damn you Eppert Road!

Damage to the bridge was estimated at $10,000 to $20,000 and the tractor was valued at $150,000.

Zoinks! Here's the source, with multiple photographs of the scene.

Okay, so maybe that's not exactly the defense employed, but it's damn close. As reported in The South Asian Post:

An Indian man escaped a possible death sentence for drug trafficking after his lawyer told a court it was impossible to walk with a stash of heroin in his underpants.Mumbai police alleged Dhirendra Kamdar was carrying two kilograms of the drug in four, 500-gram packets in his underwear when they picked him up as he walked from a guest house to get a taxi to the city's airport. But when the case came to trial, Kamdar's lawyer Ayaz Khan said it was impossible for anyone to walk one kilometre with such an amount of drugs concealed in his smalls, the Daily News and Analysis newspaper said.Khan demonstrated his theory to the judge using four identically-sized bags filled with sugar, and was acquitted of the charge on lack of evidence.

500 grams equals about 1.1 pounds. So the total was almost 4.5 pounds. That would definitely alter your gait.

Certainly regular readers know the Juice is not a fan of dress codes. Check this out, from Georgia's Thomson-McDuffie Junior High School website:

In order to foster a climate conducive to [blah, blah, blah] ... the following guidelines have been developed with input from councils, faculty, administration, and students.

... sunglasses are not to be worn on campus. ... No grills are to be worn.

No shades or grills? That's cold.

Proper and acceptable undergarments must be worn and must not be visible to others. Cleavage must not show.

How will the school know if the undergarments are "proper and acceptable" if you can't see them! Brilliant!

Shoes or sandals must be worn. ... and athletic sandals are not allowed at school.

No "athletic sandals?" Say what?

Shirts or blouses must have sleeves; shirts and blouses must be tucked in. ... Belt line must be visible at all times. Any shirts or blouses that cannot be tucked in may not be worn.

NFW. You have to tuck your shirts and blouses in! Please, transfer me!

Shorts/pants must be long enough to touch the top of the kneecap. Shorts/pants must be fitted at the waist and not be baggy or frayed at the bottom.

Really? The kneecap?

All students must wear identification badges properly at all times.

Is it me, or is this starting to sound like a detention facility?

Personal grooming should be done at home, not at school.

I can't brush or comb my hair?

The principal of the school has a right to prohibit any item of clothing he deems to be inappropriate.

Wow. That is just laughably unenforceable.

Now that you know the crimes, the times ...

Penalty for failure to comply with dress code: First offense - correction (if possible) or ISS and 3 hours detention. Second offense - correction (if possible) and one (1) day of Saturday School. Third offense - three (3) days ISS and required parent conference. A Fourth offense is considered Defiance and will result in three (3) days suspension minimum.

Here's the school's website.

At least that's how Gaylon Linn Murphy drew it up. As reported by The LA Times:

Murphy, 52, apologized for his actions, which began when he tore a hole in his Gucci jeans during a visit to a Home Depot store. He then attempted to claim the retail price of the jeans, valued at between $500 and $1,500, from both the building supply store and a local restaurant where he had dined. The double-dipping attempt was uncovered by an Irvine detective.

Never double dip. The sentence? Mr. Murphy received three years of unsupervised probation and 30 days of community service. What did he have to say for himself?

"It was wrong. It wasn't intentional, but it happened, and I paid for it." Not intentional?!

What what what? Here's the Times article. (The static in the clip below disappears after 10 seconds.)

v

Okay, so The Juice is overstating it a little bit. Sanchez Brumfield was charged with killing a man in Louisiana. He's being tried for first-degree murder. While in a holding cell in the courthouse basement, he was seen masturbating by the deputies who were monitoring him by camera. How is this relevant in the murder case? It's not, but the prosecutor argued that, if Brumfield is convicted, the jury should consider it in deciding whether to give him life in jail, or the death penalty. What what what? What possible relevance could masturbating have in the life or death decision? Here's what prosecutor Aaron Brooks said, per The Advocate and WBRZ News 2:

“He will make a lousy prisoner if he’s given a life-sentence,” Brooks said. “And this stunt proves that.”

Huh? What do you do with that kind of reasoning? Just what the judge did - he rejected it. Here's the source.

Must have been "f-bomb the lawyer day." Mr. Aaron Wider is the owner and CEO of HTFC Corp. In a lawsuit brought by GMAC Bank against HTFC, Mr. Bodzin (GMAC's attorney) was attempting to take Mr. Wider's deposition. To say Mr. Wider was uncooperative would be an incredible understatement. Here are a few excerpts from the deposition:

Q. [By Atty. Bodzin] This is your loan file, what do Mr. and Mrs. Fitzgerald do for a living?
A. [By Mr. Wider] I don’t know. Open it up and find it.
Q. Look at your loan file and tell me.
A. Open it up and find it. I’m not your fucking bitch.
Q. Take a look at your loan application.
A. Do it yourself. Do it yourself. You want to do this in front of a judge. Would you prefer to
[do] this in front of a judge? Then, shut thefuck up.
Q. Sir, take a look--
A. I’m taking a break. Fuck him. You open up the document. You want me to look at something, you get the document out. Earn your fucking money asshole. Isn’t the law wonderful. Better get used to it. You’ll retire when I’m done.

Q. ... We’re going to adjourn this deposition if this happens again because you are offending every single person.
A. Don’t speak for anybody in here except yourself fuck face.
Q. I’m speaking for myself and I’m speaking for the Court Reporter.
A. If she had a problem with me she would say something. She knows it’s [not] directed toward
her. It’s directed to you because you’re a piece of shit and a piece of garbage and I’m the only
person in your life that is fucking up your world and I enjoy it. I enjoy it and when you sit there
and say I’m perpetrating a fraud I’m just better at the law than you are and you can’t get in the
fucking door and it’s pissing you off. Keep trying.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] Just how bad was the rest of the deposition? Per the court:

The above [which includes one more excerpt] are only a few examples of Wider’s hostile, uncivil, and vulgar conduct, which persisted throughout the nearly 12 hours of deposition testimony. In fact, Wider used the word “fuck” and variants thereof no less than 73 times. To put this in perspective--in this commercial case, where GMAC’s claim is for breach of contract and HTFC’s counterclaim is for tortious interference with contract--the word “contract” and variants thereof were used only 14 times.

So what did the court do with this? Click below to find out.

Continue reading "Hellish Deposition - Witness Repeatedly F-Bombs Questioning Attorney" »

Lots of folks take their gaming seriously. But this? From the Colorado Springs Police Blotter:

May 6, 2010, Time: 5:04:00 PM, Title: Assault

Officers were dispatched to Astrozon and Powers for a disturbance with a bat and a gun. When Officer Paladino arrived on scene the suspect, James Williams, ran at his cruiser and jumped on the hood.

Hello Officer!

When [Williams] jumped off he was tased by Officer Paladino.

Hello Mr. Williams.

The investigation showed Williams had gone after several people in the mobile home park with a bat, bit his mother on the ankle, intentionally rammed several cars, hit a pedestrian and a tree. He was followed from the scene by victims and confronted at Astrozon and Powers. Williams got out of his car and using a BB gun broke out the rear window of a vehicle.

Dude was busy. What about the Wii?

The disturbance started over a Wii game.

Doh!

No, you did not win some strange lottery [which you never entered, so exactly why would you believe you won it?]. There is no Nigerian bank or company involved. All you have to do is contact a certain Florida medical supply company and claim the package they received. Of course, there will be certain consequences ... Per the Orlando Sentinel:

Winter Park police are trying to find whoever mailed a package of marijuana to a medical-supply company.

Someone at the company, which police did not name, called police Wednesday to say the package had arrived unexpectedly. Detectives found about 70 pounds of pot with a street value of $200,000 inside, they said.

Anyone with information about the sender can call Crimeline at 407-423-8477 or police at 407-644-1313

You thought there wasn't a catch? Here's the source.

Some fetishes I get, and some I don't. I don't get this one. As reported in The Courier Mail:

After a night out at a pub in Boggabri, in northern NSW [New South Wales, Australia], a group of people went to a private home on March 27.

So far, so good.

"Police will allege that a man went to the home's bathroom and set up his mobile phone to record people going to the toilet," police said in a statement.

"

Uh oh.

About 1am a 29-year-old woman went to the bathroom to use the toilet and discovered the phone.

"The woman viewed the recording, seized the phone and left the gathering." Dude probably forgot to turn the ringer off.


Police were alerted to the matter and yesterday arrested a 36-year-old man at the property.

 He has been charged with filming a person in private without consent and is due to face Narrabri Local Court on May 25.

Not cool.

Say you're divorced, and your ex-wife calls to tell you one of your kids is being held for ransom. I think most folks would pay up. Just suppose, though, that your ex-wife called to say that one of your children was again taken hostage, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again! For real. This woman told her ex-husband that one of their kids (sometimes their son, sometimes their daughter) had been kidnapped SEVEN TIMES over a five-year period! And you know how many times he paid? Six! For a total of £530,000 ($808,000 US!). As reported by The Telegraph:

In the summer of 2001, she told her estranged husband, named only as Pedro GM, who was living in a different town, that strangers had entered her home and taken her daughter Sara, demanding payment of 30,000 euros (£23,000) for her safe return.

A year later, she claimed that the girl had been taken again, this time to settle a drug debt, and asked her husband to cough up 48,000 euros (£38,000) for her release.

In 2003 she again approached her husband, this time claiming that their son Emilio had been snatched after she failed to pay 36,000 euros (£28,000) she owed to a clothing wholesaler. He once again paid the money and the child was “returned” unharmed.

In 2004, she faked another kidnapping, again of her teenage son Emilio, claiming that drug dealers were demanding 54,000 euros (£43,000) for a package of cocaine that the boy had lost. Once again, the father paid the ransom demand to his wife to pass on.

In December 2005 and January 2006 she again claimed that their son had got himself in trouble and was being held to ransom, but this time she said he had been taken by members of a gypsy family who wanted blood money totalling 180,000 euros (£142,000) because he had taken the virginity of a 13-year old relative.

Finally, in Sept 2006 she and her friends concocted a story claiming that Emilio had again been abducted from outside their home in the Madrid suburb of Fuenlabrada. On this occasion, the boy himself called his father, claiming his attackers were torturing him and were threatening to kill him unless a ransom of 252,000 euros (£200,000) was paid.

How were they caught?

Minutes later [after the boy called his father] he was spotted in the street having a drink with friends, said the private detective hired by Pedro G M to investigate the case.

I think it's only appropriate to end this post with some quotes about greed.

"To be perfectly honest, what I'm really thinking about are dollar signs." Tonya Harding

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed” Gandhi

"I'm a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Greed is a fat demon with a small mouth and whatever you feed it is never enough." Janwillem van de Wetering

"How did I get involved in a terrible film like Best Defense? The door opened and four men came in carrying a check." Eddie Murphy (Note that, although it might seem criminal, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress is a civil claim.)

And my favorite:

"Money doesn't talk, it swears." Bob Dylan

You've probably never been arrested, let alone twice in one day. Carl Michael Gunther of Naperville, Illinois, has. As reported by the Chicago Tribune:

Police were called to the Crosstown Pub and Grill at 909 E. Ogden Ave. in Naperville after Carl Michael Gunther, of the 1000 block of Jane Avenue, refused management's request to leave, police said.

Big mistake, that.

Police searched Gunther's car and determined he had driven while intoxicated.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] Did they breathalyze the car? Anyway ...

Police said they found a multicolored glass pipe in his car.

Police said Gunther resisted arrest and urinated in his jail cell while he was being held. He was charged with driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia, damage to property and resisting a peace officer, police said.

Okay, not a good night, but at least it's over? Nope.

After posting $300 bond, Gunther took a cab to a relative's house, where he left the cab without paying, police alleged.

Dude!

Police were called to Pembroke Road near Chicago Avenue about 4 a.m. April 22 and arrested Gunther again. He was taken to the DuPage County Jail, where he was charged with theft of labor/services and violation of bail bond, police said.

The Juice would recommend laying low for a spell. Here's the source.

This is the story of a man who thought big, very big. Unfortunately, his thoughts involved the altering of a $10 check he received when he closed a bank account. The new number on the check? $269,951! Per the News-Press:

A Cape Coral [Florida] man was arrested Monday on fraud and grand theft charges after he allegedly tried to alter a $10 check from Florida Gulf Bank to $269,951 then deposit it.

Clair Arthur Smith, 42, is also facing a charge of failing to register as a convicted felon in Lee County.

Oops. What's the evidence?

Investigators searched Smith’s home and found the deposit receipt and the clothes he used during the [ATM] transaction.

Oh, and ...

Smith confessed to investigators on tape to the crime.

Click here for the source, including a photo.

So maybe wearing this particular shirt to court was not the best decision Jennifer LaPenta, 19, of Round Lake Park, Illinois ever made. But did it warrant two days in jail? As reported by the Lake County News-Sun:

Associate Judge Helen Rozenburg charged LaPenta with contempt of court for wearing the garment in her courtroom Monday. LaPenta was sitting in the gallery waiting for a friend's case to be called when the judge called her forward.

What did the shirt say?

"I own the [pussy], so I make the rules."

So what happened?

Rozenburg asked LaPenta if she thought her shirt was appropriate.

LaPenta said she told the judge that it would have been inapprorpriate had she been the defendant.

Rozenburg immediately sentenced her to 48 hours in jail and had her cuffed, LaPenta said.

Why wear that shirt?

LaPenta said that she had been at a gym Monday when her friend asked her for a ride to the courthouse. She was wearing sweat pants and that T-shirt when she was cuffed and jailed.

LaPenta said she bought the shirt in the gay section of Spencer's. She said she is openly homosexual and said the judge was a "homophobe" for putting her in custody for wearing the shirt.

"I'm shocked that the judge took the actions she did. She could have asked her to remove her shirt or leave the courtroom," said Peter Kalagis, LaPenta's attorney. "To me, that was an extreme action."

LaPenta said the judge did not give her an opportunity to turn her shirt inside out or exit the courtroom.

Here's the source.

Really? You're going to use a taser (in the back!) on a guy who posed NO THREAT to anyone? Have you read the manual? Even used properly, people die, Jack. Think about it.

For more taser posts, scroll down a bit, and enter "taser" in the "Search This Blog" box.

In some countries, it's legal to change your name to just about anything. That's what George Garratt decided to do. His new legal name? Hold on. The Juice needs to take a deep breath. Okay, here it goes ...

Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined.

Whew. That's a mouthful. Why would the Captain do that? Per The Telegraph:

"I wanted to be unique. I decided upon a theme of superheroes."

Oh, so that's the theme. Here's the source, including a photo of the Captain. And if you like stories about strange names, check this out.

Maybe you can get away with giving a fake name to the cops for a little while, but in this day and age, not for long. Although in this case, technology was not even a factor. From the Murfreesboro (Tennessee) Post:

When most people get pulled over by Murfreesboro’s finest and are asked to produce identification, they do so willingly.

But David Prochaska, 21, of Tomahawk Trace, thought differently when he was pulled over Wednesday and claimed to not have an ID on his person. He also gave a fake name and social security number.

That’s not the only difference between Prochaska and most people. He also has his initials tattooed on his neck.

Doh!

After noticing D.J.P. on the suspects neck, Murfreesboro Police Officer Ramona Thomas, searched Prochaska only to find a receipt in his pocket with his real name on it.

“It was also determined that Mr. Prochaska had four active warrants of his arrest,” Thomas reported.

Doh!

So, how can a 34-year-old man, who admitted to a four-month-long sexual relationship with a 13-year-old girl not see the inside of a cell? He was originally sentenced to 3 years but, on appeal, the court reduced the sentence to 1 year and 4 months. Why? The court concluded there was "real love" between Vicenza butcher Antonio de Pascale and the girl. Truly frightening, as are the comments of Judge Simonetta Matone of Rome:

The law must 'always look to be reasonable in these cases. Every relationship is a relationship and the real maturity, whether physical or psychological, of the minor must be weighed, with the help of experts.'

What? No! No weighing, your honor. I wonder where she would draw the line. Twelve? Ten? And why is it likely that de Pascale won't do any time? Because Italy currently has a general amnesty for anyone sentenced to less than 3 years. A fitting end to an outrageous case. To read more (a little), click here.

Although words can cause a lot more pain than a physical injury, a 21-year-old man who called a woman "fat" might disagree. As reported by the Lincoln [Nebraska] Journal Star:

Police say a 24-year-old man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn't like being called "fat." Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said officers were called to a Lincoln hospital around 3:25 a.m. Wednesday to talk to the injured man.

Flood said officers later learned that the injured man and two others had been arguing with other people at the birthday party. Flood says the man told 21-year-old Anna Godfrey that she was fat.

Officers said Godfrey then tackled the man and took a bite.

And what about the ear?

Flood said the ear chunk was not found.

Zoinks. The charge?

Godfrey was arrested on suspicion of felony assault and remained in custody Wednesday.

To the South Park fans out there, remember, words are like bullets.