Legal Juice

If it sounds really crazy, it's usually true. As reported by the Los Angeles Times:

A 28-year-old man pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor count of animal cruelty in a bizarre New Year's Eve incident in which he leaped off the San Diego-Coronado Bridge with an Oceanside police dog biting his arm. The dog died in the fall.

Cory Nathaniel Byron also pleaded guilty Wednesday to felony counts of drunk driving and evading arrest. The incident began with Byron being chased for 45 miles by Oceanside police along Interstate 5. When he stopped on the bridge, a police dog named Stryker was sent to subdue him.

Byron, who has two previous drunk driving convictions, suffered a collapsed lung and other injuries. He faces four years in prison when sentenced Oct. 29 in Vista Superior Court.

Once again, proof that truth is stranger than fiction ...

So check out these fellas, as reported by The Arkansas Times:

Worst dillweeds:

Several people were arrested in April and charged in a series of burglaries in the Hillcrest section of west Little Rock after they pawned a digital camera that contained pictures of them displaying and bragging about all the loot they'd stolen, including the camera.

Doh! Reminds me of the "wet bandits" from Home Alone.

Talk about really bad timing (or being really stoned - or both), as reported by The Maryland Coast Dispatch [Ocean City]:

On Monday evening, an OCPD officer was in the Liquor Mart on 18th Street investigating a theft when he observed a female standing at the counter paying for her purchase.

When the female customer, identified as Allison Naughton, 22, of Ocean City, pulled out her wallet to take out her driver’s license, a small bag of marijuana fell out of the wallet and onto the floor. Naughton was arrested and charged with possession and has been released.

Doh! I'm thinking Ms. Naughton won't be keeping her weed in her wallet anymore.

Actually, it would be "bugnapper." As reported in The South Asian Post:

SILIGURI, India - A Czech national who was sentenced to three years imprisonment by a court for collecting rare insects from a national park in Darjeeling has fled India after jumping bail. Entomologist Emil Kuchera left India by crossing the country's border with Nepal on Oct 21, the police said. Kuchera left behind his passport that was in the custody of Darjeeling Chief Judicial Magistrate. Kuchera had been arrested under the Wildlife Protection Act on June 22 near Singalila National Park, for collecting rare insects like beetles, butterflies and moths without permission.

I love bugs (fried cicadas, anyone?), but 3 years?! That's a little harsh. (Please, PETA members, no more emails!) (Unlike this guy, I would never mistreat a living creature.)

What did the Landlord allegedly do? He crashed his Hummer into their - um, his - house! At about 2:30 a.m.! As reported by delawareonline:

According to New Castle County police, the tenants, a 50-year-old man and his 53-year-old wife, awoke around 2:30 a.m. to a loud crash at their home on Lute Court in the Harmony Woods development in Ogletown.

They looked outside to see "headlights shining into the bedroom" and quickly went to check on their 6-year-old son sleeping in a separate bedroom. They then heard what sounded like a person attempting to kick in the front door.

As the woman was on the phone, calling 911, Ott allegedly shouted, "Tell the police it's the landlord that tore up the building."

He then fled the scene, according to police, leaving a footprint on the front door.

Officers investigating the incident later went to Ott's home on Old Baltimore Pike and found his Hummer, damaged, with a pine branch lodged in the bumper.

Doh! What is the landlord, Mr. Ott looking at?

...charges of attempted burglary, harassment, leaving the scene of an accident, reckless driving, failure to report an accident and endangering the welfare of the three occupants of the home.

Whew. I'm out of breath.

It's often not pretty when relationships end. But what would these doctors do about the dog they both wanted? From the Bangkok Post:

A woman doctor shot at her boyfriend, who was also a doctor at the same hospital in Ubon Ratchathani province, after he refused to let her take care of their dog after the couple broke up.

Fortunately, the shots missed Supachoke Buddhacharoenlarp and hit his Jeep Cherokee instead. Dr Supachoke told police that he and Napawan Choppradit, 29, had been together for some time, but had decided to separate.

On Thursday, they met to settle matters, but could not agree on who would take care of the dog.

"Dr Napawan wanted to take the dog, but I refused. After arguing for a while, I got in the car, where the dog was being kept. She was angry and shot at us two times," he said. Dr Napawan has been charged with attempted murder.

Attempted murder! Sweet fancy Moses! I'm thinking this won't help her in canine custody court ...

I would imagine it does not get more embarrassing than this. As reported by lite-news.com:

A pensioner was caught engaged in a sex act with a horse when the animal’s owner drove past and could not believe what he was seeing.

Retired farm worker David Chamberlin was watched as he led the horse towards bushes at the side of a field in Billingham, near Stockton.

The owner pulled over his car and approached, and saw the animal’s head being pulled down towards the 71-year-old’s groin, a court was told.

Shocked and disgusted, he smacked Chamberlin with a stick, which caused the horse to run off, dragging the grey-haired pervert across the field with it.

Noel Brockbank, prosecuting, told Teesside Magistrates’ Court yesterday that the man saw Chamberlin’s flies were undone, and called the police.

After being arrested, and confessing, it emerged that Chamberlin has a lengthy history of sexual deviance going back four decades.

Egad. To read the rest of the story (a fair amount) click here.

Regular Juice readers may recall that this will not be the first post involving a Motion to Continue a trial due to ... a football game! I'm sure it won't be the last, unfortunately.

And just in case you think that maybe The Juice just doesn't like football ... He was spotted at 3 Super Bowls over the years, coincidentally all involving the Redskins ... Furthermore, he was spotted at almost every home Redskins game from 1967 until that painful day in December 1996 (notwithstanding the thrashing of the Cowboys) when the curtains at RFK closed.

Having established his bona fides, let's just say it's not a motion The Juice would ever file (not that there's anything wrong with it ...) Word is that the judge was inclined to grant it (and may have done so already). Click here to read the Motion.

Yes, times are tough. But check this out, from a sermon by Anglican priest Tim Jones, per The Daily Mail:

He told parishioners [shoplifting from major stores] would not break the eighth commandment 'thou shalt not steal' because it 'is permissible for those who are in desperate situations to take food that they might not starve'.

Really? I haven't seen that version of the ten commandments.

Father Jones, 42, was discussing Mary and the birth of Jesus when he went on to the subject of how poor and vulnerable people cope in the run-up to Christmas.

'My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift,' he told his stunned congregation at St Lawrence and St Hilda in York.

'I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.

'I would ask them not to take any more than they need. I offer the advice with a heavy heart. Let my words not be misrepresented as a simplistic call for people to shoplift.

Good luck getting that genie back in the bottle. You can read more (a fair amount) here.

True, and there are photos of it on the Washington City Paper site, which you can see if you click here. And check out the video below of the snowball fight. I'm not sure when it took place relative to the police officer brandishing his gun.

No need to think twice about sticking out your tongue, either in the United States, or probably almost everywhere except ... Italy. You may not believe this but, as reported by UPI, "Italy's highest court of appeal affirmed the illegality of insulting someone by sticking your tongue out at them." And no, this is not The Juice's April 1 post.

The case brought before the Cassation Court involved a farmer whose tongue gesture was captured by a cellphone camera held by the neighbor with whom he was arguing.

The farmer, Carlo O., had been convicted by a justice of the peace of insulting the neighbor, the Italian news agency ANSA reported.

The Cassation Court let stand the conviction and ordered Carlo O. to pay his neighbor's court costs of $1,863.81. He will also have to pay damages, which will be set in a different trial, the news agency said Friday.

Italian courts often find people guilty of offending someone's honor, ANSA reported.

Wow. And to think the U.S. insurance and business lobbies complain endlessly about frivolous lawsuits...

Australian Christian Marchesani has unambiguous contempt for speed cameras. Per the Australian Broadcasting Corporation:

... in January Marchesani sat on the fuel tank of his motorbike and rode past a speed camera twice with his thumbs up, reaching speeds of up to 130 kilometres an hour in a 70 zone.

The birds?

In March, he rode past another camera at 117 kilometres an hour while kneeling on his fuel tank and making obscene gestures [think middle fingers].

Maybe he just had a bad few months?

At the time of the offences he was riding under suspension and serving a suspended prison sentence for similar driving offences.

Um. Nevermind. Mr. Marchesani was sentenced to 10 months in jail. Here's the source.

Hey, it's not so easy to start a cult. Just ask Tennessee resident Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey. As reported by News Channel 9:

He called himself "The Impaler". He claimed to be a vampire. Now, Jonathan Sharkey can call himself an inmate.

Sharkey wanted to start up a commune in rural Grundy County. Now, Sharkey is headed to jail after pleading guilty to threatening to torture and kill a judge in Indianapolis. Sharkey who calls himself "the Impaler" will spend more than two years in jail for making those threats. Prosecutors say Sharkey threatened to beat, torture, impale and decapitate Judge David Certo, who is presiding over another case involving Sharkey. Last October, Sharkey spent time in a Grundy County jail on outstanding warrants from Minnesota.

Olay hires Twiggy (age 60) to promote a product (the Definity eye illuminator) that supposedly makes your eyes look younger. Said the ad, next to a photo of Twiggy ...

Olay is my secret to brighter-looking eyes.

There's just one small problem - the photo was airbrushed! I kid you not. And it was for this reason, as reported by The Guardian, that the ad ...

... has been banned by the advertising watchdog, after more than 700 complaints gathered for a campaign against airbrushing in ads by the Liberal Democrat MP Jo Swinson.

In its ruling, the ASA said that it considered that the post-production retouching of the original ad, specifically in the eye area, could give consumers a "misleading impression of the effect the product could achieve".

A combination of the retouching and the language of the ad was likely to mislead consumers, it ruled.

What was Procter & Gamble's (they own Olay) defense?

P&G said that there would "always be differences between uncomplimentary paparazzi shots and professional beauty photographs".

Really? Just fess up. You perpetrated a fraud (albeit not earth-shattering). You got caught. You're sorry. And it won't happen again. But Nooooooooooooo! (channeling John Belushi from SNL) ...

P&G added that it was "routine practice to use post-production techniques to correct for lighting and other minor photographic deficiencies before publishing the final shots as part of an advertising campaign".

That's your defense? That this shit happens all the time? Nevertheless ...

The company said that there had been some "minor retouching" around Twiggy's eyes, which was inconsistent with its own policies; this had already prompted it to withdraw the original ad and replace with one in which there was no post-production work around the eyes.

Here's the source, with a picture of the ad.

(Full disclosure: "Hair" is one of The Juice's top ten favorite films.) Even in late 2009, long hair is STILL an issue in some schools. The crazy thing about this story is, we're talking about a 4-year-old boy! (Click on the link at the end of the post to see his picture.) Seems Taylor's long hair violates this Texas schools dress code. As reported by The Dallas Morning News:

It's too long, Mesquite ISD administrators say, and Taylor can't attend class with other students until he gets a haircut.

Since early November, the pre-kindergartner has had lessons with a teacher's aide in the library at Floyd Elementary School, cut off from other students. Neither his parents, who refuse to cut his hair, nor the school district is happy about that, but no one knows when it is likely to end.

A 4-year-old essentially in solitary confinement because of his hair. Brilliant!

"The school cannot give us an honest reason why we should force him to cut his hair. He loves his hair," said Taylor's father, Delton Pugh Jr., on Tuesday. "I'll move out of this school district before I'll force him to cut his hair."

According to Taylor's mother, Elizabeth Taylor, no one complained about her son's hair until October, when the principal told her it needed to be cut. She refused because he likes his hair long, his father has long hair and the family has American Indian heritage.

Even so, she tried to work with the school and this idiotic rule.

She did trim the child's hair along the sides and back, but school officials said it was still too long. She offered to put Taylor's hair in a pony tail and slick back the front so it "will look nice," she said.

Aaaargh! You can read more (a lot) and see a picture of Taylor here.

I know lots of states still have stupid laws criminalizing premarital sex. But the Juice found this Minnesota law to be particularly amusing.

609.34 Fornication.

When any man and single woman have sexual intercourse with each other, each is guilty of fornication, which is a misdemeanor.

Now I understand the backstory for Minnesota's state slogan: "Minnesota - Three's Not A Crowd." Here's the statute.

Yeah, you generally want to be clean when you leave the house. The Juice would suggest, though, that this does not apply when it's a house you've broken into! A Texas man would beg to differ. As reported by KETK News:

Around three thirty [Sunday] morning, [Tyler, Texas] officers got a call that someone had kicked in the door of a house on the 3300 block of Garden Valley Road.

Okay. Just another break-in ...

When officers entered the residence, they found 25 year-old Larry Ticey naked in the bathtub.

After a brief struggle, Ticey was arrested and taken to the Smith County Jail. He's charged with criminal trespassing.

I mean, really! Can't a man just take a bath in peace!

No, it's not the "give us cash to protect yourself from us" kind of protection. Without even being there, Chuck Norris has singlehandedly ended a series of break-ins at a bakery in Split, Croatia. From the Croatian Times:

Store bosses have seen off burglars by placing a life-sized photo of Hollywood action star Chuck Norris in the window.

The posh bakery shop in Split, Croatia, had often been broken until they put up the poster of the karate champ with a sign saying: "This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris."

Now the bakery hasn't had a single burglary for more than a month. "People seem to respect him," said a sales assistant.

Don't mess with Chuck Norris.

Truth be told, "Snowzilla" is the real name of the 16-foot snowman in question. Some families in Anchorage, Alaska began building him in 2005. He was a huge hit. Per The Anchorage Daily News:

It was just a few years ago that 16-foot-tall Snowzilla arose in a residential yard in Airport Heights, launching an annual procession of local gawkers and an international media blitz.

Camera crews came from Russia and Japan.

Russia's just across the pond (wink!), but Japan! But, alas, not everyone was keen on Snowzilla and his legions of fans.

So, city officials have deemed Snowzilla a public nuisance and safety hazard.

A few weeks ago, city code enforcers left three red signs at Snowzilla's bottom body ball telling its builders to cease and desist.

The city also tacked a public notice on the door of the Powers family home at 1556 Columbine St.

You bastards! You killed Snowzilla! And it's unlikely he'll be brought back to life. Why?

Under the city's nuisance abatement order, if [Mr. Powers] tries, he could get arrested.

Bunch of Scrooges.... Here's the source.

Here's a wacky current Minnesota law I stumbled upon:

609.294 Bestiality.

Whoever carnally knows a dead body or an animal or bird is guilty of bestiality, which is a misdemeanor. If knowingly done in the presence of another the person may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than one year or to payment of a fine of not more than $3,000 or both.

I have several questions. Exactly why would would having sex with a dead PERSON fall under the bestiality law? What kind of mind would conceive of a person having sex with a bird? Is this even possible? (Please, don't answer that.) The Juice is at a loss. Here's a link to the statute.

You betcha. A 20-year-old construction worker named Cory Bishop got a ticket for having "indecent" stickers on his car. Where are things apparently going so well that they have time to write tickets for such a harmless "offense?" Harrisonville, Kansas. Per the Kansas City Pitch, here's what the stickers said:

Imports are like tampons. Every pussy has one.

Spark plugs are for Pussies.

Stroke this Bitch.(with an illustration)

Bishop fought the ticket and ... lost. But ...

... the prosecuting attorney eventually threw out the charge against Bishop...

That's not it, though.

On September 5, the ACLU’s new chief counsel and legal director, Doug Bonney, fired off a letter to Harrisonville Mayor Kevin Wood questioning the ordinance. He cited case law that upholds citizens’ right to display language that others deem “vulgar.” He suggested the city at least amend the measure. “The current ordinance’s ban on display of ‘indecent’ signs on private property is unconstitutional and cannot stand,” Bonney wrote. “We would like to work with the City to resolve this problem.”

Here's betting that law won't be on the books very long. Click here for the source.

Please, MADD, no emails. As a personal injury lawyer, the Juice is very aware of the dangers of drunk drivers. Fortunately, this guy didn't hurt anyone. He had the good fortune to pass out while waiting for his food in a McDonald's drive-thru in New Jersey! As reported by The Daily Journal:

Police responded to the McDonald's for a report of an unconscious person in the driver's seat of a vehicle in the drive-thru line at 1:30 p.m. Friday.

1:30 p.m.? Early start there, dude.

Officer Rick Earl said in his report that when he opened the driver's side door of McRae's truck, he smelled a strong odor of alcoholic beverage. McRae then awoke and said to the officer, "Hey, Sarge," according to the report.

When Earl asked McRae if he had been drinking, McRae replied, "Yeah Sarge, I had a few, but we can work this out," the report states.

Unlikely.

McRae refused to perform field sobriety tests, according to the report, and was taken to police headquarters, where he needed help walking into the building. His vehicle was towed from the scene.

The charges?

... driving while intoxicated, refusal to submit to a breath test and reckless driving.

The Juice enjoys skiing, but this is just nuts. A Colorado woman tried to pass herself off as her boyfriend so that she could use his ski pass! From The Aspen Times:

The trouble started when a woman was caught trying to use a man named Daniel's ski pass at Keystone Resort. When asked for a date of birth, she complied but “was slow to recall it” according to a report from the Summit County Sheriff's Office.

The woman claimed to be in the middle of a sex change and couldn't provide any personal information beyond the birthday and middle name.

“The female stated her parents knew of her sex change, and she stated they disowned her when she told them,” according to the report.

So if we call your parents ...

[Daniel's] father was “shocked” last weekend when a local deputy called asking whether his son was having a sex-change operation.

So shocked that he called the police back to make sure the call was legit. The jig was really up when ...

An hour later, the Keystone scanning supervisor told the deputy there was a phone number on Daniel's ski pass file. The deputy called the number and Daniel answered, informing the deputy that he had given the pass to his girlfriend, Wanda.

Doh! Time to come clean?

The woman spoke with Daniel then told the deputy that she was actually Wanda.

Case closed, the investigation anyway...

[Wanda] was arrested and booked on charges of theft of more than $500 and criminal impersonation.

Regular Juice readers will recall this recent post about a marijuana greenhouse set up just 25 feet from a police station. But what if I told you a gent grew marijuana, in prison, with the permission of the guards! And he did it for at least 5 months before he was busted! What do you think he was in for? Drugs? Yup. As reported by The Sun:

Gold-toothed Mohamed Jalloh, 28, convinced jail staff [at Verne Prison in Portland, Dorset] that his super-powerful skunk crop was really tomato plants.

[They] even [let him] decorate one 4ft plant as a CHRISTMAS TREE.

So how was he caught?

Eventually he was grassed up by a jealous inmate - and guards then identified the plants using Google snaps.

Damn you snitch! Damn you Google! Here's the source.

I would bet that even troglodytes are aware of the depth and breadth of the Xbox craze. Even people in their - um - 40s are caught up in it. Even amidst this craze, I think it's fair to say this guy overreacted. As reported by WXYZ (Troy, Michigan):

Clerks inside the Gamestop store at the Oakland Mall weren't allowed to talk on the record [really?], but say it was a bizarre scene that played out inside the store Wednesday around noon.

They say one of their regular customers, whom they describe as odd, walked into the store wearing a blue fur coat. He was irate even before talking to the salesmen, cursing and demanding a refund for his Xbox.

One of the salesmen figured his behavior could spell trouble and, as trained, went into the mall to alert security.

Mall security came to the store and spoke with the 43-year-old customer from Detroit, his anger heightened as he threatened to kill someone.

That's when security called Troy Police.

Admit it. You're swept up in the story now... And then ...

Store employees, knowing police were on their way, tried to stall the customer, and told him they needed his receipt. The customer went to his car and came back with the proof of purchase. Moments later, four police officers arrived, armed with rifles and clearing out the store. Officers say they frisked the man, and according to workers, they held a gun to his head and took him into custody.

That's it? A proof of purchase and a stun gun? The charges? Making threats against mall workers. The Juice hopes the gent opts for a little more life, and a little less Xbox live.
 

Um... A police car! A MARKED police car! Said the owner of the towing company, Gary Coe, "I think he just lost it." Gresham, Oregon police officer Tom Pohlman was resonding to an assault-in-progress at 2:20 a.m. When he was told over the radio that "They're towing you're car," Pohlman said "#@!&* + !&%*^#!" Actually, he said "You can't print my response." [Note to Officer Pohlman: This ain't The Oregonian. Contact the Juice. We will print your response, unedited.]

Why would tow truck driver Steven Syverson, who had 8 months on the job without incident, try to tow a police car? Because the car was parked in a fire zone. Guess what? The police can do this. What happened to Syverson? Lots of bad stuff. As reported in The Oregonian, he was fired AND "arrested on accusations of car theft, obstructing governmental administration, interfering with a peace officer, and third-degree criminal mischief."

So where does this rate on the weirdness scale? Per Officer Pohlman:

"I've been around cops and done this stuff since 1974," says Pohlman, who, at 55, is eligible to retire. "And this is in the top five or six things that I can say I've ever seen people do. And I've seen some pretty weird things."

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So you think you're a good multitasker? Could you do all of this simultaneously?

Light up a joint ...

... while holding a beer...

... while speeding down the road?

I didn't think so. Per The Cairns Post (Australia):

A driver lit up a joint while speeding past an unmarked police car with an open can of beer in his clutches, incredulous police have alleged.

The El Arish man, 29, was clocked at 115km/hr [71 mph] when he overtook police on on the El Arish-Mission Beach Rd on Cassowary Drive at Bingil Bay, south of Cairns.

When they pulled him over, police say they detected the smell of cannabis emanating from his vehicle.

A subsequent search located a small quantity of cannabis in the car.

It will be alleged that the man admitted to police that he had just lit up a joint as he overtook the police vehicle.

Hey, at least he wasn't texting ... And if you like multitasking stories, here's a really good one,and here's another.

Gino Lee Breeze, a 20-year-old man from Wales, has a wee bit of a thin skin. Thing is, the gents he thought were joking about him, weren't. No matter, though. The wheels were set in motion as Mr. Breeze went to the home of one of the men he thought had a laugh at his expense. Then things got ugly. Per the North Wales Daily Post:

Breeze went to the [victim's] house and pushed his way in. He assaulted the man and then ordered him to lick his feet. "He filmed the incident on his mobile phone," [prosecutor] Evans said.

Humiliating, gross and weird.

Later that day Breeze returned to the man’s house and subjected him to a second ordeal. Mr Evans said Breeze got a knife and a fork from the kitchen. "While holding the knife to the man’s ear and the fork near his eyes he ordered him to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep."

The defense?

"He accepts his behaviour was despicable," said Mr Edwards [for the defense].

I guess it's tough to deny it when you've recorded the crime on your phone. The time? 3 years. Here's the source.

Maybe it's a good idea to give a prisoner at least a few bucks upon his release? And maybe it's not such a good idea to try to rob somebody right after you are released from jail? Anyway, this guy definitely picked the wrong woman to try to rob. From China Daily:

[Mr.] Zhang, left for Qingyuan county soon after being released from the Xinbin Man autonomous county prison.

With no cash for food, Zhang barged into a 48-year-old woman's house, hoping to steal some money. The woman, however, convinced Zhang that he looked very tired and should take a nap, promising him to give him some money once he woke up.

So much for TCB.

The woman tied the intruder with a rope as soon as he slept off and phoned the police.

Damn you, crafty, hypnotic lady! What kind of time do you get for a crime like this? In Qingyuan County, Liaoning Province in China, you get six years! Just a little bit more than you would get in the U.S....

We don't know if there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe. And it seems unlikely that we'll find out by installing software on our computers to detect the presence of aliens. But that is precisely what the former director of IT for the Higley Unified School District in Arizona is accused of doing. As reported by abc15.com (Phoenix, AZ) ...

Brad Niesluchowski ...has resigned [after being given a notice of termination in October, per Superintendent Denise Birdwell] amidst an investigation that he installed software to spy for aliens on school computers.

Dr. Birdwell said Niesluchowski installed the software program SETI@home on nearly 5,000 HUSD computers. SETI stands for the "Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence."

And?

Birdwell said the program caused the district's computers to run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

That's a lot of juice, no? Yes.

The district estimates during the 9 years of Niesluchowski's employment, he cost the district as much as $1.6 million in electricity, bandwith and the diminished life expectancy of computers.

Costly and odd, but criminal?

Birdwell said the district is working with Gilbert Police as part of a criminal investigation.

The Juice is down with restitution, not prosecution.

And what exactly was this man referring to when he asked his neighbor if she "wanted a piece of this?" His penis! Brilliant! And of course his name is "Mr. Smart" - really. Here's the skinny, per The Cairns Post:

A man taking a pee in his front yard waved his penis at the woman living next door then sprayed her car with urine during a neighbourhood row at White Rock, Cairns.

Father of four Stephen Charles Smart, 42, who pleaded guilty to wilful exposure in Cairns Magistrates' Court recently, also asked the neighbour if she "wanted a piece of this".

Yes, of course there's a defense. Here it is:

Smart's lawyer Tom Eckersley said ... there had been an ongoing feud between the neighbours for some time during which [Mr. Smart'] roof had been rocked and stones thrown at his dog.

and ...

Smart ... had been having a barbecue in his front yard in Malibu Close and had gone to urinate against his own front fence when he called out to the neighbour, thinking he was semi-shielded.

Continued the lawyer:

But Mr Eckersley said the woman had walked further down her driveway than he thought and was able to see him clearly.

The time?

Magistrate Suzette Coates .. released Smart on a six-month good behaviour bond and did not record a conviction ...

Seems just to the Juice.