Legal Juice

This is how you [allegedly] treat your disabled wife? Per the Worcester, Massachusetts Telegram:

Wayne G. Prinsen, 50, of 5 Spring St., Spencer, was released on personal recognizance and ordered to stay away and have no contact with his wife in accordance with a restraining order. He was charged with assault and battery, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (a shod foot), assault and battery on a disabled person and intimidation of a witness.

According to court documents, a family member called police Sept. 23, concerned that Mr. Prinsen had injured his wife. Police went to the home and found the alleged victim, who was upset.

Police said she told an officer that she had risen at 3:30 a.m. to make her husband’s lunch because she had not been feeling well the night before when she normally would have made him a sandwich. The woman suffers from fibromyalgia, an incurable disease that causes pain, sleeping problems, stiffness and headaches, according to the National Institutes of Health, Department of Health and Human Services.

She told police she was taking out peanut butter and jelly along with meat when Mr. Prinsen warned her that he would be leaving in 5 minutes. She told him the lunch would be ready and he responded by punching her in the stomach and kicking her, the report said. He also broke a telephone. She went upstairs and he left for work at a home improvement store in Shrewsbury.

Police wrote that the woman had “contusions” on her stomach and knee from the assault and they sought an arrest warrant for Mr. Prinsen.

He will be back in court for a pretrial hearing on Nov. 19.

Cold. Ice cold.

I like animals too, but this is nuts. As reported by The Daily Telegraph:

In one of Sydney's weirdest crimes, a young woman has been accused of pulling a gun on a dog owner at their home in a brazen attempt to steal a Chihuahua puppy after posing as a would-be buyer.

A police spokesman said: “About 11.30am, the 26-year-old woman went to a house on Perkins Avenue at Kellyville after making an appointment to purchase a Chihuahua puppy.

“Once inside the home, the woman allegedly produced a firearm and demanded the puppy.

“The woman was then restrained and the firearm seized by the occupants, who included an off-duty policeman from The Hills Local Area Command.

“Police attended the house and the woman was arrested and taken to Castle Hill police station. The woman’s firearm was found to be a replica of a Glock pistol. She has been charged with robbery whilst armed and possession of a prohibited weapon and will appear at Parramatta Local Court on October 15.”

Here's the source.

Who knew a couple mankinis would cause such a fuss? As reported by the BBC:

Two students who dressed up as the TV character Borat are at the centre of a row in Vietnam.

The pair performed a dance act at a company party dressed as the spoof Kazakh journalist in his notoriously skimpy "mankini" swimming costume.

They have now found themselves suspended from college for 12 months.

The incident, dubbed the "nude dance of FPT Arena students", has stirred up a storm on internet forums and also in the domestic media.

The leading technology firm FPT owns the college where the two performers were studying design.

In a statement, FPT Arena said the organisers of the party did not know about the act in advance, adding that two of the firm's executives had been sacked over the incident.

Hanoi Cultural Inspectorate on Tuesday fined the college 4m dong ($240; £135) for a number of offences including "use of improper clothing".

You can read more here.

I don't think there's any doubt that Anthony Vakeva's bird-flipping days are over. In January 2005, Mr. Vakeva flipped off Mr. Blackwell at a red light. I'm guessing he would have thought twice about doing so had he known that Blackwell was a TRAINED AMATEUR BOXER (with a very short fuse.) It didn't end when Blackwell sucker-punched Vakeva and kicked him in the head many times. After he was arrested and released on bail, Blackwell went and shot Vakeva! He was sentenced to .... 8 years. You can read more here.

Would you turn your kid into the police if you knew he was breaking the law? This mother answered "yes" as reported by The Sandusky Register:

A 16-year-old boy who used a page from his Bible as a rolling paper for a marijuana joint was charged with drug possession, an Erie County sheriff deputy's report said.

The boy's mother called deputies at about 11:35 p.m. Tuesday, asking them to meet her at a car wash on Ohio 101.

The mother said she saw her son smoking in his bedroom and found a small bag of marijuana in his night stand, the report said.

The mother told deputies her son "was smoking a marijuana cigarette using a page from his Bible," the report said.

Oh my god! Did you hear that screaming out back? I'm going to call the police! What did the police find? As reported in the Northern Territory News:

Officers scrambled to respond to an emergency call from a woman who reported a possible attack when she heard someone "in distress" behind a fence about 6.30am.

But when police arrived they discovered what the resident had heard was, in fact, cries of passion.

They found a naked couple having sex on a mattress in a laneway backing on to the resident's property on Gap Rd, Alice Springs.

Um, er, uh ...

The officers did not charge the man and woman and asked them to move on.

Talk about ruining the mood ...

Darn it! I went and gave it away, didn't I? If I asked you to guess what some of the members of Polk County's High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area task force were doing while their coworkers were executing a search warrant, you'd probably guess "playing a Wii" right? As reported by Florida's News Channel 8:

With guns drawn and flashlights cutting through darkened rooms, Polk County undercover drug investigators stormed the home of convicted drug dealer Michael Difalco near Lakeland in March.

As investigators searched the home for drugs, some drug task force members found other ways to occupy their time. Within 20 minutes of entering Difalco's house, some of the investigators found a Wii video bowling game and began bowling frame after frame.

While some detectives hauled out evidence such as flat screen televisions and shotguns, others threw strikes, gutter balls and worked on picking up spares.

A Polk County sheriff's detective cataloging evidence repeatedly put down her work and picked up a Wii remote to bowl. When she hit two strikes in a row, she raised her arms above her head, jumping and kicking.

Now, you may be asking yourself "how did anyone find out about this?" The answer, loyal Juice readers, will surprise you:

... detectives with the Polk County Sheriff's Office, the Auburndale, Lakeland and Winter Haven police departments did not know that a wireless security camera connected to a computer inside Difalco's home was recording their activity.

Doh! You can read more (a lot) here and see excerpts of the security camera footage here.

So what's the problem with a guy washing his pants at a laundromat? Um, he apparently didn't have any other pants to wear ... and was walking around bottomless. Per the Naples Daily News:

Arresting Deputy Jeffrey S. Magner reported making contact with [Mr. James T.] Lowe while he sat against the window of the laundromat at 6000 Radio Road, and states he was wearing a jean jacket around his waist, but no pants. However, the report notes, "it was not completely covering his genitalia. At this time, there were several adults and small children walking around the plaza and in and out of the coin-operated laundry."

Exposed genitalia? Dude must have been high. Actually ...

The report further states that Lowe appeared impaired, and had a plastic mug with a "Bud Light" logo on the ground next to him, filled with a partially-consumed substance that smelled like alcohol. While taking him into custody, the report states, deputies also found a baggie of white pills on Lowe, but were unable to identify them through poison control.

The charges?

... indecent exposure in public, trespassing, having an open container of alcohol in a public area and resisting an officer without violence.

Here's the source, including a photo of Mr. Lowe.

The name police, in addition to residing in Sweden, also reside in Australia. Today's installment involves a couple who wanted to name their child "Ned Kelly." If you're wondering why that name would be a problem, click here for more information on this notorious Australian. Per The Daily Telegraph:

The [New South Wales] Registry [of Births, Deaths and Marriages] can reject a name for a number of reasons under the Registration Act 1995. Reasons include that the name might be obscene or offensive, is too long or includes ``symbols without phonetic significance.''

And if the Registry thinks a name is a problem but it doesn't fit in any of the offending categories, check out this catch-all provision:

The Act also bans ... names ``contrary to the public interest for some other reason.''

That seems to cover EVERYTHING! Here are a few other names that shared Ned Kelly's fate:

- Post Master General

- Chief Maximus

- Jesus Christ

- a blank space

- the child's Medicare number

- the number seven

Check out these names that made the grade:

- God Bless

- Metallica

- Fully Hektik Sik

Here's the source.

Um, a douchebag. Yeah, I'm sure I wouldn't be too thrilled if I were featured in a book called "Hot Chicks With Douchebags." As reported by RadarOnline, Mr. Michael Manelli was pissed enough to file a lawsuit against the publisher and Mr. Jay Louis, the author of the book and the creator of the website www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com, for including him in the book.

The lawsuit includes claims for libel, negligent infliction of emotional distress, intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy, and loss of goodwill. Click here for the RadarOnline story, which includes a link to the Complaint filed in Clark County, Nevada.

If the Guinness folks had a category for peeping toms, there is no doubt that this 46-year-old Canadian man would be in the book. (His name has not been released.) As reported at canada.com, he was arrested after "an apparent bungled break and enter." His real purpose was soon revealed.

He was carrying a digital video camera and two tapes, which contained 23 instances of alleged voyeurism in the form of women photographed in secret, said Sgt. John Price, police spokesman.

Yes, 23 is a big number, but ...

Later that day, officers searched the man's home and found 16 additional tapes containing as much as 90 hours of footage.

Shazam! 90 hours! The good news:

"He's been collecting material for his own use, it's pretty unusual to see that," said [criminology professor] Beauregard. "You would have thought you would collect such material to sell it to people or distribute it on the Internet... It looks to me like this guy is very into his own fantasies and he's using all this material just to fulfill all his fantasies."

Maybe that's why the neighbors haven't seen him in years ... Here's the link to the story.

So, not only did Adam Michael Kelly violate a parking meter, he also cussed out a police officer! Brilliant! As reported by The Cairns Post:

Police were called to a disturbance at the corner of Shields and Abbott streets on August 31 about 8.40pm and found Kelly dry-humping a parking meter and yelling out: "Yeah baby, you know you want it."

Police prosecutor Sen-Constable Michelle Long said Kelly was making large pelvic thrust actions and officers saw people walking by reacting with disgust at the performance.

This definitely sets a new standard for beer goggles ... Although some might find the parking meter behavior humorous, the conduct that followed was extremely offensive:

Then, while talking to police, a woman of Asian appearance walked by and in a loud voice Kelly looked at her and said "fucking gook, fuck off home", Sen-Constable Long said. [expletives reinserted]

At that point, police arrested the young labourer and took him to the watch-house.

The defense?

Kelly’s lawyer Richard O’Shane said his client had been extremely drunk after an extended binge-drinking session with teammates to celebrate the end of the CDRL football season.

"He can’t remember much of the incident," Mr O’Shane said.

You know the crime. The time?

...Kelly spent the night in the watch-house ... and was fined $150 in court yesterday for causing a public nuisance.

Here's the source.

If you do a good job, you should get a good tip, right? Let's say you work for Notre Dame University's catering department, and you earn a tip of $29.87. Such was the case for Sara Gaspar. As luck would have it (good luck, initially - now, not so good), per The South Bend Tribune:

...because of a "mistake," court documents say a total of $29,387 was deposited into her account.

Shazam! Uh-oh. I think he said "court documents." He did. Seems the school wants its money back (in addition to getting its pound of flesh - they fired her too). There's just one small problem...

Gaspar ... says she tried to alert the university about the large sum that showed up in her bank account, but that when her messages [at least 3 of them] weren't returned, she decided it was meant to be.

"I guess because it was there and I was in a bad situation, I went out and spent it [on medical bills and a 2002 Jetta]," Gaspar said when reached by phone.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

Is there really a law that forbids you from tipping someone for good service? Yup. (Okay, technically it's a by-law that applies to city-owned cemeteries.) In Hamilton, Ontario, you are forbidden from tipping a cemetery worker! Really. Props to The Hamilton Spectator for digging this up (sorry!). Here it is:

24. No tips or gratuities are to be given to cemetery workers by visitors or Rights Holders, nor shall any be accepted by any cemetery worker.

The Juice loves bicycles. He even commutes to work by bike. But if he were ever going to attempt a robbery, he wouldn't use a bicycle for the getaway! That's what James Lachenauer, Jr. is charged with. Incredibly, he wasn't caught on his bike. Per the South Florida Sun Sentinel:

Police said Lachenauer was armed with a silver revolver and entered the Medication Station Pharmacy on Woolbright Road around 10:30 a.m. He ordered the six people inside the business to the ground and pointed the revolver at a clerk and demanded oxycodone and morphine.

Lachenauer handed a backpack to the pharmacist, who filled it with 18 bottles of morphine sulfate, Oxycontin and oxycodone.

Lachenauer ran out of the pharmacy and onto a bicycle. He then dumped the bicycle and ran to his house in the 2300 block of Southeast Fourth Street, where he asked his mother for a ride to the store.

So how was he caught?

... officers combed the area for the suspect. Detective Jason Llopis observed a small green SUV on South Federal Highway driven by a woman and occupied by a man who matched the suspect's description. The car was stopped and the passenger was identified as Lachenauer.

And the goods?

Detectives recovered the backpack, which contained the 1,524 pills, in the car. Police found the revolver at Lachenauer's house.

Doh! The charges?

... armed robbery and trafficking in oxycodone and hydrocodone.

I doubt he'll be cycling anytime soon. Here's the source.

That depends. In this case, the offender had 2 previous drug offenses. He also had hidden over a pound of weed in a washing machine. But, and this was a big "but" for the Judge, the offender is a high-achieving environmental scientist, as reported by The Cairns Post (Australia). So, not only did Isha James Segboer, 34, get off with just 100 hours of community service ...

... Supreme Chief Justice Paul de Jersey took the unusual step of not recording a conviction, despite two previous drug offences, because he did not want to ruin the high-achieving environmental scientist’s career potential to help others.

What what what? [Funnier for South Park fans.] I almost forgot the "cake" defense.

Segboer’s lawyer Bebe Mellick said Segboer had been given the shopping bag of drugs by an associate and had intended to bake a cake out of it because of its poor quality, but had forgotten about it.

Huh? An interesting defense, to be sure. Here's the source.

Back in the day, getting high in the back of the bus was something that happened when the bus driver hit a bump in the road. This was not the case with two Ohio boys who were busted recently, as reported in the South Side Neighborhood Watch at Akron.com.

LAKEMORE: On Sept. 1, police charged a Samuel Road male and an Albrecht Avenue male with illegal use and possession of drug paraphernalia after a school bus driver reported they smoked marijuana on the bus and police found a drug pipe hidden in a seat and lighters on both of the boys.

I can't say I always behaved on the bus, but seriously!

I will forever think of this case when I hear anything about the European Court of Human Rights. As reported by The Argus:

[Hypnotherapist Imad Al-Khawaja] was convicted in 2004 of indecently assaulting two women, then aged 20 and 47, while they were hypnotised.

Al-Khawaja was handed consecutive 12-month and 15-month jail sentences after the jury returned unanimous guilty verdicts.

Said the Judge:

“This was an appalling breach of trust. You abused two vulnerable woman in your charge and under your control. You have not expressed any remorse for the distress you caused.”

About that remorse ...

When a disciplinary panel met in December to decide if he should be banned from medicine, Al-Khawaja sent them a letter quoting television comedian Catherine Tate: “Look at my face, am I bothered?”

Do you have a pulse? His 2 appeals within the United Kingdom were unsuccessful. But wait! What about the European Court of Human Rights? While they didn't overturn his convictions, they awarded him 6,000 euros (about $8,000 US) plus attorney's fees. And why would they do that?

Because he “inevitably suffered a degree of distress and anxiety as a result” of not being able to cross examine one of his accusers, whose written statement was read to the jury, but was not able to testify in person because she committed suicide before the trial! I still can't believe any court would give this man - who inflicted so much suffering - money for his "distress and anxiety." Here's the source.

You may recall the case involving Nevada Judge George Assad, who jailed a guy's girlfriend until he showed up in court. Problem was, she hadn't done anything! (This innocent nurse had just come to court to explain that her boyfriend just started a new job, so he couldn't make it.)

So, in June 2008, the Judge was ordered to apologize. But he didn't send the letter to the Judicial Discipline Commission until over a year later - on July 24, 2009! How was it received by the wrongfully imprisoned girlfriend? We may never know! Per The Las Vegas Sun:

[Ms.] Chrzanowski could not be reached for comment, but her lawyer, Cal Potter, said Wednesday that the apology, coming so many years later, is “hollow” and now “meaningless” to his client. He said he hasn’t been able to locate Chrzanowski, who may have left Las Vegas, to send her a copy of the letter.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

If you are among those who can look at a piece of bologna and still eat it, that may change after you read this. As reported by The Columbus Dispatch:

[Ex-deputy] Joseph M. Cantwell, 38, pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor health-code violations for giving Joseph Copeland a bologna sandwich that had been rubbed against another prisoner's penis.

What was the evidence that this grade-school prank actually happened?

Cantwell, of Park Point Lane in Lewis Center in Delaware County, and another deputy, Phillip Barnett, photographed the sandwich incident in the Downtown jail. Both were fired by Sheriff Jim Karnes in May.

Photos? Were these guys in a cave when the Abu Ghraib photos were EVERYWHERE? So what was the punishment?

Franklin County Municipal Judge Harland H. Hale fined Cantwell $500 but suspended a 90-day jail sentence, provided that he complete his [5 years of] probation.

What about the sandwich-eater?

Copeland and two other prisoners have sued the county.

Since the Juice has a soft spot for personal injury lawyers, he is really hoping that Mr. Copeland filed this action pro se. You can read more here.

Just how did 2 men in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania avoid the daily maximum withdrawal amount on the ATM at the Delaware County Memorial Hospital? They took the ATM! During visiting hours! Per myfoxfilly.com, it may have had up to $96,000 in it. The security tape above shows most of the heist. Click here to read more.

Maybe McDonald's has sold over 100 billion burgers, but McCurry (Malaysian Chicken Curry) wouldn't be intimidated. As reported by the BBC News:

The American fast-food giant McDonald's has lost an eight-year legal battle to prevent a Malaysian restaurant calling itself McCurry.

Talk about David vs. Goliath.

McCurry opened for business in Kuala Lumpur in 1999, and serves Indian dishes, including fish head curry and breads including tandoori naan.

So it was McDonald's (with over 30,000 "restaurants" worldwide, including 180 in Malaysia) against 1 McCurry. With the end of the litigation, McCurry looks to change that.

"We can now go ahead with whatever we plan to do such as opening new branches," [McCurry owner P Suppiah] said.

Here's the source.

Remember when a bunch of people at UCLA Medical Center snuck a peak at Brittany Spears' electronic medical records? No? I didn't either. Well they did. As reported by California Healthline:

The Department of Public Health said 53 employees, including 14 doctors, at UCLA Medical Center breached Spears' records on two occasions.

They were disciplined or fired, right?

None of the physicians quit or were fired.

What what what? None of the physicians? Then the nonphysicians must have skated by too, right? Nope.

18 [nonphysician] employees resigned, retired or were dismissed after the violations were discovered, according to UCLA data.

I'm guessing this is why:

In the past, UCLA has said physicians are overseen by a group of their peers, while other employees report to the human resources department.

Lovely. Here's the source.

So this woman (no, that's not her, but could you resist using that picture?) crashed her car and refused a breathalyzer test. For her crime, she was sentenced to 80 hours of community service. Apparently nobody anticipated that she would show up for the community service in 4-inch heels. She was sent back to court, as the boots were deemed a health and safety hazard. What do you think should happen? Here are excerpts of the story from The Daily Mail:

Debbie Stallard was told she couldn't do the manual work because her boots were a health and safety hazard.

The 47-year-old, from Paignton in Devon, claimed she was unable to wear flat shoes for medical reasons. 'Since I was a little girl I have only been able to walk on the balls of my feet. Even my slippers have two and a half inch heels.

'The long and the short of it is that I can't wear flat shoes because of a medical condition I have had since I was a child. 'It's health and safety gone mad. I was made to feel stupid'.

The mother-of-two had been sentenced to 80 hours community service after she was convicted of damaging a vehicle and failing to provide a specimen of breath.

Within 10 days she arrived at the probation service's community payback workshop in Torquay but was told her towering boots would be unsuitable for 'the vigorous work ahead'.

The probation service took her back to court last Friday asking that the community service order be revoked and replaced with another punishment.

Judges have adjourned the case until more detailed medical reports are made available.

Probation officer Heidi Randle said: 'She attended on the date required but was sent away because she was wearing heels. 'We tried to contact the GP [General Practitioner] in this case and received a letter which was non-committal and does not say anything specific about wearing flats.

Starting to smell a bit?

'It is a non-NHS [National Health Service] matter and, for a fee, he would write a more detailed report'.

Or does the doctor just want some dough?

Ms Stallard's solicitor John Darby said: 'My client has always lived on her toes. 'She has always worn heels and in her last job had to sign a disclaimer so she could wear high heels to work. She can't walk in flats.'

A spokesman for the Probation Service said: 'We take the health and safety legislation for offenders very seriously. 'Ms Stallard was offered protective footwear but refused to comply. We had no option but to return the order to court for magistrates to re-sentence as they see fit.'

Interesting. Here's the source.

Forget about flying first class. Men may soon be asking for "Martz" class. Why? Pilot Martz was flying a helicopter while receiving oral sex from a porn actress! How do we know this? It's on video! ("The video shows the woman disrobing before engaging Martz in a sex act while the San Diego landscape is passing by the [ahem] cockpit windows," as reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune.)

In his defense (in filings relating to his pilot's license) Martz "... said ... that the video showed he had his hands on the flight controls while receiving oral sex." Shazam! I guess if you're going to fight it, you have to offer something up. So what happened?

[The] judge has upheld the revocation of the license ...

Is there any future (in flying) for Mr. Martz?

[He] ... will have to reapply for his license next year when the revocation ends.

Did his past record play a part? Perhaps ...

Martz is a commercial pilot with a history of FAA violations, including two license suspensions and two revocations going back to the 1980s.

Furthermore...

Lawyers for the federal agency argued Martz's conduct was careless and reckless. His attention was diverted from flying; the woman's position prevented him from reaching flight controls; and she could have caused him physical harm that would have precluded him from operating the helicopter, according to Ian Gregor, an FAA spokesman.

And, um, you've read Martz's defense. [Also, "Martz has argued that since the 2005 incident, he served a suspension last year on an unrelated matter and had corrected any defects in his flying skills."] “Hence, careless and recklessness cannot be made as a finding of fact,” according to Martz's filing.

Um, yes, they can. The end? Not necessarily. "Martz can appeal the ruling to the NTSB."

Reverend Robert Whipkey was arrested in Frederick, Colorado for jogging naked (around the high school track) at 4:30 a.m. He was busted while walking home, still naked. So what was his defense to the indecent exposure charge? Per the Daily Camera:

Whipkey’s attorney argued his client’s actions didn’t satisfy an element of the indecent-exposure law that requires proof he “knowingly” exposed himself. Defense attorney Harvey Steinberg said Whipkey thought he was alone.

“Did he say, ‘Hey, look at me. I’m naked. Take a look at my genitals?’” Steinberg said. “When he realized for the first time that someone was out at 4:30 a.m., he immediately covered up.”

Do you think the defense worked? As Maxwell Smart would say, "missed it by that much." The jury found Reverend Whipkey guilty.

You'll have a hard time believing what this Minnesota man's fetish is, and that he will be spending a year in jail because of it. Per the Duluth News Tribune:

Christopher Neil Bjerkness is not a rapist, but a Duluth judge lectured him on Wednesday that unless he stops carrying out a bizarre sexual fetish of slashing exercise balls with a knife, he could some day find himself facing an indeterminate civil commitment as a sexual psychopath.

Bjerkness was sentenced in St. Louis County District Court to 21 months in prison, but as part of a plea agreement the sentence was stayed for five years of supervised probation, which includes a one-year sentence at the Northeast Regional Corrections Center, where he will enter a sex offender treatment program.

Why jail?

The judge said no one wanted to send him to prison at this time but that his behavior was a violation of privacy and his predilection for the fetish seemed to be escalating.

And after that year in prison?

If he doesn’t change his ways, the judge said, Bjerkness could wind up in prison and potentially face a civil commitment process.

Sexual psychopaths can be civilly committed after their prison sentences when the court determines they still pose a risk to the public. It can be a lifelong commitment.

If you're wondering why Mr. Bjerkness does this ...

In a July interview, [he] told the News Tribune that he couldn’t explain his fetish. He said he suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome, bipolar depression and cerebral palsy. That information was later confirmed by his adoptive parents.

Does anyone else think that outpatient therapy would have been appropriate instead of jail?

Bjerkness said his fetish for exercise balls has nothing to do with the people who work or exercise at gyms and he doesn’t believe he is a threat to anyone. He is unemployed, but said he has worked mowing lawns, as a dishwasher and as a telemarketer.

No, this wasn't his first conviction. In 2005, he was convicted of ... breaking into a facility and ... damaging inflatable exercise balls.

Oftentimes, some things you just have to live with, like, say, smells you don't like. Actually, if a proposed Honolulu bill passes, you might not, at least in Honolulu. The question is, how does one determine if an odor "unreasonably disturb[s] others or interfere[s] with their use of the transit system?" Hey, Axe disturbs me. I think that's reasonable. The stench of stilton cheese disturbs me. Is that "reasonable?" If this law passes, and I'm driving the bus, ain't gonna be any Axe-wearing, stilton-toting passengers on board.

Here are the relevant portions of this idiotic proposed law:

SECTION 5. Chapter 13, Article 3, Revised Ordinances of Honolulu 1990, is amended by adding a new Section 13-3.1 to read as follows:

Sec. 13-3.1 Activities prohibited on transit property.

(b) The following actions are prohibited in, on or in relation to, all transit properties. ... a person who commits one of the following acts in, on or in relation to transit property is in violation of this section and subject to the penalties listed in Section 13-3.3(b).

(13) Bringing onto transit property odors that unreasonably disturb others or interfere with their use of the transit system, whether such odors arise from one’s person, clothes, articles, accompanying animal or any other source.[emphasis added]

The penalty?

Any person violating Section ... 13-3.1(b), or aiding, abetting, or assisting in any manner whatsoever another person to violate any of such provisions shall, upon conviction thereof, be fined in an amount not exceeding $500.00 or be imprisoned for a period not exceeding six months or be both so fined and imprisoned.

Know what "disturbs" the Juice? This ridiculous, ultra-vague proposed law. Here's a link to the Bill.

Great. Just what the world needs - another reason for iPhone users to brag about their beloved phones. You can bet that Carnegie Mellon University student Can Duruk will be talking it up. He was mugged the other day in Pittsburgh. Per ThePittsburghChannel.com:

Police said two men flashed what looked like a gun at Can Duruk and demanded his wallet, PIN and iPhone early Saturday morning in the 400 block of Amberson Avenue.

Should have let him keep the iPhone, or at least turned it off. Why?

He got on his computer and tracked his iPhone using its global positioning satellite chip. The feature allows users to pinpoint the location of their phone if it's ever lost or stolen.

Doh!

Police officers tracked the three suspects to an Eat N' Park in North Versailles, where police arrested the men.

Police said Brent Potter and Bryant Rather will be charged with robbery, and Myron Knox Jr. will also face charges related to using stolen credit cards.

Duruk got most of his belongings back.

Here's the full story, including photos and a video.

Of course the Juice would never condone vandalism, but ... how about that artwork! No doubt the City of Ottawa will think twice before installing a sign with an empty panel. A skilled vandal took the opportunity to fill that empty panel with ... well ... look at the picture above and figure it out for yourself. To read more (a fair amount), here's the Ottawa Citizen piece on the sign.