Legal Juice

Working on a pig farm must really suck. But why take it out on the pigs? So PETA did some undercover video work at a pig farm in Iowa, resulting in 6 workers being charged with 22 counts of animal cruelty. What did the video show?

... Another worker admitted to sodomizing the animals with metal rods, shoving clothes pins in the eyes and genitals. He said he takes his frustrations out on them.

That worker better hope his cellmates don't try to give karma a little push ... Click here to read a little more.

I'll give you a hint. Tony Van, of San Francisco, California, went to court to find out what the jury decided in his auto theft case. Here's another hint, he didn't take the streetcar to court. (Please, no e-mails if it doesn't go to the courthouse.) His transportation to court: a stolen Lexus SUV! Here's how the police discovered this, per the Marin Independent Journal:

While Van was in the courthouse awaiting the verdict, two Civic Center employees on a break noticed some loose Yorkies around a Lexus in the parking lot. As they gathered up the dogs, several puppies were found unattended inside the Lexus on the sweltering day. Authorities suspect some of the dogs jumped out a window.

Sheriff's deputies were summoned and discovered that the 2005 Lexus had been reported stolen. Then Van came out to the vehicle, with the keys in his possession, authorities said.

Van was arrested, again. And the trial he was there for didn't turn out so well either.

Van's jury returned and convicted him in the case of the stolen [$125,000] Porsche [Carrera]. Sentencing is pending.

Doh! Here's the source.

Hey, I like crunchy foods, probably more than most folks. But I absolutely draw the line at glass. Yes, glass. Ms. Lynette Margaret Quessy thought she would get her husband to deal with his drinking problem by lacing his food with glass! As reported by news.com.au:

Her husband first noticed glass in a roll when he bit into it and chipped a filling on his tooth.

Er, uh, sorry.

A week later he noticed what looked like rock salt on some biscuits.

... he realised it was glass and again found glass in his sandwich the next day.

Wife makes lunch. Glass in lunch. What to do.

He started keeping his lunches in a freezer in his garage and eventually went to the police after discovering a container of crushed glass in the pantry.

AFT, dude. Did she own up to it? Yup.

[Ms. Quessy] admitted putting fragments of a smashed light globe in her husband's packed lunch five or six times in October and November last year.

Ouchee!

You may recall that, for several years, a google search of "miserable failure" brought up, as the first result, Bush's White House biography! (Google has since fixed this "problem.") Now, imagine that the pranksters were in Poland, and the target was the Polish President. Not so good for the prankster. Check this out, from Polskie Radio:

An unusual trial begins at a court in Bielsko Biała, southern Poland. A 24-year old man is accused of offending the president on the Internet. The man created a web positioning program, which linked the official webpage of the President of Poland to one extremely vulgar word. The webpage appeared first on the list of results after typing the obscenity in a search engine.

The police tracked down the man, who was using his own computer. He admitted to the charges. Now he faces up to three years of prison.

Wow. Not so much fun being a Polish prankster.

Of course, if you don't mind having your head handed to you ... As reported in The South Asian Post:

A woman chopped the head off a man who allegedly tried to attack her and then paraded the head through a market in northern India, police said. Police arrested the woman late on Thursday after receiving calls from frightened witnesses, said police officer Ram Bharose. The woman, 35, told police she had gone to a nearby forest to cut grass for fodder for her cattle when a man attacked her from behind. ''In a bid to save her dignity she beheaded him with a sickle,'' Bharose said, adding that the woman had bite marks on her neck and cheek.

Safe to say she'll never be attacked again ...

Perhaps this is the case with trauma doctor Martin Derusha, Jr. of Fort Worth, Texas. As to the doctoring, as reported in The Fort Worth Star-Telegram, per Mr. Derusha,

"At this point in my career, I have no malpractice (claims), no problems at all in medicine."

Maybe in medicine, but ...

Derusha was arrested in 1998 for driving while intoxicated in Navarro County.

In 2003, he was arrested in Tarrant County for his second DWI, pleaded guilty and was fined $700 and sentenced to 30 days in jail, according to state documents.

Derusha was arrested again in 2006 for a DWI in Parker County.

The medical board again placed him on a 10-year probation. On Jan. 27, he was arrested in Tarrant County for a fourth DWI, according to board documents.

So what happened?

Derusha said in an interview he voluntarily gave up his license, though the matter was under appeal. "At this point I don’t have the money to argue with them," he said. "How many battles can you fight at one time?"

Here's the source.

Would you rather pay your $7.45 Waffle House tab, or spend the weekend in jail? A 66-year-old Florida woman chose the latter, perhaps because she didn't have $7.45. Perhaps because she's ornery. Or maybe she's mentally ill? Maybe she was lit (she placed her order around 3:45 a.m.). Or maybe some combination of the above ... Regardless, per the TCPalm:

O'Neill finished ... and then left, telling the Waffle House employee she was going across the street to see a friend but would return shortly.

The Waffle House worker notified authorities after O'Neill, of the 100 block of Maple Street, refused to settle the bill.

When police arrived, an officer told O'Neill to pay up or go to jail.

She then told the officer that she was going across the street to see a friend but would return shortly. Really? No! Here's what really happened: blockquote> "O'Neill said she was not going to pay for her food," the report states. "I asked O'Neill again to pay for her food and she plain refused to."

O'Neill, who faces a defrauding an innkeeper charge, was released Monday from the St. Lucie County Jail on her own recognizance, a jail official said.

I'm thinking "time served."

Is it just me, or does "Friday" evoke positive thoughts for you too? For most folks, it's the end of the work week, and the beginning of the weekend. Well sir, an Italian court took a different view of "Friday." As reported by the BBC News:

Italy's top court has banned a couple from naming their son Venerdi (Friday), saying such a "ridiculous" name could expose the boy to mockery.

That's not all, though.

The judges also ordered that the boy be renamed Gregorio - after the saint's day on which he was born.

What the hell is going on in Italy? Do you think the parent should appeal? This was the appeal!

The Cassation Court upheld earlier rulings by lower courts that Friday was too reminiscent of the name of Robinson Crusoe's native servant in the classic shipwreck novel.

And what's up with my Italian brethren?

Gian Ettore Gassani of the Italian Association of Matrimonial Lawyers backed the ruling.

No me gusta. (Yes, I know that's Spanish.)Here's the source.

If there is a worse driver out there, I'd be shocked. As reported in The Hamilton Spectator, here are some highlights of Toronto resident Gloria O'Neill's driving history:

Her driver’s licence was suspended as far back as 1978, when she was just 21. In 1984, it was suspended again.

Still forbidden to drive, she got a new licence under a different name.

When that, too, was suspended, she got a third.

In 1995, according to parole documents, O’Neill rolled her car on Highway 401, breaking her back in two places. She was charged in March of that year with driving while under suspension and got 15 days in jail.

Five years ago, after she [ran a red light, and] dragged a pedestrian to his death in a crosswalk, a court banned her from driving for 10 years. [At the time of this hit-and-run, she was driving with TWO suspended licenses, under different names.](She was also convicted of perjury for lying at her bail hearing about her criminal record and multiple licence suspensions.) She only served 9 months for killing this man!

Before you get to angry (#!@*&%!), consider this:

Recently she declined repeated interview requests, saying she has consulted psychiatrists to cope with the trauma of the fatal crash.

“I’m trying to get over it,” O’Neill said when reached by phone. “I have a life and I’m trying to get on with it. I just want to live my life. “

Really? Trying to get over it? By ....

Not longer after that conversation, with five years left on her driving ban, O’Neill got behind the wheel of a Lincoln Town Car registered to her husband, another suspended driver.

On Aug. 28, two Record journalists watched as she drove the shiny red car out of her Toronto parking garage and disappeared down the street.

All told,

[Ms. O'Neill] has been involved in at least 15 collisions, often in rented or borrowed cars.

LOCK HER UP! Oh, and don't forget about her criminal history, unrelated to driving.

In 1979, under the last name Cloutier, she was sentenced to five years in prison for the beating and robbery of a 62-year-old man while she ran a Toronto brothel. According to media accounts of the trial, while the victim was being entertained by a 16-year-old prostitute, O’Neill and another man robbed him of jewelry, a camera and cash, before beating him so badly he was blinded in one eye.

To read A LOT MORE, click here.

The word "shit" is just that - a word. Certainly some folks prefer not to say it, hear it or see it, but, well, tough ... Seriously, this is still America, right? Tell that to Brian Barnett, a Green Party candidate in Arkansas. I don't know anything about his politics, and I will stipulate that his sign was an incredibly stupid way to try to attract voters. (Attention yes, voters no.) But there's this thing called the First Amendment ...

Barnett was ticked off that the Republican (Reeves) and Democrat (Betts) contenders for a state House seat would not debate him. So he was walking around Searcy, Arkansas with a sign that read:

Debate Brian! Chicken shit; 1. Kyle Reeves; 2. Monte Betts.

Free speech, right? Wrong. Per The Daily Citizen:

“You can probably get away with saying he’s chicken, but since he’s an alderman and a member of the city council, you can’t,” [Patrolman] Johnson told Barnett. “That word is not acceptable.”

WTF? Dude, I heard Putin is looking for a few good men. What did Barnett have to say for himself?

Barnett explained the sign to Johnson, saying it was designed to call attention to the refusal of Reeves and Betts to debate him.

“When you call someone chicken s*** that means they’re scared,” Barnett said.

So we're cool, right? Nope.

When Sergeant Tom McGee arrived, the three went next door to a tire shop and Barnett could be heard offering to change the sign. Within minutes, however, Barnett was arrested, charged with disorderly conduct, apparently for refusing to obey an officer.

UFB. And they cuffed him, and put him in the patrol car! But wait! Someone must have pulled out a pocket Constitution!

Within minutes, Barnett was taken out of the car, given a citation and was allowed to go free. The sign was returned to Barnett and he was told he could stand where he chose with the sign. Barnett, confused as to why he was allowed to continue displaying the altered sign, now showing an “X” over the “i,” was told the matter would be explained to him further at his Nov. 20 court date in White County District Court, Searcy Division.

Confused? I'd say perplexed. Those cops really need to get their shit together! To read more (a fair amount) and see the sign, click here.

It's often not pretty when relationships end. But what would these doctors do about the dog they both wanted? From the Bangkok Post:

A woman doctor shot at her boyfriend, who was also a doctor at the same hospital in Ubon Ratchathani province, after he refused to let her take care of their dog after the couple broke up.

Fortunately, the shots missed Supachoke Buddhacharoenlarp and hit his Jeep Cherokee instead. Dr Supachoke told police that he and Napawan Choppradit, 29, had been together for some time, but had decided to separate.

On Thursday, they met to settle matters, but could not agree on who would take care of the dog.

"Dr Napawan wanted to take the dog, but I refused. After arguing for a while, I got in the car, where the dog was being kept. She was angry and shot at us two times," he said. Dr Napawan has been charged with attempted murder.

Attempted murder! Sweet fancy Moses! I'm thinking this won't help her in canine custody court ...

Seriously, it sucks so much, a Michigan man couldn't resist. A car wash, a vacuum, an arrest... From The Saginaw News:

Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act. The suspect, whose name wasn't immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail.

Seriously, he said to shoot her, and she did. The charges? None. Here's the story from The Denver Post:

Authorities said a woman who shot her husband in the knee won't face charges because he begged her to do it. The Arapahoe County Sheriff's office said a 35-year-old woman accused her husband of being drunk and becoming violent during an argument.
She took control of a handgun during the dispute and claimed her husband begged her to shoot him and told her to 'finish it' after she fired a shot.

The sheriff's office said the 34-year-old husband was uncooperative with deputies before he was taken into custody and hospitalized. He was now being held at the Arapahoe County jail after his wife accused him of forcing her into the bathroom and holding a gun to her head before the shooting. He faces charges of felony menacing, third-degree assault and false imprisonment.

So maybe that's not exactly the defense employed, but it's damn close. As reported in The South Asian Post:

An Indian man escaped a possible death sentence for drug trafficking after his lawyer told a court it was impossible to walk with a stash of heroin in his underpants.Mumbai police alleged Dhirendra Kamdar was carrying two kilograms of the drug in four, 500-gram packets in his underwear when they picked him up as he walked from a guest house to get a taxi to the city's airport. But when the case came to trial, Kamdar's lawyer Ayaz Khan said it was impossible for anyone to walk one kilometre with such an amount of drugs concealed in his smalls, the Daily News and Analysis newspaper said.Khan demonstrated his theory to the judge using four identically-sized bags filled with sugar, and was acquitted of the charge on lack of evidence.

500 grams equals about 1.1 pounds. So the total was almost 4.5 pounds. That would definitely alter your gait.

Why would one think that this young South Carolinian dislikes cats? Per The Post and Courier:

He admitted to killing eight cats — slitting the throats of six kittens and bashing in the skulls of two adult felines.

Brutal. Anything else?

In addition to eight counts of ill-treatment of animals, Campbell faced a harassment charge stemming from threatening telephone calls and profanity-laced e-mails directed at his ex-girlfriend, then 15.

Anything else? Well ...

... the ex-girlfriend's mother, enumerated the horrors her family had observed during nine months they knew Campbell: squirrels killed by the dozens, ducks driven over with a pickup, a cat killed with a shotgun.

The sentence?

After weighing both sides [you can read the entire article - and there's a lot more - by clicking here], Circuit Judge Markley Dennis imposed a sentence not to exceed five years in the state's Youthful Offender program on one ill-treatment charge. That included 90 days of boot-camp-style shock incarceration, followed by supervised monitoring.

On a second charge, Dennis handed down five more years of probation to take effect after the Youthful Offender program.

I'd say he got off pretty easy.

In her wake, a woman from Lillington, North Carolina, left 2 injured men, one of them a police officer. Warning: Men, reading this will likely cause you to cringe. From The Daily Record:

Rebecca Arnold Dawson of Lillington was in court again on charges of assaulting Lillington Police Officer Ronnie Bass. Officer Bass tried to arrest Ms. Dawson after she allegedly attacked Kevin Russ, left him with one of his testicles partially removed, after a party shortly after Christmas in 2006. She recently pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault charges in the attack on Mr. Russ.

I'm not sure why the paper says "alleged" since she pleaded guilty. How did she "allegedly" partially castratie the man?

...with her bare hands ...

So it probably doesn't surprise you that her arrest did not go smoothly.

Assistant District Attorney Victoria Hardin said Officer Bass had his hands full when he tried to arrest Ms. Dawson. Ms. Hardin said Officer Bass used a flashlight to a detain Ms. Dawson because of an allergy to pepper spray. He repeatedly hit Ms. Dawson on her legs which Ms. Hardin said was necessity. "He used the flashlight because Ms. Dawson refused to put her legs in the car," Ms. Hardin said.

Officer Bass eventually had to put Ms. Dawson in leg irons to help control her.

She went on to describe a scene that resulted in Ms. Dawson kicking out the windshield of Officer Bass' vehicle once she was forced inside. She said Ms. Dawson made a clear effort to spit on the officer and did so, with a bloody mix going into his face. She also said Ms. Dawson used profane language during the entire arrest event.

And at the trial for assaulting the police officer, her defense was ... self-defense! How did that play?

"Self-defense is not available in this case," Judge Weeks told Ms. Dawson. "You are clearly not without fault in this case. It is also clear you were trying to do what you wanted and the officer was doing what was necessary to ascertain what was going on. Your injuries are clearly attributable to your conduct."

Tough talk indeed, but what was the result? No jail time! She pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor. Click here to read more.

An obstetrician named Roman Hasil has amassed quite a record, both on and off the job. As reported by The Courier:

Dr Hasil committed one of the drink-driving offences, on February 6 at McGraths Hill, just weeks before he was suspended by the NSW Medical Board after a damning report into several botched operations he had performed in New Zealand. He is under investigation in NSW over at least 10 serious patient complaints from his time at Lismore Base Hospital from 2001 to 2005.

There's plenty more:

Media reports in Slovakia last week also alleged that he drank on the job at two hospitals there as far back as the 1980s. [the 80s!]

Sally Hasil, who was married to Dr Hasil for 12 years, alleged that he was sacked from the Royal Hobart Hospital in March 1997 for not turning up to work because he was drunk but was rehired in November 1997.

Yesterday his ex-girlfriend, Sally Hock, who lived with him in Ebenezer, near Windsor, between January and June this year said that he frequently disappeared for days on drinking binges.

In May 2005 he was sacked from Melbourne's Angliss Hospital for drinking while on call.

In July he was sentenced to a 12-month good behaviour bond for obtaining money by deception after leaving without paying a $40.30 bill at a Chinese restaurant for a meal and a bottle of wine. He was also sentenced for assaulting a woman in Windsor the same day as the restaurant incident.

He had already been sentenced to a year's disqualification from driving and fined $250 in the Penrith District Court, on September 8, for high-range drink driving at McGraths Hill.

NSW court documents show that Dr Hasil was sentenced on September 29 in the Downing Centre Local Court for high-range drink driving in Cardiff in June and disqualified from driving for three years and put on a two-year good behaviour bond.

Whew. I'm out of breath! Here's the source.

Okay, maybe going to McDonald's when you have the munchies isn't such a bad idea. But let's say, for whatever reason, you try to pay for your food with ... pot! I guess it didn't occur to the hungry gent to sell the weed, and then buy some food? As reported in the Treasure Coast Palm:

A McDonald's cashier called 911 at 12:22 a.m. Monday after Shawn Alexander Pannullo, 27, of the 4800 block of Second Street, Vero Beach, wanted to trade some marijuana for food, according to the arrest affidavit.

The cashier from the McDonald's, located in the 5000 block of 20th Street, provided a description of Pannullo's vehicle. A deputy spotted the car and found marijuana inside, the affidavit said.

Pannullo was charged with possession of cannabis and posted $500 bail Monday.

So did he get the food?

The report didn't indicate what Pannullo ordered at McDonald's or if he paid for the meal through other means.

You call that a report? I demand more thorough police work! Here's the source (with a mug shot).

What did Canadian elementary school teacher Maria Pantalone do that resulted in her pleading guilty to assaulting a 12-year-old boy? Hint #1: She threw something at him. Hint #2: It was brown. Need another hint? Hint #3: It smells really, really bad. Yes, it was feces! And the kid was not even one of her students! Why did she do it? "I couldn't take it anymore. It was total, total frustration," she testified, as reported in the Toronto Star. The punishment? Zippy. No fine or jail time. She was suspended, but with pay. Her future as a teacher remains uncertain. Yes, there are several nagging questions: Where did she get the human feces? What could the kid possibly have done to drive her to do it? We're unlikely to find out because there is a publication ban to protect the minor's identity. Damn! Here's the article.

A strange crime as reported in The Hartford Advocate:

It's always surprising to see what lengths people will go to get away with petty crimes, even if it's for something as silly as ganking baby food. According to the Courant, 22-year-old Bristol resident Paul Bergeron allegedly tried lifting some of the instant baby formula Enfamil from a Shaw's supermarket on Sept. 26 in West Hartford. Police caught on in the parking lot when Bergeron was seen holding the formula in plain sight and yelling "Go, go, go!" to his getaway driver. They reportedly slammed into an unmarked cop car and Bergeron allegedly tried to get away on foot. He ended up in a fourth-floor laundry room, where he was allegedly punished by a police dog and hit with a stun gun. He faces robbery and assault charges.

Ouchee!

James Ramsey, a kindly Scottish granddad, bought a hamster for his grandkids. A few days later, it died. So Mr. Ramsey returned to the same pet store and bought a bird. Soon thereafter, the bird joined the hamster in pet heaven. As President Bush said in Nashville, Tennessee on September 17, 2002:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

Um. Okay. Anyway, that was one dead pet too many. Mr. Ramsey went to the pet store, but it was closed. So he kicked the door, and it opened. He got even with that dang pet store by stealing a snake which, per The Evening Times, "is believed to have been found by a shopper in a Partick Supermarket." Zoinks! How did they catch Mr. Ramsey?

[He] was traced through DNA found in the store.

DNA? From what? Someone has to fill in that blank for me. Here's the source.