Legal Juice

Gino Lee Breeze, a 20-year-old man from Wales, has a wee bit of a thin skin. Thing is, the gents he thought were joking about him, weren't. No matter, though. The wheels were set into motion as Mr. Breeze went to the home of one of the men he thought had a laugh at his expense. Then things got ugly. Per the North Wales Daily Post:

Breeze went to the [victim's] house and pushed his way in. He assaulted the man and then ordered him to lick his feet. "He filmed the incident on his mobile phone," [prosecutor] Evans said.

Humiliating, gross and weird.

Later that day Breeze returned to the man’s house and subjected him to a second ordeal. Mr Evans said Breeze got a knife and a fork from the kitchen. "While holding the knife to the man’s ear and the fork near his eyes he ordered him to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep."

The defense?

"He accepts his behaviour was despicable," said Mr Edwards [for the defense].

I guess it's tough to deny it when you've recorded the crime on your phone. The time? 3 years. Here's the source.

You can find the original report on this sadistic woman, Ms. Eunice Spry, here. She was just re-sentenced for the incredible abuse she inflicted upon 3 foster children over a 19-year period. Incredibly, the appeals court reduced her sentence for the abuse from 12 to 10 years. Here are some of the things she did. (Per 24dash.com, she was convicted of "26 charges, ranging from unlawful wounding, cruelty to a person under 16, assault occasioning actual bodily harm and witness intimidation when she threatened one of the children who was to give evidence against her.")

She forced sticks down the children's throats.

She made them eat their own vomit.

She made them eat rat excrement.

She would beat the children on the soles of their feet.

She forced them to drink washing-up liquid and bleach.

She even confined one girl to a wheelchair for three years after a car crash in a cynical bid to maximise compensation for the accident.

Since she is 64, Ms. Spry will likely be a free woman again. That's wrong. It's also wrong that she'll be in jail for less time than she tortured those kids. Here's the source.

A fart. Yes, the police charged Clarksburg, West Virginia resident Jose Antonio Cruz with battery for farting on a policeman! As reported in the Charleston Daily Mail:

South Charleston police said they were fingerprinting Cruz at police headquarters Tuesday when Cruz moved near Patrolman T.E. Parsons, lifted his leg and passed gas "loudly" on the officer, according to a criminal complaint.

Cruz then waved the air in the direction of Parsons, who was preparing a breath test machine nearby.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint said.

Charges this serious cannot go unanswered.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

"I couldn't hold it no more,'' he said.

A valid defense. So what happened to Mr. Cruz? Someone thought better of it (perhaps everyone), and the battery charge was dropped. But Mr. Cruz is still facing charges of drunk driving and obstruction. Here's the source.

It started with a really bad car accident. Melbourne, Florida resident Carl Lambert had to have his leg amputated at the accident scene. Things went from extremely bad to extremely strange. Per CBS12 news:

Lambert's Attorney says he was flown to the hospital, but his leg didn't follow.

What happened to it?

Right now, all Karl Lambert knows is what he was told: the leg didn't come with him and it was put in someone's freezer.

That someone was a firefighter.

St. Lucie Fire officials say the firefighter was not a rookie. Right now, she is still on the job pending the outcome of the investigation.

Mr. Lambert is left to wonder if his leg could have been reattached. Here's the source.

Maybe this won't help Johns everywhere, but 9 Johns in Pennsylvania had a real good day. The "Johns" I am referring to are the customers of prostitutes. What's the cause for celebration? As reported by lehighvalleylive.com,

Riegelsville's Craig Cardone and 8 others, accused of soliciting prostitutes, are getting their cars back. The should never have been seized in the first place. Easton's childish and petty ordinance only added insult to injury.

You can read more (very little) here.

Yup. A 20-year-old construction worker named Cory Bishop got a ticket for having "indecent" stickers on his car. Where are things apparently going so well that they have time to write tickets for such a harmless "offense?" Harrisonville, Kansas. Per the Kansas City Pitch, here's what the stickers said:

Imports are like tampons. Every pussy has one.

Spark plugs are for Pussies.

Stroke this Bitch.(with an illustration)

Bishop fought the ticket and ... lost. But ...

... the prosecuting attorney eventually threw out the charge against Bishop...

That's not it, though.

On September 5, the ACLU’s new chief counsel and legal director, Doug Bonney, fired off a letter to Harrisonville Mayor Kevin Wood questioning the ordinance. He cited case law that upholds citizens’ right to display language that others deem “vulgar.” He suggested the city at least amend the measure. “The current ordinance’s ban on display of ‘indecent’ signs on private property is unconstitutional and cannot stand,” Bonney wrote. “We would like to work with the City to resolve this problem.”

Here's betting that law won't be on the books very long. Click here for the source.

Ojai, California's loss is Ashland, Oregon's gain? Ms. Jennifer Moss, as reported by The Oregonian ...

...often pedaled a bicycle around Ojai in a hemp G-string and flower-shaped pasties to promote Earth-friendliness.

Live and let live, right?

Her most recent misdemeanor arrest was for removing everything but her G-string and pasties in front of parishioners leaving an Easter Sunday Mass outside a Catholic church in Ojai. Stunned parishioners thought she was naked, police said.

So that's why she left? Not really.

"Police attention was part of the reason I left ...But the number one reason I left Ojai is they are not conscious enough about the air, the soil and the water. Either you get it or you don't."

How are things working out in Ashland?

Moss said she confirmed with police that Ashland's laws do not prohibit public nudity. She celebrated by stripping off all of her clothes and doing a headstand right outside the police station. Then she rode her bike naked through the center of Ashland.

Here's the source.

Not only is it illegal for men to go topless in Easton, Maryland, it's illegal for "any person." What about babies? What about boys? Here's the law:

Sec. 18-9. Required dress, upper torso, penalty.

(a) It shall be unlawful for any person, whether male or female, to appear upon the streets, sidewalks and highways, or in any public building of the Town of Easton unless he or she is wearing a shirt, blouse or similar article of wearing apparel designed to cover the upper torso of said person.

(b) The penalty for violation of this Section shall be ten (10) days in jail or a fine of not more than One Hundred Dollars
($100.00). (Ord. No. 70,
1 and 2, 6/17/74.)

10 days in jail! Here's a link to the Town Code.

It's 2:30 a.m. in Hartman, Arkansas. Do you know where your 12-year-old is? No worries. He's just drinking your beer, with his 10-year-old friend, then taking the truck out for a spin. Why? Per the AP, to find a girl they met at the rodeo! Here's what happened:

The boys made it about 10 miles before the 12-year-old lost control of the truck... the truck hit and jumped over a guardrail, sending it careening 50 feet down a steep hill into a forest.

Incredibly, neither boy was seriously hurt. Clark James, who lives near the crash scene, was a little surprised when he heard someone banging on his door.

"I opened the door and the first thing (the 12-year-old) said to me was, 'I'm drunk and I had a wreck,'" James said. "I looked at him and I thought 'You're kind of young to be out drinking. And you sure shouldn't be driving.'"

The 12-year-old is facing drunk driving, plus a few other charges (like, maybe driving without a license?)

So if you're a neighbor of 15-year-old Ryan Bowen, you could always move. (One poor family did.) But what do you have to do to get the court to issue an ASBO (Anti-Social Behavior Order) against you? And to take the unusual step of naming you? (The ASBO imposes a curfew, prevents Ryan from associating with certain people, and imposes other restrictions on his behavior.) As reported in The Herald Express, here are some of the allegations the court heard before imposing the ASBO:

Police legal adviser Mr Quinn told the court that Ryan was a 'complete thug - and that's putting it mildly'. He added: "He may not yet be 16 years, but in his short life he has terrorised the people of Teignmouth and the surrounding area. He seems to have no redeeming features.

He targeted vulnerable neighbours, subjecting them to obscene and racial abuse, threatening their children and attacking their cars and homes.

Ryan went to one woman neighbour's workplace and subjected her to an abusive attack there.

Ryan fired a BB gun at people, pushed used condoms through their doors, walked over their cars, and jumped up and down on them.

One family had finally moved because they could no longer take the abuse and intimidation meted out by Ryan and his friends - only to be subjected to more abuse when they ran into the teenager in a Tesco store. "He was not satisfied to drive them out of their home. He still approached them and abused them," said PC Colley.

Ryan would ride a mini motorbike around the area until 11.30pm and midnight - kicking out at parked cars as he went.

Hoochiemama. It's no wonder that "Devon and Cornwall Police's legal adviser Peter Quinn told magistrates ...: 'Police and the authorities have become increasingly aware of what a force for evil this boy is.'"

Usually nothing. But there are exceptions. Per the Chicago Tribune:

A DeKalb lawyer was suspended for 15 months Thursday for arranging to have a female client perform nude dances for him in exchange for credit on her legal fees, a state commission said.

Here's how it started:

The relationship began in 2001 at Heartbreakers, a Compton, Ill., strip club where, after Erwin talked to an exotic dancer, both realized they had talked to each other over the telephone about some pending legal matters, according to the commission's report of the allegations.

You can read more (a bit) here. To read A LOT more, click here (the disciplinary commissions website), then click on the blue "R & D" in the middle of the page, then click on the third item (1/19/07).

About a month ago, Oscar Reynolds Jr. was acquitted of robbing the Liberty Bank in Jonesboro, Arkansas. Guess what Mr. Reynolds was doing this past Tuesday? He was robbing that same bank! Unlike the first time, where he was acquitted because he could not be positively ID'd, smart money says Mr. Reynolds will see the inside of a cell this time. Why? Per The Jonesboro Sun:

In a police interview Reynolds “admitted to entering the bank with a gun and committing the robbery.”

Doh! And ...

“There also was money found under the mattress in the bedroom where Reynolds was [hiding]. One of the bills found had a serial number that was logged by the bank as being stolen."

“A firearm was found in the adjacent apartment that matched the description of the gun that the suspect used.”

To read more (just a bit) click here.

So this woman, Briana "don't make me pounce on you" Pouncy, told her live-in boyfriend Joseph Boykins to do the dishes. He didn't. When she came home to a sink full of dirty dishes, it was on. They argued, and she told Mr. Boykins to leave. When he refused, it got ugly. Per the Fort Worth Star-Telegram:

... police say she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face [causing visible cuts] and swung at him with a sword ...

Yikes. She's out on $10,000 bond. Here's the source.

Should spitting really be criminalized? "Yes," said he powers that be in Cincinnati. Here's a law that was passed in 2006 as part of the "Neighborhood Quality of Life Unified Code"

Sec. 1601-27. Spitting in a Public Place.

No person shall spit upon any sidewalk, street, highway, alley, the floor of any bus used for public transportation, theater, railway or public transportation depot or platform or the floor of any school house, church or public building of any kind.

Whoever violates this section is guilty of spitting in a public place, a minor misdemeanor.

Is it ever enforced? At least once, anyway. As reported by kypost.com, a Ms. Davis was busted for "flipping the bird" and spitting on the sidewalk. But that's not why she was put in jail.

Police also found Davis had two outstanding warrants.

Oops.

It takes some doing but, yes, you can. A 63-year-old Floridian named Mary Davis found this out the hard way. She was pissed off when the police, who came to her house in response to a domestic dispute, arrested her son. As reported by the Florida Times-Union:

... [Ms.] Davis, attempted to leave in her car, according Baker County Sheriff Joey Dobson. When Davis put the vehicle in reverse and attempted to leave, a deputy standing in the open driver’s door of the van had to jump out of the way, Dobson said. Davis instead backed into a riding lawnmower, fell from the vehicle and was run over. The van then rammed into a Sheriff’s Office vehicle.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Not to worry, though. Her injuries "weren't life-threatening." Here's the source.

You might know the rest of the saying ("so shall ye reap"), and so might Pennsylvania dentist Thomas McFarland, Jr., but he paid it no heed. The "sewing" in this case was the dumping of about 300 used needles [and other medical waste] into the ocean, which washed up on the beach in Avalon, New Jersey - where McFarland owns a vacation home!

How did the authorities figure out it was McFarland? As reported in The Press of Atlantic City:

... using identifying codes on the medical debris, [investigators] zeroed in on a small number of dental practices where the debris could have originated... McFarland's was one of them.

The reaping?

McFarland was charged with two third-degree felonies [unlawful disposal of regulated medical waste and unlawful discharge of a pollutant] that each carries a possible prison term of five years and a total of $125,000 in fines, [State Attorney General Anne] Milgram said.

To read more (a fair amount) click here.

Is f-bombing on TV okay in Australia? Hell yes. Chef Gordon Ramsay, of "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" in Australia (and "Hell's Kitchen" in the U.S.) drops some serious f-bombs. Per The Daily Telegraph,

... celebrity chef Ramsay slipp[ed] in the f-word more than 80 times in one episode.

Shazam! Should the government get involved?

[Australian] Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi said the dropping of the "c-bomb" during a recent 9.30pm episode had gone too far.

Do not mess with a man with a bunch of knives, or the network that broadcasts his show.

Channel 9 hit back yesterday, saying 1.5 million viewers would know better than "one person in Parliament" about what they wanted to watch on TV.

So what does Senator Bernardi want? " ... a study of the effectiveness of the broadcasting code of conduct." Good luck with that, considering chef Ramsay's other program "The F-Word," was reviewed by the Australian Office of Film and Literature Classification, and received just an "M" for moderate coarse language. For more, click here.

If it sounds really crazy, it's usually true. As reported by the Los Angeles Times:

A 28-year-old man pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor count of animal cruelty in a bizarre New Year's Eve incident in which he leaped off the San Diego-Coronado Bridge with an Oceanside police dog biting his arm. The dog died in the fall.

Cory Nathaniel Byron also pleaded guilty Wednesday to felony counts of drunk driving and evading arrest. The incident began with Byron being chased for 45 miles by Oceanside police along Interstate 5. When he stopped on the bridge, a police dog named Stryker was sent to subdue him.

Byron, who has two previous drunk driving convictions, suffered a collapsed lung and other injuries. He faces four years in prison when sentenced Oct. 29 in Vista Superior Court.

Dang. Once again proving that truth is stranger than fiction ...

Despite having examined the patient several times in 2002 and 2003, the doctor failed to notice that his patient had a 32 pound cyst! What did he tell her? Per the Otago [New Zealand] Daily Times online, that ...

...she was overweight and prescribed weight-loss pills.

Wrong. Very wrong.

The woman, a 44-year-old mother of three, was eventually was taken to Christchurch Hospital in severe pain where the cyst was removed. The woman told The Press yesterday the cyst was cancerous and she needed an operation to remove her womb, ovaries and fallopian tubes.

What happened to the doctor?

[He] was found guilty of professional misconduct by the Health Practitioners Disciplinary Tribunal in 2006. He was censured and fined $22,500 but his name was suppressed to protect his practice and family.

Wow. That's it? I agree with the victim:

"I've lost my insides, but he's still practising," she said.

She felt ill that the doctor continued to treat patients who were unaware of the misconduct finding. The patient called for a radical change from the health system so the names of medical professionals found guilty of professional misconduct were made public.

Here's the source.

Before I tell you what Christopher Lucero told New Mexico State Police Officer Kurtis Ward, just remember one thing: Lucero was drunk! As reported in The Albuquerque Journal, Lucero said he was weaving because:

His passenger spilled his beer ...

Doh! There's more.

... next to Lucero, 31, was a half-emptied bottle of Corona in a cup holder, police said. And that wasn't even the beer he spilled. That was the one he had popped open to replace the one that had spilled on the floorboard while he went across three lanes of traffic on the interstate ...

What about the field sobriety tests? Lucero was too drunk to do them. And, this was his SIXTH DWI arrest. What is he still doing on the road?

Although you usually get what you pay for, that does not apply in this case. As reported by radio station CJAD:

A 34-year-old St Constant woman has taken her doctor before the College of Physicians disciplinary committee for her more than $5 000 breast augmentation which only lasted four days.

They weren't implants; Chantal Atkinson didn't want those. Instead, Verdun doctor Denis Bisson suggested a fat injection.

All went well, but over just four days, Atkinson watched as her breasts disappeared; The fat was reabsorbed into her body.

The fat transfer technique is not officially recognized by the College of Physicians, and its members are not allowed to perform it.

Bisson is facing a similar complaint from another woman. 44-year-old Manon Valade says her breasts "melted away like ice."

Snap! 5,000 clams, a procedure that couldn't have been pleasant, and nothing to show for it, except some fat where she didn't want it! Here's the source.

Our purse snatcher in Port St. Lucie, Florida, was a male cross-dresser, and apparently not a very good one. Why? He left his fake breast at the scene of the crime! And it was made with a condom filled with water, stuffed in a sock! The cops are dusting the condom for prints, and are doing DNA testing on 2 hairs they found on the sock. Here's a description of our man, as reported by tcpalm.com:

The assailant wore a short jean skirt, tube top and white flip-flops, weighs 130 to 140 pounds and is of thin build. He sported shoulder-length hair with maroon hair attachments in a dreadlocks style.

(The Juice wanted to give props to the reader who submitted this, but the reader wished to remain anonymous.) Here's the source, including a photo of the fake breast.