Legal Juice

Following up on yesterday's Legal Juice post, it appears that Captain Decker is an f-bomber himself, and an s-bomber! (The guy is probably an honorable public servant. Regular Juice readers know, though, that it irks the Juice when people make a big deal about so-called "bad" words.) As reported in the Galveston County Daily News:

In an apparent domestic dispute, Stephen Taylor complained to Dickinson police and a League City justice of the peace, accusing Decker of threatening him with profane language within earshot of Taylor’s freightened 9-year-old daughter. According to [Stephen Taylor's] affidavit, Decker and Taylor’s ex-wife were dating at the time.

A judge on Aug. 29, 2007, issued an arrest warrant for Decker on a Class B misdemeanor terroristic threat charge.

And the affidavit?

In the affidavit, Decker is accused of placing his head and arms inside Taylor’s truck, while his daughter, a passenger, had her head between her knees, crying and shaking.

Taylor’s affidavit states: “(Decker) was calling me a ‘chicken s—, mother f---. Get out and I will beat your ass.”

Holy shiznit! What happened to Decker?

A Galveston County assistant district attorney reduced Decker’s case to a Class C misdemeanor threat charge.

According to court documents, Decker paid $263, received 180 days’ probation and was ordered to have no contact with Taylor.

If you want to read more (a lot), click here.

Sure enough. Kathyrn Fridge, a 28-year-old Texas mom, as reported in the Galveston County Daily News,

went with her 2-year-old daughter and mother to Wal-Mart on Aug. 4 to buy batteries just in case Edouard left the county without electricity the following day.

As luck would have it (bad luck, that is), there were no batteries. Said Ms. Fridge to her mom:

“They don’t have any fucking more.”

Unfortunately, La Marque Assistant Fire Marshal Alfred A. Decker IV overheard Ms. Fridge and ... busted her! Can you believe that shit?

“All of the sudden he comes from around the corner two to three feet away and said, ‘You need to watch your mouth,’” Fridge said.

And then?

Fridge said she walked away to leave, but Decker told her she needed to come to his car and started to pull out his handcuffs.

Oh no you didn't handcuff this woman for dropping the f-bomb.

...she was led outside, handcuffed and then issued the citation [for disorderly conduct].

Damn. If you want to read more, including Decker's side of the story (from his Chief), click here.

Power corrupts, and absolute power ... So maybe Italian mayors don't have "absolute" power, but they recently obtained additional authority to enact new laws. Here are a few of them, as reported by Reuters:

In Eraclea, near Venice, building sandcastles is now illegal

In Capri, it is illegal to leave the beach area wearing a bikini.

In Forte dei Marmi, you may not cut your grass on the weekend.

In Eboli, you can be fined 500 euros (about $745 US) for public displays of affection in a car.

And in Novara, while 2 people can hang out in the park at night, 3 people hanging out is illegal.

How about this one?

Rodrigo Piccoli, 33, called national radio to protest after he was fined 50 euros for lying down in a park in the northern city of Vicenza to read a book. The mayor has since promised to drop the ban.

Buono idea , Signore Sindaco. (Good idea, Mr. Mayor.)

Australian Christian Marchesani has unambiguous contempt for speed cameras. Well, aside from the above photo, per the Australian Broadcasting Corporation:

... in January Marchesani sat on the fuel tank of his motorbike and rode past a speed camera twice with his thumbs up, reaching speeds of up to 130 kilometres an hour in a 70 zone.

The birds?

In March, he rode past another camera at 117 kilometres an hour while kneeling on his fuel tank and making obscene gestures [think middle fingers].

Maybe he just had a bad few months?

At the time of the offences he was riding under suspension and serving a suspended prison sentence for similar driving offences.

Um. Nevermind. Mr. Marchesani was sentenced to 10 months in jail. Here's the source.

If you have eyes, you've no doubt noticed that skirts have gotten pretty short lately. Some schools, like Monroe High School in Ohio, are stemming the upward creep of the hemline by instituting dress codes. As reported by WLWT.com, skirts should be no shorter than 3 inches above the knee. This is bad news for the school's cheerleaders. The school has determined that the cheerleading uniforms they issued violate their dress code! So the cheerleaders can't wear their uniforms on Fridays - game days - a tradition that goes back to ... a long time, okay.

Here's my solution - make an exception! And why is it okay for the cheerleaders to dress "inappropriately" at school rallies and sporting events? Here's the source, with a photo and video.

By now probably everyone has heard of a few stupid homeowner's association rules. But check this one out. Jim Greenwood lives in a suburb of Dallas, Texas called Frisco. More specifically, he lives in - hold your nose up, and speak nasally - Stonebriar Village. Now with his son just turning 16, old Mr. Greenwood wanted to get him a safe ride. So he dropped about $30,000 on a nicely appointed 2007 Ford F-150.

Now you're thinking - the Stonebriar Village Homeowner's Association does not allow trucks to be parked in driveways. You would be ... wrong! They just don't allow FORD trucks [to be parked overnight, that is, in a driveway]. If Mr. Greenwood had dropped the extra coin for a Lincoln Mark LT, that would not violate the rules. What's the difference? According to Mr. Greenwood, not much.

"It happens to come off the same assembly line in Dearborn, Mich., as the Ford F-150."

What is the penalty for this high crime? $50 each night he's cited for leaving the truck in the driveway overnight. It's Texas, so you can probably guess what Mr. Greenwood decided to do.

"We're doing the right thing now. We're parking it in the garage."

Yeah, that wasn't my guess either. I'm with Austin American-Statesman writer John Kelso:

I wouldn't call that doing the right thing. Greenwood should stick it to these snoots. After all, this is Texas. If you can't park a new pickup in your driveway in the Lone Star State, what's next? A ban on high school football, deer season and chicken-fried steak?

Click here to read the source.

A 26-year-old man in Northern Ireland has 104 convictions. His crimes include, per The Belfast Telegraph,

... a string of offences including burglary, theft, assault and other dishonesty type offences.

And, per the police, “every single time he was granted bail he broke the conditions.” After a recent arrest, he asked to be let out on bail, and ... got it! He was released ...

... on the condition that he resides at an agreed address, adheres to a strict curfew, does not enter Belfast in the evening, does not drink any alcohol and takes a breathalyser test any time police request it.

Of course, this time was different, right? Surely he learned his lesson.

When the Telegraph called at his address in Co Down on two occasions this week we were told he was not there — during the hours of a strict curfew.

An occupant at the house said she had not seen him and was unsure of his whereabouts.

Doh! You can read more (a lot) here.

All doctors know that it is unethical, at a minimum, to have a sexual relationship with a patient. And that, at a minimum, there is an appearance of impropriety when a boss has a sexual relationship with a subordinate. Well, as reported by Radio New Zealand, a family doctor in New Zealand had a sexual relationship with a patient, who also worked for him. (I'd wager that he's married too.) As you would expect, he's facing disciplinary proceedings. Here's the source.

That's what Heidi Dalibor, of Grafton, Wisconsin did. The result? After ignoring letters from the library and a court notice, per The News Graphic:

Still, the last thing she expected was a knock on her door by Grafton police.

"They showed me a warrant they had for my arrest," said Dalibor, 20. "They said they had to cuff me and I said, Are you serious? "

And then, on a sunny summer morning, she did the perp walk through her Arapaho Avenue neighborhood, where most families knew her as the girl who used to baby-sit their kids.

Slight overreaction. Here's the source, and an AP report.

Things must not be going well if you get to a place where you need to return a box of condoms for a refund. And, when the clerk won't give you a refund, you call 911, claiming that you were robbed. As reported in the North Jersey Record,

Kadien Jackson, 21, of Blauvelt, N.Y., told police he made the bogus report to help him get his money back. Instead, he was charged with making a false report -- a crime that carries prison time upon conviction.

"So, what are you in for?" Here's the source.

Bad things. The woman is 56-year-old Mary Ann Lamkin. The street is Island Shore Drive in Hamburg Township, Michigan. You have been warned. As reported by livingstondaily.com:

Mary Ann Lamkin, a former Hamburg Township trustee, already has two felony convictions for trying to impede traffic in her neighborhood and was on bond for new charges of disturbing the peace when she allegedly drove down the center of Island Shore Drive on July 31 as a neighbor came in the opposite direction.

The neighbor told authorities that he had to drive off the road to avoid a head-on collision.

Wo. This lady could be looking at some jail time. Here are some highlights:

[She] served two years of probation for attempting to resist police, whom she reportedly fought with Oct. 2, 2005, when they tried to stop her from blocking traffic on Island Shore Drive.

Lamkin also was placed on probation in 2006 for lying to police when she claimed a township sergeant assaulted her in 2005. The Livingston County prosecutor’s office exonerated the sergeant of any wrongdoing.

You already know she didn't learn her lesson.

Lamkin was released from probation May 21 after successfully completing all terms, which included requirements she not harass area residents and not block their access to their homes. However, May 21 is when the trouble began again, residents said.

Police Chief Steve Luciano and another officer were dispatched at about 3:20 p.m. July 8 to the Island Shore Drive area after multiple residents complained Lamkin was blocking the roadway, the only entrance and exit for residents in the area.

“She refused to move her car,” the police chief said in July. “She was very loud and profane, yelling and swearing at people trying to get to their homes.”

Holy Moses. You can read more here.

Okay, this not a new case, but it's too wacky to omit on that basis. The waitresses at the Panama City Beach Hooters were told that whoever sold the most beer would get a new Toyota. As reported by the AP,

[Hooters waitress Jodee] Berry, 27, won a beer sales contest in last May at the Panama City Beach Hooters. She believed she had won a new Toyota car.

She was blindfolded and led to the restaurant parking lot, but when the blindfold was removed, she found she was the winner of a toy Yoda Star Wars doll.

Ha ha ha. So incredibly not funny. Ms. Berry sued and ... won!

"She's satisfied with it," said [her] attorney, David Noll. He did say that Berry can now go to a local car dealership and "pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants."

Berry 1, Hooters 0 (though they did get a lot of publicity from it - and it's still making its way around the internet).

He crashed his Hummer into their - um, his - house! At about 2:30 a.m.! As reported by delawareonline:

According to New Castle County police, the tenants, a 50-year-old man and his 53-year-old wife, awoke around 2:30 a.m. to a loud crash at their home on Lute Court in the Harmony Woods development in Ogletown.

They looked outside to see "headlights shining into the bedroom" and quickly went to check on their 6-year-old son sleeping in a separate bedroom. They then heard what sounded like a person attempting to kick in the front door.

As the woman was on the phone, calling 911, Ott allegedly shouted, "Tell the police it's the landlord that tore up the building."

He then fled the scene, according to police, leaving a footprint on the front door.

Officers investigating the incident later went to Ott's home on Old Baltimore Pike and found his Hummer, damaged, with a pine branch lodged in the bumper.

Doh! What is the landlord, Mr. Ott looking at?

...charges of attempted burglary, harassment, leaving the scene of an accident, reckless driving, failure to report an accident and endangering the welfare of the three occupants of the home.

Whew. I'm out of breath. Here's the source.

Though it certainly wouldn't be the case, I guess not many legislators are eager to appear to be in favor of sodomy, flag-burning, cohabitation, or unmarried couples having sex. That's probably why, per the Virginian-Pilot:

The state code [still] declares it illegal for unmarried couples to have sex. Cohabitation, sodomy and flag-burning are still outlawed in the Old Dominion. And don't even think about unloading or loading oysters from a boat on Sunday. Tobacco warehouses must keep the Sabbath holy, too, although legislators have recently acquired enlightenment about Sunday sales at state-owned liquor stores in large cities.

You can read more here.

At least they can in Lake County, Florida. I was just kidding about Jackass. It was Jackass Number Two that a kid who appeared to be about 11 rented! And the issue was born.

The library board voted 9-0 against a policy that would prohibit kids under 17 from renting R-rated movies. Lake County commissioners are set to discuss the board's recommendation today.

So what's the reasoning behind the unanimous vote? Movie ratings are set by a private group, the Motion Picture Association of America. According to Assistant County Attorney Kimberly Williams, "It's an unconstitutional delegation of authority for the county to use those MPAA ratings as a guideline for obscenity." Her opinion is supported by several court decisions, including one by a federal judge in Minnesota last year.

Really. This happened to 16-year-old Ozark, Missouri resident Mace Hutchinson. Here's the story, from ky3.com:

A family from Branson wants answers about what happened to their son that left him hospitalized. Early Saturday morning, police found Mace Hutchinson, 16, underneath the Highway F overpass over U.S. 65. Mace ended up in intensive care at a hospital. His parents believe the actions of Ozark police officers contributed to his injuries and slowed doctors’ abilities to speed his recovery.

We called the police. My wife was afraid he was going to get ran over or hit,” said witness Doug Messersmith.

Messersmith and his wife were the last known people to see 16-year-old boy walking, shortly before their phone call to 911. “He looked a little agitated but, other than that, he didn't look to be falling down drunk or anything like that,” he said.

By the time officers arrived, the teen was off the 30-foot overpass, lying on the shoulder below along U.S. 65, with no good explanation as to how he got there.

“According to the doctors, all injuries are consistent with a fall,” said his aunt, Samantha. Mace's dad believes it was just that, a fall, not a jump. The question is why.

“They tested his system. He was clean of drugs and alcohol. We don't know why unless just being in shock and the whole thing in itself caused him to forget everything,” said Hutchinson. His aunt says he is undergoing major surgery for a broken back and broken heel. While he was lying on the ground, she wonders why Ozark police used an electric stun gun on him up to 19 times.

“I'm not an officer, but i don't see the reason for ‘Tasering’ somebody laying there with a broken back. I don't consider that a threat,”
His dad says the use of the stun gun delayed what would have been immediate surgery by two days.

“The ‘Tasering’ increased his white blood cell count and caused him to have a temperature so they could not go into the operation.”

“He refused to comply with the officers and so the officers had to deploy their Tasers in order to subdue him. He is making incoherent statements; he's also making statements such as, ‘Shoot cops, kill cops,’ things like that. So there was cause for concern to the officers,” said Ozark Police Capt. Thomas Rousset.

Police say although there are several unanswered questions; the reason for the use of a stun gun is not one of them. “It's a big concern for the officers to keep this guy out of traffic, to keep him from getting hurt,” said Rousset.

Mace was still in intensive care on Wednesday night, listed in fair condition. He was scheduled for surgery again on Thursday. The family, along with the Ozark Police Department, hopes someone will see this report and come forward with some information.

Does this add up to you? Here's the source.

Several parents have accused Cameron County (Texas) Justice of the Peace Gustavo "Gus" Garza of ordering them to paddle or spank their kids in court. Per The Brownsville Herald:

This morning, [Judge] Limas will hear the request for a temporary restraining order against Garza first brought last week by Mary Vasquez and her husband Daniel Zurita, who filed a lawsuit against the justice of the peace, a former state district attorney and special prosecutor.

They allege that Garza compelled Zurita to spank his teen stepdaughter under threat that she would be found guilty of a criminal offense and fined $500 for not attending school unless spanked.

But wait, there's more. Attorney Mark Sossi first filed a petition against Garza on behalf of 2 other minors.

"I wouldn't hit a child with a paddle, particularly one with physical problems," plaintiffs' attorney Mark Sossi told The Brownsville Herald late Tuesday. Sossi was referring to one of the two children, who suffers from a muscular-development birth defect and allegedly was spanked in Garza's court.

The child with the disability is a 14-year-old boy who used profanity toward a school bus driver. The second is a 14-year-old girl who skipped class, Sossi said, shortly after filing his amended petition in district court. The respective parents are Leroy Garcia and Rosa Valdez.

In his original petition, attorney Sossi states that:

"(Garza) has long engaged in this kind of corporal punishment under the authority of his office. Ten years ago when the defendant was a district attorney in Willacy County, he used the color and authority of his office to threaten criminal prosecution unless the parents struck their children with a wooden paddle he owned."

Oh, and ...

The initial petition alleges Garza directed Zurita to repeatedly strike his stepdaughter on the buttocks with a large, heavy wooden paddle fashioned from a thick piece of lumber in open court and in the presence of other adults and juveniles.

Zurita stated in an affidavit that, "I did not feel that I had a choice but carry out the orders of the judge. When I was finished, Judge Garza told me that I had not struck (my stepdaughter) hard enough..."

As you might imagine, these folks are seeking Garza's removal. Click here to read more.

In Hamburg, Iowa, the owner of Shotgun Geniez was charged with violating obscenity laws after a 17-year-old danced nude there. The defense? It's not a strip club. It's a theater, and is therefore exempt from Iowa's obscenity laws. The result? As reported in The Omaha World-Herald:

"The evidence proved beyond a reasonable doubt Shotgun Geniez is primarily a strip club that features nude dancing. The transparent efforts to appear to be a museum or art center are not convincing. Calling a business a theater does not make it so."

"Shotgun Geniez, nevertheless, meets the ordinary definition of theater."

The judge noted that the club has a raised stage with special lighting, chairs and tables arranged for people to watch the stage, and a dressing area for performers.

You can read more (a fair amount) here.

130 MPH on a motorcycle! As if that's not bad enough, per Sky News,

[Christopher O'Donovan] led police on a 23-mile high speed chase across the Wiltshire countryside, racing through villages and tracks and along several A-roads.

Witnesses say up to 17 police vehicles pursued O'Donovan before the police helicopter took over the chase.

How did they catch Mr. O'Donovan?

He was eventually arrested after returning home.

Mr. O'Donovan was sentenced to 15 months in prison, at least half of which he'll probably have to serve. Here a few more egregious speeding cases from the United Kingdom:

In 2002 motorcyclist Lee Beddis was caught on a speed camera travelling at 155mph. He was sentenced to 180 hours community punishment and a 12 month ban. Drivers on the A465 in Wales said they saw a 'blur' as he passed, and a traffic officer said the pressure from the bike shook his patrol car.

The following year Andrew Osborne was jailed for 28 days after overtaking a lorry at 157mph on an A-road near Buckingham.

How do you get free porn? Well, here's what a guy in Longmont, Colorado tried, as reported by The Longmont Times:

... the man provided a badge and a business card without a name, and told the clerks he was a detective with the Longmont Police Department’s “age verification unit,” which does not exist. The man claimed he would verify the ages of the performers in the videos ...

Ah, yes. The old Ronald Reagan favorite: "Trust, but verify." The Longmont Police are now attempting to find this good samaritan ... Here's the source.