Legal Juice

Even if you are a judge. And even if he is your friend. Judge Maynard Hamilton, Jr. of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania was not real happy when Sergeant Buser did not give him the paperwork he requested. A couple days later, they were at a party, when Sergeant Buser asked the Judge if he had received a check he dropped off for a golfing trip. Here's what happened, according to court documents (as reported by Brett Lovelace of the Lancaster Intelligencer Journal)

"Yes," but when Buser approached to shake hands, Hamilton said, "I have had enough of your (expletive). I am not going to take any more. Let's go downstairs and take care of this man to man. I'm gonna kick your ass."

Buser followed Hamilton, but he said he wanted to talk, not fight.

Hamilton demanded Buser remove his glasses and butted his chest against the sergeant's.

Before Buser could remove his glasses, Hamilton punched him in the face, knocking off the glasses. Buser picked up his glasses and told Hamilton he would have to pay to replace them. When Buser threatened to call police, Hamilton said, "This was a mutual fight, and it would not do any good to call the cops."

Hamilton then punched Buser again in the head.

Buser was knocked to the ground, and Hamilton walked away.

Hamilton returned to the party and told Buser's wife she could "go pick your piece of (expletive) husband up off the floor."

Are you surprised his nickname is "Maximum Maynard?" (I made that up.) So what do you think happened to the Judge?

Continue reading "Maynard, Maynard, Maynard. You Know You Can't Go Hitting A Police Officer In The Face!" »

Earlier this month, the North Carolina Legislature honored Dr. Bob Crummie as "doctor of the day." In addition to some interesting "deep thoughts" (see below), Dr. Bob has had a few run-ins with the law:

In 1997, he was convicted of driving while intoxicated. (Okay, that was a while ago.)

In March 2006, he was charged with driving while intoxicated. He had an open bottle of wine in his coat pocket. (Big-ass pockets, or one of those wine-o miniatures?)

In 2007, he was charged with another driving while intoxicated.

As for Dr. Bob's "deep thoughts,"

many of them are contained in his book "Dr. Bob's Grocery Store Medicine and Healthy Life Anecdotes," which he handed out, for free!, to the North Carolina Legislators. Here are a few tidbits:

"There is no such thing as a homosexual. The Gay Movement is a hoax. Individuals who act out homosexually are at best very neurotic and at worst psychotic. Most of them are character disorders."

In what he describes as "one of my funniest stories," Crummie tells how he once put a stop to homosexuality at an N.C. prison when, as superintendent, he threatened to give electric shock therapy to anyone caught in the act. With several inmates present, he demonstrated the procedure on one inmate who was severely depressed.
"We don't hear about the successful lobotomies."

"Schizophrenia is linked to rejection by one's mother."

Certainly everyone is entitled to their opinions. But I'm guessing Dr. Bob will be losing a few patients, and, sadly, probably gaining a few new ones. He's got bigger worries, though, since the North Carolina Medical Board has charged him with unprofessional conduct. The hearing is on August 15.

It would be harder to make this stuff up than to tell you about it. Yes, Mr. Imran Khan, or Bristol, England, filed a claim against his employer for offering wine as an incentive. Mr. Khan, a Muslim, claimed that he was a victim of racial and religious discrimination because Muslims may not drink alcohol. He asked for damages for "hurt feelings" before the employment tribunal. The result? A unanimous raspberry. Said Chairman Clive Toomer:

A teetotal non-Muslim would have been in precisely the same position as the claimant. In those circumstances it did not seem to us that the claimant could show that there was, in fact, less favourable treatment than would have been afforded to such a hypothetical comparator.

Indeed. You can read more, but not much, here.

Yup. As Miami Herald reporter Fred Grimm so artfully described it:

Jenne, as sheriff and chief jailer in Broward County, has launched a crackdown on self-abusing miscreants. It's no longer enough to warn hairy-palmed drooling deviants that self-indulgence risks stunted growth, blindness, sallow skin, slackened jaws, amnesia, shrunken testicles, impotence and, for Catholics in particular, eternal damnation. Jenne wants jail time.

So, Terry Alexander, who is serving a 10-year sentence for robbery, was charged with masturbating in his cell. The case was tried, before a jury, who convicted him. Alexander got 60 days tacked on to his time. What a brilliant use of resources. If Sheriff Jenne keeps this up there won't be any revolving door, because nobody will ever get out!

There's a legal doctrine in some states called social host liability. In a nutshell, it means if someone gets ripped at your bar (or house), you may be liable if that person hurts someone in a car accident. Mr. Dube really tried to stretch the doctrine. Bhoge and three of his buddies had been drinking most Friday nights for about a 1 1/2 years. One night, Bhoge was trashed, drove the wrong way down a one-way street, and seriously injured Mr. Dube. Dube first sued Bhoge, and got an undisclosed amount (probably not much). So then Dube sued the bar (who was dismissed) and some of its employees (also let out of the case), and BHOGE'S THREE DRINKING BUDDIES.

Why would the drinking buddies be liable? Social host liability! Dube's lawyer argued that

Lanphear was a social host because he entertained the others by paying for the drinks, and alternatively that the foursome was essentially a "drinking club" in which each effectively hosted the others.

The result? Drinking buddies everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief. The suit against the drinking buddies was tossed. Although friends should look out for each other (and be concerned about the harm a drunk-driving friend can cause to others), it's another thing to hold the friend legally responsible for his buddy's stupidity.

There's no doubt that Grosse Point, Michigan high school choir director Ellen Bowen (yes, that's her picture) is very accomplished. In her 20+ years at the school, her students have won three national championships and many state awards. They have also performed with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. Then what's the problem? Man, does this lady have a temper! Never mind that she was just convicted of assault for chasing a former student, in her car, and then bumping the former student's car. (She got community service and anger management counseling!) Here are some of the incidents that were either confirmed by the school, or that were in her school records:

She suggested at a rehearsal that she would "bring in a shotgun to take out" misbehavers.

She threw a stapler at students.

She was suspended at least three times for swearing at students.

She was reprimanded at least three times for swearing at students.

She suggested to a class that a sick student was pregnant.

Apparently winning is everything. How else to explain getting away with all of that? But the assault charge may tip the scales because it triggered an automatic review before representatives of the board of education. That hearing was yesterday. Bowen will find out in 30-45 days if she will lose her teaching certificate. Since she's suspended, maybe she can get a jump on that anger management class.

They can in Lake County, Florida. I was just kidding about Jackass. It was Jackass Number Two that a kid who appeared to be about 11 rented! And the issue was born.

Last week, the library board voted 9-0 against a policy that would prohibit kids under 17 from renting R-rated movies. Lake County commissioners are set to discuss the board's recommendation today.

So what's the reasoning behind the unanimous vote? Movie ratings are set by a private group, the Motion Picture Association of America. According to Assistant County Attorney Kimberly Williams, "It's an unconstitutional delegation of authority for the county to use those MPAA ratings as a guideline for obscenity." Her opinion is supported by several court decisions, including one by a federal judge in Minnesota last year.

Remember Chuck Barris from The Gong Show? What he wouldn't give to be able to gong his Trump Plaza neighbor Dorothea Wietzner out of the building. According to Mr. Barris, here are some highlights:

Said Dorothea to Chuck: "What you need is your head cracked open. I'll get you, just you wait ... I'll get you, you cockroach. You faggot. Your wife's mother's a slut."

Per Chuck: "The first thing she ever said to me was this: 'You better shut your door quietly or I'll sue you... Her screaming has changed from just cursing and shouting to yelling vile obscenities and death threats.

She berated Chuck for marrying a non-Jew.

She accused Chuck of spying on her, and as evidence, cited the fact that they both use the same venereal disease doctor!

When asked if she threatened to slice off part of Chuck's body, she answered: "I might have said that. You know, I'm honest, because I was in a state of paroxysms of hatred for this man who had copied ideas of mine from my telephone conversations. He used my doctor when I had herpes.

Zam! Chuck's calls to the police resulted in 2 involuntary confinements for Dorothea (one for a day, one for a month). The Trump Plaza board of directors initiated eviction proceedings in 2003. Four years later, the case was dismissed - get this - because the board improperly served a "notice to cure" on Dorothea - in 2002. It was sent to a PO box, not to her apartment!

What now? The board has to start all over again! This time, though, if successful, Dorothea could be out by early 2009 - though I wouldn't count on it! (You can read more here.)

If you missed it, check out yesterday's entry regarding some strange "justice" in Eutawville, South Carolina. Here's some more of that there strange justice. This is the side of the story of three fellas who were pulled over by the Eutawville police:

They had finished a day of fishing, and were driving through Eutawville, with a boat in tow. Big mistake - driving through Eutawville, that is.

The Eutawville police pulled them over, they were told, because of a broken taillight on the boat.

The officer said he smelled marijuana. (Good one!) The driver said "I don’t smoke marijuana.” Said the officer, "You’re lying.”

The police then searched the car for almost 2 hours, and told them they found a marijuana stem in the truck. (A twig?)

All three men were strip-searched.

Strip-searched? What about the cavity search? Wonder what they do to real alleged criminals? The driver got a ticket for the broken taillight, and one of the passengers got a ticket for marijuana possession (the police said they found a marijuana (sunflower?) seed in his pocket). What happened to the stem? Said Police Chief Russell Parker: “We don’t strip-search people, ma’am."

I guess we'll find out, because these three fellas are filing a civil suit. (You can read more - about 2/3's of the way down, here.)

Thomas Anderson, after working a 12-hour shift, was driving home in his elevated Ford Crown Victoria (not pictured at right), when he was stopped and ticketed. Seems the height of his car was illegal. Anderson didn't agree, so he requested a jury trial. And that is where the trouble began. On the day of trial, Anderson's was the only case (he'll tell you why he thinks so in a minute). Anderson made a huge mistake, as you'll soon see, in not having a lawyer. He was found guilty, which he does not now contest. The problem is, that for this violation, the maximum sentence is only a $50 fine - BUT JUDGE CONNOR SENTENCED ANDERSON TO 3 DAYS IN JAIL! Anderson was vindicated, but not after he served the 3 days in jail. And the reason for the jail time? According to Anderson (who was coming from his mother's house when he was stopped!):

I asked for a jury trial and the judge became very upset that I requested the same. The jury found me guilty. Judge Connor gave me 30 days in jail suspended to 3 days and payment of $175. I was given no right to appeal and was taken straight to jail and served 3 days. I ended up losing 2 days from work without pay. ... I do not contest being found guilty. I object to the judge sentencing me in excess of what the statute requires.

Said Judge Connor?

He came to court without an attorney. He asked for a jury trial. I had never met the man before the night of the trial. If he would have said he would correct the vehicle, the case probably would have been thrown out. The man showed no remorse, didn’t care, didn’t say ‘I will correct it’ or nothing.

Ninety percent of the traffic violations, the penalty is a certain fee, say $100 and assessment fees bring it up, and 30 days in jail or both. Most all of the traffic violations are that way. When they found him guilty, I mistakenly sentenced him to $175 because in my mind as a judge, he had no earthly intention to correct the problem with the vehicle. I sentenced him to three days in Orangeburg and that is where the rub is. That is my mistake. This law doesn’t give any time. This has gone into appeal and Attorney (Glenn) Walters won the appeal. Not the guilty part, but based on the sentence, they threw it out. He still got his vehicle like that.(emphasis added)

So watch out if you get a ticket for one of the ten percent of traffic offenses for which Judge Connor apparently doesn't know the sentence! (For more on this, click here.)

So British hero policeman Andrew Shovelar is on trial for attacking his former girlfriend, a trial which was only supposed to take 8 days, but had wrapped its third week. What's the problem, you're wondering. Well, you see, several of the jurors have to go on holiday. What's a judge to do? Not cancel the trial after 3 weeks, right? Wrong! HE DITCHED THE TRIAL SO A JUROR COULD GO ON HOLIDAY! Said Judge Heath:

It was made plain that she would be on the plane to Portugal.

It is the only realistic decision I can take in the circumstances.

No, my right honorable friend, it is not. It's asinine! Now you know how the juice feels about jury duty. This is insane. What an incredible waste of time and resources! And the new trial? It's set for 6 weeks in January 2008! (To read more, click here.)

Canadian Arnold Sanderson worked at a dairy plant for 12 years, and left the job 20 years ago. Ever since, he has held a grudge against several former co-workers, who he accused of tormenting him and "teasing, pranks, that sort of thing." Sanderson became so obsessed with his former co-workers, especially Shawn Smith, that he never recovered. Since leaving the dairy, he has not had a full-time job.

In a nod to the more than 200 million guns in the U.S., ten years after he left the dairy, Sanderson said "if I lived in the States, I would be up for murder." Well, the NRA ("Guns don't kill people, people kill people.") must just love this case.

Last year, Sanderson was taking his dog to the veterinarian when he happened to see Smith out jogging. Sanderson crossed into oncoming traffic, drove up on the sidewalk, and struck and killed Smith.

Sanderson plead guilty, and was sentenced to life in prison, though he is eligible for parole in 10 years. (To read more, click here.)

Spirit Airlines pilot Wayne Giles, age 46, was not exactly an ideal neighbor. Here's a sampling of what he did to his neighbors over a six-year period:

throwing shit [really], old fruit, and eggs at an elderly couple's home;

sending anonymous letters, for more than 5 years, graphically detailing sex acts.

So what is his defense? It was a prank, and they knew who was sending the letters! Not funny, say his elderly neighbors, the sex offender down the street (who for some reason only warranted one letter), and a 26-year-old female neighbor. And they had no idea who was sending the letters all those years.

So what's the possible penalty? A felony conviction (which would result in the loss of his pilot's license) and 0-17 months in jail. (He could face 5 years if the Judge finds cause to exceed the sentencing guidelines.) Said prosecutor Lisa Gorcyca:

There were multiple credible threats to both families. He scared them for years, but the maximum is only five years. It doesn't seem fair, that for 6 years he terrorized his neighbors, but the maximum penalty by law is five years.

Oh, and Giles, who has no criminal record, is out on bond, with a condition: he can't return to his house, except to pick up his stuff! (You can read more here.)

Truth. The Atwoods owned their Louisiana home outright since 1968. It was tax exempt, but that changed. Only problem is, the couple's address changed when a 911 system was put in place. So the $1.63 tax bill sent to them in 1996 was returned to the Sheriff's Office, which put the house up for auction at a tax sale, and sold it for $1.63, plus 10 cents interest, and $125 in court costs. All this, despite the fact that the Atwoods are right there in the phone book!

This all happens without the Atwoods even knowing about it! They had a $90,000 offer for the house in 2002, but couldn't sell it because of litigation surrounding the tax sale. (The Atwoods are trying to get it nullified.) Then Katrina hit, causing serious damage to the house. Well, the Atwoods won at the trial level, and on appeal, but the case is being appealed to the Louisiana Supreme Court. Meanwhile, Ms. Atwood lives in a FEMA trailer in front of the house, while her 71-year-old husband, who is on a respirator, lives with relatives. They didn't have insurance, and don't qualify for programs to fix the house because they don't have clear title. $1.63!!! If you want to read more, click here.

So the Largo, Florida police respond to a call about a problem at a bar, and they find Dana Shelton. But there's no problem, and they tell Shelton to move along. Unless you are completely plastered, you realize this is a good thing. Not Shelton. He called 911 - the Largo police - to report that he was "surrounded by Largo police." A definite head-scratcher. Said Largo Sgt. Melanie Holley:

Our officers were standing there scratching their heads. He called, standing there in their presence. It's one of our 'truth is stranger than fiction' cases.

Just like I said, an official "head-scratcher." Shelton got hit with misuse of 911, a misdemeanor. Thanks to Mr. Shelton for providing today's Juice!

The Juice thanks Cindy Hill for submitting this story.

I read this story and thought, hmmm, this sounds familiar. In a nutshell, 25-year-old Illinois resident Louis Peacock told his 69-year-old dad he was possessed by demons, and that he wanted his dad to kill him, and then cut off his head! So Louis took the pills, and when dad couldn't find a bat, he conked Louis on the head with a crow bar. This woke Louis up! He then told dad to leave. Dad did - and went to the police. Louis lived, denied that the whole thing ever happened ("A" for loyalty, anyway), and wouldn't allow photographs of his injuries to be taken.

Meanwhile, dad plead guilty to aggravated battery, with a 30-day jail sentence, 30 months conditional release, and court costs. Not so fast, said Judge James Stewart, to dad's lawyer:

This kind of behavior is so bizarre. Your client is nuts and needs a mental health evaluation.

Judge Stewart refused to accept the plea, pending the results of a mental evaluation. You can read more about this here.

If you go into the right bathroom in Japan, you will find an envelope with a note and a 10,000 yen ($81 US) note. So far, the "mystery lavatory man" has left such a gift in 425 bathrooms throughout government offices across Japan. The reason is unknown, although the notes provide a clue:

Enclosed is a gift of ¥10,000. Please use this for your ascetic training and devote yourself to good deeds, keeping a pure heart and not holding evil thoughts in your precious human heart.

Unfortunately for the mystery man, the money is not being spent that way. Authorities believe all of the money has been turned over to them. If the money isn't claimed, it goes to the municipality where it was found. If you want to read more, click here.

Student Justin Layshock, apparently not to fond of his former principal, Erick Trosch, create a MySpace profile that was, as Judge McVerry described it, "lewd, profane and sexually inappropriate." The Hermitage School District suspended Justin and moved him to an Alternative Education Program. The Layshock's filed suit in federal court, claiming that Justin's MySpace profile is constitutionally protected speech. The school district claimed that it has the authority to discipline Justin because his acitivities, even though not done on school grounds, were disruptive of the school environment. So who do you think won? (See below.)

Justin! Because the school district did not show “a sufficient nexus between Justin’s speech and a substantial disruption of the school environment.” Next up, a trial to determine the amount of damages Justin is entitled to. Oh, one other little thing. Principal Trosch filed a defamation suit against Justin (and the alleged creators of 2 other less than flattering profiles).
To read more, click here.

I get pissed off when people whine about jury duty, or try to weasel out of it. Daniel Ellis of Cape Cod, Massachusetts has taken "attempted jury service avoidance" to a new level. Said Judge Gary Nickerson:

In 32 years of service in courtrooms, as a prosecutor, as a defense attorney and now as a judge, I have quite frankly never confronted such a brazen situation of an individual attempting to avoid juror service.

Snap! So what did Ellis do to evoke such a strong statement from Judge Nickerson? Check out this exchange:

Judge: You say on your form that you're not a fan of homosexuals.

Ellis: That I'm a racist. I'm frequently found to be a liar, too. I can't really help it.

Judge: I'm sorry?

Ellis: I said I'm frequently found to be a liar.

Judge: So, are you lying to me now?

Ellis: Well, I don't know. I might be....

Judge: I have the distinct impression that you're intentionally trying to avoid jury service.

Ellis: That's true.

Then Judge Nickerson did what any judge in that position should do - he had Ellis carted away to a cell for the rest of the morning! He may yet be charged with perjury.

Although we seem to live in a time where the law is routinely ignored (warrantless wiretapping anyone?), Vermont? Yes, the state of lawlessness has hit Vermont. Seems the Health Commissioner is required by law to be a doctor. Not surprisingly, there is an exception for an "acting" Commissioner, as in "the person is only occupying the position temporarily, to ensure continuity" until so

Well sir, Nurse Sharon Moffat, a/k/a Health Commissioner Sharon Moffat, has been "acting" the part since June 2006! Nothing against Ms. Moffat, but certainly the law was enacted for a reason. (By the way, a bill introduced to change it did not even make it out of committee!) No sweat, said Vermont's attorney general, who stated that he doesn't know of any time limit on how long someone can retain the "acting" title. So much for the law, at least the spirit of it anyway.

After 10 years of marriage, some couples need to try something to reignite their passion. But this? Arthur Friedman told his wife that he wanted to watch her have sex with other men and women. So she did, and decided to go German - German Blinov, that is, one of the people involved in this hoped-for marital jumpstart. The feeling was mutual. Blinov, who was also married, divorced his wife. Natalie Friedman kicked Arthur to the curb.

"As you sew, so shall you reap" is only partly true here, because Arthur turned around and sued Blinov for alienation of affection, claiming that he caused the Friedman marriage to end! Scary thing is, the jury bought it. The judge then awarded Arthur the perfectly logical sum of $4,802 (huh?). Seeking revenge, finding humiliation. To read more, click here.

4real. Yes, for real. Pat and Sheena Wheaton named their son "4real." Only one problem - in New Zealand all children must be registered with the government within two months of their birth. When the Wheaton's registered 4real, it was rejected because names beginning with numbers are against the rules! But wait - the government is in negotiations with the Wheatons. Said Registrar-General Brian Clarke:

The name has not at this stage been rejected. We are currently in discussions with the parents ... to clarify the situation.

Should negotiations fail, 4real Wheaton will go in the books as "Real Wheaton." For real. (You can read more about this here.)

Kathryn Smith, 49, of Connecticut, had been dating Stephen Schnell for about 4 years. Schnell knew Smith and her 20-year-old son Nicholas Taylor were not doing too well, so he often gave her cash, took the two of them out to dinner, and bought Smith cigarettes. How did Smith and her son repay him? By hiring a hit man to kill him!

The crazy thing (aside from the fact that the up-front payment to the hit man was $50!) is that Smith somehow thought she would get $100,000 from Schnell's retirement plan - which he didn't even have! Fortunately, the would-be hit man, an old flame of Smith's, went straight to the police. Smith pled guilty to conspiracy to commit murder. Her son entered an Alford plea (a weasel's way of pleading guilty).

How does Schnell feel about his former girlfriend? "I'm pushing for the 12 [years - the maximum sentence]; she deserves it. For everything I did for her and for her to do that to me, she deserves every day. Sentencing will take place in August.

To read more, click here.

Dr. Byron Timberlake, an otolaryngologist in Front Royal, Viriginia, was found to have sexually molested 6 young male patients. His sentence - PROBATION. Oh, and he couldn't see patients under 18. A few year later, his probation was lifted, as were the restrictions on his license. He's been practicing in Virginia ever since. Regarding the sexual assaults, to read the "findings of fact and conclusions of law" in awful detail, click here. To view Dr. Timberlake's profile on the Virginia Board of Medicine web site, click here. Where was the justice for these boys?

From the case of Salinero v. Pon, 124 Cal.App.3d 120, 177 Cal. Rptr. 204 (1981):

The owner of a six-story apartment building hired an independent contractor, the plaintiff's employer, to wash the windows of the building. No safety devices - from which window washers could be suspended - had been installed on the building. So the owner and the contractor agreed that the windows would be washed by means of a ladder extended over the edge of the roof from which the workers would be suspended in a boatswain's chair secured to the roof by a weighted sand bag. Brilliant! While the plaintiff was suspended in the chair some 35-40 feet above the ground, a fellow worker mistakenly removed the sand bag anchoring the plaintiff's chair, causing him to fall and suffer injury.

Doh! You can read the entire opinion by clicking here.
[13 pages!] Spoiler alert - Salinero, the falling guy ... [see below]

lost!

That's what Natasha Riley, not pleased with the way things were going for her client, said to Judge Mangano in the Brooklyn Family Court during a custody proceeding. But Judge Mangano would have the last laugh. Because most lawyers aren't dumb enough to address a judge that way [even if it is bullshit!], Judge Mangano became suspicious. Turns out Ms. Riley, who had at least 8 clients, and 4 court appearances, is not a lawyer! Her punishment? Five years probation and $3,267 in restitution. You can read more here.

This is insane. It all started on May 25, 2003 in New Zealand when a cat named Lui started licking his balls - really. This led his owner to take him to the vet, where things went from bad to worse, ending with Lui dying 11 days later. Litigation involving Lui's care has been going on for 4 YEARS! And the end could be more than a year away! Thank you, Kiwis, for today's Juice.

For real. MCA Records put out a song called "Barbie Girl."(If you haven't heard the song, lucky you. Not only does it SUCK, it becomes stuck in your head.) Anyway, it doesnt' paint poor little Barbie in the best light, so Mattel sued MCA for using Barbie's name without permission. MCA then agreed to place the following language on the album: the song is "social commentary and not created or approved by the makers of the doll."

MCA's response: fuhgeddaboutit. "It's akin to a bank robber handing a note of apology to a teller during a heist. It neither diminshes the severity of the crime nor does it make it legal." MCA's response? Not pleased with Matell's use of the words "bank robber," "heist," "crime," or "theft," they countersued for defamation!

The Judge ultimately found for MCA Records, and offered this little nugget: "The parties are advised to chill." The case is Mattel v. MCA Records, 296 F.3d 894 (9th Cir. 2002).

Sometimes a little effort goes a long way. Just ask one lawyer, Mr. Puricelli (who represented a man successfully in a civil rights case), who got upbraided for repeatedly failing to fix typos in his court filings. The judge described Mr. Puricelli’s written work as “careless, to the point of disrespectful,” and agreed with the defendants that it was “vague, ambiguous, unintelligible, verbose and repetitive.” What were some of the mistakes? Per the judge:

Throughout the litigation, Mr. Puricelli identified the court as “THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE EASTER [sic] DISTRICT OF PENNSYLVANIA.” Considering the religious persuasion of the presiding officer, the “Passover” District would have been more appropriate.” [Judge Jacob Hart, presiding]

Mr. Puricelli, on the other hand, felt the court didn’t understand his side of the story. When the defendant asked the court to reduce Mr. Puricelli’s fees [that they were required by law to pay] due to his typos, Mr. Puricelli wrote this reply to the court:

Had the Defendants not tired [sic] to paper Plaintiff's counsel to death, some type [sic] would not have occurred. Furthermore, there have been omissions by the Defendants, thus they should not case [sic] stones.

Do you think the judge reduced Mr. Puricelli’s fees?

Continue reading "Dood - Can You Spel?" »

So said Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes of the United States Supreme Court in a case that blew me away when I first encountered it in law school. The case is Buck v. Bell, 274 U.S. 200 (1927). Virginia passed a law allowing the state to forcibly sterilize certain "mental defectives" to promote "the health of the patient and the welfare of society." Shockingly, not all of these folks wanted to be sterilized. Carrie Buck, a resident of the State Colony for Epilectics and Feeble Minded, was one such person. When you read how Justice Holmes sets forth the case, you can probably guess how it came down. (I guess the title of the post offers a small hint too.) Here's what he said:

Carrie Buck is a feeble minded white woman who was committed to the State Colony ... She is the daughter of a feeble minded mother in the same institution, and the mother of an illegitimate feeble minded child.

Here is Justice Holmes' reasoning and conclusion:

We have seen more than once that the public welfare may call upon the best citizens for their lives. It would be strange if it could not call upon those who already sap the strength of the State for lesser sacrifices, often not felt to be such by those concerned, in order to prevent our being swamped with incompetence. It is better for all the world, if instead of waiting to execute degenerate offspring for a crime, or to let them starve for their imbecility, society can prevent those who are manifestly unfit from continuing their kind. The principle that sustains compulsory vaccination is broad enough to cover cutting the Fallopian tubes. Jacobson v. Massachusetts, 197 U.S. 11. Three generations of imbeciles are enough. (emphasis added)

Almost 20 years after I first read the case, it still sends chills down my spine.

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Posted In: Here Comes the Judge

So this Israeli guy is convicted of attempted murder and, incredibly, is put on house arrest until his sentencing hearing. Don't worry, though, because he had to wear an electronic ankle monitor, until, that is, he took it off and put it on his dog's neck! Yup. When the police came to get Nabil Farumi to take him to his sentencing hearing, only Spot Farumi was there (sporting the latest in canine neckware). Nabil was nowhere to be found.

Props to Cindy Hill for sending this article to the Juice.