Squeezed On: June 30, 2007

Stop Stealing The F*cking Signs!

A good friend sent this to me. Hopefully it hasn't been around the world too many times, without finding it's way into my inbox. Anyway, there's a town in Austria called "Fucking." Seems people keep stealing the signs. Go figure. Enjoy the article!

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Squeezed On: June 29, 2007

Talk About The Long Con

While reviewing some doctor disciplinary cases, I came across this incredible story. In 1976, Illinois pharmacist Gerald Barnbaum had his license revoked for Medicaid fraud. He moved to California, and legally changed his name to Gerald Barnes, a prominent doctor whose name he found in a medical directory. Then he wrote the California Medical Board and got a copy of the real Dr. Barnes' medical license, and wrote his medical school and got a copy of his medical school diploma.

doctorspretend.jpg For the next 20 years, he was Dr. Gerald Barnes, despite getting caught many times. (Per the San Francisco Chronicle, "he was sent to prison five times, convicted of illegally practicing medicine, mail fraud, grand theft, even involuntary manslaughter, but each time after being paroled, he resumed his sham.")

So where is Dr. Barnes now? He's in prison in Illinois, where he'll probably remain for the rest of his life. To read more about this incredible con, click here.

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Squeezed On: June 28, 2007

The World's WORST Driver!

drunkdriving.jpgThis will blow your mind. Alan Hogg, age 34, was convicted of drunk-driving - for the 13th time. He's also had 34 convictions for driving while disqualified. You may have guessed that this didn't happened in the United States. Dude would have been executed, at least. Mr. Hogg resides in New Zealand.

Surely the Judge wouldn't give Hogg another chance? Especially since he was also just convicted of possession of meth and three counts of possession of drug utensils? Wrong! The dude WALKED. No jail time (just 200 hours of community service). I'm not going to get into the mitigating factors because WHO CARES! Said the Judge: "In the long term, surely the courts must be in the business of avoiding offending." What about doling out some justice? Protecting innocent citizens? judge.gifBeware, Kiwis - Hogg has now obtained a learner's permit. To read more, click here. (The link is a little slow.)

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Squeezed On: June 27, 2007

Texas House of Representatives Screws Up - Royally

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Dr. Nilon Tallant was incredibly thrilled to be honored as the Texas "Doctor of the Day" on January 12, 2007. He correctly assumed that the Texas House of Representatives did not know that he is a CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER who had his license revoked (by the Texas Medical Board!) for 4 years. Said Lt. Gutierrez, who investigated Dr. Tallant's crime, and described him as extremely exploitative and abusive:

I can’t believe that the Medical Board let him practice again. Why didn’t they talk to us before making that decision?
And what was his crime? Dr. Tallant, then 64, was charged with 19 counts of sexual performance with a child, a 17-year-old PATIENT. He pleaded guilty to a felony and got probation. PROBATION!

Representative Leo Berman, who introduced Dr. Tallant, was not pleased.

I don't like the idea that I introduced a sex offender. He should have told whoever selected him to be the Doctor of the Day that he is a registered sex offender and not try to appear before the Texas House of Representatives and make himself look legitimate before the entire state.
Are you shitting me? You expect a doctor who sexually molested a minor patient to just out himself?

And guess what the TV station investigating the matter discovered: The Texas Legislature honored Dr. Tallant on April 21, 2006! To read the entire story, click here.
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Squeezed On: June 26, 2007

Talk About Cruel And Unusual Punishment!

vibrator%20dog.jpgGuantanamo has nothing on Send Prison in Surrey, England. Maybe these prisoners have legal rights. Maybe they were actually charged with crimes (and convicted too!). And maybe people actually know they are behind bars, but, brace yourself, this prison bans sex toys! One female prisoner, who desperately wants her Rampant Rabbit vibrator (she claims she's a "sex addict"), refuses to accept the status quo. She claims the policy discriminates against heterosexuals. Here's what she said in a letter to the prison governor:

Homosexual acts of every kind are carried out blatantly yet are disregarded by officers. It is openly condoned. If the Prison Service has a duty of care, how come any request for sex-related essentials such as a harmless dildo for stimulation has been termed ridiculous?
Now this may sound a little crazy, but you have to consider that 200 junkies who were not allowed to take heroin in jail were recently awarded £749,000 ($1.5 million U.S.)! Click here to read more.vibrator%20recall.jpg

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Squeezed On: June 25, 2007

One Hard-Headed Dude, With A Hard-Luck Girlfriend

skull.jpgIf he wanted to kill himself before, just imagine how he must feel now. Joe Clapper of Lincoln, Nebraska shot himself in the head, with his girlfriend in the room. He must have wanted to send her some kind of message, doing it with her right there in the room. Well he did, with a bullet. When Mr. Clapper shot himself in the head, the bullet ricocheted off his skull and hit his girlfriend in the chest!

Mr. Clapper pleaded guilty to assault, and was sentenced to one year in jail. The Judge also ordered him to pay $18,862.72 in restitution for his girlfriend's medical bills. Clapper's lawyer argued that, because of a 2000 U.S. Supreme Court case, the amount of the award had to be submitted to a jury and proved beyond a reasonable doubt.

Clapper won! at the appellate level. The Nebraska Supreme court said otherwise, ruling 6-1 that a criminal defendant has no right to a jury trial on the amount of restitution. You can read the entire article here. And if you're really, really bored, you can read the Nebraska Supreme Court opinion here. (scroll down a little).

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Squeezed On: June 24, 2007

Not Happy With Your Daughter's Choice For A Husband? Kidnap Her!

kidnap-60.jpgThat's exactly what Lem and Julia Redd of Provo, Utah did. Seems good 'ole Perry Myers just wasn't exactly the fella they had in mind for their daughter, Julianna. So, the day before her wedding, they told her they were going shopping (for religious undergarments for the ceremony), but kept right on going to Colorado! Julianna claims that, at a rural gas station, they used force to get her back in the minivan. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? We'll never come home? Well, they came home the next day. The wedding took place a few days later. (The couple has since had a child.)

As you might expect, the parents were charged with kidnapping. Do you think Julianna forgave them, after they apologized on national TV? No way. Here are a few of her comments:

We have to protect our new baby. I don't trust my mom.
I'm past forgiveness. I can't do anything more. They'll have to (show) accountability.
[This case] clarifies to society that you can't do this because you're a parent and you want to. You're accountable, no matter who you are.
And what do the relatives have to say?
Lem Redd, Bride's Father: "We have made an apology and said that what we did was incorrect, but we feel this is definitely wrong." Dude, you kidnapped your 21-year-old daughter. You expected a $50 fine?
Julia Redd, Bride's Mother: "We don't carry any animosity for her, we don't have any animosity towards Perry or his family. We don't know them or him, we were hoping to get to know him better." You don't know him? And you still did this? And let me get this straight: You, the kidnapper, don't "have any animosity towards Perry?" Okay, my head stopped spinning. Go with an "insanity" plea.
Although the Redds are clearly ready to forgive themselves, the groom's family is not of the same mind.

[Read on to see what happened to the Redds.]

Continue reading "Not Happy With Your Daughter's Choice For A Husband? Kidnap Her!" »

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Squeezed On: June 23, 2007

It's Great To Stay Connected With Your Kids As They Grow Up, But....

A mom in Lincoln, Nebraska went a bit too far. She drove her 12-year-old and 6 other kids (3 who are 12,and 3 who are 13) to a 7th grade English teacher's house, which they proceeded to TRASH as follows:

Using toilet paper, syrup, adhesive tape, dishwashing soap and eggs, they vandalized her house, yard, trees and driveway.
Wow. Must have stopped at the grocery store on the way. tp.jpgFor her troubles, mom was cited for suspicion of contributing to the delinquency of minors. To read more, click here.

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Squeezed On: June 22, 2007

Freedom For Funky Foot Fetishist

footprint_petroglyphs.jpgWhy was Martin Rodrigues, age 37, held in jail? Because he asked a young girl to walk on his jacket and leave her footprints on it. The alleged crime? Inciting a child to engage in sexual activity. The problem? The Judge said what Rodrigues had done was not "sexual activity" under the Sexual Offences Act (doh!), so he tossed the case.

However, pursuant to a prior court order, Rodrigues may not take pictures of girls feet. Seems he was pestering children while attempting to photograph their feet in a local park. Perhaps some counseling might be in order? You can read more here.

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Squeezed On: June 21, 2007

Not Your Typical Ice Cream Truck

ice%20cream%20truck%20old.jpg />Not by a long shot. First of all, Raymundo Flores was charging $5 and $10 for his merchandise. Actually the price is probably about right - FOR POT! Mr. Flores, an illegal immigrant from Mexico, was charged with selling $5 and $10 bags of marijuana to 3rd, 4th and 5th graders in Mission, Texas. Said police chief Leo Longoria, "It's a scary thought, but that's the info we received." Probably pretty good info too, since bags of marijuana were found in the truck with the ice cream.

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Squeezed On: June 20, 2007

Chinese Company Can't Sell "World Cup Air"

They're at it again. The same Chinese company that was selling land on the moon was trying to sell "World Cup Air." The court nixed it. Read more here.

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Squeezed On: June 20, 2007

Judge Has A Thang For The Beatles

judge.gif Why else would the Honorable Gregory Todd (Montana Thirteenth Judicial District, Yellowstone County) issue a Sentencing Memorandum incorporating dozens of Beatles song titles? To read this silly thang in its entirety, click here.

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Squeezed On: June 19, 2007

Virginia Middle School Forbids ANY Physical Contact

fingers_touching.jpgYes, that includes high-fives, handshakes, a pat on the back, and hugging (no matter how brief). Them's the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna (Fairfax County) Virginia. Per Principal Deborah Hernandez of the zero tolerance policy for physical contact: "You get into shades of gray. The kids say, 'If he can high-five, then I can do this.' " Please, Ms. Hernandez. That's a cop-out, and you know it. It's just easier to say "no physical contact" than it is to draft a reasonable rule.

To read more about this silly rule, and the silly justifications, click here.

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Squeezed On: June 18, 2007

Judge Lets Convicted Murderer Out On Bail?

Crazy as it sounds, that's exactly what Ontario Judge Marvin Catzman did almost 15 years ago. At the bail hearing for Guy Paul Morin, who had been convicted of first degree murder, Catzman said "I would have to be mad if I didn't see something wrong with this case." So he followed his instincts, and let Morin out on bail pending his appeal. His instincts were right. Two years later, DNA evidence cleared Morin.dna.jpg

Of the decision to let him out on bail, said Morin yesterday, "For the first time, there was a spark of hope. I thank him to this day."

Sadly, not many judges would have the guts to make that call. Judge Catzman died on June 14, 2007.

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Squeezed On: June 17, 2007

Not- So-True Confessions

interrogation.jpg
The Japanese authorities REALLY screwed this one up. Suspecting vote-buying in the small Japanese town of Shibushi, they launched a major investigation. The results: 13 arrests of men and women in their 50s, 60s and 70s. Six of them confessed to buying votes with liquor, cash and parties. Now there was just one problem - a judge concluded that their confessions WERE FABRICATED , and that the defendants “made confessions in despair while going through marathon questioning.” He acquitted all of them on all of the charges. But this came to late for one man, who died during the trial. Another man tried to kill himself by jumping into a river (after being rescued, he confessed!) It's incredible what these people went through before the house of cards collapsed. One man spent 395 days in jail. His wife was jailed for 273 days. The village postmaster was held in a windowless cell for 186 days. Her daughter had to quit her job to tend to the post office! To read about this in detail, click here.

So what happened to the police in Shibushi who were responsible for this injustice? Zippy. Squawdoosh. Nada.

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Squeezed On: June 16, 2007

Perhaps The Most Persistent Stalker Ever

stalker2.jpgWow. There is an aerobics instructor in Winnipeg who regrets the day she said "hello" to Alanna Phizacklea, who attended the gym where the victim taught. Apparently, that "hello" was all it took, because there was nothing else that transpired between the two of them. Since that day, though, Phizacklea has been stalking her relentlessly. It started in June 1999 when Phizacklea showed up at the victim's house. Per the Judge, "What followed ... were phone calls in the middle of the night, letters, seemingly chance encounters everywhere." Here's Winnipeg Free Press reporter Mike McIntyre's chronology (his article can be read here):

Police were finally called in January 2000 when Phizacklea went to the victim's home and began pounding on her door for several minutes. She was arrested and pleaded guilty the following month to criminal harassment. Phizacklea was given a suspended sentence and two years of probation with an order to stay away from the victim.
Phizacklea was re-arrested in 2002 after making dozens of angry phone calls to the woman. At one point, she even dropped off an envelope with $1,000.
She pleaded guilty in January 2003 and was given time in custody of 25 days followed by probation. A psychiatric report described Phizacklea as having "periodic obsessive ruminations" about the victim.
A third arrest followed later that year when Phizacklea repeatedly breached her probation by confronting the victim at various locales, including a grocery store where she made an obscene gesture and uttered a threat.
Phizacklea was sentenced in August 2004 and told court she planned to get away from her victim by moving to Calgary. She was given time in custody of 16 days plus a six-month conditional sentence.
Phizacklea was arrested in December 2004 for breaching her conditional sentence by following the victim in a vehicle. She was allowed to eventually resume her conditional sentence.
Phizacklea was arrested a fifth time in August 2006 for breaching her probation orders by confronting the victim in a grocery store, writing her letters and making phone calls. Phizacklea was given the equivalent of six months in jail, plus probation.
She was released from custody in early November - and immediately went after the victim in a terrifying incident outside a city bank. Phizacklea forced her way into the woman's car, grabbed her arm and began speaking of her ruined life, inability to find a job and even told the victim, "I forgive you." She only let her go when the woman promised not to call police. She did, and Phizacklea was arrested for a sixth time and has been in custody since last Nov. 6.
So what did the Judge do this time? He sentenced her to 26 months in jail. Hopefully they'll monitor her outgoing mail.

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Squeezed On: June 15, 2007

If The Sleeping Pills Don't Kill Me, Please Hit Me On The Head With A Pole - And Here's $5k For Your Troubles

overdose.jpgIn a recent case from Australia, two 20-year-old men, Robert Karaca and Jarred Royce Price, were charged with attempted murder. Their “victim” was a 32-year-old friend of theirs named Bruce Levin, who was intent on killing himself, and convinced them to help.

Levin spoke of overdosing on sleeping tablets. If that failed, he wanted to be hit on the back of the head with a steel bar. Oh, and he threw in more than $5,000. (That’d be a little less than $5,000 U.S., but, still, nothing that a couple of broke 20-year-olds would scoff at.)

When Levin’s sleeping pills appeared not to work, Karaca couldn’t bring himself to hit Levin with the pole, so Price was asked to do it. Apparently, Levin thanked them profusely before he was hit and then suddenly had a change of heart – after he was hit twice, he laid still and played dead to avoid being hit again.

Thinking Levin was dead, his pals took off. A bloodied Levin got his wounds stitched at the hospital. A remorseful Karaca told the police what they had done.

So, what happened to them?

Continue reading "If The Sleeping Pills Don't Kill Me, Please Hit Me On The Head With A Pole - And Here's $5k For Your Troubles" »

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Squeezed On: June 14, 2007

Low Rider Pants Won't Fly In This Louisiana Town

pants.gifIf you like to wear your pants on the low side, you might want to bypass Delcambre, Louisiana. The town council just approved an ordinance that will outlaw pants that reveal undergarments or certain parts of the body (I'm guessing one of them is two words, with the second one being "crack."). And what does the Mayor think of this ordinance, which will punish offenders with up to 6 months in jail and a $500 fine? She's going to sign it into law. Said Mayor Carol Broussard:

It's gotten way out of hand out here ... Just wear it properly. Cover your vital parts. I mean, if you expose your private parts, you'll get a fine. If you walk up and your pants drop, you get a fine. They're better off taking the pants off and just wearing a dress.
Fine, fine, fine. We get the idea!

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Squeezed On: June 13, 2007

Remember The Kid Who Mooned His Class, And The School Was Trying To Expel Him Just Days Before Graduation?

If you don't, or you missed it, click here to read it. At the time of the post, his fate had not been determined. So did he graduate with his class? Per his grandmother, here's what happened:

He decided to forego the school board expulsion hearing scheduled last week along with the opportunity to walk across a stage to receive his diploma with his classmates. Thus, he has no expulsion on his school record, he finished out his final high school semester with a 3.4 grade point average, made the county all-star lacrosse team, has his diploma in hand and is headed to Drexel University in Philadelphia this September — in spite of the school administration’s relentless attempt, all the way to the Florida Court of Appeals, to throw him out of school.
Here's the link to her post.

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Squeezed On: June 13, 2007

Yes, The $54 Million Pants Lawsuit With The Judge Against The Dry Cleaners Began Today

hickey%20pants.jpg and a blogger from The Washington Post is covering it! To read the blow-by-blow, click here.(Scroll down to get to the beginning of the trial.) (If you need the backstory on this wacky case, you can get it here.)

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