Squeezed On: May 31, 2007

This Is What You Get For Following the Teacher’s Instructions?

“Be creative,” the creative writing teacher instructed her students. “There will be no judgment and no censorship.” But when 18-year-old Allen Lee—a student with a 4.2 grade-point average who never got in trouble at school—submitted his essay, he ended up being charged with two misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct.

Here’s an excerpt from the essay:

Blood, sex and booze. Drugs, drugs, drugs are fun. Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, s..t...a...b...puke. So I had this dream last night where I went into a building, pulled out two P90s and started shooting everyone, then had sex with the dead bodies. Well, not really, but it would be funny if I did.
Exquisite prose? No, but as Lee's lawyer observed, "There was never any warning from the teacher that if she determined the paper to be offensive, she would then pass it along to the authorities.” He denounced the charges as a product of paranoia born from the Virginia Tech massacre. Writing-Rules-You-ll-Ever-Need-Posters.jpg
The pending criminal charges would not only prevent Lee from returning to school, but also jeopardize—if not ruin—his chances of joining the Marines Corps. Lee had already completed military entrance exams, which included a psychiatric evaluation. After being criminally charged, however, he was discharged from his contract with the Marine Corps, and a Marine Corps Recruiting Station spokesman says Lee “is no longer an applicant to become a Marine.”

Given the military’s emphasis on the chain of command and following orders, it is surprising that the Marines didn’t want Lee! Wasn’t he simply following his teacher’s instructions?

So what happened?

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Continue reading "This Is What You Get For Following the Teacher’s Instructions?" »

Squeezed On: May 30, 2007

No Way To Treat Your Mom

Especially if she's 77, and you're 48. Otis Freshwater, of Marion, Indiana, was convicted of robbing his mother at knifepoint - of $107.00. mommy-boy-blond.jpg He faces 10 years for armed robbery, and 18 months for breaking into his mother's house. I'm thinking the other inmates won't take to kindly to a guy who robs his own mom.knife.bmp

Squeezed On: May 29, 2007

"Etc." Dress Code?

green%20hair%202.jpgOkay, so I hate dress codes. I especially hate vague dress codes. How are students supposed to know if they are complying with "etc?" The folks who drafted the new dress code for Neosho High School (in Missouri) might want to take another look at this thang. Here are a few "specific examples of articles that are inappropriate for all students:"

Clothing and/or appearance that disrupts the educational process or poses a threat to the safety of others (chains, sharp objects, excessive jewelry, cut gloves, etc.
Unnatural hair color (fuchsia, green, blue etc.) is not acceptable.
Hey school board, you call these "specific?" And how the hell is one supposed to know when jewelry is "excessive?" I guess when the principal says so. Oh, and it's okay to change your hair color, as long as you change it to something "natural," and not to "etc." mannequin.jpg

EDUCATE, PEOPLE. School board, do you honestly think this is going to change anything? Address the underlying problem, not the appearance!!! Aaaargh.

Squeezed On: May 28, 2007

Tattoo Discrimination?

Yup. When Rachel Monk, a 24-year-old Scottish woman with cerebal palsy, wanted to get a tattoo, the first establishment she and her family tried was up a flight of steps. Since Ms. Monk is in a wheelchair, she was referred to another tattoo parlor. At that establishment, called Body Creation, the owner told her

We don't do people like you.
Me thinks they will now. A discrimination claim was filed. The Disability Rights Commision awarded Ms. Monk £2,500 ($5,000), stating
It was abundantly clear, once one took the trouble to communicate with Rachael, that she knew her own mind, was proud of the small heart (tattoo) already displayed on her right arm, and wanted that tattoo she had chosen for her left upper arm... [Mr Dean] did not attempt to make any assessment of Rachael's vulnerability or capacity He simply ignored her and made assumptions based upon her physical abilities.
To read more, click here.

Squeezed On: May 27, 2007

Your Honor Says What?

FbombTHfinal.jpgCook County, Illinois Judge Stanley Sacks, during the trial of a Chicago police officer convicted of reckless driving, said:

Pardon my language, but big fucking deal.
So... judicial. For this little doozy, Chief Judge Timothy Evans re-assigned Sacks to non-judicial duties for four months.

Squeezed On: May 26, 2007

Stalking From The Attic?

Yes indeed. Washington [state] resident Roy "Billy" Day did not appreciate being dumped. So he camped out (literally) in his ex-girlfriend's attic. (He had a sleeping bag and a fan up there!) He then cut a hole in the ceiling, jumped down and assaulted his ex and her daughter. He hit his ex more than 20 times.And he punched her daughter too. Mr. Day is being held on $500,00 bail. Click here to read the entire story.

Squeezed On: May 25, 2007

Ex-Judge Swore He Was Permanently Disabled, Collects Disability, And Works As A Lawyer!

True enough. Former Iowa Judge James A. Weaver swore in an affidavitthat he was permanently disabled. He's been receiving disability benefits from Iowa for more than 2 years. Yet he is running a private law firm and doing court-appointed work (paid for by the state of Iowa!) for indigent defendants. Crazy.

Squeezed On: May 24, 2007

Doctor With A Quick Sex-Change Trigger?

male20and20female20symbols.jpg Too quick, said the United Kingdom's General Medical Council disciplinary panel, of Dr. Russell Reid, the UK's top expert on transsexualism. The panel concluded that Dr. Reid's treatment of patients B,C,D, E and F was inappropriate, not in their best interests, and in breach of international guidelines on the treatment of transsexuals. Here are the panels conclusions:

Dr Reid was found to have prescribed hormones to Patient B despite lacking any evidence to corroborate that she was transsexual. She told the inquiry she was severely depressed and felt trapped in gender limbo.
The gender psychiatrist was found to have given Patient C, a convicted paedophile, hormones and referred him for surgery too quickly and without evidence that he was truly transsexual. Patient C - a male-to-female transsexual who has reverted to living as a man - told the inquiry that he wanted his sex change reversed.
Dr Reid was found to have prescribed Patient D male hormones against the advice in a second opinion provided by another psychiatrist. The patient, who wanted to change sex in order to fulfil a delusion that she was turning into Jesus, only avoided surgery to remove both her breasts because she was sectioned and diagnosed with manic depression. She told the inquiry she was never transsexual and claimed she had been misdiagnosed by Dr Reid.
The disciplinary panel determined that Dr Reid also prescribed patients E and F with hormones too quickly and without an adequate assessment of their health or proof that they were transsexuals.
I'm thinking you want to err on the side of EXTREME CAUTION. So will Dr. Reid be barred from practicing medicine?

Continue reading "Doctor With A Quick Sex-Change Trigger?" »

Squeezed On: May 23, 2007

Punching A Juror? Brilliant

boxing%2520glove.jpgDefendant Richard Glawson can forget about jury sympathy. After the judge refused the prosecutor's request to have Glawson shackled, he sucker-punched an elderly juror, then had to be pulled off of him. Sure, hindsight is 20/20. In this case, though, foresight should have been easy enough. glawson.jpg

Here's what Glawson (see photo) is accused of doing during a two-day crime spree: robbing a house, starting a shootout at a mall, carjacking a woman, breaking into another home, shooting a disabled man’s dog, carjacking two more vehicles, and shooting a police officer in the hand. What the hell do you have to be accused of to warrant shackles?

Squeezed On: May 22, 2007

A Naked Man, A Blow Torch, And One Fine Motorcycle

Ducati800.jpg Dude really wanted the motorcycle, so he came equipped - with a blow torch, gas cannisters, a screwdriver and a claw hammer. Problem was, he was a little bit to loud. The homeowner's 4-year-old son heard some noise, and woke his dad. So dad chased him down the street, then realized he was buck naked. By then the would-be thief was well on his way - without his tools or the motorcycle, though he had managed to melt the lock on the motorcycle.

Neighbors had seen a man with a dark jacket and gloves (see police artist sketch below) dragging a wheelie bin through the neighborhood, looking around to see if he was being watched. Hmmmmmm. If you have any information on this crime, call the South Wales Police at 029 2022 2111 (collect!). (You can read the entire story here.)
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Squeezed On: May 21, 2007

This Case Bites

telemarketer.pngRobert Johnson REALLY wanted to be a telemarketer. The only problem? He is missing 18 teeth. But Johnson wasn’t going to let that stop him. He applied for a telemarketing position, went through three days of training, and received generally positive evaluations from the telemarketer. Everything seemed to be going so well... until Johnson was let go because he “mumbled on the phone and was not a ‘good match’ for the job.”

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So Johnson sued the telemarketer under the American’s with Disabilities Act (the "ADA"). Describing his condition as a “cosmetic disfigurement consisting of some prominently visible absent front teeth,” Johnson claimed that his rejection was a pretext for discrimination. The federal district court didn’t buy the argument, so Johnson appealed.

What happened?

Continue reading "This Case Bites" »

Squeezed On: May 20, 2007

UK Soft On Sex Offenders?

whatlaw.jpg A few days ago, I posted a story about a UK man who sexually assaulted a 13-year-old girl in his bedroowm, in addition to bombarding her with thousands of text messages, and walked. (Click here to read the story.) Now a 27-year-old UK man, who made sexual advances to a 12-year-old girl, met her in the park with a condom and handcuffs, "cuddled" her in the park, sent her up to 100 text messages a day (some with sexual content, including obscene pictures), also walked. His "punishment" is 5 years on the sex offenders' register, and attending courses to curb his offending. Oh, and he can't use mobile phones or computers to contact children. Can you imagine why her dad was extremely angry? What the hell is going on over there?

Squeezed On: May 19, 2007

20 Years For Unlawfully Entering A Dwelling?

True enough. Todd J. Hubble was convicted of unlawfully entering a sorority house at Tulane University. Under Louisiana's repeat offender laws - this was his 6th conviction - he will receive 20 years to life when he is sentenced next month. He won't be missed. According to a reporter who wrote a story about the case for The Times-Picayune: eyes.jpg

Even during his trial, Hubble gave court employees the creeps by staring at women, from the lead prosecutor to the witnesses, said observers who attended the trial. At one point, [Judge] Winsberg had a deputy remove Hubble from his seat next to prosecutor Varnado because of his relentless gaze.

Squeezed On: May 18, 2007

Snap! Lookout Judge. Here Comes Mr. Young

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Defendant Bruce Young (who was awaiting trial on federal drug charges) was pissed - twice! (blank-sucking little blank?). But he was not in court on the drug charges when the outbursts occurred. He was there on charges of attempted escape and conspiracy to commit escape. Per the court, "during proceedings conducted in open court on December 18, 2000, and July 20, 2001, the Defendant went berserk, to put it quite mildly... During the in-court proceeding conducted on December 18, 2000, the Court, counsel and the Defendant were discussing a trial date for [the escape charges] prosecution... When the Court asked Government's counsel about her availability for a possible trial in February, 2001, she responded that she had inadvertently left her calendar at home... At that point the Defendant went berserk:

Defendant: This is wrong, your Honor. This is wrong. This is wrong.
Court: Mr. Young?
Defendant: This is wrong. It's bull shit too.
Court: All right. Mr. Young, you have just earned yourself an extra six months.
Defendant: I've got 52 fucking years coming man. I mean, what does another fucking day mean?
Court: Get this man out of here, immediately.
Defendant: The bitch has me pinned in a five-by-seven box for nine fucking months. This is bull shit.
Court: We are in recess.
Defendant: Hateful bitch.
Courtroom Deputy Clerk: All rise.
Defendant: Fuck this court. Fuck this court. Fuck you and I won't be back, you bitch. You're playing goddamn games.
Marshal: Calm down.
Defendant: Fuck the constitution, you assholes. Fucking wipe on a mother fucker. That's what you can use it for -- (Defendant continued screaming "F" word comments as leaving courtroom and into the hall).
Okay, that didn't go so well. "[Seven months later] on July 17, 2001, the Court engaged in a colloquy with the Defendant, required by Faretta v. California ..., and permitted him to represent himself, despite his outrageous behavior during the proceedings of the previous December 18th... The Court explained that it did not want the Defendant to have the discovery materials in the jail, where he has been incarcerated prior to trial, lest those materials become circulated throughout the jail and compromise pending prosecutions." Oh shizzle - give him the discovery materials. Here it comes.
Defendant: Your Honor, can I go back to the jail? I am about to have an anxiety attack. I can't go on with this shit. Have the marshals take me back before I do something stupid. I'm being nice. Can I please go back.
Court: Well, I appreciate the advance warning.
Defendant: I'm telling, your Honor, I know myself.
Court: Marshals, if you would.
Defendant: I know myself. This is crazy. I can't have my fucking discovery packet. What kind of shit is that? Shit. God. You mother fuckers.
Court: Once again Mr. Young--
Defendant: You fucked-up asshole. You Jew bitch and bastard.
Court: You've earned yourself another six months.
Defendant: Fuck you. Kiss my dick. I'm not going to have my discovery packet. You've got me fucking bent, you bitch, mother fucker. Kiss my ass. You too, Chema. You dick sucking little faggot.
So what happened to Mr. Young?

Continue reading "Snap! Lookout Judge. Here Comes Mr. Young" »

Squeezed On: May 17, 2007

Alaska Judge Said What?

Per the Alaska Supreme Court's decision, Judge David Landry: decorative_thermometer.jpg

made inappropriate sexual comments to female court employees in the workplace. These included a note to a female employee that her "Hillbilly thermometers are distracting", a note to a court clerk referring to a juror, stating, "I think Ms. _______ wants me," describing one court clerk as a "shameless hussy"...
hillbilly.jpgHillbilly thermometers?! Go ahead, google it. You'll get 6 hits. Where does a judge in Alaska come up with that? Judge Landry also routinely signed blank bail orders, leaving it to the prosecutors to decide "the particulars for out-of-custody defendants." Gee, think there's anything wrong with that? There are a few more findings (like 14 criminal cases that had to be dismissed in 2005 because Judge Landry failed to schedule the trials within the time required by law), but I think you get the idea. Partially because Judge Landry was defeated in November 2006, his punishment was only a "public censure." Oh, and "at no time in the future [may he] seek or hold a position as a judicial officer in the State of Alaska." Where's the accountability? I'm steamed.

Squeezed On: May 16, 2007

Mooning High-Schooler Back In Court Today

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Remember high school senior Nick Sofos, who mooned his class at a drama club fundraiser, and was suspended for 10 days, and then some? (Click here to read the post). He's back in court because his parents want to make sure the school allows him to graduate on May 25th. The Collier County School Board said they will decide on May 22nd if Nick should be expelled. MOVE ON, SCHOOL BOARD. FOCUS ON EDUCATING!

Squeezed On: May 16, 2007

British Child Molester Walks

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Sure, the U.S. has done enough harm lately to last a long, long time, but no way does this guy walk if this had happened in the U.S. Music teacher Sam Webb (age 34), admitted to passionately kissing a 13-year-old girl in his bedroom, and sending her over 2,000 text messages in a short period of time. (He was found out when the girl's phone bill went from $60 to $500.)

So here's the sentence: three years probation, attending a sex offenders class, and 5 years on the sex offenders' register! This is justice? Here's the article with more details.

Squeezed On: May 15, 2007

Cockfighting Is Still Legal?

You bet (while you still can!) Better get down to Louisana and catch a cockfight before it's too late. It's the only state that still allows cockfighting, but not for long. cockfighting.jpg
The Louisana House and Senate have both approved of the repeal of a section of state law that declares chickens are not subject to the state's cruelty-to-animals laws.

Squeezed On: May 14, 2007

A Day In Jail In Washington, DC After Walking A Dog Without A Leash?

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It all started with a $25 ticket for walking a dog without a leash. As reported in The Washington Post, per Washington, DC resident Peter McMahon:

When I got to the station on April 12 at 6:45 a.m., I was promptly arrested. Throughout the day I was put in five cells, handcuffed three times, fingerprinted twice, made to wear leg shackles and photographed before being released at about 5 p.m.
leg%20irons.jpgHandcuffs?! Leg shackles?! You've got to click here and read the whole story to believe it (and even then, it's hard to believe).

Squeezed On: May 13, 2007

Honey, Did You Pack Any Liquids, Perishables, Or Sex Toys?

In this post-9/11 world, we ask a lot of airport security personnel – they are, after all, our first line of defense against airborne terrorist attacks. We expect them to be vigilant watchdogs, keeping their eyes and ears open for signs of anything unusual in our nation’s airports.

But this is ridiculous.

Ms. Renee Koutsouradis had boarded her flight from Las Vegas to Tampa, and was waiting for the plane to leave the gate, when she was summoned to the front by flight attendants. She was escorted off the plane and down onto the tarmac, where she was informed that “something was vibrating” in her bag (guess what it was). The court explains what happened next:

On the tarmac, in the presence of three Delta male employees, and apparently in view of some of the other passengers still seated on the plane, the gate agent asked Koutsouradis to open her bag and take the batteries out of the vibrator. Koutsouradis alleges that, at this time, one of the Delta male employees . . . made sexually explicit statements toward her, causing the other men to laugh. She claims [he] licked his lips and said “What do [you] need that for?”, “Doesn’t your husband satisfy you?”, and “Come on Baby, let me satisfy you.”
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Surprisingly, this smooth-talking luggage-handling lothario failed to win the heart of our heroine. In fact, she found his comments inappropriate and offensive. And so – this is a legal blog, after all – she sued the airline for infliction of emotional distress (among other things), claiming that its boorish bagman had caused her to suffer “panic attacks and post-traumatic stress disorder.”
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How do you think she did at trial? (Click here to find out.)



Continue reading "Honey, Did You Pack Any Liquids, Perishables, Or Sex Toys?" »

Squeezed On: May 12, 2007

Navy To Gay Sailor: You're In, You're Out, You're In, You're Out!

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Petty Officer Second Glass Jason Knight, a trained Hebrew linguist, is gay. So, under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," the Navy booted him in 2005. navy%20boot.jpgHe even had to give back his $13,000 signing bonus. Then, just 9 months later, the Navy called him up for a one-year tour in Kuwait. He gladly accepted, hoping to return to active duty full-time, perhaps entering officers candidate school.

Now, just weeks before the end of his one-year tour, the Navy discharged him again because ... he is gay! Apparently they were not pleased with an interview he did with Stars & Stripes and other media. Here's what Knight had to say in a letter to Stars & Stripes before this latest discharge:

I spent four years in the Navy, buried fallen service members as part of the Ceremonial Guard, served as a Hebrew Linguist in Navy Intelligence, and received awards for exemplary service. However, because I was gay, the Navy discharged me and recouped my $13,000 sign-on bonus. Nine months later, the Navy recalled me to active duty. Did I accept despite everything that happened? Of course I did, and I would do it again. Because I love the Navy and I love my country. And . . . my shipmates support me.
Here's what Bill Driver, the leading petty officer of Knight’s 15-person customs crew in Kuwait, told Stars & Stripes:
He’s better than the average sailor at his job. It’s not at all a strange situation. As open as he is now, it was under wraps for quite a while. It wasn’t an issue at work.
Surely Knight must be bitter now? Nope. "I have now spent five years in the Navy, and I have loved every minute of it," Knight said Friday

Squeezed On: May 11, 2007

Not Your Ideal Landlord

Let's just say that you wouldn't want to live in an apartment owned by Vincent Tan of Edmonton, Alberta. Here's what he was up to: A tenant came home and found Mr. Tan with his pants off and an erection visible through his underwear. Zoinks! Enter the police, who then searched Mr. Tan's home, and found a cache of videotapes. vhs.jpg On some of the videos, Tan is in the women's apartment, and is masturbating while wearing their lingerie and clothing. On others, Tan is featured, in the women's apartment, in “various sexually compromising positions.” And, this is truly, truly nasty [cat lovers - you have been warned - go now, and come back to Legal Juice tomorrow] Tan disclosed that he once masturbated a male cat for "experimental purposes." I warned you.
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You'll never guess who this man lives with. His mother! And his sentence? Three months house arrest (they had to punish his mother too?), 9 months with an 11:30 p.m. curfew (keep your cats in during the day!), 100 hours of community service, psychological counseling and, most importantly, an order banning him from contact with male cats for 1 year. (Okay, I made that last bit up [about the cat ban].)


Squeezed On: May 10, 2007

Should This Boy Be Expelled?

Things must be going awfully well in the Collier County, Florida school system. Why else would they spend so much time and so many resources doing battle over a harmless prank? Here's what happened:

Senior Nick Sofos was asked to co-host a fundraiser for the school's drama club.
Just before intermission, Nick faked an accidental pants-drop and turned his back on the crowd, mooning them. (Hmmm. I wonder where he got that idea?) For the occasion, he wore a thong, so that the crowd would not be exposed to anything other than his butt. After about 10 seconds of mock befuddlement, Nick pulled up his pants, apologized and exited the stage.
The following day, Nick was ordered to leave the school's football game. (Fear the buttocks!)
He was then suspended for 10 days, after telling the principal that it was an accident.
Soon thereafter, per the principal, Nick sent him an e-mail admitting that it was not an accident.
After the suspension, Nick was required to spend 10 more days in the Phoenix Program, an alternative school.
That was too much for Nick's parents, who went to court and asked the judge to force the school board to allow Nick to return to his high school. They won.
The school board appealed! They lost.
Now they want to expel Nick for violating .... Rule 11! No, not Rule 11! Anything but Rule 11! Anyone have the Rule book? Sorry. Here it is. Rule 11 provides that “a student shall not use any method of communication, including electronic communication, that is obscene or profane, that causes personal humiliation or is likely to disrupt the school education, extracurricular or administrative process.”
So do you think Nick was expelled?
thong.jpg

Continue reading "Should This Boy Be Expelled?" »

Squeezed On: May 9, 2007

Ambassador of God? Just Get A Driver's License Already!

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Missouri resident Thor Davis was no stranger to the state troopers. When Davis was pulled over

... [Trooper] Hines recognized [him], as he had previously stopped Davis for motor vehicle license violations. Hines ... asked to see his driver's license. Davis told Hines that he did not have a license, and did not need one because, "he was an ambassador of God, and had immunity." At trial, Davis said, "I freely admit that I do not have a driver's license. I will tell the Court that I do not intend to get a driver's license because I feel that it is against my religious beliefs." Davis declared he was merely "traveling in a conveyance" rather than "driving a motor vehicle." When asked by the judge whether he was claiming that he was not "turning the wheel, and operating the brake pedal, and operating the accelerator," Davis replied, "No, I'm not." (emphasis added).
Oh, and Davis also contended that
his religious beliefs, as expressed in the Bible in Leviticus 18:3-5, Exodus 22:32-33, 34:10-17, and Deuteronomy 7:2, prohibit him from making any covenant or contract with any other god but God. He reasons that the state of Missouri is a god, and that an application for an operator's license is a contract, which he is prohibited from making, because such act would amount to the crime of treason against his government and his King (God) (emphasis added).
What do you think the trial judge decided?

Continue reading "Ambassador of God? Just Get A Driver's License Already!" »

Squeezed On: May 8, 2007

Kill Someone, And You Can Get Less Jail Time Than If You Try And Fail!

533138_law_and_order.jpg In Illinois, if you kill someone in the heat of the moment, you can get LESS jail time (mandatory 6-30 years) than if you try to do so and fail! (4-20 years, with the possibility of probation). "It's so goofy," said Peter Baroni, an attorney and lobbyist who has worked for the state Senate Judiciary Committee. "There's a statutory incentive to finish the job--to kill somebody. It's bizarre." Because of strange results like this, and the ones listed below, among many others, Illinois created the CLEAR (Criminal Law Edit, Alignment and Reform) initiative to fix the criminal code. Here are a few examples of laws CLEAR proposes to fix:

You can launder money, as long as it comes from another state!
The law prohibiting the carrying of a weapon near a courthouse doesn't cover federal courthouses.
There is a law that forbids lawyers from "wickedly" stirring up disputes - without defining "wickedly."
The law that prohibits threats against public officials does not include assistant attorneys general.
There is a law prohibiting the manufacture of gunpowder within 20 rods of a valuable building. [What the hell is a rod? And I guess regular old buildings aren't worth protecting?

Squeezed On: May 7, 2007

There's A Rotten Toe In My Chewing Tobacco!

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Really. Mr. Bryson Pillars was chewing some tobacco when ... [I'll let the Mississippi Supreme Court take it from here. They just don't write them like they used to.]

It seems that appellant [Mr. Pillars] consumed one plug of his purchase, which measured up to representations, that it was tobacco unmixed with human flesh, but when appellant tackled the second plug it made him sick, but, not suspecting the tobacco, he tried another chew, and still another, until he bit into some foreign substance, which crumbled like dry bread, and caused him to foam at the mouth, while he was getting "sicker and sicker." Finally, his teeth struck something hard; he could not bite through it. After an examination he discovered a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. We refrain from detailing the further harrowing and nauseating details. The appellant consulted a physician, who testified that appellant exhibited all of the characteristic symptoms of ptomaine poison. The physician examined the toe and identified it as a human toe in a state of putrefaction, and said, in effect, that his condition was caused by the poison generated by the rotten toe.[emphasis added]
I ... think ... I'm ... going ... to ... be .........sick. So I guess you know what happened to Pillars at the trial court.

Continue reading "There's A Rotten Toe In My Chewing Tobacco!" »

Squeezed On: May 6, 2007

This Pastor Will Not Be In Church Today

Pastor Herman Lewis, of the Morning Star Baptist Church in Spokane, Washington, told detectives he has been living a double life for years - church on Sunday, prostitutes drugs and alcohol the rest of the week. Apparently still in the "church" mode when he was arrested on Monday (for attempted kidnapping, attempting to run down two police officers, attempted rape, and assault with a deadly weapon), he screamed that he was "Jesus" and "God." His brother says he "snapped" and needs help.

Squeezed On: May 5, 2007

How To Get Away With Kidnapping - And Other Crimes

Navnett Arora (age 22) claims that, in April 2004, a 17-year-old boy called him a "black c***." (The boy denies it.) So Arora calls 3 of his buddies (ages 21,22 and 24) to the scene, and they put the boy in the car. Per the court, here's what happened over the next 6 1/2 hours:

They stripped the boy naked and beat him with a belt.
They strapped him to a tree and whipped him again.
As they drove him around for hours, they beat him and slapped him across the face.
Arora called the boy's mother and demanded $5,000 ransom.
They went to the boy's house and stole a stereo.
They finally dumped the boy at a gas station.
At the urging of the prosecutor, all 4 men received suspended sentences! And where did this take place? Australia. here.

Squeezed On: May 4, 2007

Judge, That's My State (And Sea)

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As a personal injury lawyer, I cringe when I hear the term "frivolous lawsuit" because it's used by the insurance industry (and other corporations) to create the false impression that lawyers are filing scads of bogus lawsuits, crowding the court dockets, and somehow getting rich as a result!? The term is used (with much success) to create an environment that prevents victims from obtaining the compensation they deserve.

Well, I think this one qualifies. Rajaram Kripashankar Srivastava has filed a claim stating that he owns the Indian state of Maharashtra (which I just learned is home to 96+ million people, and covers 119,000 square miles) and the Arabian Sea (big, very big). Seems that, on their way out, the Brits transfered the rights to Maharashtra and the Arabian Sea to his mother. Indian authorities are investigating the claim.

Squeezed On: May 3, 2007

How To End A Fight With Your Wife?

You take off all of your clothes - everything - then go lie down in the middle of an interstate highway. That's just what Shadrach Harding of Centralia, Illinois did. You'd think a dude in that position would go quietly when the police arrived. Not Shadrach. He put up a fight, and was charged with a felony - aggrevated battery. A sympathetic judge, completely naked under his robe [not], sentenced Shadrach to one year probation.

Squeezed On: May 2, 2007

Murphy, Murphy, Murphy - F-bombs And The Finger?

[For more F-bomb cases, see the links at the end of this post.]

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Old Murphy pleaded guilty to one count of distributing cocaine and one count of using a firearm during a drug trafficking crime. Murphy got 130 months for distributing cocaine (just 7 months less than the maximum sentence allowed) and 60 months for the trafficking - to be served consecutively (190 months total). Murphy was especially displeased with the 130 months. "At the conclusion of the [sentencing] hearing, the following exchange occurred:

MURPHY: You should have just gave me the other damn seven--the other seven months is what you should have did, stinky mother fucker.
THE COURT: Mr. Benya--Mr. Murphy, you are summarily found in contempt of this court-
MURPHY: Just give me the other seven months.
THE COURT: You're summarily found to be in contempt of this court. I sentence you to six months to be served consecutive to any other sentence imposed.
MURPHY: You should have just gave me the other seven months is what you should have done.
THE COURT: Mr. Murphy, I find you again in contempt of this court and you're now summarily found in contempt for a second time and you'll serve an additional six months consecutive to any sentence-
MURPHY: What about that? What about that? Serve that, mother fucker. . . .
THE COURT: Mr. Stone, just a minute. Mr. Murphy-
MURPHY: Bye.
THE COURT: You just gave the finger to the court. That will be a third contempt of court and that's six-
MURPHY: Add another one to it.
THE COURT: --six more months at the end of your sentence. Well, that's a quick year and a half.
Stinky mo' fo' out of the gate? Murphy was found to have committed three separate contempts, and was sentenced to an additional 18 months, to be tacked on to his 190 months. He appealed. What do you think the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled?

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Squeezed On: May 1, 2007

Do Not Go Camping With This Man

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Janet Campbell did - once. The man was her husband, Desmond. They pitched their tent 20 yards from a cliff! Per Mr. Campbell, his wife left the tent to go to the bathroom. He heard a sound, and found her body at the bottom of the cliff, 55 yards below. Without anything further, you'd have to take a hard look at Mr. Campbell, no? But there's more. Here's what has been put into evidence at the Coroner's inquest:

Just days after his wife died, he went on vacation with one of the women he was dating while he was married!
He was in significant relationships with at least 3 other women while he was dating or married to Ms. Campbell (and none of them knew he was married).
He didn't go to her funeral.
He had not contributed significantly to the $660,000 property he and Ms. Campbell had recently purchased.
He resigned from the police department in 1994 after being suspended without pay following a number of disciplinary actions against him.
Mr. Campbell was overheard telling colleagues that Ms. Campbell was stalking and harassing him, and that they weren't together anymore.
Mr. Campbell has a reputation as a rogue and a gold-digger.
Although Mr. Campbell is certainly entitled to the presumption of innocence, it's not looking too good. Perhaps that's why he was not even present at the Coroner's inquest?